If the n count obsession is about avoiding infidelity, why aren't male n count discussed?

Kaisha001 · 2020-07-27T11:05:34+00:00

Why isn't male n count discussed as much?

It is, every single time female n-count is brought up one of the BPs inevitably says 'but men cheat too'. Of course they do, no one ever suggested they didn't.

Should women care about n count as much as men do to vet for potential partners?

As has been said here, and countless times elsewhere. Is that women say they care about n-count, but their actions prove otherwise. So while they certainly should, they don't.

Of all the high-n count men I knew, not a single one had problems getting short term or long term relationships. They're high-n count for a reason, and those reasons far outweigh whatever negative stigma having a high-n count brings.

Does the n count obsession reflect more about a certain insecurity or feelings of missing out more than predictors of a strong relationship?

There's definitely insecurity on the male side, and for good reason. We have to deal with both paternity fraud and divorce courts; both which uniquely disadvantage men. Insecurity is an issue too for some men, since men are inherently competitive.

With so much on the line for them, and with 70% of divorces initiated by the woman, it should come as no surprise that men are interested in finding ways to reduce the chance of divorce occurring. Somehow BPs find that misogynistic...

LeJacquelope · 2020-07-27T06:48:14+00:00

Should women care about n count as much as men do to vet for potential partners?

Yes, they damned well should. Don't tell TRP that, though.

aoeusnth48 · 2020-07-27T08:48:52+00:00

Because the fact that a man who has had many women interested in him and has been with many women, but chose YOU for commitment is the exact opposite (he could have had any of those girls but he choose ME) of a woman who's enthusiastically given herself to many men she couldn't have and had to unenthusiastically and begrudgingly "settle" for you as the shot clock on her fertility and youthfulness is running out.

A man will be able to get the most he'll be able to get at higher commitment levels, like marriage.
For women, it's the opposite.

This single dynamic/principle explains more mating/dating behavior than anything else.

For any given woman, the greater degree she has engaged in sex with the best she can attract at lower levels of commitment, the greater degree she'll be dissatisfied with what she can actually attract at progressively higher levels of commitment, since a woman's options (both in terms of quantity and quality) are greatly restricted the higher the level of commitment.

To the extent a woman has sex at lower levels of commitment, that leads to unstable relationships both pre-marriage and for marriage itself.

There's almost no limit to what a decent looking, young woman can get for sex only or a non-commited/casual relationship. (it doesn't matter if a woman's intention was to get into a long/longer-term relationship)

That's why so many women describe having to "settle" and "sacrifice their standards" for the men they can get for marriage. So basically, it's just that those women have made it likely that they won't be good/loyal partners (especially sexually) at higher levels of commitment.

Generally speaking, for modern women today, at the point of marriage it can be characterized as follows: for the woman, it's the worst she's ever had and been with. While for men, it's the most they've had and been with.

This is why promiscuity fundamentally corrupts women for what they can get for progressively higher commitment levels. Promiscuous men are more likely to cheat, yes, but they're not fundamentally corrupted from loving their wives.

And to add another point as to why promiscuous men are good relative to promiscuous women: Because sons of a promiscuous man are likely to be handsome and in high demand and are likely to have better dating/social lives and more likely to reproduce, whereas there's no similar relationship between genetic quality and promiscuity for women. In fact, the more promiscuous the woman, the more likely the children won't be yours. In fact, the more promiscuous the woman, the more likely she was more average attractiveness, and had to settle for casual sex and one night stands with high value men, because she couldn't get higher levels of commitment.

To add yet another point: A man with a promiscuous woman has to worry about his wife cucking him. (big problem) The woman of a promiscuous man has to worry about him cucking another man's promiscuous wife. (much less of a problem, especially if the deceived husband never finds out).

Promuscious woman problems
- not attracted sexually to husband, not interested in sex with husband
- promiscuity increases chances she cucks her own husband
Promiscous man problems
- gets another man's promiscuous wife pregnant

Note: The promiscuous man is likely still sexually attracted to his wife and still desires sex with her. Remember, at the highest commitment, he choose her out of all his options.

