Question for Men: What about having a partner whose company you enjoy?

Bandit174 · 2020-11-23T16:55:01+00:00

For context, I am a virgin/never dated. I also don't necessarily identify as RP, but I do see truth in some of the dynamics they speak of.

So, I think guys on RP focus more on sex stuff because generating sexual interest or being sexually validated by a woman is what guys are more likely to stuggle with or lack. Finding a woman who you enjoy spending time with is argubly easier than finding one who really desires you physically.Thats why its far more common to hear a guy complain about being friend zoned than being fuckbuddy zoned.

I absolutely want a woman who I enjoy spending time with, share common interests/humor with and who can overall act as a teammate in life. However, a lot of those things I can already get from male friends and even female friends so physical intimacy (sex, cuddling, physical touch) are what we tend to lack and as a result what we tend to focus in on.

nomadunkown · 2020-11-23T18:17:49+00:00

Let me tell you a secret...

Most men wish there was no need for the red pill.

If they could find a cute girl who was fun to be around and keep her...why would they bother with the red pill?

passepar2t · 2020-11-23T16:53:35+00:00

The Red Pill worldview doesn't have nice things to say about women but it's a good way to get struggling guys to take off their shining armor and rose-tinted glasses.

The Red Pill strategy is focused on increasing the amount of sex you have. Enjoying someone's company falls outside its scope.

Whether or not you enjoy a woman's company depends on you and the woman, not on the Red Pill. I enjoy the company of women and by being Red Pilled, I can ensure that some of the ones I like also like me back, which leads to even more enjoyment for both of us. Some guys don't enjoy women's company and that's fine too.

The Red Pill also says she's not yours, it's just your turn. People see that as a bad thing but to me it's very comforting. If we break up, I can still enjoy our time together without it being retroactively tainted. It was my turn and that's good enough for me.

NotGoingoutofMW · 2020-11-23T16:58:01+00:00

You have to understand the standpoint most men are coming from. They come from situations like being virgins up till 30+ age or one kiss and one time sex in 5-10 years.

The first and foremost what has to be done is to get more attractive, percieved more attractive and following this, getting some enjoyment of one of the best things from being a human which is sex and intimacy.

If you set yourself up for meeting and sexualizing with some women at a regurlar basis then a partner whose company you enjoy will appear eventually.

Fun Fact: The raging misogynistic tone you whitness in the red pill is mostly a reflection of what women said to these guys in one way or another. May it be rejections, getting used as an emotional tampon (onesided) or just plainly being lied to. It is proven that percieved injustice creates a huge amount of negative reactions in humans.

TheJim66 · 2020-11-23T17:24:41+00:00

One thing that keeps sticking out to me is how poorly a lot of the strategies that people talk about here set you up for one of the things that I believe is the best and most important part of a relationship--actually enjoying each other's company.

Uhmm, how does any RP idea stops you from getting women whose company you enjoy?

rft24 · 2020-11-23T17:03:34+00:00

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LowCreddit · 2020-11-23T19:56:15+00:00

Here's the problem with your question. Most women do not understand what it is to be unsexable until their 50's. For women, it is just picking the best guy you can keep the interest of. Men do not even get the luxury of picking any women until they can first be attractive to them. Men would love it if just enjoying each others company were sexy to women, but it's not. If this were true, the friendzone would never exist. You would hang out together, enter a relationship, and then raise a happy family together enjoying each other for who they are. That would be nice, but is alien to all but the most naturally attractive people on the planet.

XtoDoubt · 2020-11-23T17:30:26+00:00

Women that are sexually aroused by you are much more enjoyable to be around.

Throwawayforshitt · 2020-11-23T16:56:30+00:00

Hell yeah that’s a worthy goal

My girl has to be someone whose company I enjoy. I think it’s a good idea and I’m seeking it.

