He just ended things because I was making him wait for sex

TheOGJammies · 2021-03-15T01:57:29+00:00

27 reports and a comment section full of whining on this post about a woman turning somebody down for sex. Get a life, scrotes.

Pasdepromesses · 2021-03-14T17:03:54+00:00

When I was in university, we had mixed housing with shared living rooms (frat and sorority). A couple of the cool guys were talking in one of them when I was cooking so I couldn’t really help eavesdropping. It was about one of their mates who asked the girl he was dating to be his girlfriend and she said yes.

It came up that she made him wait more than 10 dates before they had sex. Most in our frat and sorority were either in very LTR’s or promiscuous. Most LTR came from FWB situations that upgraded, so it wasn’t ‘normal’ to date like that.

They guys spoke about it like they were really surprised, almost if they were in awe and couldn’t really process this. But the undertone was definitely respectful. They didn’t badmouth the guy for waiting and the girl wasn’t talked about much, but all the guys said she was ‘cool’.

Only guys who don’t respect you as a human being will think less of you for having boundaries.

Pornruinedsociety · 2021-03-14T12:54:57+00:00

They don't even value us or see us as human beings, they don't value simply spending time with us or a friendship with us, they just want something from us, usually sex. This is why we should never feel guilty for having standards, boundaries and being ruthless.

Kylie_Fan · 2021-03-14T12:03:38+00:00

Good riddance, when a crap person leaves they do us a favor. They free up space for someone by far better!

Galileo_Spark · 2021-03-14T14:55:07+00:00

It is crazy for men to pressure women for sex like they do so early on, especially when they so often treat her like complete garbage afterwards if she gives in. Don’t fall for it ladies. The 3+ month “rule” is not about chastity due to morality. It is about filtering out losers who are just using you for sex.

_differentmentality_ · 2021-03-14T12:06:12+00:00

Sis just dodged a bullet, well done 👌!

Determinedblonde · 2021-03-14T12:11:22+00:00

I hate how men rush/pressure us for sex, but if you did the reverse by pressuring him for commitment, you’d be “crazy/unstable” and expecting too much.

venomous_g · 2021-03-14T14:35:44+00:00

You set forth a standard, and he quickly revealed his inability to meet it. Good for you, sayonara to him.

Sea_Soil · 2021-03-14T16:38:30+00:00

I don't like it when people say that you are "making" them wait for sex.

Like, you can either respect my boundaries or move on. I'm not "making" you do anything.

Erinelda · 2021-03-14T15:10:39+00:00

This is the type of guy that would have dumped you after sex anyway or have gotten reeeeal lazy (with YOU) until you dumped him because sex is their only mission.

So you got a choice, get "dumped" with your dignity intact by a pouting little boy that feels entitled to women's bodies.. or get used and discarded. The choice I made was to just stop dating all of them because it feels like garbage ha.

cheeksnpeeks · 2021-03-14T11:58:10+00:00

The trash just took itself out

P.S. Now don’t be that raccoon that defends the trash or keeps looking out for that trash

CasperTillyYuki · 2021-03-14T15:43:21+00:00

I’ve been kind of scared about getting into a relationship cause I don’t want some guy to pressure me into sex right away, I have major trust issues. I’m glad I saw this and tbh I kind of felt bad of the idea of making a guy wait

Bloody_Flo · 2021-03-14T14:26:49+00:00

I just wanna say, with my ex, he waited 2 months for us to have sex BC I wasnt ready and never pressured or anything and I was so happy and thought it was such a green flag but things went downhill after. Just because they initially wait doesnt mean there aren't red flags coming still.

Protoetype · 2021-03-14T14:40:41+00:00

Ew, being pressured for sex is such a gross feeling. He probably expects you to chase him and bend to his sexual demands so he doesn't walk away. Psh!

Good job on waiting! One of the best things I ever did for my well being was being extremely choosy with who I slept with. Now go enjoy some chocolate, relax and give yourself an orgasm. We both know that you can give yourself one of those waaay better than he ever could ;)

caligulawillblush · 2021-03-14T12:01:17+00:00

Just out of curiosity - Can you let us know what the text said? Did you explicitly tell him you were waiting 3 months? How could you tell he was being resentful?

