If you let your girlfriend go on an all girls vacation, don't cry to anyone when she cheats on you

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2024-05-09T17:18:22+00:00

This applies to both men and women:

If your partner intends to cheat on you, preventing them from doing so does not make your relationship situation any better.

If they do not intend to cheat on you, you have no reason to prevent them from doing what they want.

If your partner cheats on you, they likely would have done so without any input from you. I don’t understand how acting to prevent your partner from cheating on you does you any good. If they want to cheat at all, the relationship is already fucked.

It’s not your responsibility to prevent yourself from being cheated on. That’s on the cheater. They’re going to do what they’re going to do. All you can do is respond to their behavior.

TotalTravesty · 2024-05-09T17:57:01+00:00

Do you guys think every destination that isn’t your front doorstep is Love Island? My girl’s idea of a vacation with friends is a camping trip, which, as someone accustomed to indoor plumbing, I wish them the best of luck with. At least I now know how they feel about the prospect of running into a man there.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-05-09T17:46:44+00:00

If someone is gonna cheat they’re gonna cheat. The only way to prevent it is to lock her up and never let her leave the house, and I guess good luck with that?

Franc3n35d · 2024-05-09T17:22:28+00:00

If the woman can't go on a trip and not cheat, she belongs to the streets. There's too many good people out there to be worried about someone who's main reason for not cheating is wrong geographic location

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-05-09T17:15:03+00:00

Guarantee you that after tagging along to one quilt festival the average man will give up totally on this sort of nonsense.

Choice-Substance-183 · 2024-05-09T18:17:24+00:00

If your partner is going to cheat, they don't need a girls' trip to do so.

AcephalicDude · 2024-05-09T16:59:51+00:00

If you can't trust your girlfriend to go on a trip with her friends without betraying you, your relationship is already fucked. You should just break-up with her pre-emptively and find someone that inspires your complete trust. Either that, or the problem is you and you need to work on your insecurities.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-05-09T17:04:00+00:00

My wife and her friends went on an all girls weekend once. They kept sending back us picks of them in bikinis. Ngl it was pretty nice.

TheDerInDisorder · 2024-05-09T17:07:28+00:00

You don't "let" anyone do anything. It's their right to go wherever they want. You can choose to remove yourself from a relationship if it bugs you.

Hot-Law2682 · 2024-05-09T17:25:10+00:00

"all women will cheat the second they get the chance" gives the same vibe as "all men will rape a woman the second they get a chance"

There are plenty of people who pass what are the bare minimum standards of moral behavior (not cheating or raping). If cheating was so commonly desired there wouldn't be a massive taboo around it. An easy proof of this is that in other cultures where cheating is more common there is actually less of a taboo around it.

https://www.statista.com/chart/3742/the-countries-that-care-about-cheating-the-least/#:~:text=According%20to%20Pew%20Research%2C%20France,considering%20an%20affair%20morally%20unacceptable.&text=This%20chart%20shows%20the%20percentage,an%20extramarital%20affair%20morally%20unacceptable.Y

Slyfer_Seven · 2024-05-09T17:07:10+00:00

If your gf is the type to cheat the second she can, you should learn to choose better women.

If you believe this holds true for all women, you're no better than the women who choose the bear...

complete_doodle · 2024-05-09T17:17:41+00:00

So you never go on all boys trips, right?

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-05-09T18:54:51+00:00

Women aren't unicorns. Never believe your girl won't cheat, she will the second she gets the chance and knows you won't find out.

Again.

Women don't need to "go on an all girls vacation" to cheat on their partner.

Women don't need to "go to the club" to cheat on their partner.

Dick is available 24/7 to women if we want it. Special circumstances are not needed for this. Men tell us this all the time, and then turn around and act like the only chances for us to take advantage of it are on girls' nights out or "girls trips?"

Make it make sense.

Why are some men so thoroughly, utterly convinced that having fun with our same-sex friends = "I want to cheat on my partner?" It's gotta be projection or something cause idgi. Since men are thinking about sex 24/7, do you assume we must be doing the same, and looking for any and every opportunity to have it? "Well if I was away from my girlfriend with my guy friends, I'd be tempted to fuck strange pussy, so obviously women would be tempted to jump on strange dick?"

Do you think us having fun with our female friends makes us crave strange dick? Spending time with our female friends turns us on? What on earth is the rationale here - when dick is available 24/7 - for so many men to believe that the only times we can cheat on our partners is when we're out with several other women?

