You cannot really have a submissive wife/gf and not view them as inferior to some degree

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-06-20T07:40:46+00:00

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Novel-Tip-7570 · 2023-06-20T07:53:30+00:00

I don’t want a submissive wife personally. But you taking the lead does not mean someone is inferior, nor does it mean you are always right and have the last say. It doesn’t mean you don’t have to take the other persons opinion into regard.

Philip8000 · 2023-06-20T07:31:19+00:00

Perhaps, but the thing is, I'm not looking for someone who's submissive to me. What I'd like is to find someone to share my life and experiences with, that I can trust and be willing to accept me. And yes, of course I'd do the same.

LoomingCrimson · 2023-06-20T09:58:56+00:00

As a larger response to your post I’ll lay out some of my opinions on this topic.

Someone being submissive does not mean blind obedience. It may be how some others define submissive behaviour but that is not what it is.

Leadership requires qualities not everyone has in equal parts. Much of the world is comprised of people who want to lead and take on those responsibilities and others who want to follow and complement a leader instead of doing it themselves. Following is a fine decision and requires different work than leading does.

A competent and contributing follower will still advise or warn their leader of danger or oversights the leader has made. They may offer input where they believe it’s necessary and valuable as they are still a contributing member of the group.

The follower may not ultimately decide a direction the leader takes both of them but that is by design. The follower has opted into this choice and is comforted and contented by being led by a person with a skill set the follower either cannot or does not want to cultivate for themselves.

In the unfortunate event a follower finds themselves with an incompetent or unsafe leader, they can and should leave that situation as it’s clearly not working for them.

I don’t see inferiority baked into individuals choosing specialized roles for their relationships.

I see the possibility for misuse or exploitation and that’s certainly true and something to be mindful of when considering power differentials in relationships. But they aren’t inherently good or bad or all or nothing. They are dependent on how people define and operate within them.

Affectionate_Pen_623 · 2023-06-20T08:29:54+00:00

My bosses possibly views me as inferior in some way. Do I turn down my 250k because of such?

These posts are fucking stupid. In MOST human interactions, there tends to be a leader and a follower. There are plenty of interactions where you adhere to those with greater experience, knowledge and leadership. Why is it in relationships where people suddenly now get bent out of shape about it?

A lot of people want to sit there and pretend they live this "egalitarian" fantasy but, 95% of the time I've seen it, the guys just a pussy and the women openly disrespects him in some way. The sheer amount of posts I read on here with women casually disrespecting their modern, "equal" partners makes me laugh at anyone claiming wanting submissiveness in a woman is wrong.

Nihi1986 · 2023-06-20T15:21:24+00:00

I like my partners to not be constantly fighting or giving strong opinions with cero information on the subject (basically because that makes you stupid), but submissive?? Who wants a 'submissive wife' and why would you want that...? Sounds boring and unhealthy. Perhaps they mean 'supportive'?

Anyway, I guess you could see her as 'filling her traditional femenine role' and not necessarily as inferior. That is, if you consider traditional roles to be just specialized roles and not a hierarchy.

YveisGrey · 2023-06-20T12:31:18+00:00

I learned the whole submissive wife thing was more like a president and vice president relationship. So it’s not like the wife has no say or counsel I guess the president just shoulders the ultimate responsibility and has the final say. But typically homemakers have some authority they usually manage the home and if there are children they definitely have authority over them. So I don’t know if it’s about being inferior, per say. Wives are usually consulted by their husbands.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-06-20T15:03:45+00:00

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DevThaGodfatha · 2023-06-20T16:37:59+00:00

I get what you’re trying to say broski. I don’t 100% agree but I do understand how you feel. I feel that way more towards to finances department of it. Like , if everything in our lives revolves around my 16 digit card number and having sufficient funds for not just me , but an entire separate human being and HER car note, credit card bills , gas , then our mortgage/rent , utilities , food , at that point I’ll look at you as inferior and an unnecessary part of my life that needs to be cut out with a scalpel. Financial liability . I’d eventually grow to resent and hate her at that rate

pagan6990 · 2023-06-20T17:58:51+00:00

I served 21 years in the US military in various leadership positions. Never once did I think of any of those I lead as “inferior” to me as a human being.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-06-20T18:24:00+00:00

Yes in traditional relationships the man is superior( stronger, smarter, taller, financially well off and masculine ) than the woman. But here's the caveat, whether a woman is traditional or not, most women want a man that's stronger, smarter, taller , financially well of and more masculine than she is. Women do not want men that are their equal, they want men that are higher value than them. This is the base definition of hypergamy

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-06-20T20:32:05+00:00

As a woman, I fully agree with your take, OP, and I don’t understand it at all. I can’t imagine going into a relationship with the expectation that I would be submissive to my partner in all ways. I’m an adult; I don’t need a leader.

