Daily Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2022-01-31T16:00:13+00:00

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc... in...

[–]WilliamWyattD [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurferson9 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]WilliamWyattD3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Thinking back methodically about HS and College, counting males I knew, and how many were dating, and for how long.

Was kinda amazed at the HS numbers. Basically, most guys had virtually nothing. Maybe one drunken kiss. Dated a girl once for 2 weeks and little happened. All the wildness and crazy stories, the drama, all the same guys over and over.

And mostly with the same girls. The girls group was maybe twice as large as the boys, so some recycling.

Get to college, and it wasn't THAT different. More one-off sex encounters for average guys with average girls. Basic thing is that the average girls never really considered that the 'juice was worth the squeeze' for the average boys. They were OK, but not worth complicating one's life over. Sex was complicating in HS, but not so much in College. But a real relationship was.

The average guys I knew in College that dated seriously were all cases of an average girl husband hunting early--usually by Junior or Senior year. And then they'd stay serious after college and often at least try to marry. Some started that in HS, but rarely.

So really, long before OLD, I cannot think of many average girls going for their equivalent 'just for thrills and fun'. They had to be incentivized by serious considerations of life sharing and baby making. But then, in time, they could grow to appreciate one another. Saw that, too.

Anyways, waking up and rambling. No real point. Just an interesting exercise. Maybe point is average guys should stop thinking they gonna be casual sex machines. Get serious. Get serious early. Be a good partner. Live with that.

[–]Any_Championship_6542 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah, I was more reminiscing incoherently here on HS and college in the 1980s/1990s. Just looking for trends with new eyes, long before OLD and Tinder, etc.

A lot of the average girls didn't ride the CC very much then. Just a bit, once or twice. But still didn't match up with average guys for fun. Only when life told them it was time to be serious. Most of it was probably just they weren't that attracted.

Could also be that the Female Social Matrix is also calibrated to somehow reinforce this dynamic. A lot of the average girls have social connections to the hotter girls. They are considered part of the club, which tries to maintain a superficial veneer of equality. You can feel kinda equal to the hot girl with a hot boyfriend when you are the single average girl. But once the average girl gets a boyfriend who is clearly inferior, her secondary status becomes clear. There is even covert shaming.

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[–]WilliamWyattD1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sure. But let's leave working life out of it for a sec. Was just thinking about the jungle that is HS/College.

Even before OLD, was HS/College always that much of a Darwinian Mad Max movie for guys with dating? I'm trying to do a retrospective as objectively as I can, as I think my impressions were a bit off. For many complex reasons, my perspective on HS/College is going to be really unique and I'd naturally have trouble seeing the real patterns. But was opening up yearbooks and just doing headcounts and thinking about their dating lives.

Was just 'nope nope. nope.' one guy after another lol Not the same for girls, but most of them also didn't really have steady romantic lives. Wondering just what it was that stopped more average guys and girls from fucking each other blind back then lol?

Without OLD, the 'cock carousel' definitely was not the thing that many assert it is today.

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I'd argue most men here are in the average range, give or take. Anger usually comes from a feeling of unfairness, tuly bottom of the barrel guys wouldn't be delusional enough to think they should have much success dating, whereas average guys might think they should have more than nothing.

I think the big thing is the perception (whether true or not) that women's preferences shifted to become much more about immutable characteristics. Whereas average guys might feel that in the past, being a caring lover and father with a decent income and some mutual chemistry would be enough to at least get a girl on their level interested, now they feel that a woman would rather be used by an extremely hot guy who treats her badly, rather than be with am overall decent guy who's not top tier in looks.

Is that true or not? We all have our positions I suppose.

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[–]343_peaches_and_tea1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There's still a limit to that change. People have personality limits.

The really ugly guy I know who managed to still get dates did so because he was literally the most charismatic person I'd ever met. I can't expect ugly dudes to be as charismatic as the more charismatic person I know to get dates. You're probably not going to get there.

Just because something can change doesn't mean it's something that can be changed intentionally.

The social situation friendship one is a good example. You can't get better socially by yourself.

...

Do I think you can change some amount of your personality? Sure. Can people have a personality transplant and become someone completely different? No way. But that's really not much different to looks or wealth or intelligence.

All of these things you can change but there are limits

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[–]gimpgirl5550 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It has already happened to me and probably will soon again.

That's pretty bad because women do all the hiring, as you know. You should start looking for a new job.

It's like they put all that energy into bitchiness when we put it into looks,feelings and being introspective. It's like they figured this would give them the best results.

It's very schizo:

"We hate men!" / "Boohoo men don't want us!"

"Give us a career!" / "it's not fair that we have to work!"

"Fat acceptance!" / "you can't just follow thots on the gram!"

I think everyone is tired of them and just wants them to go away.

And Millennial women are everywhere at work. Soon guys wont have any hot women at work thanks to them.

Yea. If you're a hot Millennial you can't really work. You either have to stay home or work in some field with no women.

