If men are the problem in western dating then why aren't women leaving the country to find other men?

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-03-01T17:52:12+00:00

Honestly, how many men do you think are really uprooting, their entire lives to move abroad for a wife, or have enough money to buy one and bring her to the states? Like 10-15% of men are actually doing this instead of settling with an American women or being alone.

luv_ya · 2022-03-01T18:18:31+00:00

because anywhere non-western has the stigma of being ''even more patriarchal'' , there you go.

not saying i agree as i don't know about every country in the world

-CuriousPanda- · 2022-03-01T18:15:43+00:00

Because women are okay being alone. Men are horny constantly (or so is claimed here). Honestly if I wasn’t with my partner I probably would search for a partner all that much

2022-03-01T19:37:47+00:00

Leaving the country is a pretty big ask for any reason.

_Oh_Be_Nice_ · 2022-03-02T06:21:53+00:00

Judging by the replies, women's argument seems to be, "men are trash globally and we don't need them."

I don't agree with that, but it's pretty clear "men bad everywhere" is the party line.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-03-01T18:08:13+00:00

Who said men in western dating are a problem? Most men in every country are people I wouldn't date, but id say the chances are better in western countries than non western countries, and I did find a man I like in the US so I dont care how bad the rest of them are

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-03-01T18:03:11+00:00

I laughed at "several".

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-01T18:03:30+00:00

To find what, more men? Why would other men be better? Nobody's saying the problem is specifically western men.

jsmooth3363 · 2022-03-01T23:21:39+00:00

Because generally women don't pursue men. Most women expect a man in their vicinity to pickup her "choosing signals" to demonstrate her interest. Her role is is passive.

Very few women would be such active pursuers and assertive to initiate leaving her home country and actively build a relationship with a man overseas. Also, she would have the bill to boot...

Pilling_it · 2022-03-01T17:54:40+00:00

Because they'd rather be alone?

mackenzie013_02 · 2022-03-01T18:59:20+00:00

I chose a non North American bf lol

baresquad · 2022-03-01T18:01:44+00:00

Relationships and marriage aren’t the grand life prize to a LOT of people like they are to y’all

Also, who’s to say the men abroad are better? They probably suck just as much so would it really be worth the risk to them?

They just don’t care to drastically dedicate revolve their entire lives and personality around a boyfriend and sure there’s tons of bad options here but there’s also tons of good options to choose from and if it doesn’t work it’s not serious enough to move abroad for the sake of dating

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-03-01T21:16:19+00:00

Although there's a ton of complaints from western women about misogyny and patriarchy, there is literally no place on earth where women are treated better, protected and privileged than western society.

daddysgotanew · 2022-03-01T22:34:18+00:00

Women do just fine sharing top tier men. Chads are sharing dozens of girls with other Chads

learn2earn89 · 2022-03-01T23:12:18+00:00

I ain’t leaving my family/home for some dude.

random_ner · 2022-03-02T07:03:24+00:00

Why are you assuming women are so desperate/eager to find a man they would consider leaving their entire lives behind to move to a different country?

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-03-01T19:29:19+00:00

Uhmm , I know of nobody that's uprooted their life to go find a partner . They all are married .

w8juicelesspopsicle · 2022-03-01T22:25:19+00:00

Bc it would be a big lift for women to leave the country they were born, living, and built lives in to take a gamble somewhere else…?

LalaTheSecond · 2022-03-01T18:11:13+00:00

Some foreign men are great just like some local men are great. The problem is the majority of both aren't so there isn't really that much incentive. More of a happy accident that happens if they are here for other reasons or you are on vacation.

DonQOnIce · 2022-03-01T17:55:50+00:00

Why would women who enjoy more gender-based protections in the West give those up?

Bandit174 · 2022-03-01T18:57:05+00:00

Women have dating on tutorial mode, why would they want to leave.

sarkington · 2022-03-01T18:05:54+00:00

Men in other countries are worse

SqueaksScreech · 2022-03-01T23:10:51+00:00

If you're saying white men aren't marrying white women anymore then just say that.

