Why don't women care about promiscuous slutty men?

attendquoi · 2024-10-10T06:22:39+00:00

Personally I would never have dated a man who has had casual sex. But maybe I'm an outlier

Freethinker312 · 2024-10-10T08:32:30+00:00

I do care about it. I never wanted to be in a relationship with a (former) promiscuous man. I strongly preferred to marry a virgin. (Married now with a man who was indeed a virgin when we got together.)

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-10-10T07:22:33+00:00

I'm genuinely not that interested in judging people I don't know for choices they made when those choices don't impact me or people I care about. If someone asks my opinion, I can share it but if not, they aren't my concern.

If everyone else had to live by my morals and ethics, they wouldn't be sluts. But I don't feel any need for everyone to believe the exact same thing as me or behave only in ways of which I approve.

As long as they are slutting it up with other consenting adults who aren't my partner, i don't see why I would give them or their behavior a second thought.

6teeee9 · 2024-10-10T06:15:46+00:00

i think its because the media is trying to push sex as something that happens to women rather than something men and women do together, so the topic has always been on promiscuous women.

also i saw some women say that they want a guy experienced in bed because they want to feel good and dont want to have to guide a guy on how to do it properly

but this is not all women of course. i dont want a promiscuous man and would highly prefer a virgin

FightMeCthullu · 2024-10-10T06:14:29+00:00

Can’t speak for all women, but what consenting adults do in their private time doesn’t affect me so I don’t really think about it. Provided the sex is safe, sane, consensual, ethical, and legal….its not my business and I don’t care. If someone is cheating on their partner, if they pressure/coerce someone into sex they don’t want, if someone involved is underage…then I care. But someone being promiscuous? Someone just enjoying sex? Good for them.

Reflections445 · 2024-10-10T06:59:01+00:00

Non-promiscuous women generally do care. However, it's been drummed in them that men are naturally polygamous and need to sow their wild oats, and we should be glad they're settling down with us for monogamous relationships. As a result, women will try to ignore the man's past and focus on other selective traits, but the jealousy is still there. It's very common for women to make a big deal about the exes, or needing reassurance that they're better in bed than the ex, that he loves her more than his ex, etc.

I know a couple of friends that went to therapy to deal with retroactieve jealousy of their boyfriends' exes. It's not uncommon at all.

But this doesn't suit hookup culture and its myths.

EulenWatcher · 2024-10-10T05:51:45+00:00

a) Some women do care about it, as they want to date someone with similar values. They might be less inclined to insult men who do sleep around though.

b) There are some women complaining about fuckboys. It’s not exactly the same, but it’s a similar complaint.

c) Women probably feel less pressure to compete with their partners’ previous partners in bed, so less reasons to worry about it.

d) High n-count people tend to date other high n-count people. Men the most vocal about “sluts” probably have more problems with getting any partners to start with.

badgersonice · 2024-10-10T08:00:00+00:00

why don't women care about slutty men, or men who sleep around a lot (high body count)?

Speak for yourself. I care. I didn’t want to date a slutty dude or a dude with a “high body count”. Men like that don’t share my values and are not compatible with me at all. Hard no.

If he’a just promiscuous, but doesn’t slut shame women and doesn’t have some weird “I don’t date promiscuous women” rule, I don’t consider him a bad person or anything, just incompatible with me. I’d be willing to be (probably distant, realistically) friends with someone like this, just never date.

If he’s one of the dudes who is slutty but only wants to marry (or otherwise commit to) a chaste woman, or if he hates the women they fuck, or if he shows disdain or hatred or insults the women just like himself, then he’s just utterly repulsive and not eligible for friendship either. I prefer to avoid interacting with horrible people as much as possible.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-10-10T11:19:59+00:00

I don’t care what anyone has done before they met me sexually. It’s none of my business. I don’t care because they are taking an STI screening anyway.

Same_Comfortable_821 · 2024-10-10T12:03:34+00:00

I have heard women care if she is his last men care if he is her first.

YveisGrey · 2024-10-10T15:21:08+00:00

They do that’s just a RP myth. Studies done on the topic show both men and women prefer those with more than none but less than many sexual partners at least in the West. Having no partner signifies something is wrong with the person or that said person is undesirable and having too many partners is suspicious for cheating or not being serious.

The only difference between men and women was that women were more selective than men. Men were more willing to date women with 0 partners and many partners while women were more selective for men with the ideal amount (2-4). But overall both men and women wanted partners with some experience but not too much.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/darwin-does-dating/202112/how-many-previous-sexual-partners-is-too-many?amp

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-10-10T06:51:54+00:00

Pretty sure some women complain about them, complaints about fuckboys are pretty common. I just don't think women feel the same personal offense about this as (some) men. A lot of dudes act like slutty women are taking away potential dating prospects from them, haven't seen a lot of women act offended that they've got one less mint-condition, still-in-the-box dick to potentially work with. But women do complain about guys who fuck around, mostly because these guys often lie about their intentions or cheat on whoever it is that they're dating at the moment.

