How much do your dating options diminish/increase as you get older? For both men and women

washington_breadstix · 2020-05-03T12:35:52+00:00

a man in his late 30's, 40's and 50's has the pick of the litter of young women.

In his 50s? I really doubt it. Maybe in a guy's 30s, as long as he remains fit and healthy (i.e. stays lean/muscular; doesn't engage in habits that ruin his skin) and as long as he doesn't go bald. I think a guy who's past age 30 and wants to date early-20s women has to be able to pass for younger himself. In other words, he has to still look like he could reasonably be in his mid-20s or so. Hence my reference to clear skin and a full head of hair.

The idea is that men who remain single and have their shit together past age 30 are in high demand among women in the same age bracket. At age 50, a guy has the pick of the litter of women who are also around 50. He does not have his pick of the litter of 20-year-old women unless he's mega-rich/famous or something.

xinf3ct3d · 2020-05-03T13:33:51+00:00

I think the problem about the "CC"-theory is that it only works assuming all women did that which is laughable at best. A woman that focussed on her career probably has good chances to find a great husband with similar traits.

PanItWitMe · 2020-05-03T13:09:34+00:00

I think everyones options decrease as time goes on. Both genders get married, have families, age, gain weight... it’s a two way street. TRP like to talk about women hitting the wall but let’s be honest there’s a lot of men in their mid 30’s who aren’t looking that great either.

diffdedbed · 2020-05-03T15:25:35+00:00

As a man approaching 50, very much into the casual sex scene and who studies this as a hobby these are my beliefs for me.

Women at my age or near it, single, would fall over trying to rush to get me. This isn't arrogance, I've seen it even in less attractive and successful friends. Dating for a woman in her mid/late 40's is hard. Getting a guy with his shit together is harder. Getting a guy with his shit together and in shape, and single? Thats the unicorn for them.

Dating women -10 years from me would be my sweet spot. We still look like we should be together, they are old enough to share some of the same experiences in life, young enough to have more miles in their tank in looks for me. They would be mostly easy to get.

Dating -15 years. Now we are getting where age can matter. I have several FWB's in this age group but few I could see myself married to. They are at least old enough I don't feel like a predator dating them.

Dating -20 years or more. Ugh. This is where things get weird. The guys I know who've done this are usually assholes and weird. Its just a very strange group. Any woman I'd be interested in would have to be smart, active, ambitious in some way (not necessarily career) , basically higher value. No higher value woman is going to go for a guy 20 years older than her for the most part. Even if they really thought I was awesome they would realize that we are a full generation apart, and that while I'm still 100% at my age, the cliff is approaching. Lets say I'm 50 and shes 20. I can easily handle a 20 year old right now, but then at 70 shes going to be 40. Unless shes the type to completely let herself go, I can't see how I'm keeping up. I mean maybe, I do know a few 70 year olds who can, but its a bad bet for the woman. Shes also looking at spending her last 30 years of life alone by statistics.

This leaves.. the gold diggers, the broken, and at best women with an older guy fetish. If I was looking to be the real life version of Leisure Suit Larry, then thats what I'd be doing, finding broken 20 year olds or gold diggers, and pumping and dumping. Not a good way to live IMO.

passepar2t · 2020-05-03T13:22:18+00:00

I'm a loser so my options shrank. When I was in my mid and late 20s, maybe even early 30s, it was okay to be a loser but now that I'm in my mid 30s, that shit don't fly. You can't get away with being a broke vagabond digital nomad anymore in your mid 30s. You need to be established. You need some kind of empire. Possibly a castle, with a thoroughbred destrier in the stables. It's over for me.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2020-05-03T13:06:31+00:00

A man in his mid 30’s has a larger dating pool than a woman in her mid 30’s, but the idea that most guys even in their mid thirties have “the pick of the litter of young women” is laughable. Only very very hvm will be able to attract mid 20’s when they are mid 30’s and there are lots of young women who just won’t entertain a guy more than 5 years older no matter what. Dating options go down for everyone as we age.

Fewer than 5% of all marriages have a 10 year age gap, and statistically these are more likely to be second marriages. Think 5% of 50 year old men are able to lock down a 40 year old women (usually with a couple of preteen kids to support)

indianajonesey22 · 2020-05-03T14:11:27+00:00

For the average person, male or female, I think dating gets harder every decade.

How much harder depends on the person. If you are attractive in your 30s you can definitely date people in their mid 20s. This applies to women too, not just men. You see it less with women though because they typically just don't want to. Like I had an attractive 21 year old guy try to take me on dates and I just...couldn't lol. FWB maybe.

Once 40s, 50s hit I think noticeable difficulty takes place, and this is when men will use their money to secure dates with people younger, which good for them but the idea of being with someone who doesn't genuinely like you for you doesn't appeal that much to women either.

