Are we less accepting today (of people) then we were 50 years ago?

idrinkapplejuice42 · 2021-08-06T02:34:56+00:00

I feel like there is less tolerance for ideological diversity and more tolerance for superficial diversity.

LetsDelveIntoIt1 · 2021-08-06T01:15:36+00:00

Seattle is notorious for its NIMBYism, so no surprise that the same people attending protests and marches are less accepting when it affects their lives directly.

I still would say we are, in aggregate, more accepting than we were 50 years ago. But virtue signalling has become louder, and actions don't match the loudness. Basically, the loudness of people saying we should accept is at 10, but acceptance is at 6 - whereas if loudness was also 6, then it wouldn't feel like there's less acceptance. Does that make sense?

(Btw, I'm meeting all my PPD Seattle peeps today!)

EDIT: I meant meeting in this sub, you guys!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!! I didn’t get what all your comments were getting at with “stay safe”, “invite me,” etc, and it finally clicked!! As much as I enjoy the Seattle folk on here I like my anonymity :)
As a quick background - I deleted my previous account (same name without the 1) and didn’t visit this sub for a couple weeks. Under this account after just a couple days I meet the regular PPD Seattle folk I used to interact with here all on the same day, hence my comment about meeting y'all today.

cc'ing u/WestSideMoonWalker u/Simple-Craft-9577 u/KickKathleeenKeddy u/simeneta_two u/midwestufohunter

TomorrowsWar · 2021-08-06T01:44:01+00:00

People are more lonely, less social, more narcissistic. More lone wolves imo

Not necessarily less accepting. Maybe less accepting of love

cowfishAreReal · 2021-08-06T01:18:24+00:00

In what way are people on average objectively less accepting?

Gay people can marry, trans people can transition, there's more men in femele dominated areas and more women in male dominated areas

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-08-06T03:05:35+00:00

Well social media in large part has radicalized or semi radicalized so many people, I think we've actually taking a backwards step in terms of racial discussions, as far as the dating landscape men and women have always kind of had their issues with each other so that's always been a thing, now when you add in The Virtue signaling, I still like women but I do my absolute damnedest to stay away from feminists and women that are hyper into the whole social justice thing, I like my peace lol, and sometimes that means you have to be an asshole to somebody I guess

But I do think the internet in general has desensitized us in a lot of ways as well, and just do your initial point just because somebody feels passionate about some kind of social cause doesn't mean that they still can't be an asshole as a person

But generally speaking as Society we are more accepting of people than we were 50 years ago , quite frankly in some ways a little too accepting lol

wizard564 · 2021-08-06T01:18:55+00:00

In the past people accepted worse because they were restricted to their community, if the most beatiful person in the neighbourhood was a 7/10, they would still be followed and flirted by everyone else.

Nowadays we have OLD, were someone can find the most beatiful person in that half of the country in 10 minutes, they have no reason to accept less knowing there is more at the edge of their fingertips.

Other thing is that on the past spinning plates was shunned by everyone and could get you ostracized out of the community, so people tended to seetle more, nowadays we have multiple communities to get in and out thanks to the internet and people not spinning plates are the ones starting to get strange looks.

Lastly, when an idiot said "I only date 6-6-6" or "you fucked other guys in the first date, why not me" would have kept in their corner as the village idiot and their stupidity would be naturally damage controled, nowadays idiots scream and this happens "gestures broadly at the world"

BasteBread · 2021-08-06T01:13:37+00:00

The mental bandwidth hasn't changed one bit. Ridiculous convictions are replaced by equally stupid notions, they're just repackaged and rebranded.

Glarkin42 · 2021-08-06T01:31:53+00:00

Liberal women are some of the most committed social climbers I have ever seen. Most go on some idiotic political protest but there is next to zero chance they are getting fucked by a guy who isn't of equal or higher class.

NameGiver0 · 2021-08-06T02:41:15+00:00

I grew up In Appalachia. I spent 9 years in Charleston, South Carolina. I live in Portland, OR. The most bigoted, toxic, sexist, racist, selfish, ignorant people I’ve ever met are all from the PNW.

You get utterly rampant racism of low expectations for brown people. Open racism against white people. Coddling of women like they’re children. Treating all men as disposable property and slaves.

