How Can We Improve Dating Sites?

TopShelfSnipes · 2024-12-03T14:23:42+00:00

Simple. The dating sites are gonna hate this though. Change the algorithms:

Pay a nominal monthly fee to join. $10 or less.
Make everyone take a brief questionnaire on what they're looking for. Only include the following traits:
- Age (Number), Race (allow multiple selections), Location (Town/City)
- Religion (Dropdown of all religions, spiritual but not religious, questioning, agnostic, atheist)
- Sex (Male/Female/Non-Binary)
- Smokes (Yes/No/Occasionally), Drinks (Every Day/Few Times a Week/Few Times a Month/Occasionally/No)
- Diet (Allow multiple selections from all major options)
- Education Level (Didn't finish HS, HS Grade, Some college, Associates, Bachelor's, Some postgrad, Postgrad)
- Children (No and don't want, No but maybe someday, no but want, yes and have full custody, yes and don't have full custody, yes and they don't live with me, adult children)
- Looking for (Casual sex, a relationship) - do not make marriage an option here!
- Commitment Type (Monogamy, Ethical Non-Monogamy)
Each person answers the above for themselves, and gives multiple allowable answers for prospective matches. They also are allowed to give "dealbreaker" answers for prospective matches, which means if a profile selects this answer, they will not see them, regardless of how many "matching" answers they chose. Best explained with an example - a man selectes Omnivore and says he's interested in anyone who is an "omnivore, vegetarian, gluten-free, keto, or paleo". She selects "vegan and vegetarian" and her preferences aren't incompatible with his. Based on "vegetarian" she'd show up as a prospective match or him. But if he dealbreaks "vegan", she won't.
Show everyone a daily dose of up to 30* "prospective matches" that includes ONLY profiles who meet all their above criteria AND who they meet all the match's criteria.
You don't get new "prospective matches" until you clear old ones. At no time will you have more than 30* "prospective matches"
If you "LIKE" a profile, you will, in FIFO order, be prioritized to be shown in their "prospective matches" queue once they clear their existing matches.
However, at all times, no more than 30% of your "prospective matches" will be people who've "liked" you. This forces people to engage with profiles who haven't "liked" them yet, while tantalizing them with an up to 30% chance when they click on a profile that this person has already "liked" them.
You cannot message anyone you are not matched with. You cannot unmatch with a match in <48 hours. You cannot match with more than 10 people at a time, so you have to unmatch (after 48 hours) if you want to be able to match with new people.
Publish these on every profile: Like rate (profiles liked / profiles viewed, as a %), Message rate (matches messaged regardless of who messaged first / total matches, as a %), Date Rate (matches dated / total matches, as a %) - this is confirmed by one person clicking "I dated this person" and confirming, and the other person acknowledging the date so both get credit. This will filter out unserious people, people who are bad at replying, and people who "like" everyone.
Inactive profiles (no login for 48h) are automatically removed from anyone's "prospective matches" so they can get new matches. All profiles inactive for 14 days are automatically unmatched from matches.
All communications through the app cannot be deleted and things like unsolicited dick pics are an auto-ban without refund if reported.

*This number can change, or maybe you can pay a nominal fee to increase it to 50, or maybe even 100 but you still have to clear old maches before getting new ones, and there is no way to bypass system rules or exclusively see who "liked" you.

This setup forces people to see new profiles, forces women to view and "like" profiles not just sort through messages and likes, prevents unwanted messages from non-matches, penalizes overly selective and overeager swipers, rewards people who actually communicate and people who actually date, and allows for better filtering to waste less time on incompatible people.

Coupled with the app hosting local events, this could be a good way to make things fun.

lord-moo · 2024-12-03T13:53:34+00:00

we don't, this is the genders' respective strategies coming into fruition in it's final form.

HOLYREGIME · 2024-12-03T13:45:43+00:00

You can’t

I think it’s a fundamental problem with human nature. Too many men, too few women. Men are generally interested in sex, women only want to interact with top men.

Apps start off good, but eventually devolve to the lowest common denominator. Tinder may worked for the initial audience then as more people used it, then it just became a hookup app. Bumble was then adopted and it again likely worked for its initial users looking for relationships, but as more people used it the same thing occurred. Hinge is going or went through that phase already.