As along as you stay "on top" of your respective age group (looks, good job, ect) and don't have delusional standards, dating should always be reasonably pleasant for you at any point.

katiesaysthings · 2020-05-03T15:18:07+00:00

Every TRP man will tell you that women have trouble finding commitment after 30.

I'm having the opposite problem. I haven't wanted to commit to my last two boyfriends. I'm 35. Finding men has never been a problem.

If there's a reduction in the amount of men who are attracted to me, I haven't noticed. In fact, I wish there were a few less fuckboy's sliding in my DMs.

inkybreadbox · 2020-05-03T12:27:08+00:00

I seemed to have more options when I (female) was 22, but really they were not quality options—just a bunch of dumb 20-somethings that also didn’t know what they were doing in life yet. I wasn’t picky because I hadn’t realized what I was even looking for yet. There definitely weren’t a whole lot of accomplished, financially stable men wanting to hang out with me. Now that I’m 32, I guess there are less suitors, but I only entertain quality people with real jobs that I really like, and it’s a more rewarding experience overall. I certainly don’t miss the frequency at which I was cat-called and hit on in public places in my early 20s.

As for a lot of my long-time male friends that are currently in their 30s, there aren’t a lot of hot 22 year olds lining up to be with them either. I think this is entirely dependent on how well men have aged. Some aren’t looking so fresh at 35.

CHAD_TDK · 2020-05-03T13:19:31+00:00

Everyone's dating options are relative to the total available options, and it's dependent upon the individual's SMV.

In your example the guy is not a top 20% guy, therefore his options in his 30's are there same as his options in his 20's.

He can improve his options by doing either of the following:

increase his SMV

OR

lower his standards

affectionate_chaos · 2020-05-03T13:28:57+00:00

Currently 43F and reflecting over my life I have noticed a trend. In my 20's I could definitely have my pick and did! In my 30's most people stopped partying and settled down with a partner and started having children. I still had options but they were less quality and quantity. No one really measured up so I stayed single mostly.

Now in my 40's and have myself together, healthy and attracting a lot of options. I do look after myself and look about 10 years younger, no children. I generally attract younger men and I have more in common with them compared to men my age in terms of lifestyle. And tbh most men my age have not aged well, they have let themselves go and given up on life. Then they have all the baggage like kids, an ex-wife living in the suburbs.... No thank you! I want more in life and am attracting some high value younger men and enjoying it.

6 months ago I went out with an attractive man who was 50, but he was interesting and had no children. I much prefer men without children but this is hard around my age. This is why I go for younger guys atm.

BumblingBeta · 2020-05-03T12:35:50+00:00

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HoneyNJ2000 · 2020-05-03T14:05:04+00:00

In contrast, men's options only increase as they get older - a man in his late 30's, 40's and 50's has the pick of the litter of young women.

Bahahaha! This is why I've always said that men DON'T own mirrors.

I can attest to the fact that back when I was 52 and doing online dating, I constantly got messages from guys my age and up to 68. The overwhelming majority of them were hideous - sorry, but they were. Most were bald or balding (I don't do bald/balding) and what hair they DID have was a shocking white, most had old haggard looking faces, most were completely out of shape, some were divorced 2, 3, 4 times or more. Then, there were a few guys in their mid-50's who had managed to get themselves young wives when they were in their late 40's and were now back on the market because their young wives had left them; except now they had 3 kids - all under the age of 6 - and were all pissed off because I wouldn't date them. Yeah, there's nothing more appealing to women over 50 than having to deal with some middle aged guy who has 3 kids (and two of them in diapers) and an angry ex-wife. I'd rather drink Drano.

I was still very attractive and very shapely at 52 and had MY pick of the litter - and turned down hundreds and hundreds of men in my age bracket and slightly older (and countless youngin's hoping I'd be their Stiffler's Mother). My point is not to brag - I wrote all this because the point I'm making is that if *I\* wasn't interested in these unattractive men in their late 40's and 50's and up when I was 52 years old, what women in their 20's and 30's in their right minds would have them??????

That's why I say men obviously don't own mirrors, or they'd get realistic REAL fast and stop spreading their bullshit about how men in their 40's and 50's have their PICK of the litter of young women - because they sure as hell don't. I was 52 and wouldn't touch 99% of the ones in the dating pool, and my accepted age range was pretty broad - 48 to-58 years old. It was a freakin' leper colony out there, so I suggest any man over 40 who's reading this and looking to date, go buy a damned mirror first and THEN learn to manage your expectations.

flyinghorse1 · 2020-05-03T12:26:21+00:00

They diminish in your 30s usually. Less matching with people in their early 20s (blessing really). And a lot of people your own age are married or have kids so its a no there. Just less options but in a big city theres still enough.

