I'm 32 years old and married now, but when I was a teenager, I heard things like:

  • "I wish I had a boyfriend like you (but not you)."
  • "It's a shame the guys I date are jerks. I wish they were like you."
  • "I don't want to ruin our friendship, but one day you'll find a woman who deserves you, and you'll be very happy." (And indeed, I found that woman. Later, this friend tried to interfere with my relationship, but she failed, and now I'm married to my wife.)

I often see people claiming that many guys who can't get a girlfriend have personality issues. However, I also notice how easy it seems for these same guys to make friends, both male and female. Ironically, the term "nice guy" has become ridiculed in many forums, suggesting that these men are actually bad people, which is why they are alone. Yet, many of these "nice guys" are surrounded by friends, both men and women, who root for them. These female friends even say that they’ll make great partners for someone in the future, even if they themselves are not interested.

This brings me to my point:

  • If "nice guys" truly have bad personalities, why are they so good at making and keeping friends?
  • If they don’t have good personalities, why do they still attract women with children, women with financial problems, or women past a certain age? If I were a single father, I certainly wouldn’t want a stepmother with a bad personality for my child.
  • If these men lack a good personality, why do people often say, "they'll make a great husband for someone one day"? And why can’t that "someone" be you? And why do you get upset when that "someone" finally shows up?

It seems like the problem with "nice guys" isn’t their personality but other factors, such as looks or money.