Can women truly love?

Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-02-13T18:31:07+00:00

Women are not loved unconditionally. We are loved when we provide sex, peace, free labor and depending on the man children to a man. So why do men think women should love men unconditionally when men can’t love women unconditionally? Men don’t even love children unconditionally. A kid needs to be of the man’s blood line not some other man’s kid and the kid can’t be a fuck up/ not live up to the man’s expectations, can’t have different political or religious benefits and can’t desire a different lifestyle then what the man deems appropriate in order for a man to love them. There are always conditions for love no matter who you are.

BrigidFairy · 2026-02-13T05:22:10+00:00

Of course not, we’re terrible!

Lysa_Bell · 2026-02-13T05:43:20+00:00

My husband always tells me that if all women are only looking for money (we are regularly talking about posts on here), that I am a failure as a woman and that i make incredibly bad choices when it comes to dating and marriage because I got with him when he had basically no income, no drivers license and I didn't even know what he looked like for the first couple of weeks of us talking. Together almost 8 years now.

If women can't truly love I would have to assume I am not a woman. But last time I checked I was very much one.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2026-02-13T06:18:05+00:00

Can men truly love?

I don't believe in unconditional love.

All love is conditional by the fact that the condition is: make me happy

Or even the condition being: when I am with you life is better than when I am without you

I don't want to be friends with someone if they don't make me happy when I hang out with them. Otherwise why would I be friends with them

I don't see why men would want to me with a woman unless she's making his life better somehow otherwise why be with her than without her.

Does she make you happy when she's around? Congratulations you like her because she makes you happy.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-02-13T17:36:41+00:00

Yes, but only on a leap year.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-02-13T05:39:33+00:00

Would you stay in a relationship with a woman who stops having sex with you?

AngeAware · 2026-02-13T05:22:55+00:00

Yep.

Now it's up to you to choose whether to believe it or not OP, none of us have the power to force you to do that. If you don't believe, it's your right to not be involved in romantic relationships.

MoonriseOverEarth · 2026-02-13T15:04:21+00:00

At first I was ready to light you up over this question, but I've read down a bit at your comments, and I see that you are pretty young, so I'm going to be a bit more forgiving.

First, please look into the Greek categorization of different kinds of love. I feel this is more and more important for some of those who post here because English uses just one word - love - to cover maternal love, friendship love, and romantic love. And questions like these seem to make clear that some men here (and perhaps women too) think romantic love should be like maternal love - immediate and nigh unconditional. As a mother and a wife, let me tell you it is not.

Second, can women love romantically? Yes, but not instantly and not unconditionally. And - hint, hint - this is the same for men. Going back to the paragraph above, please don't confuse lust and new relationship energy with the deep abiding long lasting love.

So I see below you lament that women didn't really start approaching you until you started wearing jewelry. This is a category error. You think women should love you like they do a baby - maternal love* - instant and irrelevant to any characteristic you have. I'd ask you, do you love any woman you come across? Do you give attention to the fat ugly girl in the corner? I was approached far more when I lost some pudge and had a glow up. Does that mean men can't love?

Love rarely factors into our decision to date someone because we don't know them well. Again, the only people blessed to be loved no matter what are babies and small children.* I loved my babies even when they looked like creepy ass skeleton aliens on the ultrasound. Maybe in highschool where you are thrown in with someone and see them every day and have a friendship can it ripen into love before you ask them out, but generally no.

Instead, you start dating, get some of that new relationship energy/lust going and that keeps you together and investing into each other. If you all work together - personality, values, and enjoyment - that lusty NRE deepens into romantic love.

You won't fall into the romantic love with every man/woman you date. And that's fine. That's normal. Don't assume that someone loves you - as in ride or die - simply because they are dating you. They are - if they are good people - enjoying your company and believe they could come to really love you. I went through this with one guy I dated. I was very much in lust and had massive NRE energy with him. We dated for about six months and he asked me to move in. It was like a fever breaking. Lust or no, I realized he was not someone I could build that romantic love with. Take away the lust, and there was nothing. I moved on.

Was I using him? No. My feelings were legit. But they burned out.

Another thing about romantic love is that you have to invest in it to grow it and keep it alive. It takes two. That's why it's fairly hard to come by. It requires a lot of mutuality and a lot of deliberate choice. I tell you that as someone who has now been married 18 years. I'd give my husband my kidney. Why? He'd do the same for me. I wouldn't have given him my kidney in our first year of dating or even our second. I wasn't there yet. I'm sorry your friends feel like they gave to their girlfriends only to be dumped when things got hard, but (1) you should always match energy for energy, and (2) never give what you can't afford. Maybe they were really fucked over for sure. There are user women out there just like user men.

