Does the "friend zone" mainly consist of males? If so, why?

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-03-15T07:09:36+00:00

most guys want to fuck most women, most women do not want to fuck most guys. it's pretty simple really. men get friendzoned, women get friends-with-benefits-zoned, generally speaking (exceptions exist of course).

GhettoJamesBond · 2024-03-15T06:13:23+00:00

I work in Healthcare which is mostly women and I see something like a friendzone for women there. Many women are flirty on the job but the men don't pursue them because it's just too risky with the anti sexual harassment crusade going on.

gokeke · 2024-03-15T07:42:48+00:00

It’s because women find most men unattractive and men find most women attractive

MikeArrow · 2024-03-15T05:49:00+00:00

If I'm interacting with someone I find attractive, and they seem to enjoy my company, I'm going to want to take it further. I mean, why wouldn't I?

Women don't seem to have the same impulse, at least not towards me.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2024-03-15T06:48:49+00:00

Most men would fuck most women but the reverse isn’t necessarily true. Therefore if two people aren’t having sex, it’s usually because the women simply doesn’t want to with that particular man.
Men rarely object to sexual opportunities unless the women is significantly unattractive (this connects with the next point as well). And since most women are deemed “fuckable”-enough by most men, it’s extremely rare that a woman gets stuck in the friendzone with a guy. Even if the guy has no interest in a long-term relationship, he’d still take the free sexy time if she’s offering it.
Men rarely pursue interactions with women they find physically repulsive. Don’t get me wrong, those types of friendships can happen through work or school sometimes. But for the most part, if a man is actively seeking out a friendship with a particular woman, odds are he finds her attractive on some deeper level. Men don’t go out their way to pursue purely platonic friendships with women for the most part.
Men get gaslit into thinking that raw sexual attraction can be negotiated or earned through platonic friendship with women. This isn’t actually true tho in most cases.
Men often overestimate their attractiveness level, leading them to think they have a shot with a particular woman if they just “play the long game”.
Men that don’t typically receive a lot of attention from women will read too much into any woman that does want to be friends with them. Often interpreting that to mean she has deeper feelings than she actually does.

shestammie · 2024-03-15T05:59:22+00:00

I don’t think so. I’d argue that women are just less likely to ask out male friends and cause the “friendzoning” to begin with.

The crush is still there, but taking “action” on it might not necessarily be.

_StoryOfALonelyGuy_ · 2024-03-15T11:28:49+00:00

People who are friendzoned because of looks and "charisma" are mostly men yes.

People who get friendzoned because of deeper compatability reasons are more women.

ullivator · 2024-03-15T14:09:15+00:00

Because women find themselves in something similar but slightly different: Situationships.

Men will fuck an average-to-pretty girl who wants to fuck them, and will keep sleeping with her. They just won’t commit.

Women usually (but not always) won’t fuck men they would not at least try a relationship with.

CatholicChanner · 2024-03-15T05:56:44+00:00

I concur with the observation that men, especially inexperienced men or men without an abundance of choice, fall into this more probably due to a lack of options and men not really being able to open up to other men and instead confiding in their close female friends which can lead to feelings of attachment and intimacy over time in much the same way I think women repeatedly having sex with one FWB and no one else over time. It does happen with women but women usually have more options so if they get a crush on a guy friend it is able to fade a bit more-the exception being women who either are limited in their amount of options or limit their amount of options mentally to want to be with their friend.

More experienced men who have gone through BS friendzone heartbreak trauma are better able to manage their emotions and avoid it in the future I have found by being able to emotionally distance themselves there/create distance when necessary. The "escape" from the friendzone many men are looking for is not actually getting to be with their friend, but simply getting away/distancing themselves from their friend who does not requite their love and opening their eyes to options with women who would actually love them. Does not apply when the friend ACTUALLY likes them back of course.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-03-15T07:49:44+00:00

Yes, it happens to male mostly mainly because women have a lot more choice than men do. When a single woman friendzones a aingle man, basically the message they are sending is "they have a good personality and wants to talk to them, but they are not attractive enough". Average single men most definetly will never friendzone single women because of the lack of options but women will definetly do so because they also gain advantage. I mean, having a man who likes you around you gives you advantages like emotional support, you can ask his help and you will almost never say no and so on.

RaidenTheBlue · 2024-03-15T10:13:32+00:00

I think men just put up with it more. I’ve attempted to friend zone half a dozen women whom I met casually or went on a date with but felt nothing but platonic, but they pretty quickly cut contact due to a resource-preserving “all or nothing” mindset. I don’t blame them at all, I just notice that men are far more likely to accept less than they desired in that scenario than a woman.

