Weekly Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2021-02-01T21:00:21+00:00

This weekly thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc......

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https://blogs.worldbank.org/impactevaluations/are-women-really-happier-men-around-world-guest-post-mallory-montgomery

"To do so, I use data from the Gallup World Poll, which interviews people around the world asking them about the things that are important to them, including their life satisfaction, or happiness, overall. I analyze responses from about 46,000 people in 103 countries.

Women definitely say they are happier On average, when rating how satisfied they are with their present lives as a whole, women put themselves at 2.98 on a 1-5 scale, and men put themselves at a 2.95, for an overall gap of about 0.03. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s actually a big difference: its equivalent to the increase in life satisfaction that comes from moving up their country’s income distribution by about 5 percentage points. In the U.S, that’s equivalent to making $2,000 to $4,000 extra per year. When I control for other characteristics – country, income, employment status, marital status, education level, whether or not the person has health problems, and whether they live in an urban or a rural area – the gap more than doubles. That’s about the same as the increase in life satisfaction from moving up the income distribution by more than a decile, getting an extra $5,000 to $14,000 per year in the U.S."

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That's not what your source says tho:

The income levels were filled in according to the respondent’s country. On average, women rated all six vignettes higher than men did, by about 0.04 on average – similar to the gender gap in self-reports. In other words, for the same described life circumstances, women gave a higher life satisfaction response. That, in addition to the other evidence that women’s lives are not more satisfying, suggests that women have different reference points when answering the same life satisfaction question, and that perhaps they are not happier than men after all.

Once they’re using the same response scale, women aren’t happier than men
Once men’s and women’s self-reports are on the same scale, we can compare them directly. I find that the previous gap is reversed by about 150% – that is, women are actually less happy than men on average, and the true gap is about -0.015.

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[–]death_by_1000_cats3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Also, even from a healthcare POV it seems like we've been throwing the baby out with the bathwater for a long time. How many people will suffer untimely and preventable deaths due to cancer, heart attacks etc. because they couldn't get regular health screenings or "elective procedures"?

My dad had a hernia that was scheduled to be removed last March. That appointment was delayed due to covid restrictions and he ended up waiting until September. Fortunately he was fine but if it had ruptured during that time he would have died. How many people died of something like that during those months when those procedures were on hold? It's not like other health problems just went away while we were focusing on covid.

I am just not at all convinced that what we've been doing for the past year is good public health policy or that it's actually saving lives in the aggregate. And I say this as someone who lost one of my best friends to covid.

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]sublimemongrel5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I was very confused when I got the MyChart message telling me to schedule my first dose. I do not qualify under my states 1B criteria. I am a healthy 35 year old women with no preexisting conditions and I weigh 117 lbs atm.

I asked them and they said they are rolling it out to their patients. I had my kid in 2019 so I’m a patient of this hospital system. I don’t really know why I was eligible so soon but they said it wasn’t some clerical error so 🤷‍♀️.

I mean at this point I know far too many people who have gotten it and suffered severe injuries (or death) so I don’t think I’m that worked up about it for being excited to get the vaccine. Anything I can do to limit my exposure also helps protect my family. People have been getting Covid left and right lately I’m just very grateful I’m halfway there to being immune or whatever the proper clinical term is.

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We’re coming up on two full flu seasons now and had the comorbitity of the 2017/18 flu season been counted as this had it would have killed almost as many people on an annual basis, but you never heard about that.

Did you hear that the CDC estimated that as many as 100k people might have died from flu in the US in 2017/18 with significantly tighter co-morbidity classification?

Nah, probably not.

Have you done the math on the actual probabilistic death rates from Covid-19 by age cohort and compared that to data on other Corona viruses over the last 10 years?

Nah, probably not.

Do you understand anything at all about this vaccine?

Nah, probably not.

You’re just doing as you’ve been told to do.

Historically, blindly “following orders” tends to be the most reckless thing that populations do.

[–]sublimemongrel2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I know it’s irrelevant what specific age group is more effected when I’m not getting vaccinated just for “my age group” but for those outside it who could be effected.

You getting vaccinated will not make anyone else any safer, and may do just the opposite. It will, however, line the pockets of large drug companies shareholders and execs at some degree of taxpayer expense.

I also know you have some personal issue with this, for some unknown reason

Because I’ve done the math (statistical analysis of the epidemiological data) and I know that the response to Covid-19 is a hoax that is causing massive economic (and thus health and well being) harm to many to politically and economically profit a few.

Also, the world is a more dangerous place when citizenry doesn’t take the responsibility of critical evaluation of what they are being told and led to believe seriously.

[–]sublimemongrel2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You getting vaccinated will not make anyone else any safer, and may do just the opposite.

And yet every doctor or nurse I’ve talked to has said the opposite.

It will, however, line the pockets of large drug companies shareholders and execs at some degree of taxpayer expense.

Oh man if I could even explain the irony here behind conservatives worrying about drug company mishaps at the expense of taxpayers. Regardless, I make my living off drug companies. They’ll survive and be sued another day for whatever shitty product they bring that hurts people while they lie about it.

Because I’ve done the math (statistical analysis of the epidemiological data) and I know that the response to Covid-19 is a hoax that is causing massive economic (and thus health and well being) harm to many to politically and economically profit a few.

What does this have anything to do with me being excited to get a vaccine? Did I personally suppress the economy?

Also, the world is a more dangerous place when citizenry doesn’t take the responsibility of critical evaluation of what they are being told and led to believe seriously.

Yes how dare we do our own research that doesn’t comport with yours and actually says vaccinating is a good thing

[–]SeemedGood0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

And yet every doctor or nurse I’ve talked to has said the opposite.

Then you don’t talk to many doctors or nurses who understand the science or the epidemiology.

They’ll survive and be sued another day for whatever shitty product they bring that hurts people while they lie about it.

...in part because their risk from suits in this matter is subsidized by taxpayers.

What does this have anything to do with me being excited to get a vaccine? Did I personally suppress the economy?

Everyone who remains uncritical, buys into whatever they are being told, and reiterates the lies is helping to perpetuate both the hoax and the damage from it.

Yes how dare we do our own research that doesn’t comport with yours and actually says vaccinating is a good thing

But you didn’t actually do your own sound research. That’s the thing.

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Ok, you guys need to stop conflating “feminists” with “angry chicks talking online or amongst themselves”

You don't want to be called feminists, even when you parrot the feminists talking points. You don't want to be called BPs even what you parrot the BPs talking points. I can say 'women' but then it's a chorus of NAWALT. And then I can't address people personally because that is against the rules and gets you banned.

At this point we're just splitting hairs, pick a designation, I don't care what it is...

NiceGuys(TM) are bad because they set up covert contracts, and then unleash a tirade of anger at a girl if they think she broke the contract she didn’t even know she was in. “Creepy” doesn’t enter into it, anger issues do

No, nice guys are bad because they don't give women the tingles, the rest is post-hoc rationalization. I can find many nice guys who don't fulfill the criteria of 'unleash a tirade of anger at a girl if they think she broke the contract she didn’t even know she was in' and who are still denigrated/ignored while I can find a TON of assholes who do 'unleash a tirade of anger at a girl if they think she broke the contract she didn’t even know she was in' and they have a line up of girls waiting for their turn to get abused.

The reason why people don't buy the BP side is because all your excuses don't match what is seen IRL. They're just fantasies you conjure up to save face.

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Some woman on here was flaming mad that her bf left her and tried to come back. She said it was because he "thought he was chad"

So I said this heavily implies that she would agree with the black pill, since confidence is supposed to be a turn on, but SHE is suggesting it's only a turn on when chad does it.

Mods banned me for 3 days for incel content.

I'm new here so I don't really understand how it was incel content, nor did I understand why it would result in an immediate ban when it was an honesty mistake and I didn't even know saying someone else was implying black pill was incel content.

The response? That bans are at the mods discretion and they voted and all agreed me saying another user was implying black pill was true was incel content.

What the honest fuck is going on with the mods here? They always that heavy handed towards new users?

[–]SmurfESmurfersonVodka Trophy Wife[🍰] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurfersonVodka Trophy Wife[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

I honestly have no idea, I was just making a guess

I will say this in their defense - the incel issue has been a really thorny one. We had the chance to block/ban incels probably a year or two ago, but a longtime mod was very opposed to the idea. He thought at the time that incels could be saved, and basically tried to be Captain Save-An-Incel (he’s since baked off that stance, in all fairness)

So, the incels were tolerated for a long time. They got comfortable here. I’m not sure what happened behind the scenes with the mods, but they’ve been cracking down recently, and thank god. It seemed like we were going to become the new incels sub for awhile there

I get why they’re being so strict - they have to be, for consistency and to make sure that incels understand clearly that their black pill nonsense isn’t welcome

[–]Special-Armadillo-992 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurfersonVodka Trophy Wife[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Women can say “he shouldn’t have confidence because he’s not chad” but a guy saying “seems like you’re black pilled” is banned?

Again, I have no idea, I’m just making a guess here. It does read to me (if the exchange went down that way) that you were trying to advocate they look into black pill. As for why they didn’t engage in ModMail, that’s anyone’s guess

anti-male bias

There isn’t one. There is an anti-incel bias, thankfully, and Incels are male. Femcels and even FDSers don’t have the history of brigading, bad faith arguing, nihilistic whining, and everything else that makes them really fucking annoying

There are still ways to avoid the bias, though. Carkudo and Smoogs are both incels, and both contribute interesting points regularly. Lewis (sorry, man, I forget how to spell your new name) is one of PPD’s most controversial posters, but is pretty beloved here

There have been annoying female posters who were run out for basically acting like incels - [deleted] and Jammies/Jammerly come to mind

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Oh, so now you have a problem with the government being in people's bank accounts. How curious that you don't seem to have a problem with the already existing arm of the government that sticks its hands into people's (usually men's) bank accounts, extracts money, and gives it other people (usually women) while calling it alimony and/or child support. But you object to a theoretical system that would help ensure that the child support money is actually used to, you know, support the child(ren)? How very odd.

Anyway, you can throttle back the hypocritical Orwellian hand-wringing. Rather than more government jackboots, I would instead suggest introducing "child support accounts" with dedicated debit cards linked to them. Child support funds would go into these accounts, and the cards could only be used to purchase things like food, children's clothes, school supplies, shoes, toys, etc. Try to use the card to buy anything that isn't related to supporting the child, and it declines. Simple and easy.

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Yes! I just saw this and had SO many thoughts. Was going to write them but then I remembered I am a lazy motherfucker, but here are a few:

Tajōmaru, the bandit, the completely irresistible psycho-chad. He rapes ("rapes?") the Samuari's wife because "the wind blew." We the viewers understand perfectly that he is as personally responsible for the rape as he is for the wind blowing, as in not at all. He reflects male sexuality at it's most extreme - he is as helpless to it, as others are helpless to him. In fact, the Samurai is presented as more guilty than the bandit, for trusting the bandit and "allowing" the rape to happen. (Also Toshiro Mifune is a mega-hottie, even if the laughing is a bit much)
The Saumurai tells his wife that now that she has had sex with two men she should kill herself from the shame (even if one of those occasions was a rape). This is the logical, albeit extreme, rational conclusion of slut-shaming - that a woman's value is derivative of her sexual purity, and therefore the number of sexual partners she has had. To the man, a woman who has had sex with him is ruined and worthless if she has had sex with another. The circumstances are irrelevant, since her value is only from purity
And of course, was the wife raped? Or was she ravished? Does this just demonstrate that every woman secretly wishes to be raped by Chad, is she just manifesting her hypergamous nature? Or is she violently attacked, and then made to suffer the ramifications of that attack? How can she possibly navigate the situation in a way that does not call for her own suicide?

I really liked the movie, although the ending with the baby seemed out of place and unnecessary. And the priest was annoying. But the presentation of gender, truth, lies, not to mention beautiful cinematography. Would definitely recommend!

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Bill to require fathers to pay 50% of pregnancy costs advances through Utah House committee.

A biological father could be responsible to pay half of the out-of-pocket pregnancy costs for the woman carrying their unborn child under a new bill that passed a House committee on Wednesday.HB113, sponsored by Rep. Brady Brammer, would apply to a pregnant mother’s health insurance premiums and all medical costs related to the pregnancy from conception to birth, as part of an effort to increase “the responsibility for men in the bringing of life into the world.”“Oftentimes there’s this battle between pro-life and pro-choice where some of the pro-life positions really turn into a perception that it’s just anti-abortion,” Brammer, R-Highland, told the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday. “I kind of got sick of those things and I thought what could we do that’s really a pro-life thing? … and so that’s where this bill came from.”The bill wouldn’t require a father to pay for costs associated with an abortion received without his consent, unless the mother’s life was in danger or the pregnancy was the result of rape or incest.The proposal also stipulates that a father would not be on the hook for any pregnancy-related costs if paternity was in question — until he’s established as the father. Afterward, he could be required by a judge to pay his share of expenses as verified through receipts. That means that in most cases, the payment is unlikely to be collected in real time and would likely come after birth, Brammer said.Rep. Lowry Snow, R-St. George, said he was supportive of the proposal but worried it could be “pretty daunting” for some women to go through the court system in order to collect payment.“My heart goes out to these women who find themselves in this situation, who don’t have that support and help and have the expenses and maybe don’t have the ability to cover it and the thoughts of actually having to sue someone to collect it are daunting,” he said. “However, having said that, I think this is a really important step in the right direction.”

