Women don’t want men to even the playing field by actively cultivating back up options since it ruins their leverage

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-04-29T16:05:57+00:00

So it's okay as long a you as the man have the options 🤔 . People who like a individual want be the chosen one. That's the point of a relationship. Knowing despite all possible options one person has chosen you and still chooses you everyday. If you can't or haven't felt that kind attachment to another individual you are just floating around aimlessly protecting your feelers. Your barriers are hindering you from actually enjoying life . Keeping those walls up gets tiring overtime.

dietwindows · 2022-04-29T14:38:07+00:00

If you have a safety net, then falling becomes an option, and you're more likely to do it.

Don't be in a relationship with someone where you feel the need to have an exit strategy. Burn your bridges or you'll self-sabotauge the things you have.

If the bridge isn't worth burning, then you're wasting time with the person you're seeing.

Mondholm · 2022-04-29T15:12:15+00:00

Why are you planing your life like your relationship is gonna fail?

69ingbasedcoomer420 · 2022-04-29T19:23:15+00:00

Literally none of the women here are responding to the actual point you’re making. Just spouting some BS about self fulfilling prophecy and trying to shame you instead of any sort of logical counter. Just hilarious.

briiiana1122 · 2022-04-29T15:47:36+00:00

You guys think about relationships in the wildest ways. What if women don’t want you to have backups because having backup people is a shitty way to behave regardless of gender?

Women who do this suck, also. It’s got nothing to do with an even playing field.

Omg every response.

The never ending same comment over and over that Women can find someone to have sex with more easily than me. No shit. We’ve been over this 1000 times. It’s know and doesn’t mean she’s got a bunch of side guys during your whole relationship.
“All women blah blah blah” yes, we know. Your circle jerk told you all women behave in a certain way and therefore it’s truth. Don’t worry about going outside and actually meeting and dating someone, just keep on circle jerking. It seems to be going well for you.

AreJewOkay · 2022-04-29T15:45:31+00:00

Weird take here. As a man you should be maximizing your self worth throughout your relationship and never stop. Workout, eat right, maintain a large social circle.

Men who only hang out with their SO and have no friends might have this problem but if you maintain your life and good practices you won’t. There’s no need to doom your relationship by cultivating other options. If you put work into yourself constantly then if you are dumped you will have no issue finding someone else.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-04-29T14:38:32+00:00

Or...if you're in a relationship and already pondering backup options, you should probably break up anyway because it seems like you'd rather be with them.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-04-29T14:33:03+00:00

why would women need to be in denial to not want their partners setting up their next option during the relationship?

baresquad · 2022-04-29T14:46:15+00:00

Who’s writing all these rules on how men act? Because evening the playing field is just not shit I really care about nor do I ever hear any of my friends actively worrying about this stuff

If my relationship is ending, getting into another one with someone else is literally the last thing on my mind

Sure we might wanna go and have sex with someone else but we don’t have to play the field for rebounds while we’re in the relationship, that’s silly. You guys are having nonsensical battles with your partners over things that don’t matter

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-04-29T14:51:04+00:00

Is this how men justify spinning plates rather than committing to one woman?

2022-04-29T17:04:43+00:00

So you want a free pass to monkey branch?

2022-04-29T17:45:23+00:00

This one’s tricky because there’s two sides to consider here.

First, If the woman is taking that much advantage of her life, it will be obvious and will be a red flag before the second date, if you’re a well-put-together man.

Second, the reason women don’t like guys having a “back up plan” is because it makes them feel beyond insecure about how important they really are in the relationship. Because once you know you’re “disposable”, it can leave you with feelings of shame, guilt and blame, “does he really love me?”, and it’s not fair to put that on her, just like it’s not fair for her to put that on you.

Third, I think you’re overestimating the amount of women who blatantly take advantage of their situations like this. Yeah there’s a handful of pieces of work out there, but they’re not in any way close to the majority. Most women are decent, honest people and just want the same general relationship guys do.

alexaxl · 2022-04-30T02:08:18+00:00

They know, whether they acknowledge within or admit externally is up in the air.