These men will go to impoverish communities in latin America, asia and Africa to find someone who can't leave them as easily.

They won't go to more higher income communities in these regions because they know they're not getting picked and most white women ain't gonna put up with shit unless they're from the bible belt.

figuringMylife · 2022-03-01T18:03:02+00:00

who said mgtow was a problem? they got banned for a reason that had nothing to do with simply opting out of dating or society from my understanding.

women are happy alone if they can’t find mates. men are the ones who’s lives technically improve if they can get and stay married

tempaccc2022 · 2022-03-01T17:52:06+00:00

why move from a free and equal society to a male dominated one, no shortage of men in the west. but for mgtow/rp men they benefit from moving to a 3rd world because they have more power now and can find someone who fits their exact values since theres less trad women in the west.

bunbunny89 · 2022-03-01T19:06:17+00:00

Umm pretty sure shows like 90 day fiance and all of their spinoffs show both womxn and mxn looking in other countries? More common for mxn to it seems, but it is both.

Also, despite how shitty not having universal healthcare is, some countries dont offer the same freedoms womxn have in America have.

shidfardcummer · 2022-03-02T00:06:51+00:00

When a lot of men leave the western dating world, it's very often through mail order brides or going to poorer countries, like the Philippines or countries in Southeast Asia for some examples, to take advantage of the circumstances of women living in comparative poverty. Obviously this isn't all Western men who date outside of the West, but this is common with Western men who date outside of the West.

This is not to mention that much of the non-Western world is much more patriarchal than the West, so for a man who wants a woman he can have more control over, something that Western women increasingly do not tolerate, he is more likely to find that woman outside of the West.

By contrast, women tend to partner up with higher income men, not lower income men, so dating outside the West might make less sense for women, because Western men are generally wealthier than non-Western men. Again, this is not to mention that non-Western cultures are often more patriarchal than the West, which is something that more and more women are seeking to avoid.

Obviously these are sweeping generalizations, but only because it is impossible to talk about these things on a case-by-case basis. I understand that these generalizations do not apply to a lot of people.

chingness · 2022-03-01T19:47:07+00:00

Women don’t need male relationships as much as the men on here wish they did

LateralThinker13 · 2022-03-02T01:54:18+00:00

If men are the problem in western dating then why aren't women leaving the country to find other men?

Because then, when they failed to find a good man, they'd have to admit that THEY and their standards and their behavior are the problem, not the men.

This way, they can bitch about men all they want without actually having to take any effort to fix the problem. Remember: the female rationalization hamster always wins.

Visible-Doughnut-782 · 2022-03-01T20:03:43+00:00

Because unlike most men; the vast majority of Western Woman have zero difficulty in getting laid by men in their own country.

The idea that Western men are uprooting their lives in pursuit of more virtuous foreign Woman so they can have meaningful long term monogamous relationships that Western woman won’t provide is absurd. Sure this might happen on occasion but let’s face it the motivating drive is sex not relationships. Western woman don’t have the same motivation as they have sex on tap already at home.

If what you are getting at is why aren’t single Woman going abroad to find the type of committed long term relationships they supposedly crave the answer is there is already such an overabundance of men in their own country willing and able to provide it that their actual problem is decision paralysis. They have so many options that it feels like they have none-or rather none of the options are good enough. A foreign accent is not going to change that if the guy doesn’t meet all the other requirements.

MarBitt · 2022-03-01T19:00:48+00:00

According to the answers, men in the West are as good or better than men anywhere else in the world. They're also probably as good or better than men in history (elsewhere in the world, men are more traditional).

Thus, the problem is not that the quality of men in the West or modern men deteriorates. Women's demands on men have increased or changed and women's motivation to be in a relationship with men has decreased.

Modern men in the West are great, the best they have ever been. Blaming them for more women still opting for voluntary celibacy and single life is hypocritical nonsense.

LotBuilder · 2022-03-01T19:19:10+00:00

If men are the problem… why are divorce and domestic violence rates highest among lesbian couples. Highest amongst any group.

mandathor · 2022-03-02T00:47:52+00:00

because the grass is defo not greener on the other side, but they will not admit. and probably many of the valuable men in other countries already have found wifes and have okey paying jobs where they live... these men don want a 32 year old western woman, whom they have no idea if they can trust (lenient views on divorce, very liberated and will act more freely), and whom is very quickly getting too old to have kids...

