Most women withhold sex because they are afraid they don’t offer anything else

baresquad · 2022-04-23T13:02:19+00:00

She’s just not that into you. It’s not deep enough to theorize etc

If a woman doesn’t want to fuck me, she just doesn’t want to fuck me, it’s not about withholding any part of a relationship, she’s entitled to her prerogative and I’m entitled to decline her romantic pursuits

This shit is not all that difficult man

KaleidoscopeEyes12 · 2022-04-23T13:40:19+00:00

Hard disagree. Maybe some women are like this, but not most. Sex is a very vulnerable thing for a lot of women. They want to know they can trust you first. What if they don’t know a guy that well and decide to have sex with him then he turns out to be a creep?

Imagine it this way. What if I was dating a guy who didn’t give me access to his money. Obviously that’s probably just because he doesn’t trust some random girl with his money. Even after he’s known me for a while, that’s still pretty private. But what if I said “the only reason men withhold money is because they’re afraid they don’t offer anything else”.

Also, some women just have low libidos. It’s not uncommon, she may just genuinely not want to do anything sexual at the time.

I didn’t have sex w my bf for the first six months, because I was a virgin and I was scared, I just wasn’t ready. If anything, I was worried he would leave because I was taking too long. I can’t imagine anyone actually thinking withholding sex is a good “strategy” tbh.

The_Meep_Lord · 2022-04-22T23:36:20+00:00

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BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-04-22T23:57:53+00:00

I disagree.

Withhold in the context I understand it is: Refusing to have sex after a 'deal' or 'promise' was made that sex would be exclusively had under commitment in order to exploit the the man. Just like a 'dating man' refusing to open his wallet for uncommitted non-exclusive women is not 'withholding his money'.

"Dating men" are not committed men.

"Committed men" are bond by promises of well-being and care (e.g., alleviating stress - physical, psychological, material, communicatively, etc..).

You cannot "withhold" sex from a non-exclusive non-committed man.
The man is stupid, because you cannot "withhold" sex from a non-committed non-exclusive man that refuses to leave. (stupid).
You can only "withhold" sex after a promise/deal was made.
No commitment, no promise, no deal, then "withholding sex" makes no sense.

What 'withholding' sex is NOT:

A woman that "changes her mind" about having sex with an uncommitted non-exclusive man is not withholding it.
A woman that decides 'not to have sex' with an uncommitted man is not withholding sex.

What withholding sex IS:

A woman that commits to a man and purposefully withholds sex and fails to communicate in order to exploit gains or "get him to cooperate".

Thanks!

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-04-23T00:22:08+00:00

Nope. I'll make a guy wait until I'm certain he's sincere about the relationship.

ThrowRAanonymouspick · 2022-04-23T00:07:38+00:00

A woman withholds sex because she is not ready to have it with you. Not because she’s afraid it is all she has to offer.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-04-22T23:46:24+00:00

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EaseNew · 2022-04-23T01:18:19+00:00

Are everyone just retards on here ?

revente · 2022-04-22T23:42:39+00:00

Guys ghost women all the time after they have sex with them. Because they got what they wanted. Wtf are you talking about?

RealNiceLady · 2022-04-22T23:45:31+00:00

If you think that sex is the only useful thing you have to offer the logical move would be to use it well and often. This conclusion doesn't really make sense.

bluestjuice · 2022-04-22T23:44:48+00:00

I would say women who withhold sex do so because they’re trying to navigate cultural demands that they be sexually reticent, not easy, keep their n-count low, etc.

Although no longer the only cultural message regarding female sexual behavior, the shift has only added conflicting messages and ambiguity, not created a situation where women are universally rewarded for acting sexually. Reconciling all of these influences and her own actual desires is a lot.

Snekky3 · 2022-04-23T00:10:21+00:00

Women want to figure out if they like you before they have sex with men. And men tend to ghost women that have sex too soon. What are you talking about?

