What is something someone said or told you that make you understand the perspective of the opposite sex better?

Zcuzz · 2022-02-06T22:21:38+00:00

Some dude explained that women need to decompress and will vent at you. Not that they want/need any advice or for you to solve their situation, they just need you to listen and let them get it out of their system. Learning that fact fundamentally changed my interactions with women positively.

LUCKYMAZE · 2022-02-07T03:50:08+00:00

Girl told me: “Girls text first all the time if the guy is good looking” If you’re not getting messages you’re ugly

Commercial_Good_6944 · 2022-02-06T22:09:34+00:00

I think that being lesbian, even if that really sucks most of the time, allowed me to understand both point of view. Like I understand girls that feel scared of men and tend to demonize them and at the same time I can understand men that are upset about girls' selfish behaviour and tend to resent them.

Spacetalks3114 · 2022-02-07T00:11:08+00:00

Biological & cisgendered woman here.

Not sure if this counts, but I moderate my small ugly subreddit and one thing I've learned is insecurity runs rampant in men, they often don't voice it as much as women.

I think in society when people refer to body insecurity it's typical focused on women, but there are heaps of men in my subreddit that struggle with the exact same issues and it really opened my eyes. When I was growing up, I was taught men didn't care about their looks, and my surroundings (from a small farmer town) definitely confirmed that viewpoint. However, now I see how detrimental it is for society to not talk about male body dysmorphia and make it socially unacceptable for men to voice their mental health issues.

The suiciderates are increasing in both sexes, and it's depressing. Many men are committing suicide because of their body dysmorphia. There's an unfortunate trend of women playing "feminism" but really spew male hatred. And those loud minority have been known to tell men they are worthless if they aren't tall or have a huge bank account. It's quite sad, especially since I've met 2 men who have killed themselves over these misguided beliefs.

Another thing I learned about men is: They aren't robots and want romantic love just like women.

Again, I was taught from a young age that men only wanted sex. And since being apart of these spaces, I've really gotten to see how similar men are to women. Because I feel like society often drives a wedge in both sexes by telling us what we should want, not necessarily what we actually want. And for the majority of both sexes, I think we just want a monogamous relationship where we can feel like we are loved and appreciated by our partner.

In short: I've learned men care about their looks just as much as women, and they aren't robots who only want sex.

kingtobiasoliver · 2022-02-06T21:45:12+00:00

Not exactly what someone told me, but something I watched. The Netflix show Big Mouth vastly helped me with understanding both sides by putting their actions into a relatable context. Idk why it was that show in particular that finally got through to me, but yeah.

Archon_Gilbert · 2022-02-06T20:22:13+00:00

I've mentioned it elsewhere, but a girl slept with me because she said I had nice eyebrows.

I learned the reason women have sex with men or reject them more often than not is for goofy and idiosyncratic reasons. It taught me that there isn't really any objective basis for who they choose, therefore there is no objective basis for why they reject, therefore there is no reason to let it affect your ego or make you feel invalidated because it's just that one person's opinion, and at the end of the day who gives a fuck what 1/8,000,000,000 people think of you.

KFC_Fleshlight · 2022-02-06T20:27:25+00:00

I don’t have to worry about my safety when going on dates or my safety whilst being intimate with someone.

I generally don’t need to worry about my safety if I want to approach a woman telling them i’m interested and i don’t need to worry about my safety when telling someone of the opposite sex i’m not interested.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-02-06T20:26:39+00:00

"Sex isn't a big priority, I hate how everyone acts like men are just obsessed with sex above everything else. It's nice, but it isn't everything."

No_Regular1586 · 2022-02-07T15:26:22+00:00

I forgot what it was from, I think it was Bill Burr? "Imagine you're walking around with a box that has 1 million dollars in it, and half the people you interact with on a daily basis are NFL linebackers?" Talking about being a woman. At any moment, some evil fucker could decide not to care about the law or morals and just tackle you and rape you. It's not super likely, but there's always the possibility. There's also the possibility you will get assaulted as a man, but only if you're carrying flashy shit around or you're white in Mexico City or some shit. You don't have a non removable part of you that bigger people want to be inside of all the time. Having a pussy and being hot has it's perks, "life on easy mode", but it does have some disadvantages. It would be very unlikely for me to be raped, cause even though I'm not super strong, I'm not an 120 lb woman. I could overpower the average woman easily, and I'm a fat dork, so imagine all the big burly dudes walking around? It would be like being held down by a gorilla.

lemurianelf · 2022-02-06T23:24:59+00:00

Actually it was someone here on PPD, paraphrase: "men go out every day to earn money, almost as if to war, all we want is a shelter to come back to. Somewhere that can give us a break and respite from the hardships of this fucked up world."

