Women say rejection is apart of life but I feel as if they don’t experience it enough to really understand how demoralizing it is.

Gloomy-Bad-5014 · 2025-10-24T12:36:40+00:00

In terms of Romance most women have no place to tell men about rejection. Men are expected to, and do make the first approach most of the time and may potentially experience over a hundred rejections in their life time.

It slowly chips away at your self esteem and your self worth, this combined with other life rejections only weighs down on you harder and harder. Feeling rejected and unwanted is very common for many men, and it's not an easy feeling to live with for some. That's why when some men choose to give up on dating, or decide they've had enough I never judge. I see some women making commentary on men who give up on dating, or approaching. And sometimes it makes me roll my eyes, 90% of women give up on approaching after two or three rejections. They have no place to tell men who have been rejected over a hundred times to get back on the horse.

And this might even go for some men as well, I'm specifically talking about the rare top 10% of men who are universally attractive. Because even though they may get rejected occasionally as well, they don't get the same in humane treatment as below average or ugly men do. Only average and ugly men know they feeling and only they have the right to judge each other

Bulky-Throat-3055 · 2025-10-24T16:57:28+00:00

Just look at how they say its no big deal which is what someone would say when they never had to deal with it.

WebNew9978 · 2025-10-24T16:05:21+00:00

They face rejection in other aspects of life but not so much on the romance side. They still face it with romance, just very little. Women truly have no idea what it’s like to have your romantic and sexual life be nothing but constant rejection over a long period of time

BP_Ray · 2025-10-24T12:35:27+00:00

Women reject men they aren’t interested in before sex, men reject women they’re not interested in after sex.

Each wishes the other would do the opposite and both experience rejection.

ThanosSnapsSlimJims · 2025-10-24T16:01:25+00:00

Most women have literal thousands of men a second, not a minute begging for dates on the people farms like Tinder. They don't experience rejection.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-10-24T17:10:10+00:00

I think rejection is a pretty complex topic.

but it only takes them to get rejected once for them to never approach again or they would purposely lower their standards to not get rejected.

I think this statement alone demonstrates that women do understand how demoralizing it is. Else, why would they respond by avoiding it?

women have the passive role they dont have to experience rejection as much.

I think this is true enough, at least regarding what I'll call "active rejection." For what it's worth, I know many women who are very active in pursuing men or other women, and they tend to talk about rejection in much the same way men do. Though, none are as unsuccessful as chronically unsuccessful men.

However, when I hear women talk about rejection, they often describe "passive rejection": not being chosen, or even considered. She witness her friends getting dates, hookups, boyfriends, special treatment, etc; but she either isn't picked, or is consistently picked last. That's gotta be pretty demoralizing too.

I think most of the women who tell men to just get over their fear of rejection are the ones who were never struggling in the first place. You'll hear the same advice from attractive men, for whom rejection, though experienced, is usually soon rewarded with acceptance.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-10-24T13:51:23+00:00

Yeah I know mate, this pressure us men have is really hard. Fortunately, if you stop caring, life become infinitely better

Just answer thoses questions for yourself:

Why do you want to be in a relationship?
Are there people pressuring you to find someone?
Are there people who say to you to "be a man"?
Are you taking the time to know yourself outside of the expectations of others

Of course, I am not saying it's easy but you can find some solutions

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-10-24T11:37:03+00:00

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UnarmedRespite · 2025-10-24T20:42:52+00:00

Women can’t even handle minor temporary rejections like “I don’t want to have sex right now”

socraticsnail · 2025-10-24T19:05:55+00:00

Unconventionally attractive woman here. I had to ask out lots of men (and women) in order to get my dating life going. The rejection stung every time. I’ve confessed my love and been rejected quite a few times. Shit suuuucked. That being said, if I gave up and waited for a guy to come to me, I would’ve never ended up with my partner. I’m glad I kept taking the lead because I ended up getting the exact life I want.

Indi_Cat123 · 2025-10-28T00:16:31+00:00

I have the ''privilege'' where I often get 'choosing signals' from a women where I THEN do the approaching, I don't and always hated the idea of cold approaching. I CBF with that shit.

All it takes to raise my success rate through the roof is a glance/stare that is longer than a second and I'm in if she interests me.

Ez

Lemon_gecko · 2025-10-24T11:39:17+00:00

Could be. Men's a women's experience is different and circumstances are different. Even if i would start to approach en masse i wouldn't face that much of a rejection because well i'm in demand.

So if you're saying that i as a woman can't understand you and your experience (which is fair) is it true for you also? Men can't understand women's experience and when we say it's not what they think they have to listen and not do this weird shit when they mock and say "oh, you have soo many options, how hard it is for you..."

wayna00 · 2025-10-24T11:57:07+00:00

I meannn... Rejection isn't exclusive to dating!

