Who are the type of young women who date older men? Most women I knew when I was early 20s were chasing hot college boys.

purplish_possum · 2024-02-03T19:34:12+00:00

women who were NOT in college from 18-25. One of them stated that she started dating older men pretty soon after high school.

If a woman isn't investing in her own future by going to college she needs an alternative strategy. Getting horny old guys to pay for your lifestyle (such as it is) is an age old option.

Creation_Soul · 2024-02-03T19:29:29+00:00

i don't think there is really a really defined type because such relationships are not that common for a type to really form. Do i know some age-gap relationships? sure, but compared to relationships where the partners are of similar ages, they are very rare. I think the phrase "age gap relationships are more rare than men would want to happen, but happen more than women like to admit" described the situation quite well.

Due to this fact, your average 35 year old man is somewhat unlikely to consistently meet such women.

purplish_possum · 2024-02-03T19:30:54+00:00

I never heard of a woman actually sleeping with a professor.

That's a role for grad students.

AngeCruelle · 2024-02-03T19:29:03+00:00

I've read that autistic women tend to be more receptive to dating older men and that fits the handful of cases I know of irl.

SnooMarzipans6929 · 2024-02-03T19:49:42+00:00

Me!! I dated a college boy my first 1.5 years of college and hated it (he was my first boyfriend ever). After that I chose a man who had graduated and was working a corporate job already (the field I was set to go into once I graduated anyway). I dated him the rest of college and some post grad. 10/10 best decision ever. It was a fantastic relationship until it wasn't.

The only reason I had to leave him (which still hurts me terribly to this day admittedly) was that he developed serious substance abuse problems he did not want to fix. He was a very nice person when sober. Had total husband potential but was gripped by a terrible "demon" I suppose. He was very scary when not sober... Which became more and more frequent.

I broke up with him 2 years into my career and am now dating a wonderful man who is 7 years older than me (he's 35 and I'm 28). We both work corporate jobs and communicate very well with each other. I have similar hopes for our relationship in the future as well.

Honestly... Dating older was always great for me and I do not regret spending most of my college years dating someone out of college either. 10/10 highly recommend.

thedeadpill · 2024-02-04T07:44:15+00:00

I'm a broke middle-aged guy who regularly dates 10+ years younger. I actually really struggle to pull dates from people my age, but younger women will date me without much reservation for the age gap. My current partner is 9 years younger than me.

There's no "type". They're not a monolith. A lot of them are not explicitly seeking older guys. They're just (IMO) open-minded people who see a guy and are interested, and then discover that they're born in different decades after the first date. Sometimes they're financially running circles around me, and sometimes they're as broke as I am (more often than not it's the latter; they've had less time to develop their careers, I suppose).

It's not universal. Lots of people date their own age.

The meme of women dating older, I think, comes from the contrast of men never dating older. Men (stereotypically) want hot young things, and that's readily apparent when interest is expressed. A man won't usually mistake a 40-something for a 30- or 20-something, but I (in my 40s) have been mistaken for 30-something and rarely late 20s. Once again: I cannot get a date with a 40-something to save my life, but some 30-somethings will throw themselves at me, and there's no reason to waste effort on an older woman when someone more willing/interested is available.

I think there's a seeking-younger fetishism on the part of some men, as well.

Can an ordinary man over 35 actually pull young women though, for either casual sex or a relationship? And if so, who are these women? What are their prospects?

It depends on what you mean by "young". The biggest age gap I ever had was when I was 36, the youngest I went was 23 years old. I met her on reddit (of all places), no pics, on the strength of my writing and interests, and she said in her first message that she might be too young for me (after 3 dates, I determined she was; I really struggled to relate to her, and felt like trying to develop the relationship further would have been harmful to her).

But, 10 years younger? It could be anybody. Sometimes, you just find each other hot. Sometimes the experience or tone an older person has might be attractive. I honestly don't know what the pulse is; I'm often bewildered when someone a lot younger tells me they are interested. I met my current partner in some a singles meetup in my city, and we clicked and dated. I'm very up front about my failings (of which there are many), but she remains interested.

AreOut · 2024-02-03T19:46:58+00:00

Is this the type of girl that the older men in their 40s and up are targeting?? She states she mostly did it for nice gifts and occasional financial help.

Men who can actually target are quite rare because to target you have to be able to choose and most men are not.

It's just that some young girls are using some men for money and the older men are the more money they have.

Can an ordinary man over 35 actually pull young women though, for either casual sex or a relationship? And if so, who are these women? What are their prospects?

