This is why it’s so important to have financial independence and a career as a woman, so if your partner runs out on you one day, you won’t be blindsided like this poor mother of 3 young kids

miadoing69 · 2021-02-28T01:42:39+00:00

This is why I just can't ever be a fucking housewife. Seriously look at all the shit that could happen once a pathetic bitch ass excuse of husband decides they are no longer interested in you.

She takes care of 3 of his kids 24/7 because she's a stay-at-home parent. Allowing that asshole to find time to build his work experience, be a cheater, and critique his wife physically/mentally. Taking care of 3 kids is no joke and puts a strain on people. She sacrifices herself physically and mentally for a bitch of a husband to turn around pull this shit.

Then men have the nerve to say, “women are way much happier in marriage” get the fuck out of here with that bullshit statistics.

PinkBlair99 · 2021-02-28T01:33:34+00:00

She needs to call a lawyer STAT and bleed this motherfucker dry. No sympathy. I hope his dick falls off.

Exsqueeze_meh · 2021-02-28T02:34:14+00:00

yeah i will never again believe the bullshit sob stories guys spew when they are divorced and/or have kids. Like STFU she ruined her body for you and i bet all you were concerned with was when her vagina was healed so you can have sex again. 🙄

They should take their own advice and keep their pee holes shut if they don’t want the responsibility.

midwesternwinds · 2021-02-28T02:18:01+00:00

I'm not blaming the children here but what's with kids so often idolizing dads, even when they can't be bothered to get involved in their lives? Reminds me of when one of those poor little Watts girls sang a song about daddy being her hero before he murdered them. I know many dads are great people but it's always disappointing to see moms taken for granted and never considered their kids' heroes.

As for this lady I hope she moves on and absolutely thrives. Never gives him the luxury of worrying about him again. He wasted so much of her life for no reason.

Ill_Toe4120 · 2021-02-28T01:54:55+00:00

Well, that’s going to be expensive for him. Half his pension and retirement account, alimony, child support, half of all other assets. Most divorce agreements will put him on the hook for life insurance and college costs.

Sorry bud, you can’t be married to a SAHM for 15 years and just walk away. His new independent, ambitious woman isn’t going to be impressed when he can’t afford even a molten lava cake at Chili’s.

2ndMrsDeWinter · 2021-02-28T02:19:48+00:00

I hope this guy dies of dysentery, what a total waste of skin

Forwardgash · 2021-02-28T03:22:16+00:00

It’s one horrible, hideous thing to blindside your wife of 15 years without ever making a single effort to communicate about your long list of grievances, but it’s another thing entirely to leave your three children without any hesitation for a woman you’ve never lived in the same fucking city/state as and don’t know well enough to bet your future on. Four lives ruined for who knows how long, plus most likely this new woman’s because the baggage of abandonment of the children and an inevitability shitty divorce with a hefty child support payment every month are all gonna be part of this package of garbage he’s bringing to the table. This man doesn’t have the capacity to love anyone but himself.

jargon_explosion · 2021-02-28T04:12:30+00:00

He never wanted children yet has three? So full of shit. Those kids didn't happen by accident. Sounds like he thinks he can just pay her off and walk away and get everything he wants. I hope she gets a lawyer and takes him to the cleaners.

Sage_Planter · 2021-02-28T02:01:50+00:00

Sure, the $15,000 will help, but he's a fool if he thinks he's magically absolved of alimony and child support. This is exactly why those systems are in place.

purasangria · 2021-02-28T03:52:54+00:00

She needs to get a lawyer and get an order for spousal support, and have him served while he's still around. He has to pay her alimony and child support; he can't just waltz on off to Texas and pretend that his wife and kids don't exist. This man is an animal. He doesn't give a shit about her or the kids at all.

PinkBlair99 · 2021-02-28T04:10:22+00:00

Never, ever, EVER depend on a man.

Fiestygirl000 · 2021-02-28T02:05:56+00:00

Yeah I saw that. 15k just to move on after 15 years and having 3 kids.

Do not put your faith in men, they will let you down each and every time

moonlightpuddle · 2021-02-28T03:35:21+00:00

Can we get her on here?? Tell her the steps to protect herself against this life-sucking leech? I say leech because SHE SPENT HER LIFE BIRTHING 3 OF HIS CHILDREN and he has the audacity to walk out on her. Honestly. Seeing stories like these especially hurts since it's so common for men to abandon their wives for their own selfish dicks.

