“Be nice” was NEVER code for “Being nice to women gets them wet for you”. Nice guys lie to themselves.

John_Oakman · 2024-02-17T21:41:04+00:00

Genuine moral virtues being wholly independent of worldly/material results is a noble ideal. However, community/culture/society should incentivize behaviors that reinforce values that are conductive to it and disincentivize the opposite, simply because most humans are worldly/materialistic to a certain extent.

ChiBron86 · 2024-02-18T00:58:13+00:00

The fact that the #1 reason women STILL cite for someone being an incel is how they must be a "bad person" is pretty direct endorsement of women advocating "being nice" to get laid.

And this is something men have been told for eternity.

Turns out it's all BS. Being nice doesn't mean shit without also being 1) physically attractive and 2) possessing at least above average social skills.

EuphoricPangolin7615 · 2024-02-18T09:21:57+00:00

You are corny. You have nothing insightful to say.

Bruh_zil · 2024-02-17T21:37:36+00:00

Women and society did not tell men to be nice guys

First sentence and it's already wrong. I call BS on your take.

"You're such a nice guy, I'm sure you'll find the perfect person some day! Just keep on going!"

This sentence is what an unsuccessful guy will hear 99% of the time. Tell me this doesn't imply "being nice" -> "getting laid".

Apprehensive_Cake379 · 2024-02-17T22:57:22+00:00

Sex is like step 5 or 6 of a relationship and the "nice guys" are complaining that they can't get past step 1 where they find a romantic partner. Pussy is the furthest thing a guy is thinking of if they can't find a woman that isn't utterly repulsed by their docile and polite demeanor which they substitute for baseline attractiveness because it's what they were taught by their moms and others.

"Don't worry honey, I'm sure the girls will love you. You're such a nice and kind boy."

Many guys are sheltered enough that they don't unlearn this until they're in their twenties.

Friendly_Salad567 · 2024-02-18T04:10:20+00:00

I think when guys complain about the being nice didnt drop results, they dont mean they were nice to a girl and she didnt choose them, they mean they were nice but the girl chose a guy who is not nice so.

SurelyWoo · 2024-02-18T05:12:43+00:00

Thank you for this information. Starting tomorrow I'm going to be the biggest asshole this town has ever seen. It's time to get those juices flowing, and I'll need to start carrying a mop.

OptimistInHell · 2024-02-17T23:47:40+00:00

Who triggered you this time, lillth?

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-02-17T21:49:58+00:00

Not only is this blatantly untrue (if it was, society would have no issue with the Red Pill), you debunk yourself in your own post. The most important woman in a man's life and the stories made to guide his morals are Blue Pilled, yet it's the man's fault for not seeing through the lies.

This is gaslighting abuse by women, unable to disprove the Red Pill in fair debate, to trick men into thinking the deception wasn't that bad, and if it was, you're still at fault because real nice guys don't complain about the burden of being a nice guy. They expect you to be a doormat, and when they treat the assholes better than you, you'll be treated worse than the genuine assholes as the "fake Nice Guy".

It's a sad situation they throw onto guys who want to be good without suffering too much themselves, only resolved by standing up for yourself, throwing the nice guy goal out entirely, and putting yourself first.

Konoha_Shinobee · 2024-02-17T22:00:39+00:00

One: You keep saying grow men haven't figured it out. They obviously have otherwise you wouldn't be having this discussion. So this doesn't make any sense from the jump.

Two: "Be nice" is damn near the only advice normies give about dating. I know it's bullshit, you know it's bullshit, and I'm pretty sure they know it's bullshit. But it's what everyone says. Women also complain about men not being nice and it's their main complaint .

Three: By your definition of "nice" nobody is nice. For example if I'm nice to a girl that I like but she chooses not to date me, you would assert I'm not nice because I feel some type of way. So just don't feel or you can't be nice.

Podlubnyi · 2024-02-18T01:08:17+00:00

TLDR: Women and society did not tell men to be nice guys. These guys hear what they wanted to hear and came to their own bad conclusions. These guys WANTED to believe being nice would get them laid, even when NO ONE told them that was the case.

At worst they are guilty of naivete. They should know that women love jerks and disproportionately pick criminals to reproduce with.

optimuscrymez · 2024-02-18T08:05:48+00:00

This stupid line of discussion about nice guys needs to die.

Bottom line, being kind to someone is a tried and true literal biological reproductive strategy seen throughout the animal kingdom....signaling high paternal investment..

Women don't say anything but they respond to men being nice.

How do I know?

Hi, you live in the west where most every social privilege women have comes upon mutual agreement between men to give it to them. Aka being nice

Homerbola92 · 2024-02-18T10:58:38+00:00

No one thinks being nice to women gets them wet for you lol. Not only that but in most cases it's exactly the opposite.

Hi-Road · 2024-02-18T04:41:32+00:00

This is such a disingenuous strawman filled rant. There's no way you aren't being purposefully obtuse with this. But let's beat this shit into the ground. Again.