WhitePeopleEatPork · 2023-06-21T02:18:13+00:00

You cannot really have a submissive wife/gf and not view them as inferior to some degree

I mean yeah we are superior. With a bit of training you can pick her up and throw her across the room, she will never be able to do that even with steroids.

Men are also mentally stronger. If someone insults you, you likely wont give a shit. If someone insults her, she will cancel you, and call police, and make a twitter post.

In my opinion women are too sensitive to be leaders.

DeepHouseDJ007 · 2023-06-20T12:13:45+00:00

Lets make an analogy.

A person owns a machining company. The owner doesnt have a clue about machining, he just got the tools from his dad. Does he think he is better at machining than the guys he precisely picked up to do this job, because he just can't?

Being superior in hierarchy = being superior in everything or even as a net value is nonsense which highly socially oriented people like to think. It is a fallacy and a mental/moral issue in my sincere opinion.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2023-06-20T11:11:15+00:00

I can't imagine how you can view yourself as a leader and not see the other person as inferior

Wow. That's a great attitude for a leader to have. Everybody is going to want to follow a leader who thinks that way - for sure.

Or ...or... OOOORRRR

Maybe it's possible to be a leader in a group of equals. Maybe the mere fact that one person stepped up and took charge doesn't mean they view everyone else as inferior. Is that possible, do you think?

conspicuoussgtsnuffy · 2023-06-20T12:28:12+00:00

Big doubt. Within a pair of humans, one will always be submissive to the other to a degree. This is human nature. What the “non-submissive” person thinks of the submissive one is subjective to the individual. What you’re thinking of is a narcissist. This is understandable since narcissism is one of the main problems we have in western culture.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-06-20T14:03:49+00:00

I don't think most guys redpill or otherwise even want specifically a submissive girl, submissive is just the word they use to describe what would probably more accurately be described as "agreeable." A relationship with two highly opinionated or independent people can result in the two butting heads a lot. Men want women that complement them rather than compete with them. A team player rather than a second team captain. And I think you can defer or "submit" to a leaders plans or directions without being a "submissive person," it just means you two have different roles.

DzejSiDi · 2023-06-20T11:20:47+00:00

Technically speaking you're right. I am inferior in many aspects compared to an average woman (eg. cooking skills), and I don't even think about it. Same at my work, I am inferior in position to my supervisor and?

Women subconsciously find themselves inferior to men and are often busy trying to prove otherwise. Even if a woman is into super equal/partnership approach, I will find her inferior in some aspects... if I ever would think about it, power struggle dynamics in a relation are cancerous. Men do powerstruggle between themselves, to compete for status, resources and so on. They want a break from it inside own f***ing house.

And this puts women in a vulnerable state where they can be taken advantage of and abused.

And children are not slightly, but vastly inferior to adults, so they're way more vulnerable. Forget about women, think about children! Why they're not constantly abused in your average family?

Karmanger · 2023-06-20T12:26:40+00:00

You are redefining Submissive to fit your altered definition.

skon7 · 2023-06-20T13:15:56+00:00

The red pill often says that men are better than women. Myron Gaines of Fresh and Fit often champions this message. He will ask women on his panel if they want a man who is stronger than them, more confident than them, makes more money than them etc and when they say yes he says “well then you want a man who is better than you”

In My opinion I think this is stupid. I’ll tell you why….. yes women want men who are physically stronger than them. But men are biologically on average stronger than women, because this was in gods design that men protect woman. Women can however deliver a baby. We are more emotionally intelligent, and yes we can even be intellectually stronger than men too. So we have our strengths and weaknesses. I just feel like submission is about making a commitment to a man. It’s not about taking shit from a man or being subservient which is the reputation that word has.