BP_Ray · 2025-10-24T11:49:03+00:00

Rejection sucks, but it is a part of life. EVERYONE has been rejected at some point, part of growing up and maturing is learning how to overcome and manage rejection.

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Apathetic-Onion · 2025-10-24T19:39:16+00:00

As I understand it, the male initiative gender role entails that men get more exposed to direct rejection. Unrequited feelings, I guess that can happen for both equally, but rejection, you can only be rejected if you try. Trying is good, I think that generally speaking you should give it a shot and be with the expectation that rejection is a possibility.

I've never talked to a woman about her experience with rejection, I'd love to know more about that. The closest I know is that when my mother was in university, she had a long term secret crush on a classmate and one day he noticed and, since they were friends, he said that sorry to break it, but he's gay and he prefers to tell her as early as possible in order to reduce the disappointment. Then after some time, when she was close to finishing university, she met my father.

ImpossibleCandy794 · 2025-10-24T21:36:31+00:00

One or to rejection are fine in a month, that is what they are used to.

I get 2 in half an hour, fifteen minutes at a big uni party

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-10-25T06:36:39+00:00

Both genders face sexual and commitment rejection, though the patterns differ greatly at scale, and thus so do the experiences.

I think this level of rejection is bad for both genders, which is part of the reason why almost all societies had various institutions, norms and other forms of mediation that mitigated this cumulative rejection trauma. What we have of these things in the modern West is almost all gone, and fading quickly.

DaveBrowns611 · 2025-10-26T07:38:00+00:00

The do mostly experience it but it's ually after the fact. Which does technically still count. No doubt that it isn't as difficult as approaching and facing it.

Fancy-Scallion-6682 · 2025-10-27T19:25:26+00:00

While I think you're right in that women at scale really don't know how this level of consistent rejection feels like, I think there's no choice for us men either. We will just have to have our ego shattered. But of course that kind of psychological damage turns men bitter. And so I don't take any complaints of women seriously about how their SOs don't love them enough or cheated on them etc. Women won't understand how the man feels, so they don't get to judge his actions.

ohheyaine · 2025-10-30T18:27:59+00:00

It's so obvious you're not a woman. You don't understand that not only do we get rejected in the dating world. We also get rejected on basis of gender for employment frequently. Passed over for promotions based on gender. ("Oh well, she's 30 she's going to want to have babies soon, let's promote Mike")

But trust me. As a woman, I'm old now but in my 20s I was very attractive. I had crushes on so many guys..I faced rejection 99% of the time I actually liked a guy. Guys I didn't want to ask me out? Constantly did anyway. My boundaries on this? Also rejected. I'd say "no, I just want to be friends" and they'd say ok and then completely ignore my boundaries and hit on me every other time they saw me. Sit me down and confess their love. I'd say no. They would reject my no. Say they knew I had to be the one for them.

So our interests? Also get rejected. But on top of that our job prospects AND our boundaries are constantly rejected.

ContentTraveler · 2025-11-21T20:43:19+00:00

Do.. Do you think women never get rejected? We say it’s just a part of life because it simply is. We’ve all faced rejection from somebody at some point in time. It sucks, it’s embarrassing and upsetting, but it happens and it’s so important to learn to be secure enough in yourself that it doesn’t bother you. You’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay! To someone somewhere, you’re their ideal human being. Just take it as a sign she’s not the one for you and move on.

Advanced-Sample936 · 2025-11-24T11:30:33+00:00

we all know it's demoralizing, we all know it hurts. But would you rather be strung along just to get rejected later? Yes, it hurts to get rejected. Women have experienced rejection in other parts of life as well, we know what it feels like. Women have also been dumped before, been rejected for not being good looking enough, not the right woman etc. You do realize that whenever a person cheats on you, they're basically rejecting you, right? Rejection IS part of life because we don't always get what we want. We often don't get what we want. And since women don't owe you their time, body or emotions, what other solution is there but to reject you, despite how much we know it'll suck?

NelsonManswella · 2025-11-24T15:14:21+00:00

so many removed comments lmao good job OP 💪🏾

Sexy_Triceratops · 2025-10-25T04:34:11+00:00

Stop making assumptions about an entire gender. We know plenty well how it feels to be rejected, you're just too close minded to think anyone else besides you experiences it. Most of us are mature enough to take a hit and move on

Emergency-Sell-6713 · 2025-10-25T04:42:21+00:00

You don't care about rejection, you just care that people think your dick is awesome. I can insult you with all the names on the planet, and literally bully you everyday, but if I say your dick is awesome, you'll be a barking dog for me.

wtknight · 2025-10-24T12:21:33+00:00

Women don’t get hired for jobs and get rejected by colleges all the time too. Women also get excluded from female cliques, too. How could one think that women don’t know what rejection is like?

attendquoi · 2025-10-24T13:53:20+00:00

Oddly enough, I think this speaks to male privilege. You seem to think that rejection is something that only happens in dating. Have you never been rejected by a friend, family member, or a potential employer or education program?

alphamaker420 · 2025-10-24T12:36:55+00:00

Generalizations like this always feel silly to read. I've been rejected a bunch because I used to approach all the time. Actually the more I got rejected (for sex specifically), the less it bothered me. More "oh okay, maybe better luck next time" than internalizing it and taking it as a personal failure.