Gen Z seems to be rejecting dating apps because they are a lost cause. IG may work as a dating app, but you’re better off doing it there or in person. Apps tricked millennials and they’re paying the price.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-12-03T13:50:08+00:00

You can't, every data OkCupid shows that it's not something you can fix nor improve.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2024-12-03T13:48:45+00:00

I think getting all the married people off of them would be a great first step

one_ball_policy · 2024-12-03T15:42:24+00:00

Show a response/ghost percentage. Wouldn’t waste my time with anyone who matches people and don’t plan on messaging.

Pathosgrim · 2024-12-03T13:54:31+00:00

There is no improvement. This is human nature. Eventually, the sites will become obsolete as things continue to worsen. Enjoy 🥂

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-12-03T14:09:58+00:00

There has to be some clever implementation of a new style dating site, and that person will likely be worth a billion for it. Match stock is way down it’s ripe for the taking.

The majority of action that occurs on dating sites is the top 10% of guys locking horns or hooking up with the top 60% of women. If you’re a guy and you can just keep hooking up easily on dating apps, you’ll just keep going until one woman really floats your boat.

Apps work incredibly well for top 10% men, they don’t have any real complaints. It’s magical to have a woman show up where you want and most be willing to hookup with them. They’re called hookup apps because that’s the most common occurrence outside of them. If women aren’t too picky, they seem to like them too. It’s perceived as broken by majority of people who try, which I’m not sure that’s a fixable problem.

You can’t unriddle what has been done by the internet. Women got way more access to all the men, and they’ll keep delaying long term relationships, marriage, and children and keep spinning a wheel until they get the man they really want.

mlo9109 · 2024-12-03T13:50:43+00:00

Filters for everything! Bring back the old OKCupid. Instead of wasting time swiping on hundreds of profiles, I want to be able to "shop" for what I want and get it. We should be able to filter based on age, sexuality (gay, straight, bi, etc.), relationship goals (marriage, hookup, poly, etc.), education, race/ethnicity (it's not racist to have preferences, especially re: cultural background), religion (specific faiths or none at all), and other important considerations.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-12-03T14:14:46+00:00

You can’t change a system built on a profit motive when it will always everything else after its number one priority: the profit.

You also don’t have to use it. Many aren’t anymore

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/aug/17/dating-apps-decline-bumble-tinder

DumbWordsmith · 2024-12-03T14:21:48+00:00

I guess you could make a site sort of like this one, where people interact in communities centered around various interests, but focus it on dating (with detailed profiles specifying height, weight, career, relationship goals, parental status, etc.) and include some video chat functionality.

Honestly, though, the same thing would happen: Women would get bombarded with countless messages that they'd have to sort through, and most of them would gravitate toward the dudes at the top until they eventually settle.

There's no fixing online dating for average young men. IMO they're better off socializing IRL and immersing themselves in their interests (while taking care of themselves); if they meet someone compatible organically, great.

Eastoss · 2024-12-03T14:50:15+00:00

We can't. Dating sites by design are striving and surviving off men not succeeding.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-12-03T13:43:56+00:00

$100 upfront, to filter out idiots and all sorts of people who just want fool around.
Your profile must pass special filter, so decent photo and filled profile is mandatory.
You have to actively use it or your account will be deleted, so don't waste your time.
Being creepy (like sending dickpics) is permanent ban.

aslfingerspell · 2024-12-03T14:22:31+00:00

Allow people to filter results by parameters. No more 1 by 1 swiping. Make it like online shopping and just show me how many people fit my parameters, then let me directly contact them. If I want a turn-based WW1 game, Steam allows me to filter by those tags and see exactly how many actually exist. Is this a thriving genre with hundreds of titles, or just 2 games from niche publishers?

The ability to endlessly swipe provides an illusion of infinite options, as we hope eventually someone with XYZ shows up. Yes, dating apps have filters, but they never allow you to see the full picture of how reasonable or unreasonable your expectations actually are. It's the difference between Steam saying "WW1 games get to the front of your queue" (if it worked like a dating app) and "Sorry, there are only 27 games with that tag."

