Those against the Red Pill, where should a man go for dating advice?

TotalTravesty · 2024-01-28T18:51:08+00:00

I think the best way to learn how to be a better man is to have good male friends and mentors who know you and can cater their advice to you. I’d avoid any book or website that claims to have The Answer to manhood. How can anyone who doesn’t know you make you a better person?

So how do you make friends and find mentors? By giving yourself opportunities. By doing things that put you in close proximity with the same people regularly. Whatever it is you like to do by yourself, see if there are other people who like doing it so you can do it together. If you have a problem you’d like to solve or a topic you’d like to talk about (that is substantive, please. Communities about dating and relationships suck), find other people who want to talk about it. Make other people a part of your life and they’ll make you part of theirs. Before you know it, you’ll have a group of people just trying to get through this whole life thing together, hopefully making each other better in the process.

This answer is vague and probably not satisfying, but that’s the point: I don’t know you so I’m not going to pretend to know your personal path to growth. I’m just commenting to say be wary of those who claim to show you the way without knowing you. They’re probably trying to sell you something, recruit you into something, or just looking for company in their misery.

xxAlbacoreTuna69xx · 2024-01-29T01:37:23+00:00

The only advice people need, both men and women, is to maximize your potential physical attractiveness and improve your charisma. Those are the only factors you need to focus on if you want to get more dates. There are a ton of resources on becoming more a physically attractive person and also a bunch on becoming more charismatic.

To be more physically attractive, one should structure their life to maintain a healthy weight, take care of their skin, have a good haircut/facial hair, fix your teeth, dress in clothing that's fitted for your body. There are other things you can do too, but these are the main ones.

To improve charisma, spend more time socializing with people, learn a few body language/facial expression tips and incorporate them into your behavior, recognize how your emotions affect your social behavior, etc. Again, there are a ton of places to learn this type of stuff.

MikeArrow · 2024-01-28T18:49:42+00:00

The only dating advice that matters is "lose weight / gain muscle".

Anything else is a waste of time.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2024-01-29T04:26:03+00:00

Be fit and muscular the rest follows after

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-01-28T19:48:29+00:00

Honestly avoid online and dating advice in general.

I'm saying this as a woman a single woman none the less. Because dating advice is tailored to that outrage part of you it's inflammatory and contradictory in nature. For men it's the red pill/manosphere pipeline. For women it's the if he wanted to he would, sprinkle sprinkle, and other things. It's a grift it's advice that makes dating coaches money but really doesn't help anyone. None of this shit is helpful. None of it and I think it's a big cause of despair in the dating scene. Because we want to not get screwed over in something that could potentially screw us over.

"The guy I am dating didn't give me flowers" if he wanted to he would. He's just not that into me.

For men it's "if she does any of these vague things she's a 304! You're going to get hurt".

I think the best advice is first therapist. Because a lot of dating issues are caused by ourselves. We all have some kind of wounds that make dating and relating to others hard. So understanding yourself and how you interact with others and your own objective experiences is helpful. And learning how to navigate relationships and dating with your own unique set of wounds and experiences may help you find people in better alignment. And understanding dating is not a catch all thing.

Second friends who are in successful relationships or even just single friends. And people who are can give you tips though usually it's just platitudes. But sometimes some advice may stick out so talking to your married or partnered friends may give some insight. Single friends because they are in the same rut as you so it helps to have someone to listen and figure it out with.

Third is no advice and trying to figure it out for yourself. Assuming you did step 1. And kind of developed a sense of self and how you navigate relationships. Following dating advice that's just generic catch all things. You aren't a generic one size fits all mold. You are a person with unique struggles and experiences. It would be like wearing a medical device not fitted to your body it wouldn't work properly. So some of the best advice is from yourself. Hey what if I try this new thing? Maybe if I change my wardrobe and try this. Maybe I need to do this.

wtknight · 2024-01-28T19:14:06+00:00

Men should be asking other men who are successful at attracting women. If those men happen to be Red Pilled, then so be it, but I'm guessing that many of them are not Red Pilled.

