Male sexuality just seems borderline antisocial to me

wtknight · 2026-02-07T16:59:55+00:00

Post removed and locked due to OP being temporarily banned for slap fighting.

Superannuated_punk · 2026-02-07T11:29:46+00:00

You’re talking about a small element of men’s sexuality that gets talked about the most loudly, because it’s the “acceptable” face of domineering sexuality that we’re allowed to talk about under patriarchy.

Men’s actual sexuality is vastly more complicated and varied in the real world. When we’re allowed to think about it, anyway.

Don’t write it off as uncaring, oafish and cruel. It’s doing a disservice to everyone.

CelicnisGhost · 2026-02-07T11:42:22+00:00

It seems like men’s need for novelty, sexual variety, and attraction to much younger women makes it borderline impossible for them to stay genuinely committed to one woman and still feel satisfied.

Biologically, I'd agree.

But most men are not animals and can control their urges for the sake of a better society at large.

What also really gets me is the claim that “80% of women want the top 20% of men.” Meanwhile, men of all ages openly admit that they’re most attracted to 18-22 women - and betcha they don't mean fat ones! - which is an incredibly tiny slice of the female population.

Saying that women only want the top 20% of men has literally nothing to do with whether the same holds true in reverse.

Crazy_Kray · 2026-02-07T11:32:06+00:00

Why do I see far more gymbros with a chubby/overweight girlfriend than I see fit gymgirls with a chubby/overweight boyfriend?
Why do I see far more very short women date very tall guys, but rarely a short guy with a woman of the same height or taller than himself?
Why do I see load of white male/asian female couples, but rarely ever a white woman dating an asian bro?

Are you sure "female sexuality" is more inclusive of diversity?

stuffeson · 2026-02-07T13:06:06+00:00

This is so silly. This is so typical of a blue pill rad fem take on male sexuality.

The schtick is essentially. Take whatever difference there is in sexual behaviour between men and women. Say that it is all because "men" are taught their roles by the "patriarchy". And then exaggerate those difference, and then demonize the way men behave whilst praising how women behave.

Its tiring. Everything you have brough up are either false or massive exaggerations. The absolute vast majority of all men simply have no problem at all to stay faithful to one woman.

wolf2424b · 2026-02-07T11:52:29+00:00

It seems like men’s need for novelty, sexual variety, and attraction to much younger women makes it borderline impossible for them to stay genuinely committed to one woman and still feel satisfied.

To an extent I agree with this. Both male and female sexuality is incompatible with the ideal of lifelong monogamous marriage.

In fact, that's why we have marriage in the first place. If man were a pair-bonding species, there wouldn't need to be laws and customs to encourage people to get and stay married.

So in an ideal world where everyone pairs off with someone at their level of desirability, lots of people (both male and female) will either be unsatisfied after a while or never satisfied in the first place.

The difference, though, is in society's reaction to the situation. So for example, in a situation where a man leaves his middle aged wife for someone a lot younger, people will sympathize with the jilted first wife and (generally speaking) the legal system will make such a man pay dearly.

By contrast, if a plain Jane leaves her Billy Beta husband because he's just not exciting like the bad boys she was with in her early 20s, society will still sympathize with the woman. The husband will be blamed for not meeting an impossible standard.

So yeah, if you are troubled by male sexuality, fine, but you should also be troubled by female sexuality -- for fundamentally the same reasons.

Spicy_take · 2026-02-07T13:26:44+00:00

I’m getting tired of explaining to people the difference in a 40 year old that you’ve built a life with over 20 years and a 40 year old that wants to date you.

Aside from that, men don’t have a tendency to look at mostly good women and say “I won’t ever settle for less” like women do. Your bottleneck is imaginary in practice.

Lola_a_l-eau · 2026-02-07T12:07:53+00:00

Both men and women are the same when they are in their hoe phase at lest. Don't look only at the men. At least women hide it, yet they are for a while with you, then later they jump on another D and never respond to you back.

JollyRoger66689 · 2026-02-07T11:34:06+00:00

What also really gets me is the claim that “80% of women want the top 20% of men.” Meanwhile, men of all ages openly admit that they’re most attracted to 18-22 women - and betcha they don't mean fat ones! - which is an incredibly tiny slice of the female population. How is that not a much more extreme bottleneck?