But their problem is not lack of abundance of men, but females tend to date upwards, since they want to climb the hierarchy and maximize that

they have also realized at some level - whether they take that as an acknowledged lesson & adapt or keep chasing the unachieveable ideal - that it’s hard to lock down the top guys who are in demand by the largest % of females
Female chase of the ideal and permanent discontent is what largely drives the entire market of male competition
add to it - modern technology - unlimited exponential access for attention / validation & new leads and pipelines of simps & guys... self propagating instability
cause in lack of reliable committed partners everyone who can Multi task is and will tend do so

Until values change

ie stable compatible realistic equations and contentment with acceptance of life challenges and cons is realized by waterfall chasers.. market remains in perpetual flux of discontent

As the TLC song goes..

Don’t go chasin waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you used to..

I know you gonna.. have it.. etc.

Copy paste:

Don't go chasing waterfalls Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all But I think you're moving too fast

(Rest just replace He with She) .. and the wall

Little precious has a natural obsession for temptation
But he just can't see
She give him loving that his body can't handle. But all he can say is, "Baby, it's good to me" One day he goes and takes a glimpse in the mirror But he doesn't recognize his own face His health is fading and he doesn't know why Three letters took him to his final resting place Y'all don't hear me

Entire song talks about the male ghetto thug culture chasing the bling via crime

Apply it to females now.. same lessons in diff facets.

Root of all misery is incessant desire - Buddha.

ffandyy · 2022-04-29T21:17:27+00:00

God there are some super cringe attitudes towards women in this sub

kittenated · 2022-04-29T14:39:11+00:00

Why do you need to "even the playing field" in the first place?

What's the goal?

So everyone has a rebound the second one relationship breaks up? Not the healthiest way to go about life.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-04-29T15:38:01+00:00

Yes, we do not want men to cheat on us. Film at 11.

DonQOnIce · 2022-04-29T14:53:30+00:00

A new angle for cheating apologism.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-04-29T14:51:08+00:00

You're assuming women want to "hop on a new dick" right away after a breakup. Or that they can/want to desire more than one guy at once. It doesn't work like that for all of us.

If you have options you're already not taking your relationship seriously. I get the psychological reassurance you're still desirable, I really do, but active options are detrimental. Can lead to a cycle where you idealize your backup partner and cheat with them, then break up with the girlfriend/boyfriend, only to find out your backup's a lot more annoying; find a new backup, cheat, breakup; wash, rinse, repeat. Perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-04-29T15:35:19+00:00

Who exactly is fucking all these women? And if women are getting sex so easily and in such quantities with men, then wouldn't men by extension get sex just easily?

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-04-29T16:13:03+00:00

Lol All I see is rationalizations for sleazy behavior. I commented on a previous question about women having “backup men,” and almost all the women said they did not and never had. I said I had before, but in those relationships, something was very wrong (either I wasn’t in love or they made me feel insecure). If you feel the need for a backup, the relationship is already over imo. “Hopping on the next thing” after a breakup might feel better in the moment, but it’s not going to fix the pain and is just using someone. It always takes time to heal and find someone else, whether you’re male or female.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-04-29T19:45:41+00:00

Even men who initiates the break up won’t be able to hop on to the next thing as fast as a woman who was blindsided can.

That's why you branch swing, my dude.

You start dating the new girl before you break up with the former. Works like a charm.

mrhealthypips33 · 2022-04-29T23:37:33+00:00

Who ever has the most options always holds the most leverage. This is why women want the top men of the pecking order; they hold the most leverage in thee entire world. Women want a chief, a warrior, a hunter. Men want a beautiful fertile woman; a gardener. The more primal of a lens we take the easier it is to understand our sexual drives, needs & reasonings. The concrete jungle has caused a lot of distortion in the human condition. Modernism is a highly infectious virus & traditionalism is its simple / timeless cure.