If we could just see upfront that only 1 person in our area has XYZ, try to match, and fail, we'd know The Search is definitively over and either adjust our expectations to only have YZ or move on to other things in life.

badgersonice · 2024-12-03T15:32:34+00:00

You know, I kinda liked how OKCupid used to work. Their whole schtick originally was that they would have you answer a bunch of questions about your likes and dislikes (but also values, background, what’s important to you) to help match you with someone they calculated was compatible.

I was skeptical, but my husband and I matched at like 97% compatibility. I think they’ve dropped that framework since being consumed by matchgroup and becoming pointless-Tinder-copy-#5.

The other thing that I’ve heard can help is being on a pay-only app instead of the apps with a free version. It’s not because paying money means the app will be better, but rather because a pay-only site filters out some of the non-serious people who just want free delivery-cooch. You get a richer population of people who may be looking for a serious relationship.

wtknight · 2024-12-03T16:38:29+00:00

I have not been on OKCupid in a very long time, but they already tried this by having compatibility questions that everybody can answer and then showing how compatible that one is with others. But evidently, people think that this is too much of a hassle and only want to match on looks and maybe a quick profile read. Blame the people who want superficiality and convenience. It’s only when people stop using superficial matching that the dating sites are ever going to change anything.

hazelmay925 · 2024-12-03T16:56:06+00:00

Nice try, Bumble

Coolvolt · 2024-12-03T17:01:13+00:00

Eliminate the predatory tactics used to get people to pay

EG: the app giving your profile lots of visibility and matches at first, then later limiting your visibility in the stack which results in low likes/matches and incentivises users to buy boosts

pentatonicartichoke · 2024-12-03T14:01:15+00:00

Maybe cap the like allowance to 5 per day? And more filters on all sorts of things related to lifestyle, values and goals, to not waste time on obviously incompatible matches.

Free-Comfort6303 · 2024-12-03T13:42:38+00:00

To really fix it

A tag on each person. Basically, to have a relationship or whatever (FWB, casual, poly whatever), you tag a person with your tag now you are with them. Anyone who scans their tag gets their commitment status.
this prevents people from stringing alone dozens of guys or girls
I know one BPD chick in Cardiff (her name starts with J and she's polish origin). She tells sob stories to men, works as bartender and has 10s of men paying her for stuff and she pretends to be in relationship with all of them. There are many women like this
This will be helpful to some women as well who want commitment.

This way any guy or girl who is not willing to Tag with another person - we can simply not trust him/her and move on to the one with commitment free Tags.

It should be legally required to get into any kind of short term or long term relationship with someone.

This solves all Chads and Manipulative women from exploiting all naive/innocent women/men.

TopExpert5455 · 2024-12-03T14:13:12+00:00

Maximum of 3-5 matches at a time. After that you will no longer be presented to people who swipe / browse profiles. You want another match? Unmatch with an existing one first.
Allow more filters than just age and gender.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-12-03T17:12:55+00:00

You can’t improve dating sites because the problem isn’t the sites, it’s the ppl on the sites. Improve the ppl and everything else will fall into place.

SessionCool8065 · 2024-12-03T17:13:48+00:00

Limit matches. Max 3 at a time. If you reach 3 your profile gets hidden until you unmatch someone. This would get rid of the match collectors and incentivize you to speak to your matches.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-12-03T19:08:18+00:00

Limit the number of matches people get.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-12-03T20:31:35+00:00

Go back to 2016 OKC, apply your preferences to the filters, then sort by match % and ignore every dude under like 90%. The swipe shit ruined everything.

ConstantCode8637 · 2024-12-03T20:40:27+00:00

I'm honestly hoping the online dating sites become obsolete, motivating people to gravitate to 3rd places, and consider cold approaching again, like how people in the 70s and 80s did. I'm hoping speed dating, and singles mixer events become more popularized.

