Why are women very uninterested in dating/sleeping with younger men

Mitchoppertunity · 2024-04-17T22:35:13+00:00

I'm a woman who hooks up with younger men when I'm single. Like, I will approach them and straight up ask to hook up.

Usually they're fun, vibrant, energetic and obviously very handsome. I enjoy having awesome sex with them and then chilling with a beer after. I even enjoy going dancing with them and getting drunken take aways together on my sofa.

HOWEVER, I know these men still have a lot to explore and I know for a fact that commiting to a 32 year old will not benefit them in the long young. They will miss out on life, they will get FOMO and the relationship will inevitably fall apart.

I also don't gel with younger (or older) men in the same way I do with men my own age. I'm an older millennial and I have a millennial sense of humour. I have grown up with certain experiences and I need someone who has had similar experiences so to speak.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-04-17T17:56:23+00:00

I can only speak for myself but the reason was a lack of experience, immaturity, and not wanting to feel like I took advantage of someone.

learn2earn89 · 2024-04-17T17:15:23+00:00

Most women are not looking for a random hookup. You might think she’s there for a hookup because you’re projecting what you specifically are looking for. Being in a relationship with a much younger man is going to be challenging for most women for many reasons.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-04-17T20:23:32+00:00

I'm 32, a 20 y.o. isn't interesting to me romantically. Now, can I still find them attractive? Sure, plenty of handsome 20 y.o. dudes out there, maybe if I was single and looking for a ONS I might consider them. For anything more serious? Nah. Different stages in life and all that, I'm all partied and drama-ed out, I've figured myself out (mostly), I'd want someone who isn't just starting to do that.

And even for hookups...I dunno, I remember talking to two 18 y.o. guys when I was 27 at the bar I frequented. It honestly felt like talking to my 15 y.o. cousin, it was a lot of high energy, blissful ignorance, and an ego the size of Jupiter. Even if I had any interest in either of them, that whole combo just made them look like nothing more than kids to me. No shade on them, me and my friends were the exact same when we were their age but eh, no thanks.

Diamond-Breath · 2024-04-17T18:39:45+00:00

I'd totally sleep with a younger man, but I wouldn't take him seriously as a bf/husband. I prefer someone my own age or max 3-4 years older than me.

Defundisraelnow · 2024-04-17T17:42:59+00:00

Early 20's people look like babies to me now. It's all perspective.

RelativeYak7 · 2024-04-17T17:51:07+00:00

bc with most men at the bar we assume he's likely only interested in sex (which is insulting enough) but with a younger guy the likelihood goes up to 99.99% only interested in sex so it's a turn off.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-04-17T18:05:54+00:00

Woman who is engaged to a younger man here. I met him when I was 28 and he was 25, but we’re actually closer to 4 yrs apart due to our birthdays. He approached me at the bar, he has a beard, so he looked older to me. We hit it off, and as the topic of age came up, I hesitated a bit when he told me his age and was afraid he would think I was too old for him, but decided to give it a go anyway. Mainly because most of the guys who’d been interested after my breakup were also younger, so I figured this may be something I’d have to accept as more men my age and older were taken.

The relatively small age gap has not been an issue at all in our relationship, I was a late bloomer so we’re compatible, and age doesn’t matter nearly as much after 25. My main fear was that he would think I was too old for him, so I think a lot of women probably feel the same way. Many women aren’t after hookups with no chance of going anywhere. Many are also aware that a lot of younger guys want to hook up with someone they might see as a “MILF,” but want to settle down and have a family with someone their own age or younger.

Now when you’re talking about early 20s though, that changes the picture a bit. I would feel creepy with an early 20s man, people that age don’t have much adult life experience and tend to think differently. We have some couple friends in that age group and while we can easily enjoy hanging out, I can’t imagine dating one. They have noticeably less perspective on life and less emotional control, making them seem more like little brothers/sisters sometimes.

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-04-17T20:58:51+00:00

I’ve never been interested in much older or younger men. I prefer to date guys who are within a couple years of my age. I married a guy who is three years younger than me. Statistically speaking, most couples are about the same age. The average age gap of marriages in the US is only 2-3 years.

MistyMaisel · 2024-04-17T18:18:48+00:00

Inexperience

Immaturity

Not wanting to take advantage of that pretty much.

I'm 30, if some 21 year old hits on me, it's flattering, but I see a puppy with big paws. I want good things for him, a bright and happy future full of wonderful things. But that isn't gonna be me for him or him for me. And I'm not into casual sex and if I was, I wouldn't think some 21 year old goose was gonna rock my socks off.

The same was true at 28. It's just different life stages and skill levels. As for why men don't mind, you know, well, my mother said if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all (she didn't actually, but let's pretend) so I'm gonna claim the 5th on that one.

Lilrip1998 · 2024-04-17T19:22:32+00:00

Bc lack of maturity isn’t as attractive to women as it is to men.

