Q4A: Why is desire for young women (legal age or older) singled out and not treated like any other standard?

Freevoulous · 2020-04-28T20:34:10+00:00

this is basically a moot point: if you ARE a guy who can pull this off (say, banging a 20 when you are yourself 35-40)`then most likely you are not the kind of a guy who gets shamed easily or cares about society's rules anyway.

Its not like as if meek, rule-abiding square Betas were slaying college freshman pussy on the regular.

poppy_blu · 2020-04-28T23:05:30+00:00

It’s not wrong. It’s just unrealistic unless you’re HV enough to make her ignore the age difference. Men here get really defensive about it.

MerdeOnTheDanceFloor · 2020-04-28T15:05:00+00:00

Is it singled out? Hey, if that’s your vibe then you do you!

Honestly I just feel pity for the guys I know who routinely hit on younger women. Because it gets delusional. I know a few guys who go for women much younger than them and it always seems to fall apart. The get rejected again and again and again. Or they actually do date and it’s an unhappy, dysfunctional relationship because he’s dating someone who is still working out their emotions and the two are not in the same page. Meanwhile there’s lovely women who are the equivalent age who men won’t like twice at.

I had a long, drunk conversation a while back with a friend of mine (40+) who was trying to win the heart of a bangin’ woman we both knew (25) and I just didn’t know how to explain to him that she didn’t take him seriously. Like she 100% did not see him as a prospect. He was buying her drinks and she was genuinely oblivious to his attention and it was like ‘bro. Please stop’

Pick your battles 🤷🏼‍♀️

psychedelictree_ · 2020-04-28T14:14:53+00:00

Is it about looks or is it about age for these men?

Age is just a number. How can one be attracted to someone's age? That seems like a fetish which could be perceived as creepy/weird.

If a girl looks 23 but is actually 35, does that make her less attractive to these men?

If a girl is 22 but looks 31, does that make her less appealing to these men?

I get the looks thing. On average younger women are better looking than older women. There is nothing wrong with preferring better looking people.

But if it is just about age? Something doesn't seem right about that.

wtknight · 2020-04-28T15:32:44+00:00

It's because it is seen as sexually predatory, even though a college age woman is an adult. Some women don't care though and laugh at the idea that a substantially younger woman would be attracted to an older man for other reasons besides his money.

Courtcase1234 · 2020-04-28T16:26:34+00:00

Okay, let me chime in as someone actually in this situation. I am 27, my boyfriend is 42.

We’ve been together almost a year. The vast majority of the criticism I have received is on the internet, and all of the criticism has been from other women.

My harp-playing, music therapist boyfriend is apparently a manipulative sociopath, and it’s just a matter of time before he ruins me and everything I hold dear.

I am also stupid, according to these women. I must be after him for his money, because there’s no way I’m actually attracted to a “crusty old guy.”

What actually is happening is that he’s fun to talk to. He’s respectful and puts effort into our dates. I’m having the best sex of my life. He supports everything I do, and has never even attempted to control a single thing about me.

Yeah, I understand that age gaps are a yellow flag, and I did my due diligence in our early days to make sure he was a good guy. He is.

NarniaFox · 2020-04-28T14:06:26+00:00

This question pops out every other week and always gets the same answer. Dating someone much younger than you are makes it easier to manipulate your partner. Being interested only in young girls, girls who have only recently become "legal" leaves a feeling that you would date school girls if it was legal.

Anyway, you can date whoever you want as long as it's legal and other people can be as disgusted as you make them. I'm 23 and I got hitted on since school by much older guys. It just creeps me out and the older I get the stronger it creeps me out, as I see how vulnerable young girls are.

bonusfruit · 2020-04-28T16:50:41+00:00

You are describing the feminine imperative. The rational male book tells it plainly and clearly. Women will do their best to reinforce a social environment in which their own sexual strategies are praised and encouraged while men's are shamed and suppressed. Whatever rationalizations needed will be used.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-04-28T21:55:22+00:00

Why wouldn't a 44 year old man be attracted to a fit and healthy woman his age (or 5 years younger)? They exist, but they often have high standards and are probably high maintenance. When an older man goes after an 18 year old I find it creepy, and it tells me he may be immature, may not have what it takes to court a woman his age, and/or is only interested in sex. Like a fetish. Same goes for old women going after young men, cougars are a predatory and its very predatory to go after people much MUCH younger than you.

