Average guys are made to feel "dirty" for having a sexual desire

wtknight · 2024-08-15T17:02:24+00:00

Post removed due to OP abandonment.

MikeArrow · 2024-08-15T12:48:18+00:00

I do feel like I completely repressed my sexual desires towards women in an unhealthy way, only expressing them in private through watching porn instead. I 'knew' from a very young age that it was inappropriate to express any sort of sexual desire toward anyone, for any reason. I internalized that so completely that even when the first girl I dated approached me and expressed her desire towards me, it was basically impossible for me to reciprocate. I was just... inert. Safe. Nonthreatening.

RayRayGD · 2024-08-15T11:45:10+00:00

Men are made to feel dirty because their sexual attraction is rather indiscriminate. A man’s sexual attraction doesn’t mean much when some men claim that they would have sex with almost any woman. Plus, a lot of men place such an emphasis on sex, that yes a lot of women have been conditioned into believing that that is all men want.

How men express their sexuality devalues their attraction. It also makes their attraction more of a threat.

AMC2Zero · 2024-08-15T11:47:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Good_Result2787 · 2024-08-15T11:40:09+00:00

Your hypothetical is technically true. No one sees someone randomly in a grocery store and wonders about their deep opinions on which beetroots are best. The initial reaction to wanting to go for a date is physical.

It's just that there's nothing wrong with that, so long as the other party is receptive.

WaitingForTheFire · 2024-08-15T15:57:09+00:00

Many problems arise from assuming what is going through another person’s mind. A woman should not assume that a man who approaches her only wants sex.

HOWEVER, the man should be polite and respectful and should take a hint if the woman gives the impression that she is not interested. A significant number of men do not understand the subtleties of approaching a stranger. If a woman feels the slightest bit unsafe or uncomfortable, that can destroy your chances of her agreeing to meet you at another place and time. It takes a while to learn how to make a woman (or any stranger) feel comfortable enough to want to have a spontaneous conversation the first time you cross paths.

I’m not going to claim to be able to read your mind. However, your words indicate feelings of jealousy towards men that are more successful at approaching women. You should ask yourself if you are projecting your feelings onto other people. That is something which can hold a person back from developing a charismatic and outgoing personality. Women are generally quite responsive to confident and charismatic men. Again, I don’t know you, so I’m not going to claim to have all the answers to your concerns.

I can tell you though, that it is healthy and normal to have a sex drive. But if that sex drive causes you to treat people differently than you would otherwise, there can be positive OR negative consequences. Some people may enjoy the extra attention you give them. On the other hand, if you don’t respect other people’s boundaries and treat them with dignity, the consequences are usually negative.

nightsofthesunkissed · 2024-08-15T11:48:39+00:00

"Allow" is an interesting word to choose for in this context, no?

It implies that the desire to do "unholy stuff" does not really come from the woman herself, but the man who is wanting to do those things to her, and she allows him to perform them upon her.

He is acting upon, whereas the woman is the passive receptacle.

No, they're acting nice to get into your pants too.

Eh, another interesting word choice.. "Too" implying nice shy guy and Chad are both just the same this way, lol.

Nothing wrong with wanting to fuck - whether it's a shy guy, Chad, woman, whatever.. Only leading people on is wrong.

RandomRedditRebel · 2024-08-15T11:54:47+00:00

Women have exactly zero desire in weak men. They have many different ways of weeding out weak men so they don't even attempt to make a move at them because it would be annoying and pointless. This is just the very first shit test to see if you have what it takes.

"Ew sex is gross"

"It sure is, wanna grab a coffee tomorrow anyways?"

Congrats, you passed.

Few_Advertising3430 · 2024-08-15T15:05:24+00:00

In my experience nobody is made to feel dirty for having a sexual desire. It’s when they push people when they clearly not interested or express their desire with crude comments.

You can have any desire you want but if somebody says no to coffee don’t tell them you want to f*ck them so good .

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-08-15T13:33:15+00:00

Do women think so-called "Cheds" just happen to have sex by coincidence?

No,, they're hot.

Because they're morally good?

No, they're hot.

No, they're acting nice to get into your pants too.

Sex isn't a nice guy reward. They're hot.

Why is this so hard to comprehend for many people?

Why are you trying rl turn sex into something moral and calling it unholy?

Even_Rub7971 · 2024-08-15T11:34:46+00:00

I don’t want to be a man anymore. I think testosterone is honestly useless in 2024. I have a sex drive for absolutely no reason.