If we wanted so badly to cheat on our partners with "handsome, athletic men," there's plenty of times when we could do so without having a bunch of our friends as witnesses around. Y'all know that, right?

We could cheat on you on the way to work.

We can cheat on you at work.

We can cheat on you on the way home from work.

We can cheat when you're at work.

We could go grocery shopping and cheat.

We could go to get gas and cheat.

We could go to a doctor's appointment and cheat.

Y'all are so rational and logical. How do you not already understand this?

ComfortableJeans · 2024-05-09T17:42:41+00:00

Shouldn't the idea then be to dump any girl who shows intrest in going on an "all girls vacation" then?

If assuming that it's going to end with her cheating, then the act of asking is essentially confirmation that she would cheat on you, why wouldn't you just end things there?

And if they'll all cheat, you're an idiot for ever dating one in the first place. And a prize idiot for ever falling in love with one.

I'm not saying I'd be comfortable with it either, but there seems like a lot of middle manning here that could be cut out.

I'd say that people should have more respect for themselves than to date someone who they'll believe will cheat on them.

PradaAndPunishment · 2024-05-09T18:24:34+00:00

You think women need to go on vacation to cheat?

DaMarcusGotJuice · 2024-05-09T18:47:04+00:00

Let her do whatever she want bro, if she act like a thot just cheat too or go 50/50

U can’t ever control a woman behavior only your own

stan2smith001 · 2024-05-10T02:51:36+00:00

I would not let me gf go away on a girls trip, if she did, I would go away by myself to a country that has legal prostitution and have my own fun then. Girls don't always plan on cheating, but when they are encouraged by their gf's and are drunk and peer pressured, even the best women will make a mistake and do it. But most guys are so dumb and think they will be controlling by telling their gf NO, I don't feel comfortable with you going, but they will NOT walk away when she does. I would tell my gf, if you go, I will also go on a solo trip myself, to Philippians or Thailand or Latin America, Amsterdam. And if she says ok. The relationship will be over when I get back.

OR I will tell her, I don't date girls who go on girls trips, so you can go, but you will be single when you get back.

bluestjuice · 2024-05-09T17:10:16+00:00

You can’t ethically stop her.

Happily, you don’t have any responsibility over her actions. If she chooses to cheat on you she carries the responsibility for that, and you can feel free to cry or act on that knowledge in any (ethical) way you wish.

literaryhogwartian · 2024-05-09T17:17:06+00:00

Let? Let?

mrs_seng · 2024-05-09T17:29:05+00:00

What do you mean by "let"? Do you own her to "let" her do things?

KayRay1994 · 2024-05-09T17:53:40+00:00

<image>

this is OP writing the post

Choice-Substance-183 · 2024-05-09T17:00:56+00:00

Never believe your girl won't cheat, she will the second she gets the chance and knows you won't find out.

If you believe this, stay single.

Ladies, enjoy your girls' trips! I know I enjoy mine with my friends. We're headed to Sedona, Arizona, next.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-05-09T20:58:32+00:00

I think a caveat to this would be the kind of women your wife/gf whoever goes with. Women are super susceptible to this kind of shit if their friends are doing it and encourage it.

It’s why it’s good to stay away from women with loose friends.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-05-10T04:08:42+00:00

my partner is his own person and I do not control his decisions and more than he does mine. An all girls' trip is not an any more likely time/ place for a cheater to cheat than anywhere or anytime else is. Unless you're implying that a person should literally control their partner and never allow them out of their sight, there is no way to ensure fidelity. That's where trust comes in.

SlothMonster9 · 2024-05-09T17:31:32+00:00

My husband goes on work trips all the time. His work field is almost entirely female dominated so he has every opportunity to cheat on me there, especially since he's very charismatic. Should I have not "let" him go? I was under the impression that relationships are built on mutual trust and attraction, not on restricting your partner's life so they don't go wild when meeting other people.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-09T17:35:48+00:00

Would you like to be denied permission by your partner to go to places? If you're worried about where she is you can ask her to message. Most people don't go on holiday to "party" with people looking to hook up anyway, maybe ask where she'll actually be before leaping to conclusions. If you don't think normally that she's going to cheat I don't know how that's going to change now. You can "get the chance" at home. And quite frankly anyone who's cheated on and hasn't cheated on/abused their partner has reason to be sad about it even if they didn't lock them up 24/7.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-05-09T17:27:17+00:00

My husband doesn't let me go on vacation with my friends, he's not my keeper.

