Are there men who actually PREFER an average woman over a stunning one?

DukeInterior · 2021-06-26T11:18:22+00:00

I think it's fair to say that in the hypothetical situation where you met two people with identical personalities and one was better looking, you'd probably pick that person. But it's a meaningless hypothetical that will never happen.

In reality i'd pick an average girl I was attracted to who's personality I loved, over a stunningly gorgeous girl who I didn't think that much of.

goneaway2thewind · 2021-06-26T11:54:53+00:00

Girl next door types are definitely a thing.

Honestly (without getting too NSFW) I think a lot of guys prefer average girls in porn too because when they are too stunning bimbos it just feels unrealistic. Like the stepsis porn is probably popular not because guys wanna fuck their sisters but because those girls look like actual women and not Barbie dolls

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-06-26T14:42:38+00:00

Dudes want pretty girls who have the self esteem of average or below average girls lol

WilliamWyattD · 2021-06-26T11:29:05+00:00

No man wants a less attractive girl, ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL. Of course, there are idiosyncracies in terms of what a guy considers personally attractive. That said, one can still generalize a great deal about attractiveness.

What is more important is that ALL THINGS ARE NEVER equal. So of course many men will prefer an average girl to a stunning one if the average girl has a lot of great qualities and the stunning one does not. But, also of course, not every average girl is an angel and not every stunning girl is a total bitch.

So being real, of course men prioritize heavily for looks. From a certain perspective, there is probably always a girl who had all the compatible qualities of the woman you end up with, but was also hotter. So in a certain way, all men settle. Just like all women settle.

But there is a paradox of settling. You settle but you don't. What you build over time in a truly good relationship is far more important than initial raw attraction. Moreover, hopefully we all come to see in time how vastly more important other qualities can be than raw sexual attractiveness. So five to 10 years into a great relationship, the idea that each of you 'settled' for one another becomes and academic and theoretical truism that is basically irrelevant to your life. You are far more cognizant of how lucky you are to have each other.

Anyways, in great relationships, that is how it is supposed to work. Of course, not every relationship is great. And the more our culture impels us to prioritize the maximization of erotic thrills over all other considerations, the harder it is to achieve this mental state.

pajj_ratel · 2021-06-26T10:33:07+00:00

I've seen men simp over absolute quasimodo looking ass bitches. As long as you're at least like a 4.5/10 and not fat* there will be a sizeable amount of men that will actually adore you.

^*this ^is ^optional, ^plenty ^of ^guys ^like ^fat ^chicks ^as ^well

Murphysmongoose · 2021-06-26T15:26:10+00:00

Admittedly I think once a woman gets to a certain level of attractive, she by default gets narcissistic/spoiled/privileged to the point she's borderline not human anymore.

So yeah, I prefer only up to a certain level of attractive for the trade off on personality, and emotional/mental stability. I also like her, "mirin" at me, and looking at me like I'm candy or pizza. That's usually easier to get with more, "normal/average" girls, and the love life is way better.

Edit: I think women need a little bit of insecurity, to not get an, "I'm a perfect goddess" complex. Not saying, "neg" her, or one, trying to give her a conplex... JS I look for one who doesn't think she's perfect.

Slyfer_Seven · 2021-06-26T12:10:12+00:00

I prefer a nice ass and a cute face that package comes in average to stunning and honestly there is no real difference to me once the threshold is met.

If I'm in a relationship with you that means, from a physical standpoint, you have met that criteria and no "hotter" chick is going to tempt me to stray. So in that regard, I'd prefer the average woman I'm with over others, even one who is stunning.

There's no settling, no trading up, no secret pining. That FOMO shit is a new gen problem that y'all are going to have to figure out how to overcome...

tHiShiTiStooPID · 2021-06-26T15:08:11+00:00

I find the women that excite me the most are not “hot girls” by society’s standards. Who she is, her personality, sense of humor, all contribute to how much she turns me on. That said, there are physical attributes that are pretty important to me. But having a big butt is not that rare, fortunately, so that’s not so much of an issue. 😂

parabenprincess · 2021-06-26T15:22:48+00:00

Yes, I see tons of average looking women (& couples) in relationships when I’m out and about. You need to get out more and realize what you read online is not always indicative of real life dynamics.

TheDevilPutD · 2021-06-26T15:27:03+00:00

When you've been around and fucked plenty of women you start finding this other than physical attraction very important. Like is she low drama, does she take care of you, how she treats you, her credit score, etc. Then hotness stops mattering as much, although that doesn't mean settling for someone you are not sexually attracted to. It's just that they don't have to be the hottest.

gunbusterxl · 2021-06-26T15:37:53+00:00

No dude is going to fall madly in love with a woman just because she looks a certain way. It's not about average vs hot. That's the wrong way to think about it. TBH, it's not about looks at all as long as you're decent.

In all my life (34 yo) there have exactly two women that I've really wanted to date. Both of them have average looks, if I had to be honest with myself. All my ex-gf's asked me out, and most of them looked better than those two women, but the relationship never lasted because I just wasn't that into them.

