NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.

yoursultana · 2022-01-31T20:05:37+00:00

Wait till her dumbass discovers being an unpaid slave for your man is the least rewarding and most depressing work of all.

VanessaViews · 2022-01-31T12:55:36+00:00

My mom drilled this into me and my sister's heads when we were going up. My fiance is a wonderful provider but I still make my own money and could leave at any moment and be financially okay.

_mooness · 2022-01-31T14:11:35+00:00

I hate how the reason for women to want to work always HAS to be because we need money. It can’t be because we are passionate about a cause, or want to advance technology, or enjoy being business savvy, or because we are talented artists, or gifted practitioners of our skills. No, it can’t be because of those reasons. It has to be because we want to liberate ourselves from men. I hate how even our triumphs are centered around men, as if it’s impossible for a women to want to work simply because she enjoys it.

Platipus6 · 2022-01-31T11:48:38+00:00

She's in for a shock when she realises working for a scrote sucks more.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-31T11:36:22+00:00

Never rely on a man for anything. If you are a SAHM you have to be independently financially secure enough to drop everything and leave with you kids if needed.

ImpressiveHat8550 · 2022-01-31T12:33:54+00:00

Working would be a lot easier for partnered women if their husbands actually did their fair share of the housework, cooking and childcare so that women didn’t work all day, all week just to come home and work all evening and every weekend. 🤭

Also, lol on the women realise working sucks….they do realise that women have been working throughout history right? Women have been maids, seamstresses, nannies, cooks, caretakers, nurses, midwives, governesses and teachers, farm hands, secretaries, servants, inntakers, factory workers, entertainers in the ballet, opera and theatre and so much more along with untold amounts of unacknowledged and unpaid work. Literally, in every corner of globe women have always worked. Just because males don’t notice women’s occupations and contributions that doesn’t mean they didn’t exist. The difference between now and then is that women can have bank accounts and we get to keep our pay checks. The flash in the pan fad of stay at home wives in the 50/60s was the exception not the norm. Goes to show that once again pick me’s and males have no idea what average women’s lives were actually like throughout history. Pathetic.

ETA: it’s interesting that on her follow up women are telling cautionary tales and males are denying that SAHM/W’s could be left homeless and hungry because tHe lAw fAvOrS wOmEn….except it actually doesn’t and after years of males screeching about not being able to leave their wives homeless and hungry in the streets they are now being allowed to do exactly that. The largest rise in homelessness is divorced women over 50. Imaginary male victimhood is hurting women…again.

BiscuitWoof · 2022-01-31T11:49:10+00:00

Amazing comment I read in response to this video:

The reason why we fought for the right to work isn’t because it’s fun to work, it’s not. But if your husband turns out to be abusive, you now have your own resources and a way to leave. Clearly you (referring to the girl in the video) missed that part.

Don’t align your freedoms to relationships

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2022-01-31T12:05:56+00:00

People are really out here acting like women fought for the right to earn our own money because we think working is fun.

hexriot2001 · 2022-01-31T12:58:24+00:00

Imagine trusting a man so much that you'd blindly rely on him. Listen to your mothers, grandmothers, and aunts before you, HAVE YOUR OWN MONEY! Second wave feminist figured this shit out already.

WandernWondern · 2022-01-31T13:05:36+00:00

I saw his contribution to a serious topic on her account (re-entering the workforce after being a SAHW) - a sexual comment. That’s it, I’ve seen all I needed to see. That + the following 18 yo thirst trap accounts + me not seeing where he even said he was retiring her - we all know how it’s going to go for her.

LonchuraStriata · 2022-01-31T11:34:07+00:00

I will never be put into a situation where I have to beg a man for money or justify my expenses to him. Never ever.

My stomach turns every time I read stuff like "I want to do/buy this sooo much but I need to ask my husband first if he allows me to", "I asked my partner for $50 to buy clothes for the kids and we had a fight", "My husband is angry because I spent $100 on a new winter coat for myself without asking him first because mine was 10 years old and falling apart. AITA?" or - always a favorite- "I want to take my pet (which is severely ill and in pain) to the vet but my husband says no because it costs too much." (while the same husband just spent $500 on his own hobby). Just to be clear: I will sell your (and my) console, car and kidneys in a heartbeat before I let one of my pets suffer unnecessarily.

BiscuitWoof · 2022-01-31T11:33:37+00:00

Search her handle in Tiktok to find the video - it’s the Top Liked one.

People in the comments were warning her of the dangers of being left high and dry with nothing. She responded by acting smug that she ‘actually trusted her husband unlike other women other there’ out and claimed it’s easy to start over and get a job, completely dismissing the fact that 20 years out of the workforce will render your degree worthless and you’ll end up struggling to find any employment.

ALSO THE KICKER - Her husband commented on her video and people found out he was following tonnes of 18 year old girls on Tiktok who make thirst traps and sexualised content. I just checked and he still is, he has no shame even when he was called out on it in the comment section.

I don’t even pity this girl - she’s a pickme fool who chooses to be wilfully ignorant and deserves her pornsick LVM husband. She will learn the hard way one day but she deserves it for leading impressionable young girls astray instead of wising up to reality.