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-06T19:11:48+00:00

TLC making " No Scrubs" but then going bankrupt

None0fYour8usiness · 2022-02-06T23:28:44+00:00

The first was that women are people and I can be the same around them as I am around my male friends.

The second was hypergamy and how deeply drilled into female nature it is.

Willispin · 2022-02-06T19:53:40+00:00

Woman want sex too. They just have a different approach to getting it.

ledatherockband · 2022-02-07T02:17:26+00:00

Don’t try to solve women’s problems. Just empathize and say “damn that sucks.”

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-02-07T02:21:36+00:00

Was told by a Preacher that a hard penis has no conscience.

tiposk · 2022-02-07T02:51:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Stripotle_Grill · 2022-02-07T02:06:57+00:00

"Be a man and pay for dinner."

Five_Decades · 2022-02-07T02:12:36+00:00

As a metaphor for why women are scared of men.

As a guy, imagine a bunch of gay NFL players are into you. They have twice as much muscle as you do, they're 6 inches taller than you and some of them are very sexually aggressive. You know everything they say to you is just designed to get you to agree to having sex with them, and you don't know which ones of them will react badly if you turn them down.

pinoyboy93 · 2022-02-06T21:21:18+00:00

Justifying why men get “divorce raped”. If the man is the bread winner and his wife is a SAHM obviously she’s not going to have any job history and the couple most likely share a bank account. I was totally opposed to the idea of the man losing half his net worth but it makes sense since the job of the wife was to take care of the kids.

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2022-02-06T18:56:43+00:00

I bought into the belief that women want to compete for men. I thought that there was something in the way their brain functioned that thrived off jealousy.

Unsurprisingly I got little sexual attention from women when I had this mindset.

A girl I was with told me about her ex boyfriend and I realized that it wasn’t guys being assholes that made them attractive. It was that they were nice until the girl was attached to them and then they stopped trying and would openly be unfaithful or break up and try to get back together.

That’s the game that you have to run to get laid a lot. I adopted that mindset and my success with women skyrocketed.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-06T20:25:24+00:00

The fact that men get so much validation from sex. It doesn't make it any less idiotic to me, but I do understand the perspective better.

Jakes1967 · 2022-02-06T18:52:41+00:00

Good guys finish last.

AtomicMGTOW · 2022-02-07T00:12:14+00:00

"Every woman must be chosen once." - my dad

thenakedapeforeveer · 2022-02-07T13:50:26+00:00

I can't quote a single statement, but the general emboldening of women on social media (and media in general) has forced me to confront just how poorly most men meet most women's needs.

Emotionally? Their female friends know them better, and can usually show them a better time. Sexually? Don't make me laugh. Financially? Numbers say increasing numbers of women are doing just fine for themselves, thank you very much.

Yes, men can provide validation, but the validation of a sole SO isn't necessarily more profound or enduring than the kinds offered by appreciative work colleagues, the all-girl pack in which they run, or even faceless Instagram followers.

Whether this is because men are hopelessly obtuse, or because women are horrifically complex and mercurial, is beyond my ken. Debate the point to your hearts' content. I'll sit back and eat popcorn.

But the weight of all the testimony I've heard from women regarding the utility of men (or lack thereof) does tend to support one piece of Red Pill wisdom, namely, that working too hard to please a woman is a sucker bet. Not only will you make yourself look desperate, you'll probably get it all wrong anyway.

Pola_Lita · 2022-02-06T18:32:17+00:00

This, this morning:

"Here is the real issue. It is utterly unfair to burden women, whether they are a total stranger at a bar or a some girl whose pussy you've tried to sniff for years, with the expectation that they will validate you as a man. You are throwing a ton of responsibility on them that they don't want to bear and shouldn't have to bear." - u/JacobMoogberg69

This is why lots of men get so mad if you say no to them but have said yes at other times to other men as well as why so many think they're "better than" having a woman as a friend.

baresquad · 2022-02-06T18:20:44+00:00

Anything about rape,sexual assault and/or abuse. I’d be wary of men too if I had to constantly protect myself from that shit

noorofmyeye24 · 2022-02-06T23:13:48+00:00

They, too, get upset if you’re playing the field and will show their insecurities when they find out.

