What Standards that the Opposite Sex has do you Consider Acceptable/ Encouragable?

Sad_Top1743 · 2021-06-04T01:07:07+00:00

The safety standards especially but also being kind/attentive.

I think most of the personality based standards are more than reasonable its just when they throw everything out because hawt and they still expect commitment.

nyclaurco · 2021-06-04T00:39:25+00:00

i don’t get offended when men don’t want to be with women whose hobbies are ONLY entry-level makeup knowledge, reality tv, social media, and listening to music, as in not making it. women don’t want to date men whose only hobbies are video games, listening to music, going on the computer, and, like, collecting funkos. it would be goofy for someone with no hobbies to demand a skydiving, martial artist, expert baker, guitar player in space. basically, consoomers shouldn’t expect to date creators. however, i will say that a lot of stereotypical women’s creative hobbies are mocked for no reason, like actual makeup or special effects artist, baking, crocheting, or dancing.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-06-04T03:13:45+00:00

Waiting to have sex but not as some kind of strategy to keep men hooked. They should wait to have it until they're ready to have it, and if they're ready to have it, then they shouldn't be waiting.

Be as good as the man you're wanting to date. If you want him to communicate, then you need to be communicating too. If you want him to meet you halfway, then you should meet him halfway too. If you want him to make an effort in dating and relationships, you should be doing the same in a similar fashion.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-06-04T00:17:58+00:00

Yep.

Being cautious, waiting to have sex, go back to a guys house is 100% understandable.
Wanting a guy that is taller (not a 5’1 demanding 6’2)
Expecting a guy to buy her the drink / coffee if the guy was the one to ask her out (but not a first date dinner)
Not wanting a fat guy if she is not (of course)
Not wanting their political opposite (ie wokester / trump supporter)

Illustration: https://imgur.com/a/quDqzMb

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-06-04T00:22:01+00:00

Any standard that either gender has is acceptable, complaining about not finding a partner that meets those standards is decidedly NOT.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-06-04T01:21:26+00:00

I have to put myself in women's shoes. I cannot be upset with women's standards just because they may seem to not be in men's interests.

So my general point is that I judge a woman's standards excessive when they are actually getting in the way of her own happiness. Same for a man's.

sdwdqw65 · 2021-06-04T00:33:23+00:00

I don’t really care who women date as long as the guy they’re dating isn’t a complete fucking scumbag (I.E criminals, drug dealers, gang members, cringy frat/fuck bois, etc).

If you’re dating a guy who is just a straight up garbage human or totally cringe (guys who try way too hard to be tough/wannabe gangster) hell yes I will judge you.

xxxLemonation · 2021-06-04T05:31:32+00:00

Let's be real, any standard is acceptable as long as you don't blame anyone but yourself for your own singledom, if your standards happen to be almost statistically impossible to achieve.

Example: Let's go with the female "classic" 6 ft. height, okay so you're open to dating 15% of the male population, remove all men in relationships, out of your age range and all homosexuals, you'll have a significantly smaller pool but it's still reasonable... BUT if you add 6 figures to your criteria then you are out of your mind if you blame men for not meeting your standards because 15% x 12%(people who earn 6 figures of more) is 1.8%(and you still have to remove the ones I mentioned before). And let's not forget that if you're tall and make a lot of money you likely still have to meet certain other criteria maybe not being overweight or having a somewhat slightly above average face, maybe some common interests.

So if a woman has all those standards but doesn't blame men for her being single, it's fine.

baby-puppy · 2021-06-04T00:41:26+00:00

If I see tall girls 5"8+ only wanting taller men I don't scoff. There's a good chance most short or average guys won't shoot their shot with them so their pool is already smaller and limited to extra tall men. Also ok with girls expecting men to make more money than her if both wants kids especially if the man insists she cuts her hours for them.

AntiSocialPartygoer · 2021-06-04T01:18:31+00:00

Having good personal hygiene and grooming skills
Having basic emotional intelligence
Having basic empathy skills
Not engaging in destructive or illegal behaviours like reckless driving, bar fighting, street fighting, illegal car races, alcohol and/or drugs abuse

TimelessMystic · 2021-06-04T09:17:28+00:00

Any standards that you meet yourself. If you are a republican, it's perfectly acceptable to want a republican. If you are an atheist, it's acceptable to want an atheist too.