Looks get people's attention, but you need to bring more than that.

Barely-moral · 2021-06-26T11:22:14+00:00

Without knowing any the women in question or all things being equal, men would preffer the stunning woman over the average one.

Once the man in questions loves the woman/develops wife googless then that woman is above every other woman even if she is average, even if he has other options that are better than her.

Do you like your partner for who they are, or are they just the best you could do?

Yes I like her for what/who she is and I could do better than her.

Would you trade up if you could?

I can and I wouldn't.

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

Yes. Unless what you mean by that is that they would be preffered over hot women all other things being equal. Unless what you mean by that is that they would be preffered over hot women when every single human involved in the situation are strangers to each other.

bunol · 2021-06-26T10:37:20+00:00

Yeah I'd rather an average girl. But above looks I'd want someone with a personality that goes well with mine.

Dan240z · 2021-06-26T11:00:07+00:00

Men can only get women they can afford the more money/resources he has the more options men can get in terms of the women's physique or look. But I would say most men would like a low maintenance woman.

_-CHUBUT-_ · 2021-06-26T10:49:26+00:00

If that average girl has an interesting personality and is fun to be around, of course I'd choose her over a prettier one for LTR

Anthony-waltzs · 2021-06-26T11:18:41+00:00

Yes of course. The problem is these average women do not want their average counterparts.

wtknight · 2021-06-26T13:07:58+00:00

For relationships, stunning women are usually higher maintenance and would expect more out of me due to hypergamy, so I don't really prefer them.

But for guys who are only looking to have sex with women, there is no reason not to choose the most stunning one that one can find.

ErrorMacrotheII · 2021-06-26T16:04:13+00:00

I kinda do. My first girlfriend was considered ugly by some. I think she is beautiful. Sadly it didn't work out.

just_a_place · 2021-06-26T23:38:58+00:00

The only girl I have ever truly loved was actually below average in appearance. She was this scrawny, short and very nerdy girl in high school. She wore thick glasses, had dry hair, a few pimples on her chin, little teeth, and she looked a bit sickly. It is no understatement when I say that I did not give a fuck, I still loved her. She mattered to me as a person, I cared about her as a human being. But she never gave me an inch however, I tried approaching her several times but she always just kept me at a distance, always shy, didn't engage with me. Mutual friends latter told me that she was aware that I was interested in her but she never wanted to believe it, and thought that I was just going to somehow hurt her. Others told me she was just not confident and did not want to be with a guy that was way out of her league - she felt that I was too good for her or something. In any case that was my one shot and I blew it.

A prettier/hotter girl can certainly rouse our libido - but not our heart. Now that I think about it I didn't really become a tomcat until after high school. After I felt rejected by this girl that I loved. That's when I started to try and go after any girl who gave me a chance. That's how I learned that when a man loves a girl we will fight his libido for her sake and keep his horny feelings in check just to ensure that we do not wound the girl we love by not giving her the attention that we are entitling her to.

When I was sleeping with hot girls I would still think back to her and kinda meditate on my feelings. If I could still smash these hot ass girls when I was with the one girl I actually loved would I still do it. That is when I figured out that the answer is no. Just the idea of wounding her like that would kill my libido.

Are all men trying to get the hottest girl that we can? The answer is yes. This is common sense and women are not an exception. Women too are trying their best to get with the best man that they can get. This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.

Do most men end up settling but secretly wishing they could have a hotter girl?

Most men feel lucky as hell that they could get a girl at all. In truth, all men eventually feel like they settled. Not because they are swimming in a sea women from which they could choose from but because they usually take only what they can get. Only very few men have the looks or the wealth to truly have any options when it comes to women. I am one such man which is why I am telling you this. A lot of my friends are just not given the same options that I have with women. They all feel like they "settled" because they just have no other real option.

I have multiple partners and I love them for who they are. I don't think in terms of "the best I can do" but in terms of "women I actually care for."

Would you trade up if you could?

No. I love y girl friends and I won't trade them if it means harming them. If they decide to break up then maybe. But I am not interested in abandoning them.

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

Yes. Like I said, the only girl I have ever truly loved was below average (in appearance) and my girl friends now are pretty average I would say. I know I can attract hotter women because I've slept with a few. But who I choose to fuck and who I choose to love may of may not be the same woman.

Competitive_Pen2282 · 2021-06-26T10:54:28+00:00

Most men prefer stunning girl but realise that this girl has too many options and would requre very good treatment and high maintenance. Many men don't want to treat women well and prefer someone who would tolerate low efforts. Ideally they want stunning woman with low self esteem.

W-Pirate · 2021-06-26T11:20:43+00:00

Since I don't give a shit about hook ups, mostly average is fine, although it really depends on the face. If a girl has 9/10 body, but 3/10 face I'm not going to date her, period. In terms of personality, I don't need a crazy, shy girls are fine, but most of the time girls I can get along with and are aware of their inner picture and ambitious in the outer picture.

