Is FemaleDatingStrategy, ironically, conservative?

PM-ME-BIG-TITS9235 · 2021-12-20T18:34:06+00:00

It's "Conservative/traditionalism for thee, but modernity for me"

SylvestorTalone · 2021-12-21T00:48:14+00:00

FDS is basically a hybrid position of traditionalism and modernity. It incorporates all those aspects of conservatism that place responsibilities and restrictions on men and then weds them to the modernist rejection of all equivalent expectations for women.

It's the ''have your cake and eat it too'' position. It's possible to even pull off that strategy, but the thing they don't mention is that in order to do so you're going to have to be one of those incredibly high value women that men lose their minds over. What the sub really is is a bunch of fat hags larping that they have the kind of leverage to just dictate to men how relationships are going to be.

The_Meep_Lord · 2021-12-20T21:00:03+00:00

Id argue a good chunk of women in general are “conservative for thee, but not for me.” The majority still only want traditionally masculine men who are willing to pamper them.

CimZim · 2021-12-20T18:43:51+00:00

Yes. I've always said they were "conservative for thee, but not for me".

Note that this doesn't make them progressive by any means, but rather regressive.

hypnocentrism · 2021-12-20T19:26:12+00:00

Seems more like a mash up between girlboss feminism and conservatism. It's whatever they see as beneficial for women.

morbidnihilism · 2021-12-20T19:45:14+00:00

They want the benefits of conservatism and feminism at the same time

2021-12-20T19:57:23+00:00

Offcourse women which want men like these are all devoted Christian virgins. /s

ohheyhi99 · 2021-12-20T19:57:36+00:00

Yes. Lots of people are conservative when it suits what they want.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-12-20T20:48:40+00:00

I never thought that was a secret, they're the epitome of wanting traditional men but not being traditional themselves

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-12-20T18:41:13+00:00

Perhaps. They don’t sound like they want to sleep around. They want to settle down, but with a guy that would probably never pick them first.

AvatarReiko · 2021-12-20T21:31:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Commercial-Engineer3 · 2021-12-20T22:46:12+00:00

Have these people gone full circle and come back through the conservative side

No it's modern women who want the same benefits that REAL traditional women get from men.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-12-21T02:19:25+00:00

I think some of them are broken, bitter, need a reality check and crazy.

Im all for not dating a man that treats you like crap and has his life together but relationships are a two way street and you do for each other.

I dont believe in shaming people like some of them do. Their scrote crap is annoying and makes them no better constantly calling men scrotes that don't fit them. They are just not for you. Get over yourself.

I dont need to shame a man that doesnt do it for me, I move on. Heck no would I belittle a man because he only makes X or his dick isnt big enough. Its freaking mean and an a hole thing to do.

DeliciousPussyNectar · 2021-12-20T18:42:31+00:00

I always thought that was obvious? FDS is TRP for women.

baresquad · 2021-12-20T19:20:02+00:00

I damn near classify them as an alt-right echo chamber complete with racism, classism, and proponents of capitalistic norms

I could really give a shit less about their anti man agenda or whatever, I mean they’re more than welcome to their grievances, a lot of dudes suck at dating so it’s not too out of the realm for them to have bad experiences

However I see a lot of their content is wrapped up in the same shit the manosphere, MTGOW, RP propagates just from the point of view of right / alt-right adjacent leaning women

Bandit174 · 2021-12-20T18:57:16+00:00

Yeah, but only when it comes to expectations for men. They don't want to be expected to be chaste or modest, cook clean, stay home with the kids.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2021-12-20T22:13:07+00:00

I don't understand why people are trying to pick apart FDS using logic. One of their rules state:

All Advice Should Focus On Maximum Female Benefit

All comments and posts, should be focused on how the woman can derive maximum benefit for herself, and herself only. Mutual benefit should be a byproduct, not a goal.

They do not care about equality in any shape or form. All they care about is maximum gain for themselves.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2021-12-20T19:01:17+00:00

LOL, no, they are "female supremacist".

A "conservative" woman would actually bring something to a relationship besides demands.

back_in_blyat · 2021-12-20T19:59:58+00:00

But I would imagine 99% of their constituency is liberal as all heck. Single moms? Usually quite liberal. Fat people who think its the world's fault for their unwillingness to make better decisions? Very liberal. Anti-male rhetoric? Basically a requirement to be a female progressive.

