CMV: Consent is sexy

k0unitX · 2025-06-21T18:48:32+00:00

ITT: OP gets a little dose of reality and realizes she's in a much smaller minority than she thinks

But I really want to argue against this part in particular:

Women from around the world have echoed this.

I've been all over the world, and I can assure you this whole "explicitly asking for consent" thing is exclusively a Western woman thing, and really mostly white liberal women - if you are hooking up with a woman in a non-Western country and you start explicitly asking for consent, I can virtually guarantee she will have no idea what you're doing and will be very confused at best and turned off by your weirdness at worst.

Nothing is more annoying than white women from North America/EU/AUS speaking for women across the entire globe, as if their culture and ideals align, at all

WanabeInflatable · 2025-06-21T15:58:37+00:00

> We all know that "consent is sexy"

Apparently NOT ALL think so. E.g woman in the video you referenced. There are people who think like her and people who think like you. I doubt you are even in the majority.

Ultramega39 · 2025-06-21T16:03:39+00:00

Not to sound like a doomer but this is one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of situations that I've seen my fellow men fall into.

There are many people who think that asking for permission too much kills the mood, but there are people with the exact opposite sentiment. Both are valid preferences but it does cause confusion and miscommunication.

flipsidetroll · 2025-06-21T16:38:43+00:00

In your disclaimer you say not all men, not all women. So what’s difficult to understand?

Some women might think it’s sexy. Some will find it repulsive. If a man asked if he can kiss me or touch my shoulder, I wouldn’t like it. I can’t bear how people have made affection into consent. And it’s a small minority affecting everyone. But your debate is not a debate. It’s simply a difference of opinion.

ComprehensivePipe448 · 2025-06-21T16:42:48+00:00

Why do women LOVE speaking for other women and also actions > word I don’t have a study or evidence but there is a decent amount of women like the women in that video who don’t like having to constantly say yes I like you u can do this etc

small-pp-small-smv · 2025-06-22T07:07:55+00:00

Sorry ladies, a few bad feminists ruined it for the rest of you.

IgorXY · 2025-06-21T15:50:07+00:00

See how hard to date as a guy with constant flow of contradictory advice.

On topic, I kina agree with Dr. Strange: "If I tell you what happens, it won't happen". Though I do use humor and subtle indirect clues so even the most obvious person catches on quickly and stops if they want to. Like, you don't jump for a kiss at high speed from a blind spot. The windup is so slow you can throw an ad there.

FrodoCraggins · 2025-06-21T16:24:22+00:00

Everyone should risk losing their job, friends, and freedom over 'courage' and 'social intelligence' because women don't like it when men follow the rules women told men to follow. It's clear that 'social intelligence' means the same actions always get the same reactions from all women, because all women everywhere are the same.

Practical-Film-8573 · 2025-06-21T22:12:52+00:00

"consent is sexy" is a hot take. it disallows natural progression of the relationship

Think_Individual_764 · 2025-06-22T05:26:41+00:00

The "consent is sexy" thing isn't something said for the reason of it being actually sexy. It's said as a way to fight against "rape culture" in an attempt to lessen would-be rapes by tricking men into thinking asking every step of the way is sexy so that they avoid some of the "grey-area" rapes (meaning the guy didn't intend to rape, but a rape occurred because he thought something was okay because he wasn't rebuffed).

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-06-21T17:10:54+00:00

Women paradoxically want both, because they want the easy opportunity to reject men but also want the few men they have attraction towards to just know.

Gold_Sheepherder6569 · 2025-06-21T16:07:21+00:00

You said people don’t understand but in your example it was a woman complaining about it. Personally I don’t think it matters whether or not consent is sexy, ask for it if you’re about to do something sexual and don’t assume unless you want to catch a rape charge. Although, asking for pronouns is not sexy even if she is a liberal/left winger she would be offended unless she is a truly committed nonbinary person.

AreOut · 2025-06-21T20:06:51+00:00

Asking for consent kills the vibe and makes sex look like a transaction. But I understand that there are a lot of autistic men&women nowadays who don't understand the clues, so to each his own.

Floki-AxeSide · 2025-06-21T16:34:25+00:00

A lot of women like to play games. "Fifty Shades of Grey" was a massive success because of the female audience who readily purchased the content with excitement and vigor.

The Christian Grey character fits the mold for the dream male archetype for many of the female audience. The author knew this and cashed in.