Anyway I'm glad he took himself out of the game, you can be on to better things now!

GailaMonster · 2021-03-14T18:42:03+00:00

Wanna know what makes me smile?

If enough women (and the RIGHT women) realize some of the fundamental truths of FDS and decide to be less sexually available, then a man rage-quitting on a girl because "me wantee pussy easy" just resets Mr. Impatient's sex entitlement clock for the next girl, who ALSO won't give it up for some turd with no interest in actually investing in a relationship. If we all suddenly realized FDS worked, LVM would never get laid again!

Read Lysistrata. Women are basically ONE universal sex strike away from getting whatever the fuck we want. We just fail to act as a block. This is why we are harsh and call girls who desperately give too much of themselves to men who aren't recipricating "pickmeishas" - that behavior is a pressure release valve to men needing to level up if they want women. Pickmeishas soothe men's bruised egos to everyone's detriment, depriving men of the (helpful!) lesson that GREAT guys get great girls, while selfish guys who don't work on themselves get nothing. Imagine how amazing society would be if men were only able to access women if they were excellent well-rounded people. Imagine the impac that would have on male culture, on what was valued, on what men worked on, on what types of situations children would be born into, etc. It wasn't possible when men had all the money/power and women had no legal personhood. it's totally possible now, because we can access careers and educations and provide for ourselves.

THIS is why there is so much misrepresentation and shrieking from broader society - even when women write the articles, that is a man's world reacting to the inevitable wave that follows women getting educated and financially empowered. We literally don't need them anymore, so now they are left having to get us to WANT them....and they are horrified at the implications.

Exsqueeze_meh · 2021-03-14T21:53:39+00:00

hahaha what on earth could the scrotes have reason to call you names for?? You don’t want to have sex immediately, end of story. I’m guessing they’re crying that sex is how they get to know you 😂 and withholding sex is manipulative ... because you know, it’s all about them and their needs not yours.

karabnp · 2021-03-14T16:12:21+00:00

Good riddance,🥂 yet, I will say, this is a fine example, the HUGE reason why I just stepped away from dealing with males in any dating sense, in the past few months: everything is just so manipulative. A means to an end, and it’s exhausting.

No thanks. I’ll stay in, drink a glass of wine, and give myself however many GOOD ONES orgasm wise, as at least I’m guaranteed to have them, and don’t have to deal with icky males and their behavior.🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

favoritesound · 2021-03-14T18:07:59+00:00

Lol @ feeling like 1 month is too long to wait to get what he wants. So pathetic it's laughable.

Nearly every woman here has been waiting for over a decade for JUST ONE considerate dude to treat her with the same respect and consideration most girlfriends treat each other with naturally. Some have waited numerous decades.

Yet this guy, after 1 month, gets frustrated to the point where he's observably resentful towards a woman for not wanting to drop her standards and have what would probably be terrible, bland sex.

Then they have the audacity to cry about FDS being misandrists.

They resent us for FAR LESS than we resent them for. They resent us for not debasing ourselves and letting them use our bodies in a matter of a month. Yet if we complain that men have been exploiting women throughout fucking history AND downplaying the inequality and fear we STILL experience in 2021, they throw a hissy fit.

Fucking oblivious idiots.

Gambit12345 · 2021-03-14T13:53:22+00:00

I love to see fds in action. I’m not dating yet, but posts like this are very inspiring to me. Good for cutting that dude off. He probably would’ve been whack anyway

Cool-Fill9819 · 2021-03-14T18:51:10+00:00

Yasss! It's so good to see plenty of women rising above. I actually have a story from a date (I sensed something similar). I am going to share my story here.

Wwwweeeeeeee · 2021-03-14T17:36:58+00:00

CRAZY how just hitting the slow-down button, and deploying the 'no sex until in a monogamous, committed relationship' weeds out the losers who are in the game for belt notches and a quick feel-good, wham, bam, what's your name again?