How about all these 25 year olds talking to 14 year olds... gross.

HohmannTransfer · 2020-04-28T16:58:11+00:00

Why does this sub even exist? Why bother trying to debate anyone on this? Complete waste of time.

This has turned into a complete double standard (first time for that, right?). If a younger man sleeps with a milf then it's fine and she's empowered, but if the roles are reversed then it's creepy? GTFO. If you're a middle aged man and can date college aged women then knock yourself out. As long as it's legal and isn't abusive then it's fine.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-04-28T14:19:30+00:00

Because everyone (especially older women) wants to protect young women.

mindsanitizer · 2020-04-28T13:50:33+00:00

If you're not breaking the law, doesn't it make sense to pursue what you're truly attracted to.

Yeah. But people get shamed for doing what makes sense for them all the time, especially if they're really good at it. Billionaires etc.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-04-28T17:25:17+00:00

Because women want to pretend they’re adults without having any responsibility of being an adult.

iammybiggestenemy · 2020-04-28T21:01:15+00:00

if she’s only attractive to you because she is younger than you will you dump her when she gets old and get a new one? it’s different from women dating tall men cause those tall men don’t shrink and become short

heretoaskstuff2 · 2020-04-28T23:10:57+00:00

Life arenas and sexual arenas. If 2 people are on different levels in terms of experience and maturity, it won't be a lasting relationship.. unless there's a genuine desire to be together from both parties.

The reason the pairing is looked down upon is because the girl seems more vulnerable and it looks like she's been taking advantage of. Even if she's a legal adult, she still has a lot more maturing to do and years to live through before trying to settle. An older man trying to date younger girls indicates that

1) he can't find people his own age i.e. made no lasting relationships in his youth

2) he may be trying to date a girl his daughter's age or close to a friend's daughter's age.. you gotta admit that's off. If I had a 21yo kid and my friend started dating her classmate/batchmate/ someone else in the same age range, it'd be creepy af. It'd just look predatory.

3) he's immature compared to his peers/peaked in high school/ is trying to act young again. Basically the guy hasn't taken to the idea of aging with dignity and maturity

TomahawkSuppository · 2020-04-28T15:20:33+00:00

Because women want to wholly dictate terms of how the sexual marketplace works. Over the hill women shame men for not dating them. Fat women shame men for liking women who are not fat. Single mothers shame men for not wanting to date them. Women dismiss any preference men have as superficial and immature. Yet these same women will demand that men be above 6’ tall or have cocks the size of a horse, even though those are attributes that cannot be selected or changed. But you cannot dare have preferences because it’s silly. According to her you just need to worship the fact that she has a pussy. They are confused by men who push back and don’t worship them because they are told all their life that men just want pussy and there are enough thirsty simp men who will validate her ego.

ILikeToArgueALot · 2020-04-28T14:44:41+00:00

Because women don't care about double standards. They only care about what affects THEM

If you liking a younger woman affects her she will get angry.

Thats as far as most women think. If it makes her mad, then thats it. Who cares if its logical, its how she feels

X-MrDude-X · 2020-04-28T15:07:07+00:00

While everyone is attracted to certain things, I don’t think you should ever shame anyone unless they are doing something wrong, either illegal or dangerous.

If you want someone who is younger than you, and it is legal and safe, and you both want it, there should be no reason why you should be shamed for that.

gaydeath1983 · 2020-04-28T16:38:10+00:00

Devil's advocate:

I think a lot of older guys don't realize or are even shocked/offended that almost all 19 year olds want guys their age, and are considerably less attracted or totally turned off by guys our age(s). Like 30-35+ or hell even 27 can seem creepy if you're 20 especially like in college and only around people your age in social circles.

I understand it hurts to feel old or to get rejected or excluded but they have a right to be attracted or not attracted to anyone they damn well want. Besides we've all heard or experienced an older dude being creepy or too forward with young women, so we get more scared for their safety. (Obviously plenty of 30+ guys aren't creepy, and it's not like young men aren't sometimes creeps too, but it's often more forward and commonplace for middle aged guys to harass college girls.)