PerfectWorking6873 · 2025-06-21T15:58:53+00:00

She needs to blame feminists not men

soontobesolo · 2025-06-21T15:43:03+00:00

It's possible to ask for consent in a sexy, alluring way. That's what they missed.

alreadydark · 2025-06-21T16:17:47+00:00

Yeah, no...

Only necessary if the thing he's about to do is about to go A BIG step further than what we've already established as appropriate.

If we've never touched each other at all ever, then I think asking to hold my hand is ok.

But if we're already cuddling and then he's asking is he can touch my hand, and then my arm, and then my waist, and then my back, --that's absurd. But if you're going to go a big step further and take my shirt off, you'll have to ask.

Verbal consent is annoying at worst and neutral at best, I would never call it sexy. Sexy is slowly approaching the barrier of what's appropriate non-verbally.

For example, if you touch me in one place, I can touch you back in the same place to show you i'm into it. Then one of us can go a tiny step forward and see if it's ok.

We need to stop lying to men. Asking permission for everything is really odd and autistic

Axis_Control · 2025-06-21T15:41:39+00:00

Sorry but I'd think there's something wrong with the guy if he kept asking like that. Mmm no thanks.

experienta · 2025-06-21T18:55:48+00:00

I don't know how anyone could possibly change your mind when you already seem convinced that women around the world already believe asking for consent for every single thing is hot lol. How exactly would we go about changing your mind exactly? Because obviously if any woman comes up and says "nah I don't think asking for pronouns is hot at all" you'll just think they're the exception, obviously, because you've already made up your mind.

preferablyno · 2025-06-21T21:21:58+00:00

A lot of people approach it like this weird transactional earnest version of sex talk and it’s so gross to me lol

I do think there’s a place for express verbal consent but honestly for me I would prefer to just be flirty, show sexual intent in a cheeky and lighthearted way, lead in that direction and see if she follows or pulls back

Srapture · 2025-06-23T13:10:04+00:00

We all know that "consent is sexy".

Does anyone actually think this? Genuinely, I can't imagine anyone literally thinking this is true. My interpretation of that phrase was just that it was a fun and silly internet way of saying you should ask for consent.

In my opinion, it is awkward and unnecessary, and this whole thing has come about because many people are incapable of reading social cues. Infantilising women by suggesting they can't just say no is odd. If they feel scared to say no... Well, the issue is that you are, for some reason, dating a rapist thug. Don't do that. (inb4 sexist "all men" comments)

If there is a subsection of progressive people who all love this affirmative consent stuff and genuinely find it sexy somehow, power to you. Each to their own.

asking for your pronouns... SEXY!

A'ight this one is just funny. I'm sure women would love if I asked them "should I call you he/him?". Guaranteed second date right there.

Laniekea · 2025-06-21T17:15:50+00:00

Consent isn't always sexy. Can I touch your boob? Can I take this off? Can I put it here? Is this okay? Are you sure? it's sometimes annoying and awkward, can come off juvenile and it makes men look less assertive. Most women want assertive. Some women don't but women are not a hive mind.

I don't think people should be expected to ask for consent for every little thing. It can ruin a mood. But they should have to abide by a hard "no". And it's on people to speak up.

BaldieMonkey · 2025-06-21T16:29:59+00:00

I don't know why it's still so hard for people to understand.

Because this is not the general consensus among women ?

As you said "not all men/women", but in most men experience, most women want it to be "organic", which means to take the initiative and go with the "flow/mood".

But since this flow and mood can really vary, even in minutes, most men have also experience misreading or mistiming and ended up in a very bad situation because of that.

So, as the adpating species we are and listening to the pushed narrative of explicit consent being king, men came up with the idea that they should ask about every step (holding hands, touching shoulders, hugging, invading personal space, kissing, etc).

But when they did, they experienced complains from a lot of women about how "mood breaking" and "unconfident" it is to do that.

So now you are a step closer to understanding the struggles most men are dealing with in dating, which more often comes from paradoxes such as this one.

growframe · 2025-06-21T16:31:22+00:00

I disagree

Disagree with what? Another woman's turn-ons and turn-offs?

Like what you like but that's not really a topic for debate

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2025-06-21T16:15:33+00:00

I mean, I don’t really enjoy being explicitly asked for consent. I don’t think that’s a turn on for me. I however do think consent is still very important obviously. And I think no means no and stop means stop. But i don’t enjoy being asked “can I touch you” and things like that personally.

That being said I have a ton of respect for people who do ask for explicit consent. And I do understand that explicitly asking is one of the best ways to make sure everyone is comfortable and safe. So even though I don’t necessarily like being asked, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker.