This is how young naive girls end up cursing our sisters who fought hard for our rights - lots of ‘joke’ videos out there saying women had it better back then and wishing we didn’t have to work now. So essentially they want to trade paid labour for unpaid domestic servitude lol. These women bring feminism backwards and don’t get called out cos of the ‘women supporting women 100% of the time’ mentality.

sexualfoodpantry · 2022-01-31T13:07:29+00:00

This has always been a tempting argument for young women.

Why work, put up with shitty bosses and go through all that stress of "becoming someone and something", when you can instantly get an identity and seemingly comfy and safe a place in the world by being a stay at home wife and mother, right?

But that reasoning is extremely short-sighted and super naive.

1950s housewiving only "worked" because it was still a lot harder to get a divorce than it is now. Many were depressed AF because that's what happens when you are basically just a bangmaid who constantly gets disrespected and often has zero say about your own life since you are financially dependent on someone else. ("Mother's Little Helper", anyone?)

Once divorce laws eased up in the late 1960s, the phrase "displaced homemaker" soon became popular, as many men rushed to dump their wife for a younger affair partner. (Y'all need to read The Women's Room by Marilyn French, if you haven't.)

Working may well suck, but SAHMing sucks even harder. Stop looking at the rare cases where it seemingly worked out. You don't really know their entire story. The world has long since moved on. Being a SAHM now is a massive risk and a great way to end up a bag lady.

Buggy1218 · 2022-01-31T12:40:59+00:00

See women look at the SAHM role entirely wrong. They’re willing to live that lifestyle without the man filling his role.

My parents had a “traditional” marriage. Dad worked, mom took care of the house and kids. Every penny my dad made went into mom’s bank account to be managed by her. Dad got a weekly allowance and they decided together how to make big purchases. This way they’re both in control of the finances in their own way.

This woman’s right about one thing- this arrangement requires trust. But it has to work both ways. The man has to trust you with the money. All of it. Your financial stability depends on it. How many men that want this “traditional” arrangement are comfortable with that?

sunset_sunshine30 · 2022-01-31T16:41:07+00:00

Tell this to my cousin. Finally divorcing her rich but emotionally abusive NVM and is utterly wretched because he is giving her the bare minimum despite her being a SAHM and not developing her career. She is having to fight for every penny and it is stressful as fuck for her. She works part time in retail and is looking at at having to retrain whilst juggling three children.

Always develop your own way of making money ladies, please.

devilooo · 2022-01-31T12:11:03+00:00

“Women start realizing working sucks”

?! What do you think you will do as stay at home mom/wife ?! Work. Without. Benefits.

Don’t ever ever put yourself in a situation where you fully depend on someone else’s approval on whether you can do something for yourself.

butteryrum · 2022-01-31T18:19:01+00:00

Working might suck, but being abused by a man is worse.

citrus_sugar · 2022-01-31T13:08:33+00:00

The worst part of this situation to me is that we’ve forgotten the lessons of our grandmothers and the women before who suffered severely for the freedom women are just now starting to use.

DieMadwithScrotacity · 2022-01-31T16:51:36+00:00

Working for a company certainly isnt fulfilling. However, you think working for a corporation sucks? That doesnt even compare to how hellish your life becomes when your "boss" expects you to rub his feet and wash his clothes while he gets close to his "work wife". He knows he has you nice and trapped, because he holds the keys to your. Entire. Life. Women didnt fight for equal pay because working for a man was so cushy.

nolongerhume · 2022-01-31T12:43:10+00:00

I just saw one where a woman was bragging about being a stay at home GIRLFRIEND.

The absolute clownery. 🤡

The very least you could do if you're going to buy into this tradwife bullshit, is actually get a ring and a marriage license so you have some stake in the whole thing once it goes up in flames.

Naive-Ask-1684 · 2022-01-31T11:56:08+00:00

Most men are not willing to financially support a woman and if they do, they expect you to be a literal slave.

desertcoyoteazul · 2022-01-31T12:15:55+00:00

Ngl with all the abusive scrotes out there, should we even be having kids? Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to be a mother but my children having a worthless father is what terrifies me.

I’m fully capable of supporting myself and children as I’ve never idealized a SAHM lifestyle, that’s not my personality at all. It’s the sorry excuse for a father that always makes me question if being a mother is worth it. Scrotes are the majority and as we’ve seen the mask can sometimes take years to fall off.

drowsypillowprincess · 2022-01-31T14:14:39+00:00

It’s easy to glamorize the SAHM/W role when you’re not living it yet. When the husband is still a Disney Prince you haven’t met yet. When the kids are still catalog babies with rosy cheeks who never cry and always go to sleep on time. When you’re young and don’t yet have health issues or just the general aches and pains of aging.

Yeah, sure. That sounds like a dream. I’ll wake up every morning and make pancakes for my grateful family while the birds clean the dishes and the forest animals do the laundry. And my loving, perfect, humble prince of a husband will make so much money and never burden me with the specifics of our finances but instead give me a generous, magical allowance that’s more than I could ever ask for. I’ll spend my afternoons at Target buying whatever the fuck I want and then come home and make a happy four course dinner.