And as for confidence, I find with my last man that he was confident in some areas of his life and others he wasn’t. Same with me. Where he lacked, I gained. Vice versa. So it’s completely okay to have some strong suits over your man, and he can also have some that you don’t have: you balance each other out that way and are able to help one another as team.

Far_Significance2023 · 2023-06-20T12:12:20+00:00

Do you see your children as inferior?

alxjones · 2023-06-20T12:55:55+00:00

I can tell you’ve never been in a leadership role.

Your subordinates can be submissive to you as a leader but it doesn’t make them “inferior” or “always wrong”

someone has to steer the ship or it’ll be a runaway truck…

Barely-moral · 2023-06-20T12:53:22+00:00

I can't imagine how you can view yourself as a leader and not see the other person as inferior and I can't imagine how you can want to be submissive and not view yourself as inferior.

Sounds like you have an unhealthy relationship with authority and leadership.

Leading/following has nothing to do with being superior/inferior.

Let's examine what "submissive" means in this context. It means that you accept someone as your leader. You accept someone that is basically always right and you accept that you're always wrong because "they have the last say". In order to accept something like this you have to some extent view yourself as less capable , less smart , less rational. In other words you have to view yourself as inferior. And this puts women in a vulnerable state where they can be taken advantage of and abused.

No. Some people like to lead, some people like to follow. It has nothing to do with being superior/inferior.

Some people thrive and live happily under pressure and responsibility, some people lose their joy because of the same. The first group wants to lead no matter if they are superior/inferior, the second group wants to follow no matter if they are superior/inferior.

JustACasualTraveler · 2023-06-20T10:30:26+00:00

Have you never led someone through a forest? Have you never directed collaborative work? Have you never taken charge of where a hangout is going?

All leadership actions, none of superiority/inferiority.

All of human history has had leaders and followers, and that does not entail inferiority.

Of course there’s shitty leaders who want people to submit for them to be superior. Most just want people to submit to function effectively as a team.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-06-20T08:13:43+00:00

Most women want a masculine and dominant guy who will lead them, protect them and take care of them. So by definition, he's superior to her.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-06-20T08:54:47+00:00

I mean I really don't know. I know that behaving somewhat submissively, as in letting the guy take the lead, makes you more attractive to him. But I wouldn't say think he's better than you or something, or that he can control your life. It's just a role you play sometimes.

Male-female interactions are an intricate dance when they are at their finest. That is what I am hoping to achieve rather than just purely submitting to the man. I like to create intrigue and passion this way. It's more like a man and a woman dancing together, each one has a specific role when they do their choreography but it's ultimately for show and finesse more than anything. It's part of romancing him.

memyhim · 2023-06-20T13:39:41+00:00

You cannot exclude women for Selective Service and not view them as inferior.

princelydeeds · 2023-06-20T13:01:27+00:00

What an incredibly simple minded thought. This has all the thought, nuance and lived-experience of someone who just took their first women's studies class in college...

In any relationship, one person will be more dominant, just based on personality and aggressiveness.

My best friend has been with a woman for the last 15 years. She is super aggressive at her job, and kind of a bitch, having dealt with her at work. She runs a large, fast paced department, and she's super submissive to him at home. He has a super, dominant, aggressive personality.

She is submissive to him, but way more successful than him in real life. She doesn't think she's inferior to anyone...

Another good friend, is super submissive to his wife, she has a dominant personality and he has a very agreeable personality when he's in a relationship. He was never very nice or submissive when he was single, he was one of my wildest, friends ever. Dude owns a trucking business and is very successful.

People submit for a ton of reasons, feeling interior is such a dumbass take...

shmupsy · 2023-06-20T14:55:42+00:00

you don't understand the blessing that it is to have someone handle all the bullshit.

a more traditional family life can be so very fulfilling for both partners, and totally compatible with the modern idea that neither person is inferior. Submissiveness is not key. It's about complementary roles.

you hear so much bad talk about it on here, all these horror stories, I almost think there's an agenda behind it.

we heard plenty of good testimony about it before my wife and I made the jump, and it's been great.

