What are some examples of imbalanced relationships that stand/stood out to you in media? I’m currently rewatching Harry Potter for the first time since joining FDS, and I’m finding Hermione’s relationship with Ron… a lot less endearing than I used to 🥴

aquietsword · 2021-09-03T22:54:59+00:00

So so many CW shows romanticize toxic relationships. They love that shit on that network lol. Also Jim and Pam. Both were pretty meh as people individually, but after getting married it felt ridiculous. Letting your wife take care of two kids alone while you're off doing your dream job isn't the noble sacrifice scrotes tried to pretend it was.

HueyFreemansWaifu · 2021-09-03T22:51:12+00:00

Might get burned at the stake for this, but: Rachel and Ross. Rachel was beautiful, successful, and highly sought after. Ross never truly valued her, only his idea of her/her aesthetic. An example off the top of my head of this is when he makes that disgusting pros and cons list of her, mocking her job, her upbringing and her ankles. Rachel was thriving as a single mother and was offered her dream job in PARIS, yet gave it all up for his underwhelming ass 😕

Drpyroxene · 2021-09-03T23:04:23+00:00

Ugh I never liked Hermione and Ron. She deserved better. And not even Harry. Other comments are Ross and Rachel, agree, Ross was trash, and Jim and Pam, Jim was pathetic.

stackofwits · 2021-09-03T23:40:20+00:00

You know that shit is fiction because I feel like if she was a real person Hermione Granger would never.

Wild_Artio · 2021-09-04T01:57:59+00:00

Yeah Ron was abusive!!

All relationships in Grey’s Anatomy are pickme women with asshole emotionally abusive men. All relationships in sex and the city are that way as well. It’s actually hard to find good relationships in media!

I’m currently rewatching Downton Abbey and the relationship between Matthew and Mary Crawley seemed mutual, and he was high value. I wonder if anyone on here would agree!

top_of_the_stairs · 2021-09-03T22:39:55+00:00

The Giving Tree. FUCK that boy.

Strict_Leopard1707 · 2021-09-03T23:28:36+00:00

Phil Dunphy and Claire from Modern Family. He's such a beloved character and Claire is portrayed as a controlling uptight wife. In reality he's a total manchild and she's parenting him and their 3 kids and is only "uptight" because she's sick of his shit. And she's way out of his league.

jfk31989 · 2021-09-04T03:02:30+00:00

Miranda and Steve from Sex and the City. I used to LOVE Steve when I first started watching it now I can’t stand him. She should have dumped him when she found the skid marks!

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-09-03T22:28:29+00:00

Oof even before I found this sub I hated it. And no it wasn’t “so much better” in the books. I guess better than the movies but that’s a low bar. They still bickered and he negged the shit out of her. He acted petulant and jealous a lot, while also never having the balls to tell her how he felt (til the end I guess). There was no chemistry either.

zealousandvain · 2021-09-03T23:12:14+00:00

Gossip Girl's Blair and Chuck. I love that show and thought it was so romantic when I was a teen. Looking back, their relationship is sooo toxic lol.

eggtimertiger · 2021-09-03T22:45:14+00:00

Pretty Woman always creeped me out, and it does even more now.

hyperjinxx · 2021-09-04T00:50:32+00:00

Ross and Rachel’s relationship on Friends. So no one told you that Ross is a huge NVM. 👏👏👏👏

misspellmyname99 · 2021-09-03T23:10:27+00:00

Similar to this- I was getting a blowout yesterday and they were playing A Walk to Remember. I grew up with seeing this movie in movie theaters in high school. As I was watching, no wonder I grew up with such skewed expectations for how a man was supposed to treat me.

Bad boy changes fuck boy antics when he meets the right/nice girl.

NO.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-09-04T02:30:05+00:00

I’ve never liked the manipulative protagonist of The Notebook, but i think a lot More people agree with me now than did when it first came out.

creamtart_ · 2021-09-04T00:15:49+00:00

There are far too many to list. Like almost all portrayals of relationships. The only enemies to lovers situation I’ve seen done well is Jake and Amy from B99. Still not the best relationship, since Jake’s a manchild and Amy is constantly mothering him. I think that because there are so many trash couples, it’s good to look for examples of positive relationships.

I think Roy and Keeley from Ted Lasso are a good example of a healthy relationship. Roy is just straight up HV. Also Johnny and Moira from Schitts Creek are a good example too.

I read an interesting comment on the Ted Lasso sub about healthy relationship portrayal. If a couple getting together is a main plot point of a show and it’s portrayed as healthy and mature, that makes for boring TV, but it’s great as a side plot. So I’m wondering if we only see shitty relationships on TV/film because people want drama.