I do think oftentimes some guys are just seeking companionship and aren't being nefarious and it's just ingrained to feel like it's no big deal to be interested in young women, because most of us have an uncle or grandfather who married a woman 10-15 years younger and stayed happily together. Then again it was more acceptable and even expected in those days.

So idk I kinda understand both sides.

asdf333aza · 2020-04-28T19:37:52+00:00

Just older women trying to shame you into behavior that favors them. They have a hard time accepting that there are girls who are prettier than them and younger than them. It's the old model attacking the new model.They know that there is value tied into their beauty. And when they're young they have no problem taking the benefits, but as they age and lose those benefits they get bitter. They're like animals backed into a corner by the natural design of things, so they start to lash out. Men like youth and beauty and women like a men with status, wealth and typically has more experience than they do. Older men and younger women have always been a thing.

Think back to HS and college. Don't you remember the female freshmen girls practically throwing themselves at the males upperclass men. Especially the ones who were cool and had cars. And the girls in the same class as the upper class males were dating guys their own age or older themselves. The upper-class men males likes it and the freshmen females likes it too. (Sadly boys their own age frequently overlooked, but they get their turn eventually). And then there was always the few females who were jealous of the upperclass men dating a freshman. So they would try to shame the freshmen by calling her a slut or easy or shame the guy by saying he can't get someone his own age. It's all just a shame tactic to put themselves and their friends in a better position, where the men from their ag group have to pursue them and bend to their demands instead of going for another girl who is probably prettier and not as damaged or bitchy.

As they aged out of high school and college it's the same practice, but worse cause now the females looks are fading, some of their friends are getting married and having kids and they are left there with the biological clock ticking and the wall approaching. And they start to realize they could end up alone, a thought that seemed distant to them in their youth. Men their own age experience that loneliness in their 20s. And men in general are more solidary than the females who crave socialization to validate themselves. So the idea of growing up old and alone doesn't sit well with them. There are tons of articles out there about women in their 30s complaining about not being able to find an "eligible" guy in their age group to settle down with. And the ones who are eligible, know their worth and usually aren't in a hurry to settle down with a women their own age. They might want to hook up with her, but that's about it. They will generally date younger women. The avg age of marriage for men is 30 and the avg age for marriage for female is 28. And this is the smallest that gap has ever been. Your fathers and grandfathers were going after younger ones than that. But the fact still remains that men are dating and marrying younger women than themselves. After age 30, her chances of locking HVM starts to decrease.

I know he is a hyperbole of the situation due to his fame and status, but look at Leonardo DiCaprio. He was desirable guy. He had women lining up to date him. And throught his entire life of being famous he has NEVER DATED A WOMEN OVER THE AGE OF 25. . He is a HVM and has his pic of women. And there are millions of women his own age that would want him, instead he chooses the younger and prettier girl. And society, (mainly females) have noticed this and because it puts them on the back burner, and they have an issue with it. They have repeatedly made articles about him doing dating younger and even made a chart of his dating life, called him creepy and are trying to shame him into dating am older women. As him doing so bring makes a public statement that older women are valuable to HVM. But by him doing the exact opposite it reinforces the idea that men want younger women. He was was 43 dating a 20 year old model. He clearly said fuck their opinions and continued to piss them off by doing what he wanted to do. And women who are aging and approaching the wall take issue with it as it is them losing power in a way. The younger women bagging these HVM don't take issue with it as they get their fun, youth, wealth and a good guy all at once. I know leo is the big fish, but to make it more realistic imagine a 32 year old doctor or lawyer or hotshot stock investors. Guys with status and wealth. Women in their 30s would be eager to date and settle down with successful guys like that, but should these guys refuse and continue dating younger women, that's when the shame tactics of the older female beehive starts to come out.

dalia-chan · 2020-04-28T22:13:47+00:00

Uhh. What can I say? I’m 21 and I don’t find men older than me attractive cause I prefer guys my age. But listen dude, no one is shaming you for being attracted to younger women, you wanna date 18 years olds?? Have at it, but don’t complain if she only wants you for your money, i remember that I used to feel bad for these 40 yo men when they get cucked by their young trophy wives but now I don’t, cause they were just dumb

It’s just delusional to believe that a 20 yo high quality Stacy will choose a 30-40 yo man with all the 20-25 yo high quality chads that she can get, unless you’re rich and her only motive is money, or if she have some major daddy issues. I’m not shaming you, I’m just stating facts.