I’m a weirdo- I dont want kids and I just wanna live a happy free hedonistic life. If I can find a girl who is on the same page as me thats 👌🏽

jdobrila · 2020-11-23T17:12:04+00:00

"Ideally you want more from relationship than sex, but it is the sex that makes it a relationship"

reluctantly_red · 2020-11-23T17:31:38+00:00

Of course a guy needs to enjoy the company of his GF/wife. If a woman isn't nice to have around she never gets promoted to GF/wife status.

wtknight · 2020-11-23T16:57:19+00:00

Married TRP advocates for Captain/First Mate relationships, which would seemingly mean that the two people in that marriage should get along, as captains and first mates who don't get along probably aren't very effective.

I think that regular TRP is focused more towards younger guys who are still looking to have sexual adventures, though, and, as a result, the advice stresses how to find that rather than how to find someone who is a good companion. Still, I don't think that there's anything in their advice that would be contrary to the idea of eventually finding that good companion while one is out having sexual adventures, although I do think that a man who internalizes too much of TRP is less likely to attract more psychologically well-adjusted women and more likely to attract women of lower psychological quality.

Barely-moral · 2020-11-23T17:10:57+00:00

What about having a partner whose company you enjoy?

Important. But the hard part is in being attractive and getting laid, so RP strategies aim for those.

Do you think this is not actually a worthy goal?

Yes. But you don't need strategies for finding that kind of person. You need strategies to be attractive for that person and making that person willing and enthusiastic about having sex with you.

Do you think it is somehow impossible to enjoy a woman's company in this way?

It is possible to enjoy a woman's company. It is impossible to enjoy a woman's company in the same way you enjoy a male friend's company.

Do you think that this is a good idea and is possible, but is so unlikely that you are not seeking it?

No. But I understand why some men would think that. See the comment above.

principledbeast1 · 2020-11-23T17:30:57+00:00

I've dated a lot of women, my divorce really made me re-evaluate what was important in a partner. Now that I am older I just want someone who isn't going to give me crap all the time and is easy to get along with. My girlfriend I have now is probably the least physically attractive woman I have been with (solid 5/10) but she is also the funniest, most caring, and most easy going woman I have even been with, and that is why I am with her. Hot women make terrible relationship partners in my experience.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-11-23T18:09:31+00:00

It helps to think of RP as a rehabilitation center for either men too inexperienced to thrive “in the wild” or men who have been hurt in a previous relationship and are both wary but also unsure of how to avoid it happening again.

Essentially, all the ugly stupid shit they say is either just sour grapes, because they can’t get relationships so they convince themselves that’s a good, or it’s because they are trying to avoid something that might look nice, but has not been nice for them in the past.

Not all men have these hang ups, though all men have some hang ups (same as women). Some men just have more than others, and it makes their lives exactly as hard as you’d think it would

migmatitic · 2020-11-23T17:21:56+00:00

It's super important. I got my feet wet with some RP philosophy but after banging a handful of girls I really couldn't stand to be around, I realized it wasn't going to work for me. I want a partner I feel compelled to respect beyond just basic human respect... ONS are fun, but a relationship with somebody is a lot more valuable.

Of course, that won't stop me from getting some quick pussy between relationships as a stopgap measure, but the joy of hookups comes as much from seeing the person as it does from never seeing them again.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-11-23T21:02:35+00:00

"Enjoying each other's company" is not what relationships are about. For this to happen, the man has to make a hundred other things "right" to reduce the female's level of negative emotion to the point where she is CAPABLE of being fun to be around.

A dissatisfied woman might be CAPABLE of being fun to be around, but she is not. In fact, she makes a point to make everyone around her as miserable as she is.

Women need to be "happy" (have myriad conditions met) before they can contemplate being happy, and even then, for them, this "happiness" is not genuine contentment but what looks more like a fleeting reprieve from an otherwise constant state of want.

This is why I recommend men do not "commit" to a specific woman, but just do enjoyable things with ones that are presently in a good mood, and when that mood changes, just move on.

ijustwannabeagoat · 2020-11-23T17:02:45+00:00

My ultimate goal is always to find relationships based on deep connections, common interests, transparency, etc.

I think there’s no pill for this because unfortunately no one will even bother going as for as trying to connect with someone unless there’s that initial attraction.

