What I love about being a man in the dating world

Speaker7 · 2021-09-07T16:48:38+00:00

Attraction thresholds are requirements though. Men must meet several thresholds to some degree as determined by that particular woman's needs/desires. All women just need to meet one requirement (physical attraction) to be sexually desirable. It's not a positive for men to need to fit more checkboxes, it makes it harder, not easier.

Lifecantrulysuck · 2021-09-07T23:57:37+00:00

"Which makes it easier and more possible to climb the attractiveness ladder."

Tell that to all the men with no matches despite self improvement.

JumboJetz · 2021-09-07T16:13:17+00:00

What’s one good thing about being a man dating? Much less of a biological clock.

daddysgotanew · 2021-09-07T18:05:39+00:00

Looks are the number one priority for both men and women. The difference is men don’t care if a woman is ugly. She can have a degree, a career, be a millionaire, help starving kids in Africa but no man will ever care if she’s ugly. If you’re an ugly man (which in the modern era means a 7 or below facially) you can bang hot chicks, but you will have to pay for it. Provide money, status, goods etc and she’ll exchange that for access to her pussy. She’ll never have actual lust for you like she did the hot broke ex con she dated, but she will give you access. That’s the only difference.

But acting like women don’t prioritize looks first and foremost is just being disingenuous

ohheyhi99 · 2021-09-07T16:27:07+00:00

“A woman’s attractiveness is primarily tied to her looks and a few other very diminutive factors.”

Looks are still the primary factor in male attractiveness in developed countries. Men do have the advantage of being able to compensate with other stuff more than women can, but looks usually matter more than those other things for male attractiveness if you want a woman who’s very attracted to you.

“a man’s attractiveness is determined by a plurality of factors such as, looks, status, style, desirability, confidence and more.”

All of these things positively affect women’s attractiveness, just not as much as they can for men.

Paliant · 2021-09-07T17:46:11+00:00

Men have more overall autonomy in changing their SMV. However because for men it is more about being an “all-around” attractive guy (having looks, money, and status) it is usually a greater time investment for them. So women have less avenues for increasing their SMV, but said avenues are usually easier and less time intensive besides extremes like plastic surgery.

Anantha1996 · 2021-09-07T16:44:12+00:00

All of the factors you mentioned only help in competition with other men. Average women will still have far more options than the average man. Hence, the positive you cite is rather miniscule.

betabucks666 · 2021-09-07T16:57:12+00:00

On the other hand, a man’s attractiveness is determined by a plurality of factors such as, looks, status, style, desirability, confidence and more. Which makes it easier and more possible to climb the attractiveness ladder.

There simply is a lot more shit a guy needs to do to become attractive in the first place. With that come possibilities.

But easier? Fuck no. There simply are more options for men

That being said, as a guy i wouldn't trade places with a women still.

calisthenics-guy-96 · 2021-09-07T21:06:47+00:00

It's becoming less about looks, money, status and more about looks, looks, looks

Brilliant-Hornet1916 · 2021-09-07T22:14:46+00:00

There's some seriously flawed logic in that post.

I call it dilution theory. The idea that because women take into account job, status, confidence, ambition etc. when judging a man's desirability then it means looks are a small % of what makes a man attractive. Makes sense right? Not really.

To attract a woman you first have to meet her minimum looks threshold, otherwise you will not be considered a dating prospect. Hypothetically, if only 30% of men meet a given woman's minimum looks standard and a guy is below that standard - what use is his personality, what use is his career status? It's no use, she finds him ugly, she's not going to sleep with him.

On the flip side, if men looking for a woman don't care much about status, confidence, job etc. then it must mean they care about looks a lot more than women do right? Not really, what you need to look at is what % of women meet a man's minimum looks threshold. Men are less discriminatory when it comes to looks even if they take into account less factors when choosing a wife.

If a man's potential dating pool is 80% of women who meet his minimum looks threshold, and a woman's potential dating pool is 20% of men who meet her minimum looks threshold - to me the woman cares more about looks than the man does. It doesn't matter if the woman then whittles down that 20% of men by judging them on their confidence, status etc. because the spirit of the question "who cares more about looks?" has to be based on who is more discriminatory based on looks.

SKY_ACTIV3 · 2021-09-07T19:49:32+00:00

I do think being a truly unattractive woman is way underestimated here. There really are women out there that struggle despite how much they make up for it in other areas, which goes against what a lot of guys here think.

But I have to reiterate one of the places I fully agree with redpill (blackpill?), if a man doesn’t clear the attractiveness bar for a woman, he can make up for it with money and status, but the relationship will never be the same as if he did. It sounds obvious, but there’s a reason why men are hung up about “beta-buxxing”.

I do agree that men have a lot of mobility in the 7-10 attractiveness range. An 7/10 man can absolutely turn himself into a 9 with enough effort, provided he has the right traits. If he can find a niche, a 7 can almost instantly become a 10 to the right woman.

