Getting good sex is immensely beneficial for your mental health and sometimes getting into an exciting relationship CAN solve your mental health struggles

Toxic_LigmaMale · 2025-01-05T07:37:13+00:00

It’s always been kinda odd to me how people say “Fix yourself before finding someone else” when the only thing you’re unhappy with is being lonely.

missmireya · 2025-01-05T15:25:54+00:00

Having good sex will make you forget about your mental health struggles temporarily.

Having an exciting toxic boyfriend is going to increase your mental health problems x1000 when he gets bored, and then finally leaves you. You won't get your daily dopamine hit anymore.

upalse · 2025-01-05T08:44:34+00:00

It's an age old coming of age story.

Girl gets less fat for a guy, not for herself (that came later).

Guy got buff for a girl, not himself (that came later).

Yes it's toxic, but sometimes people can't really pull themselves by the bootstraps, and need a little bit of a push from a crush, and the sex/drama just keeps you hooked for long enough for it to work.

Any-Photo9699 · 2025-01-05T11:03:40+00:00

I mean that's true. It's also true that you will need to go through a lot of effort and rejection that might put you in an even worse situation than before if you make that decision. The squeeze doesn't guarantee the juice.

HighlightDowntown966 · 2025-01-05T07:37:48+00:00

So toxic relationships with a bunch of twist and turns and unpredictability make you feel alive.

To each their own

Laconique · 2025-01-05T11:59:03+00:00

Thanks you for saying this as a woman.

Yeah sure, having sex and love is not the panacea of life and may not be sufficient to be happy and fullfilled, that I know for a fact. But it's definitely necessary for most people as a pre-requesite.

Spirited_Cod260 · 2025-01-05T07:47:06+00:00

Don't know if getting laid can fix diagnosable mental health disorders but it certainly does brighten one's day.

desiringyouall8 · 2025-01-05T08:26:18+00:00

When people say to fix your problems before getting into a relationship, what they mean, to be more exact, is that there is a certain baseline standard degree of mental health anyone needs to obtain before he or she can maintain a mutually beneficial relationship with anyone, and moreover, that, in order to minimize resentment in a relationship, the burdens your problems place on your partner should be as equal as possible as the burdens their problems place on you, so that everyone feels "equally yoked."

desiringyouall8 · 2025-01-05T08:21:25+00:00

The way I would put it is, good sex can help with the symptoms of certain mental health issues, but they cannot cure their roots, and while sex can be very reliable medicine in remedying symptoms, sex can also serve as a way to distract from dealing with the underlying causes, and can even become an addictive way to not deal with these problems at all. Worse of all, if a messy break up occurs, the resulting low can makes things even more difficult.

Sonia314 · 2025-01-05T11:10:56+00:00

This is similar to a growth arc I’ve been on. I didn’t date after I started college because it amplifies my bipolar disorder and is exhausting because of my autism. I could balance it with a blue collar career, but not with being an engineering student. Then a close friend suggested we be friends with benefits. It was just low key enough and with someone I trusted enough that I could barely manage it so I said yes, but once I actually tried it I realized there were all these ways that it improved my mental health that I hadn’t considered enough that would be even more true with dating. Some benefits I’ve found via the FwB and dating again that have improved my performance in school:

Huge confidence boost
Gave me the courage to be vulnerable not just romantically but platonically in a way that is essential for having the rejuvenating social scaffolding that makes an ambitious career sustainable
It’s an incentive that improves my executive function. If I’m not on top of my game in life, I’m not able to be very aroused and I’m not interesting on dates enough to obtain and maintain a relationship.
it gave me a better idea of what was holding me back in dating than when I was trying to figure it out abstractly. For example, I didn’t know I had developed body dysmorphia until I showed my body to people.

All my past relationships have been net negative for my mental health, but my mental health has finally improved enough that dating is positive for my mental health now and my partners aren’t bothered by my remaining mental health problems. I wish I’d noticed that years ago.