ArtNo6372 · 2021-06-26T11:26:52+00:00

No. But there is men whos taste vary from the norm enough that what they consider stunning would be average for others. Obviously no man is gonna prefer what he considers worse over what he considers better. And if he does it's not for the actual looks but it's cos he thinks ugly wont cheat or something

TrueCenterRealist · 2021-06-26T12:17:54+00:00

Why would you prefer your women to be less attractive to you?

If the entire basis of the conversation is looks and nothing else is relevant (like she’s an Instagram thot with a really awful personality who you wouldn’t want to actually be around) why would anybody intentionally bat down?

I like my partner because she’s a good balance between attractiveness and a person I actually want to spend time with and not just have sex with, but it’s no secret I like hot women too. I’d never date some drama queen just because she’s hot though, and I can’t stand people who live on social media, which seems to be a common theme among attractive people because of all the attention they get.

neubs · 2021-06-26T12:42:47+00:00

I'd want the ugliest girl I can still get a boner for so I reduce the chances she thinks she can do better

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2021-06-26T13:24:26+00:00

Like because they like her as a person, and wouldn’t choose a prettier girl even if they could?

I've done this.

Or are all men just trying to optimise and get the hottest girl they can?

Depends.

Do most men end up settling but secretly wishing they could have a hotter girl?

Probably.

Do you like your partner for who they are, or are they just the best you could do?

Both.

Would you trade up if you could?

Yes.

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

When weren't they?

LastFlow · 2021-06-26T14:45:53+00:00

yes because i am kinda too insecure to date a stunning one. i would constantly feel like i am competing for her even when i have her.

regardless, i am attracted to a wide array of types, that absolutely personality matters the most! and if a stunning one still has an amazing personality... refer back to the first part of my comment lol.

PeskyHijinks · 2021-06-26T15:29:55+00:00

At my age I would prefer an average woman if I was single. Beautiful people are high maintenance and a lot of trouble, lol. I'd take an average woman with a great personality over a beautiful woman with issues. But again, at my age, it's all about minimizing hangups. Lol

Top_Bedroom_4007 · 2021-06-26T15:50:16+00:00

Men find 80% of women attractive. Therefore, they aren't picky. If he can have both a good looking one and an average one, he will choose both.

clitspit · 2021-06-26T15:55:30+00:00

The attitude of a person has a lot to do with how attractive they are. Lots of really hot looking people with shitty attitudes are not desirable. Others that may not be as physically attractive but have a great attitude, are much more desirable to be with.

ridgecoyote · 2021-06-26T16:03:13+00:00

An Extremely attractive woman comes with issues- even if she’s sweet and faithful I’d feel a bit intimidated. Not to mention putting up with all the attention she gets from other men would make me uncomfortable

Sid_Insidious · 2021-06-26T22:46:25+00:00

Back when I was half-fuckable and in the SMP... (lol nice disclaimer)

I would certainly go after more average looking women. GOOD looking sure, but not super good looking. Why bother? These women were inundated with high-value options. So, I'd go out with women more in my league and I had quite good sex always having partners that I found attractive enough to have sex with.

Did this pass the acid test?

Well, as a man, all I can say is that I was in the moment with these women and not pining for some better looking specimen.

synosphrene · 2021-06-27T07:29:06+00:00

Definitely prefer a 7/10 looks with a 10/10 personality!

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-06-27T08:57:36+00:00

Whoever is more enthusiastic in bed.

thegr8profiter · 2021-06-26T14:11:37+00:00

Just went through your post history. Saw some of your posts in FDS. Seems like you were big time FDSer but then you got ditched by them. And now you have gone on a posting spree in past few days that totally contradicts FDS philosophy.

You need a serious detox from Reddit and take a step back and take stock of things and what do you really want in life.

As to your question, I think you don't much life experience if you have really haven't seen men who are loyal to their average looking and sometimes below average looking wives and gfs. There are many men who haven't taken the opportunity to cheat even when they present themselves. I am a 40 year old man, and most of my male family members and friends are in loyal long term relationships. Men cheat as much as women do... Take a few percentage points here and there.

Also take in consideration, different men find different characteristics hot. We are not homogeneous. I love women with bit of flab and are middle aged. I find that hot. But I will never cheat my wife. I don't want to be an embarrassment to my son. And there are many men like me.

All your questions and posts come from a place of hurt and dissappointment.

ifelsedowhile · 2021-06-26T10:57:53+00:00

Men are naturally attracted to what's average unlike women. Don't know about below average. I could go for certain women deemed below average but generally I dislike obesity.

Cimorene86 · 2021-06-26T11:02:38+00:00

I've had similar conversations with my FWB over the years, here's a synopsis of what he's said:

All men want the hottest chick they are capable of pulling, but looks aren't everything for a relationship. Sex is extremely important, so a woman with a high libido who is a 6 will beat out a 9 who starfishes or only gives "duty" sex. But if a 8 or 9 with a high libido comes along, then a man will want to get with her. However, at that point you have to be careful of the Crazy/Hot scale because in all likelihood she's absolutely batshit or incredibly entitled. Sweet spot is to find a 7 or higher 6 who is only slightly crazy but in a good way and can bring that energy into the bedroom.