But in my opinion that whole thing about women loosing value as they age because they will have to compete with younger women is also untrue , cause 20 yo girls and 30 yo women don’t go after the same men. Who cares that a 35 dude would rather pick the 20 yo Stacy, over someone his age? If she won’t choose him, unless he pay for it.

Now if you’re okay with being a meal ticket and date a young gold digger that will consider it a burden to have sex with you, it’s something else 🤷🏼‍♀️

The-Devilz-Advocate · 2020-04-28T13:54:52+00:00

Because shaming is one if not the best weapon women have against men, and therefore in their head it is completely justiffiable to shame men for having a preference while simultaneously having the 666 of preferences:

6 feet

6 figure income

6 pack.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-04-28T14:41:03+00:00

A few reasons.

Women probably see the desire for younger women as exploitative since younger women typically have less experience and therefore they have a higher tendency to be taken advantage of. This is mostly one big assumption though.

The other reason is that older women, of course, don’t want to feel inferior to younger women so it’s easier to shame men for wanting younger women than it is for those women to just look younger.

Edit: guess one of the grannies didn’t like the second reason being given here.

CMOAN_MAYNE · 2020-04-28T22:57:47+00:00

Idk man. I think 6 years is fine, 9 years if they’re both older, but like... if you’re 45 hitting on 20 year olds... that is weird

throwaway64857 · 2020-04-29T00:07:33+00:00

Because being tall doesn't mean that person is easier to manipulate. However being 20 does usually make that person easier to manipulate because very few 20 year olds in 2020 can maintain the same independence as a 30 year old if her partner was to abuse or manipulate her.

ResponsibleCharacter · 2020-04-29T06:15:56+00:00

People don’t call predators creepy and predatory in hopes of them dating women their own age. They call them that because that is what they are. They seek to manipulate and control.

tabbithancube · 2020-04-29T08:06:55+00:00

It's creepy, I'm 18 I don't want some guy who's the same age as my dad. It's also creepy when it's an older woman and younger man.

Nitr0vert · 2020-04-28T13:59:40+00:00

Who gives a fuck. Women know that confident alpha men don't care for the shaming tactics of past their prime 30+ depressed women. And will continue to fuck younger tighter pussy. Most women are probably surprised that men take their complaining so seriously.

It's like a social shit test and y'all are failing.

2020-04-28T14:55:50+00:00

The model of the conversation in this sub, and also IRL is "the battle of the Sexes". So each side blames and shames the other side.

Nothing wrong with men wanting a younger woman, but the other side, the women, will blame/shame/ridicule the entire other side (the men).

And vice-versa.

The solution:

do your thing
break no laws
DGAF
be happy

feraxil · 2020-04-28T16:00:53+00:00

Because women are allowed to have "standards" and "preferences" and men are not.

Innovative_being · 2020-04-28T19:21:20+00:00

The real answer is because the women who whored around in their 20s with the top 20% don’t want to lose the safety net of the bottom 80% (in their age range) who they themselves rejected in favour of more attractive men.

If the bottom 80% of men in their age range decided to go for younger women when the CC riders his age hit the wall at 30, then 80% of the women wouldn’t be able to get a beta buxx husband. This is the real reason OP

FlavFal · 2020-04-28T15:09:47+00:00

People want to protect their loved ones from harm and younger people tend to be more vulnerable.

It's really not that hard to understand.

obsspwgck · 2020-04-28T15:56:12+00:00

[deleted]

Rahim556 · 2020-04-28T15:01:51+00:00

I agree with you. There's double standards and shaming that happens way too much in this specific situation. There is nothing wrong with pursuing, preferring, sleeping with, etc younger women.

2020-04-28T17:28:08+00:00

Because old whores see it as unbeatable competition. Instead of making amends that they are not wife material they have to shame men to date then.