DGenerationMC · 2025-01-05T08:12:19+00:00

Getting into a relationship with a guy who was actually exciting helped me get better. It was not even a very healthy relationship, it was toxic, yet I feel it pushed me to get better and improve myself.

She had a boyfriend who was an engineer or something. I can't help but thinking that if she left that boring guy and got with someone passionate she could have become better.

I'd love to be all "we listen and we don't judge" here but what the fuck, OP?

TermAggravating8043 · 2025-01-05T07:37:11+00:00

The problem is, your just going to be putting your own mental health problems into someone else to deal with. Your not solving anything your just passing your own shit about snd it’s more than likely to just come back to you again.

That’s why they say get help first because otherwise your just gonna drag more people down with you

Illustrious-Baker775 · 2025-01-05T16:02:17+00:00

This is great until someone ends up staying in a relationship they dont want to be, or shouldnt be in under the premis that "its better than being single"

Other people are not stepping stones for your mental health, and its pretty fucked up staying in a relationship with someone just because you need someone, not because you care about them.

Staying in a toxic relationship for your mental health is an oxymoron. Toxic relationships, by definition, are a strain on your mental health.

If sexual gratification, or intimate connection are your ONLY forms of mental health support, you are leaving yourself in a vulnerable place, and you shpuld be actively finding new ways to support yourself. idk how thats up for debate.

Equal_Connect · 2025-01-05T10:58:56+00:00

Me personally as much as id love to go down on a woman, i know that wouldnt cure my depression or BPD.

Fancy-Statistician82 · 2025-01-05T15:32:33+00:00

Sometimes it doesn't even need to be an exciting relationship, just comforting. I had one very sweet year with a man who was never going to be my forever, and he knew it, I knew it. We were both licking wounds from prior relationships and just needed someone easy and safe to hang around with and get off with.

I guess these days they would call it a situationship or whatever but that lingo didn't exist, plus we agreed to be monogamous and hung out nearly every weekend. We were explicitly affectionate - we would allow ourselves to say "I adore you" and for me at least it really did mean that I loved him for who he was.

We were gentle and kind with each other, and had plenty of orgasms and home cooked brunch in bed.

It really helped to restore my trust in myself and in other people, after having been badly treated in a previous relationship.

I quite recommend "Mr. Right Now" so long as you treat him well. It was a healing experience. 22ish years ago.

EulenWatcher · 2025-01-05T08:19:08+00:00

You made sense…until you didn’t. Yea, having a partner can improve one’s quality of life and motivate a person to get better. No, changing “a boring partner” to a “passionate one” most likely won’t help with depression and suicidal thoughts unless that boring partner wasn’t abusive as well.

Overall, it depends on what kind of problems we’re talking about. There are enough unhappy people struggling with their mental health although they have a partner or go on dates and have sex in a regular basis. Emotional swings in toxic relationships can cause some mental health issues as well. Turning them into a pill helping everyone makes even less sense than saying that getting into a relationship won’t help your depression.

Loban8990 · 2025-01-05T12:54:55+00:00

Damn a shit load of guys are screwed then.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-01-05T13:01:08+00:00

If you’re depressed because you’re single, then I agree, but a relationship won’t solve mental health issues. You clearly have zero understanding of real mental health issues.

Your opinion of the BDP autistic woman is fucking wild. Because he’s an engineer he’s obviously boring? You think an “exciting” boyfriend would cure bipolar disorder? JFC you sound like a teenager.

Don’t rely on someone else to “fix” you and don’t treat a relationship like it’s a cure all for your problems. The only “problem” it solves is the problem of being single.

DelDivision · 2025-01-06T05:04:34+00:00

Funny thing as a millennial, this use to be acceptable to say until the general public found out about incels then it was "relationships won't solve all your problems" or "i know people who are happy to be alone"

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-01-05T13:58:14+00:00

If your problem is being lonely and missing that deep connection obviously the solution is to find the one. Suppressing the desire and pretending to be "happy single" only makes it worse because the problem grows under the surface.