Have you actually attempted to talk to or ask men with these views their thoughts? Because these sound like caricatures resulting from... never talking to real live men. Men are human and have just as many flaws and quirks as women. One thing I have noticed is that while you're constantly beating your drum for men to be nice "just because", going off of your comments, you yourself do NOT come off as a kind person. Constantly seething at other people's dating frustrations is fucking weird.

I don't think it's in anyone's best interest for you to attempt to give men social advice

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-02-17T21:35:08+00:00

I have no issue with niceness not being benificial or paying off in any way, be it dating/relationship context or not. What I am not ok with is niceness being detrimental to relationships with opposite sex.

I kid you not, the moment I drop the cold assholish act and go back to being my actual comfy kind self - any female interest in me plummets faster than US economy in 1930s. This bizarre behavioral shift would have been so funny to observe if I was not a victim part of it.

throwaway1276444 · 2024-02-18T00:48:13+00:00

Most nice guys do not have sisters, and mostly have absent or present but uninterested fathers. So you have nothing to compare to. I for example thought that I should treat a woman right, because of how abusive my father would get. So my thinking was, treat her like I wish my father treated my mother.

That first attempt was a fail, I then went through my own experiences after, and finally landed in a relationship where I started drawing boundaries, and was conveying wisdom and maturity. It did not come from home, but I had now lived away from home long enough to have caught on how to put myself first. Instantly become more attractive and got called fun, charming, confident, etc.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-02-18T00:56:53+00:00

"What is the most important things you look for in a guy?"
"Kindness, loyalty, good smile"
"No one said I want a nice guy!"

Get realm I grew up in the 90s, being nice, a gentleman and a white knight was like the epitome of every guy in a movie.

I think I'm pretty kind today, but the shy/niceness thing is death for guys tbh

Inside_Breakfast9432 · 2024-02-18T03:33:21+00:00

Nah... For me being real and fair is better than being nice as a guy. I got nothing from being nice other than being taken advantage of.

So I never recommended my fellow Bros to be nice.

Horned-Beast · 2024-02-17T22:09:44+00:00

Which is why men are no longer being nice. No benefit in it.

So women are now 100 independent, so just like men, fight your own fights, change your own tires, deal with your own problems and pay your own bills just like men have done for generations.

No woman is special and men should no longer treat them as such, glad we are all now on the same page.

HedgingBetz · 2024-02-17T22:01:36+00:00

What’s with the sudden onslaught of these kinds of posts. Stg i’ve seen basically the same post like 4 times in 2 days now.

CalmNeedleworker3100 · 2024-02-18T00:44:56+00:00

These posts are getting redundant, downvoted

HatedByaNation · 2024-02-17T21:08:21+00:00

I don’t think anyone thinks being nice entitles them to sex. The whole point is respecting others and being overly polite makes you less attractive whereas being assertive and being kind of a dick makes you more attractive, given you have a certain looks level

Siliconmage76 · 2024-02-17T21:03:10+00:00

Must've been nice having a male figure in your life to teach you game if you are a guy. A lot of men don't and some like me grew up in all female households filled with dominant women. It took me until 28 to undo all the shit programming that was put into my head regarding attraction and dating.

You speak from a position of privilege and ignorance of it and your tone is arrogant and disgusting.

Tywinlol · 2024-02-17T21:49:07+00:00

First off all if I grace you with my attention and politeness then Im being nice to you. Whether or not Im selfless while doing it has nothing to do with performance itself. Those are two different issues, one does not negate the other.

Second, it would be nice then for society/females to be honest and to tell men that the way to affection lies though assholish, abusive and obnoxious behaviour.

So stop lying dear females, admit it you love toxic assholes, its okay we wont judge you here, well we probably will.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2024-02-17T21:33:39+00:00

Being nice is performative. Being good is characteristic. You can't fake it. Though neither will guarantee you sex / relationships, there is a sense of self satisfaction in genuine goodness

alebruto · 2024-02-17T22:47:45+00:00

Women 35 years old: Where are all the nice guys?

Currentlycurious1 · 2024-02-17T21:08:52+00:00

First of all, you’re not nice if you expect a reward for it,

There is always an implicit award for being nice/good. It's why Plato pondered about what men would do with a ring of invisibility. It's why the question "would you rather beat up a baby or have everyone think you beat up a baby?" is such a tough question.

Why wouldn't men believe what the stories in media, we believe them when they tell us other lessons? What wouldn't we believe our mothers, they want grandchildren? Why wouldn't we believe the women who complain about abusive men, they want healthy relationships?

jay10033 · 2024-02-17T21:03:03+00:00

Youre suppose to be nice because its theright thing to do.

Says who?

moosemc · 2024-02-17T22:44:23+00:00

Yes, but eventually you'll want a frozen yoghurt. And you'll have to be polite to the server, or you won't get one.

So, you have to be nice some of the time. Or you'll starve.

ColbyXXXX · 2024-02-18T03:06:10+00:00

Nice guys will always finish last until some kind of major shift happens. Being nice will keep a woman around but it will take you much longer to get her interested if being nice is your stand out trait instead of being known as a player.