AlienElyssa29 · 2021-06-04T01:16:09+00:00

As a woman, acceptable standards for men to want in a partner-

Emotionally available

Working

Plans for the future

Weight - it's a preference.

Goal oriented

Have hobbies of their own

A car - depending on local transportation

Their own place - depending on situation

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-06-04T00:41:09+00:00

I’ve posted a list of standards that every guy I’ve dated has had before, and clearly I’m ok with this list (either in its entirety or piecemeal)

Feminine behavior in public/around friends
Loyal
General feminine chores (cooking, light cleaning up, etc)
Handel the social duties - scheduling and organizing parties, RSVP’ing, etc
Maintain good physical fitness/physique
Very regular body hair removal/maintenance (I shave my legs daily)
Hair and makeup upkeep
Flattering, fashionable clothing
Has her own interests/hobbies/friend group
Has a career she’s invested in (and successful at)
Good relationship with family
Good credit

I could probably go on, but this idea that all you have to do is “not be fat” in order to be with a guy is laughable. Men have standards, too

And here’s the thing - that’s ok!! People are allowed to have the standards they want

Gilmoregirlin · 2021-06-04T02:26:22+00:00

Female and I have to say any standard are acceptable so long as you are honest about what they are. I am now married but was single and dated both on and offline for many years. It’s not worth passing judgment on people’s standards or trying to change them. Date the people who want to date you. You are not changing others minds.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2021-06-04T01:44:35+00:00

A traditional and feminine woman can expect me to be a masculine and traditional man.

Modern woman gets the modern man, toxicity and all.

GunnzzNRoses · 2021-06-04T02:38:06+00:00

Wanting attractive faced people. Never really judged someone for that. If you're good looking enough, most other standards (height, muscle, frame, money) are moot.

midwestufohunter · 2021-06-04T00:27:30+00:00

Any standard a man wants to have is his right. No one has to date if they don’t want to.

statsfodder · 2021-06-04T05:19:02+00:00

... any standards are OK. Just don't bitch and complain when you reduce your dating pool size to 0 ..

E.g.

I'm a 250lb, 5'2", female with a face like a smashed crab and an attitude like beyonce, i will only date a 6'+, 7 figure, adonis .. I HaVe mY StAnDaRdS!!!

(Later that day)

Where have all the good men gone?!? There are no decent men to date and those misogynistic pigs i msg won't msg back! Reeeee!!

Naus1987 · 2021-06-04T03:04:54+00:00

As a 5’7” tall guy, I absolutely support women who are picky on height, lol. I justify it, because I’m picky on weight, and it only seems fair.

I’ve seen men argue that they can’t adjust their height, but women can adjust their weight.

My argument is that a guy shouldn’t get hung up on the women who are judgy. There’s a lot of people out there. Stop trying to chase the ones who don’t want ya, and focus on the ones you’re compatible with!

Again, I’m a 5’7” tall guy, and I’ve been in relationships almost every year of my adult life. I’ve never once had my height be a heartbreaking factor, because I don’t dwell on those people — I move on.

Always keep moving. Life isn’t about the hardships you have—it’s about how you overcome them.

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Kristosfer · 2021-06-04T00:36:35+00:00

suggesting to move on or something like that when the person is actually on a relationship, for me is unnaceptable.

PAThrowaway59 · 2021-06-04T00:44:28+00:00

Personality traits, not wanting to fuck right away, caring about n count, caring about career and financial security

Fudstersecured · 2021-06-04T04:47:52+00:00

1) indirect communication as opposed to direct approach. The older I get the less I mind feeling each other out and subtle flirtation 2) boundaries surrounding sleeping together. It can be more fun when you are building up to intimacy. I wouldn’t fault a woman for waiting and going at her own pace. 18 year old me would be pawing at her panties but now I’m curious if there’s something more.. 3) Desiring a man with status, wealth, accomplishments, magnum dong, good taste in fashion, etc... There’s a certain arbitrariness and objectification to human attraction. And it’s also reasonable to desire someone that fits your values and beliefs.