And consider the very nature of the infidelity itself with men vs. women. Given that the less commitment a man offers, the quality of what he can attract goes down, the infidelity in marriage for example is much less damaging to a relationship when a man cheats, because the woman will by definition be less than what he could get for higher commitment. While for women in marriage, it's much more damaging because straying outside the marriage for less commitment allows her to get with men she could not get for higher commitment. If you ever wondered why women will more often stay with a cheating husband, now you know the precise logic why.

For promiscuous men vs. women, the difference in value to the opposite sex, the ability to love their partner, and the nature/fallout of infidelity are near polar opposites.

Men's and women's observed behaviors, unsurprisingly, reflect this.

How is there even a question about the desirability of promiscuous men vs. promiscuous women?

I'm absolutely amazed.

Now, remember I said that single principle above explains almost all dating/mating behavior? Well, that principle itself is actually just what follows from an even more basic principle: Sperm is cheap. Eggs are expensive.

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-07-27T07:42:50+00:00

Men's n count is discussed too and many women who wants happy relationships avoid men with high n count as incapable of building healthy relationships. It's like a building house with cracked bricks. I personally avoided them , most my friends avoid them.

NupNupNupNupYep · 2020-07-27T05:51:03+00:00

Male n-count isn’t discussed because:

Women always know their biological children are theirs.
Men have to be reasonably high value to have a high n-count, so women tend to value them more.
Men with high n-counts are generally good at manipulating women to get what they want, so women just think they’re unlucky when their high n-count partner cheats on them.
Women only really want the top 5% of men who all have high n-counts due to how much free pussy is thrown at them, so they pretend not to care in the hope they can join the queue.

kwalden2 · 2020-07-27T06:15:44+00:00

Because women who care about relationship value will just sit back and quietly observe, watching player types out themselves, so that women can next them and move onto other candidates. It's the men here who even continue to deal with people they don't want.

2020-07-27T09:13:44+00:00

Why isn't male n count discussed as much?

Thats down to women. Has dating high N-COunt partners given them bad experiences.

Is there any pattern to be seen between relationships going bad and high n-count men?

Should women care about n count as much as men do to vet for potential partners?

Its their relationships, there choice.

intersIn · 2020-07-27T06:04:27+00:00

Why isn't male n count discussed as much?

Because RP is all about getting laid, and you can't be a star in the locker room if you don't have legendary tales all the women you pumped and dumped. Successful with women = high n count.

It has been brought up a couple times, but the data does not suit the RP narrative.

jacquesreve · 2020-07-27T16:08:00+00:00

If I got one gold coin each time I see a question about N count trying to put men and women in the same boat, I would be a millionaire for sure.

Women hate virginity in men, they despise with all their hearts inexperienced guys because in their minds it means he's not desirable enough to other women! They irrationally conclude that he's not competent or attractive enough genetics wise to have lovers, hence, he can't be himself a good lover. Women like what other women want, not what's the best for themselves.

Men on the other hand are rational and want what is more scarce. If we live in a liberated society, where sex is cheap and easy for some, of course you'll have a significant amount of men looking for low N count women to corrupt. Why should we discuss male N count when women don't care about it?

2020-07-27T16:33:29+00:00

why aren't male n count discussed?

Women PREFER men with HIGH N counts not lower.. Having a high n count is a signifier of a man's attractiveness, high n count typically goes with the man is very attractive..

Do you think women would rather marry a man like Leonardo Di Caprio who more than likely has a super high n count , a guy like Dan Bilzerian who DEFINITELY has a super high N count or Bob from the local Church who is a virgin but pays all his bills on time?

Anyone who thinks women will choose Bob is delusional.

If you think my assessment is wrong. Ask yourself why women insult men on reddit by calling them incels when they say something those women dislike... Because they inherently value non-incel men where as ugly men(incels) have no value.

nemma88 · 2020-07-27T09:35:49+00:00

It's not talked about half as much because the sub has far more Incel men than any pill women, and they only care about 'winning' against the evil women rather than Reds, Blues, science, physiology etc.

Talking about women's promiscuity and infidelity, to the extent it is here - which is loud and often irrelevant derailing of the topic, rhymes with mope and is a way to feel like regaining control of their shitty situations.

Women know not all men are loyal, we deal. Some better than others. It's a learning form experience curve many women will go through and they learn behaviors associated with players don't make fuss of it. For anyone who struggles with this vetting there is FDS.

LittyKitsune · 2020-07-27T06:47:10+00:00

Why isn't male n count discussed as much?