Online dating isn't meant to work. The creators want your money, and they want you to keep coming back because it's a business to them.

sabrynekrystal1992 · 2024-12-03T21:02:04+00:00

If more people begin to want serious dating and relationships from dating sites rather than just casual sex and good bye, online dating will improve

AreOut · 2024-12-03T21:20:52+00:00

users should anonymously rate each other based on pictures and biography and there should be top 10, top 10-20, top20-30% brackets etc. so people would date only from their bracket (it would be unvisible which bracket you are) which would stop delulu people from trying to date way above their SMV, at least on that site

SpiritedAd4051 · 2024-12-03T21:30:28+00:00

For 95% of men the low match rate facilitates low effort. Consider tinder. A 70th percentile man might match with 1 out of every 300 women he swipes right on. Of those, perhaps 1 in 10 or less will even read the initial message. Of those that read, maybe 1/4 reply. Of those that reply, maybe 1/10 lead to a conversation. Out of those conversations, maybe 1/4 agree to a date. Of those that agree to a date, 1/4 show up. Of those that show up, you might sleep with or date 10%.

If you put any level of effort into it it quickly becomes a full-time job

Livid-Log7463 · 2024-12-03T16:30:19+00:00

I don’t think it’s possible to improve them as the problem with them is that they give women too much/too widespread access which can only result in much higher standards therefore much more men left out.

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2024-12-03T14:28:10+00:00

Best way to improve dating sites, get an AI to objectively rate everyone’s looks from a 3-9 scale. Looks would be based on face, body fat and height. An overall score then derived with the majority falling into the average range, similar to a normal distribution.

Then you should only be shown matches either at your overall level or +-1pt. This will give women an accurate view of their physical attraction which has become distorted due to social media gasing/simping.

This approach would result in the most relationships and would end the situationship scenarios where women get played by guys way out of their league. Average guys would meet average girls etc.

Finally, I would ensure as reasonably as possible an equal number of male & female users.

John_Oakman · 2024-12-03T13:29:41+00:00

Allow community voting to have accounts banned. In theory this will force people to care about their reputations, in practice this will exacerbate existing problems while giving the illusion of cleaning up the trash. Either way things look better, and that's really what matters in the end.

gutenshmeis · 2024-12-03T15:27:04+00:00

It's a roladex of tits for hot guys. That's all OLD is and will ever be.

Men have no problem using and being used for sex, and there is no downside for a guy with high sex appeal to build a harem of all different flavors of women. This has been happening for thousands of years already; OLD just makes it easier.

KamuiObito · 2024-12-03T17:53:28+00:00

Stoping women from trying to date the aame 6 men they all get rotated by. Yall grandmother went through this aswell without tinder. Women are just repeating behaviors regardless. They are very npc like. They dont really choose what they do, just abide to urges.

RoseyButterflies · 2024-12-03T14:31:46+00:00

In my opinion the best one to find a relstionship as a woman is plenty of fish. I didn't even use tinder. If I was single I'd use plenty of fish and tinder.

My strategy was reply to every man that I'm attracted to. Then to only meet the ones who kept talking for weeks or months.

Men have a raw deal on dating sites and my advice to them would be to use as many dating apps as you can and message as many women as you can. Swipe yes for as many as you can each day.

zoxzoxzo · 2024-12-03T17:13:07+00:00

How Can We Improve Dating Sites?

It's one of those things we can't "improve". It's just how things are

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Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-12-03T15:14:02+00:00

OkCupid? Is this a post from the year 2000?

Anyway, in answer to your question, you can’t; if dating sites actually did what the claimed, then people would stop using them and they’d go out of business; they actually work the way they are intended in that they keep you coming back and locked in a perpetual cycle of futile hope

ta06012022 · 2024-12-03T15:58:07+00:00

Requiring ID verification universally would address the bot and fake profile issues that a lot of apps have. It might also discourage married users, etc. to some degree.

On the flip side, I’m not sure I would want to upload my ID to a dating app and I assume others feel the same way.

Jetpine9 · 2024-12-03T17:15:29+00:00

brainstromming: Make an open source one because the profit motive seems to always result in the app manipulating the user base. Or just include ads. I don't see why they don't just sell ads instead of trying to bleed the users for $$.

Make one text based first, and if you match based on interests and communication ability, then you can see the sweet sweet pics. Different levels of a profile can be shared depending on further matching. This will only appeal to a segment of the population, but it may appeal to them a lot. Maybe one size fits all isn't the way to go with dating apps.