I mean in what safe country are women going to find long term partners?

pokemin49 · 2022-03-02T02:46:44+00:00

It's because western women are close-minded. They've been fed media all their lives that constructs Chad as the ultimate goal, and they don't have the imagination to abstract themselves enough to refashion their sexual ideal in a non-western context. In summary, they are trapped by their own hypergamy.

Booexgirlfriend · 2022-03-01T18:43:41+00:00

Timing is crucial.

As far as I know, men make that decision much later.

Men who decide to travel abroad with the possibility of finding a wife do so because they are not convinced by women, in this case, women from the West. Sexual revolution, hypergamy are the words that are repeated.

Although not all men who make this decision do so for the same reason, the price is the same.

To commit to a Western woman is to be willing to pay a very high price, they will say.

One of them is the divorce.

Western women don't have that problem.

Men want to feel loved for who they are and not for what they have. Women can now work and often have higher education. But even with all this, men want to be loved for who they are and for what they have to offer, ok. Maybe, maybe some of these men feel more valued with an eastern woman than with an american woman.

Loyalty, peace, fidelity, femininity and the ability to form a happy family is what some men are still looking for today. Some of them decide to look for it outside their native country.

If I were a man, I would do the same.

But I'm a woman and this is how I see it.

I don't want a man with a high n' count in my bed. I also want to be loved for who I am and not for being a pretty woman, young body and for knowing how to cook or clean the house. Finding a man who sees in me something more than a vase is difficult here and in any other country.

I don't rule out looking outside though. But time is limited. I won't settle, WGTOW (jokes aside) is yet another possibility.

tldr: Men continue to offer the same and women do not.

Semisonic · 2022-03-01T19:22:52+00:00

Western men are wanted elsewhere. Western women? Not so much.

I’m not saying they can’t catch some dick. They can. But that’s not a very high bar. What you don’t see are a lot of foreign men dying to husband up generally fat, entitled, (often poor or in debt) Western women from the US or UK with shitty attitudes. Novelty only carries you so far.

Just look at the rest of the comments in this thread. Western women know Western men are about as good as it’s going to get. Does that make them happy, grateful, or pleasant to be around? Nope!

Meanwhile, things get much better for Western men when they go abroad. I’m talking Mexico, Colombia, Peru, Bulgaria, Croatia, Thailand, Vietnam, etc. More than a few men I know from my nomad days have effectively sworn off Western women for good.

woke----- · 2022-03-01T18:26:47+00:00

Men suck everywhere lol

Sad_Top1743 · 2022-03-01T19:11:16+00:00

What’s crazy is that you don’t even need to leave western society. Guys can just just go to other modern countries with less entitlement and better gender ratio’s.

Every time my friends and I travel for work or vacation we notice this

SugandeseSpeaker420 · 2022-03-01T23:57:30+00:00

My hot take on this. Most women in the west that complain about dating are living privileged lives. More women nowadays are getting college education than men, many companies have hiring quotas, there is no real wage gap for people working at the same position. There is no stigma about them being high in the social hierarchy. Women's safety is taken care off. Sexual offenses are properly prosecuted by the law. And they are still going on about western men and society being misogynistic.

Women dislike men that are as educated as they are. They want them to be more educated. They want men to earn more than them, even when there is no wage gap. Thus there are fewer men that fulfill those socioeconomic criteria.

Now imagine if your average woman left the western society. Lets ignore the language barrier and the difficulties of finding a job. She would most likely go to a poorer society that is not feminist at all, with people being less educated. Depending on the country they might even fear for their own safety (not speaking of worrying about their safety when returning home from the nightclub drunk af). Why would they move there? They wont find better than the current western society man. Women value different things than men.

