Weekly FDS Chat / Check-in

peachschnappsss · 2021-03-15T16:04:58+00:00

I broke up with my bf last week and I’m feeling down. For Valentine’s Day he brought a pint of ice cream he got right before coming over and a thing of chocolate I don’t even like, not even heart packaging, like come on. He knows I wanted flowers, but he said the place wasn’t open. He didn’t plan ahead at all. Last year he got me nothing, and we had a huge fight about it. But I was still a pickme, hell I am still trying to shed it.

My birthday is right after Valentine’s Day, so I wanted to see if he would put in effort for that. He said he gets so frazzled by Valentine’s Day and my birthday being close together that he tries to decide what to do for each and ends up second guessing and running out of time to prep. What a load of shit. So he makes me dinner for my birthday, but I don’t like spicy food, and he puts in a spicy ingredient he likes that I asked him not to. The whole day I’m waiting for a gift because I’m thinking no way this man didn’t get me a gift on my birthday. The time comes for him to go and still no gift. When I’m upset about him not getting me anything, he says “I made you dinner!”

I think he thinks I’m going too hard on him because he doesn’t have a job right now. But flowers, a card, etc are not expensive, and he could’ve been creative. This guy has been talking marriage and everything, but he can’t even muster up energy to treat the two days he’s expected to be a little caring right. I want someone who wants to make me smile.

Betty_Bottle · 2021-03-15T17:45:22+00:00

Got my smear test results back. I'm HPV negative 😊.

As someone who has had to have two cervical biopsies in the past, this news is a big relief!

queenagave · 2021-03-15T13:53:15+00:00

My mother straight up told me that she forgot my husband is actually 8 years older than me because I'm more of an adult than him. So that's fun.

Zayelle · 2021-03-15T22:14:43+00:00

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licoricespicedtea · 2021-03-16T13:07:38+00:00

So I just officially broke up with the LVM I’ve been dating for 3 years and live with. We are both on the lease, which ends in July. I’m super busy with work and part time grad school and told him I won’t have time to move out until the semester ends in May. I said he could move out and find somewhere cheaper (he’s in a PhD program and really shouldn’t pay for this place on his own) and that I could afford to finish this lease. Or if he wants to wait til May I’ll move out at my leisure and then he can finish the lease. He chose the latter.

Now that we are awktaco roommates for a while he has been going above and beyond to do all the household chores he never did when he was sure he “had” me, I guess to make me see the error of my ways and beg him to come back. Haha. Now that I’ve found FDS I can be sure he is only doing this because now chores are a way for him to “win the final argument”. No way he would keep doing them if we were actually together. BUT, now I get a very tidy roommate!

ETA: my dad says I need to “pause, take a breath, and see how the dust settles in a month” 🙄

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-03-15T13:03:22+00:00

Hi everybody! I didn't want to make a whole post about this so I think that just commenting here is ok. As usual, my Monday mornings are spent catching up to the news, reading the online paper etc. This article in The Guardian caught my attention since I've been living under a rock and had no idea this even happened. It's on the topic of DV - the family of the victim want answers regarding the perpetrator, why he was allowed bail when he clearly was a threat to the life of their daughter. All are good questions, challenging the laws and the police-bias in the UK .

pikkpie · 2021-03-15T12:57:59+00:00

I upvote on every comment here on a post because sometimes I go back to the post to read new comments!

truebeauty112 · 2021-03-15T15:30:53+00:00

Just watched 'MOXIE' ' on Netflix and I feel so empowered and cried in happiness! ❤️ It's everything what FDS stands for and the guy in the movie, 'Seth' is on his way to be an HVM. I just wished we had these kind of movies when I was a teen!!

Princesspeach8188 · 2021-03-15T22:58:24+00:00

I’m not sure why I forgot to post about this earlier, but for Valentine’s Day, the guy I’m dating bought me the set of pink roses (my favorite color that last a year (the $300 ones). I wasn’t even officially his girlfriend yet (he asked me a week later). I love them so much 😭

licoricespicedtea · 2021-03-18T23:21:43+00:00

I broke up with my boyfriend on Monday. He’s on a date tonight. Lettin’ me know I made the right choice 🙏😁

okeyda · 2021-03-15T15:07:04+00:00

It's crazy how family, married and taken men I'm around (I'm often in guys' company cause I hang out with my brother) hit on me, flirt with me, or straight up joke about hooking up with me or point out others I need to be "careful around". I'd enjoy it if they were single though. I'm flirty as long as I don't feel uncomfortable.

I'm also 30. Do they think it's more okay and less depraved since I'm older?

