PPD women be like: | PurplePillDebate

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Adversity inherently builds strength. It doesn’t make someone a victim or a victor, it makes them human. This dichotomous narrative, disproportionately applied to women, diminishes the most complex human experiences into a Disney movie.

So I may regret posting this, but I’m a chick that left my husband after he tried to kill me. Saying that makes most people immediately decide that I am a survivor of some wicked villain. My ex is an amazing man who has had serious trauma that he’s spent decades successfully working through. That man beat odds most people don’t survive and we still touch base a few times a year.

One of the biggest barriers to him accessing help was this black and white, all or nothing attitude towards men — after gaining my ex’s trust his psychologist straight up said “you are just a bad person, so treatment won’t likely be successful.” That broke him.

Me? I am neither of these watered down rom com tropes, I’m just his ex.

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Oh I totally agree. What gets me though, is so many men claim “double standards” from women, and yet they believe exactly what I wrote: that women have 100% responsibility to pick the right man, no matter our age, I guess because we can supposedly have any man?

I’ve been on some of those toxic incel pages where a woman barely older than a child, like 17, is murdered by an abusive boyfriend and they say she deserved what she got for picking that guy. It’s sickening.

And at the same time, if some poor sap falls prey to a manipulative woman who takes all his money… I won’t even repeat the things they say he should do to her, but suffice to say they have nothing but pity for him.

But I’m not like them, and I know not all men are like that or think that way. At least I hope not.

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“Literally no one is stopping women from rejecting any man she doesn’t want” I would argue that women are put under much more pressure to accept a man they don’t want than men are pressured to accept women they don’t want…

But also, do you really think women can’t be manipulated and tricked? Just one example, I’ve had a few friends date the “bad boy” a-hole types. Every one was basically taking pity on him.

Yes, there was attraction there of some kind and charisma or whatever, but the main thing keeping them around was NOT that they enjoyed being abused or just thought he was “soo hawt.” It was that he had a whole sob story of how no one ever loved him; he was only bad because he’d been wronged, etc. It was often my most kind, bleeding-heart type of friends who would pull over to help a turtle cross the road.

I call it “misplaced maternal instinct.” They all wanted to help him, like he was a cute rescue dog or a lost little boy.

I’m not saying any of it is right; it’s obviously a horrible foundation for a relationship. But it’s just one of the more common ways that men manipulate women.

[–]pop442No Pill 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I would argue that women are put under much more pressure to accept a man they don’t want than men are pressured to accept women they don’t want…

You really think in the age of women become financially independent and having tons of options on dating apps that there's immense pressure for women to accept men they don't want?

I'm sorry but that's just not how reality is in the West today.

But also, do you really think women can’t be manipulated and tricked? Just one example, I’ve had a few friends date the “bad boy” a-hole types. Every one was basically taking pity on him.

Never said women couldn't be manipulated. I even used catfishing as an example of how women can be manipulated.

All I was saying is that a younger woman choosing to date an older guy isn't automatically a sign of manipulation. It's perfectly possible that those women are getting what they want whether that'd be the man's money/resources or simply being attracted or getting along with him.

Framing age gap relationships as being automatically manipulative takes away the autonomy and personal decisions of young women.

Yes, there was attraction there of some kind and charisma or whatever, but the main thing keeping them around was NOT that they enjoyed being abused or just thought he was “soo hawt.” It was that he had a whole sob story of how no one ever loved him; he was only bad because he’d been wronged, etc. It was often my most kind, bleeding-heart type of friends who would pull over to help a turtle cross the road.

Not sure what any of this has to do with age gap relationships........

All I'm saying is that consensual dating between young women and older men that doesn't involve catfishing, rape, drugs/alcohol, or lying is not manipulation. That's just dating but with a difference in age.

[–]MamaAbroad 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I agree with that… I wasn’t referring to age gap relationships as much as to the double standard where men are extremely cruel to women who choose “bad boys” and suffer the consequences. They act like women should somehow be immune to being attracted to the wrong person.

As far as age gaps in general, I am uncomfortable with it though, just thinking about myself in my late 30’s now versus in my early 20’s.

Of course people still have personal responsibility in their 20’s, but I have so much more life experience and knowledge now that the “balance of power” would be off.