If someone wants to cheat, they'll cheat. If you think that limiting where your partner can go eliminates that problem, you're a moron. If you need to control where your partner is allowed to go because you have so little trust in them as a person, you shouldn't be with that person. And if you need to do that for every partner, then maybe you've got some issues to work through before you get into a relationship because you're gonna create a bad time not just for yourself, but for the other person as well. Nobody thinks back fondly on insecure, hyper-controlling exes.

RubyDiscus · 2024-05-09T17:28:58+00:00

I've been on holidays with my ex. Most men aren't insecure and think their gf will cheat.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2024-05-09T17:45:09+00:00

What a strange world you live in; everybody cheating, no one trusting each other, "letting" women do things. Tsk.

The last girls trip I went on; we went to all sorts of museums, ate at overpriced restaurants, took an absurd amount of photos of the local flora/fauna, saw a comedy show, and spent the rest of our time reading or lounging by the pool. Shit, I eve brought back a novelty ashtray for my husband.

But sure, I guess in your world once those tricksy women are out of reach its just suckin' n fuckin' all the way down.

I don't know how y'all operate in relationships with this absurdly large, frontloaded, burden of mistrust. It seems so tiring to think the worst of the person closest to you.

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Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-05-09T17:37:43+00:00

I don't even know why a woman who will cheat on vacation and a man who is paranoid about the her cheating would be dating in the first place

John-Nada_ · 2024-05-09T18:32:22+00:00

The idea is, that there’s nothing that holds ppl necessarily together, "thick 'n thin" stuff like this is just not there anymore. And the only strategy or idea to this one is a bit harsh at first, but if somebody crosses your boundaries to that extent that ppl put you into situations where you have to doubt them, you just end the relationship by your terms.

If she knows that she can cross your boundaries and you take her back or don’t make a big deal out of it, she’s going to do it again and again and this where things get hurtful.

So, if you take your own dignity more important than anything else, it encourages others to do same.

Now for her it’s a much better signal to know that you rather end this relationship on your terms, than for her to go to girls only vacation and cheats behind your back with the local chad and you put up with it.

because, once you start your dignity as a primary, ppl actually start also respecting you.

Blenkeirde · 2024-05-09T19:25:22+00:00

To keep my girlfriend in line I chain her to a pillar in my basement. Fun is for men.

Key-Pineapple-1427 · 2024-05-09T19:46:12+00:00

I let my ex in our 6 year relationship go on vacations with her girl friends and she never cheated while on them. She cheated at her house with a “gay friend”. Women who will cheat will end up cheating regardless

Bikerbats · 2024-05-09T20:34:32+00:00

If you don't keep an eye on your girl 24/7 don't cry to anyone when cheats you. That's what you said. No one needs a trip to cheat man. People have cheated with the people next door or in the next apartment since the invention of doors and apartments. If you're that damned paranoid about her fidelity, you shouldn't be married.

bluestjuice · 2024-05-09T20:57:01+00:00

Chaucer’s Wife of Bath has this to say about it:

“Thou sholdest seye, “Wyf, go where thee liste;

Taak youre disport, I wol nat leve no talys.

I knowe yow for a trewe wyf, Dame Alys.”

We love no man that taketh kepe or charge

Wher that we goon; we wol ben at oure large.”

2024-05-09T21:28:16+00:00

Brother wtf is this. Such a strong relationship that she cheats on me on a vacation. Thats not a type of women i want or i look for. I hope people emphasise strong character in partners over looks and treat looks as a bonus because if not thats hella shallow and its bound to end. I would rather have an ugly loyal girl then a good looking hooker.

nytnaltx · 2024-05-10T02:02:47+00:00

A person won’t cheat unless they are open to it. Opportunity to cheat is everywhere/anytime you aren’t watching. But whether that person will cheat on you is entirely up to them. There are all sorts of women who would never cheat on their partner for any reason. Giving them the opportunity to potentially get away with cheating (aka leaving the house unsupervised) is not going to cause them to cheat.

But good for you for sharing with us that that’s how you think. You would cheat if given the opportunity, therefore you project that same thought process onto all women, many of whom don’t think like you at all.

apresonly · 2024-05-10T18:47:09+00:00

the point of relationships is being there for each other, even when someone has made a stupid decision.

wait until you find out you're supposed to be there for your friends even when your friend is in the wrong!