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-03-15T10:19:06+00:00

What was your journey like with feminism? Was FDS the first time you'd heard of other types of feminism?

not_a_paper_pusher · 2021-03-15T14:12:47+00:00

Last Thursday, I gave the police a video statement after reporting the man that raped and sexually assaulted me last year.

It was the first time I said it all out loud, everything that happened that night from start to finish.

It was hard and I only have a small amount of hope for justice. I’ve been dismissed by the police twice already but maybe this time they will be able to help. If not, it’s on record to assist anyone else he hurts or has hurt if they choose to come forward.

Mind-Objective · 2021-03-15T13:19:18+00:00

A person and I went hiking yesterday and there were a couple of moments where we (literally) give each other a hand to help go up the trail. Have been fixating on the “touch” component and realizing how much I miss that.

File-Own · 2021-03-16T00:21:39+00:00

my girlfriends and best guy friend had an intervention for me over video call last night and made me list out reasons why i was still sad about a breakup.

it ended up with my cry-laughing for two hours. i have the most incredibly network of people who make me feel seen and valued and constantly gas me up. feeling more at peace and have stopped spiralling which i'm psyched about.

northernlitescookie · 2021-03-17T16:53:45+00:00

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Theboredshrimp · 2021-03-15T16:11:11+00:00

I've been making a quick gluten free galette using a pan, it's so good;

half a cup of chickpea flour

half a cup of water

salt

1,5 tablespoon of olive oil

1 (full) tablespoon of either rice flour, buckwheat flour, or any other flour, personally I've been using sorgho flour

you could add some spices, cumin is delicious with chickpeas,

whisk (pancake batter consistency, maybe a little more liquid, both are fine), preheat a non stick pan, pour and wiggle the pan, medium/low heat, once "holes" appear on the surface and it hardens on top (but isn't cooked all the way) flip it and wait a little until that side turns brown too

I love to eat it with olive oil!

shecreatedherdream · 2021-03-17T04:50:55+00:00

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queenagave · 2021-03-15T13:15:57+00:00

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daisy_0720 · 2021-03-15T20:17:51+00:00

I'm worried about a friend of mine. She's a wonderful person but has this massive Pickme blind spot when it comes to men. Since breaking up with her (NV) boyfriend 6 months ago, she was involved with a couple of guys, both of whom ended up using her for sex. Now she's met another guy on Hinge. It's been 3 weeks, and she's already told me the following:

"We're inseparable."

"He's a true gentleman."

"I'm falling for him quite badly."

"I want my friends and family to meet him."

"He's a keeper."

He's 29 and she's still in her early 20's, in college. My FDS radar is blaring neon red. She basically falls hard and fast and assumes every guy she meets is The One without vetting. She has a tendency to spill all her traumas and past bad relationships early on and then get taken advantage of. She told me was done with dating for a long time after the last guy used her for sex (again, she spent the first couple of weeks telling me he was 'such a gentleman') and now I find she's already gone to try and meet someone else. It's obvious she can't be single. I've tried to drill FDS sense into her before but it just feels like a waste of time. Do I just sit back and let her make her own mistakes?

licoricespicedtea · 2021-03-16T17:36:01+00:00

Oh also I just bought a simple ring to signify my relationship with myself ☺️

advice1988 · 2021-03-15T12:29:20+00:00

Just having a whine: Have a big work presentation this week, one of our clients I’ll be presenting to is deaf, boss thinks it’s a ‘waste of resources & time’ to get a sign language interpreter, like the utter ableist emotionally stunted dull human he is. He once spent £300 on a fruit hamper !!?

Told me ‘ he can read the slides’ firstly if we got someone to interpret it would be only £90 for two hours, it shows inclusivity & that we go the extra mile for our clients and could possibly secure the contract. Might just do it out of pocket !!as I’ve spent so long establishing a relationship with them & even if we don’t get the contract, I’ll make some connections & networking opportunity’s and it’s the right thing to do.

lillylilacladybug · 2021-03-20T03:50:02+00:00

I’m brand new here and don’t want to be seen as like monopolizing the conversation or adding my two cents but I almost feel like this sub is FLS - Female life strategy. So many wonderful queens on here are just rocking out on life- killing their careers, buying houses, new cars, rocking hobbies. And are absolutely happy being single and aren’t really even looking to be in a relationship. So like I totally understand how this sub helps queens looking to navigate the dating world. But so many of these things are just necessary to know as a lady navigating life as a women, not even interested in dating. I guess what I’m saying is that the stuff discussed and shared on here is just important and invaluable to know as a women whether you’re dating or not. Thank you for providing such a safe and open space!