Upstairs-Instance565 · 2025-01-05T23:59:34+00:00

"Your not entitled to sex"

Is what women would be typing in the comments if OP was a man lol

Fan_Service_3703 · 2025-01-05T08:00:37+00:00

I don't think "good sex" alone is enough to be helpful with mental health (though it is vastly preferable to being entirely single).

From the ages of 16-19, I was involved with dangerous and loathsome people and activities. Many of the women there were promiscuous. However, those women wanted me for nothing except sex. Like me, most of those women came from abusive backgrounds. They didn't want someone like me who would readily make an effort, who wanted to cook for them, take them on genuinely fun dates, and wanted them to enjoy sex as much as I did. They wanted the emotional rollercoaster of the guys whose only effort would be texting "come mine" and who were openly entertaining other women (while becoming aggressive if the girls so much as looked at another male). I was an acceptable fuck to keep them satisfied while they undertook the "I can change him" challenge. Needless to say it did a number on my mental health, and once I ended up in prison at 19 I knew immediately that when I was out I wanted nothing to do with people like that or that lifestyle.

But I do agree that being perpetually single is a cause of mental health problems and anyone who isn't asexual and/or aromantic is ill-equipped to cope with such a life.

neverendingplush93 · 2025-01-05T12:48:48+00:00

Nah this is how people stay in shitty abusive relationships because the sex is immensely good.

Technical_End9162 · 2025-01-05T11:57:58+00:00

I agree with a lot of what you said but

The problem is you expect some guy to be a woman’s court jester so that she doesn’t euthanize yourself

There’s a limit

kiwanyuh · 2025-01-05T18:57:36+00:00

An exciting relationship with a golden retriever is way healthier than an exciting relationship with a dragon. Only one is toxic

TheCounsellingGamer · 2025-01-06T00:30:05+00:00

This entirely depends on what you mean by mental health struggles. I don't think people who are depressed or have an anxiety disorder should avoid relationships. In fact, building new connections is one of the top 5 things I recommend to clients who are struggling with those kinds of mental health issues (I'm a therapist). Isolation can absolutely make things like depression work, and it creates this horrible cycle for people.

However, mental health struggles can mean so much more than just depression and anxiety. I've had clients who have attempted to kill themselves after an argument with a partner because they feel like they're being rejected, and that is so painful for them that they'd rather be dead. I've had clients give all of themselves to someone they just met because they don't know how to form secure attatchments, and then they end up being heartbroken over and over again. I've also had clients who are on the receiving end of both these situations, and it's deeply distressing for them.

Those in the second paragraph shouldn't be actively seeking a relationship. They need to get their mental health stabilised (not cured, just stabilised) before they do that. Doing otherwise puts themselves at risk first and foremost, but also has the potential of causing harm to others.

ETA: As for the woman you mentioned in your post, if you think a new and "exciting" relationship would have cured her BPD, then you are severely misinformed as to what BPD is. The key features of BPD are impulsiveness, intense relationships that flip between idolising their partner and hating them, difficulty with self-image, and an intense fear of abandonment. I don't think I need to explain why those things might be a problem in a new relationship, for both parties.

Naebany · 2025-01-05T14:25:12+00:00

That has always been obvious to me. Being in relationship is beneficial to you and lack of sex can cause serious psychological harm. Feeling shitty all the time etc. That's why I always think it's malicious to make fun of people not having sex and not trying to understand why they are bitter about not having it.

It's hard to understand someone who is hungry when you've never had problems satiating your hunger. Or you don't have much hunger at all. (low libido)

TheMedsPeds · 2025-01-05T19:29:06+00:00

It's very hard for me to understand people are just "perfectly happy single" maybe if I had like 5 good solid close friends and 2-3 of them were also single, a lot of time consuming hobbies I was super into and a large family that I was involved in. On top of that it would be nice to have 2-3 people "on stand by" that I COULD have sex with or go out on a date with if I needed.