It used to hurt when someone didn't like me and still does on really bad days but I've found that the more you interact with people the more you realize how other people feel about you is their business. This is all just my personal experience though. It depends on the person and their circumstances how they react to rejection. It's really not a gendered thing.

I can see how years of getting rejected by everyone you approach can be crushing and demoralizing. Please stop with this "women don't understand what it's like to feel bad", it's really unrealistic and weird. We're literally humans too.

ThatBitchA · 2025-10-24T15:37:19+00:00

Women face rejection in dating. Women know how demoralizing rejection is.

Women aren't dwelling on the rejection the same way that men in this sub do.

yomel123 · 2025-10-24T18:41:21+00:00

Women get rejected while in the relationship which is way worse

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-10-24T13:59:10+00:00

thats nice that you dont "feel" that women experience rejection lol

anonymousppd123123 · 2025-10-24T13:42:47+00:00

have you ever applied for jobs?

calmyourcrabcakes · 2025-10-24T18:08:20+00:00

People may call me over dramatic but rejection does hurt especially being the person that’s expected to court, to have their life together to stay calm under pressure.

The truth is rejection wouldn't be so devastating for men if they did a better job of fostering other relationships and resources for themselves.

Too many men make use potential gf's as their sole source of validation, so of course it's going to be more painful when they can't find one or it doesn't work out.

GKilat · 2025-10-24T16:36:50+00:00

It's the different mindset of men and women that makes men experience rejection more often. Men felt pressured to have a relationship with women or else they are failures in life. The end result is countless rejections all because they take the chance one of those women would say yes to them. On the opposite end, women aren't nearly as pressured although that is starting to change as men tries to pressure them to be married or die as an old cat lady.

So in the end, it's about men giving in to pressure from other men saying they should be in a relationship that leads to more rejection. You would feel less rejected if you allow women to initiate and not pressured to do it yourself. I don't really understand why most men do not defy expectations that are making them miserable and just obediently follow it.

themoderation · 2025-10-24T18:44:30+00:00

I mean…lesbians do. Most of them don’t resort to resent women when they don’t have success. I’ve been rejected plenty. You shrug and move on. That’s part of dating.

anewleaf1234 · 2025-10-24T19:07:29+00:00

Rejection a natural part of dating.

If you can't handle that than you aren't ready to date. You can do everything right and still be rejected.

Learn from what you can and move on.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-10-24T15:16:32+00:00

I find male sexuality pretty demoralizing so I don’t feel too bad

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2025-10-24T18:40:08+00:00

I love posts like these because I get to remind the whining men that I asked my husband out twice and was rejected before we eventually did start dating a few months later. Also asked out plenty of guys in middle and high school and was rejected each time. 🤷‍♀️

hearyoume14 · 2025-10-24T17:40:05+00:00

Some of us have asked guys out. I was told I have a shitty personality. I don't break mirrors, and I'm less fat but still fat, so I'm not exactly someone men are clamoring to ask out. I think some guys take the experience of the top and upper-middle women and assume that the rest of us have that experience. I honestly don't think that standard of guys asking women out is going to change anytime soon.

SauceyQ0369 · 2025-10-24T20:58:26+00:00

Don’t get a job in sales if you can’t handle rejection lol that’s for sure.

Rejection is a part of life and it happens in more than just dating. Of course there’s some folks who have experienced more of it than others but it is still a part of life.

It’s your choice if you decide to avoid dating, sales jobs, performing, karaoke contests, or various other ways you could possibly be rejected. Or you can spend time working on your mentality around it so it doesn’t cause so much distress.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-10-24T19:10:47+00:00

Romantic rejection isn’t the only kind of rejection. Women face plenty of rejection

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-10-24T16:28:27+00:00

Rejection IS a part of life. It also sucks. Both are true. One statement does not invalidate the other.

Title	Women say rejection is apart of life but I feel as if they don’t experience it enough to really understand how demoralizing it is.
Author	Sufficient_Low6728
Upvotes	219
Comments	420
Date	October 23, 2025 11:53 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1oej2f1/women_say_rejection_is_apart_of_life_but_i_feel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-say-rejection-is-apart-of-life-but-i-feel-as.1564873 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564873

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