2 reasons, 1st is this is talking about physical attractiveness, does not take into account actually having to date the women

2nd- this is just about at what age men see women in general as most attractive, if they love you I would hope they want you more than some random 23 year old

And how would that ever be a good thing? Evolution? Well, what good is anyone's geriatric seed. Who exactly do you think you're helping with that

if we are going down the evolutionary/genetic route- Yes it would be better if the men had the kids younger biologically speaking, But they aren't competing against younger versions of themselves and women are the ones that choose a man with desired traits

It’s wild to me how quickly women seem to “age out” of being sexually desirable to men who supposedly love them, build lives with them, and plan futures with them

Not being the Most attractive age doesn't equal undesirable. Most of us aren't going to be the "best" in most qualities anyways (like height and money for men) so why are you fixating on not being able to stay at the top when most men will never even get close?

Charming_Coffee_2166 · 2026-02-07T11:48:41+00:00

Humans are not monogamous. We are serial monogamous

BanDeezNutzPlease · 2026-02-07T13:12:59+00:00

Most men don't leave their wives as soon as they turn 26. There's lots of couples who've been together for 50+ years, and most divorces are initiated by women.

ConstipatedAvocado · 2026-02-07T11:41:50+00:00

It's alien to me. Like I genuinely don’t get it

Of course you dont get it. You're not a man.

Contrary to popular bullshit belief, men and women are not the same.

Meanwhile, men of all ages openly admit that they’re MOST attracted to 18-22 women

Think of the highlighted word there: most. Men are most attracted to younger, nubile women. That doesnt mean thats the only women men interact with. Good thing is relationships (and even sex) extend far beyond simple youth and beauty. There is a reason why the average age gap for relationships doesnt extend beyond 3 years 90% of the time. Equally, the 80/20 thing doesnt mean women completely ignore men in the 80%. But it does mean that those men in the 20% will have the lions share of female attention and interest. The vast majority of men after 30 settle down so sitting there taking some incels word as gospel is just fucking stupidity at this point.

It’s wild to me how quickly women seem to “age out” of being sexually desirable to men who supposedly love them, build lives with them, and plan futures with them

Its funny when I read shit like this from women. You'll judge incels and then say some completely incel coded bullshit like this. You think you dont see older women walking around with men living fulfilled lives? You dont see the richest man in the world fraternising with a 50+ year old with a hatchet job of a face??? One thing a lot of you Redditor/younger females dont understand often is that looks matter more for men than you think and personality matters more for women than you think. I'm 36, I see and speak to younger/college aged women sometimes when out with my friends. They're often beautiful but they're also fucking retarded, even more so than I remember. They may be nice to have a short term fling with but I can only imagine them being a serious viable option for the most emotionally stunted of men.

BeneficialChemist874 · 2026-02-07T12:18:39+00:00

It’s wild to me how quickly women seem to “age out”

That’s called hitting the wall

this-is-very · 2026-02-07T11:28:36+00:00

Wasn’t it men who women have been blaming for the patriarchy for many decades now? The same patriarchy that has monogamy as one of its pillars? And is old skin better than young skin? Does people’s health tend to improve or decline with age? It’s mad that women are upset at men’s honestly about preferences. It took us time for women to acknowledge that they also care about looks a lot after studies that showed revealed preferences vs. stated preferences. Women will come around to acknowledge that youth is beautiful lol

RelativeYak7 · 2026-02-07T11:50:37+00:00

It's easier just to accept the truth and act accordingly. Yes, men of all ages only want to fork 18 year-olds. Better to just know that now.

ViniusInvictus · 2026-02-07T13:39:19+00:00

Why do you think cultures worldwide invented the social construct of marriage?

To rein in those antisocial tendencies that are biologically inherent.

LillthOfBabylon · 2026-02-07T13:58:01+00:00

It seems like men’s need for novelty, sexual variety, and attraction to much younger women makes it borderline impossible for them to stay genuinely committed to one woman and still feel satisfied.