A child's view of the world is to avoid mutuality. Their parents should love them no matter what as children. My kids can scream they hate me, and I love them and love them and love them (but they are going to suffer consequences). But if my husband did that, no he'd start killing the love he's built.

*Of course, there are parents who don't give their kids unconditional love. I'm just talking about how it is generally supposed to work.

Hope this helps and good luck.

justdontsashay · 2026-02-13T05:20:46+00:00

This seems like one of those posts where you already have your opinion and just want to yell at any women who actually respond.

But yes, obviously we experience love and all the human emotions. I know it’s shocking lol

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-02-13T12:55:09+00:00

I love my husband more than anything in the world and in our 23 year life together ive proven it over and over. its probably that you cant inspire love in women since youre all dead humorless uptight planks of wood with no personalities

Pitiful_Home5655 · 2026-02-13T13:34:52+00:00

uh... yeah.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-02-13T05:41:31+00:00

<image>

> Brain activity produced by maternal love and romantic love (in both males and females) (shown in red and yellow). Note that there are considerable areas of overlap, although there are as well regions that are activated only by maternal or romantic love. Abbreviations: aC, anterior cingulate cortex; aCv, ventral aC; C, caudate nucleus; I, insula; S, striatum (consisting of putamen, caudate nucleus, globus pallidus); PAG, periaqueductal (central) gray; hi, hippocampus.

> https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Brain-activity-produced-by-maternal-love-and-romantic-love-in-both-males-and-females_fig2_6303749

love_in_october · 2026-02-13T06:50:34+00:00

Could you tell us what your alternative superior form of love is please? How are you judging who people are based on something other than what they do?

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-02-13T21:55:42+00:00

The only true love I believe in is parental love. Any other relationship is transactional in some way. It's funny how some men like to think they're above it somehow, when their standards are just as superficial as the women they're complaining about.

icypiee · 2026-02-13T06:46:37+00:00

Personally, no.

I love myself and pick men that are going to benefit me the most.

Talking_Tanuki · 2026-02-13T05:24:52+00:00

Yes.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-02-13T05:44:34+00:00

Of course we can

Editing to add since you mentioned in another comment that you were looking for actual experiences - I paid for me and my partner’s first date. For the first chunk of our relationship he was still in college and making a fraction of what I do. Because of that I paid for a lot of dates and often drove very far to see him. Now we make the same amount. Only reason we’ve discussed this is we are looking to move in together and have had talks about budgeting etc

When I was with my ex, he admittedly did make a lot more than me - for a bit. When he took a huge pay cut I stayed. When we broke up it was because he cheated on me, nothing to do with money.

Sonia314 · 2026-02-13T06:00:58+00:00

The most love I’ve ever felt for someone romantically was mainly because I find him super intellectually exciting and he has a lot of empathy. He didn’t love me back so eventually I was able to let go of the feeling by focusing on the ways he’s less intellectually exciting than I originally thought. He never benefited me materially in any way and I had no expectation of that being a possibility.

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-02-13T16:31:38+00:00

Yes. All humans have that capacity.

The idea that women want money is historical. When the only thing a woman could expect in marriage was survival, of course they'd be more receptive to men who were able to provide that. The logical sales pitch was, "I have the means to pay your bills."

Now, women have the means to pay their own bills. While they don't wanna be taken advantage of, and they don't want a man who lacks the skills needed to take care of himself (which includes being employed), they don't need a man to provide for their survival. So it's no longer a good sales pitch.

But men never stopped using it. Ask a man what he can contribute to a relationship and, 99% of the time, income and resources are at the top of the list. Ask a man what his role is in a marriage and, 99% of the time, "provider" is at the top of the list. Men are still presenting themselves as walking wallets.

Ironically, the role that they voluntarily place themselves in is also a role they resent. If you don't respond to the sales pitch, you suck, bc they don't believe they have anything else to offer. But if you do respond, you also suck, bc they know it's a shallow sales pitch.

In the end, it seems easier to keep searching for women willing to settle for money, and then complain that they're willing to settle for money, than to adapt. It gives them a way to rationalize their unhappiness while being passive.

pie-mart · 2026-02-13T12:42:44+00:00

If you get in a relationship where you are the sole provider then yeah, a woman should leave you if you cannot provide anymore. Because thats all you were offering her

But in equal relationships the woman can step up if a job is lost

Also, men also "love" women for the things we do as well versus loving us

But thats the struggle. Finding someone who actually loves who you are

Confident_Counter471 · 2026-02-13T12:42:49+00:00

Well I have always been the primary breadwinner in my relationship and have stayed with my husband through his layoffs and companies being dissolved so jobs just disappearing. He’s had long stints of being a stay at home husband. We were still very much in love and are to this day. He likes working more than staying at home but I’m the primary breadwinner. I keep saying to men on this platform stop settling for women who barely tolerate you! That’s a big part of the problem…you expect love out of someone who barely even likes you and are too scared there’s nothing else out there you settle for being miserable and used. Stop doing it.