But it feels like a losing game sometimes. Because you might put effort into being groomed and extroverted (TRP), but then the exact type of girl you’re looking for who will reject you right away because they’ll assume you’re just a fuccboi/normie etc. Or course, not putting in any effort will also get you nowhere. So it just feels like trial and error until the stars align.

For example, I’m tall and recently started working out, but have always been awkward and nerdy. My ideal female friend or SO would also have been shy and nerdy growing up maybe even fat but also recently started focusing on self improvement. This is important because especially for girls if you were popular your whole childhood and never spent any time alone you will probably not have developed your personality, character, perspective on the world etc. (I tried to find a better way to phrase that last point.. I hope you understand what I mean).

As we both glow up it becomes harder as far as I can tell to identify and find each other. We’re all just aiming for attractive people and hoping that that’s not all they are.. that underneath that there’s actually a cool person.

petrichordium · 2020-11-23T16:57:52+00:00

Companionate relationships are very easy for me. I always turn into my girlfriend’s gay bff after a few years. When i used to be a better boyfriend, this resulted in ppl wasting years of my life telling me “oh we need to work on blah blah” then when we break up her next dude doesn’t satisfy any of the things she griped at me over but hits new tingles. Now i have learned to dump her immediately or just torch the relationship.

Basically, a warm happy fuzzy low passion relationship is not just useless, it is WORSE than useless bc it clogs up your life. So it’s not that i avoid it bc it’s hard or i don’t value women. It’s bc warm fuzzy affectionate relationships are easy cheap and nothing to write home about. Fuck that, i want passion and sex.

erottawa · 2020-11-23T19:07:28+00:00

If you don't enjoy your partner's company, you most definitely don't love them. So yeah, it's absolutely essential for a long term relationship.

Karmanger · 2020-11-23T19:45:05+00:00

That's what I would call a Unicorn, It would be great to find a girl that shared similar interests and hobbies as me.... But alas she does not exist.

2020-11-23T20:33:36+00:00

36 years on earth have taught me that women enjoy my company. That doesn't surprise me in the least: I'm well-read, funny, and good-looking enough to pull off the annual ONS (with a Caucasian landwhale, but whatevs, had sex). My social circle includes women: gfs of male friends and smattering of acquaintances from running club.

Do you think that [enjoying one another's company] is a good idea and is possible, but is so unlikely that you are not seeking it?

This is the scenario for the bottom 80% guys here. In my own experience, there has been no overlap between the circle of women with whom I share a mutual enjoyment of company and the [much smaller] circle of women who might consider fucking me. Red Pill helps me manage my expectations, enhance my value proposition, and budget my time and energy for the battles that I am actually capable of winning.

CentralAdmin · 2020-11-23T22:48:31+00:00

actually enjoying each other's company.

This is very idealistic. A good goal, but idealistic. Men and women tend to have different interests and express themselves differently. This can lead to poor communication, disagreements and criticism.

This doesn't mean men don't want a partner whose company they enjoy. If you ask men about personality traits, kindness and intelligence are important to them for LTRs. It's just that finding a kind, intelligent woman who is also not obese or who is not a single mom is becoming more difficult. Women also have ridiculously high standards for partners.

As a result, RP men have seen the type of men that get attention from women. They're usually tall, physically fit and confident. Offering kindness and intelligence to women isn't going to do more than get you friendzoned. There are many men who missed out on the sexual excitement their friends were having when they were young so they feel they need to play catch up.

They wouldn't be chasing casual or non committed sex as much if women found them worthy before. They also noticed women refusing to settle down in their 20s (when some men were ready), so why should they settle down when women desire LTRs? A man who is hot first will always have more options than a man who is a good person first. It's the reality of how relationships work.

Additionally, men want to believe there are women out there who are kind, intelligent, attractive and wife material (unicorns) but they've given up because most women just aren't willing to compromise. So RP says 'enjoy the decline' because you can at least get easy sex from women rather than being lonely and holding out for The One. That and men, broadly speaking, tend to find the company of their male friends more mentally stimulating than pretending to be interested in women's affairs.

HCHDGSH · 2020-11-24T00:15:43+00:00

I follow soms red pill content creators. When they speak on this subject I consistently hear them say that for an LTR they'd rather have a pleasant and fun 7 than an insufferable 9.5.