63daddy · 2024-01-28T18:57:06+00:00

I think there are many good books and podcasts that explain the psychology and sociology of what creates attraction and how people can improve in this regard.

I think this is very much what TRP was focused on a couple decades ago., before ideas about what relationships should or shouldn’t be become a more prevalent part of their paradigm.

KarenEiffel · 2024-01-28T19:20:24+00:00

Men or women who are in relationships that the advice seeker wants to emulate. Basically, ask people who have what you want to see how they got it, how they kept it, etc.

theReaders · 2024-01-28T20:37:57+00:00

Dating advice is just people advice, there's nothing you shouldn't do for a partner you wouldn't do for a friend. Seek out the positive friendships in your life and work on emulating the work that goes into them. Openness, vulnerability, trust, confrontation, growth, these are all things that are required in romantic relationships. I don't have any recommendations on who you should watch because you shouldn't be watching videos to learn those skills. You have to do the work yourself, and that means putting yourself out there.

There's no formula, there's not a secret keycode you can enter into every woman you're attracted to in order to gain access to them. Women are individuals and there's no better way to learn that, than going through the effort of interacting with women day in and day out, platonically and with romantic interest. Be respectful of boundaries, don't push women into relationships, but that's really the only way forward.

No_Constant7907 · 2024-01-28T23:58:44+00:00

But if your a guy who wants to improve his life and wants to be successful with women, where would you tell him to go?

Honestly, the black pill has 1 thing right. Looks are by far the most important component. Studies have shown this innumerable times. As a result, the best place you can go is to looksmaxxing+aesthetics zone. After that, you need to develop a moral framework and purpose. That pretty much encompasses everything to be honest.

I see alot of "just be yourself" and "it depends on the women as there is a no one size fits all approach"

Become visually attractive and competent. This will work for literally everyone.

But if you say RP advice is bad what should a man read INSTEAD? I think the truth matters in making rational decisions.

RP is way off when it comes to the idea of charisma and PUA tactics and money being the best way to find success with women.

Do you have any communities? Subreddits? Books? Websites? That have valuable information for men trying to become better men rather than the advice given in the red pill?

Watch Team3DAlpha on YouTube. His videos go WAY into depth on the science behind how to become masculine and therefore attractive to women. He uses a SSS score to make the determination on where you sit on that list.

Sexiness Security Status

It's cool if you don't like the red pill but if you don't have a alternative solution to the problem I feel something is missing.

It's a lot simpler than people think. If you just become an 8/10 looks wise you'll get constant attention from women without even trying.

toasterchild · 2024-01-28T20:08:04+00:00

I would really like to know what parts of the redpill the guys here find so helpful. Be more attractive? My 10 year old nephew knows that is a key factor, why is that special knowledge?

I honestly think almost everyone who ends up here would find improvement by working on their in person social skills and becoming more socially adventurous be it through books, self help sites, therapy.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-01-28T19:22:46+00:00

Everyone knows what will make you more physically attractive. Up to each man to decide how much to prioritize those efforts.

The real truth is that men should become the best version of themselves based on their own standards and beliefs. Act with women the way you do with anyone. Just be yourself, but unironically. Then look for women who want you. But accept their judgment and selectivity without bitterness, even if that means that the you the universe created turns out to not be what a lot of women want. Now, if being rejected a lot gives you a clue that maybe you could be better, but still by your own standards and beliefs, then go for it. But don't make being more attractive to women your aim. Ironically, now, this is actually the most attractive thing to women.

learn2earn89 · 2024-01-28T19:27:35+00:00

Guy friends who are happily married or guys who sleep around, whatever it is you are trying to achieve.