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-04-23T00:49:16+00:00

Most women withhold sex because there are biologically consequences to sex especially if you are a woman. The consequences to sex are more serious physically, emotionally, and socially for a woman than for a man. I waited until marriage because it gave me the best chance if the worst were to happen. Most women wait, not necessarily until marriage, to reduce risk.

Nut_Cutlet · 2022-04-23T00:45:04+00:00

You are not risking anything when you make a joke, sex comes with risks especially for women. Men do not have as many negative outcomes in regards to sexual encounters, so women have more to risk by having sex early. It's not manipulation it's just common sense. Men are also known to lie more in order to get women in bed, when you have sex with a man you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position so it's better to be cautious. Part of waiting for sex is also showing that you are both able to control yourselves in the face of temptations, if someone can't do that, an LTR is more likely to fail.

87AudreyHorne · 2022-04-23T05:58:00+00:00

I have sex later on not because of any games but because I just don't feel comfortable having sex with someone I don't know well. I don't attach many emotions to sex or anything it's just a privacy thing.

Many of my friends are totally different than me. I have no moral issue with girls who like one night stands and easily engage in sex and I am not experiencing any social pressures towards either side. But I have my inhibitions and I have no issue with them

I guess I can satisfy myself and don't feel like I need sex so badly, so it just needs to come with a certain ease

ThrowRAanonymouspick · 2022-04-22T23:43:11+00:00

The whole thing is a balancing act. Make people wait too long and you'll lose some who were genuinely interested. Don't make them wait long enough and you'll accept some with other intentions. And these times vary per-person so there's not a one size fits all solution.

Bottom line do what you're comfortable with, don't take the results personally, and over time you'll arrive in the arms of someone who shares that stance (hopefully)

sarkington · 2022-04-22T23:50:31+00:00

No, it’s because men like sex and will leave afterwards

KikiYuyu · 2022-04-23T03:58:15+00:00

Another one of these? Okay.

My theory is most women withhold sex when dating because they’re afraid they don’t have anything else to offer so they use it as a carrot stick.

That makes absolutely no sense. If a woman was insecure and thought sex was the only thing she had to keep a man with her, she'd put out sooner rather than later. Women who use sex for their own ends actually have to engage in sex. You can't use something without... using it.

You think a guy is going to meet a beautiful woman with a great personality who he enjoys spending time with...then ghost her because they had sex?

Yes. Some men only want sex. Why do you think pick up artists exist? Why do you think there exist men who have had sex with hundreds of women?

And If that did happen would you want to date that guy anyway?

That's not the issue. The issue is women don't want to go through that ordeal, so they try to avoid feeling used and discarded.

A lot of women claim that it’s “setting a boundary” when in reality it’s just manipulation. You’re intentionally blocking of a portion of the relationship for your own gain.

Goddamn right it's for our own gain. And that gain is emotional security. Many women don't want sex until we feel safe enough because heartbreak kind of fucking sucks dude.

Worst part is some women will make a dude wait a ridiculous amount of time, and when he breaks it off it’s “all he wanted was sex”.

If waiting for sex makes you bail, then yeah that's was what you wanted the most.

Imagine if a dude was funny, noticed you started giggling and then said “oh sorry. I can’t let you get to know my sense of humor before I know you well enough”

Holy hell. If you really think access to humour and access to someone's body are in any way comparable, you are detached from emotions and from reality. Do you have no concept of intimacy? Vulnerability? Privacy? Do you think women should spread their legs for you as easily as they would tell a joke? Fuck right off oh my god.

I’m not saying women need to jump into bed on the first date but if you’re intentionally stifling the romantic part of a romantic relationship it’s probably because you don’t have much else to offer that would keep a guy otherwise

Again that makes absolutely no fucking sense. You've only come to this conclusion because it's all you could come up with within your very narrow view. I don't know how much you've ever tried to understand a woman's point of view but you clearly did not try hard enough.