2021-03-16T14:47:00+00:00

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File-Own · 2021-03-16T18:11:57+00:00

Just got sexually harassed by a middle-aged man *pushing his daughter in a pushchair* whilst walking past him (conservatively dressed too). He kept staring me down (I've seen him in my area before and he's done this before too, to the point its made me uncomfortable), then licked his lips at me whilst making eye contact. I flipped him off without even looking in his direction and kept that gesture up for a while. He was pushing a toddler and still thought it was OK to make a sexual face at me? Wtf?

Turned around to see him having paused and staring back at me. I gestured angrily at him then walked away, the next time I turned around he had walked off too.

Predatory behaviour WHILST PUSHING A TODDLER... if she hadn't been there he would probably have followed me after I made the gesture at him.

Fucking LVM.

GiraffeLibrarian · 2021-03-15T16:28:41+00:00

What do y’all say specifically when a man asks you out for drinks? Just block and move on? Or give him a chance to ask a proper date?

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-16T02:32:39+00:00

I have about four female friends from college getting married this year. I'm not super close with them (anymore) but I can't help but think that these women can do better, definitely some pickmeishas :(

_narrowstraits_ · 2021-03-16T03:09:10+00:00

I’m at a loss here. My life has kinda gone to shit. I’m a college student who was supposed to be at home for spring break and now I’m taking care of my dad full time. He was disabled and then he got into a car accident, he now requires full time care like a baby. My boyfriend has moved in and we’re taking care of him but I’m at a loss as to what to do long term. We’re both college students doing online school.

pascalines · 2021-03-17T11:32:42+00:00

Would anyone else be interested in a sort of FDS book club/discussion circle? I’m an avid reader and I’m constantly reading books both fiction and non fiction that I think really fit the themes in this sub. I’d love to discuss with like minded ladies.

ironglaciers · 2021-03-15T12:14:46+00:00

Reddit app is acting up lately. Not sure what the issue is. I get connection errors and occasionally the "cannot view community" error but then I reload a few times and it works.

Irritated the last few days about everyone and everything. I am not a bastion of positivity right now. 😔

Rewindsunshine · 2021-03-15T17:08:50+00:00

Apologies if I missed this, but are there alternatives to dinner dates? I am drawing a blank with Covid keeping so much closed still in my location. I also don’t drink for health reasons so I turn those down already. I really don’t enjoy food either & always feel so meh about those dates but now starting to appreciate he planned the whole thing & never expected me to pay. I am horrified at some of the stories I have been reading on here! Every one of you deserves better!! <3

orchideerose · 2021-03-17T07:05:42+00:00

Ladies I am FUMING! A guy I had a first date with told me off via text for 'standing there and expecting him to pay for the drinks' (he paid for my hot chocolate. This same guy told me later in the conversation that he was earning good money.) I should have blocked then and there but I told him what I thought about men who expect women to pay*. And that if he wanted to talk about behaviour it would have been polite of him to have offered me his scarf when I was freezing cold. He then said I took myself for a 'princess'. Then he was blocked :) but seriously I'm despairing

Edit* for a 3 euro drink on a first date that he invited me to

RacePinkBlack · 2021-03-17T17:35:50+00:00

Y'all come look at this bullshit

https://imgur.com/a/Ud8FoFg

ello-motto · 2021-03-17T22:07:28+00:00

How LVM see feminism:

"We'll give you equal rights in splitting the bill, but not in seeing you as a complete human being. 🥴"

oddcharm · 2021-03-18T15:28:44+00:00

I'm honestly counting down the days until men start expecting women to pay for their own engagement rings since we are the ones wearing them.... I wish I was kidding but I could see that happening at this point LOL. They are so bent out of shape at the audacity of us wanting to be treated as special. They want us to bring everything to the table as a gf (wife benefits) but will seethe at the thought of treating us to a meal. I'm so over these users who pretend not to know damn well how much good a woman can bring to their life

Some dude was complaining about how awful women are for wanting nice rings on instagram the other day. When I asked him if he'd want a pawn shop watch or a Rolex he blocked me LMFAO. They fucking get it but play dumb because they can

/end rant

CoconutYogurtCEO · 2021-03-18T18:24:11+00:00

hi ladies...there's an LVM I was dating (pre-fds ugh) who dropped me like a hot potater after we hooked up when he suddenly "realized he thought he had some things handled but doesn't and still needs to figure them out" whatever a-hole. anyway, we have a lot of mutual friends and colleagues and he is generally VERRRY well-liked and popular and fun and outgoing, so it is so hard for me to reconcile this and not feel this weird instinct, to like him? because so many other people do? even though he literally USED me... has anyone else struggled with this? I have him blocked but our mutual connections do bring him up sometimes (I don't think they know about our short fling).. it's just hard to see someone who is so well-liked while also knowing how shitty he is at the core

endorphins_ · 2021-03-21T00:39:18+00:00

Anyone else look at photos of their ex and are shocked/embarrassed that they cried over HIM?!?! 🥴🥴🥴

laurencetrishburn · 2021-03-16T18:37:09+00:00

Ladies, a friend I've known for a while asked me out this morning saying, "I would love you take you out on a date and just pamper you but I've been too afraid to ask you all this while." 🥺