Safinated · 2024-01-28T19:20:39+00:00

People who actually know you, for starters

And sex and dating are different things. If you give bad inputs you’re going to get bad results

Honestly_RedditSucks · 2024-01-29T15:00:47+00:00

There is no alternative to RP because there is nothing else that is demonstrably valid.

I don’t know anything about RP really, but from what I have seen and read, it’s basically how I act (RP before RP was cool) and I have no problems dating women.

What I have a problem with is finding high quality women. But this is the same problem women have. They can find men, they just can’t find high quality men.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-01-28T22:39:24+00:00

But there is no "truth", it simply doesn't exist. Some universal manual really doesn't exist. It really depends on each individual person and vibe between two idividual people. I don't now, maybe read discussions of the type of women you like, mabye you can inspire form their experiences. But at the end it just doesn't exist, it's really individual, not just for each preson, but for combination of two individual people.

What is missing is the fact that universal advice just doesn't exist. If I will explain and analyze in detail what worked for me in the past it won't help you, because other woman is not me and you are not that person, you maybe wouldn't fit that type of behaviour...

Yes, be yourself. Even if some advice works but it's not YOU, it's not natural to you... How long can you wear that mask? Even if you can wear that mask 24/7 forever in marriage, can you be truly happy wearing a mask and not allowed to be yourself? Only if people are themselves and don't play something they can find their real match.

Maybe become better based on YOUR ideals and values? And that way increase a chance to attract your compatible match?

Maybe someone thinks that "better" means "perfect" body from the gym. But it doesn't work for me because I see a person that spends 4 days a week at gym and that lifestyle is very unappealing to me and I just see the lifestyle behind that and I know it's not my match...

So we don't say it as a way to dismiss you or something. It's the truth that it depends on each individual unique person.

Yes, try to be a better person, but there is no universal manual what is better. Work on yourself based on YOUR values and ideals to be better for a person that is actually compatible with you.

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SignifyingNothing5 · 2024-01-28T20:35:56+00:00

It depends on why he's looking for advice. There are no secrets though, no certain path to success, which is what TRP sells or strongly implies.

TRP isn't alone in selling certainty or near certainty, though. Softer pitches suggest that "when the time is right" or "when the right person comes along" then you'll find your match. That's descriptive but not all that predicitve, but when it's offered in reponse to a man asking "how to" it seems like, well, a "how to".

You already know the things that help you get noticed. If you say you don't you're either very young or in denial. I knew these things at 12.

Those things include having a fun, or at least engaging personality. I think women tend to see men who are on their radar because they're around those men a lot or because the man has approached them on a yes-maybe-no spectrum. Looks always matter and we all know that. Being fun and engaging can move you up a notch sometimes, but not always. And hint: going from no to maybe doesn't help much.

That's mostly descriptive or a way to view things and may not be everyone's experience. TRP claims to be descriptive and to suggest it's a way to view dating and women. I think it's pretty prescriptive, and maybe my take is too, but as a man who isn't all that attractive I've been happier looking at things the way I describe here. I'm way older than any "pill" but I was pretty defeatist as a young man, and I know for a fact I missed a yes or two and wasted lots of time on clear (no)s. And as a man I experienced women morphing from a maybe to a yes in my eyes, so I'm sure some women do the same.

Dr_Click_Click_Boom · 2024-01-28T21:18:02+00:00

The local barber shop. Tons of men there. Multi generational men with literal centuries of combined life experience.

You could also get involved in predominantly male activities. Intramural softball, rod and gun clubs, martial arts gyms etc. Lots of men with lots of experience there as well.

The absolute last thing any man would ever want to do is send [insert red pill "guru" here] $X,XXX.xx for a "consultation".

holyskillet · 2024-01-28T23:36:58+00:00

to successful men?

MailenJokerbell · 2024-01-29T14:27:50+00:00

Advise from people who are actually married/in healthy relationships.

Im pretty sure there has to be a subreddit for that.

WhatyouDontwantoHear · 2024-01-29T18:14:24+00:00

Not Reddit that's for fucking sure.

ladyindev · 2024-01-28T19:45:38+00:00

I have an answer, but you're probably not going to like it.

