It is hard to be empathic to women's struggles in single motherhood when they have literally all sexual and dating power

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-06-08T16:38:53+00:00

No rants.

lady_ven0m · 2023-06-08T15:22:39+00:00

I don’t care if people have empathy for me or not, I wasn’t going to stay with a cheater. Do you have any idea how many men so easily will “commit” to one woman, have kids with her and then drop her for someone else? It’s more common than you think. My ex husband didn’t even marry his mistress, he got married immediately to the next woman he started dating. He sure moves fast.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-06-08T14:52:38+00:00

You thinking of single moms as a stereotype when realistically any woman from any background can become a single mom. Any man from any background can abandon his children. Some women become single moms after being in a relationship or married for years, sometimes after multiple children planned together. It’s not just women getting pregnant from ons with felons.

It’s not just women who date felons. Not every baby dad of a single mom is a bad boy, most of the time they’re just regular average men. Which is what is being avoided because it’s easier to blame the woman and say she’s the cause of her own suffering rather than realizing that the average man is capable of abandoning his kids, which wouldn’t make him a nice guy ™️.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2023-06-08T15:49:25+00:00

Why do you think all or even most single moms have these traits? Why aren’t you just as critical of the men?

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-06-08T15:20:50+00:00

Who chooses to date men that are in high demand by other women too and therefore unlikely to stay? Women

Who is dating irresponsible men and giving them sex before any guarantee of commitment or exclusivity? Women

Who is dating and giving kids to literal felons? Women

Who is opening legs to men who have children with other women, or men who are married? Women

These are truly bizarre since you are blaming women for men being shitty.

Who has the most options for birth control and abortion? Women

Who courts and government and laws favor if all the previous fails? Women

Perhaps you're not American, but the government and courts in large swaths of the country are working quite diligently to eliminate abortion and I would not be surprised to see BC next on the chopping block.

So, why are men asked often to be empathic to single moms?

Because empathy is offered independently of how easily someone can get laid. It is astounding that this needs to be explained to anyone.

AnyIntroduction3288 · 2023-06-08T16:07:56+00:00

Bro. Do you understand that single moms aren’t all running around with felons and married men??? Most of the time, it’s one of these situations:

1) she was married and got divorced. This is exceptionally popular amongst single moms who are older than like 30.

2) she had a long term boyfriend who had a regular job and whatnot and had a surprise pregnancy. Not a felon or affair. They tried to coparent or stay together but for whatever reason it didn’t work. This is especially common amongst single moms who are under like 25 or 30.

bluestjuice · 2023-06-08T13:57:40+00:00

It is possible to be empathetic to single moms without dating them. It’s possible to be empathetic to people who are going through a difficult experience even if they share responsibility in the choices that brought them to that place. Empathy does not require a positive ethical verdict to be rendered, it only requires acknowledgement of mutual humanity and a spirit of goodwill.

obviousredflag · 2023-06-08T16:10:47+00:00

Because women are also sympathetic with single fathers. I can understand that you are angry because your life isn't what you had hoped it would be. But your stance on women will firmly keep you on this path.

the_lazy_orange · 2023-06-08T14:19:12+00:00

I see posts everyday here arguing that women should lower their mating standards, or that women’s standards aren’t high enough. Every single day. So which one is it guys? Also, this sounds like blaming the parent who stayed instead of the one who leaves his child.

bifewova234 · 2023-06-08T15:06:09+00:00

Nobody controls the market.

Stunning_Thing4208 · 2023-06-08T15:20:08+00:00

I will be empathetic. I won't go out of my way to piss on a single mom for being a single mom.

But that's it. What else am I supposed to do?

Hoopy223 · 2023-06-08T14:10:47+00:00

I feel sorry for the kids. That’s it.

MarBitt · 2023-06-08T13:54:53+00:00

It makes no sense to treat single mothers as one monolith without exceptions. How are you empathizing with:

Children of single mothers?
To women who gave birth after being raped?
Single mothers who have been widowed?

EulenWatcher · 2023-06-08T13:59:45+00:00

Besides the minority of women who just bought some sperm, the majority of single mothers created their kids with men and both partners actually picked each other to have sex/marry/have kids. Things not working out for the couple is responsibility of both people. Men having less dating options and/or being more desperate doesn't absolve them from the accountability for their kids.