But I don't have any of that. So being single, I'd basically be unhappy. I am sure there could be snippets and moments that I'd enjoy, I wouldn't be crying 24/7, but just years and years of never being touched, cuddled, no dates, no nothing. And I am supposed to just be happy like that, and that's the only way I'd find a quality man?

RoseyButterflies · 2025-01-05T11:46:08+00:00

It's like this sub is obsessed with sex. Sex isn't the be all end all 😂

A relationship isn't a cure for mental disorders. Honestly what the f.

A man's cripplingly low self esteem won't be fixed by getting into a relationship. No. Nor will depression or anxiety. It will just perpetuate through the relationship and likely be an issue.

People need actual mental health help, not this magical belief that sex or a relationship will cure their mental illnesses. Honestly Why.

attendquoi · 2025-01-05T14:59:35+00:00

Then you should be willing to get into relationships with women who are equally mentally unhealthy.

StrugglingSoprano · 2025-01-05T16:04:29+00:00

Actual clinical depression isn’t solved by a toxic relationship. I can’t believe I even have to say that. Sex might provide a quick dopamine boost but it won’t fix long term psychological dysfunction.

Timtiim123 · 2025-01-05T15:11:45+00:00

This is why the Dickpill is so important. Non well endowed guys cannot provide good sex.

Here's a Dickpill fact for the non instantiated: Good, exciting sex, women speak for big dick.

avocadolanche3000 · 2025-01-05T18:11:44+00:00

Thank you

My roommate is one of these “you need to work on yourself first” people. She’s a strong independent home owning, 6-figure woman (I actually rent from her). Works out every day or two.

She complains about men and being attracted to them and how dating isn’t worth it. She thinks the average guy cheats and she thinks it’s safest to assume men are all would be sex criminals, if given the opportunity. She talks about how romantic relationships aren’t as important as friends or family, but she has very few actual friends and those relationships all seem shallow to me. Her sex life consists of hitting up one loser ex a few times a year. She’s only gone on a couple dates with new guys since we’ve lived together, and both times she whined about having to go out with them beforehand and was relieved when she got back without having to kiss them or anything.

I’ve realized her views on men come from five bad relationships and a constant stream of misandrist social media content.

These people are just incapable of forming healthy attachments so they pass it off like it’s some noble mental health goal.

It’s not just that a healthy sex life is good for. It exposes you to other people in a way that incentivizes you to understand them, and to base your understanding on actual interactions rather than memes and pills.

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markov_truwitt · 2025-01-05T15:34:45+00:00

I largely agree. The learning process is usually a process of elimination, and only experimentation will get the goods. That means chasing passion to a certain extent, though it is easy to overdo it and find yourself feeling worse than you did before.

arjay8 · 2025-01-05T15:42:31+00:00

It would seem wild to suggest that sex wouldn't, for a time, make people feel better. Sex is a powerful physiological experience precisely because our biology wants us to do it. But the hormonal experience of new passion is different than that of long-term committed relationships. And it would be folly to assume that the powerful chemical cocktail that one experiences with a new partner will last. I think long term relationships that are successful tend to show a chemical makeup in the brain comparable to that of a deep friendship. But I could be misremembering what I've read on that.

But like hunger or thirst it is never permanently satisfied, it will always be there. And moving from partner to partner certainly isn't going to be satisfying or even possible for the vast majority of busy adults who have lives that require time spent not in the dating game pursuing other things like careers or non sexual hobbies.

There is a hedonistic trap one can fall into where repeated wild sexual experiences become so intoxicating one cant imagine not having them. And the more compromises one makes in order to pursue such as activities can be destructive. Moderation is key.

phaneritic_rock · 2025-01-05T19:41:24+00:00

I personally think my mental health struggles are just as bad as when I was single, or maybe even worse (though probably unrelated to the relationship itself).