Men’s proclivity to pursuing women that are still in school and can’t drink legally is something I side eye.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-04-17T22:53:30+00:00

I don’t find young men attractive or interesting. They have very little life experience, they lack any sort of self awareness about a myriad of topics, they are generally selfish in bed, they have questionable opinions about a lot of things, they lack a certain amount of charisma that only happens with age.

They just don’t do it for me at all.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-04-17T16:56:49+00:00

Inexperience.

Mental_Leek_2806 · 2024-04-17T19:04:44+00:00

Younger guys are worse in bed on average

2024-04-18T05:58:29+00:00

Don’t know. I’m 29 going out with a 24 year old. I prefer handsome guys and younger guys tend to be more handsome

womandatory · 2024-04-18T10:26:30+00:00

It might have something to do with calling women females. Or maybe we just aren’t socialised to be pedos.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-04-18T13:17:32+00:00

20 year old men look like children to me (35)

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-17T16:30:12+00:00

They're usually thinking back to themselves and their peers at that age and how creepy it seemed when older men pursued these relationships with them and the one age gap couple they knew which ended really badly.

apresonly · 2024-04-17T17:53:16+00:00

it feels like taking advantage of someone... the same reason we criticize age gaps in men

consistent behavior lol

EulenWatcher · 2024-04-17T16:23:13+00:00

I'm in my late 20s. I've been married for more than 6 years now, got through education, years of work, relocation, all kinds of stuff. If I had to date right now, I'd prefer to date someone with similar/compatible experience, not someone who's just going through their student years. Plus, younger people have a strong association with puppies. Cute, adorable, but not dateable.

Barneysparky · 2024-04-17T16:04:07+00:00

Women are not attracted to child like features.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-04-17T17:08:21+00:00

Well, I was first worried about practical things if we would understand each other but we kept talking and he "proved" we understand each other and we are on the same level mentaly so it's fine. But at first I was just worried about the number, if we are equals at the same level. But it turns out age is just a number. Alos logicaly younger guys look better and men die earlier, so man should be few years younger to even it out.

hannahg000 · 2024-04-17T18:09:30+00:00

i love dilfs 🩷

2024-04-18T06:25:43+00:00

Mmm, many reasons I think?

Throwing my two cents in, I think it's because generally older men are expected to be more mature. Traditional gender roles would also say that the man protects/provides, and that's less likely to be found in someone that is viewed as immature. Older men are often viewed as more attractive, hence terms like "silver fox" with less terms existing for women. Also, personally, I think the gap between 20s and 30s is more noticeable than 30s and 40s - generally at very different life stages.

Hookups or not, probably still factors into attraction anyway. You might just seem really young. There will be women out there who are fine sleeping with men who are younger than them though.

moody_spiceX · 2024-04-18T16:31:47+00:00

Women want a man that could lead us and we're not confident that a man younger than us is capable of doing so.

Mobile_Nothing_1686 · 2024-04-17T18:43:07+00:00

Because women overthink would be my guess.

Safinated · 2024-04-17T16:14:59+00:00

Because most women do not find exploitation, ignorance and immaturity hot or admirable

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-04-17T16:13:19+00:00

Because women apparently possess and employ more empathy and a sense of community and responsibility.

There is at least one national news item per week of a female teacher acting like a monster with a student, but the male teacher/predators barely make anything except local news because it is so very common.

I'm 28 and can clearly see that some of the freshman at my college are physically attractive, but I have zero desire to corrupt an 18 year old kid and I'm pretty grossed out when one comes after me.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2024-04-17T16:19:59+00:00

We're largely not interested in your puppy dog energy. At 25+ and y'all seem to finally develop some discernment and restraint.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-04-17T16:17:32+00:00

Because young men are like puppies. They can be adorable, full of energy and enthusiasm and fun to play with for a little while in public but if you take them home they’re likely to hump your leg, pee on the floor, destroy things and generally not have a firm grasp of basic manners.

Nobody wants to have to carry around a rolled up newspaper and a bag of scoobie snacks just to keep their date from chasing squirrels 🤷‍♀️

_noneoftheabove · 2024-04-18T16:53:02+00:00

For me, personally, my view on this has changed some as I’ve gotten older. When I was in my 20s, I was mostly looking for a genuine connection and relationship, and felt like I couldn’t get that with guys more than a year or two younger than me because they were too immature. (Mind you, I wasn’t interested in a relationship with men more than a few years older than me either.) My sex drive is higher now in my early 30s. If I were single, I’d probably consider 25 year old dudes for hook ups, but probably nothing more.

hostility_kitty · 2024-04-19T06:40:53+00:00

Younger men don’t have their finances sorted, they lack basic life skills, and they are selfish in bed. Never met a guy in his early 20s who proved me wrong on this.

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Why are women very uninterested in dating/sleeping with younger men

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Hypergamy

Title	Why are women very uninterested in dating/sleeping with younger men
Author	AspiringMogger
Upvotes	76
Comments	340
Date	April 17, 2024 4:01 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1c6dl65/why_are_women_very_uninterested_in_datingsleeping/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-women-very-uninterested-in-datingsleeping.1515444 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515444