Men erroneously confuse being confident with being an asshole with the whole nice guy/asshole dichotomy and women

commentasaurus1989 · 2024-01-26T15:13:00+00:00

Change the title from “Men erroneously confuse” to “Women erroneously confuse” and I’d hear you out. As a former asshole, It’s women who are selecting for the trait and therefore are shaping mens social dynamics.

The more accurate statement would be “women erroneously confuse kindness with a lack of confidence”.

Dissentient · 2024-01-26T08:51:30+00:00

There's no confusion. Toxic excesses of attractive traits (like confidence and decisiveness turning into being a cocky asshole) are far less unattractive to women than any expression of lack of those traits. Erring on the side of expressing toxic masculinity gets men better results than what men themselves consider respectful behavior.

Things would be very different if women treated cocky assholes the same way they treated boring shy guys.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2024-01-26T07:50:42+00:00

Being confident and being an asshole are two cheeks of the same butt - guys who are are assholes ooze confidence because acting like an asshole requires confidence; guys who are confident act like assholes because they’ve developed a shit-don’t-stink worldview and believe that they can behave as they please.

You can dress it up in all the long-winded psychobabble you want, but the cold hard fact is, men who behave like obnoxious, cocky assholes have the most success with women. Men who are quiet, introverted, reserved, shy, etc., do not ooze confidence by definition, hence why women view them with contempt.

SnooCupcakes9990 · 2024-01-26T10:03:03+00:00

Damn I have all of this, but I get "I only see you as a friend." Hmm...

thedarkracer · 2024-01-26T07:59:57+00:00

Not exactly though. Most of us have anecdotes from our school lives with bullies being swarmed with girls and every girl trying to get his attention. Usually not all but majority. Also those bullies happened to be jocks and the funny part is that they were usually the more misogynistic type too. If girls were to know what happened in the locker room talk, they would be shocked to learn that.

Ok-Assistant-1220 · 2024-01-26T14:50:24+00:00

It's because assholes are confident. The confident part is what women like.

Frdxhds · 2024-01-26T15:23:06+00:00

All this text and at the end you still agree that women prefer assholes over genuinely kind guys

JDWhiz96 · 2024-01-26T13:05:25+00:00

Stupid and false post. Women go for assholes over nice men, full stop. The only ones who will agree with you are women who think of themselves as morally superior and less shallow (though ofc they’re wrong).

Updawg145 · 2024-01-26T07:11:06+00:00

Most high level successful people just fake humility because it's what appeals to the masses, especially on TV. Most of the high value men women are attracted to are actually very much "assholes" in some way. Asshole-type behaviour is typically necessary to ascend to the level required to be so sought after by so many women. Women aren't interested in some timid nice guy who goes around helping old ladies cross the street, they want a masculine man who competes in various things and wins.

It's really what it comes own to. Women want winners. Winners typically are assholes.

neinhaltchad · 2024-01-26T09:52:13+00:00

It’s very simple.

Women say they want Luke Skywalker but actually fuck Han Solo.

What works isn’t “being an asshole” it’s being sexy, and kind of an asshole who shows glimpses of a “heart of gold” which a woman thinks she can unlock “just for her” because that in turn reflects on how special she is.

When women describe shit like thisx they are skipping all the steps of sexual attraction and jumping right into how they imagine a man they are living with and married to treats them and their kids and grandparents.

“Nice” men that don’t generate tingles never reach that stage.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-01-26T13:06:25+00:00

Think of the hero archetype...Do you think ANY woman would hear this description of a man and be turned off?

Its not a turn on. Women don't dream of f*cking Superman, as much as men want them to. They're attracted to dominance, which is often ancillary or contrary to virtuous behavior. And as much as men want to sell the positive Alpha, women, who are sensitive and irrational, will still frequently judge your "assertive kindness" as weakness, and the Bad Boy's assholeness as assertiveness.

Women like Thor. But they love Loki.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-01-26T08:26:11+00:00

There is no doubt that being genuinely kind is better for you and for your relationships. There is also no doubt that you can be more than sufficiently attractive if you are kind.

Now, as to whether being an asshole can be sexier in some respects, that gets complex. It does depend on the woman in question, too.

But let's remember that the pure hero Archetype is not usually the most erotic of female fantasies. The roguish hero is often more popular. The White Hat may be the male ideal (and even the female as well in many ways); but the Black Hat hero is often the female erotic ideal.