Ok-Exit-374 · 2025-06-21T15:49:35+00:00

If you’re moving like a virgin asking all these questions then it’s not sexy. Read the room and perhaps be more on the suggestive side.

GloeSticc · 2025-06-21T16:12:04+00:00

I think that respect is what is usually appreciated. Not necessarily a specific behavior, or "reading body language." It's all contextual; what matters the most is that the man (or the woman) doesn't see their partner as being something that's "underneath" them or disposable.

What are the implications to this kind of a mindset? The biggest one that I can think of is breaching boundaries. Why would you care about the wants/needs of someone you don't respect? That's the mindset. And what follows is harrassment, manipulation, assault, etc.

So in this regard, I can understand the usefulness of asking for consent. It provides a litmus test in determining how much the other person respects you. And it's probably even more important for women in determining respectfulness; men can be a greater physical threat.

marcoo24 · 2025-06-21T17:10:39+00:00

Well i will do some surgical explaining here. All this "consent" talk done by feminists is actually (be ready) a RAPE. Now you gonna ask "wtf do you mean RAPE?". Think about i have a pen in my hand. I talk with the OP:

Me: OP, this is a pen. OP: ummm... okay yeah. Me: no no no OP, you don't understand this is a pen. OP: I mean yeah (he gets nervous here) Me: you have no idea, i am saying you this is a PEN.

So after a while, OP will feel very out of reality that now he cannot depend on himself to perceive reality. So his autonomy is forcefully breached. What do we call forcefull breach of autonomy?? Yeap you got that, RAPE.

Another thing, btw those "feminist" women exactly now whatever they do. They do all of it intentionally. All of their tactics are based on cognitive dissonance. Plrase search for this term online.

So why do they do this cognitive dissonance especially on online platforms? Very simple they are sadistics beings who are obsessed with power. I can give another example on this, you know they also falsely accuse people for rape even in a very irrelevant situation. That's called projection, they are throwing the guilt they have inside to the other party in order to make confusion so they will be less suspicious.

If you read until here, there spiritual sickness is called "narcissism" in psychology. There is nothing you can do about them, only thing is you can identify them and stay the fuck away from them and live like a normal human being so you don't feel like to get a consent paper for a kiss :) they are just anti-life evil force on the earth. Don't take them seriously.

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Neptune-Jnr · 2025-06-21T20:21:04+00:00

Info: So you're disagreeing with other women on this?

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-06-21T20:34:37+00:00

I always just set a timer on my phone for 30seconds to remind me to ask. That way you’re good.

CerealExprmntz · 2025-06-21T22:03:00+00:00

People have been saying this:

men ruin the mood by continually interrupting the date, killing the vibe, and asking for explicit consent.

Far longer than they have been saying this:

"consent is sexy".

And frankly, I think we've reached a point in time where women and society are going to have to decide once and for all what the damn rules are. Not people's personal preferences that become rules at random, but the actual social standards for these interactions. We've had years of changing rules according to what women have said they want. Except, women keep contradicting each other, changing the rules to suit them, and men keep getting caught up and confused by all of this because we don't know how to proceed without either fucking up the woman's day or being accused of a crime. So I think we're going to have to decide as a society. Should we be asking for consent or should we be reading vibes? I don't care about how each one feels it how sexy you think each option is. It's about which is the correct standard to hold as the correct standard for society going forward. Because continuing to just go by how things feel to random women on the internet is fucking it up for everyone.

Ok-Active8747 · 2025-06-21T23:28:42+00:00

Why can people just be adults and communicate about what they are okay with and not okay with. I’ve had a few women try to touch my butthole. They didn’t ask for my consent, they just did it. I told them I’m not interested and we moved on…

DashboardPilled · 2025-06-22T00:02:18+00:00

The whole confusion around "consent is sexy" exists because most women compartmentalize men into "hookup material" and "boyfriend material". The things that women are willing to do with "hookup material" guys are drastically different from the things that they want to do with the "boyfriend/husband" types.

The hookup material dude is supposed to get it, he can cross the boundaries because he is hot and do things/say things that under any other circumstances would have been considered sexual assault. The catch here is that this has to happen smoothly, if he keeps asking "Am I allowed to choke you? If you want me to pull your hair, sign here, please", that's going to kill the mood. So women who are in their hoe phase will say they don't want a man who is explicitly asking and they just want a man who gets it.

