Why are both players & Incels so vilified?

goatismycopilot · 2022-02-19T16:01:02+00:00

I do not give much thought to either unless I am here on PPD.

DivineDaedra · 2022-02-19T15:34:51+00:00

Both are generally considered sexist.

Incels because most of the ones you see posting anywhere are up front about hating or at least resenting women.

Players because viewing a partner as replaceable is objectifying.

That’s certainly not all there is to either group and there are a wide variety of individuals belonging to each one so I’m specifically referring to the overall perception of the generalized groups.

That’s my perspective at least.

Edit: wording.

KikiYuyu · 2022-02-19T20:40:20+00:00

why attempt to shame men for 1 exercising options or 2 not having any options, like lol pick

Well no wonder you're asking this question, if this is what you think it comes down to.

A player, is a basically manwhore. He doesn't make attachments, he just sleeps around. Lots of the times they will have tried and true methods of getting what they want, meaning they basically treat women like a puzzlebox they have to open and get the prize. It takes a level of detachment to be a player, and that disturbs me. Ew gross. So what if he's "exercising options", as you put it? Everyone finds certain things gross, and this is what I find gross. It's also a lifestyle that is utterly alien to me, and it is completely antithetical to what I want in a relationship. I would never want to be with a man who has engaged with women in this way, because I would honestly never be able to trust their intentions with me.

Incels, for the most part I pity them. I know what it's like to feel like you're going to die alone and unloved, it's not fun. Self-hate is powerful. Most of them are severely mentally ill. Obviously it doesn't excuse the actions some of them take. Some of them are also just the exact stereotype people make them out to be with zero sympathetic qualities at all. But what puts me off about all of them equally is how they view me and all other women. Their views and understandings are so horrifically warped. They live in a hell of their own making, and most of them don't actually want to get better because it's easier to believe your suffering is completely out of your control and someone else's fault.

So basically, both players and incels have views on women that I cannot vibe with. The things they want out of a relationship are not what I want. My mental wellbeing would be in jeopardy with either of them.

666lucy6 · 2022-02-19T15:39:25+00:00

I choose C, virgin men who are waiting by choice

tempaccc2022 · 2022-02-19T16:32:26+00:00

players usually have to resort to rp tactics to fuck women. guys that make their intentions clear and hookup without manipulation don't have any bad stigma.

M_LaSalle · 2022-02-20T15:52:49+00:00

Players are vilified by men because they get more than the me, making them more successful.

They are vilified by women who fail to snag them.

Incels are vilified by men because they get nothing, making them less successful than the men and therefore failures

They are vilified by women because no woman wants them, meaning no other woman wants them, meaning they are absolutely unwanted, and thus failures.

Incels and Players both operate at a vastly different level of success than the rest of us. They are either more or less successful than most people, and will be hated and /or resented whichever is the case.

It's human nature. We hate the Other. The Player and the Incel. They are a different level from us, and we hates them, we hates them forever.

Stole the Precious, they did.

The Player is hated for his success, the Incel for his failure.

whiskey_priest_fell · 2022-02-19T16:42:40+00:00

Because neither group fits into cultural norms and expectations of a monogamous couple taking care of each other. And people LOVE hating on groups that aren't "normal."

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2022-02-19T15:36:52+00:00

Incels are shamed and ridiculed not for being virgins or for not having any options. They're shamed and mocked for their beliefs, hatred to women, crab mentality etc.

Players are shamed not for having options, but for cheating, lying and manipulating women to have sex with them.

I'm not sure what's hard to understand here.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-02-19T15:46:37+00:00

Both groups don’t respect women, that’s the main issue,

Well they don’t treat women the way women want to be treated. Respect or not is debatable.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-02-19T16:18:57+00:00

Player: promiscuous man who isn't nice to women. Incel: non-promiscuous man who isn't nice to women. You don't tend to get these labels if you are nice to women.

modidlee · 2022-02-19T19:44:04+00:00

Because neither of them give women what they want

tempaccc2022 · 2022-02-19T16:47:55+00:00

incels are vilified and were chased off reddit, somehow redditors think this means they will just disappear when all they really did was push them off into other spaces. The number of incels continues to increase and its easy just to vilify them without addressing the real reason as to the increase of men feeling this way.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-02-19T15:29:52+00:00

Because les reditorettes can't get Chads but consider themselves too good for their looks/valuematches.

neetykeeno · 2022-02-19T18:24:18+00:00

Players are like that annoying mosquito in your room at night... always hanging round waiting for you to be distracted enough not to notice what they are about. Inkwells are like black mould on your bathroom ceiling...a faffing great hassle to deal with, potentially a threat and once they have been around they will always come back.