I thought that was really sweet but I turned him down very politely and I'm so proud of myself. I was not attracted to him and didn't want to string him along, and importanty I really did not want a guy to come in the way of my inner work/healing after a traumatic relationship.

pascalines · 2021-03-16T14:51:14+00:00

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_insert_username_01 · 2021-03-16T16:30:06+00:00

This past week was good. Last week, I had a hair styling appointment scheduled. (I got curtain bangs and layers.) This last weekend, I also went out to dinner with my family, did yard work, and went grocery shopping. I have been slowly exposing myself to the outside world and it feels good thus far! I have retaken up my photography hobby and have also been researching topics regarding mental health, trauma, etc.

aburke626 · 2021-03-18T21:31:36+00:00

I am SO angry about the murders in Atlanta. That somehow claiming to be a sex addict makes it better? That it’s ok to kill women because you’re tempted by them? It emphasizes the degree to which we are just objects. Add the objectification of Asian women by white men in there, and it’s even more classic disgusting behavior. But oh, he had such a bad day! A fight with his wife! Why does the news, the world, allow this excuse? Why are we as a society still uplifting white male supremacy?

Partypuppers · 2021-03-20T14:45:57+00:00

I'm sure this may get buried but I just had an argument with my dad. He came to visit us and when I said hello to him the first thing he did was to make a kicking motion towards me (and it wasn't the first time).

I called him out on it, I said I don't find that funny, I don't like it and I would prefer it if he could greet me with actions that are loving instead of 'pretending to kick' me. He tried to gaslight me said I was being too sensitive that I "needed to get out of the house more". I said no I think you need to stop pretending to kick me, even as a joke. I said women everywhere are sick with the violence we experience so I don't find it funny and even as a joke it's not a very good one.

Y'all he got triggered lol. He started saying "I hate it every time I come to visit you always make it difficult for me, it's like you can't stand me anymore. You're so sensitive and aggressive these days (projection much)". I said to him calmly, "I'm not particularly upset right now, I'm just telling you what I don't like and I think you should also calm down because you've also become very sensitive and easily offended these days."

Mum tried to intervene and said we should calm down and tried to explain that so many women were suffering abuse right now that even as a joke it's hard to laugh at it now. She said your daughter wants you to show her love, and to me she said your dad wants love from you too. I said I agree, that we need to show each other more love.

And at that he came over and hugged me. I think he resents me because he's in the 'not all men' crowd, he resents that I call him out on stuff. I said to him "Even if I know you won't be violent towards me I would still prefer it if you showed me love instead of 'jokes' like this." And he said "Well maybe this is how I show my love!" And I said "No sorry, violence and love should never be in the same sentence."

After we hugged, he went inside to have breakfast and mum pulled me over and hugged me. She said to me, "don't let anything upset you my dear, it's not worth it".

Edit: I have a younger sister that he does this to too, I wanted to show her it's not ok.

Summerisle7 · 2021-03-20T15:48:19+00:00

Another comment thread here made me think of this bit of dating wisdom that previous generations used to understand:

It is NOT exclusive until and unless he specifically asks you to be exclusive. Until that happens, you should be dating other people and assume he’s doing the same. If he wants to have you all to himself and be your boyfriend, he needs to explicitly cOmMuNiCaTe that and make his case as to why that would be a good thing.

Before meeting my husband, I was dating two men at once. Neither had bothered to ask me to be exclusive or to talk about the relationship. My husband, OTOH, recognized early on that he wanted to be exclusive and asked me very clearly to do that. This was years ago and before FDS, I actually felt some guilt about those other guys who didn’t know about each other! Nowadays I feel ZERO guilt. If they’d wanted to, they would’ve!

proletaricat_ · 2021-03-17T04:31:53+00:00

I recently got a new job that pays well. I’m on the operations team - which is entirely composed of women - and we work really well together. I’m also respected and asked for input and thanked for my contributions, even by the men.

Things are looking up for me for 2021, and I love that the people I will be working closely with are women who are all in higher positions in the company yet are still graceful and strict with their boundaries and expectations.