ImaginaryShine4938 · 2022-03-01T20:54:25+00:00

You know the evidence. You see it every day every year. Do you deny it, or are you pathetically uninformed. Every heard of Google? Do the research on your own, as I did.

goatismycopilot · 2022-03-01T21:58:21+00:00

Because very few women want a bf so badly that they want to import all the ugly/hot Ukranian guys or the hot/ dumb Australian guys. Not worth the effort.

Aiizimor · 2022-03-01T22:21:47+00:00

Leaving a country is a pretty serious decision. Not a thing you do for an inconvenience

ImaginaryShine4938 · 2022-03-01T22:32:02+00:00

Hit the nail on the head Undeadrhodesian! Bravo! Give that one a cigar

icanchi · 2022-03-01T23:58:22+00:00

Pay me the ticket, then.

IcarusKiki · 2022-03-02T05:16:00+00:00

That does happen occasionally - look at the overweight middle aged women who “fall in love with” third worlders on 90 Day Fiance

ShoCkEpic · 2022-03-02T06:10:11+00:00

lol nah, tte real problem is the men giving them problems are not hot and bad boys and full of tats enough

if every men that was a problem was very handsome, believe me they wouldn’t complain haha

Whynotbebetter · 2022-03-02T09:14:39+00:00

They're not.

Sunshine12e · 2022-03-02T09:23:35+00:00

I meant there are some women who do that. However, the men are often after just money and/or citizenship. .

YveisGrey · 2022-03-02T15:31:53+00:00

Because men desire women more than vice versa. Women are a lot more okay being single in fact if it weren’t for men there would be a lot less sex and romantic relationships happening

RealNiceLady · 2022-03-03T17:12:42+00:00

Women don't go to other countries because they are not pursuers

Exciting_Phase_1665 · 2022-03-01T18:54:08+00:00

the problem isn’t even western men in particular, it’s misogyny. men everywhere have been socialized to be misogynistic—and western men are by far the best today. we are considered second class citizens in other countries. so we’d rather just be single 🤷‍♀️

HoMcShmoe · 2022-03-01T20:18:24+00:00

Because men in other countries prefer there native women over a western bridesmaid.

All non western countries are more patriarchal and cherish traditional values, girls that also know when to obey and put their focus on family and household, not girls who are into feminism and making a living on their own.

Most Muslim immigrants that that I have met in Germany say the same thing: "Women here are crazy"

_-One4All-_ · 2022-03-01T20:19:31+00:00

Who the hell is going to put up with Western feminists? Other countries would just deport them 😂😂😂😂

pm_me_hairy_nudes · 2022-03-01T20:46:54+00:00

There are enough whiny, selfish and sexist women-hating men in the West, why would a Western woman try to date where it's almost all whiny sexist women-hating men?

Ducks_Are_Watching · 2022-03-01T18:19:16+00:00

Women in the West don't generally want to date people in a cultural framework where women are (or are supposed/expected to be, regardless of reality) more submissive, with fewer rights or freedoms. What woman born and raised in Brittany (for example) will want to marry a guy from Pakistan who might want her to cover up or stay at home or not get a say in how the family/household is run? What woman from Germany would want to marry a traditional guy from Brazil who would be pretty ruthless about her maintaining a 25-year-old body? Western women would prefer to be single over that.

That said, guys may be in for a rude awakening abroad...reading a book now on women in Korea/Japan/China who are turning to running online shops or other work in order to not have to settle and marry guys they don't want (and how this has affected the labor market generally).

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-03-01T20:31:53+00:00

Idk if what I read in Reddit threads are an accurate representation of how younger men approach dating. I'm actually hoping it is a microcosm, because it's actually frightening. I look in on dating advice, marriage advice and one called seduction. There are some interesting and entertaining stories that people share, and I have a hobby of sorts observing the psychology of people. I realize the bulk of many of the posts in seduction are made by very young inexperienced male's. I wasn't aware that some of them pay money to attend instructional courses on talking to and successfully seducing women. 🤔🧐 I'm much older have been married and divorced more than once, dated and married to women more than 15 years younger than myself and never fathomed that speed and convenience would get to this level. The was a kid in there that was going overseas to date a woman that he had found through a service. I characterized it as similar to a mail order bride. He was very offended and said, no this is a real date. I asked him if he didn't think mail order brides went in dates. He didn't answer. It amazes me how people are unable or unwilling to communicate.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-03-01T21:25:36+00:00

Because even if a lot of western men are misogynistic, even more eastern men are, generally speaking. There is no benefit to women trying to date men from even more patriarchal cultures. There may be some benefit to dating men from Northern European countries, however. Even the UK friends I’ve had seem to have considerably more progressive views toward women as compared to people in the US. So if you’re a woman in the US, perhaps some European countries could offer better options, but it’s hard to say.