"ordinary" as an average? He can not, but he could not even when he was 25 so it doesn't make a difference for him. But some of those men actually improved vastly from 25 to 35 and now they aren't ordinary any more so they can get girls they couldn't ten years before...(I'm an example)

Of course it doesn't have to work even if you improved(or it doesn't have to work as one thought it would), because some men have such a bad genetics (short, assymetric face etc.) that they can get only literal golddiggers.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-02-03T20:03:20+00:00

It's always taken an exceptional man to be 35 and consistently dating 25 year olds, particularly if he's dating women who are truly desirous of him. The current politics make this even harder.

Few women chased older men, fewer still based mostly on true desire. And nowadays, with the aforementioned politics involved, even fewer. Still, if a guy is hot and high status enough with charm, he can do it. But it isn't close to normal.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-02-03T20:40:46+00:00

My wife is 9 years younger than me. She was 24 when we first met.

My dad is 10 years older than my mom.

My brother ONLY goes for women about 10 years younger than him, he is pretty successful.

We are hard working, middle class, educated, fit men. I'm the most successful financially but that doesn't seem to have a big influence.

Type of women? Any women. Nerds, gold diggers, good women, bad women, you name it.

Granted, we're not in the US.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-02-03T22:27:33+00:00

contrary to popular red pill talking points (and those of some older women), it's not easy for guys in their 30s to date women a decade younger than them. in my experience a lot of women are put off by the age gap and for the guys who don't have experience with women and never had girls look their way when they were younger, it's mostly a pipe dream (unless you have a MAJOR glow up or go for quasi sugar daddy type relationships). the average joe is going to struggle dating attractive young women and i think those are the guys who often demonize these relationships tbh.

i'm 33, my ex was about a decade younger than me and i briefly dated a couple other women around her age recently. some were outright gold diggers or had daddy issues but outside of that i think that it's women who take dating a bit more seriously and don't want to deal with the immature guys their own age. my ex told me that her male peers were either video game addicts, feminine, socially awkward or the fuckboy type for example. i'm sure it differs quite a bit from country to country as well. in most of SEA age gaps are pretty normalized.

KingLancelot1991 · 2024-02-03T22:54:27+00:00

I knew a guy who worked as a cashier at a convenience store with a 23 year old gf…

He was like 50s or early 60s

He wasn’t attractive either.

It does happen, but of course those women are complete messes.

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2024-02-03T20:01:04+00:00

I'm a dude, but from my observations after graduating high school and in college, the girls who dated much older men were usually scooped up quickly by those men These girls were generally smart academically, didn't date much in high school as they were more mentally mature, and were attracted to men who already had their career and life settled. They essentially wanted someone who could quickly provide them the lifestyle they wanted instead and were attracted to that.

HardTimes4Vampires · 2024-02-03T19:25:08+00:00

“healthy” “age appropriate” jesus it’s like listening to a 1950s sex hygiene video warning us of homosexuals. You accept people who used to be men, chopped their dick off, and became women who are in relationship with a female-to-male transperson and it’s “love don’t judge”, but age gaps are this taboo you cannot fathom happening without “trauma” related issues. lmao.

neinhaltchad · 2024-02-04T00:58:02+00:00

Hey look! It’s the daily “Let me release my inner Karen / Bigot” age gap thread.

Once again:

Bear and Twink: Love is love! 👨🏻‍❤️‍👨🏼🏳️‍🌈

Butch and Lipstick: Love is love! 👩🏻‍❤️‍👩🏼🏳️‍🌈

Trans anything + Trans anything: Love is love! 🧑🏻‍❤️‍🧑🏻 🏳️‍🌈

Western Woman and foreign man: Love is love! 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏽👸🏼

Western woman and minority man: Love is love! 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏿👸🏼

Older woman and younger man: Go girl! You still got it! Get your groove back! 👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏼👸🏻

Meanwhile:

Older man and younger woman: "OMG! That doesn’t happen, and if it does she’s goldigging and if she isn’t, it’s because her brain isn’t even developed yet! What could could you even have in common? 24 years old is literally a child. You should be shunned by society you creepy groomer pedo!” 😡

Also throw in some some white western savior variation for a man dating a younger Asian woman.

wtknight · 2024-02-03T21:19:07+00:00

Women who need money are the ones whom are usually pursuing older men, since this is the main advantage of older men over younger men.

DarayRaven · 2024-02-03T19:25:19+00:00

Can an ordinary man over 35 actually pull young women though, for either casual sex or a relationship? And if so, who are these women? What are their prospects?