While Brammer said his bill wouldn’t solve the challenges women may face in the legal system, he noted that there are pro bono legal clinics, shelters and nonprofit groups that could help them through that process.The bill received an 8-1 vote on Wednesday with Rep. Brian King, D-Salt Lake City, as the lone dissenter.King said he thinks there needs to be a *\“greater level of cultural expectation and accountability and personal responsibility for males who are quick to spread their seed and not think they have to be responsible for the consequences.”*****\

But he worried that the bill could tie women financially to abusive partners and said he wanted to learn more about that issue before voting to advance it.The legislation “establishes not just the right of an unmarried mother to get 50% of the charges — it establishes the duty on the biological father to pay them,” King said. “And I worry that an unscrupulous and abusive male may say, ‘Hey, I have this duty. You can’t escape me. You may not want to collect it but I need to be tied to you in a way that you don’t want because I have to discharge my duty.’”Brammer said he doesn’t think it’s a “bad thing” for men to have a responsibility to pay half of the medical costs but said his bill wasn’t meant to allow them to use that duty to exert control over a mother. And he added that he doesn’t think a father would have standing through the court system to make such a claim.

What do you guys think of this? Should Men be forced to pay?

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The bill wouldn’t require a father to pay for costs associated with an abortion received without his consent

I'm not an expert on US law, but how does that work with Casey vs. Planned Parenthood that established that women don't have to inform spouses about abortion?

The proposal also stipulates that a father would not be on the hook for any pregnancy-related costs if paternity was in question — until he’s established as the father. Afterward, he could be required by a judge to pay his share of expenses as verified through receipts. That means that in most cases, the payment is unlikely to be collected in real time and would likely come after birth, Brammer said.Rep.

Somehow I don't think they will really care about testing for paternity and it will be just assumed that they believe woman's testimony about who the father is.

And by the way, I'm still waiting for men to have any abortion rights.

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My other comment:

For lots of people getting married is a two sided concept. From one hand, it gives legal security, from the other, it's a traditional way to confirm your intentions.

Plus, there are legal benefits as well. I'm gonna talk about Russia, because I live here. It's easier to take mortgage, depending on a field you can get some benefits from your partner's work, it's easier to get to know what is happening to your partner if they get hospitalized, you also will be the one making decisions for them if they're unconscious and doctors need a permission for a procedure, it's much easier to get visa for your partner if you get a job abroad, and, well, in case of death of one of you the other won't be left with nothing and will have the right of inheritance.

To put it short, the most important benefits of a legal marriage come usually in some critical situations when you do wish you were married. Like illnesses, death and more positive travelling abroad for long-term.

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Ok, here's a list, but it is specific to my husband. He is not "any" man, he's an individual human being who has his own values and preferences. He cares about many things in a partner you likely do not care about. Also, many of these things we mutually bring to each other, not something I alone bring to the relationship (like, we both bring sex, for example, it's not one-sided).

Obviously sex is import in a relationship. We like having sex with each other and are sexually compatible. It's important, although nowhere near enough on its own for him to want marriage.
I know men value looks. I am attractive enough to him-- tall and slender (except at the moment, because pregnant) with an hourglass figure, large boobs and big hips. I'm not particularly beautiful in the face, but not bad looking either. I care about my health and his, and make responsible heath decisions, which matters to him.
Mutual comfort, companionship, caring, affection, cuddling.
We tend to both plan dates, etc, when not in disease lockdown.
I am a bit more adventurous and outgoing than him and I drag him along to try new things. I've gotten him to try new foods, for example, and I'm a good companion for going out to new and different events, places, etc. Some he likes, some not, but I'm always up to try something new. This means I'm also always game to try what he wants to do, even if it's not my jam. I also drag him along for some social events and force him to be a little more social-- not that I'm a party type, but he likes that I maintain connected to other people.
My husband values marriage himself for stability and for children, and I share this value with him. Children have better outcomes in marriage. A woman who values marriage and family is important to him, and I bring that. I come from a good family that values family, also.
On that... the fact that I want to have children with him. He wants kids, and a child-free woman would be a deal breaker.
Similar values, which is valuable for marriage and for raising children. He is aware that a mother's values will be very important in child-rearing. In that sense, I bring the same values he does, but both parents being on the same page is important. We share sexual values (we both take sex seriously, have low-n, and never did casual sex); we share moral values (we both have similar religious backgrounds and ethical beliefs); we share educational values (both highly educated and strongly value education); we share financial values (both of us are relatively frugal and practical with money, and neither of us is particularly materialistic). These are all values that *I* will be able to help pass along to our children. It is important to him that the mother of his children help pass along our shared values.
I am very intelligent. Intelligence is partly heritable, and he wants smart children.
I am a genuinely nice person. While I think this is kind of lame and not noteworthy, it's something he's told me he likes about me. I do think this helps us be compatible-- I am agreeable and he is moderately disagreeable, so we kind of balance each other here.
I am caring and nurturing. He cares about this for himself and for kids.
I have high earning potential, and neither of us cares who earns more. I currently do. When he proposed, I made less; on date of marriage I made more. We both view finances as a team effort.
I am fun and interesting to talk with, and he likes talking with me about all sorts of topics, including his work (since I trained in an adjacent field). I make him laugh and also laugh at his jokes as well.
I like cooking, including healthy foods. This is valuable for his health and for the kids.

And before you say I'm just assuming he cares about some of these because I'm a woman, several of these you probably disagree with (and that men on this sub claim men don't care about)... are ones he's told me he does. For example, loads of men here say they don't care about a woman's degree, but he has told me my education level was valuable to him for marriage specifically, because he's seen that highly educated mothers are highly likely to get all their kids go to college, much more so than highly educated fathers. He isn't the kind of guy who was going to marry a pretty college or high-school dropout.

But again, the fact that many or most men do not care about most of what I bring doesn't really bother me.

[–]athrowaway2832223 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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Showing YOUR risk is an incredibly selfish way to look at the total risk.

Total risk is the aggregate of individual risks, which are insanely low with the exception of a very small percentage of of the population.

The vast majority of people who have died “from Covid-19” (and I use quotes there because the testing co-morbidity standards are BS compared to how we have measured Corona virus deaths in years prior to the hype) would likely have died in 12 months from other factors.

For example, my father died in 2017 “from the flu” after having been in hospice care for 6 months following complications from vascular dementia its associated strokes. He was classified as having died from “natural causes.” Had he died this year, he would have been classified as a Covid-19 death.

My wife and I know two people who have “died of Covid-19,” both parents or uncles of friends of ours who were over 80 and seriously ill and both shady co-morbidity cases which likely would have been classified as something else prior to the hype. In one case the elderly person was initially turned away from the hospital for necessary care due to Covid-19 restrictions and his condition worsened to the point where he needed critical care a few days later, was immediately put into the critical care area with Covid-19 patients (even though he tested negative), got Covid-19 and and died a couple of days later. In both cases they had to die alone in a strange place as family were not allowed to see them.

Bottom line the epidemiological statistics do not support the policies which have been instituted to the great detriment of billions.

[–]angels-fan4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Kaisha0013 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah when Covid first hit I ran the numbers, and did it again a few months ago. Both times the actual risk of death was only slightly higher than the common flu.

But somehow telling people to 'do the math themselves' is tantamount to 'you iz covid denier!!'...

Funny thing is, the vast majority of the deaths are from the lockdowns NOT from covid. If you track total deaths over the last year, versus previous years, you see a spike in deaths ONLY after the lockdowns are put in place, never before. And this is across every single country I looked at. Old people are dying, but mainly due to lack of services, restricted access to healthcare, isolation, etc... More people have died because of the lockdowns than due to the virus, and as the worlds governments continue to push these absurd agendas that destroy the economy, even more will die due to lack of basic services.

[–]angels-fan2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Kaisha0013 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm even willing to hear arguments that the lockdowns are worse than rampant spread.

Except that the lockdowns have little affect on the spread. There has been no valid data suggesting they are doing anything. I'm not suggesting people go out and lick toilet seats (in fact I'm not really suggesting anything other than people need to stop listening to the MSM and think for themselves); but we can have reasonable procedures in place that don't completely destroy society at the same time.

Worst of all anyone attempting to disagree with the populist stance is attacked as if they are flat earther's. This is far more scary, the degree to which people are fighting against discussion. We now have rampant censorship and massive reduction of personal freedoms and liberties. Millions died to give us these rights and freedoms on real battlefields, and we're pissing them away over a flu.

But, again, why are you only using death as the metric to determine how badly the virus affects people?

Because its the metric the MSM has been using to push their agenda. Because it's what people fear the most. Because it's easy to measure.

This has been debunked so many times.

No, in fact it has not.

I've gone over the math before, in detail. But people don't bother to read it, instead just saying 'I don't care the MSM told me so.'.

[–]angels-fan1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Kaisha0011 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That the expert epidemiologists (the "they" I'm referring to) all agree that the math shows this is magnitudes more deadly than the common flu.

I'm pointing out that they don't agree. Hence the 'which one's. You don't know. There are many pointing out that the MSM is wrong, they're just summarily ignored by the MSM.

Also fitting everything in a single post is not feasible, I was hoping you could narrow it down. So we'll go with a very simple example of issues with mortality rate:

But we want to calculate an accurate (at least as possible) estimation on the mortality rate of Corvid. So we start with what we know:

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/coronavirus-cases/

Right from the front page:

There are currently 104,245,956 confirmed cases and 2,258,685 deaths from the coronavirus COVID-19 outbreak as of February 02, 2021, 21:22 GMT.

2,258,685/104,245,956 = 2.1%. This is funny because we're already hitting issues with the chart right below, giving deaths at 3%. They have listed 78,310,726 as 'cases with outcomes', the other 26 million is listed as 'currently infected' but this number is WAY too high given how long the virus has been going. More likely its people who got it, felt otherwise fine, walked away, and no one bothered to update the data.

Why did I bother to point that out? Problem 1, no one is keeping remotely accurate data. But I digress, we'll use the 3% mortality rate.

Here's the thing though, we need to know how many people were infected, not merely how many infections were confirmed. To that end we can see here:

https://www.statnews.com/2020/07/21/cdc-study-actual-covid-19-cases/

Which gives us estimates between 6x and 24x. Pretty wide variation, we'll pick the mid-point (15x). So 2,258,685 / (78,310,726 x 15) = 0.19% mortality rate.

The flu hits in the 0.10% - 0.20% range (depends on where you look). So depending on which numbers you want to pick COVID-19 can be nearly identical, or a bit higher.

On top of that if we use the 2.1% (which is a little closer to reality IMO) at 15x multiplier we have a 0.14% mortality risk. Almost dead identical to the flu.

There are many reports of people dying 'with' COVID-19 as opposed to dying because of it. So to get past the whole 'are they reporting things properly' issue we can look to overall deaths.

https://ourworldindata.org/excess-mortality-covid

This one is interesting. There are definitely spikes in deaths over and above what we have seen in previous years. But take a look at 'when' the spikes occur. In every case I've checked the spikes occur not when COVID first hit the country, but 1-2 months after lockdowns went in place.

The locksdowns aren't saving lives, they are killing off people due to the massive restriction of services. The spike in deaths is not due to COVID, it's due to those who are otherwise sick not getting the services they need.

This is also why COVID-19 death rates spike for the elderly but not. There's a thousand versions of this same data, so here's a pretty version that's easy to see:

https://i.insider.com/5e67b19a54f25c32e320ef33?width=1100&format=jpeg&auto=webp

Notice how children are almost immune to it, even young children. The normal fl u has more of a 'U' shape to it. The young and old are dying due to flu (I can't find a good graphic and atm don't have time to google it). This is because kiddies immune systems aren't fully developed and are quite susceptible to viruses. If the COVID-19 were the main cause of deaths (and not extenuating circumstances) you'd expected to see a similar 'U' shaped graph.

The reality is the lockdowns and other draconian measures are causing the vast majority of deaths, which are then being blamed on COVID-19, which in turn causes more draconian measures, and they cycle continues. Are people dying from COVID-19.... sure, but not nearly at the rate the MSM states.

And I'm not the only one saying this, many other experts have, they're just being ignored.

[–]angels-fan1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Kaisha0011 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Quick question: do you think the hospitals filing up is being exaggerated by the msm as well? I know Smurfs dad died because he couldn't get into a hospital. I know one other person who had a loved one die from an as anyurism because she couldn't get seen.

I think a lot of people who probably don't need to be in a hospital are going because they feel a bit sick and think they are dying. On top of that getting admission is much slower due to all the COVID screening/tests.

We know a surgeon who is bored out of his mind because they've canceled all his surgeries because of COVID, and it sounds more like an imbalanced/mismanagement than an actual surplus of people.

The nurses we know have said similar things. If you're working the front desk/ER/admissions its a complete zoo, but those working in other area's are bored since its pretty much dead.

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm even willing to hear arguments that the lockdowns are worse than rampant spread.

What do you think happens to the world’s poor people when you disappear 15% to 20% of global GDP from the world’s economy? Hint: The richest will just pay higher prices for necessities.

This has been debunked so many times.

Are we using the same co-morbidity standard for Covid-19 data as has been used for Corona virus deaths for the last 10 years?

Typically the standard deviation on CDC estimates of Corona virus related deaths is huge (25% of the estimate in 2017/2018). What is the standard deviation of the Covid -19 CDC estimates? How about the confidence interval? Are they publishing the data which allows one to analyze the statistical veracity of their top line reports (like they usually did for Corona virus related deaths in the past)?

What about the other strains of the Corona viruses that typically kill people every year (Flu)? How do those numbers look?

[–]Zippo-Cat2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]SeemedGood2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I didn’t posit my marriage as proof, just as a statement of fact.

I met my wife at a cocktail party, she got my number from mutual friends called me a few days later and asked me out despite having a fiancé (in temporary LDR). She wanted to have her first ONS and only ever casual sex with me and did on that first date.