For Zoomers it's gonna be even worse, because Millennial women will be your bosses. You gotta find a way to work for men.

Btw GenX women aren't nearly as bad. Even Boomer women are funnier and not as bitchy

I've never been around genX women, I wouldn’t know. I only know Boomers.

Btw. Would Zoomers be impressed by one of those inflatable pools? I'm thinking of getting one.

https://youtu.be/P5bDARjvGhs

I wanna get one to lure thots. "Hey girls, wanna have a smoothie in the hot tub?".

(I asked about it yesterday but I got femsplained to by another Millennial lol)

[–]Consistent_Wear_12242 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah unfortunately. Not only do they not hire me, they act bitchy and condescending towards me on the interview so I know what the answer will be.

I was recently fired from a male- dominated job, the middle boss was a woman and she fired me bc all the women on the team(and some men) hated me. I once saw them mock me when they didn't know I was there. The one woman who hated me the most was called "feisty queen"(if that's the correct translation)by somd dude who liked her and hated me, you can imagine what she's like

I'm on my second job now and I was hired by the male boss(Millennial) who interviewed me himself. He told me almost immediately that I'll be starting to work there. The problem are the Millennial women who work on my team and are supposed to teach me my job. They are all fake nice and speak with such an air of importance. One of them is a total tyrant who seems to think she's the boss. Idk how this will work out.

I feel like GenX women are more genuinelly bitchy, just because they feel that way. They aren't evil and callous. I feel like Millennial women care about male attention and competing with other women except they refuse to put in any work. I feel like GenX women aren't even aware of such things lol

Cool:D like the inflatable hot pools! I also like those big cute inflatable pool floats bc I'm a total kid. That's a good idea!

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you can overcome it with work or talent or whatever.

See this is why I always talk about "lived experience", here's an obviously average or even handsome man telling me that "you can overcome it with work or talent or whatever", how does he know that? Like, have you ever had an ugly face? No?Then how do you think you can say shit like this? I'm seriously asking, not even trolling.

It's that there is nothing that can be done for some guys in terms of getting a decent girl?

Yes, it's reality(and implied in your OP and I respected the hell out of you for a minute cause of it)

Do you think that is the source of the frustration and then anger?

Yeah, there's hell of a lot more to life than sex and relationships, but the thing is your body isn't bugging the hell out of you to seek out those other things and it doesn't make you feel like shit when you don't get them.

[–]WilliamWyattD1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I do agree that we have a culture that is constantly titillating everyone's sex drives. It is also telling us that our sexual success is the measure of you as a person. At the same time, these same forces are constantly increasing everyone's focus on physical appearance when choosing partners.

So this is like a bespoke Hell for guys who have physical characteristics that now put them out of the game entirely. Maybe 50 years ago they would have had just about the same lack of success, though a bit more probably.

But back then, they would have at least felt they had a shot to compete for romance, even if heavily handicapped. Moreover, if they failed, their sex drives were not constantly spun into overdrive with images of sex everywhere. Nor was their sense of envy taunted at every turn with digital content of beautiful people enjoying beautiful lives with other beautiful people, having beautiful kids in beautiful houses and being validated as successful and great people by the other beautiful people. This is a recipe for torment.

Back in say 1950, a guy who was going to stay celibate could aim at a non-sexualized piece of the world where he could still maintain platonic relationships with people. No constant titillation of his unsatisfied sex drive. And his lack of attractiveness or romantic success was not constantly held over him, diminishing the esteem he received in his local world. He could, effectively, put sex behind him. But now, sex puts many guys behind it, but never lets them put sex behind them.

So yeah, I do get that, now that coffee is rolling through the veins and I think this through.

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a lot of people

How many are we talking about here?

Surely you're not suggesting Schizophrenics or other mentally ill people are stuck in complacency.

Or that people that were born into poverty in Africa are stuck in complacency and just lack courage to change their situation.

In those cases I think we can admit that environmental factors are beyond their ability to control and change them.

So why is it a stretch to say that... let's take "incels" have been perhaps endowed with certain unattractive genetic traits, like ugliness; and also that through environmental and social influences have been beaten down into being anti-social, bitter, and confused.

Perhaps you'll say they didn't have a choice to become incels, but they have a choice to not be incels now. I don't know from whence you think they get this magical ability to not be something they've always been?

[–]Notanothrshitthrow1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

How many are we talking about here?

Out of my ass estimate would be 35%, the rest just don't know how. Social aptitude is something that can be learned and taught.

Surely you're not suggesting Schizophrenics or other mentally ill people are stuck in complacency.

They can be if they know they're mentally ill yet don't pursue treatment.

Or that people that were born into poverty in Africa are stuck in complacency and just lack courage to change their situation.

Escaping crippling poverty is completely different from going outside and talking to people.

So why is it a stretch to say that... let's take "incels" have been perhaps endowed with certain unattractive genetic traits, like ugliness; and also that through environmental and social influences have been beaten down into being anti-social, bitter, and confused.