I’m basically a hippy that thinks gay married couples should be able to defend their marijuana plants with miniguns. I’ve performed a gay wedding for free at great personal cost. I’m literally wearing a tie-dyed T-shirt my sister made as I write this. I’ll talk to literally anyone at least once to give them a chance. But because I’m a white man I’m the devil. Never mind that I grew up on food stamps in chemical valley (where Dark Waters was about) during the peak of the catastrophe and have the bizarre tooth damage to prove it. Then clawed my way out by being the first person in my family to graduate college (going 70K in debt). But no. I’m a white male. So I’m the villain. You can’t be racist or sexist to me! I’m privileged!

But what I’ve learned is that you cityfolk aren’t very civilized.

And that the “tolerance” is superficial bullshit. It’s gaslighting and an excuse to be openly bigoted by most here.

redbloodywedding · 2021-08-06T01:28:36+00:00

Man I can’t agree more. We spend more time saying we support X cause and then go back to being a general ass to everyone.

Edit: I’m in Portland and the general vibe here is less Portlandia. More like Red vs Blue.

Reddit_Is_Garbage_ · 2021-08-06T04:02:59+00:00

PNW is one of the least accepting places I’ve ever been. They only accept people who are super liberal. It’s a super close minded echo chamber.

ashpr0ulx · 2021-08-06T03:52:25+00:00

it is something i notice on OLD.

“swipe left if you x, y, z”

“swipe left if you voted for trump/biden”

“swipe left if you’re religious/not religious/invented your own religion based around nicholas cage”

it’s so weird to me because if you met someone naturally in real life and vibed with them the differences wouldn’t feel so big. i’m also not looking to date someone who is an idealogical photocopy of myself. i think people are capable of filtering excessively with OLD and social media.

forthetinderelllas · 2021-08-06T06:18:20+00:00

its because of two fundamental things

the first is social media which has algorithmically divided people via echo chambers

-because we have devoloped into a society of instant gratification, we have a lower tolerance for people who dont share our views and

-its easier to fight with people when you arent talking face to face

the second are dating apps which give people seemingly limitless options

-people develop choice paralysis/unwillingness to compromise because of fomo i.e. there's always a better option

-why settle when you can filter for perfection

NockerJoe · 2021-08-06T02:45:22+00:00

PNW social circles get formed in like 2nd grade and anyone you meet after that is just an extra lul.

tropicsGold · 2021-08-06T03:03:38+00:00

My impression of women from the PNW are that they are like the “pastor’s wife” from the 50’s. Obsessed with silly dogma, and absolutely unwilling to stand for anyone who disagrees in the slightest.

4derp · 2021-08-06T03:59:03+00:00

Groups of people seem to need to be solidified by a fear of another group. So your super liberal bubble will have a solidifying fear factor of conservative/white/men, which is the current bogeyman for that group. The problem with this is that if you teach people that x group is bad, but then have to deal with that group, you're going to incentivize your group through prejudice to be afraid of x group and x group will adapt undesirable strategies to deal with your group that on average is prejudicially bias against you.

This is bad enough when it divides along lines of race, but we're doing this along lines of political ideology and sex in a way we haven't seen in our lifetimes. Men don't trust women, because women are taught to distrust men. A lot of men see the "game" rigged in favor of women and have adapted bad dating strategies to cope. Women, both being taught and now seeing these adaptations in men adapt bad strategies that abuse the system to break men - which men see and again adapt less trust. Now we're in a wonderful feedback loop until such time as a collapse happens or an external threat comes along to re-solidify groups again. Until then, round and round she goes.

Our grandparents and great grandparents on average had better relationships because they had to trust each other out of necessity - the Benjamin Franklin effect. We don't have that necessity anymore.

That's how I think about it anyway.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2021-08-06T03:57:02+00:00

SJWs want others to be tolerant of their race and gender, while they themselves love to shit on other races and genders. It was never about equality. It was all about fighting for their own personal interests and agenda, while masquerading as them fighting for equality for all.

Warchief_Ripnugget · 2021-08-06T01:33:30+00:00

Like another commenter said, OLD has globalized the dating marketplace. There is also social media involved and people only see the good times of relationships not the bad. These two components cause people to be much less patient, accepting or willing to work with their partner. They assume the grass is greener because of Instagram and they think that the dating pool is endless because of the internet.