_differentmentality_ · 2021-02-28T01:41:21+00:00

If the new woman believes that he isn’t going to pull the same shit to her in a few years, she’s in for a surprise. She needs to dodge that bullet while she still can (that’s assuming she knows about this whole situation)

penelopesheets · 2021-02-28T03:59:50+00:00

Yeah this is why the "divorce/family court is sexist towards men" narrative is completely false.

AriaLuz · 2021-02-28T02:52:23+00:00

This is so sad.

But this is the main reason I will never be a SAHM. It’s too risky and you can easily be left destitute if he changes his mind.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2021-02-28T03:35:27+00:00

[deleted]

MySonderStory · 2021-02-28T01:29:49+00:00

To summarize, the poster is a SAHM and her husband left her and 3 kids after cheating to be with another woman 8 years younger. What’s shocking is the 5 reasons she lists out as the reasons she felt she wasn’t good enough and why he left.

Take this as a lesson to make sure that you are financially independent and invest in a career for yourself so that you don’t ever need to depend on a man to support your livelihood. There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM either, but if you are make sure you have separate funds that you either build up yourself or have an agreement with your spouse to contribute an allowance. It looks like she prioritized him and made herself a support figure for the family life that she thought he wanted, but he just so easily walked out on.

There is one sentence that absolutely alludes to this when she herself described the woman he left her for, “She has a great career, is independent, doesn’t want kids, and satisfies his sexual needs”. Absolutely disgusted by her husband, this is also why it's so important to vet men before you let them into your life.

princessdiane · 2021-02-28T04:04:48+00:00

I've seen this exact situation play out, these dudes are never unique. He doesn't respect the new woman either. He may have used her accomplishments to devalue his wife, but it just means the new woman will feel the need to prove her independence and fall into the 50/50 trap. Then he will discard her as well when the next younger woman comes along.

AstraeaOfJustice · 2021-02-28T02:05:07+00:00

Men are so heartless.

Bubbly-Risk-3758 · 2021-02-28T02:45:11+00:00

What a worthless piece of shit. I hope he ends up alone and miserable.

purasangria · 2021-02-28T03:57:59+00:00

And Jesus, she's got 3 small kids, how is she supposed to afford child care while she works, you can't leave 3 small kids alone. And the cost of child care for the 3 would likely equal what she brought home. This asshole is not thinking things through. She is very likely to get $1500 a month in kid support, and even that isn't going to cover the house payment. This is heartbreaking.

thewetdog_ · 2021-02-28T04:16:43+00:00

This comment hit me in a way like I hadn’t felt in a while. This is real life. This could be any of us. Financial independence cannot be stressed enough. My souls aches for this poor human being.

The betrayal in all of this just gets worse and worse.

TheDameWithoutASmile · 2021-02-28T04:34:31+00:00

I really, really hope everyone told her to get a fucking lawyer stat.

My guess is he was hoping she'd be too stupid to realize $15K is jack shit compared to what she's actually entitled to and would be so grateful she wouldn't pursue a good divorce attorney.

Divorce courts don't tend to take kindly to dads who just decide not to be dads and fuck off to another state.

honeybeeroll · 2021-02-28T05:34:34+00:00

What a sack of fucking shit. What a scumbag, and absolute vile scumbag. To say he never wanted kids and to blame it all on her because he knows she had low self esteem/always felt his vile ass was better than her. Uggggh I'm so angry. And of course this POS is a firefighter. My former manager was dating a firefighter who was an absolute man child, had no basic life skills cuz mommy always did everything for him, and used to hang out w/ the boys at the firehouse ALL night, multiple nights a week, not even telling her where he was. She stupidly married him and he cheated on her a year in, hid it for months, then ran away from home, then trickle truthed her about it for months until he came clean about just how bad it was. Like a big bombshell reveal just like this fucker.