But men at the lower end of the spectrum in looks are really gonna struggle in unique ways. I know it’s such a common theme on ppd, but short guys are really climbing mountains when it comes to dating. If they don’t clear the minimum height bar for a woman, then no amount of lifting, grooming, or style is gonna change the answer. For a 5’8”/5’9” guy, this isn’t the end of the world, but the shorter a guy gets below that, the more often he’s gonna find himself in that situation.

I just don’t feel like “lucky” is the right word to describe that.

wtknight · 2021-09-07T16:40:00+00:00

Even average to slightly below average women get a lot of attention easily, though. For men it is much more difficult to even begin to get this attention. Of course, less attractive women often only get it because men want sex from them. But the difficulty and rarity for an average to below average man to get attention from any woman is definitely a minus.

Most average guys eventually meet somebody, but how many better looking guys has she tried to date and sleep with before that time?

TodTheRod01 · 2021-09-08T00:59:07+00:00

attraction is becoming a bigger/more important requirement for women, and some things which women are vehement about you cannot change, i.e height

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-09-07T19:59:02+00:00

On the other hand, a man’s attractiveness is determined by a plurality of factors such as, looks, status, style, desirability, confidence and more

Its a double edged sword. Its far better to be an ugly man than an ugly woman, but easier to be an average woman over an average man.

I think men get hung up on the fact that women can get laid easier, well so what? Thats not success for a woman.

blueribbonskies · 2021-09-07T16:32:29+00:00

At least you are honest about that advantage rather than pretend like women have the most rigorous "beauty" expectations for men, when it's very clearly women who get the shit end of the stick for that.

The divide between attractive men , average men, and unattractive men is much more forgiving. I really don't get the outrage a lot of men have towards women who have more specific standards or honestly more like preferences, when men have their idea of a perfect woman down to like the shape of her nipple. Men aren't too swayed by anything other than physical appearance compared to women whose attraction to someone is much more varied.

here's what I love about being a woman in the dating world, my life/worth not revolving around how much sex I have. I don't know where this pressure is or fixation is coming from for men but it seems so miserable to me. It does not bother me when I do not have sex and I never equate it with value in my mind, although I guess the tradeoff of having "too much" sex as women gets you branded badly in men's mind.

flakybottom · 2021-09-07T16:38:58+00:00

I don't see how having more hoops to jump through makes it easier.

Kaisha001 · 2021-09-07T17:24:20+00:00

I agree, and this is where I disagree with black pills (to an extent).

There are many factors you alter as a man. Working out, money, and status/fame being HUGE factors that are not directly tied to genetics. It may not be easy, but the ceiling is higher for those who have the motivation to climb.

And the other factors (ie. height, facial structure, etc...) are less affected by time than female traits.

CFinCanada · 2021-09-07T16:37:22+00:00

If you're a woman it's harder to orgasm, harder to find a doctor willing to sterilize you, if you do actually get pleasure out of sex you are shamed for it, if someone you enjoyed having sex with breaks up with you, you are shamed for it and thought of as trash to be used and discarded forever as a result by a sizeable portion of men. If you get older you are thought of as trash to be used and discarded forever as a result by a sizeable portion of men. If you fall in love and have children and it doesn't work out you are thought of as trash to be discarded forever as a result by a sizeable portion of men. Everywhere you turn there's a gotcha because there is no winning with men.

In the long run, there are no advantages at all to being a woman who dates unless maybe you're a lesbian.

God bless you I literally have no patience for the men who whine.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-09-07T17:14:51+00:00

As a man, I dictate my timeline.

DerekMorganBAU · 2021-09-07T22:12:18+00:00

Never felt disadvantaged in any way tbh I get to pursue like a hunter and if I don’t get it it’s on to the next one

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-09-08T06:39:25+00:00

What i love about dating as a man is that sexual liberation has occurred. Women are no longer required by society to be falsely chaste

But yes, i agree. Men can work on non looks qualities

NotTheBestMoment · 2021-09-08T18:24:27+00:00

You’re absolutely wild mate. Being in shape is achievable by (almost) all men and women. For a lot of men, that’s all that is required by a woman. Average face + fit is usually attractive in a mans eye. It takes more than that on the flip side for most women

YungBoi12 · 2021-09-07T16:29:16+00:00

Exactly. Women have one bar to meet. Men have multiple bars. It's not like these bars are lesser for men either; women simply find many men not attractive.

merlinscalculator · 2021-09-08T00:34:15+00:00

I agree. Which is why men complaining about how undesirable they are is a joke. You literally have 20 different things to pick from to improve your desirability to the opposite sex and you can’t even do that. How pathetic

SaBahRub · 2021-09-07T16:25:40+00:00

This is awesome, I love it

PickleLine · 2021-09-07T18:28:47+00:00

a man’s attractiveness is determined by a plurality of factors such as, looks, status, style, desirability, confidence and more

A woman’s looks are the truth

The problem is that it is very difficult for men to change the factors. Most men are unable to improve themselves past their looks rating. And men's looks ratings are very deflated.