BiffTannenCA · 2024-02-18T12:13:48+00:00

Most women I've seen who are turned on by assholes are flabby alcoholics.

untamed-italian · 2024-02-18T16:51:18+00:00

You sound like you have never exchanged more than a sentence with a living man in person. What a freak.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-02-17T23:18:43+00:00

I never thought that niceness would get you laid so I'm not sure where other guys got that idea, but I was surprised to find out that most women actually find it a turnoff and they are more attracted to guys who disrespect them.

I didn't realize how important dominance and disagreeableness were to women in generating attraction.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-02-18T03:03:51+00:00

This is why socializing from a young age is so important. You’re supposed to learn what the opposite sex likes through socialization.

A lot of Women aren’t told by their parents or ppl around them about how to find a man but they learned through socialization in their upbringing.

Men that are actually successful with women won’t say the reason they’re successful is because they’re “nice”.

A lot of these huy are shut ins and didn’t socialize properly in school. After like 20 years old you should understand dating is very nuanced and it takes more than being nice.

Content-Wash-7079 · 2024-02-18T03:52:46+00:00

Most of u wahmen deserve to be raped

wouldbepandananny · 2024-02-17T22:07:03+00:00

My brother reminisced that when he was in high school he thought of the girls in his class like vending machines, and if you put in enough "nice guy coins" the panties would drop- that this is what they were owed.

Thankfully he quickly grew out of this post high school, found a wonderful wife. They are both good partners to each other.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-02-17T23:43:31+00:00

They create their own fantasies and then expect everyone else around them to make it reality for them 🤣

wtknight · 2024-02-17T21:50:02+00:00

No, I think that a lot of men generally don't figure this out. Just because women, who are more socially astute and the ones who obviously know that "niceness" is not inherently attractive, figure this out in middle school does not mean that men are going to figure it out then, too. At least when I was growing up there was a lot of this kind of narrative going on about "being yourself" and "treat women well and they will like you, because women are people too". Things may be changing now thanks to the internet and better means of spreading more accurate information about sexual attraction, but that doesn't mean that men can't still be deluded by social messaging.

Lev-- · 2024-02-18T00:59:33+00:00

being nice to women gets you in the door being attractive gets them wet for you

ScreenTricky4257 · 2024-02-18T02:30:02+00:00

OK, but that raises the question, what does get them wet for you? Not something you do that's tailored to the individual woman, but in general. Because I can tell you a lot of things a woman can do that will make many men attracted to her, and then she can pick the one(s) she wants. But no one can, apparently, tell men what to do for that.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-02-18T02:38:38+00:00

"Be nice" doesn't mean that you have to tolerate bullshit or be passive. You must be nice, understand what you want and be assertive in same time. Nobody explain latter, in movies "nice guy" doesn't need to be assertive and women's bullshit sold as something "cute". Movies aren't real life, but you still have to learn what it really mean "to be nice" from somewhere.

prophet_nlelith · 2024-02-18T02:49:44+00:00

Pretty sure just being nice to people in general is a good thing.

WANT_SOME_HAM · 2024-02-18T05:26:53+00:00

There are several problems with the word "nice" as used by Nice Guys.

The first is that, if someone else describes you as "nice", it's because they're struggling to think of something positive to say about you but don't want to be rude. It's a very mild, very noncommittal compliment that could apply to anyone and doesn't rely on specific qualities that could easily sound insincere if you don't know the person well enough to speak confidently about them.

The second is that "nice" is, at best, a very low bar to clear. "Nice" just means a person is able to behave themselves for short spans of time. If the other person genuinely wanted to compliment you, they'd say something specific, which would indicate that they're paying attention and spent some amount of time forming an opinion.

The third is that "nice" alone is nowhere near enough to qualify as something to build a relationship off of. My gas station attendant is nice. That doesn't mean I'd date them.

coping_man · 2024-02-17T22:14:08+00:00

male feminists when they realize being a doormat to women and pandering to their political views to convince them other men are "misogynistic pigs" isn't a cheat code for sex:

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WowYouMustBeJoking · 2024-02-19T16:15:20+00:00

First of all, you’re not nice if you expect a reward for it, so automatically guys ranting “Nice Guys Finish” are assholes.

That's incorrect. Expecting a reward for it (or not) is irrelevant. Whether you are nice is defined by what you do (and/or don't do). You may or may not expect a reward for it.

Is what doctors/nurses do not nice simply because they are paid for it? And they expect to get paid for it too! The audacity.

We are always said - and it's unrelated to dating - that you get what you put in and to treat others like you want to be treated etc. So no, it's not unreasonable to expect others to treat you a certain way in response.

Conservative_Persona · 2024-02-23T18:04:54+00:00

I think that ‘nice’ is so vague a term that a lot of men and women puts different meaning into it. I think it is better to say ‘kind’. I have a lot of married friends and the men that are kind (and you can be tough as nails and confident at the same time) are the ones who have good marriages. Everybody, both men and women love the tough and confident but kind man.

Title	“Be nice” was NEVER code for “Being nice to women gets them wet for you”. Nice guys lie to themselves.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	390
Date	February 17, 2024 8:52 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1atc10i/be_nice_was_never_code_for_being_nice_to_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/be-nice-was-never-code-for-being-nice-to-women.1245679 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245679

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