Watching a couple maturely hash out their differences might be great irl, but that’s pretty dry for TV. However, seeing characters develop, grow and learn from their shittiness is great to see. I think a lot of good writing is heading in that direction and avoiding tired tropes.

FireflySky86 · 2021-09-04T18:29:52+00:00

Surprised no one has listed this pairing but imo the ABSOLUTE WORST would be Harley Quinn and the Joker. Anyone who glorifies that relationship is 100% cringe.

silentlyrunning94 · 2021-09-04T01:56:40+00:00

Meredith and Derek. He was married and the power dynamics was a big no-no. After breaking up in the beginning of the show, he slut-shamed her and they still got back together. He never valued her until it was convenient for him.

Altowhovian93 · 2021-09-04T14:41:24+00:00

Christine and the phantom; and then her husband in the sequel from phantom of the opera. She should have dumped both of them and kept her opera singing career. Granted the whole play was written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, a lot of the songs are projections on how he was treating his at the time wife, Sarah brightman, the original Christine. If you actually listen to the lyrics of all I ask of you, it’s saying as long as she’s loved she doesn’t need anything else. Woman, you have the voice of an Angel, you can also have standards!!!

QueensJuju · 2021-09-04T05:39:46+00:00

Xander in Buffy the Vampire slayer. Lots of problems with that "feminist" show but Xander fucked up every single relationship he had and he deserved NONE of those women. He drooled over Buffy and was passive aggressive when she didn't want his soft, incapable ass, while ignoring Willow who he actually had things in common with. Then he lands Cordelia, whose gorgeous and motivated and cheats on her with Willow - because it's about acquisition and his own ego, not love. Anya gives up ETERNITY to become human for him and he leaves her at the altar when a demon convinces him that he's going to grow up to be an abusive misogynist just like his father. He doesn't go to therapy or anything to make sure that doesn't happen, he just ends the relationship, even after it all comes out as false demon lies, because he admits that he fears it's a possibility that he cannot control. I remember when Dawn is sad because she finds out she's not a slayer, and so she's not special, Xander gives the speech about how they are extraordinary because they are ordinary but doing what the extraordinary do anyway. His weak ass is NOT extraordinary, he would have died on the hell mouth if he wasn't surrounded by strong powerful women! It was in his best damn interest not to leave their sides, and his fragile ego couldn't deal.

Diane and Sam on Cheers. I remember loving the show as a kid, all the friendly regulars and zany shenanigans. But every relationship Diane has is with an older man who abuses his position of power (her professor, her boss, her psychiatrist). Her and Sam fight constantly, she actually goes into a psych ward over it, then all Sam's friends drag her back because he went off the wagon when she left...at the end of the series they actually toss in a throwaway line or two about him seeking treatment for sex addiction. It was a painful rewatch 😕

Everything I was shown as a kid is just awful. Grease (become a bad girl to keep a bad boy instead of being true to yourself and focusing on school); Little Mermaid (sell your voice for dick); Beauty & the Beast (heal a violent monster who kidnaps your father with your magical womanly ways).

CNhuman · 2021-09-04T02:41:45+00:00

I actually feel like Fred could have been very good with Hermione. If you look at their interactions in the books and movies, it really seems like he cares about her and respects her, and just didn't make a move because of her thing with Ron.

theredwolf07 · 2021-09-03T23:07:03+00:00

Ron was definitely a scrote.

ConstantNurse · 2021-09-04T01:31:40+00:00

I hated the romance of Ron and Hermione even back then but then I shipped Pumpkin Pie from clear back to when the books started. I still don't understand how Hermione could have even had the remotest crush on the jerk of the guy. He reeked of insecurity, got jealous over every guy she interacted with including Harry, and felt the need to belittle her over her intelligence.

But tbh, while Harry was better about being somewhat kinder and more respectful to Hermione, he could be a right ass when Ron and Hermione fought. However, I did like how the two of them regarded each other when alone together and fully trusted each other, even during the whole Hermione and Krum thing. I felt Harry understood Hermione much better than Ron did and actually listened to her (for the most part. Hermione was obviously a woman on the spectrum and she had struggles of her own, included long diatribes about her interests.)

But even so, I feel both her and Ginny should have ended up with people more suited to their personalities which wasn't Harry or Ron.

mitskiismygf · 2021-09-04T01:35:02+00:00

I never once got that relationship. Especially when people hated on Draco/Hermoine shippers for being “toxic” while supporting the canon ship. Hahahaha. Ron is a LVM twat. The 8th book everyone hates just confirmed that, too.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-09-04T03:05:40+00:00

A friend pointed out that the movies glossed over and cut out al the times Ron proved to actually be smart in the books. I haven’t read them in forever so I can’t think of specific examples (aside from the chess scene).