EulenWatcher · 2024-03-15T05:48:42+00:00

From what I've seen men tend to spend more time in friendzone. I.e. when a woman would already get over her infatuation and/or move on, a man can still have some hope even when they're both in relationships. I'm not sure why it happens and I wouldn't claim it's always some deep feeling on his part and not just lust and "the one who got away" thing.

Kilatypus · 2024-03-15T11:43:22+00:00

I think women are less likely to be bothered by the friendzone because access to non-platonic intimacy is so readily available to them. The real "zone" for women is the "Fuck-only" zone, where she wants the guy to be loyal and monogamous, but he can only provide sexual access.

The problem with "zones" in general is that the person you want something from has communicated exactly what they want from you, whether it is friendship, sex, or anything else. You are the one who willingly stays in that zone.

You're only real choice when dealing with someone who won't give you what you want is:

Accept what they can give you and enjoy what ia there

Or

Move on and find someone who will give you what you are looking for.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-03-15T06:04:10+00:00

Until recently at least, women were more naturally red pilled about these things. They knew their level better. Most FZs are just a guy thinking that because he has an emotional connection with a woman and they enjoy each other's company that this overrides the sexual competition aspect of mating. They are wrong.

Women always knew this, though recently some seem pretty deluded about their level and are getting fuckzoned, which is just the friendzone plus sex. Men in the friendzone think this is better, but it isn't.

In addition, women are the choosers. So there is extra pressure on women not to be seen begging for a relationship. As humiliating as this is for a guy, it is way more humiliating for a women, especially with other women.

throwaway164_3 · 2024-03-15T06:04:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Safinated · 2024-03-15T06:21:08+00:00

Because friendship is more important to women than men

While sex is more important to men than women, hence the “fuckzone”

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-15T08:05:42+00:00

I think that if it's the case, it's because men are less likely to befriend women they don't want to date and more likely to try to start with friendship even when they know they want something more.

SupportRemarkable583 · 2024-03-15T06:09:29+00:00

I would say yes and that being is because women are the choosers for relationships

The_Eternal_Bantha · 2024-03-15T08:47:23+00:00

I'm friends with a few women online, there's some combination of no attraction on my end; large age gap; massive distance. I dont really have female friends irl though

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-03-15T11:18:49+00:00

I've friendzoned a girl who I wasn't attracted to, despite her attempting to flirt with me for a short while, after which she moved on to other dudes and we stayed platonic friends. That doesn't prove anything about the gender ratio, but it does at least prove that a nonzero number of women do end up friendzoned.

wtknight · 2024-03-15T12:02:24+00:00

Yes, because most men will have sex with a woman if they are single and have a chance, even if they aren’t really into her. Women get “fuckzoned” instead.

Some lower libido men might friendzone women whom they aren’t that into, though. I’ve done it in the past to a few women who were obviously into but whom I wasn’t attracted to.

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2024-03-15T12:52:09+00:00

Because women tend to politely just cut off a guy if he turns down their advances instead of lingering around and getting angry that he doesn’t want them.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-03-15T14:01:14+00:00

Yep, it's invariably sexually and socially inhibited men who believe that squelching all signs of sexuality and shaming the men women actually prefer will somehow win her over.

Friendzoners suffer a hero complex and place the women they desire on a pedestal, believing she's being used for sex by the men she's attracted to.

They are easy to spot in the wild, too. They use terms like "Chad", "jerk", and "bad boy". The hover and take up all the oxygen by criticizing popular men and making puritanical noises about sex.

modidlee · 2024-03-15T15:19:38+00:00

Because men will sleep with a female “friend” if she wants him to. Even if he’s not really attracted to her.

Flaky-Ad-1499 · 2024-03-15T15:35:05+00:00

This comment section is seemingly using a really broad definition of friend zoning — something like “when a woman befriends a man rather than trying to fuck him” — rather than the traditional definition, where a man and woman are friends, a man expresses feelings/ says they want a relationship, and the woman says she just wants to be friends.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-03-15T11:30:48+00:00

Men desire women more than vice versa. A lot of men are punching above their weight class, Just like women in the sex zone. Men want attractive women even though they’re not attractive themselves.

If women have to be attractive to get the man they want, the same applies to men.

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Love-Is-Selfish · 2024-03-15T06:01:22+00:00

Well, men initiate more than women, so maybe more men pursue a friendship with someone they like than vice versa.

Direct-Alternative70 · 2024-03-15T06:11:58+00:00

I think it’s more spoken or more obvious that men get friend zoned because typically it’s the guy who asks the girl out and women typically keep their crushes, subtle and wait for the guy to ask her out

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-03-15T07:20:48+00:00

Women are accustomed to hiding anything that makes them look foolish...our peers teach this to us ruthlessly age ten to about fifteen or so.