Dapper_Art_8269 · 2022-03-01T22:26:24+00:00

And go where? To muslim countries? Asian countries? Where men are misigynists on steroids? Where in China women were called useless tree branches not that long time ago if they didn't give birth to a son?

It's like jumping into an ocean to escape getting wet from rain.

ImaginaryShine4938 · 2022-03-01T18:35:56+00:00

Because you mf keep us down and broke at every freaking turn. Economically, physically and spiritually. Any further questions.

afkawayrn · 2022-03-01T18:05:39+00:00

Why would you leave the place where it’s paradise for women?

wtknight · 2022-03-01T18:52:55+00:00

Men are more traditional in a lot of other countries, so they’re even worse than western men. Some American women would probably go for Western European guys if they had a chance compared to American guys, but European women are probably already locking down the high value guys in Europe.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-03-01T21:25:41+00:00

because women don't want to be responsible for anything. Gatekeepers of sex but not responsible for the sexual marketplace. Raise men without fathers not responsible for toxic men. Etc etc.

DaphneDK42 · 2022-03-02T04:18:25+00:00

US women don't have that great of a reputation. lol. Not sure they they'll have an easy time. It even has a name in Asia: Bitter White Woman in Asia Syndrome - or something like that.

New-Context831 · 2022-03-01T19:53:24+00:00

Only the west accepts feminism, looks like it'll probably be the end of us too, so many mama boys who are seeking help being men online

All because their fathers already got kicked the curb along time ago and we watched it happened, and worse soft men go further in the west long term than the average athletic man does, breeding more pussies

Girls go for chad sure but the dorks are having more babies than Chads are today, and worse chads kids are more likely to be poor

Just imagine 2030 😐

Meneltarmar · 2022-03-01T19:38:03+00:00

They are busy pushing laws to literally import men.

random_ner · 2022-03-01T22:43:54+00:00

I think a better question would be if men are so annoyed with western women having standards them why don't they leave the country to find other women?

sunifunih · 2022-03-01T23:17:21+00:00

As a western woman, with house, job, car and good income I can’t support all my Nigerian husbands and my husband from Laos.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-03-01T22:07:52+00:00

Women find it easier to be alone, I think.

SiaSara · 2022-03-01T23:30:21+00:00

It's not like the men leaving the country have a crowd of women to fight off in their home countries. They're leaving because not many/no women in their own countries want them. And in other countries, there are a lot of women that will take the hit for an upgrade in lifestyle.

Iron-Giant1999 · 2022-03-01T20:22:35+00:00

Because if western women acted the way they do around non western men they’d be tossed to the curb, if they were lucky.

moparmaiden · 2022-03-01T20:50:27+00:00

Men are the problem in every country. Y'all gotta learn to be better. More loyal, more honest, monogamous etc. Less violent, less abusive. Even Asian women are opting out of traditional marriage dynamics. Guys, imagine yourself as a woman, would you tolerate the way men treat you? Would that experience be super high on your list of things to do?

