Why all the anger when a guy who is probably promiscuous doesn’t want to date a woman who is the same?

altar-of-autumn · 2022-09-27T17:21:26+00:00

My reaction is also: who cares, the majority of people don't care at all, let alone feel actual anger over it. Anecdotally, I've noticed promiscuous guys partner with equally as promiscuous women.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-09-27T16:42:24+00:00

I'm not angry about it, but it's silly. I think that these men generally need to do some introspection about why they find it disgusting when someone has made the same choices as them, and they also need to accept that chaste women probably aren't going to be too hyped to date them.

ChadChasingB · 2022-09-27T15:58:22+00:00

I don't get angry about it, but I would never date a man like that. We don't have the same morals or views on sex. Those same men say that it shouldn't matter if you like them. That's what upsets me.

CatchPhraze · 2022-09-27T16:54:03+00:00

I'm only bothered because they whine about it/hyper inflate the numbers /call us liars about our numbers.

N count is like peak male brain neuroticism. They are insecure about their number, her number, your number. It's annoying to constantly hear the men around here get averages wrong and just, completely project about it.

If its just some dude living his life that STFU about it but quietly nopes out of high N woman and doesn't "REEEEEEE" to the internet about it? He can do it all damn day for all I care.

EviessVeralan · 2022-09-27T17:17:43+00:00

Im not aware of anyone whos actually mad about it. People just tend to not like hypocrisy and will criticize it.

ruboyuri · 2022-09-27T16:35:58+00:00

Oh, the hypocrisy and judgement. For, like, thousands and thousands of years

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-09-27T18:39:57+00:00

Because in a few years, you will be whining about your dead bedroom and expecting sympathy for it. You want a low N count/low libido woman who avoids sex and makes you wait 1 year to begrudgingly give you a blowjob? Then shut up and accept the consequences of your actions. How many attractive women with high libidos (wanting to have sex 3-5 times per week or more in a LTR) and low N counts do you think exist?

cowfishAreReal · 2022-09-27T16:03:48+00:00

Most people don't like hypocrites

CruelAngelGradThesis · 2022-09-27T16:01:32+00:00

In my case I wouldn't describe it as "anger" so much as "lol couldn't be me"

chingness · 2022-09-27T16:35:30+00:00

I don’t think it’s an issue to have those preferences. I think people get angry that these preferences are put out on here all the time as a way to criticise women for their choices whilst saying it’s ok or different for men. It’s the promotion of the double standard onto others that people argue about as opposed to someone’s individual preferences. Womens n count is posted about multiple times a week or even day 😂 and why? As an attempt to make women feel bad or to control womens behaviour so it suits the men who want them a certain way.

badgersonice · 2022-09-27T19:23:51+00:00

The emotion for me isn’t anger, it’s disgust. I find promiscuous men seeking low-n women to be kind of genuinely gross. I strongly wanted to avoid them in dating. I didn’t want to be the target of men who wanted me to treat sex like it’s something special I saved for them, while they treated sex like it was so important to fuck everyone they could find and it didn’t matter who they were intimate with.

Same with gold diggers or women who like 6 feet tall men,

Have you really not noticed that many men actually are angry about women having such preferences?

Stop_Maximum · 2022-09-27T16:17:04+00:00

To be honest no one cares. Most time it comes from people that have never dated or touched a woman apart from their mom, so why would anyone really care? 😭

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-09-27T16:01:16+00:00

It's not anger. I just don't think it's the most logical or practical vetting technique

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-09-27T16:03:00+00:00

i dotn see this anger, i see people arging with the dumb rationalization arguments people make for their chosen behaviors

bunnakay · 2022-09-27T16:01:28+00:00

I'm not angry, but those men seem to want me to validate their hypocrisy, and that's not going to happen. I wouldn't date them, even if I met their body count standard.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-09-27T16:27:11+00:00

Everyday I see women here getting pissed

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ef/4c/23/ef4c232dab28b7581497cee047f21969.gif

urbangoth · 2022-09-27T16:42:02+00:00

Who's mad? I get along just fine; there's no need for anger. I agree with you: who cares.

hungrychick404 · 2022-09-27T19:33:39+00:00

If you don’t want women to have high body counts, why are you raising their body counts? Seems like someone doesn’t count the people he’s sleeping with as people to me

delight-n-angers · 2022-09-27T23:02:11+00:00

Because no one likes a hypocrite. A guy with a high body count who wants a virgin is a hypocrite. It's not that deep.

BKLD12 · 2022-09-28T00:36:06+00:00

I just think it’s hypocritical. “Anger” is kind of a strong word, but I am perplexed as to why a guy would view the same behavior he’s engaging in as “disgusting” when applied to a potential partner.

pinktuliplover · 2022-09-27T16:20:04+00:00

I think the difference between the promiscuity example and the 6ft example was is hypocrisy vs transaction.