The difference is will they act on it? I dont think most men will act on it, especially since they know it's unrealistic. Also, in the end.....most guys can handle being alone, especially since their friends are less likely to be as close as women's.

What also really gets me is the claim that “80% of women want the top 20% of men.” Meanwhile, men of all ages openly admit that they’re most attracted to 18-22 women

The real problem is that:

They think wants means requiring.
Those guys are insecure and wish they were special enough to be the top 20%

ViolentShallot · 2026-02-07T11:49:37+00:00

Holy fuck this again.

You fucking understand male sexuality. You're just being deliberately dense about it. I hope.

What you have a biological impulse to do isn't what you intend to do.

We're not just our instincts.

So someone that says they can't understand how men can remain loyal and monogamous when having instinct- driven impulses to fuck different and young, is one of two things:

1- Being deliberately obtuse and lying

2- Incapable of comprehending that you don't need to surrender to your base instincts, so essentially intellectually and morally a fucking infant.

So unless you cannot separate "wanting to punch your boss" from actually doing so, "wanting food when hungry" from intending to steal from a pizzeria, unless you cannot understand how morality and intellect can control behavior, unless you are an indulgent, selfish, developmentally stunted overgrown toddler, you can understand how a man might feel the impulse to fuck someone else and not do so because he loves his wife and because it's wrong.

So which is it. Do you not understand it, or are you being deliberately obtuse?

nachtpfauenauge2 · 2026-02-07T12:41:58+00:00

>men are attracted to women who are the most fertile, healthy and beautiful

>this is somehow antisocial

Be honest: would you want to have sex with a hunchbacked, obese 60 year old nobel prize winner who has a great personality? I don't think you would.

IgorXY · 2026-02-07T11:31:14+00:00

There is a difference between general idea of what is and isn't attractive and there is love on personal level. These two are definitely not always connected. If you only now a person's age and you have to guess which one is more attractive, betting on a younger one is reasonable. This does not mean that the moment a woman turns 23 she becomes ugly or something.

Do you really think humans are concerned about evolution? Is this what you tell yourself why you prefer tall men? No one really thinks like that, maybe shadow goverment or some cults.

It’s wild to me how quickly women seem to “age out” of being sexually desirable to men who supposedly love them, build lives with them, and plan futures with them

You have a Blue Pill flair, you people like to bring up marriage statistics, so go ahead and look how many men trade their "aged out" wifes for a younger model.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-02-07T12:11:58+00:00

That feels kind of incompatible with long-term monogamy, family stability, and romantic partnership

Fortunately, "pro-social" doesnt require monogamy.

abaxeron · 2026-02-07T13:38:17+00:00

Meanwhile, men of all ages openly admit that they’re most attracted to 18-22 women - and betcha they don't mean fat ones! - which is an incredibly tiny slice of the female population.

They are still attracted to other women.

For women, when they mentally place a man into a "No" box, his attractiveness falls below zero. And broadly, there is no way back out, and this can happen 15 years into marriage.

It's alien to me as well that women initiate 68% of divorces and are maliciously responsible for close to 100% of misattributed paternity, but here we are... bo-orn to be kings...

Well, what good is anyone's geriatric seed. Who exactly do you think you're helping with that

Al Pacino became father at 83, Robert de Niro at 79. Seems "geriatric seed" is doing quite fine, thank you very much. Their children will grow up in opulence that most of us can't envision. These men helped those children by fathering them, here's "who".

TheHandymanCan- · 2026-02-07T12:37:28+00:00

We crave novelty, sexual variety and younger women but I think few men would leave their marriage for those things. Pursuing that would be like the short term gratification of eating a donut. You might crave it but you know it’s not good for you. The pride you feel being faithful to one woman throughout trials and tribulations is like the pride you feel doing a difficult workout. It’s kinda hard, staying committed isn’t easy, but when you do it you’re better off and you can be proud of yourself for it.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-02-07T11:36:05+00:00

The 80\20 thing came from a dating app in 2014. Now we all know dating apps notoriously man outnumber women 5 to 1, so of course they always use this figure to pretend their victims whereas we also know most young men have never asked out a real women.