However, I have a stepdaughter who is very mature for her age, and she can’t find any guys her age that look at the world the same way… I could see her being with someone maybe 5 years older.

But if any person my age was actively seeking out only people a decade younger, I’d be very skeptical.

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Sure it is. We condemn young people doing stuff all the time. Like having a kid. Lots of people would say a 19 year old probably shouldn’t do that. The majority of people actually would say that these days.

Um yea pretty sure most people consider catfishing a form of manipulation and as you can see most people also think catfishing is wrong and condemn it so not sure what your point is there. In fact I dare say more people probably condemn catfishing than age gaps (assuming the relationship is between adults).

Anyways there are many forms of manipulation yes. But again this idea that a woman cannot be manipulated because she is legally an adult or that younger people aren’t easier to manipulate in general is what I am arguing against. Yes women who are 18-21 are adults, does that mean they are as mature as 25+ adults on average? No we have the data and research to show this.

[–]pop442No Pill 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Many people in the older generation had kids young though and it wasn't really socially frowned upon in those days. My grandfather on my dad's side had him at 17.

But, besides that, you're sort of missing the point. Women making their own decisions for dating is not manipulation.

Manipulation implies that the person didn't really want it but was coerced into accepting it.

Catfishing, for example, is deemed manipulative because the person is actually attracted to the fake image as opposed to the real person behind the image. Rape is also manipulative because no one wants to be raped but some people will use brute force or drugs/alcohol to try to do it anyway.

A younger woman dating an older man in itself is no indication of manipulation if they've both hung out, talked things out, and decided to date each other.

Whether it should be deemed acceptable or not is irrelevant because different people are always going to disprove of certain couples. But, as long as it's legal and they're both agreeing to the relationship, then there's no "manipulation."

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I was mostly talking about teens and young adults under 21. But I don’t think we NEED to change the laws I can acknowledge and critique the situation without the law being changed. People in general can speak out and discourage the younger people from getting into such relationships without the law being changed which is generally what we see happening. The idea that there is no basis for the critique is really what I am arguing against. There is a basis to say that a person who is a teen even if they are legal adult is less mature on average and more easily manipulated that is not inaccurate and for this reason such folks should be warned about making certain potentially longterm harmful choices like getting involved sexually with someone much older, getting involved in sex work, even hook up culture in general (regardless of age).

With that said adults can’t drink until 21 in all states so I guess it really wouldn’t be a big deal if the age was raised. Clearly on some level we don’t think 18 year olds are mature enough to do that. Age for sex work should probably be raised to 21 as well I would actually support that.

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Being able to reject something or someone is not evidence of not being able to be manipulated

Perhaps but manipulation would still require some level of deceit, lying, or trickery. Unless a man is lying about his age(which sometimes happens) or doing something else deceitful.

A young woman accepting an older man as a partner isn't automatically "manipulative."

Also an older man can manipulate a younger woman to do that which she doesn’t want like to have sex with him.

This doesn't even make sense given how women have less of a sex drive than men. If a man can get a woman to pull out then that's usually reflective of his own desirability or status, not manipulation.

You think it's ugly, obese older men who still live in their mother's basements that are able to get younger women to have sex with them? Absolutely not. They'll all get rejected and brushed aside or being accused of being creeps.

The type of older men that can quote unquote "manipulate" younger women into having sex with them are usually the more desirable and/or resourceful type.

Like I said before, unless we're factoring in rape or drugs/alcohol, consensual sex or dating between older men and younger women is not manipulative. Young women have enough options in the dating world that they don't need to have pity sex with men they aren't attracted to or don't truly desire.

Also you act like abuse doesn’t exist. A part of why certain men even go for younger women is because they are easier to impress and manipulate this is especially true for literal teenagers. In some cases the younger person is isolated from their friends and family and the older party tries to use things like financial abuse to control them.

So....in other words, women are usually attracted to men who are resourceful or have a lot of money and status. And you think that this intrinsic attraction puts them at risk.

Look....I somewhat get what you're saying but I think you're ignoring that that's just how the dating market works in general. Saying that older men are "manipulating" younger women is like saying that IG models and big chested women are "manipulating" men. A lot of guys are going to simp for those said women but that's still voluntary and something that they actually want to do.