So, I don’t think it really matters. I don’t believe someone is undeserving of a relationship just because they’re struggling mentally. Healing isn’t something that happens in just a few years—it might even take a lifetime. People can struggle whether they’re in a relationship or not, so they might as well pursue one if that’s what they want.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2025-01-05T20:49:24+00:00

Well, I wouldn't go that way since it would destroy me in the long run but I can see how it can be in the short term. But yeah, I am healthy enought in my mind so a relationship which is not toxic is better

nikolala · 2025-01-06T14:59:54+00:00

Well depends. That is when you enter in healthy relationship. But since young generations are bunch of stupid dumbass people and doesn't know how to live healthy those times are long gone.

analt223 · 2025-01-06T16:43:44+00:00

The "need to find yourself first" "need to love yourself first" etc is just gatekeeping relationships.

I know people who have plenty to improve in themselves and they are in very reasonable relationships. Maybe they have the occasional argument, but what relationships dont. Its just gatekeeping and primarily told to men as a way to not have them notice that women dont really like men that much.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2025-01-06T23:01:52+00:00

It's too expensive and fast paced to be alone these days, you need a partner unless you want to barely get by OR live at home/in a house share.

I was an extremely bitter femcel before I met my gigantic kratos bf, he sooths me.

catdog8020 · 2025-01-08T03:14:46+00:00

I agree except many woman in America are not looking to date or only dating high value men or other woman lol. I think men reallllyy need to advocate and talk to their representatives about legalizing prostitution in the USA since many women are confused and not obtainable.

Essentially many woman are depressed, lonely and mentally ill. They are overworked and don’t have enough motivation to find partners other than situationships lol 😂.
Really dystopian environment for men.

LawfulnessSuper5091 · 2025-01-08T21:45:00+00:00

Agreed. In fact just the touching and intimacy, even if the sex isn't perfect.

newishDomnewersub · 2025-01-09T11:16:31+00:00

In my own experience of finding love after ten years alone, the relationship didn't fix anything as much as it produced a climate where i could start fixing things. The part of me that was starving for affection was being taken care of, and I've been able to work on the issues I need to work on.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-01-05T15:06:39+00:00

As you read this it feels more and more like “if you just give the brat what he wants he’ll be happy!”

Sorry, but being spoiled and throwing a tantrum isn’t gonna work as an adult.

_Swans_Gone · 2025-01-05T16:43:59+00:00

Erm... no it doesn't. You need to be completely happy and secure with yourself. Nobody owes you a relationship.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-01-05T11:57:35+00:00

The thing that needs fixing is what keeps most people from being able to have a relationship/attract a partner for a relationship.

Fixing yourself means: become someone who someone else wants to have hot sex with and be in a relationship. You can't get the latter first and then have it help fixing the former.

Hi-Road · 2025-01-05T16:22:51+00:00

Have y’all tried not being boring yourself

DapperDan1929 · 2025-01-05T17:16:33+00:00

Well yeah lol

DapperDan1929 · 2025-01-05T17:17:13+00:00

Haven’t had sex, let alone hot sex since 2018 lol.

HotOutcome9161 · 2025-01-05T21:25:27+00:00

Yes it can absolutely be beneficial. But is it really beneficial to your potential partner?

It really depends on the individual. Some people have absplutely no business dating because they are destructive to everybody around them.

But others can be a in a healthy relationship without putting others down.

I think we all have our faults so its unfair to say you should only date as the perfect human being. Its a case to case thing wheter you should be dating or focusing on yourself first.

BigMadLad · 2025-01-06T03:49:37+00:00

I’m sorry you don’t understand what an actual mental illness is. Comparing yourself to that woman shows you don’t, and if getting into a relationship solved everything for you you weren’t actually depressed.