LooseIndication · 2020-11-24T00:23:17+00:00

All self respecting men want only the company of enjoyable women, including sex. The rest of women are only for pump and dump.

But is not the duty of men to "enjoy" you. It is 100%% YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to be enjoyable.

Silverpixelmate · 2020-11-23T16:56:39+00:00

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Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-11-23T18:47:54+00:00

TRP is a sexual strategy for men. It has nothing to do with finding a “partner”. Let alone finding one whose company one enjoys.

Dontwriteher · 2020-11-23T22:28:40+00:00

Had that at one point. Dated a girl who I had a great connection with. Similar humour and everything. We could spend 24/7 with each other for months and not grow tired of each other. We even liked to experiment sexually. But I did date he for her personality, so whenever she took her clothes off ..... OOF! Had to think of anime tiddies to get it up. Had to think of anime tiddies to ejaculate. Felt bad because I loved her much. But she just refused to get in shape.

After that I dated a girl purely for looks. Spending time with her was drag until she took her clothes off. Never had a problem getting it up with her (ok, once. Because I was tired. Sue me!) .

So yeah. Looks aren't everything. But they're also not nothing.

MrJive01 · 2020-11-23T23:56:40+00:00

I have enough friends.

SeemedGood · 2020-11-23T20:09:03+00:00

Of course it is.

Thing is that women tend to be much more solipsistic (and thus demanding) than men, making it more difficult to enjoy their company.

phifson · 2020-11-23T16:59:46+00:00

redpillers are brainwashed. normal, functioning boys/men do care about looks but also want great company. ideally a relationship in which youre both comfortable and enjoy each other. being kind to each other is what normal people desire

Jaktenba · 2020-11-23T19:22:57+00:00

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Laytheblameonluck · 2020-11-23T20:14:54+00:00

Women have an Alpha/Beta dichotomy, like how men have a Madonna/Whore dichotomy.

Because of this, a lot of women can't maintain sexual interest with a guy who spends too much time with them and is too available.

Another problem is that due to social media and OLD, many women don't have the skills to talk to men, they can only have sex with them.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-11-24T19:47:48+00:00

Guys on Reddit don’t see the value of a relationship over sex because they haven’t had enough of either to compare. That is all. The average man will never have enough sex to compare being sexually satisfied to being emotionally satisfied... at least not the way things are now

listenyall · 2020-11-23T16:46:07+00:00

Why would you need companionship? I am not asking this in a snarky way..Many of us have Asperger's Syndrome and non-topical based companionship seems pointless...You need a companion to do hobby maths, another companion to watch and geek over history, etc etc...you get the point....General companionship leads to disaster...interest based, module like companionship is much more rewarding and efficient

Haywood_Jablomie42 · 2020-11-24T02:20:30+00:00

What possibly makes you think men don't want a woman who's company they enjoy? The problem is that very few women HAVE any sort of personality because they spent their entire life being pampered and never learned how to hold an interesting conversation or get a hobby.

cuckspace · 2020-11-24T09:28:44+00:00

These are exactly the kind of teenage pipe dreams TRP exists to dispel. A woman cannot be a man’s best friend. Too much comfort destroys attraction. A woman doesn’t love a man’s core being, just how he makes her feel. We may all wish it wasn’t so, but it just is. That’s why TRP is a bitter pill to swallow. In The Matrix the true reality was a lot uglier than the fabricated one they were made to believe in.

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-11-23T16:44:05+00:00

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CanisLupisAutism · 2020-11-23T17:04:05+00:00

I don't know what this OP means. Of course you want to be with a woman whose company you enjoy, that's what the Red Pill helps you obtain.

-since · 2020-11-23T17:12:24+00:00

Keep in mind enjoying a partner's company is secondary to a man's primary objective with women (i.e. sex)

I enjoy my LTRs company, but I'm not actively seeking it.

I am actively seeking sex, and it's a plus I get to enjoy her company.

SheerSocialSuicide · 2020-11-23T17:30:57+00:00

I enjoy the company of cats, I pet them in the street and sometimes sit in the garden with them.