I mean just make a Q4M if you wanna kno

I'm sure there's a bunch of older guys slaying it with young chicks

Capybara_88 · 2024-02-03T20:18:16+00:00

I am 39. I've dated down 12 years. Beyond that I have not gotten much attention other then an occasional girl that wants an older guy to hook up with. I'm not too interested in early 20s though since there are too many differences. A lot of red pill content is made to make men feel angry and sell them a bunch of fake lies to make them feel better. That 45 year old balding guy isn't going to "spin plates" with a roster of 5 21 year olds.

TeddyKisss · 2024-02-03T21:42:15+00:00

44 year old man here. Maybe 20% to 25% of the women that swipe right on me on Bumble are under 30. Either they have Daddy issues or they’re attracted to successful men. The ones with the Daddy issues are obvious — I regularly get likes from 19 and 20 year olds and it’s super weird sometimes. I think the other ones are just attracted to men that possess traits that successful men have. It’s tricky though because I’m also extremely fit and take really good care of myself so maybe I attract a different demographic than your typical balding 44 year old guy with a Dad bod. I think the older men that attract younger women really take care of themselves. When I was younger, I was extremely attracted to older, fit, successful women and ended up dating a woman 18 years older than me. Now it’s the exact opposite.The stereotype that older men “target” younger women is not always accurate. I’m attracted to women of all ages but I sometimes receive a very strong reception/invitation from younger women. I absolutely never ever chase a younger woman down unless I receive undeniably positive indications of interest. There are also gold diggers but those are really easy to spot too.

lostacoshermanos · 2024-02-03T19:37:21+00:00

Ones raised by single moms

harmonica2 · 2024-02-03T19:29:54+00:00

I am my late 30s and I have a girlfriend in her early 20s. I don't think there is nothing special about me and I'm just more of an average guy I think. We are both autistic so I think we bonded better chemistry-wise because of that, and have that niche.

purplish_possum · 2024-02-03T19:40:13+00:00

Can an ordinary man over 35 actually pull young women though, for either casual sex or a relationship?

Sure, but they won't be quite right. I dated a 27-year-old woman who had just finished her masters degree when I was 42. She was pretty enough but delusional about a lot of things. We had sex on the second date. Of course she claimed "I never do this". We dated for about four months.

Wobbles8steve · 2024-02-03T21:31:42+00:00

I was once a young woman who dated older men. I start off dating guys my age but they all either failed to want to mature as fast as i needed or were unfaithful. I saw older men as more viable because they knew what they wanted and were stable. Also felt they were better in bed but that's just an opinion and this is from a very limited pool so maybe not a rule just something i experienced.

So for me, younger men meant more fun and often more attractive but ultimately unstable and couldn't often properly contribute steadily (50/50) to living expenses. Older men were stable, more than willing to share expenses, sex was better and honestly, men with real life experience were less ignorant to what a woman wants/needs.

My experience is not everyones experience. I didn't date a ton, and i graduated highschool with a class smaller than 60 people so my insight to what men my age were like was very limited. Without college, my choices were limited to my job. (Which was primarily college students as it was on campus) and the guys there weren't for me. I dated 2, one younger and one older. The older guy was a much better, caring partner than the younger.

It's been at least a decade since then and I'm married to a man 9 years older than me.

harmonica2 · 2024-02-03T23:45:19+00:00

When it comes to my own age gap relationship as well as other couples I know where the guys are older, one thing I noticed about guys in their early twenties these days is a lot of them are not as masculine looking as older generations and older guys are more masculine looking. Could this be why they have an edge over younger guys as well? For example, at least where I live, quite a lot of young guys are going for the 'hippy Jesus' look I guess you could call it where it's long hair and a beard and perhaps women do not find this as attractive as a guy with short hair?

MikeArrow · 2024-02-03T19:30:54+00:00

I read about it on reddit all the time. These are paraphrased, but I've read variations on these comments plenty of times:

I grew up in an unstable home, so I didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like
I was raised to be a people pleaser, so I had no boundaries
The boys my age were all immature, so when an older experienced guy came along he seemed like a better option

etc etc

favabeansandwine · 2024-02-03T20:10:09+00:00

I have a few theories here.

Young women with daddy issues. They didn't have a relationship with daddy, or one that was "not good".
Following #2, the possibility of incestual abuse.
Sometimes women are very mature for their age, old souls, and relate to older men better.
Sometimes women are saphiophiles and find an older man's intelligence and experience highly attractive.
Sometimes women just find a certain man attractive despite him being older.