Tldr: social media fucked up dating, especially locally.

blackandlavender · 2021-08-06T07:12:04+00:00

This sub REALLY exaggerates how much men and women hate each other. If you get off the internet and look around, you'll see many people dating each other pretty normally and happily lol. MOST of the people aren't radical feminists or MRA's

playactfx · 2021-08-06T03:43:32+00:00

can you elaborate on the nature of dating being not as open-minded? what have you noticed, why have you decided that? not saying it isn't, just curious about your view

reluctantly_red · 2021-08-06T04:11:10+00:00

Cities and regions have their own dating cultures. I had no problem getting dates when I lived in the Seattle metro area. However, when I moved down to Portland dating was much more difficult -- took me a long time to find someone -- and she was from San Jose.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-08-06T04:15:14+00:00

I pretty much agree with what /u/LetsDelveIntoIt1 said, with the added caveat that I think people here especially just tend to be more insular. This city has a LOT of transplants, which means that the social circles here are less permanent, since there's so much inflow and outflow of people.

I can't really speak as much to what dating life here is like, but it seems like the biggest issue is just people being flaky, but I think that again falls into just the general social environment and coldness that we have a reputation for.

PMmeareasontolive · 2021-08-06T04:36:09+00:00

Well there's something called "the Seattle Freeze" , which I think extends down to Portland. It's supposed to refer to the chilly attitude the natives have towards strangers and makes it difficult to strike up acquaintances. Maybe it's spreading.

Demasii · 2021-08-06T01:33:20+00:00

because they will be the first to go to a protest for some cause then treat their dating partner like crap (bad behavior like ghosting, cheating etc).

I disagree. Ghosting back in the day was called "standing up". Cheating was somewhat an accepted evil because divorce was socially unacceptable. There was more pressure to keep all relationship struggles private back then.

truthteller8 · 2021-08-06T01:40:42+00:00

We're more accepting on a societal level. Most people do want to see historically marginalized groups have basic human rights and dignity.

On a personal level, especially ones where our genitalia may meet, we're as picky as we've ever been. Can't really overcome engrained reproductive desires.

I think it's a running joke at this point how SJW type women usually are with conventionally attractive white guys.

Super-Peoplez-S0Lt · 2021-08-06T04:23:49+00:00

Are there any sources to back this up because I personally find this hard to believe.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-08-06T03:47:45+00:00

Here in the PNW we accept everyone, no matter gender, race, sex etc. we pride ourselves in being so open minded.

Be honest, as long as people agree with you politically you are like totally open minded.

Glum-Bathroom-4342 · 2021-08-06T10:40:58+00:00

"We accept everyone" Except Republicans, Trump voters and white males. Those people should be cancelled and re-educated forcefully.

I think there's a big difference between what people say and what people do.

NoChannel1 · 2021-08-06T05:36:21+00:00

People only support what they think will make their social standing rise. It's no different from back then except they are fake this time to fit a social standing.

hopemoom · 2021-08-06T05:38:05+00:00

PNW has some super intolerant liberals. Just check the Seattle sub.

Negative-Main4490 · 2021-08-06T07:58:32+00:00

The trick to dating - or making friends - in the PNW is you have to avoid the people that are actually from there. Seek out other transplants instead. I say this as someone who grew up in WA but also lived in CA, BC, and NY, the people here may be outwardly courteous but they are cold motherfuckers with a smug, self righteous superiority complex. North Westerners tend to be neurotic, insular, and antisocial people, and are bitterly resentful of "outsiders".

ass-thetics · 2021-08-06T09:38:22+00:00

Will your liberal bubble accept me if I'm a Trump supporter? What if I value gun rights and don't like abortion? Are you guys really all that accepting in the first place?

Unfortunately we only accept what we deem acceptable. Same for men and women.

nemma88 · 2021-08-06T11:52:13+00:00

We're far more accepting as a collective than even 20 years ago.

We just hear more about those who don't via internet.

Unless you mean like, accepting homophobia or such, then no, that is less accepted.

50 years ago (around, OK 50 -60) brilliant gay men were still committing suicide as their sexuality was illegal in the UK.

Allblackallamerican · 2021-08-06T13:18:53+00:00

Virtue Signaling is at its loudest ever. People are publicly protesting in favor of groups of people they wouldn’t actually allow within their circles.

flamingoinghome · 2021-08-06T16:19:39+00:00

.............No. No, we are not.

50 years ago, it was 1971. Dating was much more restricted (most communities still had taboos against mixed-race couples, for instance). You were also significantly more bound by profession and social class (social class is still the elephant in the room, but shhhh).