It's much preferable to be with a woman who likes you for who you are and who you like for who she is, rather than both of you pretending to be something you're not. That gets old after college. Be yourself and if she has a problem with it she's not a good choice. If you're in a sexual relationship with a woman she should want your dick because she's attracted to your body and personality, not because of money or lifestyle. Vetting for this is important. Of course a lot of guys don't even have extra money to give so it's easy for us to avoid those types of women. Can't get blood from a stone. Average women who come from similar economic backgrounds and have realistic expectations and/or understand financial struggles are better than hot women who don't.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-06-26T11:18:21+00:00

Or are all men just trying to optimise and get the hottest girl they can?

Yes.

Do most men end up settling but secretly wishing they could have a hotter girl?

Yes.

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

Nope.

bordstol · 2021-06-26T12:02:38+00:00

I always wonder if ugly couples are actually attracted to each other. It seems impossible to me, but I guess the meme of "being attracted to their personality" can be real for some people?

aleksateemo · 2021-06-26T11:29:58+00:00

Definetely the average woman. Far less negging and she will appriciate me a lot more.

Cedo_Alteram · 2021-06-26T13:36:30+00:00

I'm personally of the opinion that TRP is mostly right when it comes to dating hot women and mostly wrong when it comes to dating average women. In my observations, it's essentially impossible to develop the personality I want in a partner while also being particularly attractive, and I imagine that goes the other way too; that particularly attractive guys become jerks because they can get away with it.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-26T14:47:32+00:00

Of course

So they don’t feel inferior or vulnerable to cheating

Robotemist · 2021-06-26T15:13:25+00:00

Men idolize stunning women because they've never been with one and assumes it's glorious. As someone who's had a few, trust that it's not all its cracked up to be. When you're really attractive, it's hard to develop other personality attributes and values.

passepar2t · 2021-06-26T10:31:08+00:00

You're projecting so hard, you are radiant like the sun.

yougottabedumb · 2021-06-26T12:02:56+00:00

Nope. But we won’t categorically say no to an average girl like women do to average guys and if we get with one we will still be quite satisfied unlike women who are constantly looking to upgrade

Kryllist · 2021-06-26T13:00:25+00:00

I'll tell you this, I'm married to a woman who was recruited by Victoria Secret and I fantasize about ugly-average women at times.

As they say, for every hot girl there is a man tired of fucking her. Add on top of that tired of dealing with her shit.

onenitemareatatime · 2021-06-26T11:19:31+00:00

Que the Crazy/Hot Matrix.

I’m pretty well out of the dating scene anymore but in my experience, the hotter the girl the less suitable partner they were.

Here’s they real crazy part, I think that’s a universal concept.

I think MOST people end up settling or dialing down OR de-prioritizing looks in favor of a more suitable partner. You know, like someone who offers more than looks and an unmanageable ego.

Do we secretly wish for a better looking partner? Who doesn’t. Again tho, I think as you get later in life you realize these people that rank so high in looks bring lots of problems. So instead you look for someone who actually brings SOLUTIONS or at least not-problems.

Would I trade up? It would be so hard because I wouldn’t simply be concerned about looks. I’d want to know if the person has decent, steady employment, has domestic skills, is a team player etc.

IMO a 5/6 who has actual life skills. a personality and is all about me is waaaaaayyyyyyyy more attractive than a 9/10 who only sees themselves and my money.

Turdcutter99 · 2021-06-26T12:06:32+00:00

Slimness of body and shared interests is the main reason I'd be interested in a woman. Less than ideal faces can grow on me. You get used to them. I'm not picky about faces, I'm facially average myself.

I'd rather be with a slim average woman than a hot pretty girl who got chubby or fat.

Us average guys who are healthy in weight but just a 5/10 can't afford to be picky. We can can go years where are only option is obese ugly women or remaining alone.

throwaway3649_ · 2021-06-26T12:55:10+00:00

Its sad how this is even a question, men are capable of forming strong emotional bonds and at that point physical appearance takes a backseat. This is true moreso for men than women because men are attracted to almost all healthy women. Also, the range of purely physical attraction men feel is much narrower than what women feel for men, at least from what I have observed.

Personally, every girl I've been strongly attracted to was average, it was something else entirely that stood out.

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

If you reverse the genders for the questions, they would actually feel valid. Right now this entire post feels like cruel satire. Unless there is something terribly wrong with your face or body, you will be loved as a woman. I wish I could say the same for men.

AussieBrooks · 2021-06-26T13:33:30+00:00

Average women have more sexual options than a top tier man. A lot of men want a hot chick but with having a hot above average looking gf, comes a huge headache and a general rule of thumb, the hotter the chick, the more problems and drama there will be

AutoModerator · 2021-06-26T10:27:46+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

FinallyReborn · 2021-06-26T11:37:26+00:00

Yes, I'm very insecure and dating an attractive woman would make me feel unworthy of her and bad about myself, so I would rather date a woman in my "league", if that makes sense.