Sometimes it's somewhat healthy, and other times it's certainly not. But, so long as it's consensual and no ACTUAL coercion is taking place, then really - it's nobody's business.

operajunkie · 2024-02-03T22:07:29+00:00

I’ve also wondered this. I keep hearing the RP men bragging about getting women in the 18-25 age range but don’t see any girls clamoring for men 30-35 +. The one girl I knew with an “older” bf when she was in college was like 26, when she was 21 and we all thought she was brave for that lol. Age gaps are a bigger deal the younger you are. I got aggressively hit on by a 37 yo at 19 and was totally disgusted because our age gap was my entire lifespan. It seems like that was the reaction of most of my peers as well. We all wanted to date hot college guys (many of whom had daddy’s credit card to pay for dates).

Sugar baby/daddy arrangements to me are separate and I don’t consider them “relationships” in the traditional sense.

burner4567890 · 2024-02-03T19:27:44+00:00

women with daddy issues. i used to be attracted to older men, i went to therapy and also my dad became very present in my life now… and just like magic, older men are revolting to me now. most women who are mentally healthy don’t jump into relationships with older men 🤷‍♀️

RevolutionaryFig929 · 2024-02-03T19:54:25+00:00

It's mostly young women that don't want to struggle and want the nice things of life "now", ofc they tend to be on the more attractive side.

Ofc if you go to university, maybe have to do a job on the side etc., you will just not meet this kind of men, at most some guys in a nightclub might be 5 years older or so..., then again as a student we couldn't even afford to go that much to nightclubs, cause we didn't have the money, so again you end up at parties and events where you meet mostly other students....

With internet theses days this might become different, as you can find people via dating apps much easier.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-02-03T20:23:13+00:00

An ordinary man? Highly unlikely, given that the primary reason young women are usually attracted to older men is due to their ability to provide

MidoriEgg · 2024-02-03T21:07:57+00:00

Girls who aren’t into the club scene as much might want an older man because uni aged guys are all about that.

volleyballbeach · 2024-02-03T21:43:58+00:00

“Normal” ones, weird ones, smart ones, dumb ones, thin ones, fat ones, mommy issues, daddy issues, no issues, ones you’d never guess would be into it. The college women who were fucking men in their 30s and 40s probably weren’t advertising that fact due to fear of being judged.

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2024-02-03T22:12:54+00:00

My cousin was really into dating guys twice her age when she was like 19. She never went to college, is severely bi polar, and was molested by older men from her church a lot when she was a child.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-02-04T01:18:09+00:00

I knew one girl in college who was really only interested in dating men 5+ years older and that was because her biggest dream in life was to be a mom and housewife. Most of the guys who were established in their career, interested in settling down, and at her socioeconomic level were older.

jay10033 · 2024-02-04T01:21:52+00:00

Probably the ones who weren't on campus hanging out with you because they were with an older crowd.

raldabos · 2024-02-04T16:17:02+00:00

Read the stats, only like 5% of relationships have a gap bigger than 10 years. The fact both pills are super obsessed with this issue from different perspectives is annoying AF.

Sad_Conclusion8488 · 2024-02-04T19:47:25+00:00

Great question! If you find out can you send them to me???

jaybalvinman · 2024-02-05T19:21:02+00:00

My brother is 39 and can pull cute women 25 and under. He is also a single dad and lives at home with my mom.

BUT he is tall and handsome. That is all that matters.

Total_Hospital_6013 · 2024-02-06T19:12:56+00:00

Idk if you can call these a type but

Women who have a child or children in their late teens or early 20s I've noticed settle down in their longest relationships with older guys

Women who have always had low social status or very few friends

Women who are below average looking

Women who have a lot of financial struggles especially over long periods of time

Dr_Click_Click_Boom · 2024-02-03T21:52:05+00:00

I ran into an old high school classmate a few months ago at a hardware store. Funny thing is I've randomly bumped into her about every ten years or so since we graduated. This time she was with her husband.

So we're chatting in the bungee cord aisle and she tells me she got married at 18 to a 26 year old that she met at church. They had six kids together and I believe she said they had two grandchildren. She's the best example I personally know of a young woman who married an older man and made it work over the long haul.

What kind of woman is she? I can tell you what kind of girl she was in middle and high school.

Very religious, extremely smart...she was in the gifted program, took honors classes and made the honor roll. She graduated with honors. She was also incredibly kind.

Defundisraelnow · 2024-02-03T22:40:37+00:00

It's a minority of girls and they have daddy issues.