A lot of this simply has to do with our current environment being in an evolutionary mismatch with respect to evolved female instincts. I do not think anyone has all of this terrain perfectly mapped out, but here are some of the ideas worth considering.

I would say that a true Hero's submission to his code--to any abstract ideal--can sort of still read as being somewhat submissive in general, at least to a woman's most primal instincts. There may not have been that many abstract codes in the stone age, and the Alpha may have done as he pleases to a greater extent than the pure Hero. Women are also naturally more agreeable and neurotic, and possibly conscientious in certain respects. This and other factors leads them to naturally be more inhibited; but the erotic is about disinhibition and a certain type of freedom. The Black Hate hero is more free. He represents true disinhibition, which is very sexual. The Roguish type also tends to create push and pull dynamics, which can heighten already existing attraction and create an amplified overall romantic and erotic experience. Finally, the Black Hat can make a woman feel very special. She can bring out the good in him. He's a sorta-baddie with a heart of gold that only she can redeem. This is a compelling emotional drama for a woman's lizard brain.

Notice that the 'Asshole' here is almost never a true asshole in the minds of the women who are attracted to him. Now, they may be wrong or distorting reality to feed their erotic fantasy; nevertheless, it's important to note that pure, unmitigated evil is generally repellent to women if they can see it for what it is. Not just terrifying, but also repulsive. It should be noted that while the dynamics are not the same, some of this stuff is true for women attracting men as well. Roguishness in a woman can be erotic and disinhibiting for men, too. It's just that men don't really have the dominance concerns women do, so excessive agreeableness is not a primal turn off. And, depending on the man in question, a wider variety of female persona archetypes can heighten the male erotic experience, as they can be the basis of different types of male fantasies, from the really pure good girl you get to open up sexually to the confident but agreeable woman who helps you overcome your own shyness or lack of confidence, etc.

Perpetual_Longing · 2024-01-26T09:44:51+00:00

I think we should differentiate between attraction for long term relationship and attraction for sex (lust).

I'd argue for women who are currently just looking for a fling or casual sex, men with asshole tendency/characteristics are more attractive because

they'd perceive these asshole men to be less judgey when it comes to casual sex
It's easier to rationalize why they shouldn't have serious relationship with this asshole type, due to apparent assholery being on display
These asshole men can be discarded with practically zero guilt, as they appear cocky and confident and would not be as devastated when being dumped, compared to men who are more decent/less of an asshole.

This should also explain why women seems to give sex more easily to the assholes as sex is the only thing they want from these men.

While with the men they want a long term relationship with, they'd take the time before getting into sex as they want to cultivate a better image and worry of a judgment if they seem too eager by giving sex early, which could derail their chance with the man.

I could be wrong and this is just a theory.

_H_a_c_k_e_r_ · 2024-01-26T09:16:38+00:00

Every guy who went to school can invalidate everything you said with their experiences. What women say really doesn't matter when we can clearly see their actions. Women need to figure out why they are doing this, do they have some psychological disorder like stockholm syndrome? It pretty much sounds like that. They keep bashing us that they don't like jerks but end up being with a jerk.

MotleyCrew1989 · 2024-01-26T09:03:20+00:00

Think of the hero archetype; he's strong, courageous, willful and assertive. He uses his strength to help others in need and doesn't let setbacks impede his goals. He's kind and helpful, not just to women and children but to his friends, and people enjoy being around him. He stands by his values and doesn't compromise them for anyone, and isn't easily goaded into losing his cool by mere words of disrespect. He's compassionate, and would go to great lengths to please the woman he loves because he values her greatly as a partner.

Yet in my experience, the men that I have seen be sucessfull getting women are the ones that treat them like a set of holes to be fucked and barely treat them well enough so they dont leave.

What women would like in an ideal partner (your example) vs what gets them to spread their leg the quickest are two different things.

AidsVictim · 2024-01-26T08:11:18+00:00

All you have to do is understand is that confidence is the most important personality trait when it comes to not only attracting a mate, but friends and people in general. That's it. Confidence.

I don't believe that's really true. I've met plenty of confident people that were not especially popular or otherwise very socially successful (although they were rarely on the bottom of the social ladder). Although socially successful/socially intelligent people do tend to be more confident, it's not clear that confidence precedes success (i.e. their confidence arises from success). Ability to navigate social situations (which often does require some level of confidence) is probably the single most important individual trait. But even then physical attractiveness is still extremely valuable in both a romantic and general social context.