It’s good to not be surrounded by men all the time anymore. I get to do my tech stuff without being condescended to. :)

ga_shina · 2021-03-17T19:34:36+00:00

Is anyone else banned from breaking mom? I literally have never posted there and yet I’m banned 🤔

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-03-17T19:51:15+00:00

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throwaway37865 · 2021-03-18T12:50:49+00:00

After three years of online dating, I have finally found my HVM. Don’t settle ladies. This guy has made feel like a priority from the day we met without any expectations from me in return. We live a half hour from each other but he’s literally seen me 3x in a week. He even told me he wouldn’t have been on OLD if it wasn’t for Covid (so thank you pandemic lol). I love being with him and he is so respectful towards me. I’ve never once felt like I’ve compromised my self esteem or tolerated bad behavior. Instead he goes above and beyond for me. It’s really nice and I just want to give others hope on here that you will find someone who values you.

QueensJuju · 2021-03-19T00:11:19+00:00

Anyone else have trouble posting to the sub?

I made two posts, neither violate any rules, but both were removed. I didn't hear from the mods last time, I'm hoping for a response about the post I made tonight. But is this a thing anyone else has experienced? I want to participate more!

FabledAngryVillager · 2021-03-19T07:20:08+00:00

The Atlanta shooting. All the Asian guys on my Facebook talking about how it's a racism issue, not a sexism issue. Like they don't want their gender brought into it, but he's white, so they wanna focus on that instead or the shooter's religion.

Venting here because I don't know where else I can

laurencetrishburn · 2021-03-21T10:03:36+00:00

I met a girlfriend yday and she happened to mention Jordan Peterson. In my head, all the sirens went off and I thought: pickmeisha 😂😂😂 thanks FDS.

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-03-17T14:06:03+00:00

I am just feeling incredibly used. Used by my work who keep wanting me to produce more and more for clients with no additional pay, and my landlord who is increasing rent and adding fees. Why does my job get to make money off of my hard work, and why does my landlord feel entitled to 40% of my income, they own like hundreds of apartment buildings and do very little. I am in the works of changing my job and housing situation. I just feel like it's incredibly hard to reach financial security sometimes. It just makes me so mad.

daisy_0720 · 2021-03-17T22:02:47+00:00

I'm so mad.

On Monday, I went to the local tax office to renew my car registration; so a routine thing. Registration went fine and I was even surprised how smooth everything went. As I'm walking back to my car, I just randomly decided to look in a certain direction and I see a big guy staring at me from a parked truck--watching me. I immediately put my head down and speed walked to my car. Guy whistles at me. Gross but whatever. Cat calls shouldn't happen but they do.

So today, I'm walking to my mailbox not five minutes from my place. As I'm walking, same thing happened: I looked in a random direction and some guy was watching me, like I was a peice of cake; ecstatic expression but in a creepy way. I immediately change directions to avoid walking directly past his car. He starts honking at me and I just muttered "fuck" under my breath. Had to walk the 10 minute long way back around to avoid walking past him again.

Anyway, im mad because women literally cannot even do routine things without getting harassed. Not that this should matter, but it had nothing to do with looks--both times I was in house clothes and I've gained a fair amount of weight because of quarantine. I literally cannot go anywhere without my husband, because men will respect me as his, but won't respect me on my own.

Something has to change, ladies. We need to teach our sons better because I have no idea where they are learning this from.

whokilledhydra · 2021-03-18T13:24:37+00:00

I'm dating again. It's a woman I had met two years ago. I didn't want to take things further then, so we stayed friends. This year we rekindled things. It's been three weeks. Whenever she comes over, she brings something she's cooked. Whenever she leaves, she takes out my trash and recycling. We went on a mini trip and I wanted to drive my car. She offered to Uber over so I didn't have to pick her up. On the way back, I was going to drop her off, but I got very tired, so she drove me home in my car, then took an Uber back.

🥺

Also a lil sad about the Atlanta shooting.

queenagave · 2021-03-19T14:21:28+00:00

Me: orders glossy finish for a project I did on a shelf H: oh (pause diff tone) you ordered a glossy finish? Me: yup! H: cool. So you know it'll be shiny then? Me: yup.....🙄 H: oh cool they have matte finishes too, did you see that? Me: yes. JUST SAY YOU WANT IT MATTE STOP HINTING AND ACTING WEIRD. FUCCCK. COMMUNICATE LIKE AN ADULT!!!

It's staying glossy. Idgaf I did the project.

spiritswithout · 2021-03-20T12:43:06+00:00

How do we report a subreddit? I can only find options for individual posts. I found a small sub where men post videos and pictures of women they had sex with and talk about trading favors etc. It makes me sick and it clearly falls under involuntary p*rn rule.