Alfred-Adler · 2024-02-04T04:47:56+00:00

I am an older Redditor.

When I was young, I used to date older women, then at one point I started dating younger women, and never stopped. My present wife is a lot younger than me.

So I have dated a lot of women who were younger/a lot younger then me. There are some women who just like older men, as simple as that. Just like there are men who like older women, and some like younger women.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-02-04T13:46:58+00:00

As a 37yo man with a 21yo gf and all my past few relationships and dating have been with girls 18 to 24 I'll say this...

It's all the same girls anyone else dates.

but it was always with age-appropriate men

I think you're just making assumptions. Most older men are not on a college campus. My gf was going to college. I never met or hung out with her at college. Why would her college acquaintances even know there was an agr unless she said there was one?

Natural-Sun1850 · 2024-02-03T20:44:06+00:00

In my experience dating younger women, they’re usually intelligent, slightly nerdy, with a high sex drive and expensive taste. You can see why a young woman like that wouldn’t be very interested in men her age.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-02-03T21:10:11+00:00

I'm 35 and talking to quite a few girls in the 18-24 range. The secret is that they aren't feminists and don't hate men.

It also helps that I can pass for mid-late 20s, good genes.

OfSpock · 2024-02-03T22:02:40+00:00

In direct contrast to conventional wisdom and most economic models of marital age gaps, we present robust evidence that men and women who are married to differently-aged spouses are negatively selected. Empirical results show lower cognitive ability, lower educational attainment, lower occupational wages, lower earnings, and less attractive appearance among those married to a differently-aged spouse. These results, obtained using samples of first marriages and controlling for age of marriage, are consistent with a model in which individuals with more schooling and more upwardly-mobile occupations interact more heavily with similarly-aged peers and are ultimately more likely to marry similarly-aged spouses.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6879192/

People who can't find someone their own age apparently.

NockerJoe · 2024-02-03T20:44:07+00:00

1% of a colleges female population is still gling to be dozens to hundreds of women. It doesn't need to be a regular thing every girl does for there to be a consistency to it happening.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2024-02-03T23:18:53+00:00

Awww, let's pretend it's 2010's rp forums again:

It is seen as low status in female social matrix to date older without any additional benefit. Women shame other women who are not conforming to the norm, as they are selling themselves cheap.

So the best bet is women who are somehow not taking part in intrafemale competition - the girls with no friends, outcasts because they are way poorer than the rest of their group, much uglier, or brought up differently (like a kid of drug addicts that had to survive on foodstamps among socialite queen bees, or a sheltered chrisitan girl)

When I was in my 20s I knew a few girls who dated older, and they were outcasts. One was an obese bulimic with self harm scars, other two where Russian and the girls our age gossiped they were prostitutes, so they stopped giving a fuck about the peer group opinion

Napoleon_B · 2024-02-04T07:44:15+00:00

I was 48 and a 27 year old woman pursued me. We lasted two years. I was apprehensive. I didn’t know that much about age gap relationships.

These are far more common than I could have imagined.

There are women that prefer a 20+ age gap. Well informed, educated and world weary woman.

r/AgeGap - 90,069

This one taught me a lot. I also noticed age gaps in tv and movies that I hadn’t previously given a second thought.

It’s common in many cultures, an older man in his 40s, 50s to connect with a 20-something. I realized that age gap relationships are everywhere and that I hadn’t given it a second thought until I was in one.

Netflix has a series that is uniquely informative. You’re grossed out by a 50 or 60 year old impregnating a 20 year old? Are you not equally morally outraged by the 60 year old woman with 25 year old man that adores and dotes on her??

Would you clutch your pearls if a 40-something woman married a 20-something male?

What about same sex relationships with a 20 or 30 year age gap?

We judge folks for so many reasons. These people are happy beyond our imagination.

I encourage everyone to watch the Netflix and other numerous documentaries, keep an open mind.

Love is love, right. You gonna judge a 25 year old man madly in love with, and married to a 65 year old woman? You gonna judge a 25 year old and a 50 year old in a same sex marriage?

Love is love. Practice what you preach. Defend your sistren when they find happiness.

mostessmoey · 2024-02-04T14:05:03+00:00

I didn’t go to college until my 30s. The women I was friends with didn’t date “old men”. We hated when old guys hit on us or approached us. We all dated men who were within 5 or so years of our ages. I dated 2 younger men, one was 2 years younger and the other 3.

giveuporfindaway · 2024-02-04T18:34:08+00:00

As a semi well to-do late 30's man - I have little luck pulling 20's women. Occasionally I get late 20's, never early or mid 20's. I suspect most of these women are only on Sugar Daddy websites.