Women usually withhold sex because they're not ready to take that risk. If you find that unacceptable I encourage you to bail. Every one of those women will be better off with someone with a little compassion.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-04-23T04:57:04+00:00

Yeah not. Sorry people are allowed to take their time and have sex when they're comfortable doing so. Stop acting like a spoiled brat.

SnooEpiphanies7684 · 2022-04-22T23:41:12+00:00

I disagree with this whole heartedly heatedly. Me being one of "those women", I can assure you I have a hell of a lot more to offer than just sex.

It just seems that things change after the sex (I'm pretty damn fun with sex) so no I don't think they change cuz I suck.

For example, there is this one guy we shall call him D. D and I were friends for a very long time and would sometimes talk for hours and hours about everything. He was 100 fun to be with, handsome, sweet, smart and driven. He treated me better than anyone I'd ever known.

Then we did it. And fuck ya it was good

But now I'm accused of all kinds of shit that isn't true, ignored put down sometimes and our conversations are ok but not like we were. Our chemistry was off the chain but now skips a little.

How to get that back I don't know. I just know he was open and had enough of his own life I never would have felt smothered, he was killer in bed I didn't have to hide anything I liked and was my very best friend.

We are still good but, I miss that chemistry.

PS sorry for the long winded rant

Meat_Mockasin · 2022-04-23T06:19:41+00:00

OR maybe she'll have sex when she feels comfortable?

ohdiddly · 2022-04-23T04:00:42+00:00

I’ve seen countless men on this sub claim that they would never want to date a woman who ‘puts out’ on the first date or first few dates. Maybe that’s why lmao?? You put these arbitrary standards on women to not act to slutty and then you wonder why they don’t give out sex easily?

hearyoume14 · 2022-04-23T00:55:40+00:00

I’m glad for my brain damage for once jeez.

It’s that way for some but not most.

Withholding sex is manipulation but declining or not wanting it is not in its self.

Honestly if that’s her parameters then you either accept them or leave. Going with your second paragraph why would a guy stay with a woman who was being manipulative? I get guys don’t have as many options as women do but you aren’t getting one of your big conditions met why stay?

ddouchecanoe · 2022-04-23T06:25:58+00:00

You think a guy is going to meet a beautiful woman with a great
personality who he enjoys spending time with...then ghost her because
they had sex?

I think the logic is that they think to themselves "She had sex with me.. a total stranger whom she has only known for a few hours.. There must be something wrong with her judgement."

mandoa_sky · 2022-04-23T08:20:25+00:00

if you live in texas or the bible belt - i'd say it's more down to health being more important than sex (can't get an abortion even if you needed one)

januaryphilosopher · 2022-04-23T08:35:51+00:00

If you have sex early on, you're not going to know all the great things about her and you're just going to have sex because the other person looks decent and you're both horny. So you're likely to just move on, you can't expect commitment from casual sex. Most women aren't even interested in casual sex anyway so they're just refraining from doing something they don't like. I prefer to wait because it only makes me comfortable to have sex once I'm in love, because I want the chance for both of us to be able to display what we offer first, and I believe that the proper direction is for love and commitment to come before sex. I don't really know what I'd gain here that he doesn't also gain, it's not like I just do it for fun or whatever. I felt I had nothing else to offer, then I don't know why I'd expect to be able to date without having sex. And sex is not romance, it is sex.

Reisiluu · 2022-04-23T09:45:39+00:00

most women withhold sex when dating

a guy is going to meet a beautiful woman with a great personality who he enjoys spending time with

Are you talking about going on dates, meeting up and spending time with someone?

You’re intentionally blocking of a portion of the relationship

you’re intentionally stifling the romantic part of a romantic relationship

Or are you talking about a bf/gf couple who are in a monogamous relationship?

There is no such thing as "withholding" sex from someone who is not your significant other.

pearllovespink · 2022-04-23T11:13:26+00:00

You’re a bit lost. Some men date women with zero intentions of taking it any further. Their motive is to use women for sex. I’m withholding sex to get to know you better. I can learn things about you while seeing of you are in this for the right reasons. Most men who just want sex won’t take women on multiple dates. Why? They’re not interested in getting to know you. The goal from the beginning was to take you home.