This is so much better than working in an office!

🤦‍♀️

That’s. Not. Reality.

So many posts here describes how horrific it is to be dependent on a man and how it can end in misery, abuse, and even death. And all one has to do is glance at a parenting sub to see how difficult parenting is and how homemaking is a full time job, and often one that is more laborious than a 9 to 5.

Sometimes I think what these woman want to be is a socialite: to be a 1% wife with nannies and housekeepers and enough Xanax on-demand to prevent them from caring about their husband’s affairs. If that’s the case, then these women should be out on Wall Street looking to marry wayyyy up, not glamorizing their “struggle love” with their military hubby or their Walmart boyfriend (not job shaming, just being realistic about what jobs lead to that lifestyle).

These women will learn the hard way, unfortunately, and then be trapped with a shitty husband, exhausting children, no personal income, and no marketable skills.

If that’s not Hell …

ExistentialJelly · 2022-01-31T21:56:26+00:00

My aunt was married for 30+ years. She was a stay-at-home wife and homeschooled her children at her husband's insistence. She has a high school education and no work experience. He was in a profession which required constant travel and with such, he had multiple secret affairs spanning the entirety of their marriage.

She recently found out about one long-term affair partner with whom he plotted to maximize their finances from their respective marriages and to disappear together. She applied for divorce immediately.

Well, wouldn't you know it! He hid his money, claimed bankruptcy, and had put all the bills in her name "Since you're the one always home, I trust you to manage the home and bills. I'll wire the money as needed." She now has no home (kicked out of the one she built a life in due to bankruptcy) and gets only 2 years of alimony and it's chump change at that! Now she is at the age of retiring, no savings, no education, no career, nada.

If you want to be a stay-at-home wife, that's fine. But only do so after you have an education, a work history, and have a monthly sum put into a bank account under your name for the entirety of your union. If my aunt had even put $100 a month aside for her marriage, she could have afforded a decent lawyer during this and a forensic accountant to locate the hidden money.

Zurflu · 2022-01-31T14:21:50+00:00

All it takes it getting cheated on one time and they'll change their minds lol. I understand thinking a life on a pedestal would be nice, but you have to realize that's not how the men see you. They'll switch you out the minute a prettier face says hi to them. Men already objectify us regardless, don't ASPIRE to be a replaceable object...

Get a career and you will have successful men flocking to you (probably way more men than Ms. Unemployed Wifey Material) and you can switch THEM out if you want.

Edit: turns out he follows hundreds of teen thirst trap/OF promo accounts on tik tok so I'm guessing he's already wandering... girlie better start working on her resume and hope none of those tik tok women know how to cook, clean, or fuck better than she does since that's all she has going for herself in her current setup.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2022-01-31T14:28:54+00:00

Nobody (certainly no feminist conspiracy) is stopping women from being housewives today. The reason most don’t is that it frankly sucks—the hours tend to be as long as an office job or longer, there are no benefits, and there is no pay, just recriminations that you are spending “his” hard-earned money. You can also be terminated at any time, for any reason, with no recourse or severance pay, and you can’t put it on a resume. If SAHP/homemaker was actually so much better than working, men would be doing it and forcing us to support them. But it’s not.

The decline of real wages does mean everyone has to work longer hours for less (including some women joining the workforce who don’t want to), and that sucks. But it’s not the fault of the suffragettes, FFS—blame corporations that want to skim the top off their profits for executives and shareholders.

thewetdog_ · 2022-01-31T12:05:44+00:00

I took close to two years off during pandemic (because of moving to my ex fiancé, then pandemic hit then unraveling of the relationship, etc) and with top tier graduate degrees and solid 5 years of specific post grad experience, got a job paying about 110k less (-80k + variable bonus) than I did before pandemic. It’s not even remotely close to worth it. You can never anticipate the kind of hit you’ll take. And you will very likely come to rely on yourself only all over again.

And I work about 95-105 hours a week (edit: biweekly!💀💀sorry) It’s extremely sobering and you don’t get used to it. Luckily it’s just me, no kids. And I had property and used my money wisely when I made it. But damn. Don’t do it. I’ve been working for just three months now but I don’t think I’ll recover this year or even the next. I did take the time to get licensed in another jurisdiction, but money wise ⚰️ (even status wise).

This is the same amount of time I used to think was reasonable for maternity leave - but no. I don’t see it working it out now and I now I understand why more senior women were always reluctant to leave the workforce even for a year.

I hate to say but unless you have leave that guarantees your job will be waiting for you after you tend to your baby, you are better off pumping in the break room than walking away from your job.

I left mine a month before pandemic, expecting to be working within six months at my new location and look what happened lol. Don’t put yourself at extra risk for the unpredictable.

Ok-Performance5997 · 2022-01-31T12:37:12+00:00

LOL I’m not going to let these discussions be hijacked by wannabe Tradcon wives.

No, working does not suck. Working an exploitative and/or personally unfulfilling job sucks. Working whilst having a partner who doesn’t meet his obligation to care for the house and kids, sucks.