Now, as a woman, if you are done with the hookup guys and are specifically looking for a hubby, you expect him to be respectful, to respect the boundaries that's why the whole "consent is sexy" becomes relevant because the hubby isn't supposed to push the boundaries and has to stay in his lane. Asking about "consent" is going to reaffirm the fact that he knows his place and shouldn't be explicitly sexual.

Birthcontrolbitch · 2025-06-22T03:30:34+00:00

Consent isn’t sexy it’s a necessity. Social intelligence, empathy, and self awareness are sexy. Gaining and assessing consent in a sexy way is sexy.

Someone asking ‘can I have sex with you’ or anything along those lines is going to be a no from me 100% of the time.

Quad-Banned120 · 2025-06-22T06:06:55+00:00

Fuck man, it ain't that hard. I'm on the spectrum and can still ask without it being a showstopper popup add.
Like if a girl comes home with you, things get a little hot on the couch, a few kisses down the stomach followed by a "do you want me to..?"

Granted I can't see the video because it's being gated by that brainrot app

I agree with your take though. Asking for permission to touch her shoulder could even be an opening for a cute flirty joke "Just wanted to see if you were real. ;)"

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-06-22T10:11:57+00:00

In my opinion it depend. There are women who like that and other who don't. You just have to discuss with the person in front of you at the beginning

selecadm · 2025-06-22T20:14:58+00:00

If asking explicit consent is because it's a hookup and not a romantic relationship, or even worse it's a consequnce of being abused, then no, it's not sexy.

So a guy asking if he can approach you

But that's already approaching.

asking for your pronouns

I am from Russia so just gonna skip on this one.

asking if he can touch your shoulder

What? Not even boobs, let alone ass or genitals? You're gonna kill me with this one.

voxpopuliberty · 2025-06-22T20:38:03+00:00

It's a brand new phenomenon for women to have sex without credibly fearing pregnancy

The right tries to end the tools, but the mentality is already there

No hymen no diamond is unironically the only fix

But there's no fix. It's time for war

midnight_blue77 · 2025-06-23T01:12:54+00:00

This entire matter is not about "consent," as if we are haggling out some boring business contract, it's about figuring out if a woman wants it or not. It involves salesmanship tactics more than negotiation.

Believe it or not, a lot of women get turned off VERY FAST if they have to verbally say they want sex with a man. Even if it's with a man she is totally hot and horny for. They roll their eyes, get annoyed or frustrated and then end up pissed off where 3 seconds go she was aching for it. It's happened to me, which is why I just stopped engaging with women in that way, and only ever give my attention to women that didn't play those stupid mind games.

But to all the guys my advice is this: if there is any doubt at all, just don't do it! It is better to turn her off, and let her get mad about you "ruining the mood," than to risk a false accusation 20 years latter.

There is nothing courageous about taking chances just to appease a woman's ego. These are just shit tests, don't fall for them and don't play into their emotional games. If a woman can't be an adult about something as serious as sex then just walk! It's not worth your own dignity just cause she wants to play games.

"So a guy asking if he can approach you, asking for your pronouns, asking if he can touch your shoulder, asking if you're having a good time, etc... THATS SEXY!"

Sorry but ewww no. Hard Pass. I actually just keep my distance from such women and I don't even look in their direction. The type of woman you are describing are usually emotionally disgusting, toxic, and just nauseating to deal with. It is not even possible for me to feel any kind of attraction for those type of women.

Women from around the world have echoed this. I don't know why it's still so hard for people to understand.

Because it's deviant and abnormal. The only women echoing this are the victims of the Social Contagion known Wokeism. Personally, woke women repulse me. I cannot be in the same room as one, sex does not even exist in my mind when my thoughts are about them.

Sea-Roof-8135 · 2025-06-21T15:40:24+00:00

Asking for consent, even for something as simple as a kiss on a first or even later date, is not only respectful but also incredibly romantic. I’m not sure about most women, but most of my female friends would definitely agree. Then again, they are hopeless romantics!

MongoBobalossus · 2025-06-21T15:50:03+00:00

You gotta learn to read the room.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-06-21T15:47:07+00:00

This is a weird take. I've literally never asked anyone "for their pronouns" and I'm not sure what the relevance to consent is. Also, asking someone if you can approach them is an approach in and of itself. It's like asking someone "Can I ask you a question?"

Women make it very obvious with body language when they're open to being approached in a social setting, and, on dates, when they want to be touched or kissed. Sex sometimes is a conversation, sometimes it's more spur of the moment (at least among younger people), but it usually does not rquire nervous stammering, and "um, can I touch you?"

