Late bloomer men should absolutely not date younger women

Steakman1 · 2024-02-29T15:55:31+00:00

You made an argument that dating younger would be difficult. But where is the argument for why it would be easier for late bloomers to date women their own age instead? This isn’t a gotcha. Just seems like we’re missing part of the argument here. In reality it’s likely going to be a challenge no matter who the guy dates because he has this obstacle. But why would it be easier to date his own age instead? All you’ve said is “trust me age gap relationships are playing on hard mode.”

dirty_cheeser · 2024-02-29T19:21:58+00:00

My advice is the opposite. If you lack relationship skills, I would recommend younger for anything serious, same age or older is fine if it's casual.

As a late bloomer who eventually had my pick of older, same age and younger women, older women were more complicated than you think. Several of them were very clear they were on a timeline for kids quickly sometimes before the first date and many were jaded and cynical from past relationships. I was told that I reminded them what it was like to date in high school, usually in a negative way. I'm in a serious relationship with someone younger and inexperienced, sure the maturity gap caused some issues but overall she's by far the easiest to get along with.

Tripleawge · 2024-02-29T16:16:48+00:00

As a self made Late Bloomer I would implore ALL men to take what OP said and stick it in the trash. If by some miracle you get the ability to raise your SMV by 3 or 4 points on a scale of 10 the LAST thing you should or could care about is that. Have Fun live your life like a goddamm Julia Roberts movie. The past is unchanging and history is for books that people will never read in libraries… get out into the world and explore

rejected-again · 2024-02-29T20:55:45+00:00

So late bloomer men are told that older women don't want the burden of dating an inexperienced man but now they're being told that younger women are too much for them to handle. Maybe you should just say you want them to be eunuchs.

M3taBuster · 2024-02-29T18:28:21+00:00

From best/easiest to worst/hardest: same age, same experience > younger, same experience > same age, more experience > younger, more experience.

I think we'd all agree that it's ideal for "late bloomer" men to date women their own age who are also "late bloomers", but that's hard to find, and gets harder and harder the older you get. It's much easier to find a younger woman who matches your experience level, which isn't ideal, but still better than the remaining options.

ShakeNBake007 · 2024-02-29T19:02:38+00:00

As a baby faced 40 year old. You’re damned either way. Women your age feel weird being seen with a man who looks 15 years her junior. Younger women are cool with it until they ask you your age. Aging slowly as a man is difficult.

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-02-29T20:02:24+00:00

Men don’t decide who gets sex and relationships.

Women decide.

So, any relationship dynamic you have a problem with, including age gap, blame the woman.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-02-29T15:45:06+00:00

Oh look a pussy gatekeeper

Hoopy223 · 2024-02-29T16:07:04+00:00

I was one of those guys sort of and dating “younger” women was easier. It’s hard for me to explain though because if you’ve never been there you won’t understand it.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2024-02-29T15:33:24+00:00

"the man's inexperience with relationships will soon start to show" doesn't that apply with dating older women? aren't older women more likely to to notice your inexperience?

"Unless you only want a hookup and nothing else. Then go ahead. But then again might as well just pay a sex worker if you just want to get your dick wet." I have been with a sex worker but felt fake. Also, while currently my emphasis is more on the physical I still ned a bit of human connection for it to work, not a lot of it but more than the cold customer experience that is going to a sex worker.

Real_Line_8074 · 2024-02-29T15:54:48+00:00

There's no winning for late bloomer men. Only settling

Youngrazzy · 2024-02-29T19:27:51+00:00

A younger woman is way better for a late bloomer.

Ok-Map-7596 · 2024-02-29T15:34:42+00:00

I don't think they can. A man pushing 30 and still a virgin is not likely to be desirable to women to begin with, let alone to younger women who prefer to date men their own age.

Young women are high in demand why would a woman with a lot of options settle for a late bloomer?

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-02-29T19:37:08+00:00

anyone should date any person they meet who they like, who likes them back and who is legal. the end. they should get hurt, be happy, win, fail, succeed and lose, break up, stay together--the whole gamut of human experience until they find someone to be with

Boring_Bass_902 · 2024-02-29T20:41:44+00:00

Older women don’t want late bloomer men either. No women want late bloomer men as far as I can tell

victinibro · 2024-03-01T12:25:35+00:00

Dating a younger woman means the man gets what he prioritizes, which is beauty, since younger women are more attractive on average. Also, assuming the guy is a late bloomer and has less relationship experience, a younger woman is a better match, since on average she will have less relationship experience than an older woman.