Because plenty of ugly people are bullied, yet end up in relationships. The world is filled with them (at least from my experiences). Most ugly people don't turn towards a community filled with extreme misogyny.

Perhaps you'll say they didn't have a choice to become incels, but they have a choice to not be incels now. I don't know from whence you think they get this magical ability to not be something they've always been?

Many people have changed their lives for the better. And hell, they may not have had much choice in being a virgin (though I would argue it's still within their ability to change), but they certainly had a choice in becoming an "incel" and associating themselves with a community that is filled with extreme hatred, misogyny and threats of violence.

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Shit, I think I'm getting sick! Not sure if it's just a sinus infection or ...? We ordered the government-issue test kits but they haven't arrived yet. I'm not so much worried for myself -- I've worked with pneumonia or bronchitis lots of times -- but I hate the thought of someone else maybe catching it from me if it really is the Big C. At the same time, I have other people (mainly cow people, lol) relying on my paycheck; I don't have paid sick leave and can't really afford to take a day off without knowing for sure what's going on here.

I'm signed up on-call with two night jobs and just hope no one needs me tonight; don't think I'm up to 14 hours of sweeping and mopping. Sigh.

Loaded up on pills so I'm good to go I guess. I'll keep my mask on, head down and try to coast through the day without anyone noticing my sneezing, lol.

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Nice (not) work if you can get it! :-D

Otherwise, one of the de rigueurs of the servant class is that we're always having a wonderful day! We're never sick; we're never in pain; at least as long as a client is watching (or might be keeping an eye on us over their home security system). We are always cheerful and simply filled with pep and energy! And we LOVE cleaning your filthy. fucking. houses.

For years I had tenditis on and off in my forearm and sometimes wore an elastic support on it. I had a client who noticed and asked me about it several times, which is unusual (most people don't pay any attention to their housecleaner and certainly don't care how she's feeling). Only later did it occur to me that he must have thought I was an IV drug user trying to conceal tracks, and was probably worried I'd steal something. Dude probably counted the silverware after I left!

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She more than likely has someone who would date her for more than sex. She has value, objectively.

Not amongst high value men.

This is the issue, if indeed he's even that much hotter than her! Could be that fuckboys are gonna fuckboy.

Well I’m assuming she’s only going after the hottest guys since she’s on FDS. They make it clear their goal is to snag that top 1% of men

To steal another phrase from this thread,what did you think? Did you think at fuckboys are going around saying "oh it's a shame this woman doesn't have good LTR traits"?

It depends the guy. There are actually plenty of men that think exactly that. Unfortunately so many woman have no idea how to provide anything that would make a man want to stay.

Is that what you think? No, they don't even think about it. They have sex for fun because that's what they want. Plenty of men will cheat on their looksmatch or turn her down for anything more than sex. Your fellow TERPers will attest to that.

I don’t even know what a TERP is. Indeed plenty of men will cheat and plenty of average looking guys aren't good guys. That’s the whole reason these women don’t want to settle. The men who get sex at will do so because that market exists.

My point isn’t that men are all great. It’s that when most women are competing for such a small fraction of men it creates a market where these men can fuck pretty much any woman they want to.

If you want to have a broader discussion about men and women outside of FDS context I’m more than happy to. I call out BS on both sides.

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If the guy spends nothing on the first date or tries to split the bill, that's a red flag too.

Depends what you’re looking for. Which goes back to my point that a lot of y’all look for the wrong things.

But the point is that even if there are no obvious red flags, most of the guys will still be pos at worst...

Or maybe dating isn’t easy for everyone involved?

I’m not going to pretend like there aren’t a large portion of men that put on an act to get sex. That is real and women need to be aware of it. Stuff like that is where I agree with FDS. Don’t rush into things, vet properly. Make sure he respects you as a person and the most important thing for me is… if he shows you who he is, believe him. Both sides are on their best behavior early on so any red flags are just the tip of the iceberg.

Relationships working out is NOT the norm for any woman. There is some extreme degree of luck required.

That applies to everyone. Women are also flawed and enter the dating world with baggage. I hate that FDS has so many women acting like they’re perfect and the guy should be lucky to be blessed with her presence.

[–]xxCrabMasterxx [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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If everything that isn’t Redpill is classed as Bluepill, then you can just focus on the more ridiculous bits of dating advice you’ve heard and act like anyone who isn’t Redpill believes that.

Yep.

Honestly, ask anyone if they have to be physically attracted to someone to like them and the vast majority will say yes. I don’t know where RedPillers got the idea that “looks don’t matter” is widely believed

A couple of guys have told me they got the idea from their “feminist mother” and from movies. Maybe the types of guys who go red pill just took way to much stock in dating advice from their mothers, which seems like an odd person to get it from anyway. I’m a woman and don’t even follow my mom’s lame old fashioned dating advice. I’m not even going to get into how they believed the “get a woman as a reward” trope movies do, and blame women for that idea for some reason… Those movies are made by men, women aren’t the ones writing fantasies of being a trophy for the main character.