Basically, no one's ever going to be able to stop women from liking resourceful or rich men regardless of age just like no one's ever going to stop men from liking pretty and/or curvy women.

If that's "manipulation" then blame human nature.

[–]YveisGrey1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Perhaps but manipulation would still require some level of deceit, lying, or trickery. Unless a man is lying about his age(which sometimes happens) or doing something else deceitful.

Okay and wouldn’t you agree that someone with less experience and less foresight would be easier to manipulate?

A young woman accepting an older man as a partner isn't automatically "manipulative."

I never said that at all so…

This doesn't even make sense given how women have less of a sex drive than men. If a man can get a woman to pull out then that's usually reflective of his own desirability or status, not manipulation.

What? So women only have sex when they desire it? You can’t fathom that a woman could be pressured or coerced into sex that’s just not something possible in your mind??

You think it's ugly, obese older men who still live in their mother's basements that are able to get younger women to have sex with them? Absolutely not. They'll all get rejected and brushed aside or being accused of being creeps.

Ok this is just nonsense with no basis. Where are you getting the idea that older ugly men can’t or don’t date younger women?

The type of older men that can quote unquote "manipulate" younger women into having sex with them are usually the more desirable and/or resourceful type.

Again source for this?

Young women have enough options in the dating world that they don't need to have pity sex with men they aren't attracted to or don't truly desire.

Who said it’s for pity?

So....in other words, women are usually attracted to men who are resourceful or have a lot of money and status. And you think that this intrinsic attraction puts them at risk.

Yes it actually does put them at risk which is why a lot of effort has been made socially to grant women economic freedom. And the results are in bro women now leave men when they have had enough instead of being forced to stay with them due to financial insecurity.

Look....I somewhat get what you're saying but I think you're ignoring that that's just how the dating market works in general.

Glad you kinda get it. Saying it is what it is doesn’t make it right though. Like I said studies showing that a much larger portion than expected of teen mother’s children were fathered by adult men is what led to more strident policy on statutory rape. Results of which were likely positive seeing how much teen pregnancy has actually decreased over the decades. These days only a smaller portion of teen pregnancies involve minors and adults.

Saying that older men are "manipulating" younger women is like saying that IG models and big chested women are "manipulating" men.

Except men accuse women of that all the time. Ever heard of the phrase “gold digger”?

A lot of guys are going to simp for those said women but that's still voluntary and something that they actually want to do.

Okay but if someone points out how that is bad do you go on a comments rampage to explain to them how it’s not? I don’t know about you but I see it commonly said that men should not simp for such women and women involved in sex work are routinely shamed about it here and in the general society.

Basically, no one's ever going to be able to stop women from liking resourceful or rich men regardless of age just like no one's ever going to stop men from liking pretty and/or curvy women.

Okay and no one is ever going to stop murder, pedo crimes, or burglaries. That doesn’t mean people can’t warn about it or make policy to protect from those things.

[–]Johnny_Autism 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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"I was manipulated!"

How far are we really going to let this victim shit go? Like, really, some 18 year old doesn't understand that taking your clothes off and fucking in front of a camera for cash is, well, let's say "probably not a good idea." and "might come with some unintended consequences?"

It's amazing how stupid women are willing to lead us to believe they are to avoid accountability.

TEMPTATION is NOT MANIPULATION. And the TEMPTER isn't the one with the problem (as long as it's legal). "Lead us not into temptation" like CMON.

"Oh, but she was so young" yeah, old enough to vote, drive, work, sign contracts, marry... but apparently too young to know that porn isn't good for her.

Look, let's face it. These girls wanted QUICK FAST EASY CASH for doing stuff they were doing with their boyfriend for free. They were tempted by the money. And the 'long term consequences' part of their brain shut off. It happens to everyone at every age a few times. This type of shit has nothing to do with naive youth.

By grade 6 all girls have heard the word "slut" and they understand what it means and when it's applied. Some just don't give a shit (at the moment). They will later, but you can't talk them out of it.

[–]YveisGrey 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

How far are we really going to let this victim shit go? Like, really, some 18 year old doesn't understand that taking your clothes off and fucking in front of a camera for cash is, well, let's say "probably not a good idea." and "might come with some unintended consequences?"