Get a grant to get a team of scientists together to create a compatibility questionnaire. There can be two; one public facing and one private that the app uses to suggest possible compatibility between profiles. The reason for the private one is because people often answer public surveys with whatever they think makes them look good.

Make it so you can reshuffle a profile instead of having to "like" or "dislike" it. Most profiles don't give you enough to make a decision anyway. If that person wrote a good message, that could work, but they won't get a chance to if you swipe left on every "meh" profile.

Netheral · 2024-12-03T17:46:15+00:00

Without reading past the title:

End capitalist society, redesign it from the ground up with genuine intentions i.e. dating apps that are designed with the users' benefit in mind and not the investors' bottom line.

After reading the post:

Same as above, really. The problem is that the whole thing is game-ified and turned into a zero-sum competition that aims to keep users, and get them to spend, rather than actually help people connect.

With a game-ified experience, meta-analysis happens and produces certain tactics that people will follow because everything else just doesn't work within the system.

Until the capitalist drive for profit is removed from the inherent nature of these systems, these apps will always be detrimental to the users.

Even then, I think it's just a question of sheer scale. With this many people fighting for each others' attention, it's hard to not end up with people just reducing each other to numbers on a screen. Even removing the profit incentive, it'll be an uphill battle to make the logistics make sense. Barring something that magically matches people based on some perfect AI analysis of their profiles.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-12-03T17:55:05+00:00

Good question and I love the cooperative spirit of it.

I think certain things are unfixable. There will always be more men because they tend to be more thirsty. If any company is trying to maximize profits they will always be trying to collect as much money as possible from the bottom 80% of men, because that's who is desperate enough to pay. If the company becomes public the board will insist on wringing this group dry any way they can.

I think the only way to have a dating platform that sincerely wants to help everybody is something privately owned where the leadership really wants to fix this problem and facilitate connection for social good, maybe even a non-profit.

Until we have this I think it's a matter of using apps as smartly as possible and having reasonable (low) expectations going in.

If a man who has liked me hasn't put a lot of thought into his profile and asked me a deep question or shown he's read my profile in an intro message, the chances of me seeing his profile are slim, no matter how compatible we are.

You've identified something which I think is a great tool. OkCupid and Hinge allow you to send a message with your like for free. I think everybody should use this, but it might be particularly helpful for men trying to distinguish themselves in huge list of likes. From a woman's perspective she can just focus on the likes with messages and see if there is something that shows the kind of attention she's looking for. This cuts your list way down.

Then there are just nailing the basics. Obviously I think everybody should take great pictures, use Photofeeler to optimize, put together a thoughtful profile that shows your interests, and demonstrate some personality. These are not trivial things and take a lot of effort if you're starting at zero.

I also think men need to get to a near ideal body fat % and dress and groom well. I call out men because they tend to be further behind with the dressing and grooming part and they're the ones hurting for likes. I think men don't realize how important this stuff is or they have such despair that they don't put in effort to protect their ego when they fail.

Men are used to being judged on a lot of things in person - social skills, status, confidence, body language, income, etc. but on a platform that is solidly looks-first you simply have to look your best. Women are at least more attuned to this in general and have internalized that looks maxing gives them the best chances.

So... I guess the answer is I'm not sure the apps themselves are fixable. We just all need to play the game and adapt to maximize our chances. Apps are important and widely used enough that I think most people should use them as a tool to meet people but nobody should rely solely on them.

Goonerlouie · 2024-12-03T19:17:39+00:00

It’s hard because men just want to be front and center of a womans profile. Why should he put any effort into a bio or response to her if that’s going to waste time and make another dude pop up instead. It’s about being first right? Not about being the diamond in a pile of shit.

Now that could be the wrong mentality for men, but it generally works for them.

In the short term, really detailed filters could work for everyone without harming profits

shadowrangerfs · 2024-12-03T21:35:07+00:00

limit the number of people that you can message each week. Like only 2 per week. You can message those 2 people as much as you want. But only 2.

Women get fewer messages so they can respond to them all. It also encourages women to message men first.

Men can take their time and write better messages and they know they'll get a response since women aren't getting as many messages.

It forces people to be more picky and realistic.

The major flaw in this plan, is that a LOT of egos are gonna get bruised.