S0yslut · 2024-10-10T06:06:38+00:00

Sex positivity is what’s being pushed and people are abandoning religious practices. I’m sure most people would be self aware enough to not be that morally inconsistent.

I’d care but I’m religious. Without religion there is also feelings of insecurity I have regarding those kinds of men because I wouldn’t trust them not to do it to me. So IMO they should care.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-10-10T10:01:48+00:00

Women who care just avoid those men. We see no reason to try to influence or shame the behavior of men that we aren’t interested in, they are just eliminated from the pool of potential partners.

The men who care seem to view the behavior of promiscuous women that they don’t even know as a personal affront and to somehow feel that it’s their business.

anna_alabama · 2024-10-10T11:18:54+00:00

Personally, I cared when it came to choosing my husband. I wanted to be with someone whose values aligned with mine. But as long as you’re not my husband, I don’t care what you do. If you want to sleep with 100 women that’s awesome for you, go for it, you just can’t be my husband.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-10-10T11:33:16+00:00

Personally I do care, I’m just not preoccupied about it. Partly because I already have a partner, but it’s also not something I ever felt the need to spend much time thinking or taking about as a general “issue.” Rather, I’ve always seen it as personal matter, arising only a few times in my life when seeing someone new.

For example, when I was 18 with a grand total of 2 body count including my current boyfriend at the time, and he told me he’d been with over 50 girls and older women. In retrospect I think he was lying because he thought if it impressed other guys it would impress me too, he lied about a lot of things. But it bothered me more than I let on. I felt less special and was worried about stis and if he’d be faithful to me. Didn’t dump him on the spot but it was part of what wore away at my trust.

My partner and I started dating in our late 20s and have shared that we both are still in the single digits, though we don’t feel the need to go into detail. I’d still love him if he had more, but we do value that about each other.

All that being said, I couldn’t care less about strangers sleeping around and have never felt the need to grill someone about their past. It’s just an issue of compatibility, I’ve always been pretty relationship/marriage minded, and I don’t want the fuckboy who suddenly claims he wants to settle down. Once again, I see it as a personal matter, not a societal “issue” or something to obsess over.

apresonly · 2024-10-10T13:00:31+00:00

I do. I’ve never understood women who are okay risking their health to sleep w ran thru men.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2024-10-10T15:19:11+00:00

They do, it's just promiscuous people in general are extremely vocal and like to speak for others. Normal every day men do not like promiscuous women, they never will and no amount of women in their 30's + telling men what they will like is going to change this. It's the EXACT same for normal every day women, just because red pill le BiTcHeZ lOvE sTaTuS guys say promiscuity in men is attractive they mean it's attractive to promiscuous women which is not the norm.

With time everyone comes to understand that red pill guys and radical feminists are different sides of the same coin, trying to impose their mistakes and delusions onto others to continue a cycle of misery. Most people aren't having casual sex, and if the people around you are? move to a place with normal people and make normal friends these people aren't good for you.

Sophiatab · 2024-10-10T19:22:17+00:00

We care. But many of us know that nothing we say or do will change the behavior of the majority of those men, so why waste the time and effort. I have always heard the adage "Don't cast pearls before swine." I think that applies well in this situation. If the promiscuous slutty men that I know as friends ask for my opinions on why their lives are miserable, of course, I would give my opinion that all their sleeping around was the main problem and suggest counseling for sex addiction and finding meaningful ways to interact with other people.

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-10-10T10:42:42+00:00

The difference seems to be that men on ppd seem perpetually enraged that some women have casual sex. Sexually conservative women care that THEIR partners aren’t slutty without really caring or being emotionally invested about other men who are. They just look for men with similar values and move on.

A similar parallel in my mind is mgtow vrs wgtow. I have female friends who haven’t had sex in a decade and have no interest in ever having sex again. They never think about men and sex at all tbh, they have male friends and male colleagues, but otherwise sex with men is not something they even think about anymore. In comparison, women seem to live rent free in the minds of mgtow men. They are like vegans, they can’t wait to tell you in long detail how much they are through with women.

All women just seem to live rent free in the minds of straight men.

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attendquoi · 2024-10-10T12:37:07+00:00

I engaged in casual sex when I was single, so I don't see an issue with it.

Fab_Glam_Obsidiam · 2024-10-10T12:50:25+00:00

It depends. When I was also in my slutty era I did not care at all, because we both knew exactly what we were doing. I don't begrudge anyone for having a slutty past. But now that I'm in a relationship, I'm very content with monogamy. My boyfriend and I know we've both had previous partners (we are both divorced so 🤷🏼‍♀️) and we just don't care. It doesn't affect us.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-10-10T13:38:00+00:00

i just dont care about most people and how they choose to live their lives

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-10-10T14:03:41+00:00

I don't see why I should. All that means is he knows about himself, and I like when my partners are educated and have human experiences.

Queen_BW · 2024-10-10T15:39:31+00:00

Because im a hypocrite

MistyMaisel · 2024-10-10T15:45:45+00:00

Some of it is just being classy and not saying it out loud (agreeableness).

