EDIT: THis post is NOT, repeat NOT, about the situation where a NiceGuy befriends a woman for the express purpose of later expressing sexual interest. STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT. STOP BRINGING THAT UP. THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT.

SECOND EDIT: I am literally amazed at some of the responses: Some of you are actually saying men owe women continued friendship. That's insane...

In this subthread it was argued that when a man ends a friendship with a woman after he rejects her, he's being emotionally immature. He needs to regulate his emotions and get past it, and continue the friendship because that's what she wants. If he can't or won't do that, he's a douche. Here's the comment.

No, I'm asking for men to develop the emotional maturity and skills to handle the emotions such that they either manage or overcome the discomfort because they value what we've built. And before you think I wouldn't do this myself, I have and it was 100% worth it.

And yes, it's discomfort. It doesn't kill you. And it's easy to let go of provided that you are capable of accepting the reality you're in.

This is all just a display of short term thinking and it's really so sad. And it's exactly why so many of us never take men like this seriously in the first place. I'm so great, but if you can't have me you'd rather throw everything away than learn to manage your emotions knowing they'll disappear and friendship can resume....yeah, not relationship material thinking. You're not in control of yourself and you hurt others because of this. People you claim to care about. And I don't mean short term I didn't get the girl I fancy pain. I mean long term I lost a friend because once again vagina pain.

It can easily become mutually beneficial and enjoyable again. Very quickly. The man can work on having a health self control and self direction while learning to accept reality and enforcing boundaries without going too far.

Emotions aren't math. Luckily, we can control emotions. We do it all the time. Only fools think that suddenly when infatuation is in the picture that goes out the window.

And yes, she said they deserved vilification.

The posts above are the wrong way to think about this.

On the contrary, a man who leaves a friendship after she rejects his sexual advances is demonstrating extreme emotional maturity and skill. He's not getting what he wants, so he's leaving. That is the very height of emotional maturity. And she needs to accept that and not call him out for it.

Women are constantly complaining that men aren't speaking up, men aren't standing up for themselves, men are just sitting back and accepting substandard treatment from women. Here we have a man who's doing exactly what women say he should be doing. He's being very clear about what he wants. Now that it's clear he's not getting what he wants, he's leaving the relationship. That is emotional maturity and relationship skill.

Women aren't entitled to friendship from men. Women aren't entitled to continued friendship. Women aren't entitled to men displaying preprogrammed "acceptable" emotional responses. Women aren't entitled to dictate to men what men should do in any given situation. A woman is not entitled to demand that a man change his emotional responses simply because she wants a continued "friendship". The man cannot get something he wants from the relationship, so he is ending it. Again- peak emotional maturity.

The man isn't getting something he wants. He can't get sexual affection from her simply because he wants it. Well, a woman can't have his friendship simply because she wants it. If he's not getting something he wants, he can leave - and he's not being a douche for doing so. His leaving a relationship where he's not getting what he wants and needs is not douchey, it's not assholish, and it's not antisocial.

It's asserted that the man who leaves "isn't in control of himself". On the contrary - he IS in full control of himself. That's why he's deciding to leave a relationship where he's not going to get what he wants. Women don't hesitate to jettison men who aren't giving them everything they want. Why then should you fault a man for doing the very same thing YOU would do if the tables were turned?

His deciding to leave a relationship where he's not getting what he wants IS being in control of himself. It is agency. It is the very HEIGHT of agency.

He's not required to suppress what he wants merely because a female friend wants something. He's not required to suppress his emotions merely because that would make her happy. Since the woman will not give him what he wants, he doesn't have to jump through her hoops merely because that would give her something she wants.

At bottom, this is about the fact that he won't get what he wants, so he's leaving - which he's entitled to do, without judgment. His leaving is peak emotional maturity- something women constantly demand that men should show. (Then when men show it, women complain about it.)

He also can ghost. People don't like this, but ghosting has become an acceptable way to end a relationship or friendship. It simply is what it is. If he decides to ghost, he is entitled to do so. It's not douchey to do so - especially since the reason he is ghosting is because she rejected his sexual advances. There is nothing more to discuss. Any further discussions will be awkward and uncomfortable. It's best to avoid them, especially since the woman knows damn well why he's no longer around and why she no longer hears from him. There is no reason for the man to explain why he's not around. She doesn't want to hear it anyway, and she already knows why.

And finally, whether we like it or not, ghosting has become socially acceptable, or at least sometimes expected. Women do this all the time to avoid awkward or uncomfortable in person or verbal exchanges. It is completely hypocritical and unacceptable for you to complain when men do this. Ghosting is acceptable now, so you need to accept it when men do it to you.