[–]NotanothrshitthrowNo Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]NotanothrshitthrowNo Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Believe all you want, it's what I've seen. The vast majority of people accept that looks matter. It's true that a lot of people don't think they're the be all and end all either, but that's true of TRP as well (i.e. the concept of game). If you believe that only looks matter, then you're blackpill.

Edit - petty lil fella blocked me before I could reply 😂 so here's my response to the fella below:

I have been active a lot on dating/relationship subs and I rarely see sentiments akin to "looks don't matter at all". Is there idealistic nonsense there? Sure, but I've also seen a lot of realistic advice (such as working out, improving your sense of style, learning how to talk to women etc).

Maybe try gaslighting somewhere else, because it's complete BS to say this isn't mainstream.

You don't know what Gaslighting is. Someone having a different view to you is not Gaslighting.

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I totally get his frustration at the house not being clean but one month post partum and he thinks she should be recovered? Birth is extremely hard on the body and if she had a c-section it is more difficult to recover physically from that. It honestly sounds like she has post partum depression and needs some help either with a therapist or medication.

I do think it's funny all the guys in this comment section who think that everything is fine and dandy after one month. Like, I was still bleeding at one month past partum. I still couldn't step over the ledge of my bath tub to get into the shower. I couldn't wear anything besides sweat pants because jeans would irritate my incision. I was exhuasted all the time because i could only sleep in increments of an hour and a half. For the first two weeks after my son was born my legs would randomly go numb so i was scared to hold him standing up. I could go on and that doesn't even go into the mental toll of having a baby.

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I can buy that his wife is having medical episodes and depression from post-delivery.

Post partum depression is usually attributed to low iron levels. Now that she's no longer pregnant she can talk to her doctor and take higher doses of iron supplements. The only legit thing would be if she had a cesarean or a blood transfusion. But if she just had a birth, well, what would she do if she had other small children to take care of at the same time?

Also, housework and meal preparation can be a lot. I’m sympathetic.

She's only cooking for two people, and the man only eats dinner, maybe breakfast. So there's not a lot of cooking to be done. Kids up to 5 years old eat about every two hours, older than that about every three hours.

Say in a couple of years from now she's home with three small kids instead of a newborn who sleeps all the time, she's not gonna be able to sleep through the day.

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I have an absolute bizarre redpilling story to tell.

One of my friends from university was engaged to this woman from the USA he’d met in a summer camp years ago. They were in an LDR, and she was supposed to come to the UK this year to marry him. They’re both 23. A month before closing the gap, she cheated with one of the dude’s friends in the USA. Her family was abusive, so she stayed with this man, and this happened. The worst part was that she was cheating for a whole month, but she let her fiancée go through all the trouble of working two jobs to support her Visa and all her applications and stuff. Hell, I watched him in class struggling so much because he desperately wanted to qualify to bring her here. She threw away years of relationship to be with that dude, and the worst part is… she never even called him to break up or give him some closure. He found it through a mutual friend and saw that he was blocked, and her social media had a date of two days after they had broken up as her Instagram status, signifying her new relationship, I suppose.

This is brutal. I was speechless when he told me. He’s been in therapy for the last six months, and his therapist said he’s developed some sort of PTSD because of what his ex did. Man comes to uni looking like a zombie. I genuinely feel bad for him.

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In my experience men get a lot more enjoyment out of receiving anal than women do, as prostrate stimulation can cause great orgasms for them. Yet the men here that are so adamant that a women would do anal if she as attracted to a man are also totally against getting pleasured that way. It’s like they have assigned all this additional “meaning” behind each sex act - so they think a woman receiving anal means she really likes the guy, and a woman giving anal means she thinks of him as a pussy or something, and a woman liking fisting means she’s a tramp who has had sex with lots of big dick chads, and a woman wanting to use a vibrator on her clit during sex means she isn’t attracted to the guy, etc etc.

I feel like many people here purposely restrict themselves from actual good sex just because they’ve added all these hidden meanings behind everything.

All the men I’ve been with haven’t had any issue when I said I didn’t want anal (or any sex act really) even if I had done it before, but I don’t think I ever dated such insecure babies as I’ve seen here. I actually started liking anal when I was older for some reason, maybe my muscles relaxed a bit with age.

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Hmm. Tricky subject. There are different kinds of pain.

But even the good pain, and leaning into it, is kinda degenerate to me IMO. It's like going down the hedonism path too far. But yeah, there are men and women who are into it, and it really can be an advanced art of pleasure thing, for both genders. But I'm gonna take my regular orgasms and call it a day. Good enough.

I feel the same way about really advanced male sexuality. Like men can actually equal, maybe even surpass, women in terms of capacity for sexual pleasure. But you gotta get all technical and shit. Learn how to orgasm without ejaculation. Or train the prostate over a long period.

But I spent time with a lot of gay guys during my club days. They got kind of explicit. Basically, I learned that once you fully train the prostate, the bottom actually has more pleasure than the top. The bottom can basically be in perma orgasm for an hour with the right training and top.