I can’t think of a single romance from popular media that isn’t toxic.

BlackGirlKnickers · 2021-09-04T03:37:49+00:00

The King of Queens. I went into a five minute rant after seeing a few seconds of a scene. That guys was awful in too many ways to count.

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2021-09-04T00:15:58+00:00

I just watched The Labyrinth with my son for his first time, so I was watching it through new eyes.

Um...Sarah is 16 years old, and Jareth is a grown-ass man trying to manipulate her!!! It's so gross!!!

Peak_Tree · 2021-09-04T02:49:22+00:00

Too many to count. I think a part of me enjoys c-dramas because of this. In those the ML is supossed to be handsome+ smart+ capable+ good at fighting+ whaterever else they can make him good at ( and half the time they make him rich too).

Nothing of that "unacomplished and badly dressed slob gets super hot and capable wife (and then complains because she is "a nag" ) " nonsense.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-09-04T03:11:09+00:00

I watched a few episodes of Boys Before Flowers but dropped it when I realized the FL would hook up with the abuser.

BlackGirlKnickers · 2021-09-04T03:33:31+00:00

Ron is trash. That was evident to me as a child. He deserves better but she settled. She had pickme tendencies too.

imtryingtotryhere · 2021-09-04T05:59:59+00:00

Twilight. Never understood the hype about such a creepy story

roonil_wazlib_the2nd · 2021-09-04T04:04:28+00:00

Speaking of hermione, what about her being 14 and dating 18yo Viktor Krum?

biwinny · 2021-09-04T05:48:55+00:00

Fiona Gallagher and literally every man she was with. Except the guy who owned the cup business, she did him dirty. Everyone else though, trash. Fiona is beautiful, responsible, extremely hardworking, smart, loving, empathetic, resourceful, and selfless.

Jimmy lied to her constantly, i mean ffs she didn't know his real name was Jimmy for 2 seasons. He would just take off and leave without notice and come back and pay for things to make up for it. He used her as a plan B anytime his life wasn't going well. Once he used her up and got her to trust him, he leaves again.

Sean didn't even love her tbh. He was never interested in her life or goals and also lied to her about being a heroine addict. Then he came back, asked her on a date just to tell her he got married to someone else ?!?! Why?????

Gus was boring idk was that the cup dude? Or are they different people? Idk

Ford was a self righteous asshole with no personality of his own. He negged her for EVERYTHING she did and judged every choice she made, but never celebrated her successes with her. He was such a "Aw, silly woman." Type guy.

ConfusedPanda17 · 2021-09-04T06:22:54+00:00

Chuck and Blair on Gossip Girl. Chuck was an awful, awful person but they romanticised him so much. Blair wasn't great but their relationship was toxic.

sluggish_prune · 2021-09-04T13:11:10+00:00

THE NOTEBOOK!!!

Loud_Foundation_9300 · 2021-09-04T03:32:09+00:00

I always thought Hermione would be sweet with a muggle. Having muggle parents and all. I know it’s not conductive to the books and better as a fan fiction but I really can’t see her with any character.

saint-jezebel · 2021-09-03T23:46:52+00:00

Jane Rizzoli and her boyfriend that was injured after being deployed. Initially it was ok, but after he was injured, he was a whole jerk and worst, she kept chasing him.

leekykeeks · 2021-09-06T19:55:49+00:00

Huge HP fan. Can’t go a single year without binging all the movies and used to think Ron and Hermione’s relationship was so cute. All that pining.

Now. Hermione…girl…you’re better than this.

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-09-07T06:06:40+00:00

Here is my list:

New Girl: Jess & Nick. Jessica is constantly putting so much effort into Nick, so he’d turn out to be a decent human being. They keep breaking up and getting back together which is stupid.

Sex/Life: Every character in that show. It’s just painful to watch.

Naruto: Sakura & Sasuke. I used to like Sakura because she’s super smart, but I always get upset that the writers did her so dirty by pairing her up with Sasuke. Throughout the whole series, I was hoping that she would forget about Sasuke as a love interest and just be with Naruto.

Mom: Every character that these ladies have hooked up with, or married. It seems as though, the show is trying to punish the female characters for their past.

Korean dramas: All of them. They play on the manic pixie dream girl trope a lot. I get so tired seeing girls argue/flirt with the male lead. It’s quite annoying and paints the female lead as desperate.

Sailor Moon: The old version was when Serena (Usagi) was with Darien (Tuxedo Mask). She was only 14 and he was a college student. It was creepy af. What made it worse was that the show legitimized their relationship with Rini, which is like their child from another planet. I know that the show was recently, re-vamped and they changed certain things about it, but I still remembered the old version that I saw when I was 8. To me, it’s low-key child grooming.

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