On a side note, I'm not sure that a lot of single mothers actually demand much empathy from men around them. They're generally way too busy raising kids on their own. They're also already more responsible and accountable for their choices when/if they're the active and involved parents. A present parent is more accountable than an absent one.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-06-08T14:12:43+00:00

I would agree, but I feel like you don't know their situation either if you're judging them as a whole.

Like they could've been married, and then their husband died soon after or something which would leave them a single mom when they did nothing wrong. I wouldn't just assume they're all getting pumped and dumped by criminals or are all easily deceived.

Although given that they do have birth control, abortion, probably should've been more aware of who they were sleeping with before they got pregnant, etc. Then I do think if someone is a single mother of their own fault, I have less sympathy for that than if it was circumstances they had less control over.

Regardless, they're a no for me anyway because I wouldn't wanna be with a woman who has kids that aren't mine. But I have nothing against them as people

Antisocialite99 · 2023-06-08T15:28:07+00:00

You've got some points but they're basically stereotyped you've made.

Men lie and say theyll stay. Society in general normalizes sexual relationships with no goal of leading to marriage, even at a young age, and these can lead to pregnancy.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-06-08T15:48:40+00:00

It's really not that hard to have empathy.

It's weird how much y'all hate women for existing.

JulesK00044 · 2023-06-08T16:05:56+00:00

People are indivduals with individual situations. Not all single mum's are the same have the same reasons why etc. Go on a person by person basis rather than pigeon hole everyone

bigapple4am · 2023-06-08T16:26:04+00:00

Is this sub ran by 12 year old boys?

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-06-08T14:00:12+00:00

You don't want to date a single mum, we get it. So don't. And stop complaining.

Justwannaread3 · 2023-06-08T14:31:46+00:00

Why do you blame single women for sleeping with married men, but not blame married men for sleeping with single women?

The married man absolutely knows he is married. The woman might be unaware.

Why do you not feel empathy for a woman who had children with her husband, but then her husband left her for a younger woman? Or a divorced mother whose left her husband because of emotional abuse to their kids?

gofigure62 · 2023-06-08T14:14:36+00:00

I don't have empathy or sympathy for people who engage in consensual sex and are then left with the burden of bearing children and/or raising children.

It's 2023 anyone that doesn't have a learning disability should know where babies come from. Most of these people don't complain when they're fucking, so I don't want to hear them whine and cry about unwanted parenthood after the fact. Most of these people don't even use contraceptives and they fail to learn about the contraceptives that they may use.

I didn't want children. I never fucked a dude who refused to use condoms or refused to keep condoms on during sex. I fought for years to get medically sterilized before I actually found a doctor to preform the surgery. I never had an "Accident". Never got pregnant and never had an "oops" baby.

Single mothers that don't want their children need to start abandoning these bastards to the street or state. Stop taking on unwanted responsibility and bitching about it.

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-06-08T14:35:29+00:00

Women having responsibility for dating bad men? No way, you're pulling my leg.

KirthWGersen · 2023-06-08T15:42:48+00:00

Why can't you simply separate these different things?

A billionaire whose mother just died is both a billionaire (lucky person) and a mourning human being (deserving of empathy) just like anyone else.

I once lived in a country during election time when a party leaders' child died. The other parties suspended campaigning for a day. Your opponent is still a human being deserving of empathy and basic human decency.

So you can envy women all you like for whatever advantages you think they may have, and empathise with their struggles in life.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2023-06-08T15:46:04+00:00

Men should vet the women they stick their dicks in and women should vet who they open their legs to.

anonymous375555 · 2023-06-08T16:07:22+00:00

Just ban divorce and force parents to get married

1Here4Bach · 2023-06-08T16:27:45+00:00

If you want to see what males would do if they have thousands of option look no further than male celebrities. Male celebrities constanly choose women who gold dig, cheat or abuse even though they have options to marry good women. Look a Jeff Bezos. He left his wife to marry some gold digger who is still probably fucking her ex husband and he’s completely chosen to be oblivious about it.

Males like to feel their superior in picking partners when reality shows their just as shit as some women are.

chatterfly · 2023-06-08T16:34:58+00:00

Okay so the whole tone and choice of words imply that you hold very objectifying views of women. Women don't "open their legs". Also women aren't holding annual meetings for the so-called "control of the sexual market". If you personally want to see sexual intercourse as some type of good that is traded, that is on you. But to impose this world view on everyone else is not gonna help you in any way.

I can tell you that there are lots of women (and men) who don't see sexual intercourse as some type of good. Who don't perceive relationships as basically an subscription to sexual intercourse. Many perceive sexual intercourse as expression and articulation of intimacy, trust and love.