But I've decided some countries are best left undiscovered. No pegging for me.

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

But even the good pain, and leaning into it, is kinda degenerate to me IMO

I mean, I'm a degenerate... i like watching that shit and i like it a lil rough and spicy, a good ass slap. But the thought of doing the things they do in bdsm videos to a real person, especially one that is smaller and weaker than me... i wouldn't feel good. And it would concern me if my partner was getting off on my real pain and submission

I feel the same way about really advanced male sexuality.

for sure!! Men are actually very complex. The amount of different little moves and things you can play around with, both dick and prostate, and the different reactions and responses... amazing. My bf says his ears are ringing and he can't see after some of my more "detailed works," which is a far more intense reaction then I've ever felt. I think men get carried away with the "conquistador" side of sex that they forget to focus on and ask for the actual pleasure

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I was just having a conversation which I will paraphrase where I pointed out that men like strict monogamy, to which she responded with cheating stats (from 1947) but her point was if men wanted strict monogamy they wouldn't cheat.

Despite the fact that her own stats claimed cheating was not the norm, she seemed to imply that if ANY cheating was occurring from even the minority of men, then they didn't truly want monogamy.

I can want to be on a diet and eat a piece of cake. This doesn't indicate I don't want to be on a diet. It indicates I fell short of my goal in my opinion.

Men wanting strict monogamy was an ideal. They wanted to try and overcome their baser selves. They tried to hold themselves to a standard that for some was unrealistic. When women are given say, we get what we have now, hedonism for all to see that isn't just out in the open, but celebrated.

This brings me back to my question, do women even care about trying to be better people than they could be? Is it not a worthwhile pursuit to try, even if you fail?

In my opinion, holding society to strict monogamy was worthwhile because it made everyone try to be better.

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The counterargument is that enforced widespread monogamy may go against most men's nature, but most of them never really had anything to sacrifice anyways. They weren't gonna get one girl without it, much less many that they then have to sacrifice.

Meanwhile, so many of the higher tier men who would have to make sacrifices with monogamy found ways to avoid paying the cost by cheating, seeing prostitutes, having mistresses, etc. And the high level women who should have been big winners by getting an Alpha to themselves were thus also cheated.

Meanwhile, it is the bulk of women who paid the erotic price. Women who would have been able to avoid sleeping with men they found repulsive by either being honest 2nd or 3rd wives to Alphas, by fucking around with Alphas when they needed a sex fix but remaining single, or just by being celibate. Monogamy was all about denying women's evolutionary prerogative to avoid having sex with men who didn't make the grade. It was about giving women to unworthy men. It was always about women sacrificing erotically for the benefit of society as a whole.

And after six or more millennia, women are simply done fucking unattractive guys. They'd rather die. They'd rather civilization burn. Men have had thousands of years of sexual socialism. FIND. ANOTHER. WAY.

[–]Special-Armadillo-990 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The counterargument is that enforced widespread monogamy may go against most men's nature, but most of them never really had anything to sacrifice anyways. They weren't gonna get one girl without it, much less many that they then have to sacrifice.

In nature do you mean? At least in nature they could just fight for the resources and women they wanted, or die trying.

Now they have zero choice

Meanwhile, so many of the higher tier men who would have to make sacrifices with monogamy found ways to avoid paying the cost by cheating, seeing prostitutes, having mistresses, etc.

Apex fallacy?

And the high level women who should have been big winners by getting an Alpha to themselves were thus also cheated.

So this is all about peak males?

Meanwhile, it is the bulk of women who paid the erotic price. Women who would have been able to avoid sleeping with men they found repulsive by either being honest 2nd or 3rd wives to Alphas, by fucking around with Alphas when they needed a sex fix but remaining single, or just by being celibate. Monogamy was all about denying women's evolutionary prerogative to avoid having sex with men who didn't make the grade. It was about giving women to unworthy men. It was always about women sacrificing erotically for the benefit of society as a whole.

This is absolute fucking nonsense. Monogamy was the trade off. Women didn't get to use their sexual advantage and men didn't get to use their natural strength advantage.

You can't suggest monogamy benefits men more without recognizing that the only reason men agreed to give up their strength advantage. This is why society worked.

Women have outsourced men's protection to society as a whole and now think they are too good to keep their end of the social bargain

And after six or more millennia, women are simply done fucking unattractive guys.

Men are simply done not beating people up and taking what they want, do you hear how that sounds? Does that sound noble to you? No? Well neither is women denying their end of the social bargain

They'd rather die.

They are welcome to.

They'd rather civilization burn.

Luckily for them that will take some time.

Imagine having a granddaughter in a post apocalypse who is treated like cattle and trying to explain to her that she could have had an easy life in a stable society but she's a slave because it was more worth it to have chad dick then secure society for their grandchildren. Does that sound noble? As if some injustice is being righted?

No. It sounds ridiculous and petty.