There's nothing worse than 'hit 'n runs' to destroy your self esteem.

UnashamedWench · 2021-03-14T19:24:55+00:00

Their job in dating us is literally to make us want to be with them and want to have sex with them. It's to show that they are stable, caring, affectionate, respect boundaries, are reliable providers, and if given the chance, will put our pleasure first in bed while respecting our consent or lack thereof. They should be trying to prove themselves as worthy mates.

Instead they show up all shabby at the plumage, squawking, "Sex? Sex? Sex? Me want pussy. Gib pussy? Here's a peanut - sexxxxx?"

And then they storm away in a huff feeling angry at the woman, instead of disappointed in themselves for having failed to appeal to a potential partner.

margot96 · 2021-03-14T12:54:23+00:00

You did good, sis, and I'm so proud of you for not giving in!

yellow_pterodactyl · 2021-03-14T15:50:28+00:00

I dated a guy for about a month. We were super into each other and declared that we were bf/gf. I told him about my past and how scared I was and asked to take it slow.

He scoffed at wanting to wait until we got to know each other more. He told me not to worry about birth control because ‘he’s got that covered and women shouldn’t be taking drugs for men’

Needless it say as much as I was growing to love him... I knew he wasn’t at concerned about me. The breakup sucked. I was hurt that he was more concerned about having sex and not the person who opened up about her history and WHY she was hesitant.

He’s since gone through a few girls and suddenly join up on some of my hobbies.

Only_Lime2520 · 2021-03-14T19:52:44+00:00

Wow I feel queen energy through your post!!

Scrotes are probably mad and downvoting it for this reason. Happy vetting!!!

WestAtmosphere · 2021-03-14T21:25:59+00:00

The world would really turn upside down if all women collectively chose partners like this. But knowing how guys are they’d probably start getting super emotional and violent 😂.

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-03-14T16:06:52+00:00

And I’m sure you didn’t pay for dates or sacrifice a thing during the process either 👑

It’s a win win. Now you have what most women don’t after dating a LVM, her dignity and sense of self respect.

Affectionate-Rush893 · 2021-03-14T21:46:37+00:00

When I was still in college, I briefly dated this one guy. The only two topics of conversation were how fat he thought I was, and when was I gonna have sex with him. I was a virgin at the time and I kept telling him there was no way I was gonna sleep with him so soon, but he kept pushing and pushing. It culminated in him coming to my dorm uninvited, dumping about a dozen condoms on my desk and saying "We're going to have sex now. You say you don't want to, but I know what you want better than you do, and you want to have sex with me". I laughed in his face and kicked him out.

Two days later he sent me a facebook message that basically said he was under the impression that women who are fat and ugly like me have no self esteem, and are therefore so desperate for a man's love and validation that they're willing to do whatever it takes to keep a man. He said that since I wasn't willing to do what he wanted when he wanted, that there was no point in us continuing to date.

How long did we date? 9 days. At least he showed his true colors right away

snowwhite224 · 2021-03-14T21:51:49+00:00

So thankful I’m waiting until marriage. Most of the time that really is all they want. So sad.

dahmerloveszombies · 2021-03-14T23:56:37+00:00

gals, this one is a must-read.

on Twitter yesterday, a woman who works in a fertility clinic told some unbelievable stories. these are couples getting IVF & presumably on the same page about it.

Bellaskywalker1 · 2021-03-15T00:23:14+00:00

Hahaha reminds of a lvm I was talking to earlier this year before I found Fds. He stopped talking to me because I didn’t want to try anal. Sorry I won’t let you rip my asshole up for your pleasure like the pornstars you jerk off to everyday! I should have known he was garbage, he kept saying women treated him so badly. Thank God I found Fds!

starlight_sequence · 2021-03-14T16:44:09+00:00

I dated a guy I had tons of chemistry with for a month before he ghosted me over a very simple assertion of my boundaries (unrelated to sex). He came back about six months later, apologized, and told me part of it was he was feeling frustrated that we hadn't had sex yet as if that was a reasonable excuse, and then had the audacity to ask me to dinner to "make up for it."