She came back a week later to have a “short fling” before she settled down. While we were having a “fling” both of her housemates tried to creep on me. As soon as she felt secure I would commit she promptly executed a branch swing from her fiancé, long term boyfriend and only other n. While we were dating, another of her good friends asked her if we could have a threesome. After which point she stopped talking about our sex life to her friends.

Prior to her I could get laid fairly easily. I was ludicrously picky, and never had to develop game because women approached me frequently enough from the end of puberty on (that was actually not a good thing). When I was in high school one of my teachers who had just graduated from college rubbed my inner thigh and asked me back to her apartment.

Right now I get randomly hit on a fair amount, often very aggressively, sometimes by women who know that I am married. In the last three weeks I have been randomly kissed by a woman, had my ass grabbed, chest rubbed, and been told I was “seriously hawt” and “gorgeous” on two separate occasions, all entirely unsolicited - and I’m both old and short.

The tactic works.

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In your earlier posts about this you said it was your roommates cousin and that you had hung out with him before and you knew his face. I was interested in what was going on with you the other day so I had a look. Now why do you all of a sudden not know who he is or was? He was probably just lying down next to you because he wanted a place to sleep. Just chill the fuck out. That’s happened to me a bunch of times when I was younger and went to lots of house parties like that.

I will say that it is suspect that he got in bed with you versus finding a couch or sleeping on the floor given how histrionic young women are these days screaming rape for everything. You are university student they have free counseling at all universities. Some of those therapists are excellent. Get the free counseling. You are not OK obsessing over this. It will destroy you and it is literally nothing

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Has this place really only existed for 7 years? I feel like it has been here longer. I feel like I used to browse this forum in college and I graduated 7 years ago. Maybe I'm getting it confused with another TBP vs TRP community.

It's so odd. I remember browsing this forum when I was in school to take a break from studying. Then browsing this place as a working stiff to avoid doing actual work. In a few months I'll be in med school, and I get the feeling that I will ruin study times by coming here. Overall, TRP/PPD has had some positive influences in my life. I've completely discarded the women are wonderful effect that I went into college with. And my impetus for visiting /r/financialindependence and reaching CoastFIRE was due to the things I learned here/TRP (not in terms of finances, but in terms of how they could be screwed up).

Maybe one day I can become a OBGYN and practice my love with women all across this country.

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For lots of people getting married is a two sided concept. From one hand, it gives legal security, from the other, it's a traditional way to confirm your intentions.

Plus, there are legal benefits as well. I'm gonna talk about Russia, because I live here. It's easier to take mortgage, depending on a field you can get some benefits from your partner's work, it's easier to get to know what is happening to your partner if they get hospitalized, you also will be the one making decisions for them if they're unconscious and doctors need a permission for a procedure, it's much easier to get visa for your partner if you get a job abroad, and, well, in case of death of one of you the other won't be left with nothing and will have the right of inheritance.

To put it short, the most important benefits of a legal marriage come usually in some critical situations when you do wish you were married. Like illnesses, death and more positive travelling abroad for long-term.

It also protects partner's property. In Russia in case of a divorce it gets divided strictly 50/50 and only what was bought during the marriage.

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All black people are experts in moisturizers lest we be ashy, which is a big no-no in our community. I and everyone in my family use it daily, just like every black person I’ve ever known who’s old enough to have been teased for being ashy in grade school. In my family we use olive oil and Shea nut butter during the winter. Don’t know anyone black who uses lotion or oils with sunscreen every day though. Just you.

Are you literally trying to argue that black people don’t get skin cancer?

Never said any such thing, just that it’s very rare because we have evolved to have significant protection from sun damage (so much so that many of us have no need of sunscreen).

In North America most of us actually dont get enough sun, thus our high rates of vitamin D deficiency (as much as 75%). So you might wish to reconsider the sunscreen and get out into the sun more frequently, it’ll likely make you healthier.

No idea how many people in W Africa use sunscreen. Never asked anyone.

Likely because they would have laughed you off the continent.

[–]poppy_blu1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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The study to which they refer was done on white folk (during the summer no less), who on average only need between 10 and 30 minutes of sunlight a day to produce the requisite levels of vitamin D. So yeah, use of sunscreen is unlikely to affect them in that way.

As a dark skinned black woman, you need 3-5 hours of sunlight a day (every day) to make the requisite vitamin D (thus the reason black Americans are roughly 75% likely to be vitamin D deficient). So you using sunscreen any sunscreen at all is different than them using sunscreen.

As a result, dark-skinned people tend to require more UVB exposure than light-skinned people to generate the same amount of vitamin D.

That’s from your own link.

Poppy, you really should spend more time thinking things through before commenting. I know it’s not your style but it would be helpful.

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No, you should look at some n-counts study, people here don't believe them because, well, people lie. The same goes to reasons for divorce. It's just that people (both men and women) tend to believe in studies and stats that support their view on the world whether it's red, black or blue.

Thanks for the link. It seems that lower n-counts also are linked to higher chances for a happy marriage for men as well, that's something that lots of people don't agree with. These numbers are also even higher for men than for women.

Overall though, it says nothing about the reason. There is correlation, but it isn't necessary causation. It also notes that there might be some "genetic" reasons for it and I think we need to talk about it more. My guess is that there people who have higher n-counts often just aren't cut out for long exclusive monogamous relationships. So it's not that they got "spoiled" by having high n-counts, but that they initially had the same lower chances for happy marriages.

Also fitting into the category of married people with only 1 partner, I'd say that my husband and I mostly were just lucky. We met early and for some divine reason we clicked so hard that we've made this relationships work even though we're both not religions and weren't planning to get married early and overall weren't really family-oriented people.

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The divorce studies you’re referencing say nothing about liberal or conservative views

You need a study to tell you that people who have a lot of premarital sex have liberal views about premarital sex? Are you sure you should be so quick to insult the intelligence of others?

It says women with lots of pre marital partners divorce at higher rates than women with few pre marital partners. Full stop.

But wait. You just said it DOESN'T look at divorce rates, it looks at happiness. You did just say that, didn you?

the why is irrelevant?

Is it? Because it seems to me you think it's very relevant. You seem to be making a very strong argument about the reasons why.

And I quote:

will find that they are happier in marriage with a low n woman, because well, she won’t divorce him on a whim nor cheat on him, and the kid will be genetically his.

That was you, right?

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The thing is that there are many factors besides the passion for parenting that lead someone to become SAHPs.

Daycare in North America is generally expensive. Many mothers stay at home because their job barely covers daycare expenses.

In many affluent communities, having a homemaker is a symbol of status, so social standing is a huge factor in that kind of lifestyle.

For other women, staying home is the best alternative to being in a high-stress industry.

Notice that I said "mothers" and not "fathers" because most of the pressure to take this role falls on the woman. Most men who stay home do so because they can't find a job. This pressure can also make a woman choose the homemaker role even if she has no passion for it.

Some women take up the role because they have the drive, but others do it for economic and other reasons.

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Yes you did. She specifically mentioned conservatives, specifically US conservatives/Republicans and then claimed that's what the party and ideology allegedly stand for (here, let me post it here so it doesn't disappear down the memory hole)

Against higher pay wages, universal health care, don’t think non-binary people are actually non-binary, against lgbtq+, deniers of historical facts, straight up lies on history, racist, love’s capitalism, hates anything socialistic, trump supporters

You then chimed in with your hearty full throated agreement and basically called conservatives hateful racists. Here's what you said which I'll copy here so you don't try to hide it by deleting or editing it:

Hateful ideologies tend to attract miserable people who are lured in by the appeal of the victim mentality — not my fault my life sucks, if they’d stop giving “those people” all the bennies, I’d be doing so much better.”

Translation: "conservatives and Republicans are everything you said, OP - hateful."

That's exactly what you said.

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there were thousands of people throughout history all around the world who said the exact same things he said and they werent as morally bankrupt hell some of them are considered as deities and prophets

Who are you thinking of? I’m not familiar with the prophets/deities of most religions, but I can confidently say that prophets/deities for the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) did not prioritize individual liberty, and many (all?) of them talked more about afterlife than a right to life. And many religions glorify martyrs.

The right to life is something which was expressed long before Jefferson, but the idea that all people should have the right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness wasn’t common prior to the Enlightenment. And even then, they excluded many classes of people from this.

In moneys case its way different

Saying that money was the first one to have the idea that gender might be different from biological sexual presentation is absurd. He coined some of the terminology we use in English, but the idea of sex and gender not always being the same is much older and has independently cropped up in ancient and more recent societies around the world. You can see this with even the most basic Wikipedia perusal, here, let me link you: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender_history

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have more fast twitch muscle fibers

Generally true but also generally less important in most sports than skill and the overall muscle mass

generally stronger than their same size female counterparts

Because a man generally has significantly more muscle mass when he is the same height and weight as a woman

Gended is sex. If it wasn't, why do women get pressed when grans women try to use use female gender bathrooms?

Women usually don’t get pressed about femme-presenting trans women in bathrooms in practice. In general women are much less likely than men to be concerned about policies allowing trans women to use women’s restrooms and less likely than men to oppose these policies on the basis of thinking trans women should be kept out (women who oppose trans-inclusivity in bathrooms are more likely to oppose these policies on the basis that cis men might enter a women’s bathroom and claim to be trans women even though they aren’t rather than because they’re worried about the actual trans women).

And even if women were bothered by this, it would be evidence of social conditioning more than any innate proof about gender.

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Yes. When my husband and I moved to Austin from backwater bumfuck nowhere we were taken aback by the sort of casual, insidious, often well-meaning but voyeuristic racism we saw from coastal transplants. I'm white and he's hispanic, and where we're from that's such a common combo that it's not remarkable to anyone. We moved to Austin and I got a job where I was the only native Texan in the office and my coworkers were all from more urban/affluent backgrounds than mine. They were fascinated when they found out my husband was hispanic and asked me if it was hard being an interracial couple in Texas. I was like, "No? Literally no one cares at all?"

Obviously that kind of thing isn't harmful in any real way but it felt so strange knowing that race was a thing to these people in a way it just never has been for us, despite us coming from a supposedly more "racist" place. And it was funny to me that I had all these enlightened white liberal SJW coworkers but I, the conservative redneck, was the only one dating a POC.

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He claims most of it is genetics in his recent book Human Diversity.

I haven’t read this, but maybe the claim that most of the intelligence difference is due to genetics is part of why Murray isn’t respected in the scientific community now. Just because someone wrote it in a book doesn’t mean it’s true, and it’s very hard to claim that genetics is the primary cause of intelligence differences when it’s well-documented that adoption into a wealthy home tends to improve IQ by like 10 or 20 points and when average performance on IQ tests has improved significantly over the past century.

If IQ is the strongest predictor of income level

IQ is highly correlated with income. That doesn’t mean it’s a causal relationship or that the causal relationship is IQ -> income rather than the income -> IQ.

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What about the European jews who have median iq of 110

There are significant cultural differences and differences in the home environments of Jews in comparison to their gentile European neighbors.

The basic thesis of the bell curve is IQ is a better predictor of SES than SES of parents,or othet factors

They show a stronger correlation which is distinct from proving a causal relationship

can you link the studies that discredited the bell curve?

There have been a lot, so I’ll link you to a mega-video that sums up most of the major criticism of it (see the video’s description for the sources referenced, there are like twenty of them): https://youtu.be/UBc7qBS1Ujo

If you want a book, newer editions of The Mismeasure of Man have a chapter at the end to respond to The Bell Curve.

Tl;dr IQ is a poor measure of general intelligence, they used some really shoddy data and compared time periods and metrics that weren’t very comparable, and the book slapped together a lot of political theory which was really just opinion and not something either author had much expertise or knowledge about.

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My great grandfather was born a slave in 1862, my grandfather was born in 1901 in the Deep South and was a sharecropper when my father was born in 1937. My father picked cotton on his father’s share as a boy. Eventually my grandfather opened a store. My father went to school, stuck with it, and drove a cab to put himself through college and then grad school in Italy shortly after I was born, and eventually became a professor at a major university. He sent my siblings and I to some of the best private schools in the country and onto prestigious boarding schools and Ivy and mini Ivy colleges. I was recruited out of college to work for a major investment bank trading bonds in NYC and London. In two generations my family went from the poorest of the poor to living in the wealthiest zip code in the US earning a .1%er income.

Every one of my father’s many siblings and half siblings (mostly children of a sharecropper) who made good choices, worked hard, and sacrificed for their children saw their children rise into the middle class, upper middle class, and wealthy, and my father’s family was as black and poor as people come in the US. Those that made poor decisions, didn’t work hard, relied on government assistance, and didn’t make sacrifices for their children remained in poverty and so did their children.

That story is not possible most other places in the world.

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They very well attempted to be socialist and took steps towards it, e.g. by collectivization of agriculture (I don't want to get into this discussion). I really dislike the attempt to do the no-true-Scotsman fallacy on this anytime I hear about this topic, because every time it strays into fairy tale utopian idealization instead of raw result that you end up with. Were they "true" textbook socialist? Well, no, but you can never make it a reality. Just like "true" capitalism has never been tried in history but we have to manage with what is our makeshift capitalism and can rightfully put blame on the capitalism-oriented policies that we see right here and right now.

This is the problem I have with "denying history" and in my opinion it's the liberals who are more likely to warp and twist the facts to suit their views. I'm not saying that the right never puts some colors on the past, just that it's more pronounced on the left.

Whether US could use some more socialist policies in some sectors is an entirely different discussion.