Lateralanouncer · 2021-06-04T05:05:37+00:00

Woman wanting a successful high-value man.

DesertSweat · 2021-06-04T07:39:43+00:00

I’m male. I find any standards acceptable that women may have.

Except double standards.

alberto-hoff · 2021-06-04T09:23:47+00:00

Literally any standards whatsoever.

They're entitled to date and not date whoever they please.

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2021-06-04T11:44:23+00:00

I consider putting a time frame on sex to be completely idiotic. If you're both feeling in the mood on the first night, there's nothing wrong with doing the horizontal tango.

YveisGrey · 2021-06-04T18:40:36+00:00

I agree with you

As for men I think it’s acceptable for them not to want to involve themselves with a woman who has children already. It is a huge responsibility and baggage with that said if he has kids also he has no room to judge.

V_N_Antoine · 2021-06-06T16:34:21+00:00

I especially appreciate when women are willing to sacrifice everything, to forego any safety measure, to ignore any convention meant to vouchsafe a certain integrity in order for them to experience rapture. I like adventurous existences. I like when they do what they are not supposed to do. I like when they're playing full-out, indefatigable, uncompromising, when they very well know that they're not in an advantageous position, when they risk everything, when they're not in control, and still do what they instinctually would be inclined to reject. Because they have a will stronger than the conservation reflex. I like totalizing women.

PickleLine · 2021-06-04T01:04:19+00:00

Don't be fat

Don't be a criminal

Don't be crazy

Have low N-count

PurplePill_Throwaway · 2021-06-04T00:45:45+00:00

Don’t be fat.
Not wanting to pay for every date in the beginning.
Feminine appearance/manner.
Sex within a reasonable time frame (within a few dates or weeks).
Wanting someone with similar values (marriage, family, politics, religion, etc.)
Any other standard is acceptable as long as it’s not hurting anyone. But if they’re too high than sometimes you either have to accept being alone or lowering them.

BarestBranch · 2021-06-04T04:47:23+00:00

I don’t care about other people’s standards. There are standards I consider stupid: homophobic, racist, and sexist ones mainly. But those individual standards are expressions of societal issues that need to be addressed; I don’t really care if some individual doesn’t date black people or bisexual people or trans people.

People have some weird views on which standards are “fair” and “good”. You don’t have to be skinny to only want to date skinny people, you don’t have to be muscular to prefer muscular bodies. If someone has what are deemed high standards the only person that could possibly get “hurt” by that are they themselves so who gives a fuck.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-06-04T04:31:34+00:00

I think it’s totally reasonable for men to want a woman they’re physically attracted to (aka not fat), who is pleasant to be around, has a good head on her shoulders, and takes care of them, whatever that may look like to them.

In general, I think people can have whatever standards they want. You just can’t act like you’re owed everything if you don’t bring anything comparable to the table.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-06-04T01:19:00+00:00

Don't be fat - wear high heels 24/7.

erice3r · 2021-06-04T08:14:46+00:00

Women wanting a man to protect them is reasonable to me! It is a Jungle out there and eggs are more valuable than sperm!

evasive_manuevers2 · 2021-06-04T01:49:19+00:00

Minimum dick size. No point in getting invested in a relationship where you can't hit that a spot, u spot and g spot simultaneously.

blue_dandelions · 2021-06-04T07:55:03+00:00

Men wanting thin women.

Women wanting tall men.

It’s fine, get over it manlets & land whales.

redback-spider · 2021-06-04T09:18:54+00:00

That they are less visual but more about money and confidence, which gives uglier dudes a bit more chances.

The problem with that is that nobody really teaches guys to be self confident instead everywhere man are shown and portrait and weak and worthless and evil.

A problem with that is that you have to stay confident more or less every day, when with looks if you got them once you don't need to do much to keep them up, if you don't go to the gym for 2 months it will not make you much less attractive but if you are not confident for 2 months then the women is gone, in most cases.