Um yes. Why is that so hard to believe? Teens do even dumber shit than that actually.

It's amazing how stupid women are willing to lead us to believe they are to avoid accountability.

Okay so what now? Are you saying adults cannot be manipulated? I’m seriously confused how my pointing out that young people can and have been manipulated is absolves all responsibility.

TEMPTATION is NOT MANIPULATION. And the TEMPTER isn't the one with the problem (as long as it's legal). "Lead us not into temptation" like CMON.

Hahahahahah really? Then why have men forced women to be modest? I mean why can’t they just deal with the temptation instead of accusing women of being manipulative and seductive by showing their knee caps?

Look, let's face it. These girls wanted QUICK FAST EASY CASH for doing stuff they were doing with their boyfriend for free. They were tempted by the money. And the 'long term consequences' part of their brain shut off.

Okay so you acknowledge that some people have trouble assessing things for the longterm but can’t understand why they would make dumb decisions? Also young people literally have less developed frontal cortexes so yes they actually aren’t as good at making long term decisions. For this same reason young men are far more likely to be involved in things like crime vs older men.

It happens to everyone at every age a few times. This type of shit has nothing to do with naive youth.

That’s actually not true because the brain continues to develop into the 20s.

[–]Atomic_Thr0away 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Um yes. Why is that so hard to believe? Teens do even dumber shit than that actually.

Here we being the micro/macro type argument. This is what you're going to do the whole time to feel like you're making good arguments, but you're not smart, just ambitions with your arguing.

So yeah, people do dumb shit when they're young, and they do dumb shit when there's older too. And people will usually keep doing dumb shit as long as it feels good and or profits them in some way even if it's just attention.

So, if we're supposed to give "teens" a break when they fuck up, then perhaps we should be saying that you're NOT an adult at 18. Ok, so then what age? What age is going to be enough for you where you just can't chalk it up to youth and naivety? What's it gonna be? 22? 23? I can still here people in the back going "The brain isn't even fully developed until 25.... ok, so 25 it is then. Yeah that's going to go over great isn't?

Let's tell everyone that until they turn 25 they are still under the control of their parents and they can't vote, open regular bank/credit accounts, sign contracts and that they cannot consent to any sexual behavior, especially pornography because "your brain isn't developed enough yet." How many 18 year olds would go for that? None, Because by 16 kids are already (and should be) pushing back against their parents and the establishment and testing boundaries and engaging in riskier behaviour. And learning about adult responsibilities along the way.

So, there has to be a trade off. Everything in life is a trade off. So we've decided that 18 is about right. So if you want to be able to do adult things at 18, then you have to accept the adult consequences and not run back to "I was just a kid" when you do't like the outcome.

Okay so what now? Are you saying adults cannot be manipulated?

Another ridiculous and disingenuous question. Of course people can be manipulated. Media, marketing and advertising does it every day. Do you get to claim victim and blame McDonalds for manipulating you into getting fat with with commercials of people looking like they're having and orgasm after biting into a Big Mac?

Do 18 year old men get to claim victim when some hot OF girl is sweet to him and he sends her hundreds of dollars in hopes of winning her over? What would she say? She'd say "Well, he didn't have to send me the money." Which is the same as saying "Hey, he's an adult, I'm not responsible for what he does" but that same -e-THOT, 10 years in the future can claim "I was just a kid, I was manipulated."

Once you see that only women are granted this ability to "get out of accountability" by claiming to have been too young and easily exploited and manipulated by the big bad men.... Then you'll get it.

And these girls aren't manipulated by men, they are incentivized by the temptation of lots of quick and 'easy' money. It's only when it runs out that they cry wolf.

Hahahahahah really? Then why have men forced women to be modest? I mean why can’t they just deal with the temptation instead of accusing women of being manipulative and seductive by showing their knee caps?

What are you talking about now? Are you talking about something like the Catholic School Girl uniform? Everyone, including the boys are expected to dress modestly. But men don't wear skirts. And the girls are the ones that want to alter their skirts to show off more thigh. It's not about the sexiness of kneecaps, the knee is an obvious cut off point that a rule can be made around.