I don’t want to reduce my life to just facilitating the lives of others. I don’t want my days reduced to doing laundry and making school lunches. I’m educated, intelligent, competent & skilled. I have intellectual interests & passions. I want to pursue a career in something I love & have an aptitude for. I want to receive money & benefits in return for that work. I want to contribute more than just another mouth to feed to the world.

A woman should not be exchanging all of her labour, her freedoms, education, and personal ambitions for male acceptance. It’s not only stupid to rely on a man to survive this way, it’s also not as easy going, feminine ✨💅& fulfilling as you think it will be. It’s a 24hr/7 thankless job that gives you no real wage, benefits, pension, or security. Meanwhile your working female counterparts will be moving ahead in life. They’ll have a broader social life & a greater access to the opportunities the world has to offer. They certainly won’t have to justify and bargain for the things they want to buy, like a child asking for pocket money from their parents.

Davina33 · 2022-01-31T12:30:37+00:00

It's easy for her to be smug now. What happens when she has a baby? What about if she falls sick? We know most husbands/partners leave their sick wives. She is in a risky situation. I would recommend any woman not be in this position. Men are fickle and you're vulnerable.

Mcccy · 2022-01-31T15:03:08+00:00

Hopefully every time I see comments like that I always see women begging them to rethink the whole SAHM thing cause 99% of the time it sucks.

Cause even if you're lucky to have a man that respects you, literally EVERYONE else will call you a lazy, gold-digging unemployed leech.

Plus your kids will also grow up in this hellhole and will think of you this way as well cause yoUre NoT WoRkInG JuST siTinG hOme aLl DaY!

It's a 24/7, unpaid, isolating job that NEVER ENDS. At least with a normal job you can retire at old age but now you're a unpaid maid till you can't move.

KateJ1982 · 2022-01-31T23:14:29+00:00

Yeah, work kinda does suck. But the insidious thing about being a SAHM is that you're giving up your most important career building years. Working retail, or starting to climb the corporate ladder - it sucks. But making it into management or building up your own business leads to making more money, becoming more valuable, having more autonomy and flexibility. So it sucks a lot less after awhile. Women who exit the work force in their mid twenties will never make up that lost time. If they ever want to or have to re-enter the workforce, they'll be worse off than they were in their twenties, facing rampant sexism and ageism and only able to get crappy jobs. Which happens all too often - usually because the man cheats or abandons her, but also could be due to death or disability.

To say nothing of the self-esteem and independence of making your own money as compared to having to ask a man for it.

On the other hand, having mom at home full-time is great for the kids and the man's career and the family in general. It's just terrible for the woman. And even if the husband is healthy, honest respectful, generous and loyal, families often need two incomes to keep up with taxes and inflation and save for retirement.

It's just sad.

And then there's the fact that working mothers are not progressing as quickly or as far in their careers as men in the same cohort because they're exhausted from managing the household, caring for the kids, and for all too many women, dealing with the additional stress of a useless scrote. It's a no win situation.

Commercial_Place9807 · 2022-01-31T14:30:03+00:00

I’ve seen this several times on TikTok. These girls are idiots. Ok, yes IF you have a back up plan, IF you have an education, IF you have an amazing resume, fine maybe take a work break, or work less, but be ready at all times for any man to fuck you over.

Some of them aren’t even married but girlfriends. I hope they have money in a savings account somewhere or like rich parents.

the-worst- · 2022-01-31T14:53:05+00:00

As a sahm of 2 toddlers... this isn't a dream life. You have to work as hard, if not harder, than a paying job. Especially worse if you have a mental issue that relies on structure and schedules like adhd, because you are pretty much only accountable to yourself (if your husband isn't a dick).

East-Willingness513 · 2022-01-31T12:27:53+00:00

I’m a SAHM and married to a thoroughly vetted HVM. If things goes wrong, I get half. I also will have family support and my country has pretty good benefits for single mothers. I’m also studying to further myself once I go back to work in a few years. My husband also splits his retirement fund with me through his work so I’m not missing out on that while I’m home. You CAN be a sole SAHM but make sure you’re smart about it.

MissSommer · 2022-01-31T13:42:02+00:00

Yeah I wish I was a housewife, but for no man, just me and doggo and maybe get some kittens too. Actually I wish I could be a witch who never left the house unless to go to the fields to run with doggo and collect herbs. But alas, I have to work so I am that woman in my free time.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-01-31T21:22:06+00:00

Making a living is not impossible. Being the slave of one person isn't stability. It's erasure. These women need to be called out.

PicoPicoMio · 2022-01-31T22:37:50+00:00

Always have a job or side hustle if you’re a SAHM. Men will gladly tell you all the ways you aint shit for daring to be a homemaker and a hands-on parent.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2022-02-01T01:44:56+00:00

These women usually learn their lesson the hard way. It’s time for us to let them.

If they feel bold enough to curse women’s right to work, then they deserve what’s coming to them.