AwakenTheSavage · 2024-05-09T18:46:22+00:00

Same old Red Pill talking points. Secret cuckold fetish for sure. Watch less porn and the brain rot will go away.

Poor_Olive_Snook · 2024-05-09T17:58:08+00:00

What a shitty take

ppvremsleep · 2024-05-09T17:07:45+00:00

Depends on where. If it’s Vegas, Miami, ski resort, or LA. She’s going with her friends even if you say no, and you can’t come.

She going to cheat, it’s on her itinerary. Have her share location, if she’s in a weird location and won’t answer a FaceTime, it’s over. Women go on girls trips so they can cheat.

I’ve got with girls in relationships in all those cities and been cheated on at them too. I put my arm around a girl I was not even talking to walking outside a Vegas nightclub. I said want to go up to my room? First thing I said. She said yes and went straight up the elevator in my arms. In the morning said she had a husband she doesn’t like, and women would choose the bear, okay sure.

obviousredflag · 2024-05-09T17:44:49+00:00

What kind of idiot does a man have to be to even entertain the notion of letting his woman go away with 4 other women to a foreign destination where you won't know what she will be at.

What kind of idiot does a man have to be to think a woman needs an all girls vacation to cheat? You think she goes to yoga class? No, she is sweaty when she comes home because she is riding Chad, who got her number on her way to work. Jesus Christ, dude. Women aren't unicorns. She will cheat the second she gets the cahnce and knows you won't find out.

What really is your thinking here?

backstabber81 · 2024-05-09T19:09:27+00:00

Yuck, this reeks of insecurities left and right, with a dose of trust issues.

My boyfriend has gone on boys trips and I haven't worried for a second about him cheating on me. I've gone on girl trips and no one cheated, like, when I've gone on girl trips the aim is to chill by the beach and maybe go to the spa, or shopping.

The "places with handsome athletic men looking for sex partying" and alcohol involved...I don't know what to tell you, but that kind of sounds like college to me and not where working professionals like to go for vacation. After dealing with work crap the last thing I want to do is to be somewhere loud with alcohol, I want peace.

A cheater is going to cheat whether you worry about it or not, if you can't even trust your GF to go away for a week and not cheat, you guys have no business being together. Also what do you mean by 'let'? Like, a parent not letting their kid go on a school trip?

blebbyroo · 2024-05-09T19:26:59+00:00

You don’t “let” your partner do things you don’t control or own them. You discuss it and if finances aren’t tight, the trip wouldn’t massively inconvenience or jeopardise something like health, then it’s not really your decision to make

Hot_Ad_815 · 2024-05-09T19:48:42+00:00

I can tell you from experience that this stems from many relationship issues including lack of or miscommunication, and deep seated insecurities. Im not here to judge but I would guess you have issues you need to fix.

If your girl is worth staying with, then trust her until you have a reason not to. If she wants to cheat on you, she will. Don't need a girls trip for that.

Read the paragraph above again.

Now, if you can't bear the possibility of being fooled and hurt, you can't be in a healthy relationship.

I realized that and stopped using crutches in life. I sat with my discomfort and I'm slowly becoming the man I want to be. I did it for me. And everybody else is gaining from it.

Trust me, trust her, and work on seeing yourself as a lovable person.

Good luck.

Commercial_Tea_8185 · 2024-05-09T19:55:08+00:00

Wtf you mean ‘let’ ? 😂

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-05-09T18:08:11+00:00

What if someone just doesn’t care what his girlfriend does on 1 night every 2 years?

Maybe sometimes he has his fun himself?

A lot of men are very afraid of cheating, but not all are if context is right.

I historically would agree, but nowadays I might not care that much, very context dependent

nopridewithoutshame · 2024-05-09T18:01:02+00:00

Unless you're engaged/married you don't have say over where she goes or with whom.

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superlurkage · 2024-05-09T17:51:06+00:00

Men will keep doing both

EulenWatcher · 2024-05-09T18:59:20+00:00

From one hand, I agree with the idea that avoiding situations where one might be tempted to cheat is a good strategy. Just saying that "oh, I'd never cheat" isn't enough, you have to act on it. I.e. cut contact with people you start feeling attraction to, don't drink heavily if you know that you tend to act recklessly when you're drunk etc.