Jehshehabah · 2024-02-29T15:56:03+00:00

I’d sooner go the sugar daddy route than settle for women in their 30s with a high body counts.

For me personally I hope to get into a relationship organically in my 20s and maintain that relationship with her into our 30s.

But this notion of being ignored throughout my 20s then suddenly being expected to settle is not happening.

Zabadoodude · 2024-02-29T18:00:10+00:00

Late bloomer men, like all people should be more open to dating different kinds of people. There's going to be few that you really click with. Unlrss its an extreme age gap, discarding them because they're too old or too young seems superficial.

treadmarks · 2024-02-29T15:59:57+00:00

If you're dating someone your own age but has way more life experience than you, isn't that a power imbalance and they're going to dominate the relationship? Or do women only get upset about power imbalances when they favor the man?

If anything, the inexperience would be balanced out by the age difference and the relationship would be more give and take. Or maybe you're both inexperienced and are able to relate to each other better.

Step_Virtual · 2024-02-29T16:50:55+00:00

Who touched you as a kid?

DietTyrone · 2024-02-29T17:02:37+00:00

It may not be easier, but if the choices are between:

A) Older woman whose aged out of the market and is desperate to settle before her eggs dry, and will pick a half decent Joe Schmoe she has no initial attraction to because he's stable vs.

B) Younger woman whose in her prime but might be less mature or use you for your resources.

I'd choose B cause at least you get a young beautiful woman in the exchange.

the man's inexperience with relationships will soon start to show.

It'll show whether you date a young or older woman. If anything, an older woman will expect you to be experienced at her age and have less tolerance for an inexperienced man. Unless she's really desperate. I can't think of a single negative trait a guy might have that would only effect younger women and not older women as well.

WingLeviosa · 2024-02-29T15:42:48+00:00

If a 21 year old hottie hands me her number and wants to date, guess what I’m going to do. I’m gonna date TF out of her.

arcticshqip · 2024-02-29T16:45:55+00:00

Why late bloomer men don't date late bloomer women?

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-02-29T20:46:06+00:00

I disagree with this post. I have upvoted it, nonetheless, because this relationship virgin (40M) needs a balanced perspective on whom should I date.

Ok-Minute4621 · 2024-02-29T22:05:01+00:00

This is just another rage bait troll post

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-02-29T17:07:38+00:00

What do you mean by late bloomer?

I first had sex @ 21 and went on to be with the same girl for 9 years (doing only casual since)

I consider myself a very late bloomer, but I probably have more relationship/sex experience/knowledge than most men

The_Forgotten001 · 2024-02-29T16:22:12+00:00

Date who gets you...

Older women tend to be dominating or masculine. Doubly so if they're career women, even more true if they already have a house. At that point she will be unwilling to give up anything and will expect you to bend to her whims or get out.

younger women have more energy and tend to be more feminine, agreeable and be
excited for trips out (unless they are an instagram model then don't waste your time). People complain about relatability...but that's weeded out during the dating phase.... you know compatibility. IF a someone doesn't think they're compatible.... they leave.... the relationship never happens.

Also gold diggers are gold diggers and can be found through all ages. it's up to the unexperienced man to learn not to lead with his money to attract women, and how to read intentions.

Myagooshki2 · 2024-02-29T16:09:21+00:00

This is silly. You don't need to be "experienced with relationships" to be attractive.

Pathosgrim · 2024-02-29T19:43:39+00:00

it's actually playing on hard mode.

What do you know about hard mode in anything? Hard mode is men's default difficulty

Over_North8884 · 2024-02-29T21:50:27+00:00

So are you advocating using older women as practice?

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2024-02-29T22:42:58+00:00

His best option is too date a younger inexperienced woman so they can grow and evolve the relationship at a slower pace because they both lack experience. The absolute worse thing he can do is get with a woman his own age. She will have vastly more sexual experience and will be nearing the end of her child bearing years, so she will be more likely to be in a relationship and marriage with a man she doesn't find very sexually attractive as long as he checks other boxes. These relationships are destined for dead bedrooms and divorces and they represent the majority of modern marriages.

tadL · 2024-02-29T15:59:38+00:00

Nope. I was 30 and the mother of my children was 20 when we met. She was objectively better in every aspect compared to a 10 year older ♀️.