But most women can easily achieve 6-7/10 looks with little effort.

A 40th percentile looks man who works very hard to improve himself will almost never reach the desirability and options of a 40th percentile woman.

Cool_Weather_7763 · 2021-09-07T20:20:14+00:00

What you said backfired. Yes it’s not just looks but that means we have even more standards to fulfill. You can’t just be good looking you need a job and a personality. It’s more work not less. Men ONLY win in the late game but we aren’t what we use to be by then so what’s the point? Women get the better deal I would much rather have an abundance of options and settle down during decline. That’s power. Men have to obtain that and only the Lucky few are naturally gifted.

Historical-Agency334 · 2021-09-08T03:14:54+00:00

it's literally all about looks, almost none of those qualities matter for either gender

NameGiver0 · 2021-09-08T00:09:19+00:00

lol nah

Women still want the physically hot men most, first, and foremost. All of this shit is a very distant second.

StereoFood · 2021-09-07T18:39:37+00:00

Lol what a bunch of bull. Girls are more than just physical looks. Either genders status and attraction are raised by outside factors. In fact, I would say it’s harder for men to be attractive UNLESS they do all those extra things where as for women, they JUST need to look decent to get our attention. Guys have the short end of the stick. That’s the truth. Stop spreading misinformation

_ToiletPaperHands_ · 2021-09-07T21:39:22+00:00

Sorry op but I think this is wishful thinking.

goatismycopilot · 2021-09-07T18:08:15+00:00

This is boring. I don't know why people pop in here acting as if they are imparting some new revolutionary hot take shower thought. A good chunk of the commentary from men on PPD sounds like strip mall MLM stuff. Try and at least put an original spin on the cliché.

girlindolor · 2021-09-07T18:05:50+00:00

High iq, finally someone who recognizes this

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goneaway2thewind · 2021-09-07T16:17:15+00:00

I like being a guy too. Although if I were a woman I would immediately break down Ruby Rose's door.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-07T18:01:53+00:00

Women do by far have it easier in the dating Market but we certainly have our advantages as well no question

rivetcitymayor · 2021-09-08T02:06:51+00:00

An average looking woman is only 5k$ away from getting her butt done and become hot so what you saying doesn’t apply in 2021

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-09-08T02:12:59+00:00

Being a man in the dating world is wonderful provided you realize that women should never be a priority for you. Women are great for social setting and blowing off steam, they are not to obsess over.

2021-09-08T03:08:45+00:00

I think that's an exaggeration. I look around, there's ugly people in relationships, poor people married with kids, old people dating after a couple divorces, fat, short, awkward, bald, autistic people in relationships... Really the way y'all write on this sub you'd almost think if you're anything less than a 6/10 you're SOL. It's not the case though. there's a reason y'all were born with whatever genetics or misfortune you're insecure about, because those people still have sex and raise families.

botfiddler · 2021-09-08T03:17:00+00:00

It's a illusion. One needs the skills to do these other things, at least some amount of self discipline. Chads have easy access to women, also take the less good looking ones if they're less difficult or more willing to be more naughty. Everyone below has to compete for the rest. I'm sure, that only a small number of young woman has no occasional intercourse and they don't need to do a lot for it, while the percentage of men is much higher and they're trying harder.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-09-08T04:36:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Glum_Status94 · 2021-09-08T05:35:55+00:00

i know i will get shit on but dating for woman is hard when i was younger i don’t getting any attention from men because i was a town boy but i got 18 and download it tinder for attention i like how men make me feel happy but i have some many low value men wants to date me and men who are hot are toxic so i get block from tinder i’m happy now i don’t have or want to choose to date or fuck men right now i hate woman privilege i want take no dating options

techr0nin · 2021-09-08T08:07:49+00:00

For men, physical attractiveness is a force amplifier rather than the value in and of itself when dating. That said if you are attractive enough you can generally go all the way just doing the bare minimum.

over348 · 2021-09-08T16:11:52+00:00

Bro im tired of this. Woman are literally just as visual as men i don't understand why people keep saying this.

Big_Illustrious_Vag · 2021-09-11T16:17:08+00:00

All I can say is that I’m a plain Jane with some decent features and also some solidly bad ones. I cleaned up in “the dating game” though because I’m funny and charismatic. Dates with me were fun as hell and men regularly fell in love and sought commitment over hookups. I was always dating men hotter than me who committed. I’m now married to a man hotter than me who obviously committed. I make him laugh and smile every day of his life.

I’ll take my personality and skills over better looks any day.

thepensiveporcupine · 2021-09-08T02:52:02+00:00

And you don’t see a problem with that and how you view women?

Title	What I love about being a man in the dating world
Author	King8Kaista
Upvotes	46
Comments	389
Date	September 7, 2021 4:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pjq51l/what_i_love_about_being_a_man_in_the_dating_world/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-i-love-about-being-a-man-in-the-dating-world.1067528 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067528

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