This poor woman. I feel so, so bad for her. She BETTER get a lawyer immediately, this mf makes well over 6 figures I bet and he's leaving her AND HIS OWN CHILDREN 15K??? Absolute vile scum, take his ass to the cleaners and shoot for full custody, and do not hide from the kids what a sack of shit he is!!!!

gingerwabisabi · 2021-02-28T02:59:19+00:00

Ugh, there is one friend from my childhood that I keep worrying this exact type of situation is going to happen to. We are right at the age now when that sort of high school sweetheart relationship so often blows up. Not even going to get into how heartlessly my dad treated my mom after bleeding her dry of every possible resource. If I never see him again it will be too soon.

glendoraza · 2021-02-28T01:38:15+00:00

Yes absolutely file first and get support for her children. She went to college so that helps too for getting a job I hope. I know unemployment history will make it very tough

PasDeTout · 2021-02-28T05:09:49+00:00

He has drained her of all confidence. A week’s notice of moving out? I don’t think so. He can keep paying the mortgage on the house his children live in and she needs to get the best lawyer in town, paid for by her husband, of course.

It sounds like he’s been planning this for a while and already shifted money out.

Education-Pale · 2021-02-28T06:39:42+00:00

I couldn't finish reading, that whole "average looking Jane" is just him talking. I can only imagine how must've been being with this man. My heart feels for her... 💔

omfgreuben · 2021-02-28T12:20:44+00:00

I'm pretty sure this is any divorce attorney's DREAM

And new woman probably won't want him around once the lawyers are done with him

Mcccy · 2021-02-28T01:45:28+00:00

This story broke my heart, I really really hope she finds a way out of this mess, I can't imagine what's like being trapped in a situation like that

TheFinalGirl_21 · 2021-02-28T02:05:22+00:00

My advice is to give him full custody. That will solve everything.

Summerisle7 · 2021-02-28T04:36:00+00:00

How has she not already seen a lawyer and nailed him for child support and alimony and the house and all the rest of it. Don’t cry on Reddit, girl. Go get what’s yours!

tgxbjjbbno · 2021-02-28T05:11:52+00:00

This is why no matter what, a woman NEEDS to learn about finances and money. She also needs to have secret savings under her name and a stream of income ALONGSIDE what the man gives her(if any.) The man must not know. So when the LVM decides to pull shit like this, she has the option to get a lawyer and gut him.

Naivete/relying on a man for your livelihood with nothing under your name is a dangerous game that unfortunately too many women lose in.

dazzles67 · 2021-02-28T06:55:20+00:00

Feel like women can't win sometimes. Become a housewife (like the post) and get accused of having no ambition. Climb the career ladder and be accused of not devoting enough time and energy towards home and hearth.

AllTheBeanToes · 2021-02-28T10:27:08+00:00

I'm so angry on her behalf but at the same time I feel sad that so many women put themselves voluntarily at the mercy of men like this - for a pipe dream of playing house. Please don't come at me, but I grew up with a mom who fell into this trap twice and I'm sick of it. Women need to wise up to the reality of scrotacity.

Donttellmehow2feel · 2021-02-28T14:15:03+00:00

What's the matter with people who don't really want kids and have 2, 3, 4 of them? Especially men who claim to not like their wife very much, but keep having children with her, like they are plants? Someone's lying here. This woman is entitled to an alimony and child support as a minimum by the way. And there's no "You have to figure out kids on your own somehow". Leave the childcare to him for once.

Babooshka-123 · 2021-02-28T12:01:00+00:00

I can’t believe women I know my age still do this, don’t get themselves educated but just have babies as soon as possible and play housewife. And some of them are so smug about it ‘i don’t have to work’ ‘I couldn’t be a part time mummy’. Girl your life belongs to a man who could change his mind once you get a wrinkle.

the-worst- · 2021-02-28T13:45:54+00:00

Holy fuck as a SAHM this is SCARY. Like WTF? Men just don't fucking care about women if they aren't pretty and can't provide sex.. And why did they have 3 kids if he never wanted them? It takes 2 to make them...

Her and my situations are pretty similar. Only I haven't been with my husband as long and my kids are younger. I have a 1 yo and a 2 yo. I haven't worked in the 5 years we've been together. But we live in a relitively cheep area, and minimum wage is over $10, so it wouldn't be hard to stay where we are if he left. The only problem would be finding childcare for tots durring a pandemic.