SpicyScroteRoastery · 2021-03-17T12:31:10+00:00

I made some really scary decisions and surprised myself with how much space I can take up now.

canttouchthisnananan · 2021-03-20T10:59:01+00:00

Whaaaaaaaaa I had this discussion with a woman on TikTok about a video where this girl changed her appearance to please her boyfriend. A lot of girls were defending her actions in the comments and said that in a relationship you have to compromise, so I wanted to at least say something so girls would know it is not normal behaviour to make yourself smaller for a man. And this woman called me ridiculous and and said I did not know what feminism was and that I was mean to other woman so I was not a feminist. But in my opinion it’s good to call out pick me behaviours so we can at least learn that you don’t have to do this. It does not make me mean, I just said that it is pick me behaviour and that I feel bad that young women still think they have to make themselves be less to be accepted by a man. Ugghh but now I realise that the woman who was defending this behaviour must be a pick me herself and she felt attacked by me. I don’t know if I’m ready to have discussions about this yet because I feel bad about things she said to me.

Gambit12345 · 2021-03-15T15:10:05+00:00

I was leaving the gym yesterday and noticed a guy behind me was sort of scurrying to catch up to me in the parking lot. I heard someone asking me a question about my work outs, I turned around and it was some guy. It was super out of nowhere and awkward, I was taken aback at how abrupt he was. When he saw I reached my car he told me to have a nice day. I suspect as it gets warmer guys will try shooting their shot more often. I wish men were capable of being only friends but we all know most men only approach if they’re interested in dating/sex.

Apartment_Born · 2021-03-16T22:15:39+00:00

I’m new to this sub and I’ve noticed a trend on other subs bad mouthing this one. Why is that? From the posts I’ve seen, this sub is just about women supporting other women. Is there something they know that I don’t?

Breesasha · 2021-03-17T14:59:26+00:00

I'm struggling with my female friends; the majority (i.e 95% are either pickmeishas or similar). I have been on this FDS journey for about 4-5 months now so I am not as interested in interacting with them but I want female friends. I've been working on spending more time with myself; I went hiking solo 2x last week just so I can still feel like I'm getting out of the house without needing friends to do it. But my friends are obsessed with dating, dating apps, relationships, and their entire lives revolve around their partners. Since I don't subscribe to any of those behaviors anymore and I'm having a hard time finding quality friends, I've been leaning into solo activities. It's a big first step for me :)

northernlitescookie · 2021-03-18T04:10:11+00:00

Just need somewhere to vent. Why are men???? I post a quote to do with women. Some guy has to respond and make it about men. I really want to respond and make him realize this isn't ok, but not sure how. Pic for context. urrgh

Exsqueeze_meh · 2021-03-18T19:13:43+00:00

What are you opinions on women who do Burlesque? The further i get from my pickmesha days the more this type of thing just seems desperate and sad. But maybe it's just the lens i'm viewing through, a new though process is coloring my opinion. I've noticed a few women on IG who are friends of friends that are into it. They claim to feel empowered by it but it just comes off as very much a need for male validation and attention seeking. What do you ladies think?

saltedpretzel2 · 2021-03-21T05:19:12+00:00

I applied for a new job this past week. I've been over my job for a while, however have stuck it out due to the pandemic, knowing there isn't much else out there. I submitted my resume and then they requested I do a test within 48hrs of submitting my application. So I did that after work one day, since I had no other choice. The test was incredibly hard, and I got a rejection email the very next day. I am disappointed however now I have done my resume up to submit it for that job, I'm going to keep an eye out for any other good jobs going. I need a change.

HlGHFIVE · 2021-03-21T19:32:36+00:00

My post got a little popular and therefore snagged a couple of prickly scrotes who made their way into my DMs.

They were basically mad that I had canceled a date because I felt disrespected. Why do they feel the need to make my business their business anyways?

It's like some universal scrote code. Try to break down as much women as possible so that men can get their way easier and effortlessly.

TopCoatCarrot · 2021-03-16T13:48:37+00:00

It’s Tuesday! I logged in for the memes! 🤪

leveluplady01 · 2021-03-17T00:52:14+00:00

Decided to reread the handbook and the first 2 internet safety links really stuck with me, especially after all the attention this sub has gotten lately. I just wiped and deleted my 5 year old reddit account and started this new one bc FDS is literally the only sub I read on reddit now

Keybladeprincess00 · 2021-03-17T02:56:55+00:00

I broke up with my ex half a year ago, and I have been happier overall. I’m back in the dating pool and since finding FDS, I don’t think I’ve found one person that is actually interested in me (at least not with my higher standards). Now I’m only 20, I realize I’m not looking for forever right now but most people my age just want to drink and party. I know I need to work on myself, not having a car, unemployed and being out of school have left me counting out my spare change to buy 1$ rice sides. I guess what I’m asking for is advice. I am tired of crying because I can’t support myself. I’ve been applying to jobs, taking care of my mental health and taking my medicine. It just feels like no matter what I do nothing works in my favor.