If you want to date and have sex with women, you need to find a woman who holds the same world view like you. I've never met one in real life. Women (and men) I personally know don't want to be treated as objects....

Kero_9 · 2023-06-08T16:39:25+00:00

Ohh they didn’t choose me so they deserve what happened to them lol

Dude nobody is invincible from cheating or getting dumped , people change consistently and even if you choose you partner carefully you can end up in brutal situation

I emphasize with any person getting dumped by his/her partner no matter the gender , and i imagine being left to rise the baby alone is just a burden that you don’t deserve to do it solo let alone the emotional damage and kids deserve both parents too

y2kjanelle · 2023-06-08T17:34:44+00:00

I honestly don’t want to hear any more rants about single mothers on this sub until 50 or more posts are put out ridiculing, humiliating, and significantly disparaging single fathers and shitty men who abandon their children twice as hard as single mothers who simply chose wrong under false pretenses.

And baby mama culture of getting pregnant outside of marriage by multiple men is less common than the norm of couples who get together have a child and don’t work out once. Stop claiming all women are the same.

Men need to be held accountable and humiliated to the same degree as women are in this aspect. Only then will their opinions on single parents ever hold any meaning.

The gender that overwhelmingly abandons their families and children must have a lot of audacity putting even a sliver of blame on the one that raises their damn kids.

But that’s just my opinion. And if men have less options they should be doing everything in their power EVERYTHING to keep their families together.

They aren’t which tells me men must be lying about their options or actually want to be single and pretty much sexless if this is such a big issue and men are leaving women with no care.

Pick a narrative.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-06-08T15:36:17+00:00

You should be empathetic to the children, if not to the mother. That doesn't mean you need to date the mom. Just don't be an asshole. I know that is difficult for many of you. You don't what led to her being a single mom or what led to her kid being without an intact family. You don't know what struggles other people go through.

I was a single mom due to divorce. A little after her 2nd birthday, he manifested with bipolar, stopped going to work, and started using hard drugs. So I collected my kid and our belongings and we left. I did not ask for child support, alimony, or assets to speak of. Just custody. 100% would divorce him again. I don't care if you are empathetic to me, because I am proud of the job I did on my own and of the kid that I raised.

Novadina · 2023-06-08T14:34:34+00:00

Who has all full control on the sexual market? Women

Huh? Are you saying women are raping men or the men have zero control of where they put their dick?

Who chooses to date men that are in high demand by other women too and therefore unlikely to stay? Women

And who chooses to fuck these women? Are the women fucking themselves? Are they forcing a man? Or did a man make a choice to fuck her?

Who is dating irresponsible men and giving them sex before any guarantee of commitment or exclusivity? Women

And who exactly is is forcing those men to fuck women with no guarantee of commitment or exclusivity? And do these have no ability to care for children they make?

Who is dating and giving kids to literal felons? Women

You think men don’t date or impregnate felons??

Who is opening legs to men who have children with other women, or men who are married? Women

And who has sex with women who have children by other men? Men never do that?

Who has the most options for birth control and abortion? Women

And how much does that cost compared to the cost of men’s options? Who has the cheapest option to prevent pregnancy?

Who courts and government and laws favor if all the previous fails? Women

Average child support is $200/mo, much less than the average cost of having custody of a child.

Who society defends when SHTF? Women

I’m not sure what you mean by “society defends”, but lots of people really hate single moms, there is tons of blame to them, like that they cause criminals, that it’s their fault men left them, etc. What do you see against the men who are just as responsible for single moms as women are? What defense of women are you talking about?

Women say that both the man and the woman have to agree on sex, but again, women have most power in this transaction.

Are you saying the man has little power to say no? Do you think most sex is a woman raping a man??

A fat ugly women have as much sexual power as an average guy.

What is “sexual power” exactly? I am confused. So women have this magical power… and it somehow makes men not have a choice whether to agree to sex???? Do you think women are putting some kind of spell on men?

Women have more options to pick

So? So they have lots of men to fuck, that would make them more likely to have an accidental pregnancy I guess? But what does this have to do with your empathy for them? You are jealous they can have lots of sex so you have less empathy?

women have more social and state support

Only because they usually have custody of children, because men don’t want it.

yet they still find a way to lose

Ok so your claim is gthere are women out there raping men left and right, and choosing bad men to rape, like criminals and men who fuck other women also. And so you don’t see why you should feel empathy for these women with magical charm spells taking advantage of those poor powerless men? Sure, I can see why you shouldn’t have empathy for that, and this power women have does sound scary. Do you have any evidence for men having no ability to say no to sex with these women?