We’re getting to know you while weeding out the bad apples.

Why would I want to sleep with someone who has the wrong intentions? You think they deserve sex? Do you know how women feel when they’re used for sex?

There is no reason to rush sex when a man who really likes me won’t complain and will be happy to take me out again. He’s in it for the right reasons

Also, why is waiting to have sex later down the line considered “withholding sex”? We’re not in a relationship and you are NOT owed sex. I can’t withhold anything I’m not obligated to do.

DXBrigade · 2022-04-23T11:35:53+00:00

Lame attempt at shaming women who are afraid of being pumped and dumped. Instead of blaming women who "withhold sex", blame men who fake interest in women to sleep with them.

womandatory · 2022-04-23T11:57:53+00:00

Aaaand the same guys who think this way will turn up their nose at a woman who’s had sex with more than a few men.

What do you want women to do? Fuck every guy who shows an interest in them? Then what? Marry your imaginary virgin who’s waiting for you to finish fucking every other woman you want to before you marry her?

Utterly delusional way of approaching relationships.

Let’s turn it around. Men should fully commit (emotionally, romantically, financially and physically) to every woman he has sex with. Sound ridiculous? Yeah.

If women hold back on having sex with men they date it’s for two reasons. First is that sex holds far higher risks for women than men. Second is vetting for his interest in her as a person, not as a set of holes to fuck. Both are completely acceptable reasons to wait.

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2022-04-23T12:03:53+00:00

I can totally understand why women do not/should not have sex too early.. There are plenty of guys out there for sex and willing to lie and future fake to get it, even guys with genuine intentions for an LTR can change their mind, or they simply find out that they are not for each other. On the other hand men, looking for ltr-s also appreciate low notch counts, so there is a contradiction there thats created by us (men) but is left for women to solve.

As for the manipulation part.. I am pretty sure that women can and do use this for manipulation. We all manipulate though. But they can only manipulate men with no options or men - who they know is - fully into them. What you can not manipulate is genuine desire. Signs of that are actually visible without having to have sex. That's what really is important to be present.

missionarymechanic · 2022-04-23T13:04:11+00:00

Yes. I, too, believe that other people owe me sex to be of any value...

Your claim is that women worry that they don't have anything else to offer, but the thrust of this word salad is focused solely on sex. And that somehow not having sex is wrong.

BKLD12 · 2022-04-23T16:58:20+00:00

Or it could be as simple as she literally doesn't want to have sex with you at that moment. Not everything a woman does is with the intention of manipulating everyone around her, especially when it comes to romantic partners.

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-04-23T05:36:26+00:00

We dont have sex with you because we dont like you.

avoriure · 2022-04-23T00:47:39+00:00

i wouldn’t say most. and the women that do withhold sex because they think it’s all they have to offer, were probably raised around men who only saw value in it. if men are only going after you for sex, you’re going to start believing it’s all you have. these women are insecure and need to learn that sex isn’t all they have to give. learn to be discerning, stable, and secure so you won’t feel that way. women who don’t have anything to offer are normally not stable. women are born with characteristics that have value alone.

when i had self esteem issues, i felt the same way. now i don’t give up sex because i don’t think the majority of men that talk to me are worth enough to have access to my mind and body. a guy telling me i have no worth other than my body has no effect on me anymore. i’m not okay with being anyone’s flesh light especially if they’re not benefiting me at all

Quealpedoestoy · 2022-04-23T05:02:15+00:00

I’m not saying women need to jump into bed on the first date but if you’re intentionally stifling the romantic part of a romantic relationship it’s probably because you don’t have much else to offer that would keep a guy otherwise

IMO you are wrong, if she only has sex to offer (wich allready is an extreme case), she could offer sex thats not easy to find in other women, like threesomes, BDSM o other more niche/extreme kinks.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-04-23T06:25:49+00:00

they just don't want to have sex with you. I think you're over thinking it.