NewWayNow · 2020-05-03T13:50:18+00:00

Age doesn’t help much but if you are around 30 it will help you snag a “time to settle down” kinda girl who would have previously ignored you.

Rollo has a SMV graph where he shows that a man’s graph peaks around 50.

I like Rollo but that is horse shit.

If you didn’t score easily in mid-twenties, you are not really going to score much in your 40s or 50s.

sodabrothel · 2020-05-03T16:46:01+00:00

If this were true, how would you explain sugar dating? Even pretty good-looking 40- or 50-year-old men are literally paying young women to pretend to be their girlfriends. This is a thing that happens pretty often in modern American culture. Why would they have to do this if young women were lining up to date much-older men? If they truly had the “pick of the litter,” why would they have to pay?

Spoiler: there’s a market for “sugar babies” because if you’re 23 and good-looking with your whole life ahead of you, there are much sweeter deals in the dating world than balding dads with beer guts and a couple of divorces under their belts, to the extent that payment is necessary to make it worthwhile. It is 100% a revenge fantasy. Young women generally find leering older men very creepy.

XtoDoubt · 2020-05-03T11:52:27+00:00

a man in his late 30's, 40's and 50's has the pick of the litter of young women.

Nobody says this. It's a baffling misinterpretation of male smv increase in their 30s. I guess it's to be expected, with how bad dread game has been straw manned.

decoy88 · 2020-05-03T12:29:13+00:00

More women my age are now looking for serious long-term commitment to “settle down” with.

Either because they wanna start a family and reach those next milestones or because they are just plain fed up with all the drama insecure young people like to start up.

azngirl7689 · 2020-05-03T14:02:56+00:00

As more and more people are off the market in a marriage, you’re often left with people who aren’t married. For a reason. It’s not always a bad thing but sometimes someone is single for a very good reason.

Hi_Panda · 2020-05-03T20:08:27+00:00

this applies to both men and women but attractive is attractive. older men and women who are attractive will have an easier time in the dating world compared to those who aren't. i.e. Meghan Markle at 37 will always be more desirable than an unattractive 25 year old.

Belatrixis · 2020-05-03T11:51:01+00:00

In real life most people date their age, tho it's more common for men to date lower age women then the opposite

concrete333 · 2020-05-03T13:51:19+00:00

33m. For me, they increased just a ton. I stay in shape and don't smoke, also worked in sales for a year and a half which definitely had a positive effect on my charisma. However, while I do have a master's degree, I've truly never had a great job/much money.

Here's the thing - have you talked to a 25 year old guy recently? As long as you've developing yourself, learning things, and improving however slowly over the years, you're just going to blow most of them out of the water when you open your mouth. IMO that's the only effect at play here.

Relevant examples: up until I was 27, I had dated within my age range, had to try pretty hard, and about half of my girlfriends broke up with me.

When I was 29, started dating an attractive 21 year old, broke up on good terms because I felt she was too immature (go figure).

Since then I've weirdly only dated 25-26 year olds that I've met either while out or through friends, more than half of which definitely initiated the conversation. They also usually seem much more interested in trying to keep me.

wtknight · 2020-05-03T14:52:22+00:00

The age range that a man can date increase as he gets older, but once he is in his 30s he's not as likely to attract the hottest college aged women unless they want him for his money.

Women's dating options supposedly decrease as they get older, but they really don't because the older women get, the more they are attracted to men who are older. The relative immaturity of younger men, who are theoretically the fittest men, when it comes to relationships starts to bother them.

Willow-girl · 2020-05-03T15:08:58+00:00

It's been my observation that in middle age and older, people tend to pair up with partners already in their social circle. When my mother divorced my father, she married her best friend's widower. When my aunt was widowed, she married a divorced fellow from her church. When my grandmother divorced (in her 70's!) she married a man from the kaffeeklatch at the local diner. When my hay guy's wife died, he married a neighbor whose spouse had also passed away.

Us old folks don't get out much I guess!

saladfingers4141 · 2020-05-03T17:08:42+00:00

I'm 31 and have been single since 29, my options have slightly decreased even in that small space. I'd imagine its because a lot of girls in their early 20s will "draw the line" at 30 even though in reality I still look the same as I did at 29.

If you're an in shape man who is semi successful, decent looking and living in a large city you will always have options to date women younger than yourself but the idea that you will be still able to attract girls in their early 20s with no mental issues after 35 is laughable. Everyone's dating options slightly diminish as we age as more and more people within 10 years of you settle down, get married and have children.