All of the rants these men do are because they want a wife that pays 50/50 of bills, but does all the domestic work and looks after their 5 children without complaint. But as a man, he always wants to be able to go out and cheat with a range of young beautiful women whenever he wants.

It’s just layers of misogyny that a man is king of his castle and this is how it’s supposed to work for him

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Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-02-07T13:28:05+00:00

The red pill view is antisocial you're just not held to it. You can do what makes sense for you.

Working_Em · 2026-02-07T14:10:36+00:00

consistency and expectation for commitment or life partnership as ideals just seems alien and often toxic to me. I tried it in a LTR and it just felt like a performance against my nature. It does suck because it means I’ll end up alone but I’m not willing to pretend or lie to anyone just to try and hold on to a connection.

My drive feels literally like is to just have as many babies with different women as possible. I don’t do that because I don’t want to burden anyone but having a single family with one woman would be a compromised life full of regret and neglect I’d rather be alone than live that compromise.

AlarmingArm9919 · 2026-02-07T14:23:56+00:00

I've gotta be honest,

you can type milf, pawg, step mom, goth mommy, femdom, sounding, pegging, ballbusting, trans, cuck, ssbbw, bbw, farts, and whatever the fuck in

and find that whatever rules around men's desires are generally just the desires of one

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2026-02-07T14:28:13+00:00

This is just my own thoughts, but I think evolution favors individuals with polygamous men and hypergamous women, but evolution has also favored monogamous societies. Men who mate with multiple women obviously pass down more genes, women who become the mate of a chief are more likely to have her children live to reproduce themselves

We are born in 50/50 numbers, the only way to change that is with constant warfare, insuring a small number of very fit and capable men mate with a large number of women. Constant warfare doesn’t make for successful societies.

What we end up with is complicated, we have the genes of people from successful individuals and also the genes of people from successful societies.

Here’s the most important thing to remember, we are thinking individuals with complicated and sometimes contradictory desires, not cartoon characters.

My experience being friends with gay men has taught me that with absolute access to unlimited variety, a large portion will engage in some casual sex, some will engage in lots of casual sex. When they hit their late twenties and early thirties, even some guys with unlimited options for novelty and variety start to find casual sex boring, start looking for love connection and some form of restricted sexuality in their partnership. About half of partnered and married gay men I know are monogamous, the rest are usually “monogamish” with caveats. Only when one is out of town, only randos and never twice, only in threesomes…I’ve heard it all, lol.

Lots of women can be happy with an average Joe, lots of men can be happy with one woman. I do think there are lessons to be learned by looking at all aspects of our complicated sexuality. Men are probably wise not be assume they put a ring on it and can now phone it in and become an unambiguous lazy loser playing video games all day. Women likewise need to also need to realize that just because they have the ring, boring starfish once a week is probably not conducive to a happy, monogamous married life either.

Ego73 · 2026-02-07T14:38:55+00:00

men of all ages openly admit that they’re most attracted to 18-22 women

That's basically any category you can rank. You could also claim anyone, regardless of gender, will like 18-22 restaurants the most, or musical artists the most. And the number is irrelevant too. That argument would work for basically any number that wouldn't exceed an individual's capacity for rank. It really is a terrible argument.

Cultural-Charge4053 · 2026-02-07T14:52:05+00:00

This is a simple one. Women rarely see men they are viscerally attracted to. For men it’s happening constantly. In my five minute walk to work I easily register dozens of attractive women.

You have to consider the stuff about variety and age in this lens. The difference to a 30 year old man between a hot 22 year old and a hot 28 year old is minimal. And that’s if we’re going purely on looks. Odds are he’d enjoy hanging with the woman closer to his age anyway.

Variety doesn’t mean great variety like different races or something. Take your girl for a nice night out where she is dressed up real well then bring her home. Have sex with her the next morning again when she’s in her pajamas and her makeup has run off or been washed off. You’ve just had sex with two “different” women. Oh your gf got a nice new haircut? Variety. Oh she has new lingerie? Variety. Etc etc.

All of this makes more sense when you keep in mind how visceral and fleeting male attraction js.

