Women clown on lonely men for turning to porn, but are also hostile to the idea of men going out and approaching them

Large_Evidence_5950 · 2025-12-05T17:14:40+00:00

Why does porn get associated with lonely men? OF's number 1 customer is married men, easily Googled

TrabTrueMat · 2025-12-05T11:41:26+00:00

Women want to be approached by the right guys and not be bothered by the wrong guys. As a man, you basically cannot do anything with that, if you're afraid of upsetting women by approaching them.

CelicnisGhost · 2025-12-05T11:40:52+00:00

Welcome to the world of women. They don't play fair. Enjoy your stay.

cb8585b · 2025-12-05T10:21:15+00:00

I think you’d find peace if you come to the understanding that women in real life are not invested in whether you have sex or not.

So long as the outlets you choose for your sexual gratification don’t harm yourself or anybody/ lead to feelings of entitlement to access to other peoples bodies then have at it.

HahaHeyyyFuckYou · 2025-12-05T09:41:28+00:00

Pretty much all women love getting approached respectfully by men they think are attractive or that they’re interested in

PeriboiaSyndrome · 2025-12-05T09:37:14+00:00

I think most people turn to porn and ai bots because they’re extremely easy to use with little to no downsides if you use them like a normal person, engaging to get off like once or twice a week. Using them to cope with life struggles, like using ANYTHING to cope with struggles instead of working through them, is a genuine problem though yeah. But I’m highkey porn rotted myself so my position on sex, porn, and kink are significantly different than the average, and I’ll be the first to admit it.

As for the gist of your position; women are not a monolith. Some like being approached randomly, some prefer it in limited spaces like in bars and clubs, some like it exclusively on dating apps. You’re bound to offend some, at some point, but that’s kinda just how life is? You can’t go through life expecting to never upset someone, why even bother to live at that point, just chill in your house all day if that’s how you want to live. Or, go out, annoy people, and just live your life. It’s totally fine to offend some people lol.

LaFrescaTrumpeta · 2025-12-05T09:44:07+00:00

i thiiiink it’s possible that those are two generally different groups of people but odds are there’s some overlap, happy to acknowledge that’s contradictory and cruel. focus on what you think is healthy, i think people can strike a healthy balance with porn especially porn that doesn’t involve actors so i personally give 0 fucks about chat bot stuff. just try to maintain a healthy balance with it.

Blacktransjanny · 2025-12-05T16:18:11+00:00

Women just want to ensure there's always a healthy supply of thirsty chumps to pick up her messes if ever needed. Funny how the loudest proponents of banning porn are single mothers while young women with options are not worried about websites watering down her dating pool.

meteorness123 · 2025-12-05T09:40:54+00:00

Everybody turns to porn, vato.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2025-12-05T13:14:47+00:00

I think you're over-looking the fact most males begin consuming porn when they're like 10. Which is well before the age of dating and sex. They haven't failed at anything yet.

By the time they reach dating age, they've already deeply ingrained this damaging and harmful habit, worldview, and action.

It's not clear this doesn't impact their ability to date causing the failure, but there's some connections there. Then the failure doubles down on this habit.

But the habit didn't form because of female rejection. It formed from pretty natural curiosity and shock value finding the worst outlet possible.

waffleznstuff30 · 2025-12-05T13:58:54+00:00

I don't really care what a lonely man does with his own time and if he wants to approach women go for it? Good luck bro may the force be with you.

I think an issue with a lot of "lonely" men. Is they reject themselves before they get rejected. So they assume women will think the worst about them or think they are ugly what have you. And they focus so much on the outcome of approaching women? Instead of it being baby steps maybe you don't get a phone number/social exchange. But you approached and talked to a woman who didn't stare at you in disgust. You had a conversation? Sure didn't get interested but you talked to a woman who didn't bash you and shame you for talking to them in public.

Rejection is like a muscle you have to work out. And it's best to not internalize someone's lack of interest.

I think going into porn just reinforces this bizarre fantasy so many lonely men have about women that it makes them lose touch with the reality of women. Which only further reinforces their loneliness. And the self rejection furthers them into resenting women because they only have this fantasy curated by porn, Internet rage bait, and their own preconceived notions about women. That only furthers their loneliness and resentment. Women aren't people instead they are this commodity and external indicator of your worth. They set these crazy outcomes which are unachievable if you can barely approach let alone converse with a woman normally. That there has to be some sexual interest from a first time meeting! And if there's not you're ugly and chopped. It's a whole lot of pressure to put on yourself and a stranger none the less. They keep themselves stuck in this fantasy world. Where they are either mean shallow harlots only chasing chad who will reject you for falling short of Adonis, so porn is more comforting.