Most women want a man who is taller. Most men want a woman who is shorter. This is a transaction because both parties can benefit.

If a promiscuous man wants a virgin women, he benefits but she does not. Most virgin women do not want a man with a super high n count. There is no even transaction here.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-09-27T16:51:22+00:00

Because they are hypocrites and do you not think that a dude plowing his way through all the virgins and low N count women ruins them for other men? (I don’t think that women are at all ruined by sex; I’m just employing these men’s own logic.)

2022-09-27T16:45:15+00:00

Lack of fairness, double standard, arrogance

PassMyGuard · 2022-09-27T17:58:35+00:00

Preferences are fine. Implying that somebody has shitty values/low morals/is worth less/deserves less happiness is not.

risdeveau · 2022-09-27T16:00:25+00:00

Hypocrisy

neutralhumanbody · 2022-09-27T17:11:27+00:00

I don’t personally care about that, but I think hypocrisy makes most people upset.

Edit to add: Don’t be a slut if you don’t want a slut.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-09-27T18:37:16+00:00

It's the delivery of the message, not the message itself that women have most issue with.

D_bAg_Tr0LL · 2022-09-27T23:13:04+00:00

Because it's called being hypocritical. I have a high body count, that's why I love whores. Nothing wrong with it and I'd be a hypocrite if I had a problem with them.

jayval90 · 2022-09-27T23:55:48+00:00

The anger is probably based off of the fact that every n in a guy's n-count is another n in some other women's n-count. The same isn't true of height, money, and most other preferences.

ClaraBow01 · 2022-09-28T05:39:30+00:00

Because it’s hypocritical and sexist. This is about behavior, not biology.

LatterSeaworthiness4 · 2022-09-28T14:24:04+00:00

Honestly I know a lot of women who act similarly. It’s because we as humans are often hypocrites. Plenty of women like the idea of an “experienced” guy because it means other women want him. Then, If we fall in love with him, we become concerned and hope that none of that really happened because we want to feel special, and thinking about the highlight reel of women he’s slept with in the past can make us feel insecure. Even if we ourselves were promiscuous. It’s easy to justify because WE know how we feel and that all of those previous guys didn’t mean anything, but we can’t be 100% sure that those women didn’t mean anything to our partner. It is what it is.

Choice_Ad_6230 · 2022-09-28T18:12:38+00:00

I don't walk around talking about how many women I've been with. That is super lame, id 100% want to know that guys advice though. WE ARE NOT THE SAME. Most men of similiar "value" to women probably have more bodies on their record than mine. I still just fundamentally disagree with you on this being an equal thing. Partly based on data, but also just on perspective AS A MAN. You can say "I don't care what men think", we hear it all the time now, it's meaningless. At the end of the day it is how men think and it isn't a standard, there are biological reasons for it. Yes everyone has a preference, im saying I truly believe that the preferences you mentioned and I've experienced are genuinely (some of them) DANGEROUS to most men today. It's not being a dick, im just stating coldly. If you disagree fine, it changes nothing.

Yes some (even many) men don't care about ncount, or being a gold digger, or meeting the 6ft standard. The exceptions don't make the rule. In GENERAL the statements I made are what the are. I even said I don't fit the model of man I'm speaking on the behalf of. I am a man though, and did. I have friends. I've known many different male perspectives and we speak honestly together (not locker room talk, don't want to hear that bs).

Yes a guy who has multiple partners DOESNT WANT A WOMAN WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS. If he as a man has had to work his way to be of "value" to women and then becomes attractive to women (hypergamy, argue if you want, I've yet to find a woman explain she doesn't fit it), he is going to be available to women, That availability IN ITSELF makes him attractive to women. I'm not advocating cheating, lying, etc. When a man comes to a woman, he has to have some "value", that value can be risked by extending serious resource and commitment to a promiscuous woman. Women shouldn't be upset about this AT ALL. Do what you would expect in a potential partner and stop yelling to the hills that it doesn't matter. It does. Keep it to yourself, lie about it, work on being a partner. Stop trying to change what is attractive to men, it's annoying.

carritotaquito · 2022-09-27T17:30:28+00:00

They have hang-ups about sex.

Here's a therapist (podcast) touching on the idiocy in regards of said logic.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-09-27T17:06:13+00:00

it’s not that we’re really mad about an individual guy feeling like that. a lot of it is the overarching societal double standard.

their reasoning is often dehumanizing a bit. like you can prefer taller men without thinking shorter men are disgusting and not fit for a relationship. but many of these men use bullshit analogies and view these women as lesser. like i don’t have to date a guy to be bothered that he’s viewing women in a weird way.

plus, it’s different than a preference for a lot of other traits. it’s good to like traits that are either similar to yours or compatible with yours. like, wanting a partner who wants to stay home with the kids when you’re super career oriented- compatible, and benefits you both.

wanting someone who (often) isn’t as horny or doesnt care about sex as much when you love sex? it’s usually some weird societal thing that’s been instilled in you which leads to you believing women who have casual sex are “icky”. it doesn’t lead to more compatibility. in fact it often leads to less.