My3rstAccount · 2023-06-20T21:15:50+00:00

I came from a traditional ass boring family and I can tell you from personal experience what they say in the movie my big fat Greek wedding is true. The man may have been the head of the family, but the woman was the neck. There’s a trade off in a traditional relationship that women don’t see, but I think they’re starting to

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2023-06-20T12:20:56+00:00

By the nature of women, I will always be superior to my partner.

Women want Taller, stronger, more rich, more competent, more experienced, etc… In other words women want someone who is superior. Therefore they will almost always be inferior to their partner

bottleblank · 2023-06-20T10:39:27+00:00

Yet we're still expected to be men, to provide, to protect, to eliminate violence against women.

Are they weak and fragile or not? Are they strong and independent or not?

Sure, women aren't a monolith, but if we're still expected to have a defined male gender role, define it, because otherwise we're just floating in a void being pulled in all directions from progressives, conservatives/feminists, traditionalists, being ridiculed and lambasted by whichever one we're not -ist enough for.

We're the ones being told we're not doing things right, we're the ones who don't have the freedom to be whatever we like and still get what we need, so tell us (with some cultural consensus) what it is that we have to be in order to not just vapourise into a cloud of painful existential irrelevance.

Edit: Downvote all you like, but if society is expected to remain cohesive - and it must, in order to prevent disobedience and violence - then we all must understand our roles and expectations. If women expect to be everything at once but refuse to tell men where they fit in, men will increasingly give up trying because there is no investment, no reward, no purpose.

bsmith440 · 2023-06-20T08:22:12+00:00

Inferiority in regards to people doesn't mean less valuable.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-06-20T10:32:38+00:00

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EverVigilant1 · 2023-06-20T12:17:07+00:00

OK.

I'm not seeing the problem...

In other words you have to view yourself as inferior. And this puts women in a vulnerable state where they can be taken advantage of and abused.

Then women should do it themselves and stop complaining about "where are all the good men". We will hang back in our hammocks and let you take care of us. When you divorce us we'll take you to court for lifetime alimony and we will take the kids and get child support. Then when that runs out we'll live off the government dole, paid for with all that tax money that women will be earning and paying into the system.

JonathonWally · 2023-06-20T07:14:10+00:00

Power dynamics are way more complicated than that. And you’re also missing some extremely important parts to said dynamics of a relationship such as love and trust. Each role has its strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

upalse · 2023-06-20T09:26:00+00:00

If you're excessively worried about "feeling disrespected" and "not wanting to be submissive", it's most likely because you don't have high opinion of yourself.

All of this is just first world mental health problem bullshit. All you need is a little bit of self-respect.

y2kjanelle · 2023-06-21T07:02:26+00:00

The funny thing is that men are proving the post right.

Submissive implies there is another person who has authority over them. That implies superiority.

If men truly wanted equal relationships but just wanted women in a certain role within the relationship, they wouldn’t actually call women submissive.

They’d say something like “I want a woman who is the LEADER of the household. The LEADER of emotional contexts. The LEADER of child rearing. The LEADER of whatever else, bringing peace, being flexible, etc”.

Implying that men just want women to “allow them to lead” the ENTIRE relationship proves that they view women’s work and opinions as inferior whether they like that criticism or not.

Also being agreeable, kind, flexible, peaceful, etc has nothing to do with being a leader or submissiveness. Often what makes a leader great IS the ability to be all of those traits listed. So really, those traits aren’t just seen in submissive women at all.

Peacesquad · 2023-06-20T13:03:19+00:00

Tell that to a woman that wants an “equal partnership” with a man that is superior to her in every way possible

WingclippedBirdman · 2023-06-20T08:26:31+00:00

you accept that someone is basically always right and you must be viewed as less capable, smart or rational

Not really. This is a lot of theory but not a lot of reality. I can view myself as more capable, more intelligent and more rational than my boss at work but I know I still have to defer to my boss' decisions even if I disagree with them. I can also still think I'm better than the boss and think hes a good boss for listening to me. I dont have to put myself down or feel inferior to my dumb boss just because hes my boss.

A submissive woman in a relationship has a lot more say than youd think, in reality its basically "she gives me veto power over important decisions" and you dont tend to have many of these in a relationship. There will be very few times in a relationship where youll ever need to use veto power like this, most everything else is a decision the two of you will agree on and the sub woman gets a lot of deference if not outright say in most day to day decisions.