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conservatives aren’t “against higher wages” because they generally disagree with the minimum wage hikes. They understand that increasing labor costs lead to many unintended consequences such as increased automation and downward pressure on employment and hiring. If market forces cause wages to go up, great. Government intervention to artificially increase wages causes more harm than good.

Universal healthcare isn’t affordable in the US. We can’t even afford our current healthcare obligations.

No one really gives a shit about lgbt+ people. It’s thought crime prosecution by Leftist Pharisees. Who cares what some Conservatives “believe”? As long as they don’t infringe on lgbt+ people’s rights, they can believe what they want. This is the foundation of any actual freedom- to believe what you want to.

And it strikes me the Left are the ones rewriting and re-examining history through the lowest resolution lens of oppression and race. Pretending that the vast majority of the human race weren’t slaves or oppressed throughout most of history is false. 99% of people throughout history lived lives basically as slaves.

The idea George Washington’s accomplishments is overshadowed by him owning slaves is simply modern Leftist self-congratulatory masturbation. It’s superficial analysis ignoring historical context.

[–]ijustwannabeagoat7 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

CMV:

So many relationship issues stem from the fact that: Women are very turned off by guys who don’t get girls and very turned on by guys who get lots of girls. Whether directly because of that or indirectly. And guys who get lots of girls have a certain personality whether directly or indirectly.

Nothing is more repulsive to a woman than a lonely virgin man. She will attach every negative trait to him. That man may be above average across every metric of hygiene, fitness, personality, values, passion, ambition, wealth, kindness etc. (everything she’s supposedly looking for) it wouldn’t matter.

I’m sure a cool ‘not like the other girls’ PPD women is going to explain how she’s incidentally only ever been with awkward, friendless, losers, which is great, but I’m speaking to the large majority here.

This is a problem for most men for obvious reasons. But it’s also the cause for a lot of women’s troubles because most women arent happy with their choice of partners (and it’s not because all men are trash). To be clear, I’m not angry or blaming women at all, if I was a women I probably would have been doing the exact same thing. I get how sexual attraction works.

I’m admittedly inexperienced, but it seems to me - and feel free to CMV - that the best relationship partners can be found if we sort of override our instincts and don’t go for the girl in a revealing outfit or the hot guy etc. unless that’s purely what you’re looking for in life. Being perpetually single as afforded me a lot of time to mull this over.

“No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted... and a cup of tea!”

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I can't really C your V.

This is why the best advice for most men starting out is: No girlfriends. Go out there and fuck some women. Go get plates. Have some one night stands. Have a few short termers with some girls you like well enough for a few months while keeping a couple in the rotation. When a girl starts hassling you, offload her and promote someone else in the rotation. You don't owe her anything, especially not another date and especially not explanations why you do something or will not do something. Don't even think about getting serious with anyone until you're at least 25 and it's probably better to get closer to 30.

The best relationship partners for men can be found after you get to know what women's base nature is, what they are like, how their brains, bodies, and emotions work, and after you've worked your way through 6 or 7 of them.

[–]hgjop5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Most of them likely just haven’t met a man to whom they are so attracted that they want o be sexually intimate with him solely for the sake of enjoying the sexual interaction with him.

I've met many really good looking men, who would have sex with me. I'm in college, and attractive young men are common (also, I don't care about money/status as much as the physical and behavior, I'm not attracted to the former, it's only a bonus).

But that grosses me out (because I personally would feel used, and I wouldn't even let the man I'm most attracted to on Earth just use and discard me) and makes me think of everything that could go wrong (STDs, unprotected pregnancies, pressure during the act, lack of pleasure). I don't want sex without an LTR, I want an emotional connection with a man I find attractive.

I don't think I'm the only woman on Earth that wants this-- nor do I think that there aren't men who want this as well. The men who want casual sex/someone who likes sex more than relationships should go for those women (there's plenty of women who like casual sex, and some would even do it with "low value" or unattractive men, just because they love sex).

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

But that grosses me out (because I personally would feel used, and I wouldn't even let the man I'm most attracted to on Earth just use and discard me)

The reason you would feel used is that you would not be engaging in the sex solely for the purposes of enjoying the sexual interaction with the man in question, but would instead be engaging in the sex because you sought some other utility from him in exchange for the sexual interaction. In other words by engaging in the sex you seek to use yourself to gain something other from the man than enjoyment of the sexual interaction. Which implies that you aren’t actually sexually attracted to the man but are merely potentially interested in being sexually intimate with him to get something else from him that you want. Plainly stated, you are attracted enough to him to prostitute yourself, but not enough that having the sexual interaction with him is satisfying in in and of itself - so you need something else from him in return.

And that’s exactly the type of relationship we should seek to avoid at all costs.

If we have options, it makes no sense to commit to a woman who would only be sexually intimate with us conditional on our provision of some other utility. Why would we want to wife a whore when we can wife women who actually want to jump our bones NSA because they are that sexually attracted to us?

I don't want sex without an LTR, I want an emotional connection with a man I find attractive

Sex outside of LTRs does not preclude emotional connection. I would go so far as to say that any good sex is based in an emotional connection. But I would caveat that by saying that an emotional connection neither consists of nor requires a committed ongoing exchange of utility. And I bet it’s the committed ongoing exchange of utility that’s really important to you, not the emotional connection.

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

because you sought some other utility from him in exchange for the sexual interaction.

If the utility is an LTR/marriage which is what I want most (which entails: cuddles, sex, emotional vulnerability, shared interests, and a future together for as long as possible, I'll sign the prenup or whatever precautions necessary-- it's NOT him being forced to pay for me or provide for me), then sure. I don't want to have sex just for having sex. I wouldn't do it for my partner, and that doesn't mean I'm not extremely attracted him, it just means I don't want to have sex with hot, charismatic near-strangers, even after one (1) date (maybe we can roleplay in an LTR, whatever).

Is he good in bed? Would he harm me? Why would the risks (broken condom, him slipping the condom off, idk, herpes) be worth it just for one night that may or may not progress? I literally don't know if I'd have fun. I can't cum just by looking at a face.

No thank you. It might be sexy to think about it for me, but when it comes down to it, I would chicken out and be way more than anxious. Besides, I feel like reserving sex to one person, who loves me or whatever.

And that’s exactly the type of relationship we should seek to avoid at all costs.

I don't think most guys, even fellow "high value men", vet like you ("she needs to have casual sex with me first, and then I consider her relationship material"), and I don't think it would help their case either.

Why would we want to wife a whore when we can wife women who actually want to jump our bones NSA because they are that sexually attracted to us?

You and I have different definitions of whores (I don't consider someone holding off on sex a whore, nor do I consider myself one because I wouldn't do that with anyone). I don't want to marry a promiscuous/sex (or porn) addicted man either (respect for those who are having casual sex, just not for me), preferably. I'd be a tad worried about disloyalty or the effects on his brain.

I would go so far as to say that any good sex is based in an emotional connection.

I definitely agree.

Personally, I find it impossible to form emotional connections with men who aren't my friends (for women, it's different though, I form emotional connections with them more easily). That's why if it were to come to it the natural progression for an LTR would be friendship --> relationship imo. A partner in fewer words to me: a cool ass best friend that I love, who is my top priority, that I have sex and watch movies and go out with.

it’s the committed ongoing exchange of utility that’s really important to you, not the emotional connection.

If the utility is love and someone who I can come home to, then again, sure!

edit: typo

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As a woman I understand why he is a little upset/disappointed, but I also think he should let it go. How much we like a man (attractiveness, love, appreciation) has not much to do with what we are willing to do with him sexually, it depends on what we like ourselves. I don't like giving bjs, no matter how much I love a man, but did it in the past because I thought I should try it and that it's kind of a necessary part of sex life. But I changed my mind about that, and the last men I dated never asked for it and didn't mind me not doing it. I also wouldn't feel entitled to a man going down on me if he did it with previous partners but doesn't want to do it anymore. The guy in that story took her as she is and wants to marry her with the sexual life they have. If it wouldn't be enough for him, he should have not asked her to marry him.

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[–]YoMamas_azzTheoretically5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago* (43 children) | Copy Link

Women are selectively selfish in spheres where they have the edge, and cry foul when they dont.

Women in the smp: "Why yes, of course I want what is best for me. Doesnt everyone? I have the power to get what I want and im going to get it, other people be damned".

Now lets apply this to other spheres.

Businessman: "Why yes, of course I want what is best for me. Doesnt everyone? Of course id pay my workers as little as possible to maximize profit. Everyone wants money, right? I just have the power to get what I want and im going to get it, other people be damned"

Person against immigration: "Why yes, of course I want what is best for me. Doesnt everyone? I dont care about poor people in other countries. America first. Other people be damned"

My point? Everyone is out to do what is in their best interest. And they'll throw their weight around when they have the opportunity to. Then theyll turn around and play the victim when you strike back.

Be ruthless. Do what is in your best interest. Be without mercy, because you wont be shown any when the shoe is on the other foot.

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[–]angels-fan2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Experience with women.

Women have a very high in-group bias and will support other women, but most women don't care about other men.

To be fair, most men don't care about other men.

It's called hypoagency vs hyperagency. Our society is gynocentric and we have bought into the lie that women are victims of everything around them and any ill that befalls a woman isn't REALLY her fault. It's the fault of external factors outside of her control. This is hypoagency.

Men, however, are assigned hyperagency. That no matter the situation, surely he did something to cause it and he should suffer the consequences of his actions.

Also male disposability. Women are given innate value just for being a woman. Men must earn value by being productive. That's why you see such visceral disdain for jobless men that "live in their moms basement" vs women that "Still live at home". Very few people have the same kind of disgust for a woman that isn't working as they do for a man.

I'm glad you care about all men. There are few of you out there that are truly about equality and not the bastardized feminist definition of equality, which is really female supremacy.

[–]Soon-to-be-Catlady3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It's called hypoagency vs hyperagency. Our society is gynocentric and we have bought into the lie that women are victims of everything around them and any ill that befalls a woman isn't REALLY her fault. It's the fault of external factors outside of her control. This is hypoagency.

Men, however, are assigned hyperagency. That no matter the situation, surely he did something to cause it and he should suffer the consequences of his actions.

Also male disposability. Women are given innate value just for being a woman. Men must earn value by being productive.

This is a lot of bullshit that I haven't seen proven to actually play any significant role in today's western society.

That's why you see such visceral disdain for jobless men that "live in their moms basement" vs women that "Still live at home".

Those are conservative weird people who are very stuck with old gender roles. Those are the same that look with disdain at women that are not married at 30 years old. They are not a majority in most western cultures and are dying out.

Remember that rude and entitled people are the loudest. You might see many women hating men, but they are far from being the majority. I also don't regard a subgroup of men (especially not PPD, god forbid) as representatives of their whole gender. Every human deserves to be treated with human decency and receive basic human rights, part of which is being treated equally. Equality between genders (as well as ethnicities and other groups) are still in development, but many good steps are taken and we can be part of smoothing out actual imbalances step by step.

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revealing attractive clothing that wont get you thrown out of public spaces is fashion, and involves effort to get ready for it, mainly waxing/shaving most of your body

It wouldn't matter if you did none of the waxing or shaving and for real shaving is barely any effort why do women always try to maximize what they do?

Men would still try and fuck a hot girl with hairy legs wearing a revealing potato sack. Men don't give a fuck about fashion just your body.

so men do think makeup looks good. they do flock to performative femininity. no woman wakes up with symmetrical curls and sparkly eyelids.

It's not the sparkly eyelids or the curls, generally it's the lipstick making their lips appear artificially full and the concealer hiding blemishes making it look like they have perfect skin.

But they would rather have a girl with perfect skin and full lips naturally 10 times out of 10.

i avoided the question bc i have specific height tastes that don't fit the majority of girls so I answered from the pov of the majority of girls. guys already do a plethora of things to look, and register as taller.

The question wasn't do guys do anything to look taller it was a specific question to you, and I believe you like tall guys like all women do, so you're real answer would have been more accurate.

i wouldn't mind a toupee, the technology in that stuff has evolved enough for them to be very realistic and stable and they're not going to fall off his head

So you'd just as much like a man with dentures instead of teeth, fake muscles sewn into his shirt, a toupee, and heels rather than a tall muscular man with perfect teeth and hair? That's honestly what you're saying?

That's a lie and you know it.

[–]_mwk2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

nah you cant be serious about the hairy thing lmao hairy legs and hairy armpits are truly the one male repellent after a fat body that I can think of.

also shaving your face is different from shaving your legs, genitals, arms and armpits??? it's not hard, it takes more time, it's a performative act of grooming

but you just agreed with me men do give a fuck about fashion, since sweats aren't attractive. if it has to a specific clothing, it's a fashion choice.

perfect skin is rarely natural and is also performative femininity. i get you that you want naturally flawless ideally but what im saying is that if naturally flawless isn't an option, what men flock to next is "fake" flawless, not "natural flawed".

well the thing is i don't like tall guys, i like guys specifically between 5'5 and 5'8, and that's why i generalised the answer

you've pushed it too far lol i would be fine with a toupee, extra heels in his shoes and even some natural looking make up on a guy, but fake muscles??? that's weird af, who even does that.

[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

nah you cant be serious about the hairy thing lmao hairy legs and hairy armpits are truly the one male repellent after a fat body that I can think of.

You think men would stop fucking if women stopped shaving?

also shaving your face is different from shaving your legs, genitals, arms and armpits??? it's not hard, it takes more time, it's a performative act of grooming

I've seen my girl shave her legs, doesn't take that long. She's native though so maybe it's different i know they don't have much hair to begin with

but you just agreed with me men do give a fuck about fashion, since sweats aren't attractive.