AlissonHarlan · 2020-04-28T16:39:27+00:00

only men says women want tall men, a little bit like ''women like giant cock'' well.... not exactly, at least not true for everybody !
Because from our point of view (F) we see them like the guys who mix love and attraction. or is not able to get women his age because of his bullshit/redflag, or that can't share deep things with people his age because he's not in the same stage in his life (which could, or could not be a red flag)

Bedlamist · 2020-04-28T17:24:54+00:00

It makes more sense for younger women to rent themselves out to older men than to try to buck the usual pattern. Young attractive women quite often think & act like whores anyway, wanting to get things -- dates, gifts, money, marriage, child support, half the equity in a house, whatever -- in exchange for what they were born with. Society just resists recognizing that such relationships are essentially business, as is damn near everything else in a capitalist society.

As for young attractive women, naturally they'll want the best of both worlds: those who bestow largesse upon them and are young & healthy, and so far there've been plenty of those around for them. (Maybe we need another major ground war.) So older men who like 'em young have a hard row to hoe, unless we're well off. The problem I have is that it's hard to find somebody I'll want who honestly display her price tag or rate schedule. Perhaps if she recognizes I only want to rent her for an hour, after which she'd be free to do other things, then how much money I make in general would be less important. (That's really how things are anyway, how else would these rich old bastards keep finding porn stars to pay off?)

And young women who are pretty and prudent can honestly & openly make hay while the sun shines and invest some of it for the future for herself and in her name only. It's only common sense. What would you need a husband for? Up your game while we're still paying attention.

This would require that men not be so damn jealous or possessive. Stop acting like you own her: unless you keep her chained in the basement you're only renting her until either of you decides otherwise. This won't always work with women who refuse to admit the truth: when I was 30 I lost a very hot 19 year old, after 3 months of fucking & cuddling & being friends, because she told me this younger guy with money and a van and good drugs wanted to take her to a concert, after which she'd probably put out for him. I said "It sounds like fun to me, and I can't afford to do that for you, so I hope you have a good time. How long do you think you'll be busy with him? I've got next week totally open." She got very angry with me and actually tried to argue me out of "letting" her go. She got *insulted* by me telling her she's a free person, that I also think of her as a friend and want her to have fun, and that I really won't be jealous of him or think badly of her. Men do it, I did it, why shouldn't she? She stormed away in tears and I never could get in touch with her again.

But then I had 15 years more experience than she did and I had to learn the hard way that there are only so many scripts & patterns to go around. It was simply more likely that if I "forbade" her then she'd have spent the next 4 days/nights finding some way to ditch our relationship so she could with him anyway, whether she admitted it to herself ("consciously") or not ("subconsciously"), after which if it didn't go so well with him I might see her again. So why go through all that aggravation in the meantime? Instead, it's so much easier & more rational to say "go, have fun, then come back to me (I hope)." The probable result was the same anyway, so why not admit the facts? Why get so bent out of shape over something I see as perfectly natural? How do you tell somebody "go with my blessing, because you'd be a fool not to?"

If she meant what she said about why she was coming over to my bed 4 or 5 times a week then I did give her something boys her own age hadn't that she valued specially. Which meant this boy would be a fool for spending all that money and going to all that trouble if the plan was for her to come back to me from the start, unless he was more rational & realistic than I was at his age. And if she was lying, well, I was a fool already. How many fools were there going to be in that situation? Why should I be fool enough to not just ride with it?

Face the facts, admit the truth, and negotiate honestly or at least openly. What's so hard about that? Young women are as much economic agents as anybody else. Stop trying to pretend otherwise.

(There had to be a shorter way to put this. Sorry, guys.)

VixDzn · 2020-04-28T21:24:10+00:00

I mean it depends on how much younger but the lack of life experience will always result in an imbalanced power dynamic and that is what most people find creepy.