Men have had thousands of years of sexual socialism. FIND. ANOTHER. WAY.

There is no logical other way. If women are so petty they'd rather society burn to the ground than make any compromise how could we?

You don't negotiate with terrorists

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See this is exactly what I'm talking about. You know how powerful your brain is? You can hypnotize people to quit smoking, your body can heal itself just by believing a sugar pill is a cure for what ails you.

This isn't about reasoning attraction. Do you think every married couple who stayed together forever thought they diaper ridden geriatric partner was sexy?

This is what I meant when I said men TRY to be better at the very least, some fall short but most don't.

Women don't even think it's worth it to try and be better, they are not at the same stage of maturity, intelligence or nobility as a result.

Only one half of the population believes its worthwhile to be anything but your animal instincts and yet we are suppose equal?

Do you not see why religion has repeatedly condemned women? It's because of this exact attitude. Men try, women just give in to every animal urge they have, and have zero shame in it even though it's objectively primitive behavior.

Please explain why men should treat women as equals when women don't care to try and be equal?

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sex rates in the elderly don't prove that the elderly see other elderly as the ideal, just that they want sex.

That said, plenty of married couples stay in sexless marriages for a variety of reasons

What do sexless marriages have to do with it.

Incels aren’t incels because women are powerless. Incels are incels because they can’t spark a woman’s attraction in the first place

And ?

Why would anyone - male or female - build a life with someone without attraction binding them together to begin with?

Because shallow instinctual attraction is primitive criteria on which to base such a relationship.

To be better than your instincts. To actually use your God given free will to deny the monkey inside.

Men do it all the time. My theory is that since men have more and harder instincts to do terrible things they deny all the time, they have gained more self control and morality and intelligence in terms of knowing how to deny yourself that which is not logical, or to embrace what is logical or practical over what is instinctual.

Women do not have those same instincts to any comparable level. So women never have to, or don't see themselves as having to deny instincts. It's perfectly acceptable for a woman to behave like an animal, the animal of her instincts.

A man would land very quickly in jail if he showed a similar lack of self control, therefore he exercises control more often and this, like a muscle, is a skill that grows over time.

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There’s no incentive for women to want to be with or stay with someone who she isn’t personality-compatible, worldview-compatible, and sexually-compatible with anymore.

Marriage 1.0 made it so women benefitted to commit to a man even if they didn’t get along, even if they had no shared interests or worldviews, and even if they had no mutual sexual chemistry.

The women and men who are finding the bolded are likely staying together in this current landscape.

It’s majorly the couples who would have coexisted in resentment or unmoving indifference 100 years ago, who aren’t lasting.

As far as men “committing to a lifetime.” Eh. Study the higher MV men and what they do before you insist that it’s “Women” are failing. In the same way you gave little credit to women who prefer LTRs, I can’t give much credit to the dude who stays because he feels he has no leverage or choices otherwise. I also would say that any man who has cheated in his “life long” union has “failed” too.

Unless failure means exclusively not staying to you.

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[–][deleted]5 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Cheating was not my only argument and you know it. You stated men would be happy if they were able to marry one woman and were strictly monogamous. I stated “serially monogamous, maybe”. Not only did men cheat while married, I pointed out how common it was for men to have more than one lifetime sex partner. I pointed out how common prostitution was. You tried to hamster your way out, at one point even suggesting that the 80,000 prostitutes in London during the Victorian era were probably all servicing “widowers”

There has NEVER in history been strict monogamy for men. I used examples from 1947 and Victorian England as examples, because those are times in which “family values” were prominent. I showed you evidence that men were fucking plenty of hookers. No males were content to wait for marriage, but it was absolutely expected of women.

[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I showed you evidence from your own link that wives in Victorian England were prostitution themselves.

Of course they were…you are starting to get a clue. Congratulations. Every man wants to fuck plenty of women, not “a” woman, and then they want the pure virginal girl to marry and have babies with. You guys don’t get both. It’s not mathematically possible unless you start killing each other on mass.

“One in five Londoners had syphilis by age 35 in the late 18th century, historians estimate. Syphilis was just part of the considerable venereal disease problem in 18th-century London. “A far greater number would have contracted gonorrhea or chlamydia than contracted syphilis in this period,” the historians point out.” Don’t think that vd would have been that common if everyone was n=1

And it was expected of men to be strictly monogamous too or else men would have been able to marry multiple women

I’ve pointed out repeatedly…men in 2022 are still only able to marry one woman, so this must be a “strictly monogamous “ society?

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I think it depends on the population too.

I’m of West African descent.

We have greater lean body mass / muscle density than let’s say your average Western European or your average East Asian.

Anecdotally I’ve always felt this way. Look at Olympic sprinters. And growing up even when we were all on the sports team and fit, us black girls had bigger thighs than our white and East Asian peers. Black female ballet dancers experience and talk about this often. In no world are those women “fat” but they get called too big or too muscular or too shapely by those in their industry all the time. And I’m sure their BMI is higher than their peers.