Over_North8884 · 2024-02-03T21:35:33+00:00

Southeast Asian women: Thais, Vietnamese, and Filipinos. I routinely date with multi-decade age gaps.

Embarrassed_Fun3825 · 2024-02-04T01:29:53+00:00

Tbh it’s becoming a trend at least in low to middle class minority communities. Women figure men close in age aren’t mature enough & don’t have everything together whereas older men already have everything together so they don’t have to worry about the financial problems younger men go through, especially considering inflation. Everybody is in survival mode & nowadays playing it safe with someone financially fit is more convenient than trying to work it out with someone who isn’t there yet.

McTitty3000 · 2024-02-04T06:46:41+00:00

So I met my wife at community college when I was 33 and she was 19, I can't say there's really a type of woman that does this, the attraction is either there or it's not unless you're talking about the sugar baby lifestyle or something

lolthankstinder · 2024-02-03T21:48:44+00:00

I bet if you did a blind study where women ranked/selected men without knowing their age, women would naturally prefer an age gap that’s higher than expected. I also think that if you did that experiment with an age-known and age-unknown group, the former would bias their preferred age due to societal stigma of age gaps.

SteveSan82 · 2024-02-04T00:29:41+00:00

Throughout my late teens and 20s, my girlfriends all dumped me for men in their 30s and 40s. I never understood it until I was 31 and dated a 19 year old. After that I dated 19-25 year olds exclusively

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-02-03T19:29:39+00:00

You know what? I (40M) am about to find out!

My body count is 3, but I am still a relationship virgin.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-02-03T19:34:51+00:00

It’s mostly gold diggers, religious women or naïve women but occasionally it’s a good match. It just depends on the situation.

commentasaurus1989 · 2024-02-03T19:58:07+00:00

Environment.

Even within that microcosm you don’t see a lot of senior women dating freshman men.

Laniekea · 2024-02-03T20:05:43+00:00

They aren't in college. They're at parties trying to find a sugar daddy.

SummerEfficient6559 · 2024-02-03T20:12:53+00:00

I didn't set out to date older men during my 20s, but from what I remember, outside of looks and youth they liked that I was mature for my age and showed "potential". It wasn't a bs line because, due to life circumstances, I was mature for my age. Older men didn't take one look and ask me out, they got to know me over time, then in their eyes determined that I had "potential" I guess. I was working in a public facing job where one would visit me a couple times a week and strike up a conversation.

So, after getting over the initial apprehension, through older men I was introduced to environments and a level of sophistication that wouldn't have been possible for me, even with my ambition to give myself a better life. You can only go so far as a 20 something before you need some help or a connection. I was also born and raised in a large city so that makes a difference in meeting people.

Outside of a couple older, childfree women, during that time women weren't supportive of me and were actively trying to sabotage me and any kind of potential I displayed. Older men on the other hand, saw the potential and wanted to contribute to it-even if it didn't end in marriage.

This was 20 years ago so I can't speak to the current dating market, but in having conversations with younger women...I find many of them to be very superficial, entitled and reckless. They're not playing or thinking of the long game. But if you want to date younger women, you have to provide a lifestyle that men their age cannot provide and be a gentleman while doing it. Even more so for casual sex.

There's definitely an "exchange" that both parties need to benefit from. You're not entitled to a hot 25 year old just because you're 35. You need to outdo all of her options because as I saw it in my 20s, I need to come out of it with a "profit" so to say...college tuition paid, a new job, newer contacts for my career, an education in culture through trips, mentorship, etc... Even though there was genuine love in these relationships, we both understood the silent agreements that a within age gap relationships.

You as the 35 year old man have to raise her status through your resources like she will raise your status through her youth, beauty, kindness and class.

horn1k · 2024-02-04T01:41:21+00:00

Who are the type of young women who date older men?

The ones who get approached by older men. Who is confident enough to not care much about social norms.

Princessoflights · 2024-02-03T23:24:37+00:00

Mentally ill women who have personality disorders/daddy issues.
Women who have extremely low self esteem and don't think they can get any better.
Women who purely want transactional relationships and aren't interested in genuine romance.
Green card seekers who want a passport.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2024-02-03T19:49:31+00:00

I think your completely missing the fact that older men literally means "older than her", not grampas age.