So, why are men asked often to be empathic to single moms?

I think all humans should try to have empathy for others. There is no point in hating other people because they have different life circumstances than you. You don’t know that all single moms used a charm spell to rape a felon who has children with other women. So why assume that? Why not have empathy for the fact maybe some situations might be not how your imagination has it? Some single moms were married to a man they thought was great, and then he abandoned the family. Some single moms were raped, not doing the raping. Some single moms had kids with a non felon. Some single moms used birth control and it failed. Some single moms didn’t have an abortion because the man agreed to help care for the child, then he left when it was too late. Some single moms couldn’t afford an abortion, since it’s $800 and they were just a teenager making minimum wage. There’s a million and one scenarios people have, and lots will not fit your imagined scenario. So you could still have no empathy for all the women rapists you imagined, while having empathy for the non rapists.

I think the idea is to shame men into raising kids that are not his, or not leaving those women, even when in most cases women are the ones that initiate divorces.

We actually don’t know who “initiates divorces” - we know who files them. I know a woman who filed for divorce after her husband left her and the kids, he moved out and left the state even. He wasn’t paying any bills or doing any parenting. So she filed for divorce, so she could sue for child support and get government assistance. Does that mean she initiated the divorce? No, moving out seems to be initiating it to me.

As usual, it is just about moving wealth from producing men to women and irresponsible men’s kids.

I mean, society collects wealth from producing people and spends some of it on non producing people like children. I think wealthy people are keeping most of this wealth when it passes through them though, single moms are not the ones benefitting from it the most.

zyex12 · 2023-06-08T14:26:13+00:00

First off this post comes off with incel vibes. Second it’s not hard to be empathetic when a lot of single mothers just sometimes get done dirty. Yea people should dare smarter people but sometimes people make mistakes guys do it all the time with girls who cheat on them or are just gold diggers there’s bad guys and girls and both parties can be done dirty by the other sex. Plus it’s easier for the guy to leave then the mother to leave a child. Gosh but if only women could fuck the nice guys like me and not the jerks and school bullies is what this post sounds like.

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-06-08T13:59:05+00:00

Ahh yes blame women for a society completely constructed by men lmao

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-06-08T14:17:53+00:00

It is hard to be empathic to women's struggles in single motherhood when they have literally all sexual and dating power

Who has all full control on the sexual market? Women

Disagree. Some women do and so do some men. "Full control" is a complete lie. IME women find dating pretty dang hard too.

Who chooses to date men that are in high demand by other women too and therefore unlikely to stay? Women

Why are these men unlikely to stay? Just because they're in high demand? Poor excuse.

Who is dating irresponsible men and giving them sex before any guarantee of commitment or exclusivity? Women

Who has literal 800$ courses by multiple content creators and "dating experts" promising to teach men how to basically manipulate women into bed?

Who is dating and giving kids to literal felons? Women

Who are the literal felons?

Who is opening legs to men who have children with other women, or men who are married? Women

Who is cheating on their wives? What ideology claims men should be allowed to cheat with multiple people despite being partnered? TRP.

Who teaches men to go after younger women 18-22 who's decision-making part of their brain is not yet fully formed? The manosphere.

Who has the most options for birth control and abortion? Women

You have condoms, pull out and the ability to wait until marriage too.

Who courts and government and laws favor if all the previous fails? Women

Like 80-90% of child custody battles are fought outside of court.

Who society defends when SHTF? Women

Depends which part of "society". Single mother-hating is pretty common on the internet. All the teens I know that go pregnant young were pretty much looked down upon by family, councils, school, potential employers. The defense is more so for the child and whoever is looking after that child.

So, why are men asked often to be empathic to single moms?

Because sometimes shit happens and raising a child on your own is hard. Being nasty to single mothers is only going to make it harder on them and the children.

itdoesnotmatterlolol · 2023-06-08T13:55:17+00:00

Female nature is to never take accountability. They will always use manipulative tactics to make them feel better about their choices. They are conditioned from a young age to act helpless and receive support. Men and simps enable this behaviour though.

totallyworkinghere · 2023-06-08T14:03:20+00:00

Who has all full control on the sexual market?

Just because you can't get laid doesn't mean all women have all the power.