RealNiceLady · 2022-04-23T11:15:01+00:00

Most women withhold sex because they are afraid they don’t offer anything else

Think again

You think a guy is going to meet a beautiful woman with a great personality who he enjoys spending time with...then ghost her because they had sex?

Of course. Happens all the time.

And If that did happen would you want to date that guy anyway?

This is very common male behavior though.

You’re intentionally blocking of a portion of the relationship for your own gain.

Women don't have a lot of power in dating. The only power we have is refusing sex.

Imagine if a dude was funny, noticed you started giggling and then said “oh sorry. I can’t let you get to know my sense of humor before I know you well enough” that would be ridiculous and you’d think he’s insane.

Not comparable to sex though.

but if you’re intentionally stifling the romantic part of a romantic relationship it’s probably because you don’t have much else to offer that would keep a guy otherwise

Sex isn't necessarily romantic though. Sex is the primary thing the female gender offers men. It's the only power we have in dating. Men have all the other power. Don't get mad at me for wielding the only power that I have.

JameisBong · 2022-04-23T11:56:36+00:00

Yes, but for different reasons. Sex is the only meaningful thing they can leverage for a relationship or resources.

Shredddz · 2022-04-23T12:02:31+00:00

yes. women will come up with all kinds of excuses, but observe how women change their behavior and attitude completely once you fucked them the first time. Once you got them to have sex, they lost their manipulative power, because they can not longer threaten the guy with not being able to get her, because all excuses to withhold it vanish if its already done once, and the guy knows that he doesnt have to conform to the stupid rules of female power play anymore.

Thats why mens efforts drop off when they had sex the first time with a women. Its insane that women get upset when they are no longer pedestalized and treated like normal people in a relationship, which shows that they perceive equal and just behavior as bad and low effort, and perceive pedestalization as normal and expected.

mamadeau · 2022-04-23T14:29:06+00:00

HAHAHA No. There are tons of reasons why a woman might not want to jump in the sack. My advice to men?

Ask.

Just ask instead of assuming it's manipulation her part. What a toxic idea to spread about women.

For myself personally - I am one of those women who have made men "wait". And not a ridiculous amount of time either. About 3 weeks to a month. My reasons for it are as follows:

Gauge genuine interest: I can't speak for all women, but for me, my experience is that I am "a fleeting moment of intrigue" for a lot of men. Meaning - they find me attractive and give me their full attention and by the next day I am completely forgotten/irrelevant. After this happening so many times to me, I decided to not get "too excited" when I meet a man who seems interested in me because often it's just for that moment in time. Maybe they were in a good mood that day. Maybe they just wanted to flirt. Maybe they had a few too many beers and had their "beer glasses" on when they saw me. I don't know. But I had to learn to temper my excitement when a man showed interest in me because it often led to nothing and I don't want to sleep with a man who is hot/cold.
I want to get to know the man: Men should take it as a compliment that I'm not looking at them like they're a piece of meat. I truly want to get to know him before getting into it. See what he's like, his interests, his outlook on life. It's a sign of respect for him that I see him as a person instead of someone who can simply scratch my itch.
Personal past trauma: I have been in bad relationships in the past (not all romantic - some were friendships too) with men and women alike. Certainly most of my relationships with other people have been healthy, but the few that were toxic had left a bad enough impression that I had to learn to pump the brakes and listen to my intuition more. In those few bad relationships I had with those men, I had been criticized and put down about my appearance, which made me fearful and reluctant to have sex with men incase that should happen again. Obviously I worked with a therapist to address this. But in no way was this manipulation.

In conclusion - I wait to have sex because I want to make healthy decisions in my life and learn from my mistakes. If a man can't wait a few weeks and court me (and I'll be honest, most can't), then I have my answer, and the answer is this: I was never considered an option for a LTR by him and probably never even genuinely liked by him. It was, in all likelihood, just lust. Depressing for me, but at least I found out the truth before giving myself to someone who didn't appreciate me.