You should consult a therapist first and foremost. Find the right therapist, ofc. You may not jive with everyone. So many people out here need to work on themselves to improve their social outcomes in general and dig deeper into some real questions and self-awareness points that will make you a better partner in whatever relationships you end up in - and they will also help you choose healthier partner options. So I say therapists and maybe online psychology content - like therapists with youtube and instagram pages. Granted, I did look at some of the dating advice for women, but to be honest, I mostly just applied things related to my own education in basic psychology and relationships. If I did look to people online, it would be non-sexist psychologists talking or relationship counselors who did that as a profession offline.

I also found that being happy as a single person depended on this growth and self-awareness / self love. I've avoided a lot of further emotional trauma by knowing myself and being firmly grounded in my own process of becoming better to/for myself and that has made me a better friend and loved one - and now a much better girlfriend for my partner than I would have been before.

Stop worshipping women in a negative way. Being a fan of women in a feminist, positive way is great. Making women your point for existing is not great. Idk, I spent most of my life single for a few reasons by choice, but it actually helped me in some ways. Not saying you have to do it like I did, but step back and make sure you're taking care of you.

Are you happy? Do you enjoy your life? What can you do to enjoy it even more or start enjoying it? Do you have goals and hobbies - are there communities you can join around those? Do you know what your unhealed childhood traumas are and how they show up in your thoughts/behaviors? Do you have people pleasing behaviors that come up in how you interact? How are your intrusive thoughts and connection to your feelings? How's your empathy? Do you have a bucket list and plans for the future? How are you with trusting your feelings and self-regulating your emotions?

That learning never really ends and I wouldn't say I mastered all this, but it's a good place to simmer if you haven't already. Life is this amazing gift we have and it's so rich and full - don't spend it obsessing over women, if dating is really hard for you. That would be my advice. Yes, talk to a therapist first and then maybe a dating coach about it, but also just fucking live your life.

I'd also encourage you to actually become a fan of actual social science. Even just on a basic level, so many studies refute some major points I've heard touted in the manosphere that will just statistically lead you to a high likelihood of divorce and bad outcomes if you're American or probably in the West in general. Large age gaps, marrying too young, dating uneducated women as a rule, etc. It's interesting to hear their arguments (I hate watch some of the popular manosphere podcasts) and not only are they grossly misogynistic but their advice is incredibly irrational a lot of the time.

The people profiting from these podcasts know it too though on some level, that's the sad part. Hosts admitting they're anti-marriage and that "high value men" shouldn't get married - meanwhile scolding these often clueless young girls on their podcasts for not being wifey material. It's crazy.

I do agree that maybe there aren't many great resources for men on dating and sex that are healthy.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-01-28T18:44:05+00:00

He should date non-exclusively and pay close attention to what works, what doesn’t, and find the trends.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-01-28T20:53:05+00:00

A Buddhist monastery. Men should volunteer to stay a few months or years as a novice monk at a monastery without taking the vows for life. Men need to learn to stop prioritizing sex over everything else in life and learning self discipline and mindfulness in a male only environment would help.

lolthankstinder · 2024-01-28T18:52:50+00:00

I'm a big fan of Logan Ury. She's a behavioral psychologist that worked with Dan Ariely at Irrational Labs so she got a solid foundation in the behavioral economics, psychology and actual science of dating and finding love. At some point along the way she got into dating coaching and became the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge. She wrote a book that's a little bit sensationally named, How to Not Die Alone, but it has a a lot of great advice. I trust and respect her research-backed advice more because she's not afraid to tell women to have more realistic expectations for things like men's height which is sadly a bit of a hot take nowadays.

Diamond-Breath · 2024-01-28T23:45:23+00:00

There's a channel on Youtube made by a Christian black man that I think is great for men and women alike, it's called "The Shumake Way". He's a married man with actual relationship advice.