When a major thing happens though like "do we move out of state for my job, giving me a massive pay raise" thats when veto power kicks in because do or dont theres a lot of gain and loss, especially if you're both not on board. The want for submission is for these moments, to know that I'm trusted to make this decision (after a lot of deliberation of course) and to know that it wont end a relationship if I do decide against your wants about this choice. Especially because sometimes theres no clear answer to "is it worth the money to uproot, think of the future we afford with the money but think of the loss of social circle, nearby family, etc."

lacuti3 · 2023-06-20T07:40:26+00:00

Girls take the word “submissive” too literally. It’s just being easygoing and letting guys have their way a lot of the time. Don’t ever argue, be pleasant, be easy to get along with, don’t ask for much. That’s how you should be treating your children too. Doesn’t mean you’re inferior to your children.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-06-20T11:11:05+00:00

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JustACasualTraveler · 2023-06-20T12:08:32+00:00

These are my thoughts on this: If you as a woman don’t accept your man as the leader, you have picked a man who’s capabilities you don’t trust to be better than your own. You have simply picked the wrong man. Of course I wouldn’t follow just ANYONE, any man. You follow YOUR man because you TRUST him and his leadership. If you truly follw him, he will not want to ever disappoint your trust. He will consider you in every decision, will even put your needs and wants before his own. Sometimes it can be hard in the moment, to see how his choices will benefit you, and here’s where you need to trust that he has you/his family’s best interests in mind. Sometimes his choices doesn’t seem to make sense at first, but later you will see it too. Again, if he doesn’t consider your needs and wants first, you have picked the wrong man for you.

Also, you are anytime free to decide to stop following a man, if he is cruel or disrespectful or makes very bad decisions for the two of you (although some bad decisions has to be accepted of course). You can always divorce him.

It’s not about you as a woman not being CAPABLE of leadership, making big desicions or having the financial responsibility. I think we women have proved that enough in this feminist age. I for one was a high achiver, I became a doctor in order to prove my worth to society and my independence… I could have continued with that my whole life, but truth is after only 3 years I was stressed out, I didn’t like the effective, emotionally closed off, non-sensitive person I was becoming and I was simply NOT HAPPY in that role. My romantic relationships kept falling apart and no wonder, we both wanted to be leaders so we would compete and argue (I never chose a submissive man).

A woman chooses to give up the leadership when she meets the man that she can trust, because it feels good to do so and because she knows that there are more important things to her. To have a happy relationships to her man, to her friends, to her family and to (if she wants) raise kids in a loving nurturing environment. She knows that her true gift to the world and her happiness is elsewhere, outside leadership and achivements. A woman needs to be in a open state of mind in order to be social, loving, nurturing, creative, happy, and she can be that if she doesn’t have to constantly lead or worry. It is in this state she will bring happiness to her husband and to everyone around her.

In most carreers, if you want to reach a high position, some (good kind of) aggressiveness/competetiveness is required. A man has 15-30 x as much testosteron as a woman which makes aggression and competition easier for him. For a woman it will be very energy consuming to be aggressive, since women are generally more sensitive/empathic by nature. And if you are aggressive all day at work, it will be hard to flip the switch once you get home to your husband and kids.

AND most men will NEVER be able to do the social planning (birthdays, social gatherings, holidays, keeping in mind what kids need each schoolday, homework, etc), nurturing the kids or keeping together a household better than a woman. A woman will always feel the need to intervene if she gives the man 50% of this work, why she will end up micromanaging and in the end doing much more work than him, which will stress her out and then the complaining cicle starts which builts lots of resentments.

A woman can absolutely have a job, but she needs to fully enjoy what she’s doing and any money that she brings in needs to be ”extra on top”. Her job should never compromise on her own happiness, her health, the relationship, the kids or the home environment.

Actually, all these arguments doesn’t really matter, I just know that it feels very, very good to follow and to be provided for. :D

Extreme-Nuance · 2023-06-20T09:47:35+00:00

Submission can actually be a real strength. At any time you can stop being submissive so the dominant partner has to earn both your trust and your submission as well as respecting you for allowing them to be in control

IncelNexus4 · 2023-06-20T09:40:11+00:00

And this puts women in a vulnerable state where they can be taken advantage of and abused.