Pro-IDGAF · 2026-02-07T15:13:20+00:00

as a 59m, i wouldnt say 20something girls are they only thing i find attractive, any woman up to my age can be attractive provided they take care of themselves.

sure young people are in their physical prime and thats fine for casual sex but if i'm dating them i need intellectual conversation and common interest and i seriously doubt a many women under 35-40 would fit that.

as for the sex part, if the woman i'm dating keeps my attention and stays interested, i won't stray.

MBTHVSK · 2026-02-07T15:28:52+00:00

Well you're right about one thing: male sexuality is a lot more about escape from/catharsis against complicated social situations/the complex expectations from other people, and female sexuality/attraction is about testing other people's ability to tolerate those things/ensnaring them in social traps.

ctrl_f_sauce · 2026-02-07T15:52:53+00:00

Here’s the thing about ranking, you basically rank from the least perceived flawed to most flaws. I would rank women that I had no interest in meeting above the woman who is actually able to attract my attention enough to get my effort.

henrycatalina · 2026-02-07T15:53:51+00:00

The men that can get sexual variety do not often settle down quickly. The men who get occasional sex with good enough women can settle down and bond. The men getting no sex often can't get their equal in women because they want better.

mashedturnip · 2026-02-07T16:05:10+00:00

If you wanted to do the things to someone that men want to do women, could you respect them or see them as equal ?

gaucho-consejos · 2026-02-07T16:09:18+00:00

The human drive to reproduce is not complicated, it is very simple, you are here to survive and reproduce, nothing more.

Odd-Finish-9968 · 2026-02-07T16:40:23+00:00

Okay, so why is it that the majority of divorces are initiated by women? Why is it that dead bedrooms are usually caused by low desire on the female side? It seems like women's sexuality is the one that's incompatible with long term monogamy, which is why you see more women choosing to remain single than ever before nowadays.

Due_Appointment_1188 · 2026-02-07T16:47:27+00:00

Calling it "antisocial" feels like you're miscategorizing it. Antisocial means hostile to social bonds. Male sexuality like you've described it just shows fiction with monogamy and long-term ideals..

Desire patterns existing in your head do zero social damage by themselves. What matters is behavior. Plenty of men experience attraction, feel sexual urges, but still choose commitment and restraint because societies literally run on impulse control. If raw desire equaled action, civilization would have collapsed around the invention of beer.

The 80/20 stuff gets treated like some deep evolutionary truth, when in practice it only describes intent. Most people just end up with the best option available to them. Men and women alike want more than they can realistically get, then calibrate downward until someone says yes due to market constraints.

Online dating gives the 80/20 rule more visibility because it puts raw preference on the main screen for everyone to see. Swipe apps reveal who people would want to be with in the abstract, then people confuse that with who they actually date, sleep with, build lives with, and tolerate on a Tuesday evening. Those are very different realities.

So yeah, the skew exists at the desire level. But real life forces stuff like compromise, proximity, timing, reciprocity, and effort down your throat, and nobody escapes it.

Hungry-Plantain-3315 · 2026-02-07T16:51:09+00:00

Yet men still act clueless why women are opting out of marriage.

Key-Willingness-2223 · 2026-02-07T13:37:41+00:00

It’s because you’re looking at it from your own paradigm and axioms, not from there’s in the first instance, and conflating claims in the second

So I’ll lay out arguments, I’m not saying I agree with them or disagree with them etc, just being descriptive

1) the novelty aspect:

Let’s say I do get happily married and have a family with one woman.

And then without anyone knowing also occasionally sleep with other women. Just sex, no romantic attachment.

The argument is that it doesn’t affect the first, because they’re different categories of behaviour.

They’re still romantically monogamous. They’re still duty bound monogamous etc.

Just not sexually monogamous.