Twiteena · 2020-05-03T17:31:34+00:00

My options did not shrink one bit. I was so overwhelmed with messages online from my dating profile I could not keep up...and my now-boyfriend had to be very persistent to get through that firehouse of attention and court me. If a woman keeps in shape she will never lack for options.

misiepatysie · 2020-05-03T12:31:31+00:00

F >30 here. My dating options increased on quality. No change in quantity.

Texan2116 · 2020-05-03T13:49:50+00:00

I am in my 50s, reasonably fit, and have not had a single lady in her thirties show interest in me(I do not seek them either)..seems to me the sweet spot for age is about plus or minus 5-7 years.

JesterMcGavin · 2020-05-03T14:03:21+00:00

35M - My options were nonexistent from the start, and have yet to show any modicum of increase. Which suits me fine, as I don't want options, judging from people these days.

Physiologist21 · 2020-05-03T18:33:32+00:00

Yes in real life men do not age well. Most start looking like shit at 30. They look out of date and their skin gets grey. They don’t seem to have the joue de vivre that many women maintain their whole lives.

I get some stuff trp ppl say is reality but this one never struck me as true, esp now that I’m 35 and get more male attention than I ever did before. I was at my hottest between 20-26 I would say but I never even went on a date until 24. Men wouldn’t approach me and I was out clubbing and stuff in those years.

Lanky_Initiative · 2020-05-03T19:01:50+00:00

Young Men have the lowest value men ever have.. At that point they don't have the types of things women value in a man. The older the man the more his options.. Because at that age he's had plenty of time to acquire money, status and become more masculine in appearance.

I disagree with Red Pill about women being unable to get men after the Wall.. Old women don't have AS MUCH options as in their youth, but They still have TONS of dudes hitting on them or they could get a dude easily on something like Tinder. The problem with "Where have all the good men gone" women, is the same problem all women have with dating. They can't get a man who fits THEIR STANDARDS, Its not an inability to get MEN in general which they all can. There's many many many desperate men out there who no woman will date. These are the ones they get hit on by for majority.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-05-03T20:21:45+00:00

Nahhh.. the older people I know don't even want to date like that. They're content and satisfied, don't like the drama. Been there, done that.

romodoc1 · 2020-05-03T22:14:45+00:00

I dunno. My mom is in her late 50s and still has men drooling over her everywhere she goes. Maybe this is a lot less drool that in her early 20s, but how much drool does one woman need? I know for a fact that I wouldn’t mind a little less drool, personally.

My mom doesn’t really invest in skin care, doesn’t work out or follow a specific diet, isn’t super fashionable etc. Yes, she is very beautiful. But as far as specifics go, she just looks like a normal (maybe slightly younger looking than her age) person to me who happens to be pretty. Men will consistently put her on a pedestal, physically. She is divorced and not interested in dating or remarriage (religious + traumatic divorce). But if she was, I doubt she would have any problems with suitors.

That’s the lens through which I view the so-called “wall” so I’m not worried.

wtknight · 2020-05-03T13:18:20+00:00

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Barneysparky · 2020-05-03T13:48:05+00:00

Quantity goes down quality goes up. All in all the women my age who are open to dating and have their lives together seem to be enjoying their relationships.

I've said before if I was dating at my age it would be a much more enjoyable experience then when I was younger. Guys my age who are interested in dating women my age are looking for championship more then they are looking for a sex partner. As much as red pill guys claim they only want sex the older men get the more of them value the simple pleasure of having breakfast together.

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-05-03T14:27:00+00:00

27M and it gets better as I age.

Dating women roughly 5 years younger.

And this is probably same comment I post on PPD in past 2 months on the exact same thread.

masterdarthrevan · 2020-05-03T16:10:12+00:00

I think it becomes an inverted reciprocal equation. By that I mean early on women have best choices but later on the men have the better choice. Women, this is why you should be picking the good men early ( which can be a gamble since a " good man" can turn out to have just been a shitty man in disguise.) And men this is why you should wait, as you focus more on making your life better, become successful avoid becoming attached to a woman so that you can focus further on studying things that will help you be more knowledgeable, or more like a leader. This is how to age as a fine wine for men. The dating advantage switches overtime, and I think many men ignore this because when men are young they want sex, and lots of it, they want to boast about it and brag to their friends to make their friends ( or competition) jealous. Primally this makes him feel superior and confident. But in the long run could be damaging if they choose a partner too soon. I have more advice for women later in life too but I just don't have the time RN.