I just don't want to bring one into my home. By getting a cat I then have to worry about its health, shelter, food, and well-being.

A lot of people don't think the trade-off is worth it by diving into a real relationship. You can enjoy the company of men and women by just having them around as friends, or as fwb if you want something more intimate.

The company found in longer term commitment would not be significantly different, but it would absolutely be barbed and every minute of it makes it harder and more expensive and more painful to detatch from it.

You're sacrificing your independence and your money to have a woman live with you, it's not a permanent fixture I really want in my life. I just hang around with fwbs/ex-fwbs even go travelling and on holidays with them. But they don't sleep in my house and I don't have any obligations towards them.

deeredman1991 · 2020-11-23T17:51:36+00:00

I can't enjoy anyone's company when I've got a raging hard on.

Until I'm having sex with you; I have no idea if I enjoy your company or not because the only thing I am thinking about when I'm around you is fucking... After I get that out of the way; then I can determine if you're cool. Sure, there are some obvious signs that we aren't going to work out long term but I'm probably still looking to smash because; I have a dick that is starved for attention.

Quite frankly, you don't know if you would enjoy my company until after we fuck either because I'm not the same person after I get comfortable around someone and I can't get comfortable around a woman unless we are fucking. (Boners aren't comfortable people...)

throw-away-1709 · 2020-11-23T17:53:24+00:00

I am in a longer ltr.

I am RP. I am older.

I enjoy her company to answer the question. As we are 24/7/365 together (we do not have to work) we have much more time together in a year than others have in 10 years.

This puts behavior and enjoyment under a microskope.

But it is awalt. If it wouldn't be a highly sexual relationship it would end. She also behaves like all women do. It is their nature.

I do not like the company of a women at my side beside the one i fu$$.

In a social setting - ok. But i prefer not to talk to them. Was different at times when i was younger.

brojuststfu · 2020-11-23T17:57:31+00:00

Of course it’s a worthy goal. Nobody wants to keep around someone who’s annoying or doesn’t click well with them. Even if she’s a total babe, if the chemistry isn’t there, it’s just gonna feel off imo.

It is possible, I’ve had fun with women i wasn’t sleeping with before. It’s just hard to find. I actually still have no idea how to reliably find it lol, guess I’ll have to figure it out once I play the field again.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-11-23T19:04:35+00:00

That would be great, though it seems like a fantasy from most of the relationships that I've seen. Almost everyone is doing their best to stay together rather than split up and seek out the same thing, but a little different. They jump from one sinking ship to another until they either drown or reach land.

Also, I wonder how realistic such a relationship is to maintain assuming that theres still a high degree of sexual attraction. If a man becomes a woman's friend, basically, sex virtually disappears. We can only have a partner whose company we enjoy in the sense that they're there, not that we're bestest friends and know each other inside and out.

I guess we can dream though.

losermusic · 2020-11-23T19:06:51+00:00

Hi, like some other posts in this thread, I'm also not on TRP. I agree with you.

But yeah, in a sentence, I'm handsome and smart and fun to be around and stuff. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think TRP is geared toward men who are, by nature, lacking in one or more of these departments, so they're cultivating what they can or something like that, idk.

And yeah, I'm very grateful to be with someone whose company I enjoy, especially during a global pandemic with quarantines for months on end, lol.

alialahmad1997 · 2020-11-23T19:27:40+00:00

I am a man but not a red piller i noticed from mu conversations with them that there are 2 kinds One is the hurt from personal experience and afraid this will happen they now see women as manupliative and they don't like it they just lost hope in normal relationships trp knowledge for them is a shock and depressing fact The other is the more agressive thry feel trp knowledge in enlightening and a life hack from my conversation of some of those relationships is a beta move and if u have sex u need nothing else

John_Oakman · 2020-11-23T20:17:06+00:00

For platonic friends, the gender does not matter. If I'm looking to fulfil my social obligations by providing financial & economic resources for the raising of a child, then what I prefer are for the most part irrelevant.

YasuotheChosenOne · 2020-11-23T20:38:16+00:00

Uh... the red pill is about getting pussy, not LTRs.