What you are experiencing is the culture of the PNW--they call it "Seattle freeze" for a reason. You quite simply live in a place where people don't discriminate much--they're equally standoffish to everyone.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-08-06T17:38:45+00:00

I kind of have the belief that we've become more accepting of certain things/behaviour, while going the opposite way on other topics.

Example people get triggered nowadays if you say ma'am or miss and they magically don't identify as that but thats what they look like....we're x100 more tolerant of misandry and promiscuousness, yet x100 LESS tolerant of misgyny

ToughAnswers · 2021-08-06T01:21:00+00:00

Freedom ain't free

midwestufohunter · 2021-08-06T01:13:57+00:00

I think we are less nice and more combative with people we disagree with.

People are far less willing to do the "traditional" thing of excommunicating the gay son while inviting the rapist uncle to thanksgiving dinner.

but don't get it twisted, the old culture is extremely intolerant and it harms us.

Like almost a majority of americans, growing up i learned i needed to perform a role in order to please my parents and receive love (and survive). This was a gendered role but there were other elements to it like minimizing my needs, taking care of myself, providing emotional support to my mom but never needing any myself, and being "positive".

This deeply affected my health and my life. I used food to cope with my feelings since I did not have an empathetic parent to soothe me or teach me healthy self-soothing. And then, since being fat (I was actually a normal weight for a 5 year old when I thought I was fat and started dieting but i was so scared of being fat that i imagined i was) was not part of my "role" i needed to perform to receive love, I developed an eating disorder I had for 30 years.

I was a big time people pleaser and pick me who was abused and raped in situations I may not have been in had I had a sensitive and empathetic parent who accepted me for who I was as a child.

This "children should be seen and not heard" parenting is traumatizing children who grow up to have more children and continue the cycle.

I love seeing tons of moms and dads on social media talking about breaking these cycles of abuse and trauma. Its one thing that makes me really hopeful for the future.

SylvestorTalone · 2021-08-06T03:52:53+00:00

I live in the PNW, a super liberal bubble. Here in the PNW we accept
everyone, no matter gender, race, sex etc. we pride ourselves in being
so open minded.

That's your problem then. Lots of virtue signaling and very little social capital - that is the fruits of liberalism.

learn2earn89 · 2021-08-06T02:08:35+00:00

Well…my family is Hispanic so…maybe not? But I could see how white people might think that.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-08-06T03:37:57+00:00

50 years ago I was a determined little fuck of a sperm who beat-out 12,000,000 other mother fucking sperms for the *ultimate prize* (an EGG!) and that's the last time in my existence I'll ever again be *that* fucking great in a room full of 12,000,000 other fucking guys.

pointlessaccount04 · 2021-08-06T01:59:56+00:00

Long time ago, everyone was taught to avoid these subjects to get along with anybody, do not talk about R.A.P.E

Religion

Abortion(?) I forgot what A stood for

Politics

Economy

Everyone knew these topics are controversial and causes fighting

pubgmisc · 2021-08-06T11:17:29+00:00

Feminists are destroying the nuclear family, that's the problem. Our ancestors tried to write texts to help us establish a governance model that keeps checks and balances, keeps responsibility and authority together. Other than that, no one actually cares about gender or race. Liberals are just creating problems where they don't exist

otter6461a · 2021-08-06T11:31:12+00:00

Do they accept everyone there? How do republicans feel in your bubble? Welcomed and celebrated?

SaBahRub · 2021-08-06T04:27:40+00:00

Welcome to the club, although you’ll probably delete this like you do all your posts

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20171003-proof-that-people-have-always-complained-about-young-adults

https://historyhustle.com/2500-years-of-people-complaining-about-the-younger-generation/

https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/a-new-study-reveals-surprising-reason-why-every-generation-complains-about-kids-these-days.html

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/52209/15-historical-complaints-about-young-people-ruining-everything

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-08-06T05:36:09+00:00

I'm curious as to why supporting someone's civil rights means I also have to want to fuck them lol

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AloneOnTheStrange · 2021-08-06T05:51:56+00:00

Everyone is judgmental, and our modern online world has just made that worse. It's so much easier to just discard people, and we're rewarded more for doing so.

It used to be that if you knew someone from work, class, or your neighborhood, you'd be friendly with them. You can only meet so many people, and it's easier to just accept your differences. Now you can select your friend group from hundreds of others, and you can be as selective as you want.