WillyDonDilly69 · 2024-12-03T22:10:48+00:00

There is a way to improve them and that's by making women algorithm change on how it works, like they don't get more elo based on how many matches they have but on how many conversation they interact with or keep them alive, and if they have to many untalked chats make it so it tanks their elo

Forsaken-Customer194 · 2024-12-03T22:44:55+00:00

I don’t think anything can be done. They’re designed to keep you single. Companies don’t benefit from their customers being successful.

Sharplove365 · 2024-12-03T22:46:53+00:00

Complete transparency on sexual history, and we'll be completely transparent on ours and also our earnings.

Happy days.

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-12-04T00:01:47+00:00

Get rid of swiping and make it match based like a computer matches you with someone. And make it so you can only have 1 match at a time. You start a profile answer questions and picking your interest and the computer puts similiarly interested people in your area as a match. It connects you to them and are encouraged to give it a try.

MachineMan718 · 2024-12-04T00:46:12+00:00

They’ll be improved when they are banned, along with all social media.

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HereToShowOff123 · 2024-12-04T04:14:21+00:00

I do not have time to wade through all these irrelevant profiles. If a man who has liked me hasn't put a lot of thought into his profile and asked me a deep question or shown he's read my profile in an intro message, the chances of me seeing his profile are slim, no matter how compatible we are. This is in nobody's best interests! In addition to wasting everyone involved's time, this is surely driving women off the site. There has to be a better way than this. In the meantime, if you are one of seemingly the vast majority of men who doesn't have a very well thought out profile, likes rather than messages women, or who sends generic messages, changing this could be a way of dramatically improving your dating experience.

It has nothing to do with how "well-thought out" their profiles are or what they send in their messages. The problem with the men you're talking about isn't that they're doing anything wrong. It's that they're looking wrong, i.e. physically unattractive.

There is no functional way to "improve" a dating site without introducing draconian regulatory measures to basically prevent women from matching with Chad. The sexual market is a perfect example of what happens in a completely unregulated free market: the wealthy (Chad) get absolutely everything and become even wealthier, while the poor (unattractive men) fight for scraps and often end up with nothing.

ExcelsiorState718 · 2024-12-04T05:37:20+00:00

they actually have some good dating sites their just p2p theres several now,Seeking is probably the best known but there's others a man can get as many dates as he can afford and women can get money.

Money is the great equalizer, a 5'5" guy that mops floors has no chance on traditional dating sites but if he offers $300 for a date this increases his odds immensely.

giveuporfindaway · 2024-12-04T07:51:45+00:00

There is no solution to dating sites, because dating sites magnify a problem that exists as a result of highly desirable men not being married off. Attractive assholes are doing asshole dating with impunity. This result would not change if it was in-person speed dating.

G4M35 · 2024-12-04T12:33:22+00:00

The tool (dating sites) are not the "problem". People are.

And we can't fix the people, we are who we are.

The major issue that I see is unreasonable expectations: people swipe left on people who swipe right on them, and swipe right on people who swipe left on them.

Gilmoregirlin · 2024-12-04T14:11:40+00:00

I think you hit on something I have said a lot before. Men are screwing each other by swiping on every single profile without actually looking to see if that woman is looking for them or not. Which leaves women wading through 100s and 100s of profiles when 90% of them do not even come close to meeting her must have criteria. But they won't.

Intelligent-Insight · 2024-12-04T21:04:30+00:00

Ahahha we can't. They are a symptom, not a problem. If we want people to pair up more efficiently we need to either a) encourage that by rewarding couples or b) punish bad choices severely. That way a woman will try to play the game of finding a match that will last and not risk going for someone hot who likely won't commit.

Think about this: you got 450 likes in one day. Men get 5-10 likes in 3 months and some of them are probably bots.

BlackRichard420 · 2024-12-04T22:16:09+00:00

You cant fix it.

Not enough women use dating apps. From my experience the women that do are obese, single moms, lots of tattoos etc. So the very few attractive women get tons of attention and men get none.