Being good company/compatible is a requirement for LTR status. Only a fool would LTR some female he didn’t get along with just because she’s hot. Especially if he’s already fucking her lol.

medlabunicorn · 2020-11-23T20:41:11+00:00

Terps don’t believe that women have any personality that matters, as demonstrated by many of the answers here. They see ALL women (and often men) as basically automatons following the same set of evolutionary programming, with nearly zero ability to deviate from that programming.

trashrelations · 2020-11-23T20:52:46+00:00

uninterested. been there, done that. if you have goals and priorities in your life, settling down is almost sure way to never achieve those goals.

Death110 · 2020-11-23T21:18:01+00:00

I think it’s the most important. When I look for a gf I try to see how we would interact living together and being together normally to get a gist of how compatible we are

Edit: I’m a 16 year old virgin

Christian_Kong · 2020-11-23T21:27:11+00:00

It is a worthy goal if you want a quality LTR. It is possible but really isn't exactly likely. Most men have to pass the looks test for women, otherwise you are likely to end up in the good friends category(nothing wrong with this.)

Most men have to get the best out of what they can attain and a lot of times that means living with qualities in a partner that they are not happy with.

The reason TRP strategies are set up for STR's is that TRP mostly leans into the STR strategy, though there is talk of how to manage a LTR as well.

As a woman you are likley going to have access to a lot more men and thus are a lot more likely to meet someone you have (what you perceive as) great social chemistry with. Most men either don't have ability to get to know a lot of women or have to put in significant effort to do so.

groupme_throwaway · 2020-11-23T22:13:47+00:00

I don't think that's really so easy.

There was a post a while back (which I can't find for some reason) asking about famous women who men would enjoy for their company and great personality, it was a very underwhelming list.

priestMarX · 2020-11-23T22:44:30+00:00

I have had great relationships with women. But just enjoying someone’s company isn’t really worth the hassle the older I get of having to deal with all of the destructive social conditioning force fed by society these days. I’m a super laid back person, and I really just don’t prefer the headache of having to manage someone else’s emotions and needs when I’m totally fine just being on my own, especially when men are culturally expected to bear the brunt of pursuit, date/event planning, and all the other things that come along with relationships.

Just my two cents though. If I found someone that gave me zero headaches and actually contributed to my life, MAYBE. But I’m in no way looking for anything like that

SydSd1 · 2020-11-23T22:45:56+00:00

The red pill isn’t about enjoying or not enjoying a partner’s company.

For me it’s knowing not to put up with females poor behaviour, not apologising just to keep the peace that sort of stuff. Building your own life.

No wonder many young guys just can’t be bothered and give up. Not worth the hassle. My son is very desirable to girls but after two bad experiences he’s given up and has zero intention of a relationship anytime soon. Not worth it. He’s in the top 20% not some loser either.

I enjoy female company but way prefer my male friends.

cloudydays84 · 2020-11-23T23:18:47+00:00

Do you think this is not actually a worthy goal?

It's not really a goal as much as it's a given, if I don't enjoy someone's company at a basic level then I likely just won't interact with them

Do you think it is somehow impossible to enjoy a woman's company in this way?

Nope

Do you think that this is a good idea and is possible, but is so unlikely that you are not seeking it?

Not unlikely no

anonymouscausefuckU · 2020-11-24T00:21:45+00:00

Lots of elaboration needed here. In what way does TRP poorly set you up for this? Your theory that TRP in some way contradicts the goal of having a partner whose company you enjoy is obviously going to be an extremely arguable one and you don’t provide any sort of backing evidence for that theory here. It’s therefore not at all possible to actually answer your question since the question is assuming from the get-go that your theory is true. But I’ll attempt to do so regardless: - No, of course it is a worthy goal - No, it’s obviously not impossible, lol - No, why would it be unlikely?