Sweats aren't unattractive, revealing clothes will get more attention, but men don't find modest women unattractive, their eyes are just drawn to skin or skin tight MORE.

if it has to a specific clothing, it's a fashion choice.

It's not specific, just more skin tight the better, the less the better. Again, it could be a potato sack as long as it wasn't a big potato sack and even if it were a big potato sack guys would not be turned off they would just go for the smaller potato sack FIRST.

perfect skin is rarely natural and is also performative femininity.

So perfect skin is feminine?

i get you that you want naturally flawless ideally but what im saying is that if naturally flawless isn't an option, what men flock to next is "fake" flawless, not "natural flawed".

So you're saying that men can be fooled therefore they prefer the trick? No.

you've pushed it too far lol

So have women! That's my point!

i would be fine with a toupee,

I don't believe you.

extra heels in his shoes and even some natural looking make up on a guy, but fake muscles??? that's weird af, who even does that.

So you do have a threshold for fake. Men do to. Women have crossed that line

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Or, if you wanna take on a system you need to be willing to take on the ENTIRE system.

Some people learned this during Gamergate, which I keep referring back to because it was essentially a trial run for an asymmetric campaign of information and funding against an establishment. But that was a trial run showing that provided someone was even vaguely establishment they could go to the media and government and do what they wanted, to no consequence except what their opponents were willing to give them.

The people new to this are about to discover a steep learning curve to the same lesson. Hedge Fund types are going to go on TV daily, as they have, and go to every elected official they can, and play as dirty as they can. They're going to play misinformation as they have been and they're going to use every dirty trick in the book.

The only way that Wall St. was ever going to feel this in any substantial was is if the pressure mounted, again and again, over a period of multiple years, by punishing overextended shorts and shady investments and working every angle, while accepting its not going to all work or be legitimate.

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I've seen several posts and tiktoks on this the past few days so I assume someone started a trend on the discussion.

Have you ever noticed that men seem to go for women who have no discernable personality?

Men seem to really hard pursue women who don't have any hobbies, interests, or skills. All the girls that had the personality of a wet dishcloth always had boyfriends. It's always the girls who's like a business/nursing major, scrolling instagram for 6+ hours a day, thinks liking coffee is a personality, monotone voice, the whole 9 yards.

But the thing is that those girls weren't actually usually nice or, as men whine about, "pleasant." Half the time they were aloof, kinda cold. Yet they got married way faster and had more guys than the "ray of sunshine" sweetheart personality type girls, or any other type really.

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This isn't a trend. It's literally the pink pill.

All the lip service on Reddit will never undermine the trends. For women, her appearance first and always. Its not that guys don't like nice personalities. A lot of them go for the hottest they can get then subsidize emotional needs with less attractive women. Depending on their own sexual capital, they then make decisions. Their life stage often influences if they did something smart or not. This is why as men grow older, they become more "open minded" about who they will humor for a real relationship. A lot of them will enjoy the best sex of their life with the less desirable but hilarious, fun women. Plenty of times by outright cheating but not always, and just blame their need for variety.

I don't understand the business/nursing major, scrolling IG, and liking coffee things. Is someone somehow more personable if they don't do these things? We let men galvanize gaming 10+ hours a day, craft beer, doing whatever they do.. who cares? Lol it is possible to develop personalities while enjoying ordinary, popular things.

Half the time they were aloof, kinda cold. Yet they got married way faster and had more guys than the "ray of sunshine" sweetheart personality type girls, or any other type really.

A lot of men usually age by the time they are willing to engage in the self reflection required to empower their own lives and make good choices. Then they just go with it.

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Chicken and egg. Same reasons people self separate by ses in social circles is the same reason they typically date within ses.

They’re not around waitresses? The chick at Supercuts? Close physical proximity =/= traveling in the same social circles.

Every engineering company I ever worked for had high school educated women working there. Cad operators and secretaries. Never met one who was married to an engineer. In fact never saw engineers even go to lunch with with the drafting pool.

study done by Business Insider and Becker's Hospital Review.

“Female physicians and surgeons are most likely to marry male or female physicians and surgeons. Male physicians and surgeons are most likely to marry female physicians and surgeons or male registered nurses.”

Do you think that’s because these people don’t work in close proximity to orderlies?

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Same reasons people self separate by ses in social circles is the same reason they typically date within ses

I don't believe it is. People separate into cohorts due to similar lifestyles. They then date among their cohort, because:

They’re not around waitresses? The chick at Supercuts?

Those are vastly different avenues of getting to know and date someone as opposed to people you work with or who are in your friend group. Vast majority of dudes don't have the game to pick up a random waitress while they're out at dinner.

Every engineering company I ever worked for had high school educated women working there

Lol wtf? Really? I don't think I've ever seen that tbh. There are a small number female engineers, but the blue collar techs are even more male dominated tbh.

In fact never saw engineers even go to lunch with with the drafting pool

Idk we live separate world's apparently. The engineers on my team hang out with the mechanics / A&Ps all the time.

Female physicians and surgeons are most likely to marry male or female physicians and surgeons. Male physicians and surgeons are most likely to marry female physicians and surgeons or male registered nurses.

This is about more than proximity, just being physically near someone doesn't provide any kind of convenient avenue for getting to know and then date them, in the way that working closely together does (like doctors would work together) and this is not to mention the specific medical field issue where doctors are like 10 years older than the nurses they work with.

Regardless, I know only three doctors personally and low and behold two of them are dating nurses long term lol

And seriously you've never seen a secretary date one of the higher level guys at a company???

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You don’t have secretaries? We had tons. I never typed my own specs, made my own copies or sent out my own formal correspondence for that matter. Send to the secretary for formatting. Reviewed, marked up and sent back. Piping and industrial Cad was more “design”, and more male dominated. In commercial consulting, where I worked, we had almost 50/50 men and women doing cad. Same when I did project management.

This is about more than proximity, just being physically near someone doesn't provide any kind of convenient avenue for getting to know and then date them, in the way that working closely together does (like doctors would work together)

Lol EXACTLY! It’s not physical proximity ...I know this is hard for you to believe, but most people form close friendships AND close relationships of all kinds, including romantic ones, around similar and shared experiences. A surgeon can spend all day physically surrounded by hs graduates, that doesn’t mean he is going to typically form many friendships with them They are not the people he talks with at lunch time. If one is hot, he might try to bang her, but he isn’t typically looking to spend his life with her or put a baby in her.

Yes, male doctors now mostly marry doctors, and many still date rns. Many grew up in similar ses status to rns. Nurses have BAs. They don’t marry the hs educated women who work as medical coders or cnas for the same reasons they don’t marry hot single moms working as waitresses. The same reason people sort along ses for friendships is the EXACT SAME REASON they sort along ses for romantic relationships.

Yes, there are men who will gladly marry a hot broad who doesn’t even speak English or have a single working brain cell. But they are not the norm. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but most men see their wives as more than something to have sex with. Some actually form romantic attachments based on shared values, interests, and experiences.

And seriously you've never seen a secretary date one of the higher level guys at a company???

I’ve never seen one MARRY one. I dated a guy high up at Exxon, headed a regional division, who “dated” a secretary from another division. He never would have married her in a million years.

People DO separate into cohorts due to similar lifestyles. You are right. What is similar about the lives of surgeons and waitresses?

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One thing I always thought was interesting is that whenever a male celebrity claims to be depressed or kills himself one of the first things a lot of guys come out and say is

“But he’s getting laid though. Dude is having threesomes, why would you be unhappy?”

As if not getting your dick sucked is the only reason a man can be unhappy lol. If you’re getting laid nothing else matters. With women it’s different. If Ariana Grande came out tomorrow and said “I’m depressed”, there would be women who shit on her I’m not denying that. But it would be based more off money, like omg your rich why you crying? It wouldn’t omg But your getting dick though, why you sad?

There are dudes who don’t get laid who claim if they just fixed that life would be peaches but I don’t think so, there would then be something else to be mad about. A lot of these guys have mediocre to terrible lives outside of having no dating success

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I'd rather have no risks 😅 I think men have it worse in some ways, and women have it worse in some ways. However, one of the worst things I have ever gone through is something that can never happen to a man and yeah, it would be lovely to not have that risk. Whereas all of the men's risks talked about on this sub are things that can happen to women too.

That said, I still don't think it's a competition. Men and women can have equally shitty lives and I don't necessarily think on balance one is worse off than the other. I probably would trade risks though - the kinda risks talked about on here are not ones that the men around me really experience. I don't know any guys that have been "divorce raped", the only person I've personally known who's been homeless is a woman, the guys I know are generally fairly successful in hooking up/dating or are married etc.

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This tweet reminded me of something I've always found interesting/funny about relationships.

It seems like there's a window at the beginning where you're getting to know each other and it's appropriate to ask something like this, or correct them about something. Once that window of time passes you just kind of have to live with it.

For example I have a name that has multiple acceptable pronunciations. A lot of people don't use my preferred pronunciation, but it's not really a big deal and I don't usually correct people unless they specifically ask. My husband says it the wrong way. Had I looked into a crystal ball the night we met and saw that I would marry him eventually, I might have corrected him so I wouldn't have to hear my name pronounced wrong for the rest of my life. But I didn't, and past a certain point it's just awkward to correct someone so here we are 9 years in and he's still saying my name wrong and probably will forever. It doesn't really bother me - I honestly don't notice it anymore and, like I said, like 50% of people say it the way he does anyway. But it's funny.

Or like how a while back he sat up and started stretching in bed and contorted his arm into some kind of inhuman position, and I was like "wtf did you do to your arm?!" He was like, "I'm double jointed, did you not know that?" It's weird how you can be with someone for such a long time and not know these pretty basic facts about them.

This makes me think that everyone should put together some kind of "Introduction to X Person" powerpoint that you pull out when the relationship becomes Facebook official (or however the kids are designating serious LTRs these days) so that these kinds of things don't happen.

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I’ve told this story before, but it’s an amazing example of this

There is a waiter in town, who works at a bunch of places I frequent. Great guy, super nice, always takes care of me (and I tip very generously). At some point about 8 or 9 years ago, he asked about my kids. Not if I had kids, just a random “how are the kids”

Me, not expecting to be seeing this guy once or twice a month for the next decade, decided to not correct him and just went with a generic “oh, they’re great” response

Well. A decade later, and I have made up an entire back story for these kids. There’s soccer camp, teachers, they have hobbies. He’s up to date on their virtual learning adventures

It’s. Too. Late. I’m stuck with this shit for life, there is no backing out. So I just double down every time I see him, and somehow add more layers to the story of my non-existent kids

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Yeah this is getting pretty deep, and I would argue that while Newton's particular brand of autism brought gravity under rigorous mathematical analysis and measurement, humans had an intuitive and roughly accurate understanding of gravity for thousands of years before him. The incredible engineering and architectural feats of the ancient world are evidence of this.

Right. The point I'm trying to make though is that it took the smartest people in the history of humanity to understand the laws of the universe. People don't need to be as smart to understand human behavior beyond what is relevant to themselves, and we've been doing that for as long as we've been able to interact with each other.

Similarly, humans have an intuitive understanding of each other and our behaviors, but we have lacked the mass of data to make rigorous, objective observations about our nature. The internet may provide the means to solve this problem.

Not sure, but it's not exactly "intuitive" so much as it is instinct and previous experience merging with empathy. Most social behaviors are learned, and if they're learned, then they can certainly be understood by the average monke brain.

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As someone with a passing interest in eastern front, here are some - let's call them interesting - takes on it:

Russian forces were pushed to the border because they were supposed to hop on German trains, travel to France, then take part in operation Sealion(amphibious attack on UK) The lynchpin of the argument was that Soviet soldiers were issued longjohns rather than their usual underwear.
Identifying the Czechoslovakian LT vz. 38 light tank, German designation "Panzerkampfwagen 38(t)", as a 38-tonne medium tank.
A "simple" argument that Red Army had to lose because, if you take the entirety of the length of the Soviet border, and divide it by number of divisions at the start of the war, then the frontage per division greatly exceeds what the field manual says it should be when defending.
A claim that Stalin pushed all of his forces to the border in order to deliberately lose them so that US could take pity on him and he could appeal for Lend-Lease.

All these were written by people called "historians", and were published in what is called "history books", some of which in hard cover. And this is just some small fragment of World War 2 which happened long ago, and not matters of human sexuality and psychology/sociology that most historians aren't even aware of or understand themselves.

I'm not sure you understand how history is done as a profession.

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Plenty of things are stylish.

And I get that for business sometimes I have to wear hand tailored white, pink, or blue shirts and grey or dark blue suits with monogrammed French cuffs a spread collar and a double Windsored Burberry or Hermès tie with custom shoes and show up in an S-class or 911 for certain meetings because it signals that I structure the kind of trades that make me enough money to be bespoke (and therefore will make my prospective partner/client even more money) but I’m not so inexperienced as to try to show that off by showing up in a Ferrari Superfast to try and BD everyone there (that I know my place).

That’s big in my industry.

And as stated above I know exactly why I do it, the precise impression it leaves, and what effect that impression is supposed to have.

It’s not about “making me feel better”, or “more confident.” Those are hollow words that are nothing more than weigh stations an the road to a specific objective.

What is your specific objective and how does your appearance help you get there? On which strings are you pulling?