Andgelyo · 2022-05-06T02:16:30+00:00

I 100% agree with this post, having the ability to “keep your options open” and putting other women’s resumes in the back is your insurance.

Just like women have a “In case of emergency break glass for dick ” , we have a “in case of emergency break glass for pussy”.

Fortunately my girlfriend doesn’t get outta line too often.

2022-04-29T14:46:19+00:00

Women don't realize that men have harder time finding a new sexual partner. Instead of having those options it is better for the relationship if the woman implicitly knows the man has options.

sarkington · 2022-04-29T15:08:34+00:00

“A man is as faithful as his options”

— a famous man

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2022-04-29T17:57:33+00:00

PPD Woman: “Why do you need options?!? Learn to be alone! You won’t die without sex!”

Same PPD Woman: Jumps on a new “rebound” dick within 72 hours of a breakup because sex is so “unimportant”

Women are so absolutely blind when it comes to the insane advantage and leverage they have in dating and sex that they can’t even fathom things like dry spells measured in months or years.

In their mind it’s “no big deal! sure if you want to have meaningless sex after a break up, just go find a partner! Works for me! Teehee”

Women never, ever stop and think about the sheer amount of work and pain a man has to go to in order to have anything resembling “options”. It’s such a given for them it doesn’t even register as something with value much less something that one would need to work for.

All you need to do is look at suicide statistics post break up to understand why a man having and maintaining options at all times is so very very important.

Women are never single even when they choose to be. A booster dick is just a swipe away at all times for them and they won’t hesitate to use it.

Ask yourself honestly, of all the women you’ve known, how many go fuck some dude to feel better when they are teh sads after a break up so they can “feel sexy and wanted again”

Now how many men try and fail to do that for months on end while their self worth and confidence sink further down the drain.

Empathy: it’s not just for women anymore

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-04-29T14:56:00+00:00

This is like that Patrice O'Neal thing. Like I don't need to actually have a side option, but as long as I know I could pull a woman whenever I wanted to (and my wife knows that); that's enough leverage for me.

E-2-butene · 2022-04-29T14:41:26+00:00

Women don’t even have to actively cultivate back up options

They don’t have to, but boy, do they ever.

PirateDocBrown · 2022-04-29T15:36:34+00:00

Women want men with options.

They just don't want to be treated as optional.

ClaraBow01 · 2022-04-29T16:23:09+00:00

Really cringe post, but it was a good laugh. Please do research outside of incel forums and porn before you embarrass yourself again.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-04-29T14:59:39+00:00

It is best for the man in a relationship, maybe not to have a direct backup option but to have options in general, like you said women get those options thrown at them left and right, as a man let a woman find out that she's pretty much your only option and see how she treats you lol, women don't want to be with guys that other women don't want at least to some extent

Meat_Mockasin · 2022-04-29T16:47:26+00:00

You forget that women constantly have to vet men to sort out guys who might be rapists. I wish it was as simple but it really isn't, men made it harder for us to be impulsive in that regard. And where are all these simps ready to wine and dine me? Your view of what it's like to be a woman comes from other men, not women.

bees-and-stuff · 2022-04-29T16:43:25+00:00

I’m just in awe of how easy you think it is for the average woman to get laid lmao

mamadeau · 2022-04-29T20:38:31+00:00

A woman having sex with another man after a breakup does not mean she got over the previous guy. The OP is assuming women move on easier post breakup because they can supposedly find someone to sleep with them easier than a man can. This is illogical because having sex with someone else does not mean you got over your ex or that you will get over your ex. Sleeping with multiple people does not mean you've "won" at the dating game.

Most women understand that a man offering to sleep with them is not a compliment or the end goal. Sex is only a piece of the relationship, but it's not the be-all/end-all. And nine times out of ten, the men who want to sleep with us are not someone we're attracted to anyways. Also, women are less likely to sleep with a man just because it was offered. We're human beings, not animals. We have feelings, we think, we reason, we love.