2) the 80/20 claim

The distinction here is:

80% of women are actively going after 20% of men, and see themselves as settling for any man who’s not in that top 20%

Whereas men may have the preference for that type of woman, but that doesn’t mean they see it as settling to date a 26 year old or 36 year old or 56 year old necessarily

It’s a criticism of women having a higher perceived value than maps onto reality. Hence why it often conflates with the “everyone woman sees herself as a 7 or above” type claims

No one actually has issue with the idea that the majority of women may find Channing Tatum or Michael B Jordan or whoever more attractive than a random guy at Walmart. It’s when the same women believes that she’s of the same “sexual market value” as that guy without any justification

FearInoculumTool · 2026-02-07T14:25:27+00:00

What is there to think about? I only date supermodels who are between 19 and 19.5 years old.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2026-02-07T11:42:07+00:00

While men might be most attracted to young women, that doesn't mean they think older women are unattractive. Apart from a few outliers, the older ones are just not quite as alluring. But they'll still never be short of male attention. On the other hand, women are only attracted to men who are in their eyes "top tier" (bear in mind, however, that this top tier is not the same for every woman), and they find the rest repulsive.

You've tried to equate men's preference to women's, but they're nowhere near the same thing.

-hypnose · 2026-02-07T11:53:47+00:00

I don’t know if it’s just age.

This is anecdotal, but the older I get, the younger my potential suitors seem to be and, strangely, often more attractive 😂 There are a lot of people who genuinely fantasize about women older than them, more than you might expect.

I was almost invisible in my twenties, and it sometimes feels like the universe is making up for it now. That said, much of the attention is still purely sexual.

So what else could be going on?

I do think that as women get older, we tend to become less submissive. Hormones play a role, but so does experience. We tend to tolerate less, speak more directly, and insist on being met as full people. When we’re younger, we’re often more accommodating and eager to please. From perimenopause onward, many women become blunter, more self-directed, and less willing to tolerate nonsense. I see this shift in myself.

That can feel threatening or destabilizing to some men, especially those who were unconsciously relying on women being more pliable or self-sacrificing. In that sense, attraction to younger women may not be only about youth or novelty, but about power dynamics and ease.

I’m sure this isn’t the only factor, but it’s something worth thinking about.

OwnerSebi · 2026-02-07T13:18:07+00:00

Novelty and sexual variety is caused by boredom - in some men(either with their sex life or other non-related issues); or too much sexual novelty and variety BEFORE settling down - in women.

The attraction to younger women is probably some fetish tied to virility, inexperience, sexual freedom, and their youth - that some old guys have.

Also, what kind of men you talk to that only prefer 18-22 women? Most guys want a girl the same age, or 3-5 years up or below. I personally like 19 to 35 or more.

aslfingerspell · 2026-02-07T13:45:24+00:00

The age thing is a preference, while 80/20 is generally thought of as exclusivity.

For example, a 40 year old man will probsbly, if we are talking purely about sexual attraction, prefer a 25 year old over a 40 year old. However, he can find both attractive. It's not an exclusive preference in the sense of only dating people in their 20s.

On the other hand, people who complain about 80/20 are not simply upset that an average guy still gets sex but that his girlfriend would prefer someone hotter.

The idea is that there's an enormous percentage of men shut out of the dating market entirely.

Does this make sense?

Pale_Will_5239 · 2026-02-07T15:42:23+00:00

Nothing you're saying about men is remotely true. Touch some grass. A large share of men are not solely interested in 18 - 22. Blondes and red heads are at the bottom of the totem poll for me. Go look at actual porn trends and what men watch when they're alone. They LOVE a thick woman they love imperfect.

Early-Journalist-14 · 2026-02-07T12:20:57+00:00

Men are hardwired for reproduction.

Explains the entirety of the age preference, and also gives you a nice gradient from 18 to 40 for how attractive a woman is simply due to her ability to facilitate that primary goal.

It's not that deep.

Now just because women are inherently attractive at a certain age doesn't mean men won't commit to a woman for a lifetime as long as the goal of reproduction is assured.

Even if we strip the potential for pairbonding for the most part, you're still left with men who reproduce and would cheat if the chance presented itself, but they themselves are not (anymore?) an attractive enough prospect for the women they deem attractive enough, so nothing happens.