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kartu3 · 2025-12-05T20:17:21+00:00

There is nothing wrong with video porn.

Women also consume a lot of of porn, but tend to pick text versions.

Women oriented erotic books is a billion dollar industry.

Tylikcat · 2025-12-05T21:48:20+00:00

Women generally speaking want men to get to know them a bit in a fairly neutral context before they ask them out. This isn't rocket science.

rogeelein · 2025-12-06T08:41:27+00:00

it's tough because a lot of guys feel stuck between judgment for using porn and the pressure to approach women. both sides can be harsh, and it’s like there’s no easy answer. finding a balance that works for you is key, whether it's engaging with others or exploring personal outlets.

Magnetized_Fart · 2025-12-07T22:55:48+00:00

idc what people say. Porn is not a man's friend. If you're a dude reading this, stop using it. It will only warp your mind and get in the way of the real deal.

AfternoonTop5134 · 2025-12-08T03:00:36+00:00

That's the female brain for you.

Lysa_Bell · 2025-12-05T09:42:19+00:00

The issue with both of these comes down to entitlement. Men that use porn and approach strangers feel entitled to the woman's body. They feel entitled to be entertained and gratified with a woman's body. Both scenarios are negative experiences because you only engage to satisfy yourself.

Thats why a lot of women prefer to meet in a "warm" way. Via friends, acquaintances, hobbies... even something small as "hey! I saw you are wearing a t-shirt of this band. I also like that band...". ANYTHING but just pure objectification. I know a lot of men have issues grasping that concept but its so much easier if you first validate a woman as a human being with interests/passions before you objectify her for her looks.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2025-12-05T16:21:41+00:00

The men that are watching porn instead of approaching women are the exact men women don't want approaching them.

Hjelmert · 2025-12-05T18:56:55+00:00

Women are uncomfortable with their husbands and boyfriends watching porn, i doubt anyone cares that much what single guys do as long as they keep it private.

ChewedMyWayOutOfThat · 2025-12-05T19:42:22+00:00

Yes, that is fair. Women should stop clowning on lonely men for turning to porn and men should stop going out and approaching women and harassing them for casual sex. Men should be able to enjoy as much porn as they want without judgment and women should be allowed to enjoy a night out without men approaching them. Glad we agree.

If women don't want to stop clowning on lonely men for turning to porn, then they shouldn't be hostile at the fact that men are going to approach them in public. Women shouldn't complain about it. If some women are inconvenienced by a man trying to make conversation, then so be it. A man is allowed to shoot his shot. Is this what you are saying?

Personally, I don't think this deal is fair actually. Even if women did agree to stop clowning on lonely men, there are some men who are going to approach women regardless of social convention. The men who would listen are men who would never approach a woman in the first place. Women should continue to clown on lonely men for turning to porn and hostile to the idea of men going out and approaching them, because men will approach them regardless of what women agree to do.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-12-05T09:45:28+00:00

OMG, not everything is a conspiracy. And not everything is so simple.

PM_ME_CODE_CALCS · 2025-12-05T15:06:55+00:00

In my experience, attempting to date without addressing why women find you unattractive is a complete dead end. Women say things like 'Well you're just not my type, you should find a girl where your her type', but literally there is no girl where you her type.

So the point is you look inward. Start getting in shape. Start getting a clue about fashion. Start focusing on hygiene and grooming. That's all physical stuff.

On the social side, learn to get comfortable being out and talking to people. Learning to engage with someone by giving your full attention is a skill you can develop. Learn to compliment and share the spotlight with other people, constantly talking is a sign you find yourself way more interesting than others likely do.

Learn to dance. Learn to laugh at yourself.

I've met many of my sons friends who complain that it's 'so hard to meet girls' and their life is basically playing video games in a tee shirt and sweats they've worn for 3 days.