Yokowi · 2021-06-26T11:46:04+00:00

All I'm gonna say...just cuddle an average man. Then tell me if he will ever leave you 😅 Think that about sums it up.

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-06-26T11:47:32+00:00

I had the thought multiple times. Sometimes I prefer the average girl because it seems(!) like they are more loyal -> Studies show the opposite, attractive women cheat less. They also get less attention which can be nice. Maybe she invests more into her personality if she's lacking in the looks department. Outside of that I can't think of any benefits. For LTR I am totally fine with an average women, other factors play a bigger role tbh. Attractiveness is always a bonus but not something I would trade up for. For the question I assume both are equally intelligent/interesting.

BarestBranch · 2021-06-26T11:52:15+00:00

Hottest means different things for different people. I'm sure some of the women I find the absolute hottest are just average in the eyes of others. That said, I would definitely pick someone I'm more compatible with over someone who might be more physically attractive to me. At least for a relationship.

WizardTheodore · 2021-06-26T12:11:54+00:00

The average woman can be stunning

Classicjammer · 2021-06-26T12:27:36+00:00

Would rather have a down to earth average girl that I’m physically attracted to than a bombshell who is conceited or plays games.

taapy234 · 2021-06-26T12:34:08+00:00

A man with options prefer stunning girls over average woman.

But most "regular" men tend to be pretty realistic about their expectations on women because... shit's already hard as is with modern women being hypergamous and all.

In other words, any man will be ecstatic if he successfully seduced and won over a stunning woman, but that hypothetical doesn't stop them from going after women on their level.

hudibrastic · 2021-06-26T12:34:54+00:00

Totally… slightly above average in beauty and with a nice personality, passion for other things than generic things like travel and food is a totally turn on

01011001011000010110 · 2021-06-26T12:48:01+00:00

I don't find it attractive if a girl is "too perfect" and I find it rather boring.

Pretty girls also have the thing in common, that a lot of them don't have a personality, so yeah pretty much.

wtknight · 2021-06-26T12:51:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AggroWeasel · 2021-06-26T13:21:52+00:00

I wouldn’t be with a woman who I didn’t think was very physically attractive. I know this doesn’t exactly answer the question, but that’s because I would never find myself in the situation where I thought, “Meh. My gf looks just okay.”

Honestly, it’s hard enough to stay attracted to a woman even when she is hot.

TonightFewstars · 2021-06-26T13:30:29+00:00

'Beauty' plays almost no part in my considerations in the past.

I think they (very few gfs) were beautiful but that did not draw us closer.

ToughAnswers · 2021-06-26T13:51:47+00:00

Average are the worst of all...hot and ugly are the way to go

Nickover50 · 2021-06-26T14:31:20+00:00

It’s subjective as many who are attractive on the outside can be very ugly on the inside. What’s attractive to me is someone whose balance of the two works with my personal requirements.

Sometus · 2021-06-26T15:37:11+00:00

Yes, I do for sure. I LOVE women without make up. Especially when they dress in non girly clothes. And no, I am not talking about traps or tomboys. There just is something about a woman that doesn't care that is just so attractive to me.

That said, while my standards are basically 0 besides not being morbidly obese (optional) and breathing, I still don't have a lot of luck. And that is me being 6'2'' (in Germany though, where average height is like 5'11''), with a decent face and hitting the gym 4 times per week. It sucks sometimes but I haven't given up yet.

NarniaFox · 2021-06-26T15:51:16+00:00

Like because they like her as a person, and wouldn’t choose a prettier girl even if they could?

Why not? Would you trade a partner for someone prettier? There are men who value personality and don't seek "the prettiest" one. Plus, when you fall in love, you see your partner more attractive than they really are.

Or are all men just trying to optimise and get the hottest girl they can?

Women don't have a hive mind. Neither do men. So I wouldn't say that "all men" or "all women" do this or that besides our biological functions that keep us alive of course.

Do most men end up settling but secretly wishing they could have a hotter girl?

I doubt that. From what I've seen most people who do have some kind of regrets considering their choice of a partner, have compatibility- and personality-related regrets.

Do you like your partner for who they are, or are they just the best you could do?

I'm a woman, I love my husband for who he is. He's my unicorn.

Would you trade up if you could?

Nope.

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

As I've said in your other post, I think I'm pretty average. Cute face & skinny, nothing really stunning. And I'm loved and desired. If I am, I see no reason why other women can't be. I've also seen women who can be described just as ugly ones, whose husbands seemed not to mind it and deeply love them.

Humans are shallow, yes, but love is a bit more complicated feeling than just "I love the one who makes my dick hard and who's the prettiest out there".

