For men to feel loved, they need to feel that you chose them. A man feels chosen if he’s given something that other men don’t get. The more exclusive an offering is, the more validation a man has that you love him. This is your youth, your fertility or your chastity. Men feel this validation at an emotional level because you’re choosing them through a tangible sacrifice. Like it or not this is how men experience love.

By contrast when you offer yourself as an experienced older woman to an inexperienced older man, you are not making any sacrifices. Your youth was given to another man. Your fertility window is shot. And men don’t get an ego boost from being your first sexual anything. To make things worse, the man is usually making a sacrifice to you. The tradeoff here is so unflattering that most older inexperienced men would rather be single.

It’s for these reasons that there will be an increasing single epidemic amongst older women. Essentially it’s an intersection where men have maximally checked out and women have maximally lost value. A raw deal feels viscerally worse than being alone.

I do not see any way for post-wall women to tangibly prove that they love men they previously looked over. Taking a post-wall woman’s word that they love you on faith is an intellectual agreement and not an emotionally satisfying feeling that makes you believe it’s real.