I'm general when people say around X they mean give or take in either direction. Take for example shopping "get around 2lb if ground beef". However when women talk about the age of a guy it's doesn't mean the same thing, as it translates into "at least older than her". Shit like being an hour younger than her is generally off limits and not accepted. This leads women to push the "take" part further up, so it's now a take if he is a the same age or slightly older.

Silver_Switch_3109 · 2024-02-04T12:01:21+00:00

A small minority of women who either had terrible fathers which caused them to crave the attention of father figures, or gold diggers.

2024-02-03T20:00:32+00:00

Women in need of money and those who are mentally unstable and looking for a daddy.

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Demasii · 2024-02-03T21:43:01+00:00

I asked the question before. Check out the responses.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2024-02-03T23:18:44+00:00

Many are overseas in other countries like Phillippines or Colombia or Thailand, or Mexico or Cuba. My 50 yo neighbour who drove a school bus had a Cuban gf in her 20s. And that was back in 2000's.

Zabadoodude · 2024-02-04T00:38:40+00:00

People in college tend have most of their social life revolve around college. When I was in college I knew people that didn't leave campus for months at a time. Its hardly surprising that most sexual encounters were with other college students. For people after college or those that never went you interact more with people that aren't your age.

I met my gf at a 20's-30's singles meetup. I was 34 she was 25. Our age gap hasn't been a big deal.

CountMandrake · 2024-02-04T09:36:50+00:00

When I was in collegue, 15-17 years ago, most women were loyal.

SeveralAcorns · 2024-02-04T16:41:43+00:00

Can an ordinary man over 35 actually pull young women though, for either casual sex or a relationship? And if so, who are these women? What are their prospects?

Sure, they mostly have mental health issues, daddy issues, selfesteem issues, hear Lana del Rey, and have some sort of abuse in their past. Borderline personality disorder is overrepresented in the demographic.

As for "hot", that depends on how hot the guy is. As usual, men have to go lower for casual sex than for relationship partners. Young is already a premium on desirability, so an average 35+yo guy will not land a hot 20yo woman with a faible for older men. Because those women go for hot 40yo men.

Source: 40yo friend of mine who swipes only on 18-21yos and noticed this pattern for women who he matches with.

sexual_powerhouse · 2024-02-04T19:04:12+00:00

It's more common than the women on this sub suggest, but not as common as the men suggest either. Most of my hookups/flings from dating apps are younger women, though (I'm almost 30).

I wouldn't really classify them as anything, they just wanted to have fun and swiped on me, idk. But I am probably taller/more muscular than most younger dudes.

Leaving-trunk2 · 2024-02-05T18:04:59+00:00

I don’t know but they’re coming out of the woodwork since I turned 30.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-02-05T20:15:45+00:00

As the TRP Master Blaster of Age Gap Dating, let me weigh in:

First there are 3 groups of young women:

Group A. These women only want men their own age +4 to -1 years, and that's it. They will never consider and older man.

Group B. These women will consider the right older man - silver fox type, super fit/handsome, but otherwise they want the same thing that Group A wants.

Group C. These women actively want an older partner. Typically when women say the like "older men" it means 10-12 years older. It's going to be a single digit % of women.

Now, to you questions:

One of them stated that she started dating older men pretty soon after high school. Is this the type of girl that the older men in their 40s and up are targeting??

You mean like "just out of high school"? Probably some guys are but of the OM who date YW successfully, it's going to be 30-40s M dating 20s-30s W.

She states she mostly did it for nice gifts and occasional financial help.

Ok, so that's not what we're talking about. That's a semi-pro gold digger. She doesn't really like older guys, she likes money. If you asked her if she'd date a younger guy with money, she's probably say yes, and prefer that.

Where is this idea coming from?

Because it's possible, but for most guys it's wishful thinking.

Is it reserved for famous people?

No, but being an outlier in terms of looks/fame/money/game is going to make it easier.

Can an ordinary man over 35 actually pull young women though, for either casual sex or a relationship?

Define "ordinary"? As I have written before, the key to being an older man who dates young women is NOT to be ordinary, it is to be EXCEPTIONAL in one or (preferably) more ways.

I suppose a 22 y.o. plum could fall into the lap of a 35 year old, but in general the OM in an OM/YW combo is going to be exceptional, as that will increase his likelihood of success. A 35+ guy, average job, fat, etc. is not going to have much of a chance.

And if so, who are these women?

Young women who prefer older men for various reasons. IME, they tend to be introverts, although I am very extroverted so, to me, there seem to be a lot more introverts than there probably are.