Women often tolerate a high n in exchange for a man's experience, especially for casual encounters. I've been told this is one of the main drawbacks of my preference for virgins.

The idea is that the more experience a man has, the less likely that sex will be unenjoyable, if not outright painful (in theory). The value of a high N is negated if the man is still a bad sex partner despite his experience.

Do you think it is reasonable and consistent to expect low n count partners while not remaining one yourself?

No. Some will argue that because it is harder for men to rack up a high n and easy for a woman a man with a higher n is "high value" while a woman with a lower n is his equivalent.

I don't follow that logic though. I'd prefer to marry another virgin, same as pretty much every virgin I know.

Should women care about n count as much as men do to vet for potential partners?

Women should vet affording to what they prioritize. Some are going to prioritize better sex, others are going to prioritize compatible values, fidelity, etc.

Does the n count obsession reflect more about a certain insecurity or feelings of missing out more than predictors of a strong relationship?

I honestly can't say for sure. I'm not a man so I can't relate to that feeling of competition with other men.

Silverfox17421 · 2020-07-27T11:27:17+00:00

LOL. A high n count in men actually gets you laid. I have a friend, ex-porn star, who has had sex with 200 females. Women always ask him his count, and he just tells them. He tells me a lot of women get really horny when they hear his number. A lot ask him for his number or ask him out soon after they hear his numbers.

Lots of women like men with high n counts. That's why it's not an issue.

Lots of men do not like women with high n counts. That's why it is an issue.

Pretty simple really.

lilastr · 2020-07-27T07:06:22+00:00

It’s not discussed much because:

-Sexual insecurity/anxiety

-Men In this sub are on the slight misogynistic side.

-A lot of men obsess over n count and degrade high n count women because it’s like having revenge for those women rejecting them. “I can’t believe these hotties fucked all these 1000 men but never gave me a chance.” Because it’s a Revenge fantasy.

I think it’s hypocritical. I don’t think any woman would put up with things they straight up write here. Unless they lie to that woman and act fake woke, I think even the dumbest woman would feel uncomfortable hearing “Your body count should be less than mine” talk.
Women absolutely should care about men’s n count for LTR. Now, it’s not a revenge fantasy (unlike these men here). Women should be very very skeptical about marrying promiscuous men because:

-Promiscuous is a sign of mental instability (BPD/Substance abuse/high impulsivity that might result in abuse, etc et ). Sign of poor character (poor self control/discipline/irresponsibility, if he’s a “pleasure man” he is absolutely ineligible for father role. Marriage and kids is anything but pleasure and entertainment 24/7. And promiscuous men will have extremely hard time coping with that. Which leads to cheating.)

-Promiscuous man as husband is bad for a virgin woman’s dignity. Giving your life & investing your womanhood in a man who probably simped for other women who don’t need to sacrifice their womanhood. Bad deal, almost gambling.

-Promiscuous men (and women) lost the pair bonding ability. You’re not the special one, you’re number something something he/she found complicate with to settle. Like retirement plan in some sense. Men who fucked a lot of women Will not value you as much emotionally. Women who were fucked often will not be valued emotionally.

Promiscuous men or virgin men aren’t too attractive. It’s about men who had the potential of sexual promiscuity but chose not to act on it. It shows self control, high morals, strict values and NOT DESPERATE (oh my god I wanna stress how unattractive desperate men are). It’s like Harmful men and nice men are equally bad, it’s about dangerous man who is civilized that is the attractive and most importantly, extremely high value. Because it needs efforts and responsibility to control it. It’s hard. So anything easy in life is low value. For women too. End of discussion.

TheJim66 · 2020-07-27T06:18:18+00:00

In fact, studies suggest high number of short term partners leads to higher chance of infidelity for men than for women.

Studies are actually inconsistent on this. Others show a greater effect on women.

Why isn't male n count discussed as much?

Because the reason n count is a problem for men is because we are disgusted by investing in sluts. We have evolved that way due to paternity uuncertainty.The infidelity risk is just a bonus. Women not only have no problem with high n, they select for it.

Also, IMO the reason high n men have higher infidelity rates is because high n men are more attractive thus they got more chances to cheat than other men.

Do you think it is reasonable and consistent to expect low n count partners while not remaining one yourself? Is this just about those who want to have their cake and eat it too?