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Most look way better (less like whores) when they don’t

LOL, that tells me you’ve never seen a natural blonde without mascara. Natural blonde eyelashes and eyebrows with light eyes are creepy - hair and skin and eyes and teeth all run together

So when you didn’t (or don’t) have a boyfriend it’s loungewear w/o makeup when you go out

It’s minimal makeup (see above + lipstick, at least pre-COVID masks) at all times for me, and always has been. And yes, when I go out, I do enjoy loungewear and always have. The one thing I do enjoy are heels, but at 5’2, that’s also a confidence/feel like an adult thing (also, they dress up stuff so even casual wear looks good)

My “dress up” stuff is like white jeans. Which are jeans, so comfy

As far as being single, I’m a serial monogamist. The last time I was truly, totally single was probably about 16 years ago

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

LOL, that tells me you’ve never seen a natural blonde without mascara.

The significant majority of women that I dated were natural blondes, and I preferred that they didn’t wear makeup.

Natural blonde eyelashes and eyebrows with light eyes...

My wife (though darkish blonde) who stopped wearing any makeup at all when she quit investment banking just over 20 years ago, and looks better for it.

It’s minimal makeup (see above + lipstick, at least pre-COVID masks) at all times for me, and always has been. And yes, when I go out, I do enjoy loungewear and always have. The one thing I do enjoy are heels, but at 5’2, that’s also a confidence/feel like an adult thing (also, they dress up stuff so even casual wear looks good)

Cool.

My “dress up” stuff is like white jeans. Which are jeans, so comfy

Emphasis added.

Serious late 1980s (maybe early 1990s) flashback!

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The definition of confidence:

a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own qualities.

Because order is more pleasing than disorder? Combed hair and cut hair is more orderly than ragged, matted hair? Smooth skin is more pleasant than rough skin? Ironed clothes are more orderly than wrinkled ones?

Are you seriously asking why clean ass smells better than dirty ass? I’m not going to catch any diseases if I don’t wash my ass everyday, but I still wash it. I’m not sure I’ve ever met ANYONE who likes the smell of a dirty ass, even their own.

Because without deliberate and intentional input of effort and energy, things tend to chaos. Order requires effort. A person who is well groomed has valued themselves enough to invest their energy and effort into being the best version of themselves.

Here’s a question back. Do you wash your ass? Why? Tell us the secret.

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Thought you would pick that one. And that’s a good one.

Personally, I used to wonder why some dudes had an affinity for that because I never did initially.

Then after spending about 6 months in London during which period the sun shined for maybe 5 days out of 180, and being very depressed by that I emerged from the tube at Liverpool Street headed to my office on a particularly dreary day and I saw a very fair woman with very blond hair walking down the street towards me and it fascinated me intensely (for the first time). I wanted her. I realized then that her appearance reminded me of the sun which I had been missing for so long and desired so much.

And on the flip side, having spent a month hiking through Francophone West Africa in the punishing sunlight, I craved finding dark cool spaces to get some relief from the intensity of the sun and heat, and the deep dark skin of Wolof women signaled that and was consequently so very attractive.

On a whole other (and deeper) level when sunshine is rare and you can go for months with very little of it, light skin and blond hair are a significant genetic advantage. My wife only needs 15 minutes of relatively weak sunlight a day to produce all the vitamin D she needs to remain healthy, whereas I need four hours of exposure to strong sun to do so. On the flip side, I can be outside in the punishing sunlight (almost) all day everyday and never have to worry about sunburn and eventually skin cancer, whereas my wife has to slather herself in protectant lest she become a leathery skinned, cancer ridden, old looking hag. As it turns out, our children have a perfect balance for the climate in which we live. Their skin tone is about that of northern Native Americans. Go figure.

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well nothing about blond hair is particularly healthful, fertile or somehow “ looking” dtf. In fact Scandinavian women reach menarche later and menopause earlier. They are actually fertile for a shorter window than other women.

So it’s natural for people to prefer how recessive genes look to others, but somehow strange to you that people like to see themselves clean and well groomed?

my wife has to slather herself in protectant lest she become a leathery skinned, cancer ridden, old looking hag.....???

Ohhh no....does she do this for herself, or just for the free drinks and material advantage she gets from looking acceptable to others? Would looking older have any affect on her confidence? Or does she want to look fertile, and dtf?

Does she have the same values as you? Wanting only to look acceptable to others to gain material advantage?

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[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Lol, I AM NOT AT ALL uncomfortable with my genetic draw.

I do prefer myself clean, orderly and smelling good. I find good grooming to be a discipline as satisfying and as pleasing to me as keeping a weed free garden, symmetric trimmed hedges, 5 acres of woods cleared of non native invasives and a tidy house.

As much as you find it odd that I brush my hair, clean my ass, apply moisturizer and makeup every day, precisely because I enjoy my genetic lottery (Yes, I do all those things even if no one sees it.), I find it odd that you would be perfectly happy smelling your own stank ass and wouldn’t expend the effort to wash it unless you would derive material gain from washing it.

Jordan Petersen might be on to something when he is telling people to make their beds and clean their rooms.....who knew in the civilized world you actually have to add clean your ass as well.

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This sub is so fun. Wasted too much time here in the past week and my 2nd semester just started so........ my attention span...... I need to grind.... bullet journaling.... schedules, routines....

--but anyways, what's fun about this sub is seeing the same few users and how varied their opinions are like, I noticed I am more likely to agree with the prolific female users here (not because of their gender), but I do agree with a lot of male opinions too. And there is never one user that I agree with even 60% of the time I see their comments or posts. It's more like I agree here or there, large bits or small pieces of their arguments, like in my head it's so close to the point, makes sense, but just a touch off. Or sometimes it's just vehement disagreement lmao. edit: just my own opinion though.

Also these Megathreads in particular are really interesting/fun. I wanna know what music everyone likes, but I doubt anyone will see this. If anyone does though, drop music recommendations... (please!)

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This was a price extracted, not a price paid. Paying a price presents it like there is a choice. These women had no ability to freely trade in their freedom for "protection."

Of course they did, and exercised it as well. Not all women married, many owned land, had titles, a few even became queens. Heck the most successful pirate ever to exist was a woman.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ching_Shih

Most chose not to because the reality was marrying up was easier/less risky than fighting your way to the top.

If you chose to get married, and you were in the upper class (ie. 1% of people) then you had obligations and duties, but so did the top 1% of men. If you were in the bottom 99%, then you could do whatever the fuck you wanted and no one gave a shit (hence why there were no laws written). You wanted a divorce, walk out your front door.

with no sexual autonomy and no ability to be self-reliant / economically independent) could avoid getting raped, abused and killed, probably, unless as an act of warfare

And if women were being raped due to warfare, then their men were already dead, strewn across the battlefield. Sorry, but dead is worse than raped.

You want to play the Oppression Olympics, men will always win.

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She is mentally and physically incapable of getting by on her own.

And a pregnant woman is physically incapable of working in a mine or charging a front line.

Notice the pattern. More freedom = more responsibility. Newborns have no freedom but no responsibility. Toddlers have more of both. Children a little more. Teens more still, etc...

Society was set up to protect and provide for women. And to receive that protection/provision women had to give up some autonomy. They could choose freedom, but that meant forgoing the protection/provision (and we see in history a few did). But protection/provision and freedom were always a trade-off, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

And hence we circle back to the OP:

The reason we bestow all those advantages on you, is precisely because you are our baby factories, and we care about you. Childbirth is complex, difficult, and dangerous thing. Many women die. Thank you for your service.

Woman chose the protection/provision option because life was hard and it was often necessary. As soon as technology allowed an easier life society changed to reflect that.

But women are not stupid there's no good reason to keep them from obtaining education other than sexism.

As soon as education became available to the masses women were allowed in.

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The best protection is having one's own resources, and not having to rely on others

This is true today, but don't you agree that there were other reasons in the past for women's second-class status besides innate blind misogyny in every man?

Life was hard, nature was unforgiving, and resources were scarce and difficult to extract from the environment. Men were better suited to this task, which is why bonding yourself to a man was the best protection at the time, regardless of the cost, because the alternative was often death.

There's a reason we evolved the way we did, and our social customs took the form they did.

This is not to say that the treatment of women in the past is a model to look up to, but too often feminists take the sins of our forefathers as a rhetorical cudgel, while ignoring the context that these norms came into being under.

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It depends on one's race it seems.

Choriocarcinoma is a very rare neoplasm with varied incidence worldwide.[3] In Europe and North America, about 1 in 40,000 pregnant patients and 1 in 40 patients with hydatidiform moles will develop choriocarcinoma.[3][5] In Southeast Asia and Japan, 9.2 in 40,000 pregnant women and 3.3 in 40 patients with hydatidiform moles will subsequently develop choriocarcinoma.[3] In China, 1 in 2882 pregnant women will develop choriocarcinoma.[5]

Choriocarcinoma can also occur in males, usually those between ages 20 to 30.[7] Less than 1% of testicular tumors are pure choriocarcinoma.[7][6] Mixed germ cell tumors occur much more frequently in the testicle, with choriocarcinoma as a component in 15% of these tumors.

And stats for testicular cancer:

The rate of new cases of testicular cancer was 5.9 per 100,000 men per year

So it's 1% of these 5.9 per 100000 men a year for pure choriocarcinoma and 15% for mixed types. It's still less than the risks for pregnant women.

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One of the craziest things I’ve heard on this sub since posting here(and that’s saying a lot lol) was this one time where a guy flamed me because of a scenario I talked about someone else asking me for advice on. They were like “oh if a girl invites her friends last minute in a date with you, it’s totally normal, it happens all the time and it’s not a red flag. You don’t know what you’re talking about”. I’m like what lol.

I’ve been on tons of dates in my life, never have women invited their friends as 3rd 4th and 5th wheels to the scenario. If they were to happen I would assume one or all of these 3 things.

1.)Shes scared of me and is bringing her friends there as witnesses or protection because she thinks I might harm her, if that’s the case I’m out cause I can’t date anyone who is afraid of me. It kills all the attraction.

2.)She doesn’t see this as a date, she sees it as a group hangout. Again, I’m cancelling Because that’s not what I want.

3.)I ain’t getting no action, this ties into number 2. If you tryna get dick, you’re not inviting your homegirls. We are not talking about going to the club with a group of girls as a “ladies night out” scenario, we are talking about going out to a restaurant for example with one dude. Unless you’re gonna tell me about the .001% chance of this turning into an orgy, I’m out.

When I ask a woman out, I’m Very VERY clear that this is a one on one solo romantic endeavor. I don’t mean to be vulgar, but I’m tryna get in ya ass lol. If you are not interested in that, don’t accept my offer. I was talking to one of my best friends about this. She was like straight up “if I don’t feel safe being alone in public with you on a date, I’m just not going to accept your offer. I’m not gonna invite one of my GF’s as a damn chaperone in the off chance you’ll kill me.” Lol

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look i do have a lot more sympathy for this than u think but when like just about literally every girl ive ever talked to about the topic has tried to make me feel like shit for it and im so incredibly jaded about this topic at this point u have no idea. i could get over it but id want an apology, which is offensive to most women cuz premarital sex isnt even wrong. and yes the girl not being a virgin ruins it. its painful to build an emotional attachment especially an exclusive one to a girl, men widely feel that way whether they'd admit it to women or even themselves. women often feel like they have to get rid of their virginity or else they wont be able to keep the attention of men they like and i dont have sympathy for that. i'm not dealing with women using sex to get the attention of men they couldnt normally get, thats not ok at all. there a BIG difference between being a virgin man and virgin woman in your 20s

[–]PrincessFKNPeach1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

look i do have a lot more sympathy for this than u think but when like just about literally every girl ive ever talked to about the topic has tried to make me feel like shit for it and im so incredibly jaded about this topic at this point u have no idea.

I think I have a slight idea of how jaded you are about this topic

i could get over it but id want an apology, which is offensive to most women cuz premarital sex isnt even wrong.

What would the apology do?

and yes the girl not being a virgin ruins it. its painful to build an emotional attachment especially an exclusive one to a girl, men widely feel that way whether they'd admit it to women or even themselves.

Exclusive emotional attachments are painful for everyone. It's terrifying to put your heart on the line. Do you really think only men feel this way?

women often feel like they have to get rid of their virginity or else they wont be able to keep the attention of men they like and i dont have sympathy for that. i'm not dealing with women using sex to get the attention of men they couldnt normally get, thats not ok at all.

There you go, not seeing women as nuanced people again. Women can be peer pressured into losing their virginity, too. It's not always about this reddit rhetoric of trying to hook a "Chad".

there a BIG difference between being a virgin man and virgin woman in your 20s

It's different but both are treated like outsiders. It mystifies me that you yourself chose to lose your virginity even though you didn't want to, but can't fathom that happening to a woman. This is exactly what I was talking about.

[–]itmethrowaway121 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

an apology would make me not see them as heartless and cold. and no its not the same for both genders cuz men and women dont place equal importance on an exclusive sexual relationship. women source of self esteem in the men they date has nothing to do with their n count, it has to do with getting a guy who is hard to build an emotional attachment with to build an emotional attachment to you where as men desire sexual exclusivity not emotional exclusivity. and like yeah but idk im not dating a girl who got peer pressured into giving up something so important like that, like don't give it up next time. its not falling on me, i can get a very serious apology and maybe but honestly i think im waaay too upset about this to honestly ever get over it. and no i disagree there is almost no age where being a virgin girl is a turn off where as for men it becomes weird very quickly.

[–]PrincessFKNPeach1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

women source of self esteem in the men they date has nothing to do with their n count it has to do with getting a guy who is hard to build an emotional attachment with to build an emotional attachment to you where as men desire sexual exclusivity not emotional exclusivity.

Maybe I'm just built different. Logically speaking, men with high n counts had to put in effort to get there and find success in those efforts. They're much less likely to stop and be faithful than men who didn't prioritize racking up bodies or weren't successful at it, but I prefer the ones who simply didn't prioritize it. I think men on PPD misinterpret pre-selection bias. It's not attractive when men are promiscuous, it's attractive when other women want him, too. Him having the self control to turn women down instead of taking any sex he can get makes him more attractive than the man who indiscriminately says yes to sex.

and like yeah but idk im not dating a girl who got peer pressured into giving up something so important like that, like don't give it up next time.