We have the free choice to date who we can as the other side has the free choice to do it too.

How about 30plus singles women and single parent mothers should stop dating?

And such posts show how fascist the left wingers like you are.

May I ask questions? How old are you. Do you have a husband and children?

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-02-29T18:02:08+00:00

I have a few points:

A late bloomer man would have similar experience as a young woman, so they'd both be inexperienced
It's easier to mold a young woman to be your ideal woman, than it is for an older woman. So it's completely the opposite of "hard-mode"
Younger women are more valuable anyways so if a man improves himself enough, he deserves higher caliber women.

harmonica2 · 2024-02-29T17:06:33+00:00

I'm a late bloomer guy and my gf is 16 years younger than me and it's going really well. But does that make me an outlier?

noxiouslittleman · 2024-03-01T11:49:44+00:00

Older women typically have a ton of emotional and relationship baggage. They're unforgiving of inexperienced men and want a relationship and marriage from these men while having a lot more experience than the men in question. Dating them is absolutely not a good idea. Older women are fine for casual sex but late bloomers should seek younger women for relationships because they'd have similar levels of experience and from my personal experiences, Gen z women are a lot more forgiving of inexperience and aren't as into casual sex as are millennials.

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2024-02-29T15:33:48+00:00

Why would dating a younger women be more difficult? They have less bodies, less expectations, less likely to have children/baggage.

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2024-02-29T15:37:36+00:00

Also if the women didn’t want you when you 10 years ago but wants you now because you have money and a good job. How is that good for their self of steam?

John_Oakman · 2024-02-29T18:50:50+00:00

Older people have much higher financial and economic expectations, and generally more inflexible in terms of their lifestyle and moral character. Chances are the late bloomer has even less of a chance with a women of their age who is full of wisdom, maturity, & life experiences, and the expectations that comes with that.

ThrowawayHomesch · 2024-03-01T14:18:42+00:00

You couldn’t be more wrong. I’m a late bloomer dating a chick who is a lot younger than me (10 yr gap). Trust me it’s way better than dating a someone my own age. I tried dating women my own age for over a year and it was nothing but a huge waste of time. Older women take the fun out of dating and treat the whole thing like a job interview or business transaction. The overall feeling I get is they’ve all “been there done that” and are now just looking for a beta provider to settle down with.🤢 huge turn off

On the other hand, younger women have way more reasonable standards of what they like in a guy because they haven’t had much experience.

It’s like how when I was a little kid, I would be super excited for the new $30 Pokemon game that was coming out for the GBA, but now even the most expensive $1300 smartphone or $2000 laptop doesn’t impress me. I just buy it and think “meh” and go on with my day.

And even the whole intimacy thing is better. I haven’t had sex with my gf but even kissing or holding a 20 - 25 y/o is way better than kissing a 30 - 45 y/o woman.

In regards to sex workers, you have to worry about STDs. On top of that, it’s a completely different feeling being with someone who actually wants to kiss you and have sex with you than someone who is just doing it as a job and doesn’t enjoy it.

CountMandrake · 2024-03-01T19:25:11+00:00

I have a history of dating younger women.

1 No, they are not "only a few women". There are plenty of them.

2 No, they are not idiots, nor gold diggers, nor inmature inexperienced women who are taken advantage of.

3 There is definetly a difference in personality of young women and older ones in favour of the first. To put is simply, "experience" is NOT, and I repeat, DEFINETLY NOT an asset in the context of a relationship.

Having been through too much, having ""been there and done that", having already gone through the "fun years", having had too many partners (and specially bad ones), having had too much "sexual experimentation"...

Yeah, ALL that wears off the funny part of being in a relationship.

Yes, I know, dating women my age nowadays is way easier than dating younger gals.

But that's just because ALL men want younger gals... Including dudes my age.

Nobody wants the +33 years old gal who has done everything. Instinctually, all men know that gal is a bad prospect for a relationship.

I have nothing against older women, and in fact I'm currently dating one 36 years old... But she's the exception. The other two girls I'm dating are younger than 27.

Look man, not trying to be mean or anything here...