Some of it is being more forgiving of past misadventures so long as the man articulates seeing them as such (agreeableness).

Some of it is simply not believing the man about his body count in the first place.

Some of it is cultural messaging surrounding boys being boys.

I dunno, I can say for myself, I avoided manwhores like the plague and the only way I'd give a dude who went for casual sex a lot a shot was if he seemed to articulate it was a mistake and he'd since cleaned up his act and I believed that. But it does still lightly bother me, I just you know, am an adult who can maintain multiple brain paths at the same time.

I think men bothered by sluttiness are just one track minding it. You can be bothered without letting that influence your decisions and outcomes.

Few_Advertising3430 · 2024-10-10T16:25:35+00:00

I don’t think the number of sexual partners determines one’s character, as long as they are always honest for their intentions, they were not sex addicts and took the sexual health seriously.

ThatBitchA · 2024-10-10T17:09:28+00:00

Generally, other promiscuous people don't care.

And those who do care, just avoid those men.

ILikeBird · 2024-10-10T17:46:16+00:00

It does seem a lot of people on this sub tend to see in black and white. There is almost never going to be a single trait that makes someone date or not date another person (ie. normal people won’t date someone just because they’re tall and normal people won’t refuse to date someone just because they’re short).

While a high body count in both men and women can be a red flag, unless it’s followed by other negative traits the average person is not going to care. However, it usually is followed by negative traits (lying, cheating, ect.).

silverslugs · 2024-10-10T18:16:41+00:00

Most women do care and don’t want to date promiscuous men. They just don’t talk about what they hate as much as men do. ex: There are similar rates of overweight men and women but women don’t complain about fat men nearly as much as men complain about fat women.

Promiscuous (hot) women probably don’t care though, and those are the ones men want to fuck anyways.

Mentathiel · 2024-10-11T00:52:44+00:00

Women are not jealous of their ability to.

They're sometimes resentful if they get rejected or strung along or cheated on by these men, but they do complain in that case.

Otherwise, they don't affect their lives in any way, Idk.

2024-10-11T02:39:08+00:00

Because I don’t care about anybody’s promiscuity 🤷🏼‍♀️

rtfclbhvr · 2024-10-11T04:52:47+00:00

Women DO care. We just don’t publicly shame men for having sex the way men do to women (we only talk shit about them behind their backs). I refer to guys as ran through all the time lol. The more casual sex a person has the less I trust their ability to form a healthy relationship and bond with me, simple as that. Plus when a guy is slutty I usually assume the folllwing: 1) he’s emotionally unstable, 2) he has poor self-control, 3) he lacks sexual discipline.

NervousAd7977 · 2024-10-14T17:45:56+00:00

Mostly because it depends on the women and their preferences tend to vary in this regard “promiscuous women would prefer experienced men while less promiscuous women wouldn’t”. I don’t fancy a playboy but most men can’t be & aren’t playboys so it’s not something to worry abt as much as vise versa lol.

YouHateTheMost · 2024-10-10T08:47:09+00:00

Good question. My presumption is that it's because society has done a fantastic job over many centuries keeping the spotlight of sexual sin on women, with men staying out of the public attention no matter their escapades (if not praised for said escapades). This pretty much conditioned everybody, men and women, to only do chastity checks on women and hold chastity as a metric of only a woman's worth in marriage. We are products of our culture, which goes back centuries, so.

angelbaby933 · 2024-10-10T09:30:44+00:00

I personally wouldn’t date a man who’d had a ton of precious partners and I’d be sceptical of their ability to be monogamous. I’ve only slept with people I’ve been in relationships with, I prefer my partner to have the same approach.

However, because I’m not a fucking weirdo, I don’t work myself into a fury over other peoples sex lives.

Gillionaire25 · 2024-10-10T10:03:23+00:00

I'm sex positive and don't think people get used up for having sex. Men who buy sex, on the other hand, would not be morally compatible with me.

Diamond-Breath · 2024-10-10T07:57:20+00:00

We care, we just don't obsess over it like men do. I don't like to waste my time.

MedusatheProphet · 2024-10-10T10:25:47+00:00

To be fair I do care, but it doesn't impact my life at all, I just won't sleep with a guy like that shrugs. No need to make him feel bad, just isn't a sexual option at all for me, and so what? Plenty of women out there who are cool with it. Good for him. I do question the intelligence of the women that go for these guys though lol

RobynBirhd · 2024-10-10T14:51:36+00:00

If I had known what I now know about my partner before? I would not have said yes.

It’s not just the actions that happen, it’s the thought process of this type of person that is concerning.

Impo, promiscuity is a high indicator of dishonesty/dishonest person.

Title	Why don't women care about promiscuous slutty men?
Author	KentuckyCriedFlickin
Upvotes	2
Comments	338
Date	October 10, 2024 5:45 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1g0bzom/why_dont_women_care_about_promiscuous_slutty_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-dont-women-care-about-promiscuous-slutty-men.1532588 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532588

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