From the other, I think if you or your partner have a strong temptation to cheat to the point you can't trust each other to spend some days on your own, you probably either aren't compatible or one/both of you just aren't cut for long-term exclusive monogamous relationships.

Plus, not everyone travels to drink and party. Quite a lot of people prefer "lazy" vacations with no or very limited alcohol and some like very active vacations, where they just don't have much time or energy left for parties. If you know your partner and their social circle well enough, you can predict what kind of fun they're going to have.

My husband knows that if my friend and I went on a vacation, we'd spend most of our time eating, swimming and just walking around. I can't drink for the life of me and I view 99.99...9% of people as completely non-sexual beings. He'd worry more about our safety than anything else.

Acrobatic-Ad4726 · 2024-05-09T20:06:26+00:00

Ya, I'd never be allowed to go on a girls vacation!

KurlyKayla · 2024-05-09T20:39:25+00:00

Controlling your cheating partner isn’t going to stop them from cheating. Just don’t be with them if you can’t trust them.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-05-09T20:44:10+00:00

“Let”???

eyewave · 2024-05-09T21:09:08+00:00

I couldn't care less what she does on her off time as long as she doesn't bring an STI or a fetus back.

ur-moms-new-gf · 2024-05-09T21:12:08+00:00

"someone who has the opportunity to cheat will cheat" - a cheater, probably

operajunkie · 2024-05-10T02:45:55+00:00

I go on a girl’s trip with my female cousins every year and not one of us has ever cheated. How about dating people you actually like you and have decent character?

Apart-Ad-7921 · 2024-05-14T00:10:51+00:00

Why do you think this?

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-05-09T18:34:42+00:00

This is a reflection of the quality of women that exist today.

The female sex has become completely unhinged(as everyone knows).

kongeriket · 2024-05-09T21:40:07+00:00

Skill issue. Pick better.

What kind of idiot does a man have to be to even entertain the notion of letting his woman go away with 4 other women to a foreign destination where you won't know what she will be at.

A man who picked well.

Me and my wife travel a lot. Both together and separately with work-related. Nearly all vacations are together, of course, but allowing the other some space is vital. We would've separated a decade ago if she had such demands of me or if I had such demands of her.

If you don't trust her, then she's not your girlfriend or de facto/future wife. She's just a fuck buddy. And that's okay, but don't project fuck buddy standards to serious relationships among mature adults.

just_a_place · 2024-05-10T04:50:18+00:00

Such a man is already an idiot to begin with by even entertaining the notion of having such a girlfriend who would consider a girls vacation a think that she must do.

I would never consider a woman with such a mindset as girlfriend material for me. Maybe a FWB where her girl trips wouldn't really be a big deal to me since she owes me nothing and likewise I have no responsibilities towards her either.

So what's the lesson here? Don't get into serious relationships with women who are of the mindset to go out and fuck around on you. If you want a serious relationship get a serious girlfriend, one who isn't about that bullshit life.

slazengerx · 2024-05-09T18:43:10+00:00

Two rules: No babies and no diseases. So, use a condom. Otherwise, enjoy yourself.

Sex is a fun activity to be enjoyed by consenting adults. Why people put it up on some pedestal of (desired) moral purity, I have no idea. Actually, I do have an idea. It's almost always religious nuts.

TheRealConine · 2024-05-09T18:56:07+00:00

I understand your sentiment, but if a woman wants to cheat, she will find a way to do so.

“Forbidding” her to go on these trips just seems like you’re setting yourself up to push her on some other dudes dick.

I assume you’re getting at the point that her going on these trips puts her in a scenario where there will be more opportunity, more peer pressure (depending on friends), and worse judgement.

UnhappyInevitable680 · 2024-05-09T17:15:43+00:00

Depends on the friends, depends on where, depends on your trust for them. But I hate the notion that it is insecure to not approve of it. Women are expert bull shitters and are more deceptive than people think. They also are really good at justifying things in their head, which can lead to cheating, as they would see at as something watered down form cheating, and blame you for her wanting to do it. Honestly I probably wouldn’t approve of it in most cases. Then again I would never date a party girl. I like simple women as I am a simple man.

Title	If you let your girlfriend go on an all girls vacation, don't cry to anyone when she cheats on you
Author	Goodgoy6969
Upvotes	0
Comments	382
Date	May 9, 2024 4:56 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1co21ys/if_you_let_your_girlfriend_go_on_an_all_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-let-your-girlfriend-go-on-an-all-girls.1518004 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518004

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