... I hope her husband's "new life" crashes and burns. I hope that pick-mesha realises that if she stops working, has kids, does all the house work, and doesn't have the energy for sex... She will probably end up in the same boat as the OP of that post. I hope he comes crawling back to OP only to find out he has no idea where she lives, that when he finds her she and the children hate his guts. That he finds her in a place where she can easily pay for everything she and the children need/want. And that he is utterly RUINED for abandoning his family for lust and nothing else.

Also this is why "communication" doesn't work. He didn't show he had a problem with anything until he was literally packing his bags! She could have asked him everyday "is anything wrong sweetie" and he would have said "no, nothing!" While thinking she's "the worst evar!"

Ugh. What a monster.

Some__Stranger · 2021-02-28T14:43:04+00:00

This is more or less what happened to my mother. Except my mother was a successful career woman and my father was a broke college dropout when they met. He moved in with her after a matter of months, convinced her to go 50/50 on everything, got her pregnant with me, married her, convinced her father to "loan" him money to finance his education and business ventures. Shortly after he graduated from uni he started making more money than my Mom, moved her hundreds of miles away from her family to the suburbs, and convinced her to quit her job and promised to "take care of the family". He then proceeded to cheat on my mom and abuse my brother and I for over a decade, until he randomly announced that he was divorcing my mother, selling the house, and going to "travel the world". And he did exactly that 😐

We had a little less than a month to move out of our house. Luckily my Mom found a much smaller house in a safe area, but we couldn't afford furniture. My father had refused to allow my mother to take any of our beautiful furniture, and decided to gift it to his sister because "he payed for it". So, I spent the first half of my freshmen year of high school sleeping on an old mattress and my brother had an inflatable air bed, until we finally got some cheap stuff at IKEA. We spent the next several years moving from house to house, trying to find cheaper rent to avoid slipping into poverty.

My mother never went after my father for spousal or child support because he threatened to kidnap my brother and I, saying, "you will never see the kids again".

So sadly, this story does not surprise me at all. Although this story might seem crazy, the reality is that things like this happen all the time to real women.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-02-28T07:29:20+00:00

This is why, being a tradwife is not a career! 👏

slight_sapphire · 2021-02-28T05:16:59+00:00

This guy is such a fucking idiot if he thinks $15k will suffice to allow him to walk away free of consequences. The court is not gonna like a father abandoning his 3 children and SAHM-wife to start a new life in another state with his mistress. Leaving his wife who has no work experience in an expensive city during a time when most people are struggling to find work. She’ll be lucky to get a job as a cashier. He’s gonna be broke by the time any decent divorce attorney gets through with him.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2021-02-28T05:21:08+00:00

This is so sad. It sounds like she made herself the supporting character in his life rather than being the leading character in her own life. He used her and now he wants to discard her.

KAT_85 · 2021-02-28T01:48:35+00:00

[removed]

chickenery · 2021-02-28T16:50:21+00:00

I know the bar is absolutely in hell when I read this and thought, “Well, at least he is leaving her and the kids instead of going full family annihilator and killing them all.” Could have been a Chris Watts, but he’s just a standard douchebag. How lucky! /s

BaileyLegend · 2021-02-28T04:12:22+00:00

He’s going to be paying out the ass in child support and alimony. A friend of mine was a stay at home mom for 11 years and finally found the courage to leave her abusive husband, he was set to owe alimony for every year she was a stay a home mom.

She’s better off and will hopefully realize that soon.

Myplummms · 2021-02-28T14:31:11+00:00

You cannot win. If you’re a career woman, he’ll cheat because you were “too busy with work”. If you work at home/are a homemaker, he’ll cheat with someone at the office to stave off boredom/feel like a big shot. It is always the woman’s fault because men have never had to learn to take accountability. I can’t anymore 🤦‍♀️

LikelyWriting · 2021-02-28T03:50:14+00:00

Never rely on a man.

Let me tell y'all about my family. So my father has always been stingy with his money. As a kid, I even knew this because my mother immigrated to this country because of him. She didn't even speak English and ended up working 2-3 jobs while my father was in the Army. How about now he is totally dependent on us and I looked up his Army payment history. The dude literally sat on 50k at one point at a time when our house got destroyed by a tornado. F-ing sickening.

malibooyeah · 2021-02-28T07:02:41+00:00

Men are and always continue to be worthless leeches willing to suck dry the life of the women they've chosen.