There’s a special place in hell for Pickmes who call for abolishing women’s rights.

masterofthebarkarts · 2022-01-31T14:45:30+00:00

Alright, unpopular comment time: I've been financially dependent on my husband for the last 16 months while I struggled with a new chronic illness.

In that time we've continued to contribute to my savings and investments. I have $20k available if I need to walk away tomorrow that he has no access to. I have another ~100k in retirement savings that I could tap if I really needed to. I also own half our house, obviously. We have no shared credit instruments. I have friends and family I could call up today if I needed to get out suddenly for some reason.

Would I recommend this? No, of course not. But if I insisted on staying at work I would have gotten a whole lot sicker for a whole lot longer. Sometimes you HAVE to depend on someone else. Life doesn't always work out the way you plan.

I'm heading back to work in February and I'm grateful that I was able to step away when I did. My husband has been exemplary throughout, has supported me 100% and never once made me feel like he resented me or the help I needed.

My advice would be: ALWAYS have money of your own, have a plan if you need to leave work, and be ready to bounce if your man makes you feel like a burden because you deserve so much better.

WorkaholicParty · 2022-01-31T17:26:38+00:00

There has to be a psyop at play here. The European Union Parliament has elected a new president who is a woman very much against abortion. The US is also heading that way. So many articles are blaming the decline of birthrates on women's and little girls choices implying too much education is doing us wrong. Female Tiktokers promoting stupid bimbo housewife tradie bullshit lifestyle are thriving. Religious fundamental conservative women and female influencers are being strumentalized. Men and women are espousing MRA shit thinking they're being woke.

WOMEN PROTECT YOUR WOMBS.

kibitzer_ · 2022-01-31T17:20:45+00:00

Squash the lie that women “entered the workforce” in the 60s.

Women gained access to better jobs. They started to gain legal protections, like the right to not be fired after marriage. And baby-boom babies were starting to become adults, so mothers who were able to stay home began to have more time to fill.

My great-grandmother didn’t work because she wanted to, she worked because her husband drank his pay. She spent her day cooking, cleaning, and minding children - then went home and did the same for her own family. My grandmother worked until her first pregnancy, because she would have been pushed out eventually anyway. Thankfully that meant she had savings of her own - in cash, because she couldn’t have a bank account. My grandfather was a good man and worked his ass off - until he became too sick from kidney failure and died in his 50s. Thankfully he had a pension, so she wasn’t high and dry for the last 30 years of her life. How many people have that today?

This gets presented as “would you rather rely on a boss who can fire you or a husband who loves you?” Finding a new boss is a lot easier. Husbands can “fire” you too, and they themselves can be fired by their boss. Relying on a husband is still relying on a boss, just indirectly (which is to say, with less control).

Elena1684 · 2022-01-31T19:04:49+00:00

I’m a 55 year old former SAHM. 3 years ago he left me for a coworker. Last week I paid my rent with a credit card because he was a bit late paying me alimony.

I’m okay because he’s a LVM who follows court orders but I’m still poor. Men get all upset when they have to pay alimony but I wouldn’t have food without it.

I regret getting married and I regret quitting my job because the economy is terrible. This woman has no idea what she’s in for.

lolmemberberries · 2022-02-01T00:19:12+00:00

My mom and sister were/are both stay at home wives and mothers. They both work more than I do. Unlike them, I get paid for the overtime I put in.

That being said, an ex of mine's mom left the workforce early in her marriage to his dad (she was in her early thirties). She re-entered the workforce when he was a teenager (in her mid to late forties). More than ten years later, she told me still earned $10,000 a year less than she did when she left and during that time period she had also gone back to school to get a degree (an associate's degree, but it was education she didn't have when she started her career). Women often pay a very high cost for choosing to stay home.

CrazyPaine · 2022-02-01T01:20:52+00:00

He's gonna hurt her so bad. I feel pit for her. All of those things help him maintain his house, appealing to his standards of her image and beauty. Woo boy. All of those things that she's doing is not an achievement, it's mediocre at best.

SerialGeneralist · 2022-01-31T12:03:11+00:00

I feel that SAHM definitely benefits the kids BUT it’s smart to either have a small business or work from home job. There is nothing wrong with having cushion money in case your husband starts to abuse you or cheat. I’m just gonna say I’ve seen way too many women I know who kept popping out kids just for their man to start acting like a fool. One was even physically abused when she was pregnant. She only stuck around because she didn’t have the resources to take care of their children (they have 4) by herself but she’s currently in school to become an RN. She felt trapped and that was my wakeup call to never stop working. Luckily I don’t want kids but if I did best believe my coins will be saved and I will have a stash. So in case my future husband decides to act stupid, I’m out! It definitely helps to have your own as a woman. We really don’t need to put up with bullshit at home anymore. I honestly can’t 100% trust a man to take care of me because they just switch up too fast in my opinion.

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2022-01-31T17:42:34+00:00

I haven’t read all the comments but my gut instinct is: yes working sucks, especially under capitalism, but you know what sucks more? No raises or ability to leave for better pay and more appreciation. Being a stay at home wife is a gamble, maybe you picked a good partner who will always treat you well but if you don’t? Best of luck trying to survive with no marketable skills in a place that doesn’t value care work at all.

