Women are indifferent to Most men

Icarus367 · 2024-12-10T21:49:28+00:00

When something you don't care about ( especially if doesn't on second inspection improve your life in any way) tries to get your attention your response is disgust.

Many women don't even see undesirable men as sexual beings: they're biologically male, but, in the eyes of those women, those men aren't socially or sexually male. Therefore, when one of those undesirable males makes any sort of romantic or amorous advance towards the woman, they view it as akin to their cousin asking them out on a date at Thanksgiving dinner, or their 90-year-old neighbor asking them out to a candlelit dinner.

Another part of the reason that women sometimes become annoyed at such men asking them out is because they feel that it devalues them in some way to have ugly or otherwise undesirable men ask them out, because such an action implies that the man at least thought he had a non-negligible chance of success, which might lead her to think "he thought he had a chance with me?"

kwikkwikstudy · 2024-12-10T20:12:18+00:00

Indifference and disgust are two very different things. In fact if you're disgusted you're not indifferent. Your premise is flawed.

alwaysright0 · 2024-12-10T19:37:52+00:00

Yeah. No shit.

Most people are indifferent to most people.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-12-11T13:28:18+00:00

Most people are indifferent to people that they don't care about directly.

But the problem is not indifference. It's a lack of kindness and respect. And just being rude or entitled.

Being kind and respectful to everyone even if you indifferent of them is literally the smallest effort ever. And that simple lack of human decency. Why people also more and more commonly are rude as fk back.

And thats how people devolve kindness and respect. Cause people find they deserve respect and kindness automatically. But don't feel like they should be given it all the time in kind to.

Thats what means you get what you give and you give what you get. What your not willing to give to others. Your not really worthy of reserve it.

Mentathiel · 2024-12-10T21:02:58+00:00

We should feel responsibility to each other as people, not as a gender. The genders may face certain issues more commonly than the other gender, but virtually no issue is gender-specific and you should feel equally responsible for a male or female victim of anything, all else being equal.

Now, how responsible you should feel is a different matter. Usually, if you didn't personally cause the situation, you shouldn't feel very much guilty about it, that sounds like unhealthy levels of shame. But we all bear some responsibility for living in a healthy society. That doesn't mean martyring yourself to save others from themselves, but we can all do our part to stay informed, to not spread misinfo, to be honest with people, and to be there for the people we love. Then it's up to them what they're going to do with our honest feedback or offer to hold space for them. You can't force someone to listen to you or trust you, you can just offer and see what happens.

When it comes to men and sexlessness, I don't know how to explain this better, but the idea that floats around here that it's normal expected and obvious to be suicidal if you're sexless is FALSE. Yes, there are a lot of problems if you've never had a girlfriend as a man. There's a lot of social pressure to pair up that reminds you all the time of how inadequate you feel. People equate your masculinity and your worth to your ability to attract women, so you feel unworthy and unmasculine, which impacts your confidence negatively, making you even less attractive. You may struggle to share your emotions with people because they're indifferent or hostile, it may be hard to find a true friend you can be vulnerable with and not feel weak and exposed and like it will be used against you. You get needy and desperate and touch-starved and when you do finally get some attention you latch on so hard it scares people away.

All of this is NOT NORMAL. It's a product of a terrible society that socializes men to act this way and everyone to treat men this way. But it's perfectly possible to not have a partner and be happy. But it requires a lot of work to untie all of these knots in your head. The guilt, the shame, the high standards for self, the inadequacy, the neediness and need for external validation, etc. It's all a part of disordered thinking. And it's not men's fault because people of all genders have all sorts of shitty childhoods and problems they've been dealt with by life/biology/whatever. But it is their responsibility to work towards a solution if they're facing these issues. And it is our responsibility as a society to bring awareness. But that's as much as you can do. Offer accurate info, authentic feedback, and if you have the bandwidth and it would not impact your own mental health negatively, a shoulder to cry on. It's up to the other side what they'll do with your offer.

Do women feel more indifferent than men? I don't know. Women overwhelmingly donate to charities more, do more volunteer work, are more in mental health and caretaker fields, spread awareness on social media, go to therapy and try to show up better for people around them. Tbh I reject the premise that women don't care because when talking about specific online hot button gender war issues, they can be dismissive or hostile in environments full of people who frankly hate them.

But do women care more about other women and children than men? Perhaps so. But so do men. Everyone cares about women and children more and that's a part of the whole patriarchal structure that teaches you it's your duty to keep them safe and provided for. And that makes you feel guilty and ashamed when a strange man is violent to a strange woman. You don't know either of them nor could you have prevented it, but you feel guilty. Why? Because you've been taught it's your responsibility to protect the women in your community. This is wrong, it's all of our responsibility towards all of each other to do what we can, but draw boundaries and not get unhealthily invested into situations where the person is not ready to accept the help.