BrianMeen · 2025-12-06T07:24:14+00:00

I honestly think the notion that so many women are hostile to men approaching them is something only terminally online people think.. it just is not true in my experience - women like to be approached by men as long as the guy has social skills and doesn’t act like a weirdo .. I have talked to quite a few guys in their 20s and 30s and they have not faced hostility from women when they approached them in public .. a few were rejected but weren’t told to fuck off by the woman

btw im not claiming that there aren’t toxic women that are very rude to men that approach - these women do exist but they are a tiny %

that_gworl · 2025-12-05T14:18:08+00:00

Men are in a deadlock because they refuse to rise to the occasion. If you think you’re unattractive, then do what it takes to become attractive in the dating pool. Do what it takes to find confidence to approach and accept inevitable rejection because it happens to everyone in the dating pool. If you refuse, then your loneliness is self inflicted and there’s nothing wrong with being critical of that. Women are tired of somehow bearing the emotional labor of men’s shortcomings even outside of relationships. If you don’t like the criticism, be the exception. Or accept your fate.

lesliecarbone · 2025-12-05T10:30:24+00:00

Breaking News: Women dislike objectification.
And just ahead: The sky is blue.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-12-05T17:36:47+00:00

then a long streak of porn use to soothe the pain of this failure

Oh please. We don't need to generate complex psychological reasons for watching porn. It's porn!

but seem to be equally as hostile to the idea of men rejecting porn and going out approaching them

First, these are mutually exclusive. You can, in fact, reject porn and avoid approaching women.

Second, you describe these men as unattractive. No one wants someone they find unattractive approaching them, except maybe the very desperate or incredibly vain.

But mostly, I suspect a lot of these guys aren't as absolutely chopped as they think. They're just letting early failures go to their heads. You're talking about entering college: literal teenagers. Isn't the whole concept of college predicated on the belief that it's going to take 4+ years for these borderline kids to become competent at anything?

I personally don't have anything against porn and chatbots, if that's what you really want. And no one can stop you anyway. But if you want sex and relationships, any time you still have the modifier "young" preceding the noun "man," it's still too early in your career to call it quits.

2025-12-05T14:55:17+00:00

Actually……. We prefer that the guys you described stick with the porn and not approach us.

The guys we want approaching us don’t have issues getting women and probably aren’t that addicted to porn as they get women irl.

Conclusion: We want the guys who aren’t creepy freaks.

ThatBitchA · 2025-12-05T17:04:00+00:00

Cold approaching is dumb. Especially in college.

There's so many warm connections in college.

Just a club, start a club, socialize, etc.

I'll clown on lonely men who refuse to do anything other than cold approach, dating apps, and porn. Because it's clown behavior. 🤡

belongtomee · 2025-12-05T17:38:29+00:00

Women seem to clown on these men

Can you be more specific? Like what are women saying specifically, how many, where at, to whom?

OkOutlandishness6370 · 2025-12-05T19:47:23+00:00

Lol females be gooning too, you're overthinking it OP. No matter what you do in life, some group of people is out there complaining about you. If you let that bother you you'll dissolve into a puddle of anxiety and analysis paralysis.

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2025-12-05T14:38:51+00:00

“If going out and approaching them” is bothering women going about their day, you don’t understand how people actually meet and start a conversation.

MoodyMagicOwl · 2025-12-06T05:38:38+00:00

Just stay home and watch porn. Not once have I ever responded positively to a man cold approaching me. I don't want you guys anyway.

No_Project_4738 · 2025-12-06T07:30:20+00:00

Aren’t your college years supposed to be filled with events and parties and activities, creating your friend circle and studying/finding your major? Why are you worried about finding a relationship and turning to porn in absence of it? No one should clown you but damn, get a mentor, older man, dad, uncle, teacher who can knock some sense into you! Your college years can be one of the best times of your life. But not if you’re focusing on the things you don’t have and wallowing in self pity aka porn.

kmb218 · 2025-12-05T09:41:46+00:00

If you want to avoid bothering someone going about their date, date people through your social circle. Friends of friends etc.

Playful-Walk-754 · 2025-12-05T18:27:21+00:00

My thoughts at most of these male posts are basically along the line of, "Is there something wrong with you mentally? Who thinks like that?"

Any well adjusted person could see how most of these male posters are crazy. So crazy that it's not even worth debating

Title	Women clown on lonely men for turning to porn, but are also hostile to the idea of men going out and approaching them
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	179
Comments	302
Date	December 5, 2025 9:29 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1peqrxn/women_clown_on_lonely_men_for_turning_to_porn_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-clown-on-lonely-men-for-turning-to-porn-but.1568097 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568097

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