I'm not really a Christian in the whole sense of the word because I mostly follow a Buddhist Goddess but I can acknowledge wisdom when I see it.

BatemaninAccounting · 2024-01-28T21:11:22+00:00

They should go to mainstream psychologists, sociologists, sex therapists(for those with sexual hangups like obsessing about N counts and screaming about hypergamy "Every woman will cheat!"), to people in already happy relationships, to people that are currently dating and can help someone navigate how the dating pool dynamics change from decade to decade.

Listen to successful blue pill and purple pill folks. Or hell, listen to successful red pill people. Most of the world are conservatives that are happy in their relationships, as dysfunctional and morally bankrupt as I may think they are, they're still delusionally happy.

cromulent_weasel · 2024-01-28T22:45:52+00:00

But if your a guy who wants to improve his life and wants to be successful with women, where would you tell him to go?

The first place to go is internally. Introspection. He has to know himself enough to know what he wants in a partner, and then ask himself what would that putative partner be looking for in a man? Then he needs to grow himself into being that man.

With regards to dating apps, I guess the various subreddits for them are there are they are good up to a point, but for me, understanding what the sort of woman that I wanted to date would engage with in my profile definitely was basically the only reason why I got anywhere.

valuable information for men trying to become better men

Personal development stuff I have been reading up on includes

The Will to Change by Bell Hooks
The power of vulnerability by Brene Brown
Youtube channel by Andrew Huberman on how to properly manage your dopamine (basically minimise social media and late night lights, make sure that you are getting rewarding rewards for worthwhile things that take actual effort)

All of those give you good tools to help you grow yourself positively and be someone more likeable than redpill stuff our just hate-content from social media.

Valuable_Jello_2986 · 2024-01-28T23:16:24+00:00

It’s not that complicated ffs. It’s the basics.

Learn to talk to women and options go from “how do I secure a girlfriend with a perfect set up” to feeling natural around women and interacting with many constantly will lead to many opportunities

Be balanced.

A good physique helps but it can’t be the only thing you do

A good job helps - but be social and fit too

Being well read helps but don’t be a boring nerd

Being organised in your personal life helps but don’t be uptight and rigid

Being social helps but don’t be a loser who only parties.

You know the pillars. Women find charisma, career success, hot bodies, stability, intelligence, and physical prowess attractive.

There are a multitude of ways to improve these. Just try to spend a balanced amount of time

prophet_nlelith · 2024-01-29T00:23:58+00:00

Women, friends, talk to them like they're people instead of just something you wanna put your dick into. It helps if you quit watching pornography as it distorts your understanding of relationships.

AngryAdviceGiver · 2024-01-29T01:55:27+00:00

Be yourself.

Unless that isnt working. Then you have to be a better self.

Its nothing new. You learned this in school. All the kids were wearing their favorite sports player or team so you did it too even though you didnt know shit about sports. Or they were all into pokemon and maybe you didnt care much about it but leanred about it just so you could talk about it with people.

And maybe you didnt learn this skill, but you have to learn it now.

I knew enough about dance and art and theatre to get by with the women i was interested in. Common ground right there. Expand your knowledge base. Find something you might want to learn more about. Your understanding of the world is tiny. Find opportunities to be in proximity to those you are interested in so the liklihood is higher you can make a connection.

Honestly, lots of red pill stuff isnt awful as dating advice. Use it to learn how to put your best foot forward and read the signs and signals. But stop short of the massive bs where it paints all women with the same brush, gets insanely manipulative, relies too much on its assumptions, etc. Because every is dividual is different, and it gets a ton of things wrong. There is SO MUCH destructive stuff in the red pill world, people say to stay away from it entirely. But about 20% of it is really useful if you are responsible enough. Just dont get swept away.

BirdLawOnly · 2024-01-29T02:46:51+00:00

How about interacting with other human beings as if both of you are human beings? How hard is "Hey, how are you?"