Yes, children can also be taken advantage of and abused. Should we let children have the final say now?

Silver_Switch_3109 · 2023-06-20T10:14:07+00:00

Dominant people want submissive people because there is less conflict and they can have control. Submissive people want dominant people so decisions can be made and they don’t need to have control.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-06-20T08:19:12+00:00

Ofcourse you can! As a man I agree with a woman being submissive in a relationship because firstly, men are more stronger, bigger, and sometimes even smarter to some degree with a faster reaction timing. Furthermore they have testosterone which causes aggression and dominance which makes them more naturally dominant over the woman. Using all those points, a man can defend a woman and protect her in the streets. Protection and authority links as a man can tell the girl to not go that direction in the city because it can be too dangerous.

Second of all, if you don't wanna get cheated on more likely, being dominant as a man in a relationship will also do the trick because if a woman thinks your just a submissive guy who is scared and cannot defend her as well, she might aswell fuck a "Chad" (what they call in America) in the club because he is more dominant. And again, dominance and masculinity links as well.

Edit: Responsibility = authority = protection = masculinity (my opinion)

Edit 2: However, if a man who is dominant is being a abusive and taken advantage on, she always has a right to break up and move out. If she doesn't then he is breaking the laws and the police can be called.

Edit 3: Liberals are getting mad

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-06-20T13:10:28+00:00

I've usually seen the opposite in modern-day relationships. It is the men who are submissive and treated with disrespect. The difference between men taking charge and women taking charge is women are always abusive when they do. Men are natural leaders. And, yes, men are superior to women. We make up most leadership roles (congress, bosses, ceo etc). We build and maintain everything (infrastructure). I've never seen a woman construction worker or coal miner. We go to war to protect you so you can complain about men on reddit. Very few women do these things. So stop playing the victim. Women have clear advantages over men.

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zoxzoxzo · 2023-06-20T09:41:44+00:00

My long term ex was naturally submissive and a very traditional woman. She may have been "inferior" in that sense by someone else's views, but I never really looked at her that way or felt like I'm superior or whatever. These posts are a bit pointless to me though. This is just how human relationships work. Some people will naturally take the lead while others will follow. Otherwise I don't think it could work because if both persons want to take the lead, there would be a conflict and if both want to let the other one take the lead, they would stay in a dead spot. This can be translated well beyond dating domain.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-06-20T11:25:54+00:00

What you say is true up until the point where you make the leap from being inferior in certain relevant qualities to being inferior overall.

Women's ideal is a mate who is superior to them in the qualities that would make her somewhat submissive and him somewhat of a leader. It's subtle. She still views herself as an equal overall. She still gets a 50/50 say when she wants it.

And yes, if he is more dominant, she is more vulnerable in some ways. This is why a woman needs to pick well. When she does, this is a feature and not a bug.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2023-06-20T11:50:28+00:00

I Guess the Word ínfero has a bad connotation. So for example, I’m inferior to my boss, in no way does that make a me a inferior human being, it doesn’t mean I’m dumber, it doesn’t mean I’m weaker, it doesn’t I’m less attractive, it doesn’t mean a lot of thing haha. So in a way, yes they might be hierarchically inferior, but it doesn’t mean dumber or anything like that

throwaway1276444 · 2023-06-20T12:57:44+00:00

Depends on what arena we are discussing, I like to acknowledge our different strengths an weaknesses and am happy for the partner that has shown greater competency in any said task to take the reigns.

I don't feel inferior if she is better organised than me, or can install a router or home server, knows what will get a stain out, whatever.

Likewise, she doesn't feel inferior when I fix a broken electrical device, install a floor or help her pick and accessorise an outfit.

In most cases we one leads and the other is there to help, suggest or stay out of the way, whatever is sensible.

On the whole, my wife is naturally a bit more, take the back seat type of person. But I consult her in most things, because she is my partner and she has to live with any consequences, not just me. People should have the view of teamwork first, and then be happy to take the steps that produce the best results.

If you are better at everything, then you are bad at picking a partner.

liferelationshi · 2023-06-20T13:29:54+00:00

Not true

wagnerlight · 2023-06-20T13:43:28+00:00

All sub women aren’t inferior some just roleplay it as they like but can still control a lot of things but the majority of more submissive woman are definitely inferior in power dynamics on the household but that’s how majority of women prefer it.