Men aren't women. We find different things attractive and unattractive. Women want a tall man, a richer man, a braver man , a more confident man, a man better than them in pretty much every way. Men don't give a fuck about any of these things. Women are disgusted by virgins, men prefer virgins. Men are disgusted by sluts, women prefer high n men. It's sexual dimorphism

Should women care about n count as much as men do to vet for potential partners?

If they want to. But they wont because it's against their nature.

Does the n count obsession reflect more about a certain insecurity or feelings of missing out more than predictors of a strong relationship?

No. Wifing up the town bike is just gross.

Jagrmystr · 2020-07-27T10:09:47+00:00

What does it take to be a high n count woman? Just showing up. Literally.

What does it take to be a high n count man? You have to look a certain way, act a certain way, be somewhat in shape, well spoken, sense of humor, drive a nice(r) car, decent job, and all around have your shit together or at least be able to pretend to. It’s all a bit more complicated than just showing up...

willwa2103 · 2020-07-27T14:08:43+00:00

That’s just how things are. Having a low body count as a man is seen from women’s perspective as a sign of inexperience and is also unattractive as "if no other woman wants to sleep with you there must be something wrong with you therefor why should I?" This is preselection. It’s just how female nature is. Women care a lot about what other women think. If a man has slept with a lot of women means he has been preselected by them and other women will most definitely find him attractive and want him. Also the fact that it is much more difficult to have a high body count as a man compared to a woman as men to be attractive we have to work on our body, work on our finances and resources and all those things in order to be in the best position to attract women. Even men who naturally have good looks still have to do some work as looks can only get you as far as it can. However body count for women on the opposite is viewed differently as it’s relatively easy for a woman to have sex. She literally just have to be there for it to happen. A high body count for a woman is seen as unattractive in men’s eyes as the opposite for men is seen as attractive in women’s eyes. It’s just how both sexes are wired. Also there’s a study that says a woman retains the DNA of every man they’ve had sex with. No high value guy will want to commit to a woman who slept with like 10+ guys. Bottom line is a big part of a woman’s value comes from her low body count and part of a man’s value comes from his ability to be attractive to women as it is a sign of preselection in a woman’s eyes.

Presenttodler · 2020-07-27T16:38:18+00:00

Because men with high n counts are more desired by women. It quite hard to slay lots of women if you’re not good looking/rich. Every ugly girl can get laid without a problem.

It’s as simple as that.

wowweeewhoknows · 2020-07-27T05:48:29+00:00

It is.. I’ve heard it discussed by multiple women, the difference is men keep it moving, if a girl doesn’t want you due to your n count he keeps it moving. Women try to force men who don’t want them to accept them regardless ... (through gauge mass shaming)

Mimoxs · 2020-07-27T06:36:46+00:00

1) Bc the sub is male dominated and men consider it a waste of their time to discuss how issues affect women

& The type of men plaguing this place are ones who believe men can do no wrong but wahmen bad

2) absolutely not and this is the most frustrating thing about these men. If you're out fucking the whole town you don't deserve a low n count partner, these men are just irritating and entitled.

Yes it is a have their cake and eat it too situation. But I think to some extent they know they can't have both? I think they rant about it online so much bc of this.

3) yes! Women need to care. It is imperative to weed these men out.

4) it can be all of the above or just one. It depends on the individual and their reasoning.

antariusz · 2020-07-27T11:01:35+00:00

Newsflash: women who "claim" not to have a lot of sex also "claim" not to have any affairs, shocking.

Self-reported studies suck.

MrCusCus · 2020-07-27T11:11:11+00:00

Because women are the ones who decide if sex occurs, men are the ones that have to fight for it being brought up as unattractive beta cucks in this system.

Evolution has brought us to this place and right now women created an advantageous system for themselves.

Equality will never exist, there are two completely different sides to the coin.

12112019 · 2020-07-27T11:59:14+00:00

It isn't discussed because there is a high correlation between men women find attractive and n-count, which suggests that women don't really have enough men who they are attracted to and don't have high n-count.

2020-07-27T12:05:34+00:00

It's not really about infedelity.

It's about cuckoldry.