But if I have to invest some money to date a 24 years old, VS dating a woman my age for free... I would chose to spoil a 24 years old with purses, trips and shit. Not that I have to, but if I had to, yeah, absolutely.

Dating one of these women who are FINALLY READY doesn't worth it man.

Plus, lots of them come with children already.

Yeah, that's a hard pass.

Man there is a reasson why +30 years old women are easy, and it's not because they are in high demand.

The exception being a very small subset of women who married or got in relationships really young and divorced or broke up at like 30-33?

I've met a few of those, these gals are lovely. Just awesome, all around I mean, enough for a few wrinkles to make no damn difference in their overall vallue.

But this is a small, small, very small minority of women, a pool that seems to be shrinking day by day.

Ginko_Bunny · 2024-02-29T18:57:48+00:00

Agreed. I met my husband and we started dating when I was 18 and he was 26. I’m now 22 and my brain is developing and it doesn’t seem like we’re on the same level at all, it feels like the gap is growing.

A_E_G · 2024-02-29T16:16:23+00:00

Posted by a “purple pill woman”. Ignore the obvious rage bait….

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-02-29T16:02:32+00:00

Your forgetting, they go after younger woman so they can prey on their naivety. They don’t want them having experience or even a straight head cause then she won’t put up with his shit and realise she can leave. They don’t think of woman as people.

It’s the one thing all domestic abuse cases have in common, big age gaps

DizzyServe · 2024-02-29T15:36:40+00:00

Depends on how much younger tbh and it goes for both genders. If you are dating a person with a fully developed frontal lobe it’s fine imo. If you’re getting yourself into a relationship with a teen (below 21) while having 10+ years on them, you’re just setting yourself up for misery lmao

bluepvtstorm · 2024-02-29T16:46:29+00:00

Here’s my take, if you are a late bloomer then date women in your age bracket. They generally have a lot more empathy about how circumstances can happen because life will continue to life.

An age appropriate can understand the complexity of trying to make a living, keep a roof over your head and figure out this adulting crap.

Here’s how to approach it though. Hey I am not that good experienced in this relationship stuff so I am probably going to need a lot of verbal communication.

Possible pitfalls- There may be things you want to try sexually that she may not want to try. Valid for both of you. If it is something that could possibly hurt then it’s a hard no at that point. If it’s something that she had an unpleasant experience with then you discuss what made it unpleasant and why you would like to try it. No coercion but just open communication about what it represents to you. If still a no then ask if it can be revisited. This may be the part where there could be a total breakdown but here’s where there could be rewards. There are probably a lot of things that she has wanted to try but never opened up to try because of lack of trust in the past. I promise you, most women have dirty things that they haven’t explored yet. By being open and transparent about your interests and allowing free flowing communication, you may get all the really good things that no one else knew was there.

Yes I know some of you are going to say well GigaChad already got all the benefits why should I wait for them. First thing, he didn’t. She didn’t trust him enough. Second, there is a lot of deprogramming that happens once women leave a certain age bracket where they seek sexual fulfillment for themselves and not faking for their partners. This is the sweet spot. This is the part where you both get to experiment and experience brand new things together.

One thing that is another land mine is friend groups. If they have been around forever, ask for a download before you meet them. Ask her directly how much she has told them about you so you know what you are walking into when you meet them.

You don’t have to believe me but I have a really big friend group full of some late bloomers to a lot of different things. Yes they are doing well.

6teeee9 · 2024-03-01T07:59:12+00:00

I don’t know what a late bloomer man is but I’m proud to say as an 18F you wouldn’t catch me DEAD with a man over 22.

Critical_Corner_1859 · 2024-02-29T17:48:23+00:00

If you're insanely attractive as a man it works. Otherwise, no, usually

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Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-02-29T17:15:25+00:00

Dating and relationship have very low skill floor, so you can catch up very fast. And if relationships fail then you'll get at least some experience out of that.

raldabos · 2024-02-29T19:09:25+00:00

Or, hear me out guys, you do what you want and enjoy life.

Geriatric-Panda73638 · 2024-02-29T23:58:34+00:00

No, I think I’ll continue doing so.

Title	Late bloomer men should absolutely not date younger women
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	0
Comments	423
Date	February 29, 2024 3:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b32uji/late_bloomer_men_should_absolutely_not_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/late-bloomer-men-should-absolutely-not-date.1246749 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246749

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