Apparently what does apply, however, is the highly sensitive “problem” of the black body itself: the feet, the buttocks, the bone structure. Only two of ballet's Brahmins were unavailable for comment on that subject or on any other aspect of the black dancer in classic companies. Despite persistent attempts to reach them, George Balanchine of the New York City Ballet and Lucia Chase of American Ballet Theater were either “in rehearsal” or “on vacation.” Jerome Robbins of the New York City Ballet discussed the subject briefly, but was willing to be quoted only as saying, “I don't do the hiring and firing.” NY Times

I notice this with Polynesians too. I think they probably have more density than those of my ethnicity.

TLDR: “BMI” standards work better at the ethnicity level than “heterogeneous population” level. Expressly because the BMI calculation doesn’t take into account body composition.

[–]CatoftheBanals3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This is true, but I feel like we keep getting bogged down in "borderline" cases or outliers on the discussion. If you've lived somewhere like the US South, you're not seeing a ton of muscular people of West African or Pacific Island descent who are being classified wrongly due to physical variation. You're seeing 400-pound people on Ramblers at the Kroger. I could be wrong because I'm not her, but I'd be very surprised if Gabby Douglas is being told she's fat or needs to lose weight due to her BMI, for example.

The same goes for the guys here obsessing over whether being too muscular has led to some massive misclassification of the American male. It hasn't. Doctors could probably do with more training on physical variance in different ethnic groups to better tailor their assessments for different populations and individual borderline cases, but largely our obesity epidemic is linked to being fat, not bone density or muscle. The guys here can pretend American men are just *too ripped* for their own good, but....come on.

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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little format nazi? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the paragraph length, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on properly formatted posts, and I have over 300 confirmed paragraph break removals. I am trained in wall of text warfare and I'm the top rambler in the entire PPD armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another pedant. I will wipe you the fuck out with long-windedness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of shitposters across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your paragraph formatting. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can bewilder you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in prolonged paragraphs, but I have access to the entire arsenal of PPD cringeposts and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

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Really more about crazy variability that women have in their sex drives.

And that’s fair to not relate.

Some chicks masturbate every day, and some say they can easily go years without doing anything.

My take?

Once a woman finds out that her hands or toy can cause an orgasm, that women will do so. She can still not have sex with someone nor not encounter any person she feels lust toward. But if she’s feeling down or in need of a pick me up, she remembers that that does the trick. It even helps momentarily reduce the pain of menstrual cramps or headaches. It’s less of a physiological compulsion and more of a, “oh yeah that does feel good when executed properly, shall we.”

Additionally, males and females experience puberty differently and have wholly different genitalia.

Boys have to touch their dicks to pee. They are accustomed to touching themselves. They also hit puberty and feel extreme urges to release sperm and thus masturbate.

Girls don’t go through that. We hit puberty and we get blood and cramps. Additionally, we are not accustomed to touching ourselves just because. Only time we touch down there is to clean it. So we don’t have this naturally occurring incentive to play with ourselves in an identical sense that boys do.

It's the same as difference in orgasms, some chicks cum from wind gently blowing on their vagina, and some need like 100000 RPM vibrator at the right angle directly on the clit for 5 hours.

The chicks who cum from the wind are in the minority. Never use outliers.

To my male brain, those extremes cannot possibly both be normal.

I get that.

But to my female brain, everything you listed is extremely explainable and entirely normal to the aggregate female experience.

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Or, as some evo psych theories believe, women are wired for serial monogamy. Men for polygamy. Mostly.

So female attraction is engineered such that it will bond a woman long enough to mate, and raise a child until it isn't an impediment to finding a new man.

The idea is that there is a transition cost to mate switching for women. Danger from the man she leaves, as well as lots of other issues. But evolution wants her to be more willing to swap mates. First, it is likely that her social network is constantly winding, so the best man available for her probably increases with quality over time, at least during her peak years.

Second, even a lateral move increases the genetic diversity of her children. More likely that some of them survive.

Thus the serial monogamy impulse tends to lower her desire for her current partner after a while. After 3-5 years, she sees him as less than he actually is. If he's a 7, she sees a 6 or even a 5, incentivizing her to find even another 7 and make it worth the trouble. However, if he really is a 10, she will often stay fully attracted to him, unless some new 9s are around.

So the male counter might be to marry so far down that you will always be the best option for your wife, even when she sees you as worse than your are. Of course, this would mean leaving some hotness on the table....Men don't like doing that.

[–]chilikettlechips1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Warning, CRINGE evo-psych hot take from the article.

A possible explanation that fits our data is that female sexual desire increases during the brief phase of passionate love. Nature may have arranged that as a way of encouraging the man to make a long-term commitment. Humans evolved from other great apes, but none of the other apes take fatherhood seriously, let alone provide daily food and shelter for their children’s mother over many years. Human men are remarkably different in that regard, and evolution had to arrange some serious changes to bring that about. Men’s sexual desire may have taken on an addictive character, so that men become attached and keep hoping for sex even when the yield of pleasure dwindles, as in some drug addictions. Meanwhile, nature arranged for women’s desire to increase temporarily during courtship. The couples in which the woman’s desire boosted enough to get the man hooked produced more children than others. We are descended from them.