Think of the hero archetype; he's strong, courageous, willful and assertive. He uses his strength to help others in need and doesn't let setbacks impede his goals. He's kind and helpful, not just to women and children but to his friends, and people enjoy being around him. He stands by his values and doesn't compromise them for anyone, and isn't easily goaded into losing his cool by mere words of disrespect. He's compassionate, and would go to great lengths to please the woman he loves because he values her greatly as a partner.

A lot of historical heros do not fulfill the more kind/compassionate/romantic half of that description.

Because displaying kindness doesn't turn women off, despite some of you guys' attempts to gaslight women into admitting that it does.

This is where the main point of contention actually is.

Being overly "soft" in terms of being too kind, polite, or emotional is definitely a turn off for a significant amount of women. The "gaslighting" here is that women try to box this all into being a doormat, but it's really a fear of a man being a doormat as much as the actuality of it i.e. the implication matters as much as the real thing, or otherwise being unable to stand up to "harder" men.

On the flipside a lot of women do get turned on by social dominance that is often rude or disparaging to (usually men) others lower on the social hierarchy. Usually this is excused by "he didn't really mean it" "it was a joke" "xyz is too sensitive" etc. Men are usually pretty good at picking up on when other men are subtly (or more bluntly) asserting social dominance and a lot of women either choose to look the other way or don't quite understand what's happening ("that's just how boys are"). This is where the stereotype of women liking assholes comes from - because a lot do.

FrodoCraggins · 2024-01-26T13:29:13+00:00

OP, search "he's a genuinely good guy but I'm just not attracted to him" in twox or any other woman-oriented sub. Let me know how you interpret the results.

GhettoJamesBond · 2024-01-26T08:07:43+00:00

You seem to overlook the fact that many alpha males show their dominance by picking on beta males.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2024-01-26T07:46:42+00:00

I ain't reading all that.
I'm happy for you though, or sorry that happened.

emorizoti · 2024-01-26T17:16:02+00:00

I agree. But the issue with this is that you'll be more likely to meet a girl with lots of issues and a broken personality, especially in your 20s. Men really need to learn to stop playing captain save the hoes and think of them as serious partners. Reserve the niceness after you'll marry.

LogicalLetterhead272 · 2024-01-26T08:04:29+00:00

Here's the thing: if you're trying to be nice, you're also trying to make sure you're not overstepping someone's boundaries or making them uncomfortable, which is unconfident behavoir, and a major turn off to women.

Being confident when flirting with a girl requires you to basically just make a leap of faith and hope you're not coming off as an asshole. One woman's "being swept of my feet" would come off as "sexual harassment" to another woman, and men can't read minds.

Also, assholes ALWAYS have confidence, otherwise they wouldn't be bold enough for their asshole behavoir.

. Guys like will smith and chris hemsworth

They're also in the top .1% in the looks department so you're further proving the redpill claim that women rate whether a guy is creepy/assholish or just confident/charismatic based on their looks.

Historical_Spinach83 · 2024-01-26T08:34:35+00:00

Not true. When a nice guy does the playful teasing he’s an asshole and it’s bullying, but when a hot guy does it, he’s just playfully teasing.

safestuff987 · 2024-01-26T16:11:38+00:00

Assholes get laid in spite of being assholes, not because they're assholes.

DeJuanBallard · 2024-01-26T16:44:27+00:00

No one is reading all that, and from the first sentence alone I know you don't know what your talking about.

bottleblank · 2024-01-26T17:01:27+00:00

Society keeps trying to tell awkward/unconfident/unsuccessful/undesirable men that trying to seek attention, validation, inclusion, intimacy, and so on is inappropriate, that talking to women without express permission is a sin, that being sexual around a woman is a crime.

When he's awkward and meek and respectful, when he's trying to colour inside the lines, they don't want him. They react poorly when he attempts the same thing other men attempt, they chastise him, humiliate him, shame him as punishment for being out of his lane or trying to do things they don't deem him worthy of.

Then, whenever he sees another man being socially/sexually proactive and doing things he's been told are bad, forbidden, against the rules, he's going to think that any time another man does do those things then he must be an asshole who doesn't care about women or correct social behaviour. What else could he think, if it's been established in his world that daring to speak to women, being cocky, being sexually forward, doing essentially anything the "bad boy" does is out of the question?