Women, outside of irresponsible promiscuity or rape situations always know who the father is. There is far less genetic strength in avoiding high n count males and if anything that high n count is a positive genetically.

asdf333aza · 2020-07-27T13:12:51+00:00

Because a female is going to know it is her child mo matter what, that's why the male N count and infidelity doesn't matter as much. She's literally birthing it. Men on the hand just have "trust" or "believe" the child is theirs. Paternity test are rarely ever done. And then a guy ends up putting time, attention and resource into a kid that isn't his, and that's basically the definition of being a cuck. No one wants to be a cuck.

And then a women with a high count is just more likely to divorce you. So if you guys are married or in some kind of committed relationship with kids, he is risking his income, saving, house, cars and basically all his resources. Women rarely ever recieve as much damage in a divorce as men do. So he is putting more at risk than she is. With that said, he would most like want a female who is less likely to cheat on him, aka the body count girl.

And then their is the lack of morals that comes with loose women. Provided they're in a relationship, she is most likely going to do most of the child rearing. And he has to worry about her passing on her ideas and morals into his children. And that crap matters. I'm sure you girls wouldn't want a redpilled man raising your boys and putting ideas into their heads at a young age, right? Well we wouldn't want sluts or girls from fds influencing our girls. If you give a single fuck about your kids, you're gonna care who is educating and spending time with them.

tossa445 · 2020-07-27T13:15:24+00:00

Women should care about a man's N count but many just don't.
most people who want low n count partners are low n count themselves, although not all are.
Yes, if women put social pressure on men to be low N count it would be good for everyone. Men and women should put pressure on each other to be monogamous and loyal partners, though I believe insisting on virginity is unsustainable
They go hand in hand. It's not an obsession. This is something that's rooted in many global cultures and been a mainstay of interpersonal relationships for recorded history

daddysgotanew · 2020-07-27T13:48:31+00:00

Because it’s not a negative. Women like men that are desired by other women. They’ll hamster themselves to the end of the earth but their actions prove it to be true

peak82 · 2020-07-27T13:49:37+00:00

Why?

Women use the sexual success of a potential partner as an indicator of that partner's quality. If a guy is always getting attractive women, other women will assume there's a reason for that. There is no evolutionary basis for this behavior in men, as they mainly rely on their own visual assessment of women when looking for a partner. Men also have to be more careful to find partners that are faithful to ensure they are raising their own offspring; that obviously isn't a factor for women.

It seems that women are much more likely to be forgiving of a high n count because of the implication it has on the quality of their current partner. That's a broad generalization, but it seems to be largely true.

anon_likes_tendies · 2020-07-27T13:56:34+00:00

If you believe in the 80/20 rule

Then 20% of men have a high n count and have no need for marriage/commitment/relationships

Because they are revolving dooring the 80% of women with high n count.

Hence the 80% of men without the high n count aren’t discussed.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2020-07-27T16:15:39+00:00

Why?

Like... Are you serious?

How do you think high N count men racked those numbers yo begin with? Having troubles to date women?

Also, women want experienced men, in bed for ONS, "mature grown men" for LTR (and part of that maturity comes from experience with women).

Men don't care if a woman is a virgin, a prude or a slut for a ONS, if she wants it then all right, and for LTR women with a tame past are preferable than promiscuous ones, and some guys may even consider virginity a huge plus.

I don't know why women date and laid "players" but they do.

We should discuss instead why women don't discuss that much sexual past in men, or why they seem to not care that much, don't you think?

prunusamygdalis · 2020-07-27T16:27:03+00:00

Mansluts are gross, more at 7

gopher_glitz · 2020-07-27T22:23:55+00:00

People in the market for a truck won't discuss the value of motorcycles.

It's up to women if they care about the n count of their male partners. Which often they don't, UNLESS it's paid services.

DerekMorganBAU · 2020-07-28T02:58:05+00:00

Because it doesn't matter. I've cheated on all my exes and they've all came back to me knowing that I've fucked or am fucking other women and that I have a daughter.

Women. Don't. Give. A. Fuck.

luckecage · 2020-07-28T06:54:49+00:00

I do not ask questions I do not want to know

Proteinsaurus · 2020-07-28T08:06:03+00:00

Women Like high n-count men, else they wouldn't have a high n-count.

arjay8 · 2020-07-28T18:06:20+00:00

N count judgement , by men of women, allows for an approximation of paternal certainty. A mans only guarantee he isnt wasting his resources on some other guys child is that his woman isnt cheating on him. It follows that commitment to a woman with a low n count is more likely to ensure he is the father of the children he provides resources for. A woman rejects promiscuity, and ridicules promiscuous women, so she can secure a mans resources for childrearing. In todays society, with divorce courts and welfare, a mans resources are devalued to the point of meaninglessness.