ThatLeval · 2024-03-15T07:48:03+00:00

The idea that it's males who struggle to maintain a friendship without turning it romantic is a complete myth

In the dating dance males are assigned the role of initiator so women are more likely to sit in silence with their feelings. Also fuckzone is a form of friendzoning which is something that's more likely to happen to females

tadL · 2024-03-15T08:55:06+00:00

Yes it does. Why? They still hope to fuck her/ hope to get acces through her to a friend of her. Honestly really simple. Not the nicest way framed. But yeah that's it.

Queasy_Bit952 · 2024-03-15T09:07:18+00:00

Even in your example you attribute intent to evolution. Gravity doesn't intend things to fall. That's just how it works. Evolution doesn't intend certain things to succeed. They are considered successes because they exist in the description of nature called evolution.

Maybe that's too subtle a distinction for what you're saying. This isn't a peer reviewed thesis. But your constant implication of intent is just wrong.

Hosj_Karp · 2024-03-15T09:22:18+00:00

women are more likely to be socially savvy enough to avoid it

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2024-03-15T10:07:38+00:00

Title: it doesn't it's just a different word.

For unattractive people (vast majority of men) and some women, they get put in the friendzone.

For everyone else that is attractive enough, they get put in the fuckzone. And everybody has heard women bitch about being fuckzoned.

optimuscrymez · 2024-03-15T10:19:31+00:00

The female version of the friend zone is the fuck zone.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2024-03-15T11:15:30+00:00

Yes it exists. Because despite his intrest in a woman not being reciprocated in the way he desires (more likely a relationship) he thinks that being in the friendzone is his only chances of getting his foot in the door.

Very rarely are women get friendzoned because a lot of men don't think its beneficial being friends with women unless its for sex. Theres no calling her up to hang out unless they're dating or fwb.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-03-15T12:21:08+00:00

the friend zone consists of males who failed to shoot their shot proactively in the right timeframe and who are trying to "sidle up" into a sexual relationship passively instead

Freevoulous · 2024-03-15T12:25:17+00:00

I see no reason why women would not find themselves in FZ. I accidentally friendzoned coworkers on two separate occasions. Both were super nice, good friends and kind women in general, just too overweight for me to find them attractive.

Both had crushes on me, which I needed to dodge with some social aikido and purposeful obliviousness.

My guess is that plenty of women are in the FZ, and the vast majority of them are quietly suffering, shy, introvert fat girls.

IronDBZ · 2024-03-15T13:18:58+00:00

I don't think it's necessarily just that the friend zone is mostly men, it is, but it's more that it's a much more socially defined position for men to be in with regard to women than it is the other way or between two people of the same sex. It exists for everyone.

But for the others, there's much more chance for movement. Either moving on from the person they're infatuated with or with the relationship moving to a different stage.

Guys get stuck with women because the situation is a lot more paralyzing because of too many catch-22s to resolve. So guys tend to stagnate there.

A man that is close to a woman that doesn't want him back is in a much more volatile situation than a woman with a man.

I've never heard of a man who stopped talking to a female friend just because she said she had feelings for him. In situations where they're in a relationship or the girl is stalking, that's different.

There's a cultural meme around male/female friendships that adds extra baggage to the dynamic that doesn't exist in others. Cause if a guy makes the mistake of just being honest about how he feels, he's likely to lose at least one friend, if not possibly their social circle in general.

Men complain about the friendzone because this is a stressful position to be in. To not only have feelings for someone that doesn't have them back, be stifled in expressing those feelings, but also have the added threat of being ostracized and treated like a traitor and a sneak for it.

Nobody in that position is demonized in the same way, except for maybe lesbians, and even then that comes down to cultural context.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-03-15T13:39:47+00:00

Because women know it’s not gonna work to be “on the outside pretending it’s friendship” when they like him so they jump to FWB to see what happens a lot of the time.

Windmill_flowers · 2024-03-15T15:44:33+00:00

Sure but the talking stage doesn't exist in a vacuum.

It's talking with an intent to become romantic - "would you like to have dinner with me sometime?"

Or with intent to become friends - "a group of us are going to a singles event, you interested?"

Either way you are trying to move from 1 category to the next. Not into a limbo state

Panhandle_Dolphin · 2024-03-15T15:55:34+00:00

Women have the friend zone, men have the fuck zone. Each sex is placed in these zones for similar reasons

Defundisraelnow · 2024-03-15T16:50:51+00:00

When women realize they don't have a chance with a guy, they either chill out or fuck off. They don't keep orbiting like men do.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2024-03-15T18:04:37+00:00

The equivalent of the friendzone for women is the fuck only zone.

Flaky-Ad-1499 · 2024-03-15T20:11:02+00:00

Unrelated but I’ve seen a few times in this comment section men saying they’ve never seen a woman friend bake for others/male friends… how is that even possible? Women be baking lol

8won6 · 2024-03-15T20:36:49+00:00

men typically end up in the friendzone. Women end up in the situationship zone.

kayceeplusplus · 2024-03-15T21:21:26+00:00

It happened to me (21F) just now lol…

Westernation · 2024-03-17T19:44:15+00:00

I sometimes think it’s because women are told from childhood to walk away from relationships that don’t explicitly benefit them continuously.