Top-Spring9697 · 2026-02-07T13:25:24+00:00

And how would that ever be a good thing? Evolution? Well, what good is anyone's geriatric seed. Who exactly do you think you're helping with that

It’s wild to me how quickly women seem to “age out” of being sexually desirable to men who supposedly love them, build lives with them, and plan futures with them

I'm not sure what you point is here with this. Older people are less fertile and therefore less sexually attractive as a general rule. But women age out faster, because their reproductive system has to literally maintain the environment for an unborn child to live in, which takes more energy and degrades faster. This reality is not anyone's fault or a moral failing, it just IS (although the actions people take can obviously be moral or immoral nonetheless).

Men being more primally attracted to young baddies with hot bodies and big jugs than regular girls next door is no more or less "antisocial" than women fangirling over athletes or other famous/rich and successful guys is. It's just how people work. It's sad that men realistically won't be as attracted to their wives when they get older, yes - but it's also sad to consider that dudes who experience unemployment or massive financial failures will find out that until death do us part was really just an aspirational idea, not reality; as will old bald fat guys who find their wife banging the pool boy. People aren't inherently moral, remember the story about the Garden of Eden, serpent, forbidden apple, etc. What do you want us to say?

antariusz · 2026-02-07T12:42:09+00:00

The variability that men experience in a lifetime, is the same variability that women experience literally every single month.

So OP, tell us, how does it feel to have hormones that are incompatible with family life or long-term monogamy. How does it feel to have evolution push you towards short term hookups when you’re ovulating and then wanting a stable man with a good career 26 days of the month.

wtknight · 2026-02-07T14:03:08+00:00

Men who like one woman enough will want to stay committed to her. Some men do like a woman enough to be unconcerned with the idea of sexual variety.

But I don't understand why women might not understand the concept of someone wanting sexual variety. When someone goes to a restaurant, do they always want to order the same thing from a menu? When someone travels to another country, do they always want to travel to the same country? Desiring sexual variety seems natural to me because each other person is going to be a different sexual experience for that man, although I will admit that some men objectify women so much that it is not the experience that they are caring about but rather just the validation from knowing that they can attract multiple women. But for the average man who can get along well enough with women, I just think that they like the variety aspect. It always seems to me that most women don't even like men enough to want to desire multiple sexual experiences with multiple men in and of itself, and a woman who has had sex with many men is only doing it just because she hasn't found the right one yet.

RealisticTap5216 · 2026-02-07T16:30:55+00:00

According to Esther Perel, it is usually women that get bored in long-term monogamous relationships first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwfr2DelmKA&t

I feel that, biologically speaking, humans are geared towards serial monogamy lasting 5-7 years (enough time to have a child and raise it to the point where it's not dependent on its parents for mobility), not lifelong partnerships. Lifelong marriage is an artificial construct designed to ensure transition of resources and property to genetic offspring.

Biologically speaking, younger women are more likely to exhibit physical signs of good health, indicating a better candidate for bearing children, so it does make sense that men would be biologically attracted to them. Women have similar biological attraction mechanisms; they are more attracted to men that are wealthier, taller, and stronger, which indicates a potential mate that will have the resources and strength to protect her and her offspring, and indicates good genetics to pass on to her offspring.

The geriatric seed is a moot point; the man's evolutionary biology only cares about his genetic line continuing, not how much of a benefit it would be to the human genome. If your point was true, then people with genetic diseases would have no libido, but they do.

I view these biological mechanisms as tendencies, not absolutes. We trick ourselves around our own biology all the time. Many men have a preference for younger/healthier women, women often have a preference for wealthier/taller men, but it doesn't mean that they can't have fulfilling relationships with less-than-ideal partners. Both genders have biological mechanisms working against permanent relationships.

cuddly--suar · 2026-02-07T12:53:51+00:00

Men are hardwired to spread our seed as much as we can. So our offsprings and genetic line has higher chance of survival. Ofc modern life makes this kinda wiring not possible but underneath all that we are hardwired for all that.

Is this our fault, probably not

Title	Male sexuality just seems borderline antisocial to me
Author	Prior-Impression-871
Upvotes	42
Comments	245
Date	February 7, 2026 11:18 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qybant/male_sexuality_just_seems_borderline_antisocial/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/male-sexuality-just-seems-borderline-antisocial-to.1572924 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572924

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