I can hate mosquitos and black mould.

icanchi · 2022-02-20T00:48:36+00:00

Because both are in opposite poles of the same spectrum..

Players only use the big amount of women they are involved. They don't care who are they with as long as they are in there.

Simps will degrade themselves for attention. No matter who, they only want a pinch of attention.

And both are a huge red flag. Do you even want a person who needs extreme validation from a large amount of people be with you? Do you even want a person who cannot set boundaries be with you?

sew1tseams · 2022-02-20T12:24:10+00:00

Neither of them are seeing women as people- just as something to satisfy their needs

ExtremeNihilism · 2022-02-20T23:56:22+00:00

Incels are men that talk about women the way women talk about men

Dramatic-Emu-1196 · 2022-05-03T23:41:06+00:00

shame is the number one tactic women use, that's why you should never ever give a shit about what they talk about

josh_e_pants · 2022-02-19T18:28:12+00:00

They both pose threats to women, albeit very different ones

Exciting_Phase_1665 · 2022-02-19T20:59:45+00:00

Both are misogynists

slavicslothe · 2022-02-19T16:31:38+00:00

I think it’s because they are demonstrably terrible people who dehumanize women. Especially incels.

wtknight · 2022-02-19T16:31:03+00:00

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Don_Antonio_S · 2022-02-19T15:36:07+00:00

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Orange_Paisley · 2022-02-19T16:00:41+00:00

Players are vilified because they pump and dump women. Incels are vilified because they post foul things on the internet, threaten suicide or violence, and occasionally shoot up a school.

blatant-stranger · 2022-02-19T17:29:40+00:00

Incels simultaneously want women in their beds while hating women and condemning them for not being there. They view sex as something that’s owed to them, and don’t often view women as people. Players are horrible, because they’re disloyal and also view women as a thing to accumulate. I actually don’t condemn men for not having any options. It’s just the ones who are horrible as a consequence that I have no sympathy for.

SavageAnalFissure · 2022-02-19T18:29:00+00:00

I mean incels as a group are now related to actual school shooters and killers/extremists. Literally some of the worst scum. How could they NOT be seen as villainous at this point ? It’s pretty much an outright slur to be called one.. that is their status at this point . They are beyond trash

2022-02-19T20:31:15+00:00

Well, you came on here to ask women why... We're now telling you and you're rejecting it because.... apparently you know better?! Way to self-own. <shocked Pikachu face>

totalwpierdol · 2022-02-20T06:57:20+00:00

Here's what society expects from men:

If a guy is attractive, he should find a woman, marry her, be a nice loving husband, meet her every need and be like puppy who jumps around her.

If a guy is unattractive, he should sit in a corner and cry quietly instead of complaining about his situation or even worse - changing it. An incel is expected to not disturb cool kids having fun.

ThatgodHermes · 2022-02-19T18:17:12+00:00

I’m a dude here to offer another perspective. Incels need therapy for whatever mommy issues dudes have. They’re hateful, resentful and blame everyone and society for their issues. They’re more than misogynistic, they’re entitled, violent and spiteful. They shouldn’t be anywhere near a potential partner until they work through their issues- and there the vicious cycle turns.

I don’t thinks players are truly vilified? Or else they wouldn’t be players. I think people just realistically understand you don’t want to emotionally invest in someone that has no plans on doing so for you.

chromie96 · 2022-02-19T19:04:00+00:00

I'm okay with players and I'm okay with incels. I will say that if you have to ask why incels are so vilified then you've been living with your head under a rock. There is a loud and scary subset of incels that believe, think, and do some pretty horrific things

nemma88 · 2022-02-19T21:01:02+00:00

I don't think players are hated that much as a group, mostly weary with some individuals catching more heat, but generally because they've hurt women somehow. Some men hate them because they're not them or hold different values

Incels are like monkeys of the internet that are just flinging their shit everywhere. They travel in packs making sure everyone knows they hate women and the men that don't hate women. Incels reach more people through their shit slinging that never mentally matured past 4chan and are disliked for covering everything in shit.

sarkington · 2022-02-19T22:24:44+00:00

Liars/users and haters, in a nutshell

spacemanofthezone · 2022-02-20T01:01:09+00:00

Well incels would be players if they could, but lack in the looks department.

Both group are despised because they lack empathy.

2022-02-20T09:46:57+00:00

Why are extreme heat and extreme cold both considered uncomfortable?

2022-02-20T11:24:47+00:00

partly because the sex obsession of this decade is performative and exeggrated based on social shaming

Ranziel · 2022-02-20T14:41:38+00:00

Wait, players are vilified? Since when?