As a result, he then thinks that the only way to get a partner is to be the asshole. It might not work, it might offend people more, but the only way he's going to get out of his loneliness and isolation is to try it, and since you've warned him off and neglected him for being what he thought was a good guy, he has no concept of good boundaries. You've put the "behaviour that gets the results" in some ambiguous area of "break all the rules, go get some, fuck it, she'll want you for doing that, so do whatever you like".

He doesn't see the nuance because he's never had the experience of working with it, he doesn't have practice, he doesn't know where the lines are, nobody's ever given him the opportunity to explore that.

Agile-Explanation263 · 2024-01-26T13:24:31+00:00

Its a simple concept the more you put others down the better you appear to stupid people or people lokking for a reason to like you.

Aka if a handsome dude has an ugly/nerdy short friend he has banter with it'll make him look confident to dumb school girls who are attracted to his face already. They aren't attarcted to the nerd so what he goes through is meamingless to them. Never forget the aspect of domineering and self importance that helps prop these people up to be the center of attention.

Confidence is determined entirely by your looks, and what positive reinforcement you recieve. Even parents fall victim to this lol they may not give an ugly child positive reinforcement in any aspect of life even under the lense of parent glasses but if he's attractive he can get that reinforcement from somewhere else.

jverveslayer · 2024-01-26T07:30:55+00:00

Yeah, I agree with this. I think I'm generally pretty kind and try to build people up and it helps me much more than it hurts me in dating.

I will say that you can go pretty far on the cocky/arrogant side and still have many (not all) women love it with the right vibe. I don't mean being mean to people or being stuck up, but having an attitude that will make a lot of people think you're full of yourself and want to "cut you down to size". Many will call that "being an asshole", but many girls will love it if you do it in a fun way

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-01-26T10:28:50+00:00

Not often I agree with trp but this post is spot on.

I’ve got a good example to highlight this too.

I work fairly large hospitality business. In the kitchen there’s a small team of about 8 people. One guy “David” has been there about a year, he’s not a bad looking dude (I’m half convinced he’s into black pill shit) he mainly keeps to himself, he doesn’t own up to mistakes or try to help his colleagues when it’s busy so he’s not a great team player. I’ve tried to talk to him on multiple occasions, just small talk and I get one word answers and he doesn’t even look me in the eye either. It’s pretty much the same with everyone so of course he’s now labelled as “a bit weird”

We also have “Paul” in the team. Again not a bad looking guy, but “Paul” talks to everyone, he even flirts with the older ladies, he’s always teasing someone and he’s easy and fun to talk too. He’s happy to jump in and help anyone struggling regardless of what job their actually doing. “Paul” would probably be called an asshole by a lot of people that didn’t know him well because he can come across as cheeky.

Que “Alison” starting with us, now “Alison” is absolutely drop dead gorgeous, think a natural looking barbie but she’s pretty cool and has a good sense of humour. And she’s single.

Obviously both boys are smitten. “David” doesn’t change his behaviour except with “Alison” all of a sudden he’s trying to have these really intense deep conversations with her, his method of trying to get her is to make her feel sorry for him, would she go out for a drink with him ‘because he has no one else’ he’s all alone in the world, is she really going to leave him alone’ etc But “Alison’s” not stupid, she’s noticed straight away he only talks to her, he ignores anyone else that talks to him, she might feel sorry for him but his lack of social confidence is off putting.

“Paul” includes “Alison” in his teasing but doesn’t single her out, he definitely makes it clear he’s flirting with her but then still goes on to do cheeky flirting with the older ladies and winding other people up. “Alison” admits neither “Paul” nor “David” are her usual type but can’t deny that “Paul’s” confidence about himself isn’t attractive.

Guess who “Alison” hooked up with at the Christmas party and is now exclusive with?

MassiveScarcity5337 · 2024-01-26T12:28:02+00:00

Being confident means your attractive. Being arrogant means your ugly

KayRay1994 · 2024-01-26T15:04:31+00:00

This can’t be stressed enough - a lot of guys seem to miss the point entirely, assholes aren’t liked cause they’re assholes, they’re liked cause they’re confident and they lead.