And at the end, are women responsible to date men who otherwise kill themselves? No, and it's borderline abusive to even suggest that they are. But they are responsible to stop perpetuating the kind of society that makes men equate sexual rejection with lack of any worth and purpose. It's normal and expected that constant rejection will hurt even in a perfect society and even with perfect psychological health, rejection is inherently painful, but it doesn't have to also be robbing people of any sense of intimacy, vulnerability, gentle touch, masculinity, purpose, etc.

missmireya · 2024-12-10T19:58:08+00:00

I don't feel disgust when those men become successful. I literally don't care. So you're only halfway right.

Most of us women act indifferent because we have no other choice. Every single time I have treated a man with common courtesy, smiled, or treated him like a human being- His brain has to gone automatically to "she wants me" or thinking that I'm interested in him, when I'm not...Dude, I'm literally trying to be civil and nice.

Most of you don't know how to act right around women. Yet you get angry when we have no choice but to look straight through you. The end.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-12-10T21:41:10+00:00

Most people are indifferent to other people. In general,I care about people, as a whole, having basic rights and having access to food, shelter, medicine. However, I'm not actively thinking about what specific struggles any random person I walk past on the street is going through, nor do I wonder if any given person is worthy of my hate or admiration. They're just strangers, I'm indifferent to them. I don't want anything bad to happen to them, but I'm not actively wishing for blessings for everyone at the grocery store. And I guarantee they care as much about me, a random person - they don't think of me one way or another.

Xeltar · 2024-12-10T21:46:42+00:00

I mean I care about people as a baseline and I certainly care about disadvantaged people and why we need to help them. The angriest men who have nothing better to do besides care what women think about them are not really disadvantaged in any meaningful way.

Ukraine's a great example, I feel pretty upset men there aren't allowed to leave the country... but the ones angriest at women being allowed to leave aren't the Ukrainians, it's like privileged Americans complaining about needing to sign up for selective service which is basically nothing in order to try to guilt women into dating them.

EulenWatcher · 2024-12-10T19:27:53+00:00

People are indifferent to most people. Largely we do not care about strangers who have no affect on our lives. Otherwise, there wouldn't be people dying from treatable disease, starving kids, exploited workers etc. All of it happens partially because of everyone's indifference. Most people don't care for problems that do not affect them personally or their close ones.

Men are less indifferent to women, because they want to fuck. That does not necessarily make them more attuned to women's problems and struggles though, but we can easily see that it can make them more hostile towards women if they see women as these evil keepers of what men really want and who deny them that.

I'm curious though, do you think women should feel "communal responsibility" for lonely men? Why?

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2024-12-10T19:38:09+00:00

I don’t see what’s so bad about women being indifferent towards men when they’ve done studies with men that prove that they’re literally angered by unattractive women.

Women’s lives don’t revolve around men as much as men’s lives revolve around women. I mean just going off of what a lot of men say on here, a lot of men think about every woman they come across in a sexual manner, regardless if she’s old, fat, etc. Women don’t and for some reason lots of men see this as “woman are sooooo mean!”

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2024-12-10T19:55:01+00:00

Indifference isn’t gendered.

CherryPieAlibi · 2024-12-10T21:17:25+00:00

I don’t understand. Are we supposed to treat random men like they’re special? If he isn’t my husband, dad, grandpa or friend- idgaf about some stranger. And the same applies to women I don’t know.

BDaily24 · 2024-12-10T19:58:38+00:00

Women are about as interested or empathetic towards men as men are towards ugly, fat and otherwise unattractive women.

PracticalControl2179 · 2024-12-10T19:50:36+00:00

Most people are indifferent to most people.

Saying hateful things about women online is not “inconveniencing” them. Nor is it “bettering” men’s lives in any way, shape, or form. Seething is not bettering your life. It’s engaging in hate speech and works to just make you resign to stagnation. The fact that you are trying to justify hate speech is misogynistic and inexcusable.

SayuriKitsune · 2024-12-11T10:27:32+00:00

do men care about the alarming rates of women being murdered, raped, DV etc?? Are they doing something to help us? not much, just a tiny majority of men actually do something. Reality is the majority of men dont care at all or they think we deserve it. So , now , why should we care so much about the ones who are doing this to us or the ones looking away? We build communities to help each other, you can do the same. And actually , the real good men that help, arent lonely or ignored, at all.

Chicken-Cake47 · 2024-12-11T11:42:30+00:00

Do men care about most women 🤔?

bluestjuice · 2024-12-10T20:28:52+00:00

Caring about people demands energy, attention, and emotional resources, all of which exist in finite quantities within any given person.

It’s honestly impossible to care deeply about the vast majority of people most of the time. Which is not to say that one can’t or shouldn’t carry a sense of generalized caring for the state of the world and its peoples, as well, but this is different from active caring.