This whole post is honestly a bit absurd no offense lmao

tropicsGold · 2020-11-24T00:36:34+00:00

Is there anything in RP that is contrary to enjoying her company? I must have missed that part.

spingboys · 2020-11-24T00:44:26+00:00

I love the person i am with, she has an aura that just comforts me. I could have had the worst day and then i see her, hug her and smell her hair and everything is fine.

jakethegreatwhite · 2020-11-24T01:28:08+00:00

I don't think ive ever dated a woman i didn't like to be around(in the beginning) , that doesn't mean that they make good gf or wife material

Physiologist21 · 2020-11-24T01:34:57+00:00

Why on earth people are doing LTR and marriage with people whose company they don't enjoy would be beyond me. Aside from the very extensive vetting you need to do in terms of wifey skills, the main goal should be....

Find a friend you enjoy fucking. Sex is important but isn't the be all end all, I've had some insane porn star sex with more than a few women but I am not dumb enough to wife them up, evidently more then a few men do.

1-800-GANKS · 2020-11-24T01:40:03+00:00

Oh no. This is the most important part haha, absolutely.

I've loved my girlfriend for the past 3.5 years, probably going to marry her soon tbh.

We play videogames, have adventures, enjoy talking about hard topics and sharing thoughts with eachother.

I respect her a ton and love hearing her outlook on things, then sex is great too ofc but like, sex is probably 1-5% of the time you spend with a lifelong partner so, probably not the highest impacting experience imo.

Murdochsk · 2020-11-24T02:01:50+00:00

Sex and being intimate If that works move on to two;
Do I like them and get along with them? Are they a good person? I’ve tried putting two before one and you end up in a relationship with a great person and it can’t work out over time because sex is important too.
Am I super attracted to them? This comes third to me as I worked out in 2 that I’m attracted to them as a person and I’m able to have sex with them in one, so I’m obviously attracted to them. But are they knock down beautiful etc?

If I can get all 3 that’s the one. But first 2 I’ll take. Only number 1 and I had a good time at least .

If you do it out of order you end up dating who should be your friend.

DownVotesWrongsOnly · 2020-11-24T02:39:14+00:00

I'm going to try to cauterize that butchery of a question in the English language:

"One thing ... is how poorly a lot of the strategies ... set you up for ... actually enjoying each other's company."

What strategies? How might they poorly set one up for enjoying a significant other's company?

Swanlikesomething · 2020-11-24T03:16:21+00:00

These may have some offensive words to one so just please keep the stick out of your butt and it will be good ;PP I just often prefer being more direct than being too appropriate, and you have to cut on one to do the other.

Also, stuff that I have put there is what I have found myself what have been found to me by my friends who study psychology. So this sh#t is trying to be scientifically correct. If one finds something wrong with what I have put there, you can correct it in the comments.

> Do you think this is not actually a worthy goal?

Its a matter of preference but from what I have discovered many people could not think of their partners as their homies, its not the same for anyone, e.g. me and my girlfriend treat each other like best friends and we found it important in the relatioship. From what I know about psychology is objectively good to do so if you want to be succesful in your relationship long-term.

It might be a thing that if someone isn't looking for a long term relationship, they want to keep the image of the person as perfect as possible, to have better sexual urges towards them. Its effective to do so in the early stage of a relationship to keep person interested in you, but it is an effect that should decay overtime until you become somewhat of friends towards yourselves.

TLDR; a matter of preference, me and my gf do so

> Do you think it is somehow impossible to enjoy a woman's company in this way?

No. I have always had female friends. Its not like u want to bang every woman if you are a man XD I dont know what psychology says about it, but the idea of it is just so stupid to me. I have heard that Jung or Freud have been writing stuff like that but idk of what modern science says about it.

TLDR; yes and men are less sexual than women

What do you imagine men generally enjoy in woman's company?

> Do you think that this is a good idea and is possible, but is so unlikely that you are not seeking it?

Well, its not unlikely, partners who treat each other like friends make more stable couples.

> Something else?

Nah. You can correct me on any of these if I said something wrong.

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2020-11-24T04:18:08+00:00

Isn’t that whole point of LTR/marriage material? Someone who aside from sex you enjoy spending time with?

jackandjill22 · 2020-11-24T04:34:30+00:00

I don't understand the question.