Summerisle7 · 2021-03-17T17:28:02+00:00

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canyounotxx · 2021-03-17T19:18:30+00:00

has anyone had an experience where they thought they were being ghosted but they weren’t? i know it’s dumb/wishful thinking on my part and i know FDS is very “block and move on” but i’m having a hard time wrapping my head around why the ghost happened (too many details but this guy was always the one talking about doing things in the future/continuing to see each other, not me). I know I can’t get closure or even expect an explanation from a man, I more just want confirmation that I’m being actually ghosted if that makes sense lol. I haaaate double texting but am so close to just reaching out a potentially last time for my own sanity.

_RustInPiece_ · 2021-03-18T01:02:10+00:00

Through a friend of mine I heard some news about one of the LVMs from my libfem phase with who I went no contact about half a year ago. He told me that said LV-lefty-libfem-sexpozzy-open-minded-man posted a meme comparing the risk of getting thrombosis through the birth control pill to that of a covid vaccine. Content was basically: "Trust the vaccine, it is less dangerous than the pill and the pill is completely harmless." Yeah, no. Tell me again, what does he - a man - has to say about the health risks of the pill? The risk that the pill has on women? The pill is far from harmless. I know of many women, me included, who can't even take it because the risk of getting a thrombosis would be life threatening. Doctors won't prescribe it to me; now take into account in what state women's (reproductive) health care is compared to men's. I'm living a very healthy lifestyle, I'm fit, young, I don't smoke,...but that doesn't change anything. No pill for me since it's a genetic issue. A lot of said other women got tested positive for the same condition I have. One even nearly died because she didn't know she had it before. There is so much research missing on women's health and we still get ignored in medicine since the male body is the norm there. So many unnecessary deaths based on sexism in health care.

That scrote has nothing to do with the pill aside from benefiting from sticking his dick into women who use it as a contraceptive method. Nevertheless he doesn't hesitate to throw those women (as well as all other women) under the bus just to prove his left-wing point. How about criticizing anti-vaxxer lunatics without spreading misinformation that puts women's lives in danger?

creamtart_ · 2021-03-18T04:45:59+00:00

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Mella_20 · 2021-03-18T22:37:04+00:00

Has anyone here ever taken up martial arts or any other kind of self defense? This has been a major concern for me lately. Safety. I used to shrug when I heard about the dangers that a woman can experience but now I feel genuinely terrified of being in an impossible situation with a crazy man.

I'm wondering if I'm allowed to have something like a pepper spray.

hurhah · 2021-03-18T23:44:26+00:00

When should a guy confirm a date by? He asked me out on Monday for dinner Thursday night but we landed on tomorrow evening because of my schedule. I’m not super texty or chatty before a first day but I expected a text today to confirm we are still on for tomorrow night. I know he was driving today back to our city (he was a few hours away for work). I vetted and verified him- he is a co-founder of a company so a lot of his info is out there.

At what point should I NOT go on the date, assuming I do hear from him to confirm?

creamtart_ · 2021-03-19T12:26:01+00:00

[deleted]

hurhah · 2021-03-19T16:02:11+00:00

Is a successful (owns/runs a big business) 37 year old man that states he “parties on occasion” automatically LV? I want to settle down, is partying on occasion a red flag?

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-03-21T11:57:02+00:00

Anyone watched Bojack Horseman? I got to s2 and was enjoying it but then this one episode put me off completely. I think it’s ep11 or 12, Bojack goes to see an old friend whom he had a crush on and he finds out she has a family and a loving husband. When she turns him down, HE GOES AFTER HER 17 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER 🤢🤢🤢. The way it happened was fucking vile, he “turns her down” as she came on to him first. Then he tells her to go home but LEAVES THE DOOR OPEN AND THEY MAKE OUT🤢🤢🤢🤢 yeah I’m not watching this shit anymore

Mimieuxmieux · 2021-03-21T22:51:46+00:00

Hey ladies. I'm so glad the weekly chat is back, I've been wanting to post an update! Well, I always thought I was bisexual but realised over the past few months I am fully gay. I was so fucked over by men my whole life that I thought my dislike of men and experiences of bad sex (unable to get wet, crying afterwards, not liking their bodies) was normal. Normal 1)because these are common experiences due to men being pathetic in bed and 2) because the relationships were so bad, I thought maybe if I met the perfect HVM I would feel differently.

I feel so relieved and happy but also so upset to have not realised this and wasted so much time (I am late 20s)?!Just an example of how shitty men and patriachy ruin things for everyone including women who are not even into men!!

Anyway, I still read posts here every day as I firmly believe in female empowerment and will still need to stay wary. <3 stay strong sisters!