You can date whoever you want, I just don't GET how you see virginity as so important but discarded your own. There won't be a next time. You only lose your virginity once.

its not falling on me, i can get a very serious apology and maybe but honestly i think im waaay too upset about this to honestly ever get over it.

I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of men on this subreddit just need a hug.

and no i disagree there is almost no age where being a virgin girl is a turn off where as for men it becomes weird very quickly.

Men aren't the only peers women have. Peer pressure can come from other women, too.

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[–]death_by_1000_cats5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The only people who wait for marriage anymore are hard-line religious weirdos. I'm not religious and wouldn't want to marry a religious man (nor would a religious man want to marry me), so even if I wanted to wait, I wouldn't be able to do so with the types of men I'm interested in.

But besides that, I think sex and chemistry are important components of a relationship and a marriage so I wouldn't want to go into a lifetime commitment blind on such a fundamental matter. To me it would be tantamount to going into marriage not knowing what the person does for a living or whether they want kids. It's that big of a deal. And frankly, sex is fun and I was always responsible about it, so given that I don't have any moral of religious qualms with it, I had no reason to wait and don't feel like I lost anything by not doing so.

Virgin marriages are "successful" on paper because the few vanishingly rare cultures/communities that still enforce virginity also vehemently oppose divorce. It's not the virginity in and of itself that creates stable marriages, it's the whole culture and community surrounding it. If you're not part of that type of community and don't hold those religious/moral values, virginity isn't going to be some One Weird Trick to have a successful marriage.

I actually grew up in a religious community and went to a religious college where I had friends who married young as virgins. Trust me, those marriages have problems just like everyone else, inside and outside the bedroom.

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smoking crack =/= premarital sex.

It's not right for everyone because some people like casual sex or value sex a lot more than love/anything else in a relationship or even in life. I can't really relate rn (mostly imagining The One™ and working on myself), but I get it. Sex feels good and if you're going to have an LTR/marriage, you would preferably want it with someone sexually compatible. Personally and ideally, I want to find a man who isn't sex addicted/promiscuous, who would be willing to wait (a while at least for PIV), because to me that signals commitment and love, but I am aware that it's rare today. Simultaneously, there is the predicament of wanting someone sexually compatible like I mentioned before, though (especially so as a woman).

I do agree that waiting tends to produce better marriage quality, but I don't know if this is proven or if people even care. Some people are pessimistic about marriage in general (and some are hopeful, it's just based on life experiences/how we're conditioned in the end).

[–]itmethrowaway121 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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This comes off as nonsense.

I agree that it can have serious health and social consequences -- that's why I don't do it (I'm scared to have sex with strangers because: STDs, unwanted pregnancies, etc. and I would not want my friends/family to know). But some people are really smart about hiding it or just telling others to mind their business, you wouldn't even know they're having casual sex because they don't fit your stereotype. Plus, the social consequences in the West are almost zilch now, at least, among friends. Family is another story, that varies family to family. As long as you keep your antics on the low, it shouldn't affect your career or family though.

Crack cocaine is infinite times more harmful, could kill you and cause you to seriously act out, and an addiction to it is almost impossible to hide. I just think you're trolling.

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Forcibly penetrating someone is different from being forcibly penetrated because of the risks of pain, injury, disease, pregnancy. You're telling me you'd feel exactly the same if you 1) woke up with a woman bouncing on your dick or 2) woke up with man fucking your ass and making it bleed?

Rape is rape. If I get a woman drunk and finger her while she is out cold am I not a rapist because someone else shoved a woman down an alley and fucks her? No I would still be a rapist. The point of rape is that consent was violated not the gender of who is doing it or how they are doing it.

Women aren't trying to do this. The legal system is imperfect and men are more violent, dangerous, and aggressive

They campaigned to turn the domestic violence act into the violence against women act and pushed the Duluth model. Your kind is willing to not only toss aside victims but also willing to throw them in jail just because of their gender.

If one race was on average more violent, dangerous, and aggressive would you be fine with them receiving longer sentences or being made unable to be victims of crime? No that would be racist and insane.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kpofty/women_do_not_want_you_to_share_your_emotions/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/k35qcu/do_women_see_emotions_as_a_weakness_or_is_there_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kdtflq/is_there_ever_any_point_for_a_man_to_be/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jwzzj1/cmv_men_being_emotionally_expressive_only_brings/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/g69t9n/if_a_man_talks_about_his_feelings_is_he_a_weak/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8gt4mz/q4bp_what_do_you_think_of_women_leaving_men_over/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/hz8l7g/how_do_guys_process_emotions/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

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The date sets up an expectation that things will lead up to a kiss but I agree that specific example can be fuzzy. I think the main thing is establishing how unwanted something is on the scale. Getting a kiss from a stranger is probably more unwanted than a kiss from a date. There’s not necessarily a borderline for when something unwanted is okay cause obviously it’s still unwanted, but I think there are some situations that are more tolerable and understandable than others.

Sexual assault doesn’t mean the assault has to have sex in it. It just means the assault was of sexual nature. I think most people would associate kissing as a form of sexual contact. Culture difference would play a big part in how significant it would be for an individual, but I think the general consensus is the same.

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https://www.researchgate.net/publication/276597069_Violent_Female_Victimization_Trends_across_Europe_Canada_and_the_United_States#pf30

Little work has sought to establish whether the homicide decline is affecting both male and female victims, and in the same or different ways, and whether patterns vary between countries. Little cross-national work has been done to establish whether rape rates are generally rising or falling and to explain similarities and differences between countries. The picture for homicide is straightforward. Rates are falling almost everywhere but usually more rapidly for men. The rape picture is complex, varies between countries, and often looks different depending on whether ofﬁcial or victimization data are consulted. In the United States, both show declines. Victimization data in Canada and Sweden show stable rates, though ofﬁcial data show declines in Canada and steep rises in Sweden. No generalizations can be offered about common, cross-national trends in rape. Much more can be learned. Focusing on gender differences in crime victimization demonstrates that they exist and need explanation. Both general and gender-speciﬁc theories must be considered if long-term trends are to be understood

It might be rising short term, but the general trend seems to be going down long term. It should also be noted this is reporting sexual assaults and might not be the actual rate it is happening and it might be rising in somewhere, like say Sweden, because of the way the reports are made.

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It is fun if you dont mind the rng elements of it like rerolling your account and spending time reading excel document about item drops and such

Most gacha games give you like 10-20 summons to set up your account with enough characters for you to play so people keep making new accounts until they get a good character and then start the game

But if you dont mind that then Try Guardian tales, its an action rpg with a very cute art style and has a great story(for a mobile game)with a ton of popular media references and jokes from it, it doesnt take itself too seriously. The only bad thing about is that the progression is kinda slow and timegated but you can just play it for the story and uninstall

Arknights is a tower defence with a ton of unique maps and greatly drawn characters with alot of stories and info about them and the lore of the world. Its a bit stingy with its rewards compared to other games but you can pretty much clear the entire game with low tier characters

Lastly dont ever play western gachas such as raid shadow legends because its overpriced as fuck

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I mean, there are limitless routes. Here are some easy ones.

Pass as a man make a fake online profile or something like it.
Try to acquire sex from women anyways feminine lesbians exist, and are pretty much like heterosexual women in their behavior,masculine ones can be the same, but they are less precise, maybe because of masculine brains, if you try them, you see what men pass through.
Try the advice in womenRP and wifeRP It is like the TRP but uses its objective is to acquire what women demand from men, instead of acquiring sex from women, same knowledge, different objective.
Pay attention to other women's objective behavior, (not their words, their behavior) , preferably those they are not very close that way they can see how they react in the presence of men's behaviors and traits, while avoiding having a stake in the observation.
Just... pay attention to their own behavior everyone, regardless of sex, if paid attention to how they behave, will discover they act differently than what they think. A bit of objectivity (not caring about the why's but what actually happened) Will lead to some women being aware to why men have the views they have.

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I personally feel that you could be a family without the marriage but it’s difference in POV so I won’t challenge you there.

It literally doesn't. Legal marriage and adoption are the only two ways for unrelated people become family.

You can "consider each other family" and "feel like family" but you're not family in any real sense.

As for legal protections could all of that be accomplished with a will?

No. Social security survivor benefits for example only go to legal spouses. In some states the surviving person would have to pay inheritance taxes if they're not married. Things like that can't be covered in a will.

My only gripe with your last point is that I look at the relationship as me and the other person, and any external pressure (family approval) I feel like have the opportunity to cause tensions, BUT this is just my POV. I’m probably in the minority here

Yeah I understand some people feel that way but my family (now including my husband) is literally the most important thing in the world to me. Plus, when your lives are truly merged and especially when you bring kids into the picture, it's not "just you and the other person." And for me, I don't want it to just be me and him. I want him to be a part of my family and me to be a part of his. For us that never would be able to happen without marriage.

[–]SnowHatesWome1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It literally doesn't. Legal marriage and adoption are the only two ways for unrelated people become family.

In the legal sense, you're right. I have a very open interpretation of family. For example, my eldest sister has a boyfriend with whom she has a child. For all intents and purposes, I consider him family. I don't think of him as any less family if he was legally married. If a document is what's defined as a family then I guess not.

No. Social security survivor benefits for example only go to legal spouses. In some states the surviving person would have to pay inheritance taxes if they're not married. Things like that can't be covered in a will.

I did not know this. But if I'm not mistaken inheritance taxes only come into play when the estate is greater than $1 million and I'm a socialist, borderline commie so I'm okay with this lol.

Yeah I understand some people feel that way but my family (now including my husband) is literally the most important thing in the world to me. Plus, when your lives are truly merged and especially when you bring kids into the picture, it's not "just you and the other person." And for me, I don't want it to just be me and him. I want him to be a part of my family and me to be a part of his. For us that never would be able to happen without marriage.

I grew up with a different point of view. My parents were never married but had 5 kids, still together and in the relationship because they want to be. I consider that a stronger bond, because legally nothing is keeping them apart, and social not as much since they were never married (although 30 years and 5 kids, might carry the same negative social weight if separated.) I am happy to hear you mention your husband though. I feel like whenever I ask this question a sizeable chunk of the answers have nothing to do with the person and everything to do with the logistics surrounding them. Societal pressure, financials etc. I agree with you though it can be more than just two people and some people like to merge their whole lives together.

Edit: formatting

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(Men with high n counts) what do you attribute your success to? (Also a conversation about the opposite of this) I wanted to ask about success, but this post turns more into why the red pill made me not pursue women. I personally attribute my early sexual success to my semi-chad, blue pilled, happy go lucky take on life, until I started noticing repeating patterns.

I think I started sabotaging my own sexual success by increasing my standards, not wanting Alpha widows in my life, or holding women accountable.

I also started sabotaging my sexual success when I started to test out red pilled theories in the real world, and realizing how depressingly mechanical relationship dynamics are.

So my sexual successes were in a way, what both red pilled me, and turned me off from believing in love, since there is always some calculation at play.

Ironically, this perspective, though it has made me a "higher value male" has also limited my capacity to love，because everything is a matter of exchange.

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Do the STEM spergs here not understand PR surveys/studies?

Guys, not every study is peer reviewed and done by scientists. I was writing weighted questions for national surveys and studies at the age of 24, with zero scientific background - because my client wanted me to, so they could get hits

Stop asking for raw data and all that from PR surveys/studies. In fact, take a look at who pays for studies (including peer reviewed ones). I got really good at writing summaries and releases that spun data in exactly the way I wanted it to be spun, regardless of what the actual numbers were. It’s all about how you couch it with language

This is part of my annoyance with the study fetish on here. If you’ve never learned how to spin statistics, even in an abstract, you’re probably not recognizing what you’re reading

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Should you soft next, or should you be more explicit?

I think soft nexting has some benefits and some flaws. If you soft next, what you are doing is implicit. And the woman has to wonder if she did anything wrong, and what she should do to fix it if she wants to continue with you (in the context im reffering to).

It gives opportunity for her hamster to run wild. This could end up in your favor, or she could end doing something out of left field, because again, its implicit, and she cant be certain about what caused your behavior to change. Or she could just never reach out to you again.

So I have experimented with just straight up telling women words equating to the following (context dependent) when theyre getting on my last nerve and im considering cutting contact. "Hey, when you do [Insert unwanted behavior], you are disrespecting me and im not okay with that. If you want to be respectful and change your behavior we can keep talking, if not then id rather we stop."

What do you think? Should I continue with this, or be more implicit? I think the problem with the explicit route is you are pressing a head on confrontation and can cause escalation and rash behavior if she doesnt agree to what youre saying.

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I kind of agree with that pill in that lookism exists, but I don't believe it is as extreme as they describe. It's just for me the exterior matters for attraction, but it's not always just up to the face with an objective preference. Plus, I only require that if I think I look decent too. Otherwise I'd drop my standards to nothing.

But referring to behavior, not stereotypically masculine, to me, means that he treats me well, is vulnerable and loving with me and is more similar to me/well-matched. That turns me on more than "masculine" which I associate with emotionally guarded, overly confident, overly assertive, dominant, and combative/stern/paternal. I find these things unnecessary for anything but career/leadership (in which I believe being assertive and confident is a pro-- so that's something I want to work on because I am a bit meek). Edit: These traits actually scare me :D I might admire them from afar because it helps people do better, again, in career and education success, but if over-assertiveness is directed towards me in a relationship I might cry.