KGmagic52 · 2024-08-15T11:29:46+00:00

They comprehend it. It's just in their nature to put female sexuality on a pedestal and shame male sexuality.

Vlad_The_Great_2 · 2024-08-15T13:42:55+00:00

Peoples opinions on the internet are mostly useless. A lot of people have nothing better to do than have pointless arguments and be judgmental. Go for what you want and be able to take rejection without getting upset.

Independent-Key4328 · 2024-08-15T16:48:02+00:00

The age-old struggle between humanity and its animalistic nature.

IronDBZ · 2024-08-15T15:06:58+00:00

Gotta break eggs if you want to cook.

Disregard idiots who want you to starve.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-08-15T12:10:10+00:00

why do you allow reddit to determine how you feel about yourself

W-Pilled · 2024-08-15T13:11:27+00:00

Who cares what people think. you are attracted to whomever you are attracted to.

Go get em

guppyhunter7777 · 2024-08-15T11:57:59+00:00

You have to remember if men had the sex drive of women the species wouldn’t have it died out after about 10 generations. Men have their place in the equation. There is a female equivalent to this, it’s called bitching. women love to do it and can’t stop to help themselves. It in their nature and is repulsive to males

flipsidetroll · 2024-08-15T15:17:40+00:00

Are they? In my job, I look out for language patterns and descriptive words that either show a belief or try and hide a belief.

Starting to get a sense of you now. You don’t want to believe that women are bad. But you are told, clearly by the media you watch, that they are. You say average guys are made to feel “dirty” for having desire. Then you describe sex as unholy. Think about it.

Cjaylyle · 2024-08-15T15:12:38+00:00

I think women who are the gatekeepers of sexuality and reproduction instinctively know that “average” men aren’t meant to be having sex and be given the opportunity to reproduce. And that manifests itself in many different ways.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-08-15T13:32:07+00:00

Who is saying this? Generally speaking “average guys” are criticized for not being upfront enough about what they want and trying to fake a friendship when all they want is sex.

Nobody is saying men shouldn’t be open about their sexual desire, quite the opposite.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-08-15T12:05:58+00:00

You’ll lose your mind wanting the approval of ppl on the internet. If you see a cute girl and you want to ask her out then do that.

I don’t understand why some men make it harder than it has to be by overthinking about things that have nothing to do with the situation at hand.

attendquoi · 2024-08-15T12:44:07+00:00

You can sexually desire all you want. But men are the first to say they'll fuck anything. That sounds pretty dirty to me.

SaBahRub · 2024-08-15T14:31:57+00:00

Nope, it’s just unwanted

Chad is wanted

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-08-15T16:09:17+00:00

I think part of the "dirty" aspect.

Is cause many men that have little to no experience with women act towards women like they would men. What's often seen as rude or harsh or realy forward.

But I think both sides do seem to be very lacking in that department of the insight. That men among men are very different to each other.

And the same with women among women.

And when you have very little experience with the other sex. And don't know the difference and what is seen as rude and creepy. There are some big pitfalls. But what often people forget they will never understand or learn or get any experience when you just shame and mock people.

Think in any job any skill or hobby. How likely are you to keep trying to improve if every time you make a mistake I'd miss understanding an intension or fuck up you get shamed and put on blast. Or pulled true the ringer. And people see that. And make even more people unwilling to try. learn. or understand it at all.

Why the amount of awkward people is not getting smaller but bigger. You make people less and less likely to want to learn.

So that creepy or weird guy. Will always be creepy and weird cause he will most likely never understand what he did wrong.

There is a lot of learning and u learning when dealing with men and women. Men rules are fastly different then women rules. What's acceptable and what's not. People often forget that we are far more different then just what's between or legs.

Why I understand that dor women those men are creepy and of putting. But I only understand that cause I also made my fair mistakes and went true my own pitfalls and misunderstandings. And had a few relationships.

Cause even if your friends with girls is very different then when chasing love interests.

And I thought to ow I had guy friends and girl friends I hang out with. Getting a girlfriend and stuff should not be so difficult and different.

Why I say I get it can be of putting or creepy how men come over. But just how many women totally don't understand men so do men totally don't understand women. The more harsh you are the less likely they are to learn or improve.