The OP is assuming women move on easier post breakup. I don't believe that is the case. If you're sleeping with someone else shortly after a breakup, it's usually an indication of trying to bury the pain/hurt of being separated from the ex, or avoid the fear of being alone. If someone (man or woman) behaves like that immediately post-breakup, it is nothing to envy. To quote Mr. T: "I pity the fool!"

Federal_Bat_5355 · 2022-04-29T21:16:50+00:00

women dont want leverage women want partners - same as men. this post is weird and sorta delusional.

ChosenbyTheGods · 2022-04-29T16:39:59+00:00

Peak desperation. Learn to be alone

goatismycopilot · 2022-04-29T15:23:58+00:00

No auto mod?

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-04-29T15:30:35+00:00

I have no issue with men ‘evening the playing field’ but I do have an issue with men ‘gaming’ women. Modern dating filled with people with selfish intentions when dating has always been about trying to find a partner. At the very least, if you are just trying to get fed or just get sex, be honest. People who aren’t honest and ‘game’ other people only lead to people having less trust and we see an increasing amount of men and women feeling dissatisfied by modern dating. It helps no one.

Feel free to seek what you want and improve your life, but do it honestly wether male or female.

VeliVoy · 2022-04-29T15:31:36+00:00

Seen it up close and this fella speaking nothing but facts

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-04-29T15:51:57+00:00

If your in a relationship then concentrate on that, men and women. If you feel the need to look else where then just leave they are not the one for you

kartu3 · 2022-04-29T15:55:56+00:00

That only applies to BANG BANG, mkay?

Want LTR? Suddenly, it feels harder than for men.

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decoy88 · 2022-04-29T16:53:01+00:00

Okay. Clearly you have some insecurity issues when it comes to approaching relationships. You should work on that.

But let’s attack it from a purely objective level. It’s inefficient.

Why? Cultivation of “backups” requires effort and maintenance of attraction to women outside the relationship. This takes away from the time and effort resource from the main relationship, also a man would need to dangle the carrot of ‘maybe’ in front of these extra women for an extended and undisclosed amount of time.

Not only would maintaining attraction from women you aren’t actually with take from time effort resources, it increases the chances of your plan being exposed to your main relationship. Therefore keeping backups would actually BE THE CAUSE of the main relationships failing.

It’s dumb dumb either way.

Morrigan66 · 2022-04-29T17:39:19+00:00

I guess men should stop orbiting around women and simping over them if they want to be on an even playing feild.

Catball-Fun · 2022-04-29T17:44:51+00:00

There a difference between women being capable of getting easy sex and wanting to do so. Suppose I sell you a lifetime provision of next day pizza for a dollar a month. Easy to get but would you gmhire this service?

LotBuilder · 2022-04-29T18:04:07+00:00

I don’t think anyone in a relationship wants the other person cultivating back up options. This is a silly post

yayayubsea · 2022-04-29T18:14:30+00:00

You don't want meaningful relationships if this is how you think. no judgment though

lawerless · 2022-04-29T18:28:37+00:00

who is constantly offering women dick and can i have some please,

jxjkskkk · 2022-04-29T18:40:19+00:00

Women are the gatekeepers of sex while men are the gatekeepers of commitment. I completely agree with your sentiment but the flip side is these girls will have a harder and harder time maintaining a quality relationship with an actual high value man over time. Likewise men who display beta traits (wanting to commit and support every girl) will have a difficult time getting sex from women. There’s definitely two sides to the coin, I’ve witnessed it myself as someone who used to be very beta and now has experience with both low and high value women.

doggiedoc2004 · 2022-04-29T19:23:06+00:00

I feel sorry for you. You are making a big mistake assuming a women (or even a man) wants to jump right back into sex immediately after a break up. A quality woman (or man) in a heart felt relationship will not be worrying or even thinking about back ups. If you approach your relationships like this it will be hard for you to ever have a meaningful relationship. Sure most relationships fail. But some are long lasting and fulfilling. Best for you to follow the men going your own way (or female equivalent) and leave those of us who want to connect and be exclusive emotionally and physically with our partners alone.

k_aevitas · 2022-04-29T19:59:04+00:00

So if some smelly fat mentalcase pervert offers you dick you are going to take it ? Just because dick is offered doesn't mean all women get top quality sausage...wtf

DXBrigade · 2022-04-29T20:26:15+00:00

How can one have backup options without cheating though? Sounds douchey to me.