It's reasonable if the signs being given are mixed, if one or both of you are drunk, or if it's something like sex in particular where parameters of the relationship haven't been defined to make sure you're both holding sex in the same frame of mind before diving into it. It's not reasonable when a woman's body language is aching to be touched, she's making eyes at him, brushing up against him, gazing into his very soul with desire, running her hands through her hair, and licking her own lips, and the guy responds stiffly with "so, um, do you like, think it would be cool, if, um, maybe i, uh, you know, kissed you a little?" Let alone doing the same thing multiple times and at every step of the way. Exaggeration, but you get the point.

Findol272 · 2025-06-21T15:56:40+00:00

I do think it's a catch 22 in a sense.

A lot of women do get turned off or think it's weird to be asked directly and verbally for consent, and think you should basically read body language. I think this is the most common way. It is quite tricky and risky to engage with, as misreading clues and body language could have dire consequences (also since current discourse says that a woman can never be expected to say "no" and will freeze as a trauma response if somebody makes a move).

The other way, as you laid out is to ask directly, verbally and pointedly for consent. This also has its own array of risks, although you significantly reduce the risk of raping or assaulting someone. The main downsides for this is that for the average guy, directly and crudely asking for consent will just destroy their chances for a lot, if not the majority of their opportunities. It's not that they wouldn't have gotten consent anyway, it's that the act of asking it can be very tricky and be a turn-off, especially in a culture where women feel ashamed to openly express their sexual desires and don't want to be seen as "easy". This risk calculation is especially tough for average guys that don't have a lot of opportunities and then might throw away opportunities at a relationship or at sex for clear verbal consent.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-06-21T16:42:01+00:00

I don't understand do u want us to change ur view to why consent isn't sexy ?

Disastrous-Lynx-3247 · 2025-06-21T16:50:36+00:00

I thought women wanted men to take control ? Or are both possible simultaneously?

AntonioSLodico · 2025-06-21T16:58:11+00:00

I agree, but I think it really depends a lot on the person and how it's done.

You can have this conversation very early on, fairly easily. If you're texting, jjust share something like this tiktok and get their take on it.

Business-Stretch2208 · 2025-06-21T18:46:48+00:00

If you have basic social skills, it's very easy to gain consent in a sexy way.

asuddendaze · 2025-06-21T21:35:35+00:00

Reading through the comments, there’s a lot of truly senseless back and forth. Y’all wanna think practically? The easiest way to skirt all of these issues is communication.

Example: “Hey, would you prefer I asked for consent consistently, or would you find that off putting? What are your thoughts, here?”

I can nearly guarantee the question will endear most possible paramours to you. Plus, it removes the confusion for the actor and creates a safe space for the recipient where their preferences and autonomy are acknowledged & appreciated.

Problem easily solved.

relish5k · 2025-06-21T21:55:24+00:00

i 100% agree with her (the video lady)

Hoopy223 · 2025-06-21T21:58:20+00:00

Women blame Men for everything.

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2025-06-21T16:52:05+00:00

I have never in my life encountered a man whose excessive requests for consent killed the mood. I spent many years having sex with lots of progressives/leftists who do that kind of thing and this just... isn't a problem. The explicit consent requests have always been hot at best and neutral at worst.

Anyway this particular woman seems like she just makes a lot of inflammatory videos. I kinda doubt she even believes what she's saying. She just wants views. Are you her? No seriously, this post is exactly what I'd do if I wanted to grow my TikTok following among people with dumb weird views on gender.

Bulky_Analyst_9168 · 2025-06-21T15:50:03+00:00

And again people cry about how they are expected to have a normal social skills and ability to communicate.

Yes, it kills a mood if you ask robot-like monotonious voice: "Do I have your permission to proceed kissing you?"

Instead you could look at them in the eyes, get closer, read the room, atmosphere and if you want verbal confirmation you can use questions like "how does this feel" or "do you like this?" Etc.

I always think people who find consent difficult conception have never experienced truly enthustiastic sexual act, where both are moaning for pleasure and equally horny. They might be exactly those who get sex only by whining and coercing, thinking it's normal for woman to be passive and look mildly disgusted during the act and women often feel bad about it afterwards (also that's why for them it's a relevant fear to be accused of SA). They probably know very well if they would bother to ask if their partners enjoy being with them, answer would not be something they wanted to hear.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-06-21T15:39:45+00:00

I can understand wanting a consent, also not being sure about can or can't you do something. But for me there is a thing of asking too many questions like that. I was with a guy who did that and it felt weird and did kill the mood for me.