What it the rule was, a skirt must extend downwards to at least 20" inches below the waist? Then administrators are going to be running around with measuring tape? And the girls would just pull the waist of the skirt up higher.

So they say some shit like "no higher than an inch above the knee" - which still exposes the knee anyway. Jeez, we don't wanna see your knees, we wanna see your thighs.

Okay so you acknowledge that some people have trouble assessing things for the longterm but can’t understand why they would make dumb decisions? Also young people literally have less developed frontal cortexes so yes they actually aren’t as good at making long term decisions. For this same reason young men are far more likely to be involved in things like crime vs older men.

Ok then, once again, what is the cut off? When has the brain developed enough that we can all go "ok, you're an adult now."

And hey, how come it's always said that "girls mature faster than boys" when it makes the girls feel good about themselves. So, isn't an 18 year old really more of a like... 20 year old? Funny how that idea goes right out the window when she wants to avoid accountability. "OMG I was only 18!" So yeah, you were more like 20. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

That’s actually not true because the brain continues to develop into the 20s.

Once again the problem with this way of thinking doesn't take into account the long term effects. Saying "her brain wasn't even fully developed yet" is a great short-term play to avoid accountability NOW. However, as I already pointed out, do you really want the laws to change to reflect that?

How old does a woman have to be before she forfeits the "I wasn't fully developed" card? 25? Ok then, women can't vote until 25, they just aren't mentally developed yet.

Do you see how a few women looking to avoid accountability could really fuck things up for all the normal, reasonable, rational women out there?

There's a 22 year old female University grad out there that has just been offered a great high paying job, but she can't take it because some 22 year old e-thots got the laws changed to where neither of them are considered mentally mature enough yet... all because some slut wanted to avoid accountability for fucking 5 guys on camera for cash when she was 18.

Men can't think like this because we do not get the provide of playing "young naive victim" card. Unless we are diagnoses with an actual mental impairment - from the moment we are 18, the consensus is that it's all on me.

And as long as you are willing to cherry pick when women are accountable (when things are going well) and then hide behind the "was was young and naive" (when things are NOT going well), then there will never be true equality. Men will respect women less, rightly so - because women are held to a lower standard. And this is a real disservice to the majority of women, over the long term.

But, apparently that's ok as long as we protect the bad feelings (shame and guilt) of some impulsive slut that decided it was a good idea to sell her body (and soul) for some quick and 'easy' money.

Isn't it weird how, up until the sexual revolution, it was men (the patriarchy) that severely restricted porn... and then the feminists claimed that was oppression. Now they are 'free from their chains' to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and then claim it was men that did this to them.

Men have always known promiscuity is bad - even though this goes against our nature to see and have as many hot young sexual partners as possible. It was women that said "FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME" and dudes were like "holy crap, FINE, have it your way" and they did. And now want to blame men for simply adapting to the new order.

It's like this... on one hand, I love sluts. Lot's of almost free sex, especially in my youth. I didn't have to commit myself to them for a lifetime just to get some action.

Flash forward 20 years and now the "reformed whores" are looking to marry and men (of value) are like, no way.

And guess who's to blame? HEADLINE NEWS: MEN.

Why? "Because her brain wasn't fully developed yet"

Nope, it's because accountability is kryptonite to women.

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[–]puddingbike 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

PURGE WEEK

Yeah, that Asian woman part gets me a lot.

These white-man-obsessed Asian women are the biggest bunch of BRAINWASHED, skin-lightening cunts out there.

The other group that kills me are these fat and disgusting white bitches who are totally lazy and constantly shoving food in their fat faces. That parts okay. If you're lazy and gluttonous, that's your business.

BUT, don't demonize a man like myself for paying you NO ATTENTION! You disgust me. Your laziness disgusts me. Your gluttony disgusts me. And, what kills me is the whole cultural structural apparatus in place designed to brainwash men into saying these fat and disgusting lazy women are BEAUTIFUL!

Sorry! I'm with Jordan Peterson on this one! You're not beautiful you fucking fat thing. You disgust me! Your laziness and gluttony is DISGUSTING! But, these bitches are also white and they think that's enough. They think they should just be able to wiggle their white fatness around and by virtue of their whiteness, all men are supposed to bow down. Sorry.