MistyMaisel · 2024-01-29T04:05:17+00:00

Honestly, I'd start by talking to people who actually know you. Even better if you can get them to be honest no matter if it would hurt your feelings.

A lot of this really depends how old you are too, like if you're 14, probably calming down and just trying to talk to some girls, maybe ask a few out, maybe Google embarrassing things like most of us have like, "how do I know if a girl likes me? How do I hold a girl's hand? How do I talk to a girl I like? How do i know if I can kiss her? What is flirting" You know, really cringe shit that still most of us have probably asked Google a few times. And then just read reddit and quora until you're thoroughly convinced she both hates and loves you. And you kind of theoretically understand hand holding.

But if you're like early to mid 20s, again, talk to friends, probably find someone with a personal style you'd like to emulate that's attractive and do that, talk to other dudes, talk to your parents, talk to your siblings, start trying to flirt, flirt with everyone pretty much all the time, but in really light mostly fun and teasing winking and grinning ways.

I'm purely addressing the romantic aspect. I think there's lots of good male role models out there who you can follow into figuring out what kind of man you wanna be. I'd do your best to ignore bad male role models that may have been in your life whether that was an absent father or the endless string of boyfriends or just a very uninvolved dad.

I think Charisma On Command and Healthy Gamer have wonderful resources to help without really needing to have gender politics behind the wheel.

And then at the end of all of this you're going to realize that just being the best version of yourself and there's no one size fits all approach is true and you'll be back on Google trying to compare your star signs to see if it is meant to be.

Cat_Lover259 · 2024-01-29T13:49:16+00:00

I mean you don’t really need to be successful with women. There’s more to life than dating and sex, guys.

operation-spot · 2024-01-29T18:53:49+00:00

I think dating advice is the same as life advice as in self improvement is vital, you just take risks, accept no as an answer, and you will sometimes have to try harder than others. It’s not rocket science but it is difficult and autistic men will struggle the most.

SeveralAcorns · 2024-01-28T19:32:18+00:00

But if you say RP advice is bad what should a man read INSTEAD?

Spend time with friends who are able to get dates and healthy relationships. Learn from them.

Mundane_Gate_7391 · 2024-01-28T19:34:33+00:00

I wouldn't go to one place for dating advice. I would look at areas where I needed to improve specifically and find something that can address those.

The problem with TRP is it has has agenda. I know they say they're objective but c'mon..they're obviously not.

For example I would use r/vindicta for beauty advice and various places for self improvement. If I struggled with interactions I would hone my social skills somehow.

SlashCo80 · 2024-01-28T20:01:04+00:00

On Youtube, you can check out Sarah Dawn Moore, Courtney Ryan or Marni the Wing Girl. Ignore the incels and edgebros in their comments, as they actually give pretty good level-headed advice on how to date. Stay away from macho manosphere crap if you actually hope to attract a woman someday.

Otherwise, try looking at the women you know whom you'd consider high quality according to whatever standards you have. If they have boyfriends or husbands, what are they like? How do they look, dress, behave? Do they have their life together? Use that as a starting point.

Azihayya · 2024-01-28T20:13:31+00:00

I don't know about reading, but here are a few videos where I think where men respond to relationship stories or give healthy advice:

Smosh's Shayne Topp hosts Reddit stories, where relationships are discussed: https://youtu.be/qzY6gh8_XUY?si=7ynh8dyHvrvOx4fh

Stavros Halkias and Mateo Lane respond to caller's messages, offering life and relationship advice: https://youtu.be/XDmRdisUMpA?si=yFbiBcZPcdDIRyYG?t=1h2m50s

Stavros Halkias on First Date with Lauren Compton: https://youtu.be/JZTv-NmO_Qg?si=mu91TSwEtBy7pWBD

Darkmatter2525 on the pitfalls of the red pill and how to form healthy relationships: https://youtu.be/9ewTLFKRPmQ?si=pgE9gf22qKOOuein

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-01-28T20:50:30+00:00

It's sad but I don't think there is one good place to go for advice.