Generally speaking if your primary two options are a confident leader who’s also a jackass vs a meek wet towel who all know would be a jackass if he grew a backbone - the former is usually who you will pick

I also think lots of nice guys are so in denial of their own shakey character, that’s why they only see the asshole as he is (and yes, this applies to ‘genuinely kind’ guys as well - if you feel the need to market yourself as nice or kind, then you have nothing to offer), they hate the fact that people see past their performative kindness (imo if it wasn’t performative you wouldn’t need to actively advertise it, and you wouldn’t be so spiteful), and use that as a filter.

Fact is, you can be a nice and kind person, not advertise it as your only trait (or even better, not advertise it at all) and look at what the asshole in doing right - be confident, be playful and be bold, you have that combined with actual, real, non-performative kindness with reasonable limits, then you have a winner

abaxeron · 2024-01-26T10:03:11+00:00

Because displaying kindness doesn't turn women off, despite some of you guys' attempts to gaslight women into admitting that it does.

An average woman absolutely loves nice, loving, caring, supportive partner over someone who she legitimately is afraid of.

An average woman is also in her 40s.

When it comes to dating, NOBODY IN THEIR SANE MIND cares what women in their 40s want.

Queen_Maxima · 2024-01-27T00:16:00+00:00

Some also confuse being nice with being a doormat, that has some subtle manipulative component in the behaviour that rubs many people the wrong way. I wonder if these men struggling with dating also struggle to make friends in general. Like that old meme about putting nice coins in and hopefully sex comes out, this could also be applied to that particular person who keeps buying beers for the entire social group all the time in the hopes that earns them a friendship.

These are people who either adapt too much to their surroundings like chameleons or who seem to practice what they have to say or do in order to be perceived as more likeable. Or the other way around, no adaptation at all and also under-developed social intuition. Both are different sides of the same coin.

I understand why these people struggle in this, the human race is succesful not because humans are particularly strong, or fast. Humans are on top of the food chain because they cooperate, so gathered in groups we are basically invincible. So if someone isn't that great with interpersonal skills it would make sense that it might be detrimental for their social/relational but mostly their sexual success. This might also be why people on the spectrum seem to have a harder time dating, on average.

Like there is a huge difference between being nice, being kind, being friendly and being polite. There is a difference between being honest and being genuine. Between teasing and bullying. Et cetera

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-01-27T17:42:00+00:00

Unsurprisingly, the sub full of young men lacking self-confidence doesn’t understand what confidence actually is

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2024-01-26T10:26:45+00:00

It's not just confidence. It's being an actual good person vs acting nice for something in return. Sometimes it's really obvious to tell the difference. Confident people are usually just better actors.

They'll never listen though. These red pill guys want an excuse to asshole because it's easier for themselves and their ego.

Mahlah_Maldau · 2024-01-26T09:05:01+00:00

I think men are sweating about it too much. And, men who keep babbling about women this women that use such big fugaze words it's difficult to understand what they are saying, only to prove them right or inflate/ elevate their Idea. Just shoot your shot.

Triglycerine · 2024-01-26T10:05:56+00:00

To make a very complicated point very simple:

Brads are assholes.

Chads are nice.

Losers are timid (whether timidly nice or timidly aggressive is irrelevant).

Medium high level men are usually the classical asshole types. They're the ones who have the confidence to try to distinguish themselves and the awareness of their deficiencies compelling them to.

Chads are confident in a way that derives itself from the awareness that they don't have something to prove and enforce their own boundaries with the minimal amount of force.

Losers either go along with everything or hide behind institutions to try and gain revenge.

In short: You can either become an asshole or become valuable enough you don't need to.

"Most women are into/with assholes" is simply a matter of statistics because most men aren't high quality enough to be capable of being nice without being seen as pushovers by women and other men.

It's not an inherent aspect of the game — It's simply the price of admission.

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JustAnotherBoymoder · 2024-01-26T07:18:28+00:00

You should see the men when you're not a woman they want to date or fuck. Suddenly ur confident men truly are assholes.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-01-26T11:10:08+00:00

What’s funny is that I’ve actually encountered almost the exact opposite. Most women have no idea how to be confident without outright saying it, and as a result they tend to turn just about everyone off. I work in a field largely dominated by women, and when we’ve had supervisors who are women it’s actually the other women quick to call them a bitch, Asshole, etc.