Ok_Room1213 · 2021-06-26T15:51:35+00:00

Pretty sure this was a #1 hit in the 60s

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life

Never make a pretty woman your wife

So for my personal point of view

Get an ugly girl to marry you

A pretty woman makes her husband look small

And very often causes his downfall

As soon as he married her and then she starts

To do the things that will break his heart

But if you make an ugly woman your wife

A-you'll be happy for the rest of your life

An ug-a-ly woman cooks meals on time

And she'll always give you peace of mind

goblin_champ · 2021-06-26T16:21:30+00:00

In one word, Yes.

Looks may be important and may be one of the most important measures if not the most important measure for many men. But its never the only measure of a woman.

And one thing before getting into that, what most guys like in terms of a woman's beauty is not the same that what many girls think. Most guys arent fantasizing about the prettiest models or actresses or the "fake"/photoshopped instagrammers.

I think there was a study with porn actresses that proved that the mist viewed pornstarts were actually women who looked average/had the girl next door look.

Anyway, moving to the original point, men also care about a girls attitude, personality and agreeable/workable nature. I guarantee you that a huge percentage of men wont waste time on a woman who has a very bad attitude and is very disagreeable regardless of how she looks. The hardcore simps may still give her attention of she got the looks but any guy with some self respect wont.

At the end of the day a man wants a woman with whom he can feel at ease and can talk/connect. Not someone who makes us feel uneasy or insecure and definitely not an opponent.

And a man doesnt fall in love with a womans looks, that is a common myth. Looks can only fuel arousal, but not commitment or love.

Commitment and love come from what you as a woman (or his woman) mean to a man.

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

They very well can. And many do. But they have to find the right man.

Anantha1996 · 2021-06-26T16:32:24+00:00

A lot of people look for people they perceive to be of simmilar value, not necessarily higher value.

The best strategy would be to lock down a good guy early, people value those who were with them while they were building themselves up rather than someone they met at the finish line.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2021-06-26T16:44:09+00:00

Hot girls come with so many headaches and bad qualities, they aren't worth it. I know that I would have to throw huge amount of money at them for them to give me the time of day. Hot girls have so many options and such short attention spans, they are a complete waste of time for everyone but the very hottest, richest, highest status men.

I believe men go after these hot girls a) as status symbols b) as some sort of "conquest" or "achievement" c) to make other men admire them or make other men jealous. Because an average looking girl who is really horny for you is better than some hot girl who has no interest in you and you must simp very hard to even keep her attention for a few seconds.

HumanSockPuppet · 2021-06-26T16:53:42+00:00

Prefer her for what purpose?

The type of woman a man will have sex with can be different than the type of woman a man will LTR-up.

Christian_Kong · 2021-06-26T17:01:36+00:00

Well, yes people can prefer an physically average person over a physically above average person based on the other things they bring to the table.

It's obviously not ideally the case for really any men or women. You are unlikely to find anyone who can't be improved upon in some capacity. I don't think these people are sitting around wondering about theoretical situations though.

palindromia · 2021-06-26T17:01:48+00:00

I can honestly say that yes I prefer average women. Women who are "excessively attractive" (I'll call them) tend to have personalities that I find undesirable. Their looks gain them so much attention that they never develop a genuine personality and with a buffet of dating options always available they seldom ever learn fidelity either. Average women were forced to actually develop those things and as such make for much better partners, in my opinion. In fact, women who put way too much effort in their appearance kind of turn me off.

AidsVictim · 2021-06-26T17:03:14+00:00

I don't bother pursuing highly attractive women nor has any ever shown any interest in me (I'm above average looking but not on the level of "stunning" women). The only way I would bother is if she gave some indication she was interested and she seemed like she had a grounded personality (i.e. she had "average" hobbies and jobs, no involvement in modeling/media, not huge into social media, not obviously narcissistic).

I wouldn't say I "prefer" average women, I've been highly attracted to women some men consider very average but I considered especially beautiful.

Do most men end up settling but secretly wishing they could have a hotter girl?

Men always fantasize about the bodies of attractive women, that's just the nature of the male sex drive. Most guys in a happy relationship are not secretly wishing they could have a hotter girl though.

Would you trade up if you could?

I'm mid 30's and the idea of "trading up" in looks over the investment you have with your partner seems idiotic.

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

They could yes. Are they going to go for men who have a high likelihood of that (i.e. not constantly trying to shoot above their looksmatch?) Depends on the woman.

M3taBuster · 2021-06-26T17:05:53+00:00

I don't prefer women that I consider average over women that I consider stunning. However, I have often found that the women I consider stunning are not the same women that other women and the media consider conventionally attractive.