Possible-Lobster-436 · 2022-01-31T17:18:22+00:00

These women are so naive.

For every SAHM mom that “makes it” there are 10 who suffer from their spouses trading them in for a younger model, getting stuck in an abusive relationship, or suffer from mental health problems because being a SAHM is the least forgiving job ever since everyone (your kids and husband) treat you like crap. I mean just hear the horror stories of 1950s housewives. Many had to be institutionalized because of the abuse they suffered.

These handmaidens are an enemy to womankind everywhere. They can do what they want but they have no right to force everyone into their ideals. They are in for a rude awakening when they realize the “white picket fence” is a facade just like the American dream.

No-Village-3946 · 2022-01-31T19:01:27+00:00

We'll see what she says when she's given that guy a decade of her life and a couple kids and he trades her in for his 20-something secretary. Sad part is she made a follow-up tiktok in response to somebody accusing her of having too much faith in her man, to which she said that as long as you have a degree and a resume, you can always end up getting a job later when "things goes south." What she's missing is that it's hard enough to get work without a giant gap on your resume, a bitter divorce, and kids. Also, with no experience on your resume or very little experience from many years ago, who will hire you? Are you going to be getting an entry level job at your age and try supporting kids on that salary? Who will watch the kids when you're working? Do you have childcare money? Do you even have money to hire a divorce lawyer to get alimony and child support? No. Because that man you relied on for survival didn't even give you access to the money. You had to ask permission to buy groceries probably. I volunteered at a legal aid type organization and remember having to help these women fill out child support requests when their husbands walk out on them. Those women never know where the money is, where it's coming from, how to get a job, how to file taxes, how to do anything. Just living like a child in their own home. The same women who were taunting working women about getting to sleep in and raise their children in peace and comfort, away from the long early morning commutes, late nights playing catch-up, rat race, office politics, sexual harassment etc. But in the end, they always end up falling flat on their face because the man they relied on for survival views them as dead weight after he got what he needed out of her. As she sits at home, widening the gap on her resume and not gaining skills or building a network, he climbs up the ladder, from manager to senior manager to executive to vice president etc (shutting out women trying to compete all the while because they don't have the luxury of having a bangmaid at home like he does). And then when he's at the top, he believes he's the king of the jungle and can do way better than her. Then she'll get the boot for a working girl half her age. At least that girl has a life and things going for her. Tale as old as time. Though I'm sure she thinks it'll be different for her, because they always do. No woman works for the sheer joy of it. I work because I can't trust anyone in this world to provide for me and I have too much pride to ever be in a position where I will have to struggle in the event that someone runs out of mercy for me.

Peak_Tree · 2022-02-01T00:20:10+00:00

Someone on twitter said she believed this was goverment propaganda or something....and *puts on tinfoil * I'm inclined to believe maybe some lobbies really do push to make this kind of thing more mainstream.

MorthaP · 2022-01-31T17:19:12+00:00

It's so annoying when some woman goes 'working SUCKS all women would be happier at home' speak for urself sis I enjoy my work and would give anything if I was allowed to actually come to the office right now. Like why is anything a singular woman feels always something that must be applied to all of womankind? Stay home if thats ur thing but leave me out of it

bodybyxbox · 2022-01-31T15:56:50+00:00

Work culture is toxic and full of misogynists who would rather cut off their own nose than implement a woman's ideas. Being a bangmaid to any man is, of course, terrible too. Maybe an ok vacation during the honeymoon phase, but certainly not a long term life path. My solution to this conundrum is radical. I bought land and quit my 6 figure job. I live at poverty levels right now, working part-time for the man making so little I qualify for Medicaid. But I am on my way to opening up my own camping business with a homestead. Live in a tiny house of my design. Work and play by my rules. Everything as I like it, but still in community with others. If a man is nice enough, I may let him live with me, or camp nearby, but I can quickly toss him as soon as I get sick of his shit. Don't settle for a shit boss or a shit husband; build your own life with friends and family doing what brings joy.

Jenniferinfl · 2022-01-31T14:43:18+00:00

This poor dummy..

I didn't exit the workforce willingly- I was laid off when it became obvious I was pregnant. It took me 4 years to find a part time job again and another 2 years to finally get a fulltime job again earning $12 an hour. Not enough for the crappiest apartment around.

This fool is going to be living with her parents if she's lucky enough to have parents that will take her in. OR she's going to have to go right to whatever relationship she can find next. The type of guy willing to let a single mom with kids move right in with him is often enough a guy who likes kids in a horrible way. She's going to be using her kids as bait to have a place to live.

I've seen it plenty of times myself. If he's already publicly following all those barely of age girls, then you can bet he's cheating while traveling. Medical sales is a lot of traveling. Granted, he may be willing to keep her around as free help around his house, but, he'll be sleeping with everything he can sleep with. Probably cheated on her a ton already.

sool47 · 2022-01-31T14:44:31+00:00

I mean, yeah, work sucks but that's another issue, we all still need to have jobs so when something happens we're not left out in the streets begging for food. Like, even assuming your partner is God's gift to earth, he could still die, he could still get injured and disabled. Life happens. So ok, maybe he won't leave you or abuse you but he could still get hurt and be in a position where he can no longer work. So what would a woman that hasn't worked for 10 years do then?