Just how you would be un motivated to improve if everyone shames or make a mockery of a skill or hobby your trying to improve. It unmotivates somone to keep improving and understanding that person that's outside his own lived sense of normal and acceptable.

Cause even with women's friends many things were more acceptable to joke around with. And suddenly it's not. So for many what's acceptable and not is very hard to read. Cause also people seem to get offended much more quickly than beforehand.

What also makes even more men even more less likely to try. And be even longer stay awkward and creepy.

See what I mean by how it makes the set problem bigger not smaller.

So all I ask to be a bit nicer and a bit more open-minded cause being awkward does not mean you have bad intentions. Many people that even have the best intentions fuck up all the time.

Cause the harsher you are to people the more you also make them resentful of how you have treated them.

And understanding or to be understood. Is a 2-way street. To wish to be understood requires you to be willing to understanding of others too.

And that's what a relationship is 2 people compromise and meeting each other halfway so both make that each side is in his element and together working together to fulfill each other's goals.

But no one wakes up at that point they right away understand that. What the other wants and needs are without experiences and getting chances and having the capacity to grow and fail.

No hate but just think about it how the world will be if the men always are just as harsh to women as women are to men. Cause it wil become a reality. The world has a type of power that if you push a type of thing long enough that it wraps around and gets spit in the face with 2 times the force.

So be a bit kinder bit more understanding all around. And honestly, I think the world will be the better for it for everyone.

The saying You get more done with honey than with vinegar rings true

januaryphilosopher · 2024-08-15T12:17:56+00:00

Straight men have the most accepted sexual desires of anyone. They even feel confident enough to accept and even embrace their desires and discuss them openly. Imagine how everyone else feels! (Although I'd suggest you might personally be feeling dirty because you think things such as asking someone out for coffee or being nice are sexual?)

ignitedwolf9200 · 2024-08-15T13:04:52+00:00

It’s time to get off the internet, young man

AtlisArt · 2024-08-15T14:19:34+00:00

Oh, I'm gonna get so much dislikes for that... 😆

You know what is the problem with modern men? Those who are "made" to feel something about something by someone?

They listen to women. And learn from them.

Not their own head is their teacher. Not other men. Women.

You are not supposed to do that.

That's it.

Have fun. 😉

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2024-08-15T15:53:15+00:00

Straight male sexuality has been the cultural default for generations. What you're witnessing is a rebalancing act and you're taking it as a demonization.

Women are already used to being demonized for their sexuality, so we're happy for any attempt made to destigmatize our desires and interests.

sad_asian_noodle · 2024-08-15T12:26:16+00:00

Y u so dirty dirty?

Women themselves will sooner or later allow some guy to do very unholy stuff to them too.

No such thing, I am a child of God.

Redpill-mind · 2024-08-15T11:49:40+00:00

What's honestly to debate here ?

Just do it

jjolteon · 2024-08-15T15:15:51+00:00

The way sexual dynamics play out in society imply that men “devalue” women

if a woman has slept with many men, her value is considerably lower than a woman who was pickier and slept with less men

its something both women and men engage in. it’s called “slut shaming”

Conscious_Air_8675 · 2024-08-15T16:19:02+00:00

Part of being a man is not giving af what other people think. You guys sound like pussies lmao. Being attracted to women is literally wanted to stick your d inside of them why would you deny that?

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-08-15T16:34:30+00:00

There's a difference between sexual discipline and sexual repression.

Sexual discipline is having those desires you are going to have them it's natural everyone does but no acting upon it or forcing it upon someone you are talking to. Some guys lack that discipline. Like talking about their cocks whenever the opportunity arises. Talking about how horny they are. Trying to steer the conversation in a sexual direction when there is no reason for the conversation to be sexual. It's a huge turn off.

It's letting things happen organically. Without trying to steer it in a way that gets you laid. It's gauging the person's comfort with you and allowing things to just transpire. That's way sexier way better it builds desire.

A lot of men just throw out "sex please" when talking to women and that is what gets shamed and picked at.

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obviousredflag · 2024-08-15T15:38:52+00:00

You think you are an average guy? Is it just Chads and average guys? Chads are everything, average guys are nothing?

Title	Average guys are made to feel "dirty" for having a sexual desire
Author	Babyface_Bogart
Upvotes	116
Comments	280
Date	August 15, 2024 11:24 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1esso58/average_guys_are_made_to_feel_dirty_for_having_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/average-guys-are-made-to-feel-dirty-for-having-a.1527334 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527334

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