I blocked and deleted, of course. Looking back too, I remember once we started making out and he immediately put his hands around my throat. This was pre-FDS so I didn't know why it made me feel so icky, but I'm so glad I never slept with him.

obligitory-throwaway · 2021-03-14T16:30:04+00:00

FDS wasn’t around when I was dating but my best friend gave me the book Why Men Love Bitches which had a similar message. My husband waited four months for us to get to know each other and still continually reassures that I have nothing to feel guilty about if I’m not in the mood. He asks how he could enjoy it if I wasn’t into it.

tinykittenteeths · 2021-03-14T15:42:20+00:00

Ew, and we’re still in a pandemic — he should have been decent ANYWAY but when you think about the situation we’re in wrt a life threatening contagion as well it’s extra gross and selfish. Proud of the way you’ve handled it. 👏

gerded · 2021-03-14T18:42:47+00:00

Well done! 👑

My ex used to pressure me into having sex as often as he wanted. He was getting annoyed whenever I said “no”, each time he threw a tantrum, as if my body was his property. For a long time I really thought that there was something wrong with me...

I am so glad I’ve joined FDS, I feel like I was reborn and probably ready to start getting out there sooner rather than later. Thank you Queens 👑

creativityonly · 2021-03-14T20:51:36+00:00

A man pressuring you for sex is such a HUGE red flag. I was still slightly religious during my previous ex 8 someodd years ago and so obviously sex was a big no-no until marriage. My ex knew this detail about me far before we started dating. (He wasn't religious) All through our relationship though we got into fights because he wanted sex. Thankfully I never caved to him. That would have been a horrible reason to have sex for the first time. After that relationship ended, I stopped being religious and started dating someone else. I still was unsure about sex before marriage but my partner NEVER EVER pressured me. Not even once. I ended up deciding I wanted that intimacy and no longer was religious. That man is my husband now and one of the best people I know. I'm glad I waited for someone who actually respected my choices. NEVER let a partner pressure you into sex.

MonicaLSolis · 2021-03-15T10:09:45+00:00

Never be intimate with a sexually entitled man

idiosyncraticg1 · 2021-03-14T16:41:15+00:00

Good for you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

A month is practically nothing and is the bare minimum that someone should be waiting. If you’re seeing each other once a week, then a month is only 4 dates.

Mindless_Let_6860 · 2021-03-14T14:26:41+00:00

Good riddance !!!! Keep it up, let the trash take itself out !

Watzoo · 2021-03-14T19:20:46+00:00

Queen move, girl. 👑 ✋🏻✋🏻✋🏻

Good job screening the peeps that get time from your one precious life.

qoreilly · 2021-03-14T23:52:42+00:00

I will probably try this, not because I'm against sex on a first date morally, but because I tend to attract assholes. Making them wait for sex with get rid of them.

randowordgenerator · 2021-03-15T02:23:06+00:00

whoomp whoomp muthafuckahs

JesusisKingisLord · 2021-03-15T03:31:18+00:00

Good for you sis! This is a huge victory.

PollyannaPenny · 2021-03-14T17:03:03+00:00

I waited until I was engaged to have sex. I'm so glad I set that boundary. My friends said I was crazy and would only attract fundies and dudes who would cheat behind my back. But I eventually found someone who was worth it!

Stay firm in your boundaries, FDS Ladies!! Its worth it!

will_dog2019 · 2021-03-14T19:13:07+00:00

Guaranteed it would NOT have been great sex anyways.

PrettyPopping · 2021-03-14T14:07:15+00:00

This dog is better than him https://www.cesarsway.com/hachiko-story-hachi/

spicyspa · 2021-03-14T20:22:05+00:00

Cool! He saved you the effort and possible feelings of guilt and misgivings for dumping him first.

dogeatpawworld · 2021-03-15T04:00:09+00:00

I dated a guy who wouldn’t wait a month for sex and I ended up being coerced into sex for years.