ChadThundagaCock · 2020-04-28T21:36:30+00:00

Slow clap

angelicuhh503 · 2020-04-28T21:47:39+00:00

You’re just dating young women for their youth? What are you going to do when a young woman wants to finally get serious with you at some point? Do you expect your desire for youth to fade? Or will you replace her with a new young face? No matter what, men who use young women as sex toys to be put on some magical pedestal, deserves to rot alone.... unless you shell out lots of $$$$$$$$, then eh be a happily ever after lived simp. :)

LLL3peat · 2020-04-28T21:52:24+00:00

Nothing is wrong with it. I as a man like to date a younger woman because she hasn’t become bitter at my age (early 30s) compared to the women my age who just hate all men, want me to pay for everything, and single moms looking for a bail out.

Women bait men as you can’t handle a “real woman” as he doesn’t want her to challenge him to get him to date her. Men like challenges to an extent to “win her over and to prove a point” but he spent time on her.

It’s stupid really. If I like you get women who are fit as I am a fit man, what’s the issue ? I don’t like obese women with kids. My body my choice. She has the same opportunity to say my body my choice and not date those with dad bods or those who are obese.

Physical attraction gets you there, it’s your personality, interests, and hobbies which keep you around.

2020-04-28T22:13:38+00:00

Not really an easy question to answer in my opinion. One idea might be that if your "lower limit" is the age of consent, there's the very real possibility it would be lower (maybe much lower?) if it were legally allowed. Yes, there are guys who would happily fuck a 14 year old if it were legal, but would never say that in public. Obviously not every guy who sets their limit at 18 is like that, but it's easy to make that assumption, especially for women, since the majority of them have experiences of being hit on by fully grown men as young as 12-13 (and horrifyingly enough, even younger in some cases).

2020-04-29T02:33:38+00:00

Just because it boarders pedophilia... Whereas heightism doesnt

Sepean · 2020-04-29T05:26:21+00:00

Because middleaged women have the societal clout to decide what is taboo while short men don’t.

marksimone · 2020-04-29T07:30:14+00:00

the thing is if you wanted to be a relationship purely physical ok but normally younger people are more immature however though if the "younger girl" you want is underage ppl will judge because obviously u r a pedo

camellight123 · 2020-04-29T11:17:58+00:00

If he wants a relationship he has to be honest about it, cause if he just goes limp for over 30s then he knows that when she hits, he has to leave, don't know how many 20 something women would then agree to date him and waste time.

Maturity is a factor in a relationships'equality, maturity is the perpetual growth from child to self actualization, self actualization gives a person power, so regardless of the aesthetic aspect, if you pursue this type of relationship you have to take real steps to address this power imbalance accordingly, otherwise you are doing something irresponsible imo, even if you intentions are honest.

Some rich people look for poorer people specifically so they have all the power, not cause they wanna hurt them, but cause they are afraid of not being the one in control, but if you are ALWAYS in control, you are the one CONTROLLING the other person, which is what makes it predatory.

So just as there are trans chasers, asian chasers, black chasers, there are young women chasers. People who chase don't do it only cause of aesthetics, but for complex mix of stereotype and their own insecurities, and that is bad, really bad for those women who fall for it.

Same for women who like men not cause of aesthetic but for stereotypes about "strong protector men" they are doing something wrong as well, they are putting their partners in a box.

LillthOfBabylon · 2020-04-30T12:41:38+00:00

Because its a DDLG fetish where a guy wants obedient sex slaves. Eapecially guys who chase 18 year olds. That tells me he’d go for teenagers if it was legal.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-04-28T13:54:49+00:00

why pay attention to what people think is "Wrong"?

SaBahRub · 2020-04-28T14:30:39+00:00

Mental/power imbalance

SILENTSAM69 · 2020-04-28T14:06:46+00:00

It angers women who are not younger, and most public outrage is for women.

wateroclock · 2020-04-28T14:23:29+00:00

Women say it's about "manipulation". Men are right exposing that as a cheap excuse. It's all about self interest. Lowering the attractiveness of younger women to be more attractive themselves using shaming as a tool.

Some would say "hey, you'd not want your daughter to date an older man", and I agree. I would both prefer my daughter to date someone her age and my son to date younger if possible. I would want the best for my kids, and because sexes are different, that best differs too.

TheKarmicWoosh2 · 2020-04-28T15:05:18+00:00

We live in a modern environment where millions/billions of opinions will inundate you well beyond dunbar's limit. The solution to this is to ignore 99.9% of all opinions and do what you live, if you have leverage.