2020-07-27T06:17:35+00:00

Because women desire high n count men.

Workaholiconew · 2020-07-27T06:01:01+00:00

Because TRP men don't care about it. We dont want relationships you know?... so infidelity is not a problem.

We would love to have found a low n count woman in our low n count past and have her for life, but there wasn't many and the few who were, didn't want to deal with low n count men... add to that our sexual needs.

And you see why we chose the second best option. No relationships.

flamingoinghome · 2020-07-27T15:20:19+00:00

Because these Casanova wannabes would like to believe that sport-fucking actively makes a man more attractive, rather than that many women will tolerate a slutty man if he has other appealing qualities.

This edges waaaaaaaay too close to the fact that promiscuity preferences tend to be pretty weak.

Meritamen9 · 2020-07-27T06:49:49+00:00

Men are not attracted to high n count women for primal reasons (paternity certainty), women haven't evolved that repulsion due to always knowing who their children are.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-07-27T11:24:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

highoncatnipbrownies · 2020-07-27T12:29:12+00:00

Because it's not at all about infidelity. First, it's about virginal women being more highly valued. And second, women have an extreme advantage in the dating world. Just make a tinder account with a photo of a marginally attractive woman and BOOM your inbox is full. Women with high n counts know that they have other options available. So if this boyfriend doesn't treat her that way she wants to be treated then the high n count woman presumably knows she can replace him with a better quality suitor. Men don't want women with options, they are more work to maintain.

I_sort_by_new_fam · 2020-07-27T12:50:09+00:00

because patriarchy. next question. you see the double standard on this sub all of the time. (before y'all redpillers attack me I am a man thx)

Enosh25 · 2020-07-27T13:36:26+00:00

straight men don't date men, if you want to discuss it no one is stopping you from doing it, also most women prefer men with higher n-counts because it shows the male as desirable, so shrug

astrobrah · 2020-07-27T13:59:08+00:00

it is also sometimes discussed
infidelity is literally only one of a handful of good reason n count is worth considering.

statusincorporated · 2020-07-27T14:09:22+00:00

Yes women should care.

Double standards are the height of immaturity.

Reisiluu · 2020-07-27T14:49:28+00:00

I've always said man whores are gross, but it just kind of goes out the other ear for a lot of guys here because they don't care about being desirable to low n women looking for a relationship.

YveisGrey · 2020-07-27T15:02:42+00:00

Lol yep this absolutely is about wanting to have cake and eat it. Oh and if I was married and my husband cheated I would too. Two can play that game. So he can try me.

FeniZio94 · 2020-07-27T15:23:51+00:00

Male n counts and female n count perceived damage works differently

Women attach emotions to sex (any woman that tries to defy this is only doing it out of brainwashing and being a domesticated ape... you can’t fight biology). Women start getting emotionally damaged by an n count of 3-4

Men start getting damaged emotionally by an n count of 15-20

SteveSan82 · 2020-07-27T16:29:42+00:00

Men and women are different. Feminist lies cannot defeat biology.

pablosito · 2020-07-27T17:01:32+00:00

The studies I’ve seen show the same trend in infidelity/divorce just with different stages. Where things really take a dive for women is around 30 partners that same dive doesn’t happen for men till about 50 partners. Also no it is not unreasonable to want a low n count woman despite being a high n count man. Reason being is that it’s easy for a woman to have a high n count. That’s why they’re called sluts when they sleep around. Where as when a man does it he’s called a stud because it usual. Takes SOMETHING to sleep around a lot. Should woman vet men based on their sexual paste? Yes. Obviously I don’t think that should be the only metric for judging someone but men judge women for their sexual histories because it helps us get a picture of who they are. Anyone who says “it doesn’t matter, and it’s in the past” is lying to themselves and willfully ignorant of how people work. And the n count obsession is Damon near universal. I would argue on a global scale only a small amount of men “don’t care” about a woman’s sexual past. So obviously there’s some form of primal belief that promiscuity is wrong. And does it reflect an insecurity? Yes. And I would agsin argue it’s a primal thing. Woman are guaranteed to have their own children. Men for most of our planetary existence had no way to guarantee that a child was ours. Having DNA tests now doesn’t undue thousands of years of behavioural evolution.