I think this trend of "women realizing working sucks" it's less of a "work sucks" and more of a "working a job 8 hours a day only to go back home and having to do chores and raising kids while the husband's watch tv" is what's encouraging this type of thinking. Yeah, a job sucks, specially for women with all the crap male bosses and sexual harassment put us through. But doing that and having to STILL take care of all household chores including your husband because he is useless on top of kids is what's draining this women out. They probably think "Why get a job, take care of husband, kids and household when I can just take care of husband, kids and household?". Which is a product of male privilege, and husbands doing little to help women at home.

I have seen this with my friends complaining about the requirements for work. Like being forced to wear high heels, skirts, make up, being harassed by men, being dismissed and underappreciated by management, etc AND having to do laundry for everyone at home, having to plan school for the kids, birthdays, caring for older relatives, cleaning, cooking,etc. Of course this women instead of realizing the husband needs to be thrown away, think the solution is to not work and only be a SAHM..because working or not at a paying job, most women are taking care of 90% of household chores and raising kids.

My life only started to improve when I realized that, even though job office work sucks, I get my own money and as for household chores? I decide what to do about my own and don't get a boyfriend that will only be an added chore. So I just plan around, maybe eat outside, maybe organize better. But it's just my mess and not some man-child mess. And I get to have my money to buy whatever the hell I want.

Surrealisticslumbers · 2022-01-31T23:09:18+00:00

Yeah. Women always have worked, in jobs like being a washer woman, milkmaid, governess and other professions coded as female. These jobs were grueling and paid very little. Luckily, women can now enter fields previously off-limits to them. Men were furious when women began entering well-paying trades, i.e. HVAC and welding. Too bad. We like our financial independence!

Asian_Brunette · 2022-01-31T13:54:26+00:00

There is nothing wrong with being a mum or staying at home. But fully depending on your spouse financially, is also not an intelligent move. Women(married or unmarried) shouldn't compromise on finances!

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floweringfungus · 2022-01-31T15:01:16+00:00

My grandmother drilled financial independence into me over and over again. Every birthday since I turned 18 she’s given me an expensive piece of jewellery for the sole purpose that I can sell it and be more financially secure should I need to at some point

NeatClean3715 · 2022-01-31T16:33:45+00:00

Relying on a man financially opens the doors to abuse. Sorry but this is true. When you rely on a man financially you are also brainwashed and way more likely to stay in a BS relationship/tolerate nonsense because how "comfortable" you are with the fact that you don't need to move a finger to get things taken care of. This is also true and I see this all of the time. Married men who are breadwinners cheating on their stay at home wife, wife will overlook and tolerate this because "hey, atleast he pays for everything and I don't have to worry about bills etc". Justifying the infidelity, "atleast the money comes to me and the other woman is getting crumbs etc". Married man will thus be more confident to cheat and participate in other narcissistic behaviour because, "hey, she isn't leaving I provide everything financially for her and the kids". This never plays out well and women who do this don't realize they are actually losing lol.

iDreamofCarbs69 · 2022-01-31T17:13:55+00:00

Letting a man financially control you, leaving with you with no options and homelessness if you try to escape his control and abuse is worse than working. I hope these women don’t ever have to figure that out the hard way.

StrawberryChocQueen · 2022-01-31T17:26:02+00:00

Let’s hope her man will provide for her. I’ve experienced how you’re treated if you don’t have your own money and have to ask for an allowance through my mother who is a SAHM. Her and my father would always argue about money and she’d always has to ask him for money for things like going to the hairdresser, for example. I would never, ever quit my job for a man, even if he was a millionaire.

TenSevenBlue · 2022-01-31T18:50:12+00:00

The stay at home life is idealized? Not for me!

Rich_Lie6998 · 2022-01-31T19:47:13+00:00

I feel sad. Women before us fought so hard and this naive woman decided to throw it all out. There's value in house chores, giving up her power to negotiate and relay on a man just suicidal in this day and age.

eatsumsketti · 2022-01-31T21:30:29+00:00

As someone who has worked a demanding job, it is so tempting to say fuck this, let me be a trophy wife. But so few men actually want to be the breadwinner and/or treat their partner with respect.

I'm working towards eventually being a woman of leisure [financial independence...maybe retire early].

hollsmm · 2022-01-31T22:10:34+00:00

Having to rely on a man to survive is a bad place to be. Having to rely on anyone for that matter

Uruzdottir · 2022-01-31T22:16:49+00:00

One way or another, you're going to work.

The issue is whether you will have control over your life, or whether you will be forced to compulsively people-please your master, Sugar Daddy, out of fear of what will happen to you and your children if you don't.

Born-Intention6972 · 2022-02-01T05:05:17+00:00

men come and go but ur money and your ability to earn the money is ultimately yours

warinmymind94 · 2022-01-31T19:47:44+00:00

Working does not "suck"

We worked as women to have our right to work. Let me also remind this young tick tocker that it is a lot EASIER to clock into a 9 to 5 then come home, eat dinner, watch TV, and head to bed for the next day RATHER than being the housewife.