This turned out to be very true. When I was single, I’d never assume that a guy wanted a relationship so I did my thing. I’d have convos about what they wanted and if it wasn’t a relationship I kept on going out and meeting new people. They’d find out and would always end up mad but by then I had already dropped them and talking to someone new. I always put myself first (I’m sure other guys were putting themselves first) which helped me avoid trashy guys. Luckily, I’m not in the dating scene anymore.

caption291 · 2022-02-06T18:45:32+00:00

I think the first time I heard a feminist propose various advantages that women should have in the name of equality.

It made it very clear that women give more value to labels instead of what they represent. If inequality was the popular thing to argue for instead of equality, women would have the same general opinions but would frame them as being pro-inequality.

The label is the only thing that ever changes about female nature.

sarkington · 2022-02-06T18:54:58+00:00

No one has to tell most of us because we use our senses and brain to collect and process real life information

But porn taught me/confirmed what’s really under polite social interactions. Things make so much more sense after you see it

asdf333aza · 2022-02-06T20:08:37+00:00

Female: "ugh I'm so tired of all these thirsty ass guys trying to holler at me! Like I just don't know why they keep messaging"

Also same female: Instagram filled with ass, titties and twerking

bison5595 · 2022-02-06T21:03:33+00:00

What I was taught about dating growing up was a complete lie. You need to be a guy that can lead in a relationship. Also, never listen to anybody who gives the advice just be yourself

AlphaChino-1989 · 2022-02-06T21:58:25+00:00

I went once at a house party my friends were throwing with my then girlfriend, and she spent the entire night talking with this guy, talking to me about how cool this guy was, bringing drinks for them but not me (?), teasing me in front of him, putting me down, siding with him whenever the dude and I had a disagreement. Even the guy noticed this and started to take advantage of it, arguing with me for whatever reasson or mocking me for the most silly shit. She would just laugh, tell me to not be too "sensible". Basically, normal gaslight.

I'm not a socially retarded man so I took the hint really fast and moved on with the night, she didn't like it so started to pick up a fight (in front of the dude of course). Well I said to the guys I was leaving, that I would came back when my girlfriend left the party with her new friend. Boys and girls told me that I was overeacting, that she was just mad, blabla. I flee away.

An hour after guys call me and tell me to come over, that she was "missing" and the guy too. So I went back to the party and had a good night.

Three months after that she's dating the guy and cheating on him with me. Top 3 best sex I've ever had. When I asked her why, she told me he was better than me at being "a boyfriend".

It made me feel awesome. Like a fucking rockstar or a super Chad on steroids or something. I have really good memories of this girl. Not of our relationship though.

MonkeyThrowing · 2022-02-07T00:55:01+00:00

On the first date men are worried she will be fat, women are worried he is a murder.

loke2dabrain · 2022-02-06T22:17:37+00:00

When snoop Dogg said "bitches ain't shit"

I felt that

gjvnq1 · 2022-02-07T03:05:30+00:00

A social media quote that wnet like: Girls actually like nice guys but you probably aren't as nice as you think you are.

jennifersbuddy · 2022-02-07T12:06:02+00:00

The affect it has on a lot of men to see women or other people be automatically afraid of them… crossing the road etc. And how draining and damaging (even dehumanising) it could be to be automatically perceived as a threat because of immutable characteristics That really gave me a new perspective

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Morelike-Borophyll · 2022-02-06T23:13:07+00:00

“You first”

abaxeron · 2022-02-07T12:05:57+00:00

"It was your own fault", variously paraphrased. My mother.

DeJuanBallard · 2022-02-08T14:45:29+00:00

Anyone who tells you their best sex was with a one night stand, is a terrible communicator.

Title	What is something someone said or told you that make you understand the perspective of the opposite sex better?
Author	MisterJose
Upvotes	115
Comments	493
Date	February 6, 2022 6:06 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sm35qz/what_is_something_someone_said_or_told_you_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-something-someone-said-or-told-you-that.1100711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1100711

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