SDW137 · 2020-05-03T18:23:14+00:00

I'm a 24 year old guy right now, and I don't think that my dating prospects will be better in 10 years. I think that being 24 as a guy is the ideal age for dating young girls. You're still young enough to date girls in college as well as girls your own age without there being a huge difference in lifestyle or anyone judging you for being "creepy". I got a good paying job right out of college. In terms of actual dating prospects, I could have more if I had more money, but that's true at any age. And I don't consider "sugar daddies" to be an authentic relationship.

banned_by_cucks · 2020-05-03T20:16:40+00:00

A lot of women here are stating how it's blatantly false, but they don't account for a key lurking variable -- most men do little to take care of themselves or anything to resist signs of aging.

I think a very self-motivated man who's willing to stay active and out of bad habits can age very well and maybe peak in his late 30s. There's a reason why Daniel Craig is still James Bond at age 52. The average age of 007 was always middle 30s. Brosnan didn't start until he was 42, though he looked quite young for 42.

frugaholic1201 · 2020-05-03T20:26:44+00:00

I think the options only decrease because people/women start becoming more picky with age, after having experienced other types of relationships.

I (32F) for one, will absolutely NOT date conservative men and, am childfree (which filters out even more options for me) and don’t date parents. So, picky me obviously will only have a harder time as I get older, and have a feeling I eventually may have to resort to dating single dads if nothing else good (for me) is available.

2020-05-03T20:30:08+00:00

I’m a woman. I’m going to be 30 in a few weeks and I still get the same attention I did at 18. I do the natural beauty thing so I make sure I eat well, hydrate and take good care of myself.

I just have higher standards and harder to manipulate. I cut men off when they try games with me when it comes to a commitment. So...the pool feels smaller because I know what I want. But the attention has not stopped.

antonio_aurelio · 2020-05-03T20:43:08+00:00

Most people date within their current age group. Therefore, by definition, they have fewer options than they would when they were younger since many people settle down as they get older.

The ones that are leftover are mostly either broken people, super picky, or are out of the game entirely. Don't get it twisted. High-value people of both genders settle down fairly early (usually by late 20s/early 30s).

DaizyDuchess · 2020-05-03T20:55:30+00:00

I’m a married woman in my 30s. I’m lucky to still look pretty good. As I got older my options for numerous feckless men who want to throw cheap compliments went down. My options for marriage minded successful men went up.

I was much more wondering where good men (good men meaning suitable for me and wanting marriage) were when I was 20 than when I was older. Being 20 attracts all the feckless weirdos.

Capital-Jicama · 2020-05-04T00:52:42+00:00

I'm gonna be honest with, as a woman who is in her 20s and who have dated both older and younger men, it is a FANTASY that men who are in their 30s, 40s & older think 20s something women want to date them or they have "the pick of the litter of young women."

A lot of my friends think its creepy

And honestly its not really a "pick of the litter of young women" considering most of these girls who are dating these older guys are using them for

Money
Bills
Tuition
sex

I think honestly for both genders it comes down to taking care of yourself and your sh!t and having a good work life balance.

I've learned in the past you cant really date others if you dont have the time. I and almost everyone i know is busy with work or careers now.

Question: Are we assuming in this scenario the person doesn't have other commitments like kids?

flyinghorse1 · 2020-05-03T12:09:28+00:00

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MassiveMD · 2020-05-03T12:54:28+00:00

29M, Increased exponentially. I couldn't have even dreamed in my early 20's how many women would be interested in me now. When I was younger all the girls wanted to have their "fun", now that all the fun's been had they want someone who's a good provider, good husband, good father. Too bad for them I've learned trough repeated beatings provided for by life that those attributes in today's societal context are synonymous with being an imbecile. I've been dating a girl for three years now but I can have sex with other women, something I made clear from the beginning of our relationship I wasn't going to quit. We're together because we where good friends and she insisted that she be part of my life in that way. Told her that marriage is off the table and I was completely honest in all aspects. I don't look at women over 25 as they seem either desperate or entitled, if I get any sexual hint from them they instantly become invisible to me, I don't like having to deal with older women because they become bitter and petty if I tell them I just want to have fun, the same fun they've had in their early 20's, not to mention that by now, because of the fact that I know I'm wanted for what I provide, how I look and not who I am, they disgust me at a subconscious level. Women in their late 20s are outgoing and write to me constantly but dealing with girls in their early twenties has become a breeze.

LATER EDIT: just to make things clear, the red pill does not say that you will have your pick of women in your 30s to your 50s. It says that you should focus on making yourself better from all aspects so that you could have your pick when you get to that age. Don't twist the message to make it seem delusional. Thanks.

OutdoorsyGeek · 2020-05-03T12:19:44+00:00

My dating options have increased as I’ve gotten older (now 45M) but that is because my personality has improved.

MerdeOnTheDanceFloor · 2020-05-03T12:18:06+00:00

31f.

My dating options have definitely diminished but it’s more to do with men who drink this kool aid than me ‘riding the cock carousel’.