I wish men, in general, well, and hope that things go well for them in their lives. Same for others of other genders. But this isn’t useful for anything other than general vibes, and perhaps informing my background attitude when called upon to pay attention to one particular man who has hitherto not existed individually on my radar. It is a kind of indifference because even if it turns out that my good wishes aren’t manifested, this isn’t something I’m continually attending to or prepared to fix.

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-12-10T20:31:44+00:00

Most people are indifferent to most people. There just simply isn't enough hours in a day to give a shit about every single person that you come across, much less take the time to know their individual story/struggle, much much much less take time to help them.

Excerpt from another thread I posted this in, but it's relevant here:

Outliers want to be loved and desired. That's understandable. What's not understandable is expecting a whole of society effort to help these struggling people have sex.

Honestly, aside from discussion forums where it comes up, nobody is thinking about people who are either losers or left behind. The only time in a dating standpoint that "disgust" even comes up is if someone misjudges someone, thinks them to be worth their attraction, and finds out they aren't, or if a friend gets hurt by someone like that.

Kat_ri · 2024-12-11T05:18:52+00:00

I absolutely agree that women are indifferent to most men. Women are not sexually charged towards most people they interact with day-to-day. Men are often projecting when they hypothesize about women's thought processes.

Cactus2711 · 2024-12-11T05:30:34+00:00

We already assume this. Think of how many people you actually care about in your life. I probably have about 15.

Indifferent to the other 7.9999999999999999 billion.

remaininyourcompound · 2024-12-11T05:58:09+00:00

I would be less indifferent to strange men if the slightest degree of interest weren't interpreted by them as a romantic/sexual signal 100% of the time.

Women learn very early that even making eye contact with an unknown man can be dangerous. I'm not looking to get followed home again after briefly making eye contact with a male stranger on the train, thanks.

LAKings55 · 2024-12-10T22:23:53+00:00

I mean...I'm indifferent to most women. Most men too for that matter. Other people, especially strangers or casual acquaintances aren't particularly interesting to me in most contexts.

DoubleFistBishh · 2024-12-10T21:58:43+00:00

Most people in general are indifferent to most people in general

GKilat · 2024-12-10T21:39:23+00:00

I would argue hate is worse and only someone that seeks attention would want that. I would rather people be indifferent towards me than outright hate me. Indifference is neither love nor hate and so someone that you are indifferent about seeks attention, you either ignore it because you lack interest or you respond out of curiosity.

I would agree that most women are indifferent to men that they don't know but disagree they would be disgusted by it. Those who reacts negatively towards men hate men and not simply indifferent.

DeathToPinkDolphins · 2024-12-11T01:33:50+00:00

I'm indifferent to most women?

Why would I care about some random woman's struggles

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2024-12-11T03:06:16+00:00

Why should anyone be obligated to cater to strangers? Nobody asks you to do this.

Soviet_Dreamer · 2024-12-11T06:39:07+00:00

So for example how do you show your care for other women and why not even men who are outside your circle. What are the things you do?

flipsidetroll · 2024-12-11T07:03:21+00:00

Ok. Let’s say that’s true. But how are you not indifferent to women? What do you do specifically that shows how you help, and empathise with women. How are you different to indifferent women? And how do you specifically help unsuccessful men? Blaming others for not doing things that you yourself don’t do, is wildly hypocritical. And bordering on abuse. Telling men that no one cares? …… picture an abusive partner, slowly isolating someone from people around them, slowly making them fear rejection from others who could care for them, telling them no one else cares. Yeah, that is the insidious agenda of trp. And yours too. When you can explain what you do and how you do things that specifically help men, you can throw shit. Until then, sit down you fucking clown.

Now, me personally, I am indifferent to ANYONE outside of my circle. I can care about a group, not random individuals. But no one has the ability to care about every individual that crosses their path. But the men in my circle, I will do anything to help them. I work in an area of men’s rights. We help single fathers with fighting false accusations. And I do it for free. I have two other jobs to be able to do this job. So fuck you for saying women are indifferent. You don’t recognise me as an individual so why do you expect women to recognise men as individuals. Once again, you prove what hypocrites you are. And how too many men here are totally oblivious clowns.

Original-Vanilla-222 · 2024-12-11T09:42:34+00:00

Most women don't see most men as actual sexual beings.
More like androids, but yes, no active hating.
Hate requires (emotional) labour, which most men are not worth.

GrandpaDallas · 2024-12-11T10:35:46+00:00

Tbf I’m indifferent to most women, so it evens out.

Sinnestanten · 2024-12-10T22:59:07+00:00

I am an unattractive woman and I am as indifferent to men as men are indifferent to me.