A housewife does at LEAST 10 JOBS she is a maid, a chef, secretary, pet sitter, nurse, caregiver to the kids, teacher, handyman (fixing things, or making sure things get fixed), sex doll, and therapist.

NaturalWitchcraft · 2022-01-31T18:27:52+00:00

I’ve been a stay at home mom and worked well over full time and being a stay at home mom is so much harder than working. They’re going to get a slap in the face when they realize that being a stay at home mom is more work and nobody appreciates it.

sunflower_dreams · 2022-01-31T21:06:24+00:00

This is the most cringeworthy video! 🤮 how can some people be so ignorant?

Eastern-Violinist-46 · 2022-02-01T01:44:05+00:00

A).Before I begin my rant, let me preface my comments by stating being a SAHM is a wonderful gig if and when the situation is in everyone's favor. In other words, when both parties can agree that there is an even exchange, no robberies. I, myself, am a product of such an arrangement from which I benefited greatly .First and foremost,I am eternally grateful to God that my mother was "allowed" the opportunity to stay at home( for lack of a better term ) in spite of my father's meager wages as a factory worker. With that being said, I was quite sickly as a child and my mother often had to retrieve me from school sometimes on the first day so it made fiscal and emotional sense for her to stay at home. Once it became clear that my mother would be unlikely to maintain long term employment due to my illnesses, my father encouraged her to stay home. Having witnessed the slander they both endured from both sides of our family- I had no choice but to appreciate the sacrifices made by both individuals for the good of the collective. I would not be where I am today without the environmental upbringing that I received from my SAHM. I am not naive and am very much aware that the things have changed significantly, therefore one cannot enter such a covenant with blinders on. Companies uproot and spouse's commit suicide everyday ( so there goes the life insurance). Most men have an aversion to long -term commitments.History ( which has a tendency to repeat itself) has proven that men are capricious beings who will chew you up and spit you out without even the courtesy of burping for the sake of self- preservation. Now that I got that off of my chest, I have observed that I don't live in a Pollyanna world which is why...

B).Google the name William Edward Bosarge

C). Being employed at the mercy of a spouse= at will employment. Which also means if there is an in house employment "opening" that needs to be filled, you my dear will be part of the first of the last to know. Also, if this man feels his marital constraints have him tethered should you "disappear", it might be a while before any one notices.

D). Done!

frogchickenhorse · 2022-02-01T04:30:48+00:00

Working does suck but what is worse is being trapped without a way of getting out of the situation. Try getting a job after being sahm for 20 years with no work experience. You will be broke for years, scraping by. Kids relying on you.

Bellairtrix · 2022-02-01T04:34:29+00:00

THIS!! Tik tok idealizes stay at home gf/wives. lol y’all never thought about IF it when you guys do break up?? Or something happens to your only financial support?? Always, always have your own finances to support yourself if something DOES happen to your relationship or S/O!

slayeroftruth · 2022-01-31T17:38:25+00:00

Most of them are not financially independent. They better get complete control over finances, money ect in beginning so they draw out cash for groceries and can safely/sneaky save a little bit of money so over time it will turn into a lot. Our reality now is women don't leave right away. These women will be able to save up good amount of money over time if they pay for groceries with cash and save extra 5 to 10 dollars to put aside every time, they get groceries. You don't want him to know you are saving money even when getting divorce so you can get as much alimony as possible.

FDSanon666 · 2022-01-31T19:33:34+00:00

Yeah, working sucks but being at the total mercy of a man is like a million times worse.

Our society is so disconnected & fragmented that younger women don’t have good relationships to older women who would tell them exactly why it’s always a bad idea to financially depend on a man.

BabyGrandPiano28 · 2022-01-31T22:29:45+00:00

If those are the things she wants to do, then go do them but get paid for them. In other words: you want to go to Pilates class and walk the dogs? Become a Pilates instructor and get a job as a dog walker. She can do all the things she listed and still get paid for them. Then if she needs to leave the marriage she has a source of income. If you want to be a housewife you need to talk to your own lawyer and put together some kind of prenup that benefits you if the marriage should not work out.

Equivalent_Crow4280 · 2022-08-04T21:17:19+00:00

I’ve seen stories from breaking moms where a house wife gets an apron and ironing board for her birthday. The husband “forgets” her birthday pretending to feel bad but does nothing to make it right such as go for a late night dinner.

Working isn’t that great but what’s worse? being saddled up with a manlet who takes you for granted when the loot is in or have your own life? At least with your career you can celebrate any occasion like a Queen. Men are the nicest to you when they haven’t slept and bred with you. Your career is kind to you forever.

Title	NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.
Author	BiscuitWoof
Upvotes	1011
Comments	171
Date	January 31, 2022 11:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sgz4w1/never_ever_financially_rely_on_a_man_naive_young/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/never-ever-financially-rely-on-a-man-naive-young.1098758 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098758

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