I had a boyfriend 21-23, a dysfunctional relationship 26-28 and that’s it. Dating has sucked since then. Men who go ‘oh you just want babies and my money’ is like the biggest eye roll ever. Get a grip mate, I have my own money.

But then I’m ‘old’ now so 🤷🏼‍♀️

aemlcr · 2020-05-03T12:17:14+00:00

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acron5n5 · 2020-05-03T14:02:54+00:00

Not changing much. Zero from day 1 til now.

Likunfanele · 2020-05-03T15:15:18+00:00

I mean it all matters if you learn game. Learning game, from actually dating women, is what really enhances your chances. Say you learn that young women are just really dumb and they don't have the slightest clue what is good for them or what is a good choice so in your thirties you just target high school age girls. You can swim in lady goo holes and wreck all kinds of stupid women's hearts. And if you've got game you can date all kinds of girls in their twenties.

Paradoxically it actually becomes harder to date gross old women your own age because they've gotten wiser and they realize you're a dirt bag. But young girls don't young girls just think wow this guy likes me and he has his own apartment and can buy alcohol.

For most normie guys though they just always have a bad time.

red-tea-rex · 2020-05-03T15:44:26+00:00

I can say dating for me in my 20's was a struggle, because of natural shyness, being short, having a receding hairline. I still had girlfriends, 6's and 6.5's. By my early 30's I was way more confident, self assured, still in the same decent job, dating more frequently, still just 6's and 7's. Then I got hair transplants, started finding it way easier to date 6's 7's and 8's. My confidence grew even more, although I didn't judge the women to be LTR material. Now in my early 40's, I've stayed healthy, have wealth saved, committed to one woman, and view dating as more of an ego and shallow sexual release thing. By 40 I'm not deriving either one of those things from who I date. Guess I grew up and my loins stopped raging. But I've stayed healthy and fit and know I would have no trouble getting a late 20's woman if single life was foisted upon me. I am a burgeoning silver fox in other words.

HollowLegMonk · 2020-05-03T16:02:35+00:00

It all depends on your looks and lifestyle. If you are good looking and take care of yourself your dating pool just increases as you get older. But like all things it has it’s limitations. I’d say guys in their 30’s and 40’s have the most options when it comes to dating. I had a lot of options in my teens and twenties but when I got into my thirties it went way up because I could go to a bar/club and take home women aged anywhere from 18 to whatever if I wanted to.

samwise-gamggee · 2020-05-03T18:13:41+00:00

I’ve had good dating options my whole life. Take care of yourself and be smoooooth. Lol

Trant2433 · 2020-05-03T18:35:20+00:00

I had way more luck getting dates and sex in my mid 30s than I did in my 20s. Part of the reason is that I lived in a big, progressive city with more educated career women than men, so any guy making good money with a stable career and nice car could do okay.

But I wasn’t able to get more 22 year olds than I would have at 25, it was easier to find women my own age.

I find this is even more true as I get older, and not only are there a lot of never married 35 year old women looking for the nice guy after two decades of failing to lock down Chad, but there are more and more divorced women hitting the market again after their 10-year marriages failed.

The problem for me is that my sex drive and tolerance for women in their 30s is about 1/2 of what it was at 25, so it’s me who is less interested in playing the dating game with all the costs and energy required, and getting into a long term relationship with 90% of these women is not something I’m interested in.

Tonga89 · 2020-05-04T01:19:56+00:00

It got better for me. Actually, since I hited 20 it gets better every year.

I'm 30 and unfortunately engaged now... And sometimes I catch myself thinking if I'm not missing out, to be honest.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-05-04T01:58:49+00:00

Woman here. I turn 38 on June 1st. I'm going to be very honest. I'm getting cat called a lot less since I've gotten older. I don't typically meet men in real life like I used to when I was younger and I've been using online dating apps to meet most of my romantic interests.

I've used online dating apps on and off since I was 23 years old. I've ALWAYS had over 1,000+ matches, and hundreds of messages in my inbox, and I still do. I know there are studies out there that show women's desirability goes down with age, but if you're a woman, and you swipe liberally, your desirability might go down from 1,000+ matches, to 800+ matches, which is still a LOT of matches.

I'm sure when I turn 50 or something, it'll go down to 600+ matches. This is still a lot of matches. I'm sure the messages will scale accordingly/proportionally. But I can remedy this by simply swiping more. If I'm swiping 10 minutes / week, and I notice that I have 60 messages instead of my usual 90, then I'll simply swipe for 20 minutes/ week, and so on and so forth to make up the slack. God forbid I have to swipe for 10 minutes / day, or 3 times a week, or something like that.