CarHungry · 2024-12-10T23:31:51+00:00

Let me put it like this; if a white person crosses the street to not be near a black person, you wouldn't call it indifference, and I wouldn't call it "corrupted love" either.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-12-11T03:34:17+00:00

i mean i dont care about a lot of things but thats not the same thing as having disgust

caring about something consumes energy as well as having disgust for something

Jake0024 · 2024-12-11T06:59:13+00:00

...that's the default behavior toward people you don't know, why would you feel positively or negatively about people you've never met?

Schleudergang1400 · 2024-12-11T07:56:04+00:00

Women are indifferent to Most men

When something you don't care about ( especially if doesn't on second inspection improve your life in any way) tries to get your attention your response is disgust.

No, the response is indifference.

balsag43 · 2024-12-11T09:42:51+00:00

People are indifferent as a whols.

They don't care about climate change.

They don't care about the people who made their stuff.

They don't care about the people dying in a war somewhere else.

They even complain when their cheap shit is less cheap because the people making it got a wage increase.

downvoted_for_woman · 2024-12-10T22:50:22+00:00

No, it'd be better if they were indifferent. They can't be disgusted if they're indifferent.

When a man offs himself it brings them pleasure. Same if he slaves away and lives a miserable life.

If he dares even cross their field of view they're disgusted. Imagine if he had to audacity look at them, or worse, talk to them.

Not exactly "indifferent" or "neutral" behavior.

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BillSF · 2024-12-11T22:49:20+00:00

To be fair, most people are indifferent to most people. Realizing this is literally one of the key points that finally released me from my lifelong depression 6 or 7 years ago (47M now)....Most of the time, almost no one is actually consciously judging you. Even when they do, it is usually a brief mental anecdote that quickly recedes into their stream of consciousness.

Men are socialized to be "useful" and to care about helping (especially women), so we are probably less indifferent to women than they are of us. And while some aspect of that is potentially opening the door to a sexual opportunity, I think it is mostly just the little hit of dopamine from feeling useful.

WhatTheyWanttoHear · 2024-12-12T04:24:03+00:00

I'm indifferent to most women too.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2024-12-13T11:39:02+00:00

Yes I’ve heard this claimed to be called the “not people group” your very correct with these guys being invisible to women, also know as apex fallacy when you only notice the top preforming members of a group. That’s why you have women being the 4B movement and labeling it as a get back and men for voting trump in.

It doesn’t occur to them that the male loneliness Epidemic has gotten so bad that even leftist news centres where discussing it. Basically women are confused as to why Chad would limit his own sexual access as the guys who are lonely and wouldnt have got sex regardless of there votes werent even a though in there mind in the first place. Hence why there called the invisible/ not people group.

Adventurous-Ruin3873 · 2024-12-10T22:22:59+00:00

So, about 15 or so years ago, I had just arrived in Japan. I had a small community of expat friends, one of whom was a young woman from my state. She was a staunch feminist, for what it matters.

This woman was having some pretty serious issues. She would call me crying regularly. Something always happened. She heard a woman yelling at her kids, she saw a stray cat, whatever.

I probably spent 2~ hours a week on the phone being her personal therapist.

Well, one day, I had just broken up with my girlfriend, and I was having a tough time. I called her on the phone. She basically said, and I quote, "Hey that sounds hard but good luck with all that," and then proceeded to hang up on me.

It's kind of when I realized something. Men care a great deal more about women than women care about men. I've seen similar situations so many times throughout my life, but women demand that men pay attention to their issues, yet return the favor by just shrugging at men's issues and, at best, calling them self-inflicted.

So yeah. I wouldn't care if women didn't care if women didn't expect me to care.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-12-11T04:57:44+00:00

Everyone is indifferent towards men. I think there's a cultural practice where nobody really pries too hard into men's lives, business, or mental state, and they don't offer men unsolicited help... so that comes off as indifference, whereas women can be coddled by the people around them.

Revolutionary_Law793 · 2024-12-11T14:36:24+00:00

So why are social workers mostly women? If anyone has less empathy in general it is men Btw I like a lot of men in my life, I dont like to place collective blame on people

DeshiJuche · 2024-12-10T20:25:31+00:00

Facts

Difficult_Falcon1022 · 2024-12-10T23:19:03+00:00

A strange man killing himself because he isn't getting sex and relationships is sad. It isn't women's responsibility as a gender to solve though. Alleviating that pain isn't in my gift.

In comments you've branched into women not considering how to be good partners which is entirely irrelevant to your point surely about how women feel about men in general.

What do you actually want from women?

Title	Women are indifferent to Most men
Author	DrummerClassic587
Upvotes	76
Comments	412
Date	December 10, 2024 6:56 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hb97ej/women_are_indifferent_to_most_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-are-indifferent-to-most-men.1538150 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538150

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