KayRay1994 · 2023-06-20T14:04:27+00:00

nah - there is a healthy way to be the submissive partner in a relationship, and an unhealthy way - there is also a big point in knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are - i also don’t think healthy submission makes one inferior as they’d still be operating within their own strengths and the submission primarily functions through trust, not necessity.

Ex. healthy submission could look like discussing decisions, letting your input be heard while also making the more dominant partner the defacto decision maker because you’d both trust them to make the right decision and know their strengths lie in their decisiveness. Where as unhealthy and “inferior” submission might look like accepting anything your partner says cause they’re the boss.

Being submissive doesn’t work for everyone and that’s fine, people work in different ways - I also think it is worth looking at what people mean when they say they want a submissive partner since the words submissive and inferior are used almost interchangeably even though they mean different things

CardiologistFluid907 · 2023-06-20T14:04:56+00:00

In a traditional Christian relationship a wife is supposed to be submissive to your husband. Since my boyfriend and I have gotten together I have started to do more things in his favor for that. I really straightened myself up in a lot of ways I wouldn’t for anyone else. I think a lot of that comes for the respect he gives in return. A lot of my friends think it’s controlling, but in retrospect I’ve only stopped drinking/smoking and cleaned up my social media. I’m not as “wild” as I used to be.

2023-06-20T14:22:17+00:00

Completely untrue

TheCultOfGrogg · 2023-06-20T14:49:29+00:00

Secret_agent979 · 2023-06-20T15:02:19+00:00

I just look at her as the other side of the coin. She’s better at some things, I’m better at some.

SorryEm · 2023-06-20T17:23:54+00:00

I just want peace

2023-06-20T17:24:23+00:00

To put it bluntly, you're not entirely wrong with how people tend to view submission these days. Hell, some of these freaks are in the BDSM community and I've seen seasoned sadists that practice everything from CNC to extreme knife play warn against these types of people. Why? Because these guys hate boundaries and hate the idea that someone they view as interior can say "no."

Now where I disagree, is that this isn't how all men or even the bulk of men even some of the men here, view submission. But I concede a lot of the men here and elsewhere are the exact kinds of men who think submissive=free doormat/punching bag and they showcase this with their actions and words. Some people love and respect their partners and their submission, sure the man is the lead but he's not a dictator or a tyrant he actually appreciates all that his wife does, and she appreciates all that he does. These men I'm speaking of don't see their wives or girlfriends as inferior, they speak highly of them and not in that fake "happy family" way people do when they're trying to sell their life story to a stranger. If you asked these women about their husbands, I reckon they'd have similar sentiments, the ones who are afraid of their husbands or fear their reaction to admitting things aren't perfect are a little hard to spot but it's not difficult. They tend to be a little jumpy or go wide eyed if you ask them how their home life is. The husbands tend to have a permanent look of "fml" on their faces or they get very defensive when you imply that their wife is actually a soulless abusive shrew but they have that same pleading look in their eyes.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-06-20T17:36:13+00:00

Well I don't think someone is going to be 100 percent submissive but in terms of division of labor it could be rhe man's duty to decide many things while the woman's duty is to decide many other things such as how to best nurture thier children and dietary choices for the children while the man decides where rhey live where they send the kids to school etc etc. Even within those things it might be more complex with each partner getting to voice concerns.

pacificmaelstrom · 2023-06-20T17:58:20+00:00

This mindset assumes either (1.) The man is not actually a better leader than the woman and so could only maintain his position through punative means, and (2.) Even if he was a better leader, the woman would not be self aware enough to realize this or able to accept it, and (3.) Leadership ability is fundamental to someone's value as a human being and being a follower in any context makes you inferior.

None of these things are necessary true.

I think the confusion is because leadership is the basis of "Alpha" and the trait grants a man perceived value to both men and women, but fair or not, women are not evaluated on their leadership ability so do not experience much pressure to be leaders or necessarily feel inferior or ashamed over not being a leader in the way a man might.