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Isnt it funny how bisexual women will spend all day bitching about men

The women who self-admittedly have experienced lust for women that I know don’t “spend all day bitching about men”

Furthermore you basically described “straight women”

I saw a viral tweet that basically said: “Being a biwoman is finding a lot of women sexy and compatible and like one man like that.”

The replies and QRTs were all countless variations of “so being a straight woman????”

Then be like ohh its because more men are in the dating pool.

There are. On top of that, the men actually hit on us and pursue us relentlessly. Women are not about that life. Especially femme women. Bi women who like butch women have more leverage here.

If men where as bad as they claimed

Again this feels like a strawman. And if it were a thing, what makes this different than the straight women who complain about men and end up with a man?

then no they wouldnt end up with a dude.

If you’re a woman who wants a life with“status quo” favor and without “alt” “homophobic” discrimination, then a hetero lifestyle is more beneficial.

Additionally if she wants a baby it’s much cheaper with a man.

And If she values her child having an active and involved father, then the tradeoff for that is getting a man who loves you because then he will invest in your kids together.

There’s a lot of considerations and dynamics, whether unconscious or conscious, that go into a woman who perhaps genuinely finds women more arousing and more compatible, choosing a life with a man.

Again, straight women do it everyday, despite complaining about how she has nothing in common with him and/or hating his sexual touch. But alas, she wanted “stability” “normalcy” and an easy path to “family.”

TLDR: your OP is a lame and half-baked “gotcha”

[–]SpacedNuggets2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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Sperm banks are a thing, but someone genuinely do appreciate a man in the life of her child. The man will be more invested if she plays up being romantically interested in him. Again, tradeoffs.

You also have to consider this aspect:

If you’re a woman who wants a life with “status quo” favor and without “alt” “homophobic” discrimination, then a hetero lifestyle is more beneficial.

It’s the same reason straight-presenting men with non-straight desires, overwhelmingly choose to go the hetero lifestyle route. Do these men sometimes step out with men or desire men or occasionally wonder “what if”? Probably.

I agree with both your points. Discrimination still persists although the younger generations tend to be less homophobic. I still think men being much easier is the reason that most bisexual women end up with men. Although your points will give men edge over women in the dating scene.

[–]GridReXX1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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I do.

We matched on Tinder.

I did what I typically do “match” and then forget about the app. But she was smart in that she secured my # pretty quickly.

And then from there she sort of “persisted” in my text messages. She would create prompts “did you hear about??” that she knew I would respond to. So we had a lot of conversation. But again, that was all her. I am very “out of sight out of mind.”

She happens to be a very femme-presenting woman but with a male zeal for pursuing. She has a super high libido, which I think lends itself to her proclivity to be the natural pursuer.

As far as “easy.” I think we both joke about how women don’t just find everyone “attractive.” We both swiped left on most of the ppl we encounter on OLD. It’s not just something we do to men. I swiped left on most women.

I think women have more things that that trigger “turned off”

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I don't know who said money doesn't matter at all. Money matters and it's always good to have money. But when you get to a certain point, the marginal utility of money becomes too low to make up for other things.

Of course I would prefer a muli-millionaire making $1M+/year over someone making $120k. But if $120k is enough for a reasonably happy life (combined with my own finances), I would not date a super rich person that I don't like over someone making $120k that I like more. Because the extra money cannot make me happier than being with someone that I actually like. Going on vacation in a 3 star hotel with someone you get along with and makes you genuinely happy is better than going on a vacation in a 5 star hotel with someone that you're not having fun with.

I have never been in real poverty and felt like I didn't have enough money to live comfortably. I know money starts being a much bigger deal if you don't have enough. That might skew my perception a bit, but this is how I think.

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[–]Rude-rudbekia1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

My best friend died last week and obviously I've been heart broken.

I work at a primary school and my line manager kindly said I could take 7 days off, 3 of those paid. She also phoned my up twice to check in on me.

I come back to work and someone went to the shop and randomly gave me loads of chocolate bars and a note to say sorry. Someone also slipped a chocolate bar in my tray.

On Monday, it was announced that two of the older ladies had crocheted 'worry worms' for every single child and adult in the school. There's about 480 children and quite a lot of staff members.

They're basically tiny little worms that are crocheted, and they come with a little note with a poem about holding them when you're worried and it will take it away.

Those old dears have been working like machines making them since october, all to do something nice for us and the kids.

So when I think about my dead friend, I rub the little fella in my pocket and it reminds me how nice the world can be.

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Daily Community Chat Megathread

Comments

probably a month

Title	Daily Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	16
Comments	1429
Date	January 31, 2022 4:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sh4k1y/daily_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/daily-community-chat-megathread.1098728 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098728