Cupcakelover1985 · 2022-02-20T16:49:45+00:00

Because they seek out women to bother them for whatever reason. Players to get sex, and incels to take back some power by trolling. They’re free to do what they do but women are also free to hate them. What’s the issue?

masochisticanalwhore · 2022-02-22T15:55:21+00:00

Players are deceitful. Incels are repulsive in pretty much every conceivable way.

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-02-19T19:03:08+00:00

Society worships women. Players and incels don't worship women (incels actually kind of do worship women, but that's an argument for another time). Therefore, society hates players and incels for not supplicating to the female imperative.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-02-20T01:40:49+00:00

Being a player or a fuckboy as a guy isn't a bad thing even though women virtue signal that it is. Despite what women say here, most women aren't turned off by guys with high body counts, they are mostly intrigued because sexual experience =good sex to women. There's honestly no downside to being a player or fuckboy.

DontwantaFairOne · 2022-02-20T02:40:07+00:00

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sweetsauce007 · 2022-02-19T17:09:58+00:00

Both hate women

Selkie-Princess · 2022-02-19T18:57:52+00:00

They both dehumanize women and treat sex as something they’re entitled to. Players are often just successful/attractive incels. Players bear women just as much ill will and hold them in similarly poor esteem as incels do.

_-One4All-_ · 2022-02-19T19:13:39+00:00

Men in general are vilified. Western modern culture vilifies masculinity and calls it toxic. It will be considered toxic until war world 3 comes around and all the women are sobbing that they are just women and are scared of dying in a puddle of their own blood

WorldController · 2022-02-19T15:49:48+00:00

If you understand the proper definition of those things, it makes perfect sense.

A player is a man who acquires sex using duplicity. He literally 'plays'. people. The dislike is not rooted in him being promiscuous, it's rooted in how he lies and cheats with women.

People dislike the incel rhetoric as it's presented on line. It's a misogynistic ideology that people hate. Lonely men in real life who do not spout this rhetoric are not met with hatred.

Competitive_Pen2282 · 2022-02-19T15:39:55+00:00

Players likely will play with your feelings and cause you emotional damage.

Incels might get a gun and kill you.

Would be weird if they both weren't vilified.

everythingelseisfull · 2022-02-19T23:43:47+00:00

However else they dress it up, many women struggle to accept the options for relationships are more limited than options for sex. They hate players because he reminds them that she can only get that type of men for sex. They hate incels, because they feel entitled to sex without becoming the person that the women feel entitled to.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-02-20T03:02:48+00:00

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wtknight · 2022-02-19T16:55:33+00:00

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Emergency-Regret6974 · 2022-02-19T18:19:02+00:00

Why do men ask stupid questions?

Incels are well known because of a string of murders.

Players literally play games within relationships that cause stress and heartbreak. You can be a woman and a player.

Grow up.

WretchdFlesh_Redeemd · 2022-02-19T18:05:17+00:00

Players basically ruin women psychologically and incels/cucks enabled whore-like behavior in women.

SupermarketFun21 · 2022-02-19T18:42:31+00:00

The term "incel" is ambiguous. Technically, it's an abbreviation for "involuntary celibate," which I'm pretty sure most guys have been at some stretch of their life. But people associate it with members of a rather unlikable online fringe community going by the same name. That's where the confusion may lie; people vilifying incels are referring to the community, whereas you may just be thinking of merely what the abbreviation stands for.

lavishrabbit6009 · 2022-02-19T20:33:50+00:00

Any identification, whether it is incel, RP, feminism, MRA, MGTOW, hell even FDS, what always happens is the most vocal and most projecting personalities are usually the most ignorant, and misrepresent the movement they identify with because their personality is that of ignorance and obnoxiousness.

EDIT

I was supposed to continue, but anyways:

So when people shit on those demographics, they are thinking about the worst examples. If you put two polarized ideologies, depending on the two people who were brought, it can end in civil discussion or an ad-hominem, libel shit-slinging fest.

CFinCanada · 2022-02-19T15:33:17+00:00

Incels are misogynists so that's why we don't like those, not their sexlessness. Their sexlessness is just an easy target because they tend to deserve it.

And as for players, they aren't respected for the same reason that people who gorge on 5,000 calories a day aren't. If you behave like a feral ape, you will be looked at such.

It's not rocket science.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-02-19T15:44:44+00:00

Nobody shames incels for not having options, people shame incels for thinking they're entitled to women and being sexist.

And nobody shames players for exercising their options, people shame them for lying and trying to manipulate women

Oli_love90 · 2022-02-19T17:49:19+00:00

Both groups seem to be dishonest and disrespectful.

Players use shitty, dishonest tactics to try to get women.

Incels think negatively of women and if they could would use the same tactics on women as players.

Both dehumanize and belittle women.