LadyLevelUp · 2021-03-16T22:33:22+00:00

I have a question - I've never had good, non-abusive sex, and I attribute that to the fact that I felt completely disempowered by sex with all of my partners (BDSM, "daddy", jackhammering, faking orgasms, etc.) and so I don't know what I like and/or want. I've got some work I need to do personally before I start strategically dating, but I'm wondering, should I look for a FWB in the meantime to explore what I actually like in the bedroom while I work on leveling myself up so I can discover that part of myself before looking to settle down? I know casual sex is condemned, but I feel like the exploration of my sexuality is important and it gives me anxiety not to do so before looking for a long term partner again. Any advice is appreciated!

thowawaywookie · 2021-03-17T11:23:54+00:00

Had my birthday a few weeks ago. One colleague asked if he could organise a party for me. He brought his friends, I brought mine. But the thing is, he *dictated* which friends I should invite. I knew exactly what his plan was. But, alas, I didn't care- free party bro! Fuck yea!

Of course, he rented an apartment with 3 bedrooms (how convenient, considering there's 3 girls and 3 boys, right?).

I drank so much I actually had my first blackout experience. One of the guys actually managed to slip in a kiss or two with me before I realized what was going on.

I had no idea how I got home or anything. I just know at some point I was lying on one of the beds and suddenly one of them came to me, acting all caring, but touching me. Alarms went off and I took my last bits of consciousness to react and get ourselves away from there.

We were INSANELY lucky that the guys thought alcohol alone would make us say yes.

Thing is, no one would EVER think these guys would dare touch a woman inappropriately- yet they did. All their money and all their hair gel can't stop their low value from bursting out.

hurhah · 2021-03-19T14:54:48+00:00

[deleted]

hurhah · 2021-03-21T19:07:54+00:00

What is an appropriate age range for a 36-year-old woman to date, per FDS? Is 43 too old?

Idk if it matters but people guess I am in mid/late 20s based on appearance. My female friends all look younger too. But men in my area that are in mid 30s and beyond (esp over 40) do at least look their age, if not worse. So with our peers, it still looks like we’re with an older man lol.

Summerisle7 · 2021-03-17T01:39:18+00:00

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zxpozed · 2021-03-17T03:02:04+00:00

I’m about half way through reading the handbook - just wondering: does FDS support online dating/OLD? The alternatives sound a little difficult considering the current times and my personal situation. Also is there a tip section for OLD?

Blackrose_ · 2021-03-20T01:55:28+00:00

Spotted in it's own link, rejection violence. Where men on any sort of platform get all shitty when you reject them.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-03-20/rejection-violence-in-dating-apps/13253626

I've also had a couple of things that bother me about reddit. I've posted here or in a couple of other subs and I'll get plenty of likes for it.

Then I'll get a guy, generally a guy posting a follow up question, generally with a not so subtle put down. I'll answer thinking that was the end of that thread, and it was seeking clarification, only to have him berate me for my position. This has happened a few times now.

It's sea lioning https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sealioning asking questions in bad faith with the follow up trolling.

Fuck me I'm getting pissed off with it.

So I've added to the block list carefully, and in some cases deleted the answers to the follow up questions.

Often after a firey exchange I'll get a DM message or a chat message from an account that's about 3 months old wanting me to join some other area on the internet. I generally say no because in my gut, I don't want this to be another trolling abusive experience.

I'd rather vet or even unsubscribe from a sub, than continue to put up with this shit.

So yeah, any one else get this??

2021-03-21T22:01:42+00:00

I lost access to the group chat somehow? probably deleted it by accident via the phone app. how can I get back in?

RecentSprinkles5997 · 2021-03-22T03:06:37+00:00

I went on a date first thing they say to me is to ask my height then they inform me I “just made it “ because they don’t date girls shorter than me.🙄 should have left then but they showered me with compliments for the rest of dinner so I didn’t really think about it untill I went home . I’m wondering if I’m still not ready to date yet if I put up with such bs

Summerisle7 · 2021-03-22T04:55:43+00:00

I know some of you ladies are 90 Day Fiancé fans like me! I’m obsessed with the Natalie and Mike shitshow and over on a certain sub about the show, there’s a whole string of pickme’s agreeing with the scrotes that of course it’s Natalie’s “contractual obligation” to return the engagement ring when HE cancelled their wedding the day of!!

Title	Weekly FDS Chat / Check-in
Author	Unlikely-Marzipan
Upvotes	74
Comments	242
Date	March 15, 2021 10:06 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m5hf08/weekly_fds_chat_checkin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/weekly-fds-chat-check-in.779377 https://theredarchive.com/post/779377

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