A good man will know to wait. Sex is not an entitlement.

currenccy · 2021-03-15T06:02:35+00:00

Yes most men are like that, they want the prize without putting in the work.

alwaysonalongtrip · 2021-03-14T18:48:01+00:00

That tells you everything about what he thinks about women. Congrats on the self-respect!

Lysa3 · 2021-03-14T17:55:17+00:00

Well done!

rubikqbe · 2021-03-14T20:41:17+00:00

Men are pathetic lol

Maingurl · 2021-03-14T17:50:13+00:00

Yes girl! The trash took itself out!

galian84 · 2021-03-15T21:24:40+00:00

Just thinking about the amount of scrotes I met who ghosted me or just flat out ignored me when I wouldn’t sleep with them when they wanted...and some of them didn’t even take me out on a date. The audacity and entitlement is astounding.

I don’t sleep with a guy unless I feel really comfortable with him, and I’ve only slept with boyfriends...except one situationship, but he really did work hard to “get” me and honestly had me believing he wanted a relationship.

RepentingForSins · 2021-03-14T17:29:37+00:00

I'm glad my boyfriend doesn't pressure me for sex. We've been together past the three month rule. He wants to stay as pure as he can and I'm completely fine with that. If he wants sex and can come to me when we are both ready and in the mood for it.

2magikarps · 2021-03-14T19:35:36+00:00

Congratulations! The trash took itself out. Reading the comments here, it's horrifying how men act so... similar. I'm a new recovering pickmeisha and I am so grateful for FDS and posts like these that help me dodge a bullet.

Personal story, my NVM said all the right things like he would respect me and wait for sex, but his actions didn't reflect them at all. Despite saying that he would wait, 1 week in he kept pressuring me to have video sex with him or sext him. Apparently said that "well this is different because I'm not physically there with you. If I was there, then that would come across as rapey". Good thing he lived in another city.

Oh? Glad to hear that my wishes aren't your priority. But also, is it just me or does that statement already come across as a bit rapey...? Guess I dodged a big bullet too because it did not seem like he was going to stop at/be satisfied with just digital sex. You'd "wait" for me if it was physical sex and stonewall me when you don't get video sex. Logical huh. Pickmeisha me refused him but still begged for his friendship (we were friends for 5 months beforehand), and I danced the pickmeisha dance for 2 more months but I decided to dump him once and for all. His "friendship" wasn't worth sticking around for, because it was never there in the first place. Blocked and deleted.

oscine23 · 2021-03-14T19:35:49+00:00

What did you say to him when he broke up with you? I would have laughed hard, in his face or via text.

lovetarie · 2021-03-14T14:11:20+00:00

👑 👑 👑

ciderero · 2021-03-15T19:39:14+00:00

3 months is nothing so if he can't even do that he's not the one. I'll make men wait upwards of 1.5 years lmaoo.

LondonDaPink · 2021-03-14T18:40:56+00:00

Yup, I've been there. You really see how much of a scumbag they are when sex is their only focus after only a month of knowing you. I'm so glad I stopped dating, no more headaches or anger over people who do not care about anything but themselves and their immediate gratification.

desertedstreets · 2021-03-15T07:10:45+00:00

So thankful for the FDS 3 month rule

What should be the frequency of in-person dates during this 3+ month rule? Should it be every other week? So roughly 10 dates in? For e.g. you could be talking to someone but only met them a handful of times and it's been 3 months, would that be considered sufficient time?

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commiefairy · 2021-03-14T23:20:37+00:00

you go girl!! I'm definitely using this method when I get the motivation to start dating again lol

Cultural_Training249 · 2021-03-14T20:44:28+00:00

You did the right thing. We are not just objects to be entertained until we give it up. Congrats on not lowering your standards.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-03-14T22:01:37+00:00

This is the only screenshot I actually want to see. What’d he say exactly?

Title	He just ended things because I was making him wait for sex
Author	Lemon_bars_addiction
Upvotes	2566
Comments	205
Date	March 14, 2021 11:47 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m4tu8z/he_just_ended_things_because_i_was_making_him/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/he-just-ended-things-because-i-was-making-him-wait.751416 https://theredarchive.com/post/751416

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