I don't want you. And, I'm not a bad man for not wanting you!

As the cartoon depicts, these same ugly women think it's their right to have some beautiful tall man...and, if he's also superficial, he's a no good son of a bitch! As I've often said, women are MUCH more superficial than men.

THE PAINFUL, BRUTAL TRUTH DURING PURGE WEEK

[–]Cobra_x30 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]puddingbike 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

PURGE WEEK RULES

"You go Jabba!, go get yours!"

I hear you on all counts. Jabba can go through life being Jabba DA KWEEN, and whatever...what kills me about Jabba, though, is that if I don't want Jabba, then I'm a superficial, no good son of a bitch. That's the part that kills me.

former arena league football player. This guy was tall, handsome, jacked... and black as night.

Some black men just go absolutely stupid for any piece of white meat...and, similar to how the Asian brainwashed retard gals go stupid for any white man...a lot of black men go full dipshit for any ole piece of white blubber... weird how that works... some of these black dudes are beautiful and could get so much better including knockout gorgeous black or Latina women...but, they're just brainwashed for any piece of white blubber.

Some black men and Asian women have a lot in common. They've been brainwashed to worship whiteness.

[–]Cobra_x30 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I hear you on all counts. Jabba can go through life being Jabba DA KWEEN, and whatever...what kills me about Jabba, though, is that if I don't want Jabba, then I'm a superficial, no good son of a bitch. That's the part that kills me.

It's an attempt to control and demonize you... and shit on men like to communicate.

Some black men and Asian women have a lot in common. They've been brainwashed to worship whiteness.

I think it's likely less of a brainwashing thing and much, much more of a difference in cultural beauty standards.

I've got a lady friend who is Korean and she specifically dates white guys. However, she made an exception for a 6'1" Chinese guy, and she don't date short white guys. So... this stuff is just kind of a jumble. I see a lot of black guys like dating really big black women too. So maybe race is a secondary issue here... or maybe it's not.

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I also know quite a few white men here that are 10-30 years in with their Thai wives where that isn’t the case & they are just long term happily marrieds.

I know a guy who is like 5'4" chubby and older who married a Thai woman who is 5'3", chubby and about 6 years younger than him. They have 2 kids and seem really happy living in the US. Honestly, she isn't very pretty, but neither is he.

Here is the thing... Thai ladies like economic security and hard working dudes... they will take a pass on some good looks to get a guy better in those categories. Western Ladies absolutely despise hard working, boring, family men.... so this is a good tradeoff. Western women can stick with the flashy guy who isn't shit, but will punch them in the face as needed... and asian ladies will marry the boring high earning guys.

I live in a US tech hub... I see this dynamic play out all the time.

[–]omegajelly200 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Yea they are of the Haughty Hottie types, self-hating, dumb, vapid, shallow. Often times they don't have a good answer to why they date their white men other than "Asian man bad bad bad" or "White man good good good!" Everything has to be about race or preconceived stereotypes. They don't like their man as a person.

On the other hand white women who date Asian men....that's a refreshing perspective. I hear positive qualities they describe of their mates that transcend race or stereotypes.

Also jokes on them....if these Asian women do get to keep these white guys, these white guys will then ironically subject them to the exact same patriarchal attitudes given by the Asian men they demonize so much. Heck, these white guys who fetishize Asian women all say the same shit...they want to have a woman to subjugate but white women are buff, masculine, etc.

[–]Cobra_x30 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Often times they don't have a good answer to why they date their white men other than "Asian man bad bad bad" or "White man good good good!" Everything has to be about race or preconceived stereotypes. They don't like their man as a person.

Well... I'm a white guy who lived in Asia for a while, so I've spent a lot of time with these ladies. Most of them aren't really "hot" by asian standards to start with... and also I've noticed a lot of them have terrible issues with their father.

Depending on the culture too... there is a group who just wants to get away from the cultural expectations asian cultures put on women. This group though isn't about to get pumped and dumped... you will find a lot of Chinese and Vietnamese women in this category.

On the other hand white women who date Asian men....that's a refreshing perspective. I hear positive qualities they describe of their mates that transcend race or stereotypes.