If a friend asks me for advice I suggest books that I got from RP sidebars. I don't recommend RP sites directly or Manosphere blogs because I don't want them to go down that rabbit hole. I also talk about other concepts that are useful from RP without referencing it directly. I just cite my own experience.

This comment sums up some some advice and a reading list which I mostly got from Red Pill, but some from other sources https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12vce97/do_trp_men_even_have_interests_outside_of_getting/jhc3tco/

It's cool if you don't like the red pill but if you don't have a alternative solution to the problem I feel something is missing.

I could not agree more. I badly want there to be a true "Purple" community where advice for men on romance and dating starts from everyone being human and equal, having good attributes and flaws, instead of having Red Pill or Blue Pill where either men or women are selected as the virtuous people of the narrative and the other painted as toxic.

Ok-Assistant-1220 · 2024-01-29T00:14:27+00:00

To a woman obviously, because they know what seduces a woman and are transparent. s/

his_purple_majesty · 2024-01-29T00:15:02+00:00

Ask a friend who is honest or just someone who is reasonably smart and not full of shit. Most of the advice on this sub is good, from blue/red pill alike.

And you probably know what you need to do anyway. You need to look better, be more fun, and talk to more women.

Scarce12 · 2024-01-29T01:49:48+00:00

I'm not against the red pill but John Gottman / Gottman Institute is the best answer.

Except their book "What women want" is slightly red pill.

ClassroomSlight3215 · 2024-01-29T02:15:59+00:00

From passport bros and such and the South Africa and as such

KentuckyCriedFlickin · 2024-01-29T06:19:03+00:00

Go on Omegle.

Comfortable-Wish-192 · 2024-01-29T06:51:33+00:00

Your point is well taken. I don’t understand why moderates and left leaning men don’t get honest with men about how to improve their dating lot.

Maybe because the answers are very simple? Make the most of your looks, work out and get fit, get the best education that you possibly can so that you can afford to support a family making yourself desirable to women. Most learn how to talk to and relate to people in general, women included.

Don’t hide in your house playing video games engage socially as well. Volunteer, if your spiritual join a church.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-01-29T09:07:18+00:00

No more mr nice guy by Donald Glover is a nice start

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-01-29T10:15:04+00:00

First realize there are no cheat codes to dating. It simply doesn’t exist and anyone who is peddling “secrets” and “formulas” is a grifter. Generally speaking, dating success depends two things - improving social skills and looks. Things TRP community does talk about, but ruins by mixing with a bunch of toxic crap since the good part is basic and not marketable on its own. You can find lots of videos and articles on working out, caring for your skin/hair/teeth, and choosing flattering clothing. You can also find lots of videos on improving your social skills and charisma, but 90% of that has to come from practice. Putting yourself in situations that are uncomfortable, making mistakes, and learning from it. So watch out for grifters in this area too.

And then you need to stop seeking advice, get OFF the internet, and actually do this stuff. Most men (and women) are already aware that dating depends on looks and social skills imo, it’s making changes in those areas that is hard and why they’re always seeking more advice and short cuts when action is what is needed.

When it comes to more situation-specific dating advice, the best advice is going to come from people who actually know you, have had success themselves, and care about you but can also be honest with you. Of course not everyone has this, but that’s one of the reasons why it’s important to form as many connections in your life as possible. The other huge benefits are expanding your social circle which will allow you to meet more potential dates and sharpening your social skills.

Apprehensive_Fly_795 · 2024-01-29T10:28:08+00:00

How does getting into the red pill improve men dating life though? What do you mean by improve anyways, cause the red pill seem very anti relationships, so do you just mean getting one night stands? Cause I doubt it works for that either. Like Rollo tomassi just set off my creep meter so I'm confused to how men like that are actually helping men with dating? Like rollo also married but he tell men to stay away from it, which is confusing advice cause he didn't do that, like all the thing he talks about are opposite to his experience, how does noone find it fishy a man making money off making men horrible dicks to date isn't following his own advice?