At the age of 38, TRP will have you believe that I'm some sort of post-wall untouchable who's prospects have shriveled up and vanished but it simply hasn't been the case for me, or my friends. I've got friends who are obese single moms and they also have tons of matches, date offers, and messages. They also swipe for like 10 - 30 minutes / week, which isn't even a lot of invested time.

I just checked tinder, and I have 85 new messages since I last checked around noon, 99+ matches. I'd say about 70% of the men I swipe right on, swipe right back on me. The quality of the matches depends on how you swipe. I personally only swipe if I see a match who is very attractive, over 6 feet tall, who has a bachelor's degree or greater, and who's working a director-level job or higher. At any point in time, using my 10 minutes/week swipe-strategy of only swiping on hot, tall, successful men only, I can expect 50+ messages in my inbox per day to get back to, from at least 10 high quality, hot men. I'm currently talking to a doctor, a guy with a Ph.D. in engineering, a college professor, a male model, a personal trainer, and a CEO of a tech-media firm. Those are just the guys I've started talking to, this week.

When I was younger, I would only swipe on hot guys, and the quality was poor. I think that had a lot more to do with my inexperience with men and with me not knowing how to pick / select the top men, than it did with anything else. If there is some sort of decline in matches, messages, and/or quality, I haven't personally noticed it.

I swipe for about 10 - 30 minutes / week on about 50 men per week and every time I log into the app, I usually have 30 or more messages to respond to. It has always been like that for me.

2020-05-04T10:16:46+00:00

The problem will all ages of men wanting to fuck you in your 20’s is that the most aggressive ones and likewise the most readily available ones are not going to be the right ones. “Choosing wrong” is by basic law of odds almost inevitable.

If you’re open to all age ranges your whole life you’ll still be more selective in your 30’s and more in control of the dynamics.

The sheer volume of options and attention only diminishes with diminished social opportunities or significant diminished appearance.

nemma88 · 2020-05-04T10:39:50+00:00

Based on the older women I know; not enough to sweat it. You're going to have issues finding a quality guy with no baggage, because quality guys are not still single post 30ish and the ones that are are divorced. That's a issue with any gender picking late though, late to the party you get the dregs.

Jakes1967 · 2020-05-05T00:06:03+00:00

How much do your dating options diminish/increase as you get older? For both men and women

A few average looking guys I know, that never married, might be a good example.

18 to 20, they were unsuccessful with women 18 to 22. They usually went after cougars for sex and were quite successful.

21 to 25, they were still quite unsuccessful with women their own age, but were still pretty successful with cougars.

26 to 30, they were successful with women 18 to 30, but extremely successful with women 31+

31 to 40, they were successful with women 20 to 30, very successful with women 31+ and extremely successful with women 40+

41 to 50, they were rarely successful with women 18 to 25, quite successful with women 26 to 35 and very successful with women 36+

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-05-03T12:54:47+00:00

30 male here. My options increased substantially in quantity and quality. I don't expect this streak to last another decade.

fubarcapitalist · 2020-05-03T13:31:43+00:00

TRP says older men have the “pick of the litter” of young women?

Sorry, you made that up. This is the first time I’ve seen anyone assert that. You’ve really wandered into straw man territory.

Willow-girl · 2020-05-03T14:34:32+00:00

[deleted]

TheJim66 · 2020-05-03T12:32:30+00:00

I'm still very young (25ish) so I don't know if it counts but literally every year is better than the last. I have a larger dating pool, become fitter, look more mature and have more game . And I haven't even started having enough money for it to further improve things. When I add that factor things are gonna be sweet as fuck.

Women have zero problems dating older men and many times prefer them.

WicGoingAnonymous · 2020-05-03T12:56:10+00:00

I'm a 28y old and my dating options increased compared to 20y old me.

dawgbig36 · 2020-05-03T15:35:47+00:00

So many salty people in this thread, studies have shown men in their 50's are more popular than even when they are in their 20s.

This thread just became one big "30 year old single Karen cope"

Sigma1979 · 2020-05-03T14:40:52+00:00

As a man, attention from women has definitely increased, lots of educated single women are looking to lock someone down where i am, but they can't find similarly educated men to settle down with.

2020-05-03T15:01:24+00:00

At >45 I had more options. Single mothers , divorced women, grandma's. Enough baggage to fill a dumpster.

And dont forget their standards are sky high while they let themselves go.

And they are looking for a ATM.

DevilishRogue · 2020-05-03T15:39:29+00:00

I think Wooderson said it best.

Christian_Kong · 2020-05-03T16:38:50+00:00

I'd say for men 28 or so is your peak and goes downward. If you are in shape you will probably have your best pick(not pick of the litter, but most robust amount options) up or down several years. It's a time when women feel you are mature but still have your best looks and should have a decent job.