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Most of them will say that the money this business offers them gives them access to a lot of pussy

I have never ever heard a business owner say this. And even if this was true, you inherently agree with me that people with a purpose only care about the sex and don't give a rats ass about a relationship. Unless the guy is super high status, like he's the owner of a fortune 500 company, no regular woman cares that you own a business. They would expect that man to spend time with them just like any other regular guy.

You are right though that it isn't about legacy. I was wrong in saying that. Why men spend 80+ hours a week on their business or their endeavors is because they enjoy doing it and enjoy the feeling of mattering to a lot of people. It is essentially the equivalent to the satisfaction women get when they get a lot of likes on social media. The attention and feeling of importance to hundreds or thousands of people is intoxicating.

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

you inherently agree with me that people with a purpose only care about the sex and don't give a rats ass about a relationship.

Many men care more about sex and not relationships, regardless of whether they are successful or not.I wasn't trying to say that relationships are the only gateway to happiness. What I said was that for most men , productivity isn't something that makes them happy. A lazy dude that fucks a lot is gonna be just as happy if not more, than a dude that fucks and works a lot. Most/many men do want what relationships offer in order to be happy. They just want to fuck a lot of chicks first.

The attention and feeling of importance to hundreds or thousands of people is intoxicating.

I wouldn't say it's the feeling of importance but the power such a position gives. Which yeah, I agree it's intoxicating. But for many men it isn't that high as a priority.

[–]mmt_advovate1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Here's my logic:

Most men want a relationship and not just sex because they truly desire the intimacy rather than the physical sensation; Men are not robots.
They desire intimacy because their life is boring and need something to fill that boredom.
Video games and other hobbies can fill that boredom, but nothing is as addicting as intimacy, power, attention.
Power and sustained attention for men requires immense amount of work and time investment. As a result, intimacy is a far more low-hanging fruit.
Since men desperately desire intimacy, they become more needy and start to complain when satisfactory intimacy is not easily achieved.
You have the current situation where men complain about female behavior and are unsatisfied with life.

The solution to this is to put in the time and effort at step 4 and not result to intimacy as a way to make one's life more fulfilling. If one didn't care about intimacy, one wouldn't be complaining about female behavior. Thus, the ultimate solution for men to have a better life and more control over their destiny is to remove their dependency on intimacy.

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Aren't points 1 and 2 antithetical? They don't desire it because they are bored. They desire it because they aren't robots and the intimacy relationships provides is something that men want.

Again, I disagree that they care about attention that much. It's the power that is important. And for many men the satisfaction it offers isn't enough to justify the effort required to achieve that power.

The solution to this is to put in the time and effort at step 4 and not result to intimacy as a way to make one's life more fulfilling.

Eh, not so much. They should put time and effort at step 4 because it will give them access to a lot of pussy and leverage in their relationships. The problem modern men have is that they can't get enough sex and their relationships are crappy . Sex and intimacy is much more fulfilling for most of them than power. They will get a better life by solving the problem of pussy and intimacy.

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[+]SeemedGood-6 points-5 points-4 points 5 years ago (53 children) | Copy Link

I wonder if it would be good news to you if it had just become legal in Thailand for men to have their own wives and children killed at their whim just because those women and children present an inconvenient duty of care on their bodies.

Man walks into a clinic.

“Doctor, my 8 month pregnant wife relies on my body to eat and have a place to live. I don’t want to have to put my body through the physical stress of caring for her and my unborn child. It’s not fair to me. They’re leeching off of me, like parasites.”

Doctor: “OK, we can send a team by on Wednesday to take care of that for you. We’ll put you to sleep and when you wake up they’ll be gone and you’ll never have to worry about them again.”

Man: “Yay! How much does it cost?”

Doctor: “If you’re low income, The State will pay by coercing others to surrender their productivity with the threat of imprisonment. Every man deserves the right to bodily autonomy!”

Man: “Great. See you on Wednesday.”

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so he can avoid any drastic effects of it on his health.

Pregnancy rarely has drastic negative effects on the health of a woman. The normal process of pregnancy actually improves the long term health outcomes for women (lowers risks of cancer, leads to better bone density longevity, induces significant brain development, decreases risk of heart disease, reduces risk of developing MS, leads to easier periods, increases lifespan, and even healthier hair).

What is more important though that economic dependency can be cut by economic means. There aren't any other ways for physical one though.

Then maybe it shouldn’t be cuttable on the mere whim of a burdened parent, just like a parent cannot legally cut the economic and physical dependence of a three month old child immediately in a way which endangers the life of that child.

And driving a car isn't safe at all, yep.

Actually it’s very safe in the US, and pregnancy is even safer.

I really doubt her qualifications and I'd never hire one as a doula for myself or a person I care about.

A fool is as a fool does. She has had more training in pregnancy and childbirth, knows more about it, and has had more experience with it than you ever will. And natural home births assisted by midwives and doulas have statistically better health outcomes than hospital births attended by obstetricians. One of the reasons the US lags the rest of the developed world in birth outcomes is that we use fewer midwives and doulas and have more births in hospitals as opposed to birth centers and homes.

[–]NarniaFox1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

1 in 6 births was affected by gestational diabetes.
Women who had prior GDM have a 36–70% risk of developing type 2 diabetes later in life. Gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM) is a risk factor for the development of endothelial dysfunction and cardiovascular disease.
Preeclampsia is one of the leading causes of maternal morbidity and mortality worldwide. It is a pregnancy-specific multi-organ syndrome that affects 2–8% of pregnancies.
There is a significant risk of preeclampsia recurrence in future pregnancies. There is an increased lifetime risk of chronic hypertension, cardiovascular disease (CVD), and stroke in women who experienced preeclampsia during pregnancy.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5575578/

And there is also incontinence

Four years after the first delivery, prevalence of stress urinary incontinence was 29% (89/307)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2662093/

9 out of 10 women will tear and 1 out of 100 will have 3d (extending away from vaginal wall towards the perineum to the anal sphincter) or 4th (extending into the anal canal as well as the rectum) degree tearing.

And we also have postpartum depression

Postpartum depression (PPD) affects up to 15% of mothers.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3918890/

That also can lead to a bipolar disorder

Approximately 14% of women with first-time psychiatric contacts during the first postpartum month converted to a bipolar diagnosis within the 15-year follow-up period compared with 4% of women with a first psychiatric contact not related to childbirth.

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/1151054

And I've listed only few things, there are far more complications that a woman can get and there are complications that can haunt her till death. The risks aren't that rare.

Then maybe it shouldn’t be cuttable on the mere whim of a burdened parent

It should because physical dependency in this case means that a woman suffers from changes in her body that are inherit even for 100% healthy and not complicated pregnancy.

A fool is as a fool does.

If we ever decide to have a child, we'll hire a midwife, just not a pro-birther one. I want someone who would value me over an unborn fetus rather than the other way.

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I remember one dude told me “I hit on like 100 straight girls and they all rejected me. I’m done with this shit”.

I was like first off I don’t believe that you hit on 100 women in a row lol, but if you did and you got rejected by every single one either one of 3 things is at play

1.)You're going after women WAAAAY out of your league(doubtful)

2.)Youre the most unlucky guy on the planet

3.)You have zero game and don’t know how to talk to people.

You’re telling me you approached 100 girls and couldn’t even get ONE phone number? I’m not talking about fucking, just a number or social media account?

It’s like when I worked in sales at a mall in college(this really helped me get over my fear). One time I was selling women’s perfume, imagine me going up to 50 women who walked into my store During my shift and not being able to get ONE to sign up or buy anything. That’s a fucking failure and I’m doing something clearly wrong

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A good story for a change.

I guess it was 20-25 years ago, my mother's friend was going home and she had to go through a park. A man with a knife and a smirk stopped her and asked whether she was going to the bushes herself or he had to pull her there. The woman failed her exam that day so she was already pissed. She also was a policewomen in her hometown. She offered him to choose what she was going to break him first - an arm or legs. Unfortunately, he successfully ran away from her.

But it's the story with a good ending. She went to the local police, through arguments made them take her allegation and also made one policeman go with her to check the dorms for working people around that park. They found the guy in the last dorm! He was so fucking shocked, that he confessed in everything. She also found another girl who he attempted to assault and she gave her testimony as well. The guy had already been convicted for rape, so this time he got jailed for longer.

It's bittersweet though, because most likely if the woman wasn't working in the police already, her allegation wouldn't be taken and nothing would be done before that piece of shit would actually rape someone again. But at least this specific piece of manure got jailed again.

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There are plenty of statistics.

About 45,000 people a year (of 335,000,000) die buy a gun - .0134%.

Of those roughly 30,000 are suicides, and roughly 1500 are shootings by law enforcement officers.

Leaving roughly 13,500 gun homicides a year - .004%.

And the vast majority of those gun homicides occur in a few large inner cities with significant drug related crime problems (gun homicide rate is 4x higher in large cities of over 250k than rural areas and 3x higher than in metropolitan suburbs). Noting here that those states with large inner city areas tend to have much stricter gun laws than those which are very rural.

So unless you live in a large inner city that is plagued by drugs and crime, the US gun homicide rate looks very close to that of Austria, Finland, and France, which is pretty good given the prevalence of guns here.

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I’m very familiar with just about every socioeconomic corner of America as a significant portion of my extended family still lives in poor black East Coast inner city neighborhoods, I grew up in the rural South, went to high school and college in tony New England suburbs, lived and worked in the swanky parts of NYC and NYC suburbs, and lived in rural New England and ultra rural “flyover states.”

Not at all familiar with the America you’re talking about because it’s more rooted in victim mentality than facts.

The systemic victimhood which I have seen up-close due to volunteer work is that perpetrated on poor black and white women and their families by the “child welfare” system which in reality amounts to the biggest for profit child trafficking scheme imaginable, run almost exclusively by liberal UMC white women.

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People give zero fucks about things that don’t affect them directly

No. Men actually do care when they see others suffering. I care about people starving although I'm not. I care about the men who are incels even though I'm not.

You're describing a woman trait not a man's trait.

It’s human nature 🤷‍♀️

Why do women use that emoji so much?

I’m not sure why TRP and black pill types get their panties in a bunch that women collectively don’t care about them in some weird maternal way. It’s not like they care about us in some paternal way

Yes they do or else they wouldn't white knight for women constantly.

There's been several videos and studies of women abusing men and nothing happens, but men abuse women in public and men leap to their defense.

Where are the women defending the men? They simply don't care as men do. That's the end of the story. The more "empathic" gender is anything but.

[–]SmurfESmurferson7 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You’re describing a woman trait not a man’s trait

Women are statistically waaaaaaaay more overrepresented in nonprofits - both working for and volunteering - precisely because we do care more than men

Why do women use that emoji so much?

You know, I’m the AWALTy-ist AWALT, and even I can’t explain it. Sometimes it just fits the tone of whatever I’m saying

Yes they do or else they wouldn’t white knight for women constantly

They do that as part of a covert contract to get their dicks touched. It’s not a paternal interest, which is an altruistic caring about someone

There’s been several videos ...

Human nature is to defend the smaller, less capable being in a physical conflict. For men, that’s women

But sub in a child or animal getting abused by an adult - even a woman - and you’ll see a lot more of a defense

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Men give more actual money to charity and non profits often do make money the stated goal is that they don't but in practice they strive to.

That emoji adds nothing to the conversation.

They do that as part of a covert contract to get their dicks touched.

In your opinion, every man that has ever stopped another man from hitting a woman was because he was hoping to get pussy?

And even if they HOPED it's not a guarantee so they are still doing it from a place of knowing they may get nothing in return.

It’s not a paternal interest, which is an altruistic caring about someone

And women don't want anything back from helping men? Oh wait, they don't help men at all!

Human nature is to defend the smaller, less capable being in a physical conflict. For men, that’s women

So wait is it inbuilt for humans to defend the smaller and less capable or is it a covert sex contract?

But sub in a child or animal getting abused by an adult - even a woman - and you’ll see a lot more of a defense

So women don't give a fuck about men because they are strong but they are more empathic? That doesn't track. Selective empathy isn't being more empathetic. Men care about other men women and children. Women, as you claim, only care about the small and the weak. They might care more than others about the small and the weak but men care about all strong or weak.

Having a wider range to your empathy would generally be considered more empathetic. The idea that because women have a stronger emotional reaction to certain stimuli doesn't prove anything.

In fact it could be argued that since it is female nature to bare children their protective attitude is an instinct and not a decision. Men have to actually try to understand others to have empathy. Women just have knee jerk instincts to protect their own children that they protect onto other smaller things without a second thought.

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Here is your daily red pill:

For every 85 cents western governments spend on women, they spend 5 cents on men.

Feminism exists to empower women. The patriarchy also exists to empower women. ....

....

When the Nazis invaded, french women would give themselves up to their new masters.

After the fall of the Berlin Wall, women moved out of East Germany to marry rich Americans.

When the barbarians are at the gates, the best thing to do as a woman, is to join the winning side. Men do not have this option. We fight.

They have been doing this for centuries, costing lives.. and we are today men have become so weak that we cry about divorce settlements instead.

Women need to develop some sense of honor and stop destroying society.

.....

Open your eyes as to why it's called the red pill.

Them crying about the handmaid's tale, is indeed the story of your enslavement.

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Weekly Community Chat Megathread

Comments

DEAD

2 clipper. Don't think I'm ever going to pay for a haircut again. The pandemic has been great for my bank account.

r/pinkpillfeminism has been banned

Title	Weekly Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	12
Comments	3506
Date	February 1, 2021 9:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ladzgg/weekly_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/weekly-community-chat-megathread.738496 https://theredarchive.com/post/738496