Not many white ladies do, but they tend to have fantastic personalities. I notice they tend to be super family-oriented women who greatly value hard working and successful men. Just saying.

[–]riceweight 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

AF in WMAF relationship. Definitely realize my experience is not universal, but hoping to give a different perspective.

I only dated Asian guys for the longest time. Wasians are the most attractive to me, followed by East Asian, then S Asian, then assorted middle eastern races, then white, then Latino, then Black.

However, that’s only the physical stuff.

Wasians of my generation tend to have mommy issues from the Asian tiger parenting on the mom’s side. I’m always happy to see counter examples though because that gives me hope for my future kids.

Relationship wise, there’s just something off about a lot of Asian men. The best way I can describe it is that they’re cucked by their parents. Filial piety is fantastic (my white bf’s grandma lives with his parents and both take care of her willingly) but a lot of the time I cannot discern between an Asian guy’s values and his parents’ values, or he’s in rebellion to his parents so that they’re still occupying an oversized portion of his mind rent-free.

Now, S Asian and ME dudes are by and large fuckboys and/or not Christian, so it’s not worth sorting through them at all. I have S Asian guy friends but they’re not relationship material and neither are their friends.

That brings us to white guys. I actually don’t know that many given I live in the Bay and associate mainly with software engineers, so I frankly didn’t even realize I could be super attracted to one until I met my current bf. Here’s the main draw that I’ve seen — the family is so accepting of you, as the gf. They want to include you. They want you there for Christmas. They don’t make you jump through hoops, or interview you. All they ask is that their son is happy with you. I WANT to take care of my future in laws when they need it because of how good they already are to me. To their kids — the parents love and treat my bf and his siblings well no matter what. There was never any pressure to achieve academic excellence, rather the focus was on building moral character and having a strong family foundation. And since my bf grew up with other white families, he says this is apparently a common dynamic. Also they tend to be either Christian already or are very open to Christianity, which is fantastic for me as a Christian.

And sample size of 1, but my bf is fantastic at communicating through disagreements. There’s no avoidance, emotional shutdown, etc that Asian guys are unfortunately conditioned to go through Bc strict parents. Rather it’s “ok, we’re mad at each other, let’s talk through it and figure it out. And I know we’re upset, but just so you know, I love you.” And I’m like 🥺.

NOTE: I have a lot of the same issues that I’ve criticized Asian guys for in this comment. I don’t want these issues compounded in a marriage with kids, so I place a high priority on finding a man with qualities that balance mine out. I do bring other things to the table that white guys/gals typically don’t, but that’s a topic for another time.

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[–]TheWorldIsSoPathetic 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

But in reality, they all have pathetic preferences because Americans are a damaged, hateful and superficial people

Notice how White American guys usually only tend to "prefer" East Asian women BECAUSE White American women are chased by every guy and have super high standards as a result. It's not genuine. Unlike in countries where you see White men with White women and every other non-White women, that's genuine. Excessive WMAF where every other non-WF is demonized in spite of XMWF is obviously a backlash and a shit ton of Murican guys justify it by saying that White women are like this and that, Asian women are better. Also, the whole "muh Asian women are pure/like White women pre-feminism!!" is a sure sign of a guy who's just using Asian women as a backup and actually prefers WF instead.

Thin woman pref is normal but American men are the fattest mofos Ive ever seen so its funny

And age gaps don't work for moral reasons, idc. Its not for a good reason they want to suck a womans youth out of her. If you fatherless clownshows had dads you'd remember that they'd warn thier daughters about dating older men who just want them for their youth. Same thing flies here

And only liking men over 6 foot is dumb. I never could stand that "preference" and if you need a man that tall to feel feminine then you're probably high T and masculine yourself (unless you're also tall)

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There’s actually an angry black man arguing back and forth with me right now because I said I’m open to dating white guys 😂 he’s right under this thread idk if you can see him or not, but yeah a lot of black males have a double standard when it comes to interracial dating… to them, it’s ok for black men to date outside of their race and explore their options with non black women, but these same black men get extremely bitter and angry when they see a black woman exploring her options with non black men, it’s hypocritical, but me and some of my other black female friends who date interracially have all noticed this, so that’s why I just came on here to correct OP… some black women definitely do it too, but it would be incorrect to imply that black men don’t also get salty when it’s the other way around too 🤣

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men get angry when women have height, income racial, and body preferences, even if women say nothing negative about guys who dont satisfy that standard

IMO this is because of how men were raised in the US. Society tells men to work hard and make good decisions. pay taxes. Be a nice person. Treat women respectfully. etc.