Exotic_Pop_765 · 2024-01-29T12:02:15+00:00

search for old rsd videos, subscribe to hoe_math youtube channel, read the way of the superior man by David Deida ( https://ia902200.us.archive.org/19/items/pdfy-TIGwEuUmNnQVm7x7/The%20Way%20Of%20The%20Superior%20Man.pdf ) and check some the last video of owen cook and the channels of ToddVdating and the JeffyShow. both former RSD coaches ...

its sad that despite non toxic advice works better than the things you now find online, theres no one anymore left to defend these positions, instead we turned into the monsters we swear we werent just to spite the opposite front which is also responsible for the lack of access you now have on real material...

McTitty3000 · 2024-01-29T15:02:21+00:00

I wouldn't say I find myself against the red pill, just certain aspects of it but to answer your question Find the guy(s) who have the sex life / relationship that you want it can be someone you know personally or a celebrity,study them, look at what you lack in comparison, max out what you can and boom. Also go to your friends who know you best and are not afraid to give hard truths and tough love

NotReallyTired_ · 2024-01-29T15:25:07+00:00

Having a mixed-gender group of friends who goes outside and have some success. The best advice is observation and experience, people tend to rub off from successful individuals like the saying “your friends are your reflection.” There shouldn’t be a place or figure you go to for dating advice because when it comes to dating, personal experience is extremely important. You can read and highlight notes from Dale Carnage or Robert Greene all you want but if you don’t put it into practice it doesn’t mean anything.

The best advice I got is to never overthink when you’re talking and flirting.

Nevamst · 2024-01-29T16:58:27+00:00

Look at historical posts in /r/theredpill. It used to be great before posers like Tate co-opted it with their bullshit, and before Reddit decided to quarantine the place for bullshit reasons. I don't know if there are any good old-school redpill communities out there left, I haven't been active in years.

Siliconmage76 · 2024-01-29T17:14:36+00:00

Read the Art of Seduction and 48 Laws of Power and leave all the ideologically tuned evo psych stuff in the trash.

Mentathiel · 2024-01-29T23:25:15+00:00

HealthyGamerGG has advice I think is excellent. On YT/twitch.

There's a subreddit too, but it's becoming a tinybit redpillified as of late when it comes to dating threads (Friday only). I suppose I'm not helping by posting this here lol.

In general, verified mental health professionals on YouTube can be a good resource if they talk about dating.

Also, your friends! Ask them about their lives, if they're successful with women try to figure out what do they do, if they're women, try to see how they see certain situations, what their experiences are, what they prioritize. I've learned so much by talking to my male friends about male experience and understanding these things can make them feel seen and safe much more. Maybe someone can even be a wing(wo)man.

Irl therapy can also be a good place to pick things up.

Old people can be a good source of some timeless wisdom, but usually not of the nitty-gritty practical advice, as dating has changed so much. They didn't have to learn to text or social media etiquette, boundaries and norms were quite different, consent was communicated differently. So unless they're a mental health professional who learns about this stuff scientifically and then absorbs young people culture from listening to young patients all day, I'd not trust them too much.

WANT_SOME_HAM · 2024-01-30T04:47:28+00:00

Women.

I know this might sound crazy, but if you want to know what women like, maybe you should, I dunno, talk to one?

And not go to sexually frustrated men who constantly say they understand women so well, they're totally qualified to speak on their behalf? Even though women fucking hate that?

Title	Those against the Red Pill, where should a man go for dating advice?
Author	xsxBEACHGODxsx
Upvotes	37
Comments	214
Date	January 28, 2024 6:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ad9csy/those_against_the_red_pill_where_should_a_man_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/those-against-the-red-pill-where-should-a-man-go.1244038 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244038

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