For a woman I would say 22/3/4 is about peak beauty range. Since all men care about beauty first it should go downward once the face starts showing age. It won't make a major difference til about 28-30 though(I think that is when the face really starts showing pretty noticeable aging.)

How much it diminishes is hard to put in numbers but assuming someone is in peak fitness the whole time it should get harder every year after those peak years.

2020-05-03T17:15:01+00:00

It really depends on the person I think , a hot girl would be a milf so her options won't really get worse but if girl is below avarage her options are going to decrease significantly.

For guys if he is tall and he is going to earn a lot his options will increase if he is poor his options will decrease . If he is short his non existent options will get worse no mather what .

dzejn_lejn · 2020-05-03T17:35:10+00:00

During my teen years I would be “horny” all the time. I could not imagine myself not having a crush on someone. Now I’m 24 and for the past year I’ve been feeling like this is it. I am having trouble getting attracted to someone and I feel like I’m not going to like anyone ever again. And another hardship is that I’ve realized that I’m into guys who are kinda eccentric but still very confident and intelligent. Which is not a common find. And it makes me quite anxious when I hear or read things like “your beauty will start to fade when you’re like 32” because I look like I’m 15 now hahah. The fact that I’ll be 32 in less than 10 years seems insane and scary at the same time.

SeemedGood · 2020-05-03T17:36:32+00:00

Attractiveness to women as refelected by women approaching when in social environments, engaging flirtatiously, and escalating the initial engagement to suggestions for further interaction:

Infrequent but steady 15 - 18, happens enough that I don’t have to approach women 18 - 20, regularly but not necessarily expected 20 - 24, happens occasionally 24 - 30, not infrequent but not expected 30 - 35, happens a fair amount 35 - 40, happens so frequently that it is expected 40 - 50.

Certainly part of that is due to change in lifestyle (increasing leisure time as I have aged from about 40) but the thing which seems to correlate most to me is the extent to which I express power in my life as a net of physical, social, financial, intellectual, and spiritual expression. As I have become more powerful on a net basis and the expression of that power is evident in the way in which I interact with others, women have been more attracted to me.

G77R23D · 2020-05-03T18:54:22+00:00

Read "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough" if you want to see what women deal with in post aged 35 dating.

Sumfuc · 2020-05-03T19:14:59+00:00

Single, straight man with a good job, benefits & a pension? And is not a Chud? That’s a sexy, sexy Man.

zino193 · 2020-05-03T19:23:05+00:00

I can only speak for myself, 32...mostly dating either above 32 or bellow 24.

I have less patience to play the game, to try to get women, to try to impress them, to try to make them happy. Which ironically makes you better at it. Giving them a call now, makes them happier than actual gifts bought with money in highscool.

In terms of opinions, I don't really think there\s a special recipe for happiness. I think there is for unhappiness. I think the second you need a particular woman, you are leaning on her, and she can't lean on you. You can keep the frame until you die, but there's a slow process of betadization... I think there you can find a patient and comfy form of love that can maintain the relationship long term.

Physiologist21 · 2020-05-03T19:46:30+00:00

As far as hook ups go, it is 100% true. All you need to get laid by an 7-8 college chick is an iq higher than 50 and proximity. I can't speak to dating, but yes things get easier. If you aren't a dunce, experience will carry you through life.

A_HECKIN_DOGGO · 2020-05-03T20:39:56+00:00

So I’m seeing a lot of comments talking about baldness being a deal breaker. As a 22 year old guy who’s balding, that makes me unattractive? That sucks.

Freevoulous · 2020-05-03T20:56:02+00:00

I can only speak for myself, but my options drastically improved between 25 and 35, and I noticed the same for several men I know.

The key is; this only happens with men who keep on working on themselves and self-improving as they pass 30.

Gym, good diet, good grooming, contemporary fashion, and at least attempting to be "in" with the 20s crowd in terms of music, interests, social media etc, as well as financial escalation: and you will find your 30s to be amazing.

vermine_supreme · 2020-05-03T23:07:03+00:00

38M semi Chad here, i never fucked as many and hotter girls in my life than now.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-05-04T02:13:23+00:00

I've seen my options, given my SMV, and it just makes me even happier that I'm a full-on MGTOW and don't pursue relationships. My "options" actually help me stay away. It's perfect.

DangZagnut · 2020-05-03T12:50:07+00:00

I didn't notice any change until I stopped wasting time with it.

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Title	How much do your dating options diminish/increase as you get older? For both men and women
Author	BumblingBeta
Upvotes	93
Comments	572
Date	May 3, 2020 11:45 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gcp9l4/how_much_do_your_dating_options_diminishincrease/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-much-do-your-dating-options-diminishincrease.659199 https://theredarchive.com/post/659199

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