IN RETURN, the idea was at least 1 or 2 girls would take interest in you and believe in you, be attracted to you. Not just to your money or the attention you give them, but to you as an individual human.

This was a cruel joke. The Big Lie, IMO. This implicit social contract has been breaking since the 1980s. Online dating and Instagram destroyed whatever remained of it.

Ya know how LinkedIn ruined the job market for workers?

Well Tinder, Instagram, and OLD have done the same to dating for men

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They rarely do just that.

Complete qnd total conjecture and comfirmation bias. You're more likely to notice the loudest most mysoginistic comments.

I'm talking about them screaming that women should fit their preferences or else are wrong, bad, disgusting, etc.

There are posts on this sub of men just saying they want a partner with low n. They're still lambasted. People will ask men why they want a fit woman or low n woman and reasonably so, they'll say obesity has lots of health complications. Then that is used as proof of them being screeching and lambasting women. The same happens for low n count. Explaining the positives and negatives of you preference is never seen as a negative for women but for men unless you actively say that obese women are stunning and amazing and strong, along with "but i like fit women" you're still called insecure.

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Okay you’re right it’s not shaming but it is telling a woman that she should be with a man simply because he likes her, how she feels is irrelevant for some reason. Also usually in that context what “he does” is something annoying or harmful to the woman. Women are socialized to see men treating them negatively as something that should propel them to be receptive to them. It’s sick and weird.

I was being hyperbolic using spinster. People may not actually use that word these days but they still look down on women who are single.

It doesn’t really matter if men choose to be single or not as much as women. No one really cares if the woman chose to be single and childless at that end of the day just that she is those things. When we picture the lonely spinster with her 10 cats we’re not concerned if she chose that life for herself or not. She simply is looked down upon as not fulfilling her duties as some man’s personal live in maid and sex doll.

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I mean maybe men could consider not broadcasting to the world their preferences along with their racist and misogynistic justifications.

You know why men shorter than me don’t hate me? Because I stfu and just happily dated guys taller than me. It’s called having social skills and common sense.

Yeah it’s better to have a partner with more money because newsflash you need money to live. Women’s preferences are smart and not hateful therefore they don’t get hated on.

Men use nasty rhetoric and historically horrible and oppressive mindsets to justify theirs. Just…be quiet. And no one would care.

Imagine if men were smart enough to just say “well honestly I just think Asian features are really pretty and stand out to me. Other women are beautiful too and I would date them too, asian women just stick out to me personally”.

Instead they literally choose to submit themselves to hate because they’re dumb enough to say or admit stupid shit like “Asian women are submissive and will let me make all the decisions because women are too emotional to think for themselves”.

No man would want to hear that crap about himself either so why on earth or how on earth could someone be dumb enough to say that to women?.

We’re born with brains. It’s pretty useful to you know, use them.

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if that’s the case at X age the chances of a woman having more relationship/situationship opportunities than a man is vastly higher.

Every straight woman’s relationship with a man also requires a man to be in a relationship with her. Numerically, since there’s also equal numbers of men and women (roughly), that means the total odds are even.

What you mean is that the most desirable women (young, thin, pretty) have many more opportunities than an average man. But that requires overlooking all less undesirable women (older, fatter, uglier).

The evidence is in dating apps where if women truly tried they would probably find very good quality life partners.

Dating apps are 90% male because the experience kinda blows for women. If women all really tried, they wouldn’t all succeed. There are absolutely not enough 79+ passing score men available for all women. The reason (desirable) women have it so easy on apps is because there are so few desirable women looking, and they’re in demand from all men of all ages, looks, and weights.

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Title	PPD women be like:
Author	ScrimmyBingusTwo
Upvotes	595
Comments	552
Date	June 15, 2023 12:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14a144p/ppd_women_be_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ppd-women-be-like.1222008 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222008

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