My heart breaks for her. I hope she lawyers up and takes him for every penny.

Low_Friendship_2225 · 2021-02-28T07:41:40+00:00

How can you have kids with someone if you don’t want them .... bring to life someone you didn’t want wow ..

jelilikins · 2021-02-28T09:44:38+00:00

He sounds sociopathic, especially in respect of the kids.

I'd like a part 2 of this post where we find out just how much alimony and child support he'll be paying her and how she kept the house. I can hear a chorus of divorce lawyers rubbing their hands together....

I'd also like them to share custody so that she gets regular breaks and can pamper herself, but that seems less likely.

aquietsword · 2021-03-01T08:42:53+00:00

When he can't take care of himself one day, I hope he doesn't expect his kids to visit him or care for him. I have a feeling none of this is going to go the way he thinks, and I hope this woman doesn't take him back when he comes crawling.

AnniaT · 2021-02-28T09:03:02+00:00

But if they're divorcing and he was always the breadwinner then he has to pay child support and alimony.

And what's with these scrotes telling the reasons they're leaving someone (some of them just made up to destroy the self esteem of the woman)? That's not honesty, that's pure cruelty,

Also, she always felt inferior to him, and he fed of it and then threw her away like trash when he didn't need her anymore. Disgusting scrote.

eatchickpeas · 2021-02-28T13:04:31+00:00

i wish abandoning a spouse with children came with some kind of prison sentence honestly. but i can imagine abusive men using that against women who are fleeing domestic violence. this sort of thing has happened to women i know, they go through years in marriage then the men decide they want a younger wife and they just leave their families

NurseBubbleGum · 2021-02-28T13:50:18+00:00

I've said it more than once and I'll say it again. Firefighters are fucking dogs. I literally can't with them.

Dexaroo5716 · 2021-02-28T07:04:30+00:00

God it would be great to send the new woman the messages about how he is dumping his family over his dick. If she’s worth a shit she will realize what a pile of garbage she is about to inherit and bounce.

skyerippa · 2021-02-28T07:13:02+00:00

I hate this man so much. That poor woman is blaming herself for everything when he is such a POS!!!

you never wanted kids?! So why the fuck did you have 3 of them

Winter-Firefly · 2021-03-01T02:20:02+00:00

He's a monster who leeched off her body and heart for more than half her life. He used her to keep his d**k wet while he found someone else and dumped her and their 3 children to the wolves with a measly 15k. He's truly pathetic for abandoning them like that knowing his wife has no job training AND demanding half the money when she sells the house. What an absolute parasite.

ciciplum · 2021-02-28T11:24:40+00:00

Is she getting help? How were the responses?

LeighHolloway44 · 2021-02-28T16:51:06+00:00

When I got a divorce, I had to attend “parenting class” in the county I lived in. There were SO MANY women like this, who never worked, and didn’t have the skills to get themselves a decent job after divorce. Some had kids who were about to leave the house. I was never happier with the choice I made to not leave my career after I got pregnant!

Objective_Ad7771 · 2021-02-28T13:45:21+00:00

Never getting kids or a shared bank account like fuck no.

berned-out · 2021-02-28T15:08:45+00:00

OPPORTUNITY MAKES THE THIEF is a saying that applies here. She started as a child, a teenager, to give herself away.

leonie86 · 2021-02-28T10:39:44+00:00

I wonder if she was able to record of at least have him give her this list in a text/ letter/ email so when she sees a lawyer she can provide some kind of evidence of affair. Whether or not that will help I don’t know but this is such a stressful situation poor thing!!

MariaDolorosa · 2021-02-28T17:34:27+00:00

Also why it is worth considering a prenup, especially if you’re likely to be financially vulnerable in the marriage.

Papaverinum · 2021-02-28T15:45:20+00:00

What a scrote. I'm speechless. I hope karma gets him!

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-02-28T21:46:46+00:00

This is so sad I’m heartbroken for her. What an evil man

Shinygoldendragonfly · 2021-02-28T23:54:30+00:00

[deleted]

haunted_vcr · 2021-03-04T21:13:19+00:00

Ugh yeah honestly only advice I could give her would be to use her money to hire a hitman 🙄 just kidding.

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