Unknown_Shock · 2021-06-26T17:13:40+00:00

I personally have been told by many people, other guys and girls, that my girlfriend isn’t that pretty. I could go for much prettier but I love her more than any other woman. Most woman I’ve met that are “stunning” are self centered woman who harass there S/O. I also personally think my girlfriend is beautiful no matter what others say. Long story short: Yes, I do, can’t answer for all men but I do

CantBonkThis · 2021-06-26T17:14:30+00:00

Oh hell yeah. As I've said in one of the earlier threads about ideal partners, give me a girl as unattractive as possible while still attractive to me. I'm not a Chad and I have a low self esteem though.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-06-26T17:56:45+00:00

Virtually all men. Keep in mind three things:

Average women are pretty. A 5 in my view is a woman who is baseline pretty, and has untapped looks potential for whatever reason. Being under a 5 essentially means a woman is deformed or fat.
The truth behind the hot/crazy matrix. Funny because of the truth behind it
The very most sexually attractive women are almost always only that: sexually attractive. They're often the most entitled, the least loyal, least grounded, and the worst wife/mother prospects.

Yes, I will always look at sexy women and be sexually aroused. But would I want to wife them up? Not really.

In my opinion, there are ways to end up in a marriage with an 8 or a 9 and be successful in that marriage, but that wasn't the focus of the question.

LondonLobby · 2021-06-26T18:12:23+00:00

These days just not being overweight is average looking.

Brilliant-Hornet1916 · 2021-06-26T18:39:40+00:00

A lot of men prefer closer to average women because

Average women will get less attention from attractive and high value men, so there is less competition
Stunning woman who is way more attractive than her boyfriend holds a lot more power in the relationship, and is more likely to want to upgrade to a man who is on her level. She will have not only have infinitely more dating options than her boyfriend, she'll be able to attract men who are better than her boyfriend so there's a much greater chance she cheats on him or monkeybranches to another guy. Stunning women will often feel like they're doing their boyfriends a favour just by being with them.
When dating a stunning woman the man will have to endure jokes and comments everywhere he goes - "she's out of your league", "what is she doing with you? You must be rich". This will get tiresome, and these attitudes will also reinforce the idea in the woman's mind that she can do better and he's lucky to be with her.

HDF_ · 2021-06-26T18:41:57+00:00

I'm at the point where I have no idea if there is a woman out there for me. All this stuff on the web indicates that love isn't real and completely conditional anyway. I have no intention of settling down and I am just trying to raise my value to be able to do what I want.

But I'll be damned if I am going to put in all this work at my job and the gym for years to go home to a chick that I'm not attracted to. Get the fuck out of here. I want a damn reward for the work I put in and I did not get some silver spoon to the sexual market place.

NockerJoe · 2021-06-26T18:52:19+00:00

Hasn't it been a longstanding cultural trope for decades that men don't ask out the hottest women because rhey assume she's taken or out of their league? Average women get asked out more than hot women.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2021-06-26T19:12:56+00:00

If the average woman is smart, self sufficient, takes care of herself, has a good sense of humor, and has her shit together I'd much rather have someone like that than a hot girl who is an alcoholic/addict has mental health issues, is dumb as a bag of hammers, has no ambition and drive, or is a narcissist. Also I wouldn't bang someone I didn't like at least a little but. But that's just me.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-06-26T20:17:04+00:00

Yes. As a guy who has dated a bunch of good looking chicks, they’re mostly entitled little shits or just have 0 personality. You wouldn’t believe how quickly that sweet, innocent looking girl turns into a fucking monster as soon as you tell her that you don’t want to date her and no amount if crazy monkey sex will change that.

There’s a reason the crazy vs hot scale exists…

Behind every hot chick, there’s a dude that’s sick and tired or fucking her.

sootlord · 2021-06-26T20:50:23+00:00

I just want one thats skinny.

throwwie234 · 2021-06-26T21:42:57+00:00

Average women are invisible to men to the point they outright deny their existence.

Men might get into some form of relationship with them, but they leave them without a glance if the hot girl give them the slightest chance. They'd follow the hot bimbo like faithfull doggies.

I'd recommend average girls to maximize their looks as uch as possible and use men as much and ruthlessly how they use plain women.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-06-26T21:57:14+00:00

Raises hand

First-- gotta say one thing that might come off cunty. I'd never actually date an average or ugly woman. They would have to be at least above average attractiveness. I did my time when i was obese and I'm never going back lol.

Anyways, yes. I'm dating a woman who is not the most attractive I've ever hooked up with. I find her incredibly attractive of course, and i have to beat off other dudes with a stick half the time we go out (not literally lol) so evidently others do too. Yet I'm dating her because she's attractive AND. attractive AND smart. Attractive AND educated and eloquent, and coming from a non divorced upper middle class family, and met me while i was (am) a young masters student earning $0, AND industrious, conscientious, sociable, high earning and good with money, motherly, and generally kind.

So, in conclusion,

Like because they like her as a person, and wouldn’t choose a prettier girl even if they could?

YES

Or are all men just trying to optimise and get the hottest girl they can?

For sex, not for love

Do most men end up settling but secretly wishing they could have a hotter girl?

i don't know about most men. But I'm satisfied

Do you like your partner for who they are, or are they just the best you could do?

the former, but also the latter, since i sincerely doubt i could find a different girl with her nonphysical qualities in addition to her being attractive

Would you trade up if you could?

doubtful, but i guess you can never know right?