Many peoples lives suck in one or many categories, which make them feel depressed or anxious, and think a life improvement magically cured the depression. When in reality they were not depressed, but rightfully upset about their scenario. I wouldn’t call a starving child in Africa depressed, I would call him hungry and most likely if you give them food they will stop being depressed. This is you and your relationship. Connecting you with that woman who went to tens if not hundreds of various therapies and professionals and saying it’s because of her relationship is you projecting your scenario onto her.

True depression is when you have everything yet you’re still sad and want to end your life. It’s literally looking at a sunset and feeling nothing. Is categorized as a mental health issue because it runs counterintuitive to having a good life.

HighestTierMaslow · 2025-01-06T03:55:12+00:00

You are an outlier dear. Most depressed people who get into relationships dont improve, and most certainly not depressed people getting into toxic relationships. Good for you on getting better but your experience is not universal.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2025-01-06T06:43:22+00:00

Getting good sex is immensely beneficial for your mental health and sometimes getting into an exciting relationship CAN solve your mental health struggles

Definitely!

I have tried various SSRIs and perscribed Amfetamin (ADD) and nothing comes close to being AND messing around with an attractive woman in terms of well-being for me.

Gyming, walks in fresh air, and meeting friends are also decent but it doesn't really compare to being intimate with an attractive & kind woman.

Ok-Active8747 · 2025-01-05T17:52:21+00:00

This must be why women live about 6 years longer. The older I get, the harder it is to get a good blowjob.

GridReXX · 2025-01-05T15:48:22+00:00

Lmaoooo

I’m not disagreeing that you needed a jolt in your life to jumpstart you out of your funk.

But I’m not convinced it had to be a hot sex affair. I’ve felt similarly being adopted into a fun and electrifying friend group.

G4M35 · 2025-01-05T11:06:49+00:00

Sex always makes me happy.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-01-05T13:56:25+00:00

It will definitely improve one’s quality of life if you’re with someone and the desire between you two is congruent.

Also, a lot of underfucked women will begin to act way more out of pocket then they usually are. Its a great way for both people to de-stress.

rag3light · 2025-01-09T15:39:33+00:00

Lmfao what a great window into the freakazoid th0t process of modern women

BJ_Blitzvix · 2025-01-05T18:52:43+00:00

Problem: how do I have good sex if my dick can't even stay hard enough to even penetrate?! Both times I tried to fuck someone and my dick wouldn't do the one thing I needed it to. :(

GKilat · 2025-01-05T20:18:25+00:00

You can have platonic friends for emotional support and have immersive fantasy of romantic sex with the perfect partner and situation. You don't have to force yourself and anyone to be in a relationship in order to achieve that. The problem is when people think it is a must then they desperately struggle to try and be in a relationship which will most likely end in failure and end up making their mental health worse.

just_a_place · 2025-01-05T08:00:38+00:00

Getting good sex is immensely beneficial to my dick. Not so much to my mental frame or sanity.

"Mental Health" is some made up bullshit to sell us "wellness" - and no actual cure - that some clown with a title is selling to you in countless online ads. The trick is to convince you that your bad mood needs a "professional" (in reality a huckster) to listen to your rant and then declare you sane until the next stupid shit upsets you.

Grown ass emotional toddles, with disposable income and good insurance, is what these peddlers truly want. People who never figure out how to emote like adults. Anyway...

Sex is indeed great. But calling it beneficial to mental health is just fucking stupid. Otherwise PornHub should be considered a outpatient platform for "mental health." 🤣

Come on boys! Let's all raise our sanity together by choking out the chunky! Women can join in too in scrolling that mouse wheel!

Title	Getting good sex is immensely beneficial for your mental health and sometimes getting into an exciting relationship CAN solve your mental health struggles
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	177
Comments	227
Date	January 5, 2025 7:24 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hu0gqn/getting_good_sex_is_immensely_beneficial_for_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/getting-good-sex-is-immensely-beneficial-for-your.1540392 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540392

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