Men aren’t taught things like that. AND are wired to be persistent in going after things they want. Which can be amazingly harmful to a man’s well-being.

Of course, there are those males who deviously pretend to be friends with women in order to somehow weasel their way into an intimate relationship.

I wouldn’t exactly call those last ones ‘men’ though. Creeps, maybe. Stalkers.

TRTGymBro · 2024-03-15T10:47:47+00:00

Yes. Typically women don't settle for a friendzone type relationship and they get mad at a guy for not wanting to sleep with them. So they blow up the friendship.

wardenferry419 · 2024-03-15T11:04:25+00:00

women often want male usefulness and attention with obligation hence the "the friendzone."

The_Forgotten001 · 2024-03-15T06:35:31+00:00

Men are generally more risk averse so they....

A. want to try and connect being friends (without flirting) and think that their personality and the fact that they share an activity will be enough. These guys who are friend-zoned (often) also tend to be hyper agreeable with said friend.

B. Men aren't born with a guide on how to be attractive and how to attract, so the ones who end up there (non-purposefully) so these ones ones are to shy to say anything and just watch on the side.

C. Women are way more extroverted when compared to men, and get hit on by more aggressive men. So women won't pick up on any subtle hints a male friend would send because she's used to men just being direct. So unless she's really into the guy she won't bother to even notice anything else.

But to reiterate the real key is that men by nature are risk averse and don't want their reputations hit, so they will approach it the safest way they think will work.

The problem is women don't want safe.

They want exciting.

CraftyCooler · 2024-03-15T06:40:16+00:00

Yes it's true - i guess men are exploring all the interesting options available, so the girl they are friends with are also taken into account and some time may be spent trying to get closer. But i wouldn't overestimate how deep guys are actually involved. I've seen a few situations where girl rejected romantic option, but hinted that her friend might be interested - and guys were pretty happy with that totally forgetting about original crush.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-03-15T08:23:14+00:00

Because like any other problem men or woman face, woman see it as their problem to solve, men see it as everyone else’s

obviousredflag · 2024-03-15T08:42:44+00:00

Obviously because men try to get sex and romance via a friendship connection that keeps them in the woman's life. Women on the other hand try to get romance and friendship via sexual availability, that keeps them in the man's life. So both are in the FZ. But once it's the friend zone, and the other time it's the fuck zone.

Sometimes women think they can reverse the game and withhold sex in order to get more commitment. That is like, for a man, thinking that by giving her no attention you could make her want to fuck you. This only works on people who are desperate for a relationship or desperate for attention. You don't want either of them in a relationship.

magat3ars · 2024-03-15T09:45:59+00:00

I think the friend zone generally is what the fuck zone is for women. It basically the limbo between friendship and relationship.

You can't seem to get both sex and feelings in the relationship. So commitment is now a situationship.

Men usually give a type of emotional vulnerability. You're one of the few people to see him open up and be vulnerable. Then the same with sex for women generally. A very vulnerable state is shown and admired. It's respected for women to be caring to men being vulnerable plus emotional and men being respectful of her body and looks.

Women can be friend zoned similar to men being fuck zoned.

If a man is friend zoned, he's not being straight forward. The reason a guy calls it the friend zone is anger at insanity. Doing the same action with no change. Then you have women and the fuck zone. The same anger. You have given a vulnerable part of yourself, but they won't give the same is the frustration.

Men have a hard time seperating feelings from sex. Women have a hard time seperating sex from feelings. Feelings lead into sex for many men. You start there to be mindful. Sex is the vulnerable part for women. You aren't emotional as much before compared to after. You start feelings things deeper. Giving a very vulnerable moment. Both wonder why the other doesn't feel the same.

Unhappy-Yak-8648 · 2024-03-15T10:06:57+00:00

Usually because of the lack of options. If a woman wants to move on she knows she can get an attractive guy to sleep with within the hour if she wanted to. But its not the same for most men. The scarcity mindset is too real. Often times men continue being friends even when the friendship become unbearable because of their feelings. But scarcity/scarcity mindset makes them remain friends because of hope that one day she will change her mind.

Schmurby · 2024-03-15T10:53:12+00:00

Why do people complain about “the friend zone”?

Best road to the “with benefits zone” in my experience.

Title	Does the "friend zone" mainly consist of males? If so, why?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	26
Comments	352
Date	March 15, 2024 5:43 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bf6u9h/does_the_friend_zone_mainly_consist_of_males_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-the-friend-zone-mainly-consist-of-males-if-so.1426317 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426317

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