Again, IME, women who want an older man are attracted to older men because of their maturity, their (purported) stability, competence, etc. Older guys who get it right are not going to get jealous for no reason, not going to fly off the handle, etc. To wit, the girls on my roster will tell you that I have never once raised my voice to them, let along struck them in anger. I don't get drunk and I never blow my cool. There's no point to it and it almost never helps a situation whether you are dealing with a girl or with other people.

If you want to be the Man, you need to make yourself exceptional in a couple of ways. And you need to normalize yourself for the girls. Ex. I have friends of all ages, from 18 to 79, and the ones in their 20s say they never "feel" my age - one said to me that I seem maybe 5 years older and I have a vibe like I am the "cool uncle/older brother" which means I m hitting the right notes.

Fitness: Don't be fat. Her dad is fat. Old guys are fat. YW who like older men will fuck older men but not old men. There's a difference. So no big guy hanging over your belt.

Finances: {Pauses for bluepills to act out that DiCaprio "finger pointing" meme.} That doesn't mean putting girls on an allowance. If you are, you are losing and you are more of a sugar daddy. Part of having your shit together is having your money right. Do I pick up dinner? Yep. I'm a successful guy. I pick up dinner when I go out with friends, unless there is another guy like me there and usually we will split the tab right down the middle, whether it's just us or if there are younger guys/gals there. I don't do anything for younger women that I haven't done/wouldn't do with older women I have dated.

Be Exceptional: I was lucky to have inherited most of my dad's height, so I am over 6' tall. {Pauses for short guys to act out that DiCaprio "finger pointing" meme.} In addition to being tall, I have most of the other "sixes" except that I don't have an actual 6-pack, but I don't have a big gut hanging over my belt. I am, more or less, rocking a "DILF" bod. Beyond that, I have a good singing voice, and I can use it to make girls feel all melty inside for me. I also write and occasionally perform original music. I also engage in sports that put me around young, fit women. Ex co-rec beach volleyball.

Game: Mastering game and understanding women makes everything easier as you herd her, inexorably, toward your bed.

Generalized competence also helps. Ex. I had a girl who would fly up to see me so that she could turn off her doctor-brain, and turn on her slave girl-brain. One one long weekend her return flight had been canceled a couple of time and I told her to monitor it and keep me posted. She wound up being put on standby, which was inconvenient because the day she was leaving, I was leaving on business, plus she runs quite a bit nervous. So I said, "What? This shall not stand!" and then rang the airline (at that time I was a top 5% customer for them because I flew a lot for business, pre-pandemic.) She had been linked to my account previously, so I had her feed me her info when I got an agent on the phone. After a couple of minutes of police conversation, "Et VOILÀ!", she now had an assigned seat. I hung up and she asked how I was able to do that. Me: "They value my business." Her: "But what about the other people on stand-by?" Me: "What about them? They are not you, and you are sleeping in the right bed."

What are their prospects?

Women sleep with who they want to. The woman in my above example had at least 7 orbiters, including another doctor. Different guys who would have given her a relationship but who didn't know how to unlock her desires.

The other women I date are all exceptional in their own ways: youth, beauty. One is a model, another is a dental school student, another graduates Summa Cum Laude and is making her way in the world. What were you expecting?

Whiskeymyers75 · 2024-02-06T03:21:57+00:00

Most younger women I've dated have told me that guys their own age are too immature.

DaveR_77 · 2024-02-06T07:41:22+00:00

I regularly get women 20+ years younger than me either show interest or even develop crushes. In fact of all the women in my life that have shown interest only a minority are older (older than 38ish).

if you want to know where or how- everywhere. A lot of workers that are low level are young women- retail workers, restaurants, cashiers, etc.

I think a lot of men say that women in their 20's chase them or show interest. Your view is very skewed.

I was in college once too and realize what you're saying is also correct. But it happens all the time. Sometimes i think they just don't realize how much older some people are. It happens to me too. Once i spoke with a woman (wasn't hitting on her or anything)- i was made aware that she was in her 80s! She looked like an attractive woman in her early fifties and was Hispanic.

I think that this also has to do with the fact that the majority of single women are in their 20's and 30's. That's also a big part of the reason.

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2024-02-06T19:54:25+00:00

Lots of young women date older men. They just dont say that they do. But all thr girls that take pics of their expensive food, expensive trips etc. a sugar daddy is buying that

Left-Yesterday7457 · 2024-02-08T05:11:17+00:00

Yes. Definitely.

If you are attractive age is irrelevant. It's just harder to remain at the correct standard of physical appeal as you age. Although men with decent genetics will look best in their late 30s.

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