Who chooses to date men that are in high demand by other women too and therefore unlikely to stay?

Normal people don't dump their partners just because they have other options.

Who is dating irresponsible men and giving them sex before any guarantee of commitment or exclusivity?

And yet you're admitting right there the men are also irresponsible.

Who is dating and giving kids to literal felons?

You can't judge a person based solely on their criminal record. The justice system is flawed.

Who is opening legs to men who have children with other women, or men who are married?

Why aren't men responsible here? Shouldn't the married man not fuck someone else?

Who has the most options for birth control and abortion?

Did you know a male birth control pill exists? It won't get approved for general use because it makes men feel too emotional. Boo fucking hoo. As for abortion, men have more rights to remove unwanted parasites from their bodies than women do.

Who courts and government and laws favor if all the previous fails?

Unless she was somehow "asking for it" by wearing the wrong clothing, being in the wrong place, or simply existing while being female.

So, why are men asked often to be empathic to single moms?

Because being a single parent is a struggle regardless of gender. Your apparent hatred of women is unrelated.

Carloverguy20 · 2023-06-08T14:43:42+00:00

You are a fool for making this post, The majority of women have lost their rights to abortion in the USA. Women are held to a higher standard in society and have been held to a higher standard for years. Go on any internet place as a woman and you have people criticizing you for simply existing. Some of you here need a reality check. The majority of single mothers are not asking men to raise their kids at all, idk where you are getting this from. The average man, can get any woman if he was serious enough.

KayRay1994 · 2023-06-08T14:09:19+00:00

you’re right, they should’ve let nice guys like us hit it

DerayRevan · 2023-06-08T13:57:56+00:00

I would advocate not feeling empathic for anyone but yourself

But nah l can't be empathic towards single mothers

Just like how society is not empathic towards single fathers

It's even more of a red flag when single mothers themselves expect empathy from you

You can't negotiate around this but l know my gender and their desperation to date anything for the possibility of sex

shmupsy · 2023-06-08T14:36:37+00:00

i thought having empathy for single moms was another discarded talking point of a bygone political era

Active-Razzmatazz-86 · 2023-06-08T15:27:08+00:00

Imagine having this much power and still failing

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DueGuest665 · 2023-06-08T15:48:22+00:00

One does not equal the other.

ireallyloveoats · 2023-06-08T16:06:59+00:00

These are the discussions the world needs to be having. But accountability and modern women seem to not go well together.

oooo020201lfl · 2023-06-08T16:17:57+00:00

Why waste the mental energy on being “empathetic”.

Do I think single moms are all bad people, no

Am I going to date one? No

Freethinker312 · 2023-06-08T17:49:52+00:00

Who is opening legs to men who have children with other women, or men who are married? Women

So what happens to those "other women" or the wives of those men? If they become single mothers because their husbands cheated on them, you still blame them for being a single mother, while ignoring the husbands responsibility?

candysipper · 2023-06-08T18:36:35+00:00

I was with my ex husband for 3 years (happily, never questioned his faithfulness) before we got married. Less than 5 years later, when I’m pregnant with our son, I found out about his cheating. Not a fucking chance I was staying!! So at 6 months pregnant I moved 1800 miles away to a new city, new job and after never having a partner during my pregnancy, I began taking care of a newborn by myself as well. My son is 9 now and his dad sees him a couple hours a week for dinner. My being a single mom was hardly my fault. Thank God good men don’t think like this!! Only the losers do.

TastelessMoe · 2023-06-08T14:45:58+00:00

A fat ugly women have as much sexual power as an average guy

A "fat ugly" woman has more power than a male super model.

Outside of a few exceptions, there's literally no reason to feel bad for single mothers. Their conditions are based on their choices

FuckTheGSWarriors · 2023-06-08T16:26:48+00:00

BASED

mcove97 · 2023-06-08T15:02:10+00:00

I agree. If you don't want to be a single mom, you can abort or adopt. There are options. No one is forcing women to be single mothers.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2023-06-08T15:54:28+00:00

Why does it matter if other people are empathetic of single moms? How does it affect you in your personal day to day life?

Title	It is hard to be empathic to women's struggles in single motherhood when they have literally all sexual and dating power
Author	Rude_Macaron2021
Upvotes	59
Comments	449
Date	June 8, 2023 1:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1449tc4/it_is_hard_to_be_empathic_to_womens_struggles_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/it-is-hard-to-be-empathic-to-womens-struggles-in.1221650 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221650

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