And you better be selective, because everything you do is going to be broadcast to the world. You're constantly in competition between hundreds of others for who has the nicest vacations, the funnest nights out, and the hottest partners.

SuspiciousAd5402 · 2021-08-06T06:09:25+00:00

You Seattle peeps are getting dates? F me brotha. 0 dates in 2 years I've lived here. Dallas was better for me lmao

DiscussionReader · 2021-08-06T07:08:29+00:00

No, we are more accpeting of different people today.

Kookerpea · 2021-08-06T08:00:55+00:00

I think that people are more tolerant now

Big-Menu-1559 · 2021-08-06T08:17:53+00:00

People are more tolerant of differences especially in strangers and acquaintances. This doesn't necessarily translate to romantic or sexual partners.

I think people can be more knowledgeable and that can lead to acceptance, but I don't think as a whole we are more accepting from a romantic/dating front. If anything, we're more picky with the paradox of choice.

woxmei · 2021-08-06T08:33:00+00:00

What is PNW?

upalse · 2021-08-06T09:33:25+00:00

Tolerance for thee, not for me.

heyitsjeape · 2021-08-06T15:06:17+00:00

I think those types of causes have just taken the place of the role that church and religion used to play in public life. For most people, the actual meaning of the causes are lip-serviced but not that important. They’re a (very poor) vehicle for a sense of community.

Nickover50 · 2021-08-06T15:46:13+00:00

I think it’s more to do with the convenience of OLD which is similar to pulling a number while standing in line at the DMV. Hard to commit when there is so many options standing in line, each one shinier than the next…”now serving 122”

Feisty-Friend9227 · 2021-08-06T16:16:20+00:00

It just goes to show that attraction is much more innate than we realize since diversity has done little to change people’s dating preferences.

EeveeInRecovery · 2021-08-08T03:08:28+00:00

The PNW as we've archetypically known doesn't exist anymore.

The habitat's been infiltrated by Californian bougiewigger ramenhairs who's idea of ''''''''countercultural e m p o w e r m e n t'''''''' is wearing gay pride yeezies and some two bit overpriced yuppie streetwear brand that does 500 dollar BLM x Gucci x _____ Collab drops. Wannabe influencers.

And as somebody who moved back to the PNW (born and raised in Portland up till my preteen years) - but this time in Bellingham, WA for a couple years - I've experienced some of the most gruelling and traumatic forms of ableism (regarding my ASD) around these parts. Speaks audacities for such a '''''tolerant'''' place.

Unsurprising based on many observences of liberal feminists/post-leftists unapologetically shitting on others on the spectrum, even outwardly so.

Feisty-Saturn · 2021-08-06T01:28:52+00:00

In what ways do you find them not accepting of one another? Can you provide some examples?

I definitely think we are more accepting today than ever before of people.

mantapacktribe · 2021-08-06T05:12:41+00:00

Men and women aren’t accepting of each other

really? how many women would i find 50 years ago that would be okay with pegging me or in general being sexually dominant? how many women would i find 50 years ago that would be find my crossdressing hot instead of repulsive?

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-08-06T06:30:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JameisBong · 2021-08-06T07:02:26+00:00

Because it's all BS, people in PNW pretend to be accepting and they aren't. I've lived in Seattle so i know for a fact it's all an act

poppy_blu · 2021-08-06T08:13:21+00:00

Generally “we” aren’t more accepting, we’re less vocal about our biases. Big difference.

However accepting people doesn’t mean you’re required to date them.

DatingVX · 2021-08-06T09:06:07+00:00

Part of why I laugh at the social justice phase we are in. It's so pretentious. Stand up for human rights, but in private and close conversations treat your closest like trash.

Tek_Analyst · 2021-08-06T14:45:56+00:00

That’s because it’s all a facade. They’re protesting, marching and fighting for what they’ve been told is correct. What they’ve been told is right.

But they don’t apply it to their own lives because they don’t actually truly believe in it.

This reminds me of feminist women that play hard ball. I’m independent hear me roar. Then they meet a man that gets their juices flowing and all that goes out the window. Meek as a mouse.

Title	Are we less accepting today (of people) then we were 50 years ago?
Author	KickKathleeenKennedy
Upvotes	95
Comments	320
Date	August 6, 2021 1:06 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/oyw9nw/are_we_less_accepting_today_of_people_then_we/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-we-less-accepting-today-of-people-then-we-were.816267 https://theredarchive.com/post/816267

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