ImaginaryShine4938 · 2022-03-01T22:29:27+00:00

Oh darling. I am not a fan of men who are so fking dumb that they don't see the abuse and usage of women all around them. Do you live in a cave? How old are you, 14? Nah, even a well informed 14 year old knows the truth. Do you understand what Google is? I'll say to you the same thing my trans son said to me, Google it. Don't bash me. Why must folks ask such stupid questions? You want answers? You ALREADY know the answers, unless you've been under a rock for 50 years. I'll not do your research for you. More than likely, you are one of those people who gives me such a distaste for men. When you ask a very dumb question about why women have this opinion of men, through your own unintelligent thought, you show your true colors.

ffandyy · 2022-03-01T23:31:25+00:00

Why would someone leave a country just to look for a date? That shit sounds ridiculous to me

Flintblood · 2022-03-02T03:55:11+00:00

They’re not leaving the country; they are importing men from elsewhere or traveling for romance?

womandatory · 2022-03-02T11:39:07+00:00

Why would they go to the trouble? If they don’t want or need local men, they probably don’t want or need other men either. Want to fix the problem? Be a better man. You’ll get picked by a better woman.

ImaginaryShine4938 · 2022-03-02T12:02:41+00:00

Hey guys, repeat after me " women don't owe you shit. "

LizvEross · 2022-03-01T21:48:41+00:00

Because it’s not Western dating that makes it the problem it’s the way all men have been raised to treat women. It gets worse than other countries.

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MattTheBruce · 2022-03-01T20:57:54+00:00

....male order husbands! Get some!

HentaiQueen0w0 · 2022-03-01T22:49:58+00:00

If you’re referring to the American Western world then yeah many want to leave it.

I already got me a European man, but then again I’m German so I’m not sure that counts lol.

2022-03-02T04:02:35+00:00

They are. TLC has several shows based on this exact premise.

Taiyella · 2022-03-02T06:56:24+00:00

They’re all happy out married now and between the ages of 24-27

ImaginaryShine4938 · 2022-03-02T12:01:50+00:00

Again, because we can't afford it.

2022-03-02T12:52:50+00:00

Women don’t leave the country unless there’s a war going on. By and large. I’m not talking about the few women with wanderlust. Most women would rather live with cats than move abroad.

But then again that’s not surprising. Most PEOPLE never move abroad. Most people would rather be killed where they live, than move away. It’s just not an option in their mind.

Lameador · 2022-03-04T06:06:21+00:00

Due to immigration, other men are coming in

2022-03-09T08:35:04+00:00

I know Europe is still western but I’ve definitely considered moving there for the lifestyle and values fit along with the men. I’ve lived there before and just found it way easier to connect with people over there… maybe it’s my communication style or they’re just more obvious about everything but I find Canadian men are the fixing worst sometimes.

I wouldn’t just go for men though. It’d be for the lifestyle. I would never go to a non-western country for a partner thing. I’m very much not into patriarchal societies and cultures so that wouldn’t be a good fit, but I could do without the bullshit of North America.

Also I do think some women are doing this. I travelled recently and met women who were basically trying to meet men from elsewhere lol.

Over_Noise3530 · 2022-03-02T03:09:42+00:00

Coastal cities in the USA have the best men in the world. Most of the top 1 percent of men in terms of income are concentrated in nyc area. Eastern European men are usually hot but tend to be more traditional and don't really eat pussy I heard so I'm not going there. Same with Italian men. Latin countries are way too traditional and cheuvanist. I feel like England and northern Europe is just as bad as here. Video games, tinder and porn have ruined men all over the world.

tropicsGold · 2022-03-01T21:39:17+00:00

Immediate friends and family, here is the breakdown: one did go overseas and met a great guy,the majority are single and looking, but no real prospects, one settled for a guy that I consider a total loser, a couple turned lesbian, one gave up and married a simp with money. A couple are dating good guys, the absolutely most attractive girls can command one of the rare attractive and successful men.

The most successful is my son, who I raised right, he got snatched up immediately by a wonderful girl. A fit guy with a great career is just in massive demand, it is almost comical.

Sorry guys, but I have to side with the women on this one, these are some great girls, and their choices are just pathetic. If the average guys could just get into reasonable shape and work hard for a good career, and not act like total wimps (whining about their depression and anxiety), they would be swamped with great dating options. It is just sad.

Title	If men are the problem in western dating then why aren't women leaving the country to find other men?
Author	random_ner
Upvotes	112
Comments	400
Date	March 1, 2022 5:47 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t4doyz/if_men_are_the_problem_in_western_dating_then_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-men-are-the-problem-in-western-dating-then-why.1104647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104647

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