2020-11-24T06:43:23+00:00

My ex-wife and I enjoyed eachother's company very much, and we still do. That didn't keep her around.

ex_red_black_piller · 2020-11-24T08:41:17+00:00

> Do you think that this is a good idea and is possible, but is so unlikely that you are not seeking it?

This is it for me. To me, women in general don't seem to be as adventurous as men. Even non-sexual humor that my male friends like, women don't seem to get. There's just a disconnect that I don't see getting bridged.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2020-11-24T11:33:30+00:00

To be fair, "Red Pill" stuff is mostly focused on the short-term sexual marketplace rather than the relationship marketplace. In short-term situations, its not so much about "enjoying their company" but "enjoying hot sex with them". So in other words, personality/character doesn't matter as much.

That said, I agree in a long-term relationship, actually ENJOYING the company of your partner is a necessity.

2020-11-24T13:00:59+00:00

I think for most they know it is so unlikely for them that they are not seeking it. You have to be both extremely lucky and extremely high value, and a man will only come across one worthy girl in a lifetime

2020-11-24T13:21:45+00:00

It's about the journey, not the destination. The journey is what most men and women struggle with, not being in a happy relationship (destination). I might just be speaking for myself here but I haven't had a relationship (romantic or sexual) in years. Some of this was voluntary but I would consider it largely involuntary. Call it being an incel or whatever, I don't identify with that title even if it technically applies. I take pretty good care of myself and live a normal life with friends and hobbies as most men do. We just aren't attractive in some way.

sadnloneafc · 2020-11-24T19:34:18+00:00

Being a virgin, I'm willing to date female hitler as long as it leads to sex

anomanderforPOTUS · 2020-11-25T16:50:31+00:00

I kind of always presumed this was always in the back of one's head anytime considering a partner so it was irrelevant to mention but from the responses here I guess that isn't always true.

Finding a relationship that makes you happy is really, really important. But that alone isn't enough. You also need certain overlaps to make it work.

I've only ever pursued relationships that I believed would make me happy. I would think that is the most common situation.

Holler4Heller · 2020-11-26T21:19:02+00:00

I’d argue it’s the only goal and I’d like to be loved for qualities intrinsic to me as well. Anything less is pointless satiation of baser instincts.

thedeadpill · 2020-11-27T03:55:24+00:00

--actually enjoying each other's company.

Oh, for that, you could just have friends.

Workaholiconew · 2020-11-29T02:15:26+00:00

The red pill, is not interested in relationships, it is interested in sex. You can get sex from relationships, but it is not the only way nor the preferred one by the group.

Do you think this is not actually a worthy goal?

Do you think it is somehow impossible to enjoy a woman's company in this way?

Do you think that this is a good idea and is possible, but is so unlikely that you are not seeking it?

Sincerely? No, no, yes.

To be more precise, I consider it a fool's errant, an waste of resources. Yeah I would like someone worth having company with, but it would require so much effort for so little reward, and chance of success that I consider it similarly to winning the lottery. Unlikely to happen, and yet many bet on it.

I prefer to stick to what is enough. That is to say, sex. I need sex, it is a basic need, (there is a reason why we call lack of sex as sexual STARVATION and THIRST) but I do not need a partner. I do not need a romantic partner, it is a minor priority.

Many women seen completely unaware that they (together with most of their gender) are a chore to deal with for most men. Not introvert or antisocial men, but literally most men. I know it is quite the harsh truth, but the fact is, most men tolerate women, but not like their company, we may like sex with them, their work ethics, their distraction capabilities... Or may be even just afraid of social or sexual consequences... but most women are like children, not someone you would enjoy the company of. Even if they are family.

I mean, most women for most of their lives, have never felt the need to actually be enjoyable, and simply put, it must be very difficult to differentiate sexual interest and actual interest. But the thing is, most women in the market would be completely isolated if they were born with an XY instead of XX.

Question for Men: What about having a partner whose company you enjoy?

Comments

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Title	Question for Men: What about having a partner whose company you enjoy?
Author	listenyall
Upvotes	120
Comments	509
Date	November 23, 2020 4:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jzl2dd/question_for_men_what_about_having_a_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/question-for-men-what-about-having-a-partner-whose.331848 https://theredarchive.com/post/331848