2022-04-23T14:33:08+00:00

They withhold it from guys they like to give them the image they aren't easy. They give it to guys they don't really like because they don't care.

2022-04-23T16:03:09+00:00

Conversely, if she’s an amazing person, funny, intelligent, you enjoy spending time with her, she’s caring and attentive, but she doesn’t want to have sex until marriage, does that make you the shallow asshole that only cares about sex if you leave her?

PurpleKittensRock · 2022-04-23T17:28:22+00:00

Has it ever entered your mind that a woman simply might not feel comfortable having sex with a perceived stranger early on? That level of comfort for some people needs to develop through time/experience together?

Sex does not necessarily equate to romance for everyone. “Romance” to me is courtship, spending time together, developing feelings.

And I personally feel like a lot of women, like me, still need a lot more than just physical attraction to want to let someone into their body. I’m sure I am not the only one who thinks this.

LillthOfBabylon · 2022-04-24T00:53:23+00:00

My theory is most women withhold sex when dating because they’re afraid
they don’t have anything else to offer so they use it as a carrot stick.

No, it's because most women know not to fuck dudes solely because he says "I love you".

Being comfortable is key.
Fucking someone to keep them committed NEVER WORKS.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-04-23T04:02:58+00:00

Withholding sex is due to social brainwashing that has taken places over countless generations to the point it is permeated in every culture. The belief is that a woman has no self respect if she gives away her sex for free. Women have created the pussy cartel, which stipulates that any woman who gives away her sex for free is undermining the cartel controlled marketplace for sex and as such, she must be shamed. We all know the four letter word used for a woman like this.

Some, very stupid men I should add, but into this belief, and thusly they believe any woman who sleeps wjth them without expecting anything in return other than a good time (hopefully), must herself be worthless and unworthy of respect and therefore used and discarded. And men do do that. Ironically, treating women like this makes it harder and harder for countless men to obtain the casual sex they so desire.

This leads women to play hard to get because they think this is the only way to get a guy to believe they are worthy of his respect in the process hurting both themselves and the guy, because let's face it there is nothing they would rather do than have sex wjth someone they find attractive.

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RealNiceLady · 2022-04-23T09:02:20+00:00

Women withhold sex if you aren't attractive. Hot guys get head and ass after dancing with her for 15 minutes at the club or by sending a couple of goofy messages on Tinder. Average guys have to work for it and pay a higher price. Women have to pretend they are attracted to these men and try to find chemistry in their pewsonalityy

Hoopy223 · 2022-04-22T23:55:15+00:00

In relationships its more control. If you do X (work overtime, buy me something) you get Y (nookie). I have known a lot of guys in shitty marriages like that.

LotBuilder · 2022-04-23T02:05:14+00:00

Agreed, and if the sex was good the guy would stick around. So the reality is they know withholding mediocre sex will keep you around longer than having it.

ddouchecanoe · 2022-04-23T20:27:29+00:00

Prior to being in a relationship, I found sex with men I didn't know well to be extremely emotionally draining. It did not feel like there were any "just having fun" type positives and I rarely engaged in it.

I consider "know well" to mean feeling comfortable with someone, feeling as though I have a true sense of their values, interests, etc and I have had time to see that these are genuine through their behavior. I also would "withhold sex" until I was confident that the other person was interested in me long term, not because I have "nothing else to offer," but because I don't have the energy to have a string of sexual experiences with guys I don't know that well who are not looking for the same thing as me.

You can judge women who don't put out as insecure, but I wouldn't put out because I judge a mans "sex by three dates or bust" policy to mean that he has loose morals and doesn't actually have a firm grasp on what he is looking for. Other than sex of course.