Will average/ or below average girls ever be truly loved and desired?

the harsh truth? Yes, but only by average or below average men.

Philip8000 · 2021-06-26T22:16:58+00:00

I've fallen for more than one woman who wasn't considered conventionally attractive. I had feelings for the smartest girl in school throughout my high school years. She was good-looking, but not one of the stunning girls; she didn't return the feelings, though.

Yes, physical attraction matters, but it's not the most important trait. Loyalty, kindness, intelligence are all more vital to me, though I can only speak for myself.

newzalrt883 · 2021-06-27T00:53:26+00:00

yea sort of I mean I'm much more likely to be heartbroken by a stunning girl, and I'd probably feel like i could be more of my nerdy self without being judged.

OmegaBaby · 2021-06-27T00:56:43+00:00

ABSOLUTELY! I prefer average women. So-called “hot” women are a turnoff for me. If you’re hot, I assume you live life on easy mode and are probable entitled and spoiled. No thanks. Even sexually I’m more attracted to average than supermodel.

Tek_Analyst · 2021-06-27T03:04:05+00:00

So the answer to this is it depends:

I’ve been with a pretty girl and chose a prettier girl because I was more attracted but STILL liked her personality.

However prior to doing that I had opportunities with more attractive women that I just couldn’t see myself with.

So the answer is, looks is the first step. But their needs to be chemistry as well.

Physiologist21 · 2021-06-27T03:35:51+00:00

Everyone always wants the best of everything. Men, however, are much more practical than women and understand that there are tradeoffs for everything and you can't have it all. We are perfectly fine enjoying what we have and the vast majority would gladly prefer an average looking girl who is loyal and brings peace over an attractive cunt.

These neurosis you are worried about via your questions don't exist in a lot of cases because men don't think like women. You are just projecting females default.

drew8311 · 2021-06-27T06:47:17+00:00

There is a high correlation between you liking a girls personality and her liking yours. The more important factor here is how much she likes you. It would suck being married to a stunning woman who eventually in marriage was just not that into you, rarely had sex and constantly worrying about other men interested in her while dealing with those issues.

Negative-Main4490 · 2021-06-27T07:35:20+00:00

Most men are highly insecure and 9/10 would approach an average woman over an above average one. I think realistically most average men would prefer average women because they'd be less likely to leave them

Mysterious-Dirt-6506 · 2021-06-27T09:48:42+00:00

Most men would consider a 7 girl next door type to be the ideal for a relationship.

Mysterious-Dirt-6506 · 2021-06-27T10:22:35+00:00

You should also understand that relationships for men represent a MASSIVE investment of resources. Pretty dumb to walk away from that just for a, what, cuter nose?

Royalblue00 · 2021-06-27T12:19:22+00:00

The women I felt were special were pretty and not STUNNING. I know a lot of stunning women that are bland, bleak, stale, boring, as exciting as unseasoned oatmeal. So yes, I feel that the women with the best personalities are anywhere from 5/10 to 8/10. Average looking women are dope IF their personality is on point which is hard because all of them ( which is to be expected ) have body image issues which doesn't help them develop that confidence they need. So when you do find an average girl looking girl that is confident, you know that she worked hard to that shit.

Admirable_Elk_965 · 2021-06-27T13:44:33+00:00

Aren’t looks subjective? Like if you’re attracted to someone doesn’t that mean they’re a 10/10 drop dead stunning person? Unless by “average” you mean people who aren’t models rolled off an assembly line. In that case, than for me yes, I’d rather date someone “average.”

Plutonic_blue · 2021-06-27T20:49:53+00:00

Yep. I’ve actually lowered my standards many times, to have these women treat me, a ripped, six pack, motorcycle riding martial artist who makes music and works a computer tech job supplying laptops to people in need....like I’m not worth it. I’ve lowered my standards only to be treated like I’m not worth shit by a basic boring girl

meltedjuice · 2021-06-28T07:15:23+00:00

It depends on the guy. Some can fall in love and be monogamous. Some can’t.

Ralman23 · 2021-06-29T01:08:16+00:00

Yes, there's like a lot of memes on that where the meme caption would say "What women think men want:" and it would a stunning woman. Then the bottom caption says "What men actually want:" and it shows a man cuddling with a woman. Keynote, basing this off a lot of reddit/instagram memes I've seen, liked, and shared on social media.

Theextremecheapskate · 2021-06-30T11:14:23+00:00

Beauty standards are subject What a man may consider ugly another man will consider the most beautiful thing

Holler4Heller · 2021-07-08T18:06:21+00:00

Any woman I’ve actually fantasized about has been very pleasant and good natured but not always attractive by any stretch of the imagination

Title	Are there men who actually PREFER an average woman over a stunning one?
Author	AcadiaLeather5071
Upvotes	36
Comments	269
Date	June 26, 2021 10:27 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o888z4/are_there_men_who_actually_prefer_an_average/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-there-men-who-actually-prefer-an-average-woman.786937 https://theredarchive.com/post/786937

Comments