KikiYuyu · 2022-09-27T16:56:49+00:00

Most people hate hypocrisy, I don't know what to tell you.

Conscious_Ad_6572 · 2022-09-27T17:48:22+00:00

Master key vs lockless lock

Conscious_Ad_6572 · 2022-09-27T17:48:41+00:00

Cause it’s easy for women hard for men

darkvalleys · 2022-09-27T17:39:46+00:00

Judgy hypocrisy of course

We all know this, even men

Podlubnyi · 2022-09-27T18:11:17+00:00

Basically, a lot of people can't handle it when someone they want to date doesn't want to date them, or has dating preferences that exclude them.

Many/most men don't want a woman with a double digit body count, that's just the reality. It's kinda funny that people get angry about this when women are notorious for having unreasonably high expectations of men. The 6ft, 6-pack, 6-figure salary requirement probably excludes far more otherwise decent men from their dating pool than women who get excluded based on body count.

lady_ven0m · 2022-09-27T18:54:12+00:00

No one is angry about it, we just don’t want to date hypocrites. I feel the same way about guys who look at scantily clad women, but have an issue with their partner dressing the same way.

taco5679 · 2022-09-27T23:51:28+00:00

People caring about body count are either insecure or I experienced. If you have had enough partners or experience, you don’t really care if your partner has had lots of partners. They had a life before you. If you are a man in you 40s or 50: and have been with a lot of women, why would you have a problem being with a woman who has been with a lot of men? You had one night stands and hookups, why does it matter if the woman has done the same?

Oli_love90 · 2022-09-28T00:35:17+00:00

I think the anger is more, (A) why are we still talking about this? (B) why are guys constantly fixated to shaming women with “high n counts” instead of taking the prerogative to simply find a women who fits their standards.

The forum acts like women are throwing themselves at men who are like “away with you whore! I am chaste!” Half of the time they’re just speaking in “what ifs” to get themselves riled up on something that is not a real issue.

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NocturnalCoder · 2022-09-27T16:56:59+00:00

These are most of the time not the same women. The ones complaining being played or having a guy with a lot of options not commit are mostly different type of people than the ones that are having multiple guys at the same time.

I do think the interesting question is why are the people with the same preference not being matched?

I mean, I am a monogamous single woman dating kind of guy who wants to slowly find out if there is more. I know there are women out their that share that mindset. I just don't seem to match with them.

IcarusKiki · 2022-09-27T22:16:31+00:00

im not angry - usually guys who are uppity about n count are insecure nerds who are trying to live the highschool experience they missed out in their late 20s-30s

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-09-27T22:28:51+00:00

Eh I haven't seen people pissed, I've just seen people pointing out that it's a) a double standard/hypocritical and b) limits their dating pool to almost nothing (most people will have multiple partners, most lose their virginity by age 17 in the US).

People are definitely allowed to have their preferences, but people are also welcome to scoff at the hypocrisy and also the self-defeating dating pool limit.

Nobody should pressure you to date someone you're not fully into (regardless of the reason).

Think_History_5682 · 2022-09-27T23:25:26+00:00

I'm cool with it, is she skinny? If so give me her number.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-09-28T02:18:39+00:00

I don't get the big deal

OpenSesameSee · 2022-09-28T13:05:18+00:00

Stfu and kiss a dick

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-29T04:09:13+00:00

It shows he is a selfish hypocrite, thats why. Its an unbecoming character trait to have.

houstongradengineer · 2022-10-01T07:55:16+00:00

It's not about a "preference."

It's the fact that some men will get online and post about it, or criticize women, as if women are moral failures for this that men aren't.

Date whoever you can. I feel like I already know that anyone who is dating a hot 18 year old virgin isn't going to be wasting their time trolling me. Hardly an man can get that, and if he can, he probably isn't rude about it. Who men date not what I'm mad about. I promise. I don't even know why you would have ever thought that.

I'm mad about men patting each other on the backs for honestly way worse behaviors, but still feeling free to shit talk women. It's a matter of respect. Keep your boys in line when they are trashy, and stop talking shit about women for normal stuff. That is all.

Scarypaperplates · 2022-10-03T01:45:56+00:00

I would like to say as someone waiting for marriage I tend to attract guys with that mindset. But I also get berated for wanting a virgin guy when I am myself am a virgin so its irritating coming from the other side.

Title	Why all the anger when a guy who is probably promiscuous doesn’t want to date a woman who is the same?
Author	Luciansleep
Upvotes	43
Comments	374
Date	September 27, 2022 3:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xpkiab/why_all_the_anger_when_a_guy_who_is_probably/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-all-the-anger-when-a-guy-who-is-probably.1133692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133692

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