Don’t get me wrong, there are 100% men who are assholes but I’ve found that either they’re a dick or women just don’t feel as though they deserve the right to have any confidence at all, so it’s their perception driving the designation.

Mitago1 · 2024-01-26T11:27:45+00:00

People in general confuse confidence and arrogance.

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-01-26T15:42:50+00:00

Many people erroneously confuse being nice with having no confidence.

YtBlue · 2024-01-26T16:24:47+00:00

Dominance, Aggression and all those toxic traits predict sexual success not Attractiveness. These studies asked men's body count and those kind of men consistently scored higher.

Leaving-trunk2 · 2024-01-26T16:55:09+00:00

I don’t know. People are shouting about how a man’s presence or conversation is annoying or somehow dangerous. “Confident people” are the ones who ignore those guidelines. Which if we take those sentiments at face value then ignoring them kinda makes you tacitly an asshole. “I don’t care if I may be perceived as dangerous or obnoxious”

iSellNuds4RedditGold · 2024-01-26T19:40:59+00:00

I think this post is a great example of how women use language as a self preservation mechanic. They word what they want to convey very nicely but for the trained eye it just doesn't make sense. I've read through most of the comments, some making great points, but OP dismisses them and still tries to flip the narrative. But here... It just doesn't fly.

JayRadio80 · 2024-01-26T19:42:22+00:00

Actually, yes confidence is key, but it isn’t even the confidence alone that does it. The confidence is a vehicle by which makes it easier to ‘connect’. To find that person you feel it with. The nice guy simply self deprecates enough that it has the tendency to make him avoid interpersonal interactions or at least going deeper with a woman. Confidence simply helps overcome that.

There are men who are too nice for their own good who still manage to make connections and have a sex life. Likewise there are confident guys who make lots of connections but struggle with sexual chemistry. It’s all by chance at some point. And therefore there are assholes that get laid and assholes that don’t get laid.

Sexual chemistry is the real key and that’s dependent on the interaction and how often you make interactions until you find it. Thus, confidence helps that. Everything else flows from there.

Most-Ground7288 · 2024-01-26T19:56:12+00:00

You give all these attributes, which is helpful. But the problem is that each individual woman has a different definition of what respect, assertiveness, etc., are. From my experience, if you don't look that good (and I don't mean the way you dress or keep yourself) but if you're flat out ugly, no woman will even give you the time of day no matter how well you meet those given attributes. Let's face it, both women and men generally only care about looks first and personality second. If you're fat and ugly as a man, women automatically think you're creepy.

captainhowdy82 · 2024-01-26T20:20:41+00:00

I would say not just confidence but also COMPETENCE is huge. Like being competent at anything at all is sexy.

DoinIt989 · 2024-01-26T23:11:41+00:00

Confident people usually are kinda assholes though. Being "Disagreeable" is generally seen as a positive trait in men, and it's associated with confidence.

DXBrigade · 2024-01-27T00:07:53+00:00

The truth is that MOST people are nice but the people who market themselves as "nice guys" aren't especially nice , they just tend to be losers which is why they struggle with women.

Proudvow · 2024-01-27T20:16:38+00:00

But it's easier to behave confidently when you're not concerned about coming off as an asshole. The guys who don't care simply have an easier time.

H_T1998 · 2024-01-28T05:41:07+00:00

You can be an asshole you just gotta be attractive lol

chillywilly3142 · 2024-01-31T17:38:56+00:00

It’s just men that confuse this?

Women seem to often think that assholes must also have other desirable traits

It comes down to most people not feeling genuinely good about themselves without being a narcissist (which isn’t genuine really) so they wouldn’t know it if it bit them on the butt

Most men are dog average in almost all ways and so there is no real reason for them to be confident and the same goes for women also

True confidence comes from accomplishments, otherwise what are you confident in?

So they LARP being confident

Same goes with women seeing some famous women being entitled bitches that only gets away with it because people put up with their crap in order to derive benefit….a lot of women think “oh, if I acted like a spoiled brat like XYZ then I’ll somehow be like her in other ways too”….then they are confused when people don’t like that

Title	Men erroneously confuse being confident with being an asshole with the whole nice guy/asshole dichotomy and women
Author	EsotericRonin
Upvotes	37
Comments	304
Date	January 26, 2024 7:01 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1abcfjb/men_erroneously_confuse_being_confident_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-erroneously-confuse-being-confident-with-being.1243833 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243833

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