wtknight · 2020-07-27T17:08:36+00:00

It's not discussed more because, even though said men are more likely to cheat, they are also more likely to be of higher value. On the other hand, I believe that studies have shown that more attractive women usually have lower N counts since they can lock down the relationships that they want without having to resort to the "sexual gambling" and potentially being pumped and dumped that women who are of average value often do.

screamifyouredriving · 2020-07-27T17:47:57+00:00

Because for guys it's seen as cool to have a high n count and if you're a guy and you mention that you have had sex with 34 women, as I have, haters call you an incel because they're projecting.

vagbutters · 2020-07-27T18:51:28+00:00

Because male and female sexuality are inherently different. Our pair bonding mechanisms are different, likely down to a biochemical level (e.g. role of oxytocin vs. vasopressin in male/female mammalian models).

I'm not saying that men with high n-counts are better or equivalent to men with low n counts, but the evidence we have suggests that it is way more damning for women to have high n counts than men.

HatezWomenzCuzIncelz · 2020-07-27T19:38:34+00:00

Because men cannot have paternal certainty, whereas women are guaranteed maternal certainty.

2020-07-27T19:38:48+00:00

I think the overriding reason that n count matters to men is paternity. If it was just men and women cheating on each other at the same rates, nobody would care. But from an evolutionary standpoint, a LOT of men are hard wired to repulsed by high n count in women. It is a double standard but since, historically, men were never absolutely sure of paternity, a lot of value was put on how low his partner's number was.

Even though paternity is easily established now, this double standard seems to be very active in a lot of men whether it makes sens to women or not. Women are always sure of parentage, but men want to know that they are spending 18-26 of their time, attention, and financial resources on children that are actually theirs.

Society shames them for it, but I don't blame any man who cares about it. They should! And I would if I wanted to be a dad. So while it's a double standard, a lot of men have expectations of their partners that they maybe don't have of themselves although they should too.

I think if parentage were not part of the equation then infidelity would be perceived as equally as important across all genders.

2020-07-27T20:16:41+00:00

Where in the us do you go

honeybooboo50 · 2020-07-27T23:18:41+00:00

because we live in a man's world

the thing you should worry most about is how he treated other women and if he had problems with them, how they split, and if he cheated in past relationships, if he doesnt want to talk about his past thats a huge red flag, because then you also cant know anything about how he talks about these things, he should be open about it otherwise dont waste your time, your employer also asks about your previous job

Grave_Heresy · 2020-07-28T02:41:59+00:00

Why isn't male n count discussed as much?

Assuming that you are talking about PPD, it isn't discussed as much because people don't post about it as much. Irl people definitely talk about men's n count.

Biologically speaking males will always be more concerned about infidelity than females because males didn't have paternal certainty for the bulk of human evolution. Thus natural selection favored the men who were more vigilant about ensuring their partners fidelity. On the other hand, the female has maternal certainty.

Do you think it is reasonable and consistent to expect low n count partners while not remaining one yourself? Is this just about those who want to have their cake and eat it too?

A person can expect whatever they would like. But they have to negotiate with the other party to get it. Human mating is an arms race evolutionarily speaking. She has to get the best partner, he has to get the most partners. She will cheat to get better genes for her offspring, he will cheat to have more offspring.

Should women care about n count as much as men do to vet for potential partners?

They can but it doesn't matter in the West as much since the average woman will always have significantly more partners than the average man. By 30 if he is an average looking guy who went to college he will have gotten 8 partners max. In contrast by 30 an average looking woman will have had at least 100 partners. If he is above average in looks then you definitely want to vet him since attractive men are more likely to cheat especially if they are also high status.

Does the n count obsession reflect more about a certain insecurity or feelings of missing out more than predictors of a strong relationship?

As previously stated the "Insecurity" is an evolutionary adaptation to female promiscuity (Gene fishing) that helps to mitigate the risk of cuckoldry. Certainly, the brain might rationalize the aversion to promiscuous females with a narrative such as the one you've presented. But the distal cause is natural selection via paternity fraud.