She might be perfectly happy to put all the tough decisions and risks on you and be free from trying to pretend she has it all together.

abaxeron · 2023-06-20T18:06:33+00:00

I can't imagine how you can view yourself as a leader and not see the other person as inferior

I see my boss as a leader but I don't see myself as inferior. I sacrificed higher income (that he enjoys) for my higher comfort (that he doesn't). When he tells me to put the plug A into the socket B, I can tell him that doing things differently would have been better, but ultimately I am paid for following his instructions and not wasting his time.

The only difference is that in many instances, finding a new provider for a woman is easier than finding a new job for a man.

EWE-S-A · 2023-06-20T21:08:19+00:00

Exactly.

I know when shit goes down it is me who is stepping up. A woman needs to respect that.

Flash_4_Crab · 2023-06-21T00:58:54+00:00

>I can't imagine

Well if you can't imagine it it must be impossible.

>Always right

Nope that's not what Submissive means in this context. Being submissive doesn't mean mindless obeying at all times. Having the final say or expecting someone to understand that NOW isn't the time to argue isn't the same as always being right or wrong.

This one isn't even really debatable. You're just trying to obfuscate the meaning of submission to make it seem like it's something it's not.

2023-06-21T01:58:31+00:00

Fish aren't inferior to monkeys cause they cant climb trees. Both man and woman fill separate roles in a relationship and neither is inferior or superior for it

MistyMaisel · 2023-06-21T16:45:23+00:00

I don't think you understand what submitting to another is. I'd say I'm "submissive" to my boyfriend over-all. Yeah, he's the leader, but he's a leader of a wary soldier. He's under scrutiny and he knows I can rebel at any time if he's lost the plot or become a tyrant. And he knows to do so would mean he's likely to take heavier losses than I am. And so it behooves him to consult me about almost all matters under the sun.

And no, I do not accept that he's always right at all. Frankly, I let him make stupid decisions all the time, do my best to insulate myself from them, wait for them to blow up in his face (as stupid decisions tend to) and then wait for the part where I try to lovingly tell him, "I told you so" that way in the future he more heavily weighs the fact that my track record is pretty god damn solid.

The fact I allow his decisions to win out in no way implies I think they're more correct or even smart. I'm choosing for the health of our relationship together to let stupid shit that is avoidable, but not ultimately threatening to happen while doing my best to quietly preserve myself from it rocking my boat. And this is the heart of a lot of submission.

There's also the factor where while he may make the final decisions, I chose what he was picking between. Sure, I'm submissive about cooking dinner, but it was I who asked him if he wanted steak or fish. There's way more options than steak or fish, and yet those are the ones he's picking from...which means he's the leader...but I'm the architect of his decision. Again, this is often what submission is.

I hope you'll note, in no way does this man I think I'm less capable, less smart, or less rational. If anything, I think the opposite. I'm so capable, so smart, and so rational, that for the health of a relationship, the identity and ego of another person who I love (and their learning process), I will actively and knowingly submit my will to theirs. I do this because I love them, and because I know there's nothing he can screw up that I can't put right within the space of say a year of harder work.

Can this leave me vulnerable? Sure, if I was being blindly and thoughtlessly submissive. I don't think most women these days are like this because no one fed us a crock of lies that men are great rational beings who will care for us like princesses. We aren't out grand-mothers and mothers. We know how devastating the unchecked incompetence of a man can be. Thus all the men angry about the constant check they're under and the feeling that a woman isn't submitting to them like their grand-mothers did.

AdministrationOk4542 · 2023-06-24T23:22:46+00:00

I mean why is any of this a problem if there are two consenting, happy, adults? Being inferior or superior is not someone that all women consider a priority for themselves?

JustACasualTraveler · 2023-06-29T04:47:06+00:00

Are students in abusive relationships because they have to obey their teachers? Submission is not being a slave. It’s letting your partner take the lead because it’s HIS responsibility to do so. There’s a reason arranged marriages have such a high success rate. I wish my parents had picked one out for me that checked all their boxes. You can love anyone.

Title	You cannot really have a submissive wife/gf and not view them as inferior to some degree
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	103
Comments	414
Date	June 20, 2023 7:08 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14e3us5/you_cannot_really_have_a_submissive_wifegf_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/you-cannot-really-have-a-submissive-wifegf-and-not.1223122 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223122

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