You absolutely can tell if you have sexual chemistry with someone without having sex with them. Men who push the narrative that women who won't have sex after three dates are either "not attracted" or "have hang ups" are trying to rationalize with the fact that they see sex as a priority over a genuine connection centered around trust.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-04-23T00:49:09+00:00

It's not because they don't offer anything else, it's because sex and sexual attraction is the main difference between our relationship and just a really good friendship or roommate situation lol, and while the woman may offer a lot of other really good qualities, even if some women don't want to admit it the main reason a lot of guys put up with some of the bullshit that lady's pool is because of either sex or the potential for sex

Transmigratory · 2022-04-23T01:47:50+00:00

I suppose they feel its all they have to offer to the man in question. That implies they know this guy could be in it purely for the sex and they're hoping they can change him. Why, well, men everywhere would like to know.

RealNiceLady · 2022-04-23T06:58:12+00:00

I've known some to hold out because they've done the casual sex thing and then they want something deeper. Which makes no sense that they would make any guy wait after doing that. You already did the damage. You can't expect some guy to take you seriously that it's an exclusive thing when you've never been exclusive. That's like McDonald's suddenly having a cover charge and jacking up the prices.

Smooth-Erect · 2022-04-23T07:24:32+00:00

Big facts

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-04-23T08:57:01+00:00

Some women perhaps but not all.

sublimemongrel · 2022-04-23T12:07:44+00:00

Do you consider it “withholding commitment” if a man takes some time to get to know a woman before he jumps into a relationship with her/makes sure he likes her and they are compatible, etc?

2022-04-23T13:02:55+00:00

We withhold sex because something emotional is blocking us.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-04-23T17:17:31+00:00

Many guys are only looking for sex. I don’t like to be used by someone pretending they are interested in me. I am way more likely to have sex with the 25yo telling me ‘I am not looking for anything serious’ than with a 30 yo who pretends to be interested in what I have to say. And yes, I bring way more than sex into a potential relationship, and I do take a couple of dates to see if I want anything to do with a guy.

321gumby · 2022-04-23T17:29:33+00:00

Or they offer it up fast because they don't have much else to offer.

SadPatient28 · 2022-04-23T17:39:02+00:00

Amen.

06534956 · 2022-04-23T18:10:27+00:00

Withholding implies that the other party is somehow entitled to whatever the thing is.

No man is entitled to a woman’s love, affection, sex, or access to her body. It’s not his, it doesn’t belong to him, and he doesn’t get to choose when and how often he receives it.

Are people on this sub really that stupid?

RealNiceLady · 2022-04-23T18:37:31+00:00

As a matter of principle, I think everyone should save their virginity for marriage.

Goth_Lizard · 2022-04-23T18:56:25+00:00

So what do you propose

PhilosopherHistorian · 2022-04-23T19:10:50+00:00

Sometimes, other times it’s more of a shit test. Or maybe they have social anxiety or want to make sure the person they have sex with is clean of STD’s.

CakeSprinklesUnicorn · 2022-04-24T23:49:45+00:00

Nah, it’s because online dating is a buyer’s market for women (as of 2021, Tinder is 78% male and 22% female while Hinge/Bumble are 65% male and 35% female), and we’re looking for the one who is going to be the best match out of the dozens of matches and date offers we get each week. The man is essentially competing with the other men who also are offering introductory dates at the same time.

Since online dating is a buyer’s market for women, the woman is taking the employer role and the man is essentially an **applicant, competing with dozens of other men for the same job.**

If the woman is withholding sex, it’s because you, as the man, haven’t proved yourself worthy of the boyfriend/husband job role (be it through finances, loyalty, trustworthiness, personality, commitment, etc) and thus haven’t gotten the job. Online dating is overwhelmingly a buyer’s market for women, and women (who are essentially the employers here) get to decide what benefits they’ll be doling out to employees, let alone applicants.

Title	Most women withhold sex because they are afraid they don’t offer anything else
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	74
Comments	480
Date	April 22, 2022 11:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/u9rt3w/most_women_withhold_sex_because_they_are_afraid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-women-withhold-sex-because-they-are-afraid.1210100 https://theredarchive.com/post/1210100

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