People can complain about Leo fucking 25 year olds but guess what, no one actually cares. He's a modern equivalent of a King, and can do what he likes. You can only be shamed if someone has leverage over you.

PenileDeceit · 2020-04-28T19:03:27+00:00

I think it’s also messed up that it’s okay for females to go after younger males (with in the legal range of course) but males can’t date younger females (within the legal age range of course)

diffdedbed · 2020-04-28T19:10:39+00:00

I forgot about this thread.

Here's the deal, if she could be my own daughter? Its creepy.

Its also frowned on because finding some dumb 18 year old woman I could bamboozle with money and experience is predatory.

Nevidimka- · 2020-04-28T18:42:11+00:00

Two things:

The first experience in the , how shall I call it, dating category (?) that women often have is when they're very very young, not sexually interested yet themselves (I'm talking like, 12) and being hit on and chased after by older creepy guys. This often installs a life long disgust for men-who-chase-younger-women, and sometimes even for men in general.
Youth goes away. Women are attracted to traits in men that will stay or be with them for a very long time. Being legal to ~22 lasts, well, 4 years. If a man says he's attracted to that age category he is saying simultanuousy : "I only want here for a few years and then discard her. " I know that on her guys have these theories about muh wifegoggles and how they'll magically get over their teen fetish if she ages, but even if that's true it's not what people hear or think about when you say you're into young girls.

largepaycheckaddict · 2020-04-28T21:02:16+00:00

I see nothing wrong with a man who has no children in his 40s seeking to date women in the 25-30 range. It makes much more sense considering after 30, fertility declines and risk of birth defects rises. It wouldn’t be very wise to attempt having children with a woman the same age as him.

However, if you’re not interested in children it’s kind of silly and makes no sense to be concerned about age. Women who take care of themselves will still look great in her 40s. But ultimately it’s all the preference of the guy.

I can’t believe people are actually concerned with what negative judgements others have about their relationship if they are happy and stable tbh.

harpybitch · 2020-04-28T20:35:23+00:00

here’s the thing. the men here defending this mindset already know that they are predators. they have already decided that young girls are more attractive and more valuable and easier to manipulate than women their age. they have already used their basic understanding of biology to justify their beliefs. there is a man here saying that puberty is the cutoff for him. most girls go through puberty around 11-13. this is pedophilia.

the type of girls who enter relationships with large age gaps are usually not young girls who can think for themselves. they often have trauma, specifically from sexual abuse. ‘mature for her age’ is usually a signifier of sexual abuse. there is nothing a young person can offer you that you cannot find in a person your own age unless you want someone who is more naive than you and will put up with your horrible behaviors and the way you treat them.

young women are NOT more biologically viable. if you were attracted to anything based on biology you would want women with wide hips, body fat, body hair, and fully formed HEALTHY bodies and brains. but men seem to want thin, hairless virgins aged 18-21, or, admittedly, even younger. again, you are telling on yourselves.

what does a predator have to gain from admitting he’s a predator? absolutely nothing, take these arguments with a grain of salt. manipulative people don’t stop at romantic relationships.

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petechamp · 2020-04-28T18:17:39+00:00

Umm... Is this the case at all? It seems a hell of a lot more common to see older men with younger women than the other way round, and it's also pretty widespread that most pop stars, models, actresses etc are women in their 20s, who are generally the most desired women in society.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-04-28T19:57:22+00:00

Why is it wrong for a man to want a younger woman, isn't it like any other standard, such as a woman wanting a tall man?

It is a standard for us men.

daniellederek · 2020-04-28T21:52:43+00:00

It's the one standard women over 30 cannot wiggle past. That and most places in the world an older established gentleman could simply outright purchase a wife less than 4 generations ago. Mant places exist where one still can.

peachycreaam · 2020-04-28T21:53:34+00:00

I dunno, it doesn’t bother me. Some people like to compartmentalize age so much, it’s dumb. Not everyone grows up middle-upper class and does the traditional college girl thing. Some people are parents at 22, some people just grow up differently.