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-04-29T22:49:37+00:00

Can’t ride two horses w one ass. 🤷‍♀️

Men only have so much time and energy and given that even when they do love me they find it hard to give me enough emotional connection, I don’t trust any man to be able to juggle women and do it. No point in trying.

Snowbattt · 2022-04-29T23:30:53+00:00

Ehhh, in a way, sex workers kinda do that. They provide men with sex or "the next thing" so to speak.

That is, if the physical pleasure of sex is the only thing you're after.

Supercuate · 2022-04-30T01:53:28+00:00

Plate Theory. Spin all the plates

muhkiim · 2022-04-30T02:17:57+00:00

Keeping "back up" options just seems like an unhealthy thing to do.

As for "Evening the playing field..." Are you just concerned that your potential ex will get more action than you? I'm a bit perplexed about what exactly the point of this is.

On the one hand, if all you're looking for is sex, I'd say you have a pretty good game plan.

But if your goal is to have a serious, long-term relationship built on mutual trust and respect, one in which you both work towards building a life TOGETHER... then this sounds like a pretty awful idea, no matter the person's gender.

I'm building a life with my spouse. Trying to branch out and set up back up options would not only take time and effort away from my relationship, but it could potentially damage it. What's the point of that?

Catherine772023 · 2022-05-09T13:48:24+00:00

I think a man’s best option is to work out so he’s hot (top tier) for his girlfriend or future women. That’s his best backup.

Indubious1 · 2022-04-30T02:08:11+00:00

JFC you need a hobby. Care less about what other people are or aren’t doing, including women. Most of your problems will go away.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-04-29T16:07:20+00:00

Bro, if you are just taking to a girl or just dating then there’s nothing wrong with “having other contacts in your phone” till things get more serious. But as things get mere serious, and if you really like this person, you will naturally be taking more and more with your girl and you’ll stop taking of end up dropping the others all together. Cause all you’ll want to do is spend time with your girl. Dudes need to stop feeling so insecure about “well what if she dumps me?!” Or “what if she moves on quickly?! I gotta have backup!” Live in the moment enjoying being with her. Be secure knowing if you got her to like you then it can happen again.

NinjaSupplyCompany · 2022-04-29T17:45:49+00:00

This post is not about all women. This sounds profoundly personal. OP, this is about your experience and not backed up by anything. In fact it’s the opposite of my experience.

SoftAd6291 · 2022-04-30T06:35:44+00:00

It’s interesting that men think that women have some sort of advantage because they can get get fucked by any random dude. The perspective men vs women have towards sex can be so different. Most women don’t care about all these “options” since most of these dudes that are easy would provide cheap, fast, orgasm-less sex for them. It’s honestly a waste of time and just allowing a man to use you to jerk himself off. Eh.

CsabaRex · 2022-04-30T06:39:05+00:00

You're in a relationship and keep looking for "backups" cause you're afraid the relationship will end, and your ex will find someone faster than you?

You got attachment issues and a real probelm with insecurity my dude.

Go to a therapist

Safe_Comb4210 · 2022-04-30T11:53:33+00:00

I don't think this is healthy.

Title	Women don’t want men to even the playing field by actively cultivating back up options since it ruins their leverage
Author	DerekMorganBAU
Upvotes	114
Comments	461
Date	April 29, 2022 2:19 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uemz2m/women_dont_want_men_to_even_the_playing_field_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-dont-want-men-to-even-the-playing-field-by.1113892 https://theredarchive.com/post/1113892

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