I know here are many incels that believe that looks with guys matter the same but if that would be true we would spend 1-2 hours in bath rooms to get ready like the women. Here in europe guys are not even required to be buffed just slim is enough in most cases, so I still defend this stance, are looks irrelevant especially in online dating no, but that is a different question.

f4z3ultr1x · 2021-06-04T11:25:43+00:00

Paying for her food on a date

i_have_a_semicolon · 2021-06-04T12:21:32+00:00

Fuck your girl silly as often as possible

Inevitable-Fix547 · 2021-06-04T12:36:44+00:00

Anything goes.

You can have whatever standards you want, in many ways I like that there's places like FDS out there encouraging the deranged to take pride in their delusion of their own self worth.

If I see a girl with what I consider ridiculous standards, which honestly has not been too often, then I know to steer clear and move on, at most you can be friends with her for the banter.

People's standards should reflect what they value in life. Let them try to go for whatever life they want to live, society will decide if they're worthy of it.

As for what I think are good standards to encourage people screen for? Introspection, handling pressure and crisis situations well, strong moral character, good sexual chemistry.

If you lack the introspection to know what's making you feel a certain a way and why you're doomed in a relationship

If you can't handle pressure, crisis situations, deadlines and be decisive when it's needed you're doomed in a relationship.

If you're willing to sell out, accept "gifts" and "favours", compromise your morals or accommodate the morally bankrupt your relationship will rot.

Bad sex and/or mismatched libidos kills relationships.

OneTrueQ · 2021-06-04T12:58:24+00:00

I think grown women should care about financial stability - necessity, not luxury.

Liking a man that takes care of his body and works out is also encouragable. But for the love of God be in shape yourself. In America everyone’s is fat damn near.

You can also reasonably want a man taller than you - but not some insane height. 6’3+ is such a small % of men.

I encourage skepticism and hesitance to bed as well.

The most trustworthy, honest, strong, and responsible men deserve the pick of the litter. Things like height or extravagance do not lend to these good traits, (not even physical strength as much as the ignorant would think)

Gerealtor · 2021-06-04T14:02:16+00:00

Kind of vague, but sometimes I feel like guys can be better at just cutting something off when a particular boundary of his has been crossed. Like, they have certain things they won't stand for and seem better at sticking to it once they just decide "no, this isn't okay" . Maybe this is completely off base, but I just feel you see more women allowing more of her boundaries and standards to be crossed and changed for a longer period of time, like being cheated on etc

Also, I saw in some YouTube experiment with a fatfish that the guys were much quicker to just get up and leave because their date had used skinny pics but showed up fat. I feel us women, even if we really want to do the same, can be much more likely to act nice and polite and let a guy get away with stuff, at least in the moment

IOportA · 2021-06-04T22:30:51+00:00

For the sake of the human race women should select for intelligence

If they did we'd be spending vacations on Mars

Instead they select for height and disfunction, and our future population will have a lot of tall criminals

Khanluka · 2021-06-07T16:42:47+00:00

Personal all standart are fine. Aslong as you accept that there more you have the harder it will be.

psypD · 2021-06-04T04:37:25+00:00

In order for me to consider women's standards "acceptable" I would need to be convinced that women actually have standards. I don't believe that is to be the case. Women's desires are all over the fucking place and always changing. When women speak about their "standards" it's just an exercise in hamstering and ego stroking. I have seen loud high "standards" women overlook even shit like basic hygiene and go for bums depending on which way the wind blows. Women's standards are bullshit. The only thing that is sort of universal is height and thankfully it's not my problem.

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-06-04T13:47:49+00:00

Don't LTR anyone you wouldn't have casual sex with (if you have casual sex).

Title	What Standards that the Opposite Sex has do you Consider Acceptable/ Encouragable?
Author	kinokovacs
Upvotes	94
Comments	401
Date	June 3, 2021 10:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nrq4ck/what_standards_that_the_opposite_sex_has_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-standards-that-the-opposite-sex-has-do-you.772759 https://theredarchive.com/post/772759

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