SteveSan82 · 2020-04-28T22:30:10+00:00

Older women are jealous.

FabianStrifeTulip · 2020-04-28T22:52:54+00:00

Let me put it this way: why on earth would you show your desires to other people? Feel free to desire whatever you want but do not expect to get anything. At least not without hard working. Basically it is like a negociation. The more you show you need something, the less people will want to satisfy your need.

MikepGrey · 2020-04-29T01:24:31+00:00

Old women want to shame and guilt trip men into marrying them and their 3 kids from 6 random dudes and handful of incurable stds.

Ignore it, I never have any issues with picking up a young girl but do get grins and winks from the guys around me when I as a 40 year old have a 20 year old on my arm.

MerryVegetableGarden · 2020-04-29T02:58:03+00:00

Because it hurts women’s interests and we can’t have that.

thedeadpill · 2020-04-29T04:22:24+00:00

It's such a stereotype, but, I think it's taboo because of screeching middle-aged women who missed the boat.

Part of it is also that not-younger women are much pickier, and so lots of men are stereotyped as going for younger women when they don't have any other choice. I'm in my late 30s, but, the women who will actually give me the time of day are much younger. Women in their mid-30s to 40s just aren't interested.

If you're not breaking the law, doesn't it make sense to pursue what you're truly attracted to.

I think this is a grey area for me. Brains are still developing past someone's teen years. Dating someone in their early-to-mid 20s when you're much older is perfectly legal, but there's something not quite right about it; they just don't have the same capacity to make life decisions as someone older, and if you're older, you're kind of de facto in the driver's seat.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2020-04-29T10:47:54+00:00

All attempts to declare any kind of aesthetic/appearance preference "shallow" are just opportunistic tactics. Its always non-young women who shame guys for wanting young women, and short men who shame girls for wanting tall men.

An "illegitimate" preference is a "preference on the part of others that lowers your chance of getting what you want."

Everyone is shallow and opportunistic. But instead of accepting it, people try to cast their preferences as reasonable/noble and preferences that work against them as unacceptable.

Zippo-Cat · 2020-04-29T12:55:12+00:00

I sure do hope you're asking this question in order to stir a discussion, not because you don't know the answer.

Women first, children second, men dead last. Combine first two and what do you have?

Sid_Insidious · 2020-04-29T15:25:37+00:00

Male sexual preferences are deemed disgusting, unfair and pervy, if not racist.

Women's sexual preferences are deemed empowering and essential and her divine right. HUGE double standard there.

(It all stems from this "men have power and women don't / victim-oppressor" bullshit lie that feminism is STILL pushing - women and men have equal rights now, but feminists want parity or better numbers, i.e. in STEM, even though females dominate in health care and get 60% or more of uni degrees.)

Also take note: Women can pick through men at their workplace and suffer little or no consequence. A man doing the same thing wouldn't make it to Friday.

edani941 · 2020-04-28T15:39:25+00:00

I think it depends on how much age difference there is. If you've ever hung out with someone much younger, it can be startling the differences between you both developmentally. You're more experienced, typically more confident and secure, more financially stable usually... The older of the two (when it's a sizable enough difference), tends to hold more power. It's why it can come across as predatory.

Also, if you're going for just legal then really, would you be going for younger if that was legal? Slippery slope. I think there's valid reasons why a lot of people find this distasteful and concerning. Height isn't a comparable preference as it has nothing to do with someones potential mental vulnerability.

Im-Unoriginal_ · 2020-04-28T16:33:32+00:00

Because it’s creepy. They are at very different stages in their lives, different maturity levels, etc. it’s easier to manipulate someone much younger than you and in most cases, that’s what they do. Also if your only backing is it’s legal there is something wrong.

Q4A: Why is desire for young women (legal age or older) singled out and not treated like any other standard?

Comments

We live in a society.

Title	Q4A: Why is desire for young women (legal age or older) singled out and not treated like any other standard?
Author	obsspwgck
Upvotes	139
Comments	464
Date	April 28, 2020 1:47 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/g9nhqg/q4a_why_is_desire_for_young_women_legal_age_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4a-why-is-desire-for-young-women-legal-age-or.657375 https://theredarchive.com/post/657375