Specialist-Age9387 · 2026-02-13T19:30:37+00:00

This is some bullshit broke men who aren’t hot say. They blame their problems on money because they dream one day they can get money. The truth is: money never once made a pussy wet.

Millions of women are out here loving broke men who are attractive and the only thing they get out of it is attention and orgasms. If you don’t have a woman loving you it’s not because you don’t pay one enough.

Zealousideal_Swan641 · 2026-02-13T20:18:17+00:00

Yes. Source: I am a woman and I can truly love

SnooMarzipans8221 · 2026-02-14T17:20:28+00:00

Counter troll: do men even know what actual love is?

Ronniebbb · 2026-02-13T05:51:02+00:00

Of course. I love my husband. He's literally my favorite person on this earth. I hate when I'm separated from him. I get all giddy and smiley when he's home from work (I work from home 3x a week and 2 days in office, he's 5 days at his work). I smile whenever I look at him. I sleep better when I'm snuggled up to him. He makes everything better about my day. That man is my world.

I love my friends like they're siblings. I'd go to the ends of the earth to make sure they're happy, safe and feel loved.

I love my puppy and the family cats. I spoil them rotten and I cuddle them every chance I get (but my mom's cat. I'm only allowed one to five pets in a certain way, once a day or angry baps).

-Of course women feel love and are inlove with their partners, friends, family etc. love is a emotion that everyone short of a sociopath or psychopath can feel. And man alive is it the best emotion there is. Don't listen to the Debbie downers about women and love

Altruistic_Love_5525 · 2026-02-13T10:38:46+00:00

Yes we can however we're far far more picky. men have to compete for our affection. put lots and lots of work in

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Siukslinis_acc · 2026-02-13T08:06:50+00:00

Yes.

I think part of the problem is that people can express love differently and thus the other side might not see that expression of love and thus think that they aren't loved.

Like, if it is the basics that one is on time, i won't see being on time as a sign of love. I only might see it if you have a history of not being on time and you are putting effort into being on time with me because you love me. But that thing needs to be externalised, i need to be told that this is how you express your love as i am not mind reader and don't know that a thing that is a core part of me is something that you need to specifically do.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-02-13T08:45:06+00:00

Of course. But I only ever loved one man in my life. I love him for him not for what he does. I don't know why I love him, I just love him because it's him, no matter what he does. If you "love" someone for any logical reason it's not love. You must just love them for them, not what they do or provide.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2026-02-13T18:42:22+00:00

Yes. I do it all the time and have done so for men I'm romantically linked with and men I am not romantically linked with.

Xiggyj · 2026-02-13T19:09:12+00:00

No. First you have to be 6ft, 6 inches down stairs, make 6 figures, and have a dog. Then only then can you hope to be loved 1%. You know who can love just fine? Men. Find yourself a strong man who will love you the way you need.

softrevolution_ · 2026-02-14T00:25:10+00:00

Define what it means to be truly loved.

To me, it's seeing that person and showing up for them. It's ride-or-die. But you can't romantically love someone who treats you like an object or a parent or, God help me, a therapist. Get involved with me as a fully realised, self-supporting person, we stand a great chance. I fixed my shit so I'm not here for people who haven't yet.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-02-15T00:03:15+00:00

When we tell you that you should find a person who is your best friend, you tell us that personality doesn’t matter to men.

My husband is my best friend. We’re about to stop at the grocery store and get a few things before I take him home and cook steak and pasta for him. We’re going out for sushi tomorrow night because I hate going out on holidays. We’ve been together almost 22 years.

United_Donkey8368 · 2026-02-17T09:27:15+00:00

Men do use women, their bodies. And they're the ones who use women the most for what they do for them, like giving blowjobs.

SocrateandAthena · 2026-02-13T14:19:27+00:00

Yes, my man is the most important person in my life. Our children are too, equally. But our relationship, our mutual trust, our emotional and physical intimacy are the reason why we decided to have them in the first place. And the reason why it's so good to be a family of our own together. None of this would have sense without the deep ground of our love to each other.

Title	Can women truly love?
Author	Zealousideal_Swan641
Upvotes	0
Comments	423
Date	February 13, 2026 5:15 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1r3giur/can_women_truly_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-women-truly-love.1573354 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573354

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