Tylikcat · 2025-06-21T18:06:49+00:00

Awkward men are awkward.

Do you know what else is awkward? Having a nerdy conversation with someone in what you think is a purely friendly context and suddenly they grab you an try to stick your tongue down your throat. (And if they actually surprise me, my knee and elbows get driven into soft and sensitive parts of their anatomy at high velocity.)

There are women who don't want to be asked, and who want men to "take control". And want to do this in non BDSM situations without previous negotiation. (As a kink, I have no problem with this, though not my kink. Expecting that people will randomly pick up on this preference and act on it without any discussion strikes me as pretty gross. But hey, this is part of the reason why hetnorm nonsense gives me hives. Not that all hetnorm dynamics include this particular quirk.)

This should surprise no one - generations of fucked up sexual norms don't die out all at once.

Ask yourself how good your social awareness is. There are a lot of non verbal cues that will often show what someone wants. But if you get it wrong, it's on you. (This is for everyone - yes, women are generally more likely to be passive, especially women who refuse to fucking communicate. But I'm more likely to initiate things, with both men and women.) And if you know that reading social cues isn't your think, I personally suggest not going there.

Plus, at the end of things, you get a girlfriend who thinks it's appropriate to expect you to read her fucking mind. Read that again.

Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2025-06-21T16:39:26+00:00

Consent IS the game.

I was walking AI through a consent dialogue, and I could feel my wires crackling.

Think about it.

Two sentient beings testing the water, seeking, at risk, wanting, but not yet invited.

If that's not drama, then I don't know what is.

In the video, she correctly points out that unnecessary silly interruptions can kill a natural negotiation of moods. Zebras don't stop to sign waivers. It does not require a non-disclosure agreement to have coffee.

If someone passionately has their tongue in your mouth, they probably want to continue - you could test this, make sure you wear a smirk, or you may lose out. You need high emotional intelligence to block a passionate appeal. Turn it into a game, also. Make them beg.

We've been mating in a certain way for millions of years, and nonverbal consent has been present long before we could grunt about it or sign waivers.

Oddly, we didn't go extinct.

We have metacognition - a delicious extra level to our primal grunting. Why not enjoy it fully as only humans can in the mental courtship of proposal/risk? It is the ultimate game: survival of your line or extinction. It's meant to be experienced fully.

You can interrupt that with a waiver, but I might lose my fortitude and sadly soften my will, unable to carry forward my enthusiasm. Petering out before an eventful night.

Icy-Gene7565 · 2025-06-21T23:09:39+00:00

I wear a rubber to avoid pregnancy.

But ask 5 young canadian bockey players about consent. They had video consent. They await sentencing by judge having gone thru 2 juries. The victim of the assault admitted to daring the men and calling them puzzys as she mastorbated on the floor. Just sayin...

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2025-06-22T02:42:58+00:00

I love consent because I value autonomy and no one can read my mind. But it can’t be this constant insecurity of “are you having a good time, do you like this, are you mad at me?” I personally speak up so I don’t need someone to check-in in that way. My partner has always known how to read me and knows I’m uncomfortable before I do. But he initially asked if he could kiss me, if I was okay as he unbuttoned my pants, we discussed preferences in sex and boundaries before we had sex. So I think reality is somewhere in the middle of “don’t ask, just do” and “ask for consent for every little thing.” A man should be emotionally intelligent enough to read my body language, read a room, lightly tap against boundaries - once - but also knows when to ask, can time a “would you mind if I kissed you now” after he built tension, knows during kissing after the clothes have come off but before intercourse to ask “are you okay.” There is something very sexy about riding that line. I personally prefer they fall into ask too much and I can tell them I’m okay and I will let them know when I’m not. But also I know women who want someone to take charge, see she’s into him and make it happen. It depends on the woman, it’s why dating is dating. You find someone who matches your style.

Solondthewookiee · 2025-06-21T17:07:41+00:00

So many of these conversations always act like consent has to be clinical statements like "I would like to penetrate your vagina with my penis" instead of things like "I wanna fuck you so bad."

Dirty talk can be consent too.

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-06-21T18:47:57+00:00

If you're really bad at reading non vocal cues, then you can use dirty talk to 'check in' with your partner during sex.

Title	CMV: Consent is sexy
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	362
Date	June 21, 2025 3:35 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lgzc51/cmv_consent_is_sexy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-consent-is-sexy.1555202 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555202

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