CherryPieAlibi · 2024-12-06T00:10:00+00:00

This is very true. The few times I used apps in the past, 80% of the men either didn’t have a bio, or it was so vague that there no point in swiping yes. Or they had no pics/terrible pics. And if you did match most are just looking for sex, and don’t even have tact when trying. I also had over 800 likes in the first couple days. I’ve heard tons of men say that they barely even look at the profiles they just swipe on every female. It’s just overall a lousy experience and I resolved to just meet people in person.

TimeFrame3980 · 2024-12-07T11:20:50+00:00

How Can We Improve Dating Sites?

Delete them. Globally.

Beneficial_Glove_111 · 2024-12-08T04:56:19+00:00

As dumb as it sounds, dating apps are just too incentivized by profit to be worth using. If you find a date you're a liability to the business model.

One of these dating apps should be bought out by the public sector. It's in the interest of the state that couples fall in love and make families so it just makes sense.

Specified_Owl · 2024-12-09T19:30:09+00:00

Take away the profit motive. If govts really want people to get together and raise kids in a stable household, which they do, because the pensions (social security) system is going to go bankrupt, then govts should not leave this to the private sector. The incentives private sector app makers face prevent the apps actually working. Relying on the innate sex drive of humans is not enough any more.

Equal_Connect · 2024-12-03T13:45:04+00:00

Instead of having the ability to swipe right on every single person you should have a limit of 1 every 24 hours that way people really have to be picky and really think deeply about the persons bio/interests. I think that would stop guys from just swiping on literally every girl when 99% of them are out of their league and women wont just pick chad every time.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-12-03T14:31:19+00:00

filters

Epictetus7 · 2024-12-03T22:14:02+00:00

my thoughts after years of the apps? haven’t touched the apps for the last year and do not intend to go back. i’d rather be alone then play the game, where 80% of profile are men, most of them super thirsty losers.

to repeat, personally, I have no intention of ever using dating apps again.

i couldn’t even read your post describing how to increase my profile attractiveness bc there is literally no point. if I find a girl message worthy, 50 other or 100 others have already messaged.

i also hate how entitled all women have become on these apps. including yourself “I don’t have time to go through these irrelevant profile”…..uh, who has time to make these profiles hoping for a like maybe leading to a conversation maybe leading to a number maybe leading to a date maybe leading to a kiss etc etc.

I would literally rather be doing anything else.

HazyMemory7 · 2024-12-04T23:29:23+00:00

They have to be not for profit
Eliminate ELO system entirely
Married people looking for a 3rd, or polygamous people = instant ban, not allowed on the platform
Hinge style where if someone likes you they show up in your feed, and you have to like them back to match or vice versa
Limit number of likes per day to limit spam swiping/liking

chocobolamo · 2024-12-07T14:14:21+00:00

I think they need to do video dates rather than IM chats. I think the DMs just aren't it - you really can't gauge someone based off their writing style. You can check for basic compatability but I found that when I became attractive it was just straight to coffee. So I think what would level the playing field is forced conversations in a more realistic setting. Perhaps this is very VR could come in, but that's a bit nerdy.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-12-03T14:15:38+00:00

I think the first thing would be to do a psychoanalysis. Like addressing attachment issues/last relationship/ emotional regulation/ trauma.A lot of unhealed and miserable people looking to make other people miserable. If you fail the psychoanalysis you can't make an account. And background checks as well so they are safe.

Next would be matches and presenting people with similar values. You like this thing. They like this thing. You do this on weekends they do this on weekends. So it encourages less on the app texting and more getting to know people in your interest groups.

Rating system that allows for full transparency. So if you flake or stand someone up on a date it's visible there. If you ghost you have a little ghost icon next to you. Your red flags become visible. It's something that can be more authentic experience and actually have authentic conversations based upon these dating mishaps.

It rates your photos. So using algorithms. It can say statistically people with a photo like this have 45% like success rate maybe consider using another? And so you can optimize what photos you upload that could lead to more match success rates based upon photo.

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-12-03T16:05:28+00:00

Letting me filter people by personality and interests.

Title	How Can We Improve Dating Sites?
Author	Sonia314
Upvotes	31
Comments	374
Date	December 3, 2024 10:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1h5khxb/how_can_we_improve_dating_sites/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-can-we-improve-dating-sites.1537441 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537441

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