Most responses just confirming my point that the n count discussion isn't about avoiding infidelity at all...

See the above response. If you ask these questions as a legitimate inquiry then I would caution against confirmation bias here.

ontherailstoday · 2020-07-28T03:50:50+00:00

They are discussed... by low n count women... all the time. Just we don't use the term "n-count"

Players, PUAs, fuckbois, sex addicts. Scum of the earth.

Tribotmain · 2020-07-28T05:30:49+00:00

A whore is a whore. I don't think gender matters for this one. I don't care if you think you are special cause you are a stud. It's disrespectful for your future partner. I discuss it with my friends, no one likes a whore.

HatezWomenzCuzIncelz · 2020-07-29T04:28:49+00:00

An Analogy For Marriage

Let's say Jim wants to buy an iPad. He goes to the Apple store and waits in line. There's two men ahead of Jim in line. When the man approaches the counter the salesperson says, "Wow! You're really hot! You deserve a free iPad." And the salesperson gives the man a new, free iPad. When the second man approaches the counter the salesperson says, "Wow! You're so sexy! You deserve a free iPad." And the salesperson gives the man a new, free iPad. When Jim approaches the counter the salesperson says, "You're cute." And the salesperson hands Jim a previously used, thirty year old iPad. The iPad still has jizz stains on it. Jim can only wonder what this iPad was used for. It seems broken from previous user's abuse. Jim isn't even sure this iPad can keep a reliable connection. The operating system is obsolete and it can no longer download the apps Jim wanted. The previous users might have been so caresless that they even damaged the memory. The face is cracked. Jim asks the salesperson for the price. The salesperson retrieves a contract that includes an upfront fee of two months of Jim's income in gold and diamonds, the cost of a marriage and a divorce, alimony, and child support, as well as associated cost of lawyers and court fees. Jim thinks about those two men in line before him that got new, free iPads and realizes that Apple doesn't respect him as a customer so he leaves and buys a motorcycle.

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sparklingscott · 2020-07-27T14:13:39+00:00

Because women are primarily superficial and care most about status. Men who fuck a lot of women tend to be high status. So the female lizard brain short circuits rendering them incapable of caring.

MikepGrey · 2020-07-27T07:11:50+00:00

ANSWER

What do you call a key, that can open any lock - "A Master Key"

What do you call a lock opened by any key? - "A Shitty Lock"

That is why male N counts are not discussed : )

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-07-27T06:58:26+00:00

I think most women don't care that much about high n-counts for men because of what it implies. Most high-n men are considered desirable so there's a lot of preselection there.

Women also will generally spend more effort trying to lock down more desirable partners than settle with less desirable partners who are more stable, at least in the beginning, though. They tend to settle for less desirable partners because the higher n-count partners are still not considered viable long-term mates even in older age.

Should women care about n count as much as men do to vet for potential partners?

Should they? Maybe. Definitely in their youth, but they much less likely to care.

Does the n count obsession reflect more about a certain insecurity or feelings of missing out more than predictors of a strong relationship?

I think it depends on what age they are. Women are generally insecure about relationships but do their best to lock down hot/desirable men in their teens and 20's. Then when they realize that those men aren't good for long-term relationships, they'll try to find more stable partners. I'm not sure where the thought of "missing out" comes from unless they've been more restricted or conservative but catch a glimpse of everyone else "having fun" with casual relationships or wonder if they've been selling themselves short.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2020-07-27T08:24:21+00:00

Why isn't male n count discussed as much?

Because infidelity destroys relationships, and because men bear the exit costs of relationships with women, but women have essentially no exit costs.

Want to stop slut-shaming? Then you need to reduce the costs men face when the relationship is dissolved.

Dongune · 2020-07-27T13:06:46+00:00

Because not many men are able to get high n counts. As for women, they always have the opportunity to.

Eastuss · 2020-07-27T07:33:04+00:00

Polysexuality is masculine and more expected in men than women.

Title	If the n count obsession is about avoiding infidelity, why aren't male n count discussed?
Author	ha_na_bi
Upvotes	133
Comments	527
Date	July 27, 2020 5:44 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hymhvy/if_the_n_count_obsession_is_about_avoiding/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-the-n-count-obsession-is-about-avoiding.718952 https://theredarchive.com/post/718952

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