Traditional_Job2467 · 2022-02-19T23:57:50+00:00

Despite reddit has a toxic section of misandrist women called FDS who act like femincel, inspin spinsters

ScarieltheMudmaid · 2022-02-20T01:50:59+00:00

Players can be bad for emotional health which gunk's up the dating system. Lots of women don't mind fucking with another ho, it just needs to be in the level. To me a player isn't just someone that gets laid a lot, it's someone that has to lie and be shady to do it. I've never met anyone that considered himself an incel that was nice to me as a human much less a woman, but I've met two who became fairly serious danger to me directly.

Tl:Dr real life experience and fallout

Goddess_Iris_ · 2022-02-20T02:28:18+00:00

Not every man is a player or an incel. Not everything is so black and white, there's a huge gray area in between a "player" and an "incel". And every single woman has a preference at a different level on that spectrum. Both are vilified bc both are extremes; therefore, everyone has extreme opinions about them.

lkfb94 · 2022-02-20T10:58:33+00:00

Both are degenerates.

What are you achieving by fucking around? Yeah, good for you, you’re proving yourself to yourself. I bet your sex is weird and repulsive.

You get pleasure from it and it’s meaningless and that’s ok?

NO.

Wake up.

Incels. They need to grow up.

John___Coyote · 2022-02-19T19:45:40+00:00

Consent and respect

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2022-02-19T20:32:32+00:00

I'd like to see that statistic verified

FatPam007 · 2022-02-20T02:11:33+00:00

Players dont hate women. They LOVE women. That's why they have many. Because they love them and treat them in a flirty sexy and nice way. Player men see women as individuals. They just simply love women. And they love many women. They're usually not resentful towards women because they can get many.

Incels are the total opposite of this. Of course you'd hate them.

Heysaucemikehere · 2022-02-20T02:54:38+00:00

I think for most, it’s not incels not having the option that makes people upset, it’s the mindset they have. That every (?) woman is bad. I’ve never met someone who cares if someone’s celibate, but I meet a lot of people who don’t like sexism.

D00d00f4c3 · 2022-02-20T05:22:28+00:00

Probably like how a moderate politician can vilify extreme leftists and right…ists (righties? Wtf is the analogous word to “leftist?”).

In reality both extremes actually have something in common: they seem to view women as all the same. One is trying cold call marketing for YouTube views and the other guy thinks that rejection from 7 girls in a row means all girls will reject him.

“Manlet” here, “short king,” whatever ya wanna call a 5’7 guy. I don’t agree with incels because being short is a disadvantage, sure, but it’s one attribute of many that we are all judged on, and a short guy may have plenty of advantages in many areas except his height.

And players? Eh I don’t care but if you’re talking those YouTube pickup artists I think they often cannot read body language. It’s cringey. But I watch that type of shit to laugh at Because young me used to watch those guys and attempt the same approaches 😂

Many years of rejection later (with a few of success), I’ve come out the other end married. Saw a dude a couple inches shorter than me today with a hot wife and young af kids. So like. Idk. I don’t hate incels or players but disagree with both in various ways

TakeTheMikki · 2022-02-20T06:09:38+00:00

Because neither end of the spectrum seems to have much respect for women as individuals. Nor do they treat women how they want be treated or listen to their wants and needs. Obviously the issues are different but both are undesirable.

juicyjuicery · 2022-02-20T06:31:08+00:00

You’re asking why we don’t like community dick and misogynists? Because men and people aren’t binary - we can dislike more than one thing (shocker!)

StoopidISFJwastaken · 2022-02-20T10:59:32+00:00

No one wants to laugh at incels and their loneliness. At the end of the day, people treat you how you treat yourself.

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-20T20:19:40+00:00

Players take of people. Incels kill people.

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2022-02-21T17:57:42+00:00

Lmao they’re both sexist assholes. You can be neither a player nor an incel, in fact like half of people are neither

pussy_destroyyer · 2022-05-02T09:58:14+00:00

I think it’s less about their actions but rather the mindset some of them have. In my opinion there’s nothing wrong with either but I’ve made some bad experiences so I’m rather cautious. In my experience a lot of incels ,for example, deal with their frustration by seeing women as evil and/or less worthy than men. Sometimes these frustrations will spiral into extremist views and hostility towards women in general. Other than that there’s obviously nothing wrong with men who struggle with finding a partner. Same with players, there’s nothing wrong with them as long as they don’t see women as less. From what I’ve seen some of them see women as more of a commodity and not exactly as human beings but I wouldn’t say that that’s the majority. Bottom line: nothing wrong with either as long as they treat women with respect.

Title	Why are both players & Incels so vilified?
Author	DontwantaFairOne
Upvotes	74
Comments	483
Date	February 19, 2022 3:14 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/swc90v/why_are_both_players_incels_so_vilified/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-both-players-incels-so-vilified.1102463 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102463

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