FDS extoles entitlement and ignorance of one's own faults while expecting others do more. That tends to be a liberal framework for viewing life nowadays.

TRP I guess you could say is a more conservative ideology because it says you're failing because you're shit now go to the gym and assume some responsibility.

StarchRunner · 2021-12-20T18:57:34+00:00

A woman making more money and dating/marrying a man that makes less than her is BAD, she should be with a man that makes more than her

I don't subscribe to this specifically but I think a lot of women have problems with it.

Square_Inflation_534 · 2021-12-20T18:34:53+00:00

Yes, they locked the sub recently and kicked out any detractors because there was drama over its conservative lens

2021-12-20T18:47:17+00:00

It's conservative, but I dunno why anyone expects them to not be conservative... so I'm not really seeing the irony.

RDelbson · 2021-12-20T20:04:57+00:00

FDS is prescribes conservatism for men, which is good, but doesn't do so for women, which is bad.

To be specific, these are all of the things they do not say:

A woman NEEDS to be able to take care of her and your needs comfortably, make love every night
A woman should never pms or act crazy in front of you, we're not paid psychiatrists and she's not a teenager
A woman MUST be conventionally attractive, slim (< 23 BMI), beautiful, fit and has curves, tight and overall incredibly feminine
If a woman fails to satisfy, she needs to be shamed
A woman should be a virgin before marriage

In other words, it's just a bunch of hypocrisy from women. They want gender roles in men, and demand conform to a certain mold, but they don't want to behave adhering to any standards at all.

TheBurningSoda · 2021-12-20T19:07:07+00:00

Is this the conservative side in America? Seems weird to include in politics.

A man MUST be conventionally attractive, tall, handsome, fit and muscular, well-endowed and overall terribly masculine

If a man fails to satisfy, he needs to be shamed

PM-ME-BIG-TITS9235 · 2021-12-21T09:55:55+00:00

Everyday....the horse shoe theory of politics becomes more and more true.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2021-12-20T19:11:25+00:00

Yep. That's why I, a progressive woman, dislike it as much as red pill lol.

HydroGrorra1983 · 2021-12-20T19:42:55+00:00

FDS are just a bunch of angry middle-aged women who didn’t get the memo that guys aren’t looking for aged spinsters.

They try all those lying strategies wasting their time and then being angry it doesn’t work.

The biggest lie is that 30+ women are still hot enough to snatch Chads.

The_LSD_Fairy · 2021-12-20T18:44:11+00:00

And it finds itself in the beginning of a hate spiral that all closed off subs find themselves in. Think of all the subs that ban outside thought as you'll see they have a lot in common.

It's sad really, very sad. I see so many similarities between them and MGTOW and it will end the same. If people don't let love into their heart then it will always end sadly. Men and women need to talk to each other to reconcile their differences. Not fight. Not to play the blame game. And just like MGTOW, I think we all know how it will end. Probably a lot slower but it's already pretty damn toxic.

goatismycopilot · 2021-12-20T21:14:07+00:00

I am waiting for the day I open PD and every single post is about FDS. These women are not just living rent free in your heads they deep sea mining it. In all fairness, it does not take much foe dudes to get the jitters here.

sinahooh · 2021-12-20T22:56:05+00:00

You used never and always statements and i doubt they did as well. For example 'men should never cry', what they probably wrote was 'men should not use me as free emotional labor and take me for granted', which are different statements with different meanings. Same with a lot of the things on your list. However ive seen some posters are more extremist in their views and would actually fit into the conservative side

SnooChocolates5892 · 2021-12-20T19:47:11+00:00

FWIW, I first learned of FDS in the comments of The American Conservative website.

sine120 · 2021-12-20T20:00:22+00:00

No, it addressed what qualities a man should have, not qualities the relationship or the woman should have. Maybe it's half conservative but judging by who posts there and the description of the guys they do bag, that's up for debate.

It just so happens that they desire a more conservatively defined man. From what I know about FDS, it very loosely or does not define the qualities a woman should exhibit. If they do it's usually in relation to weeding out guys and doesn't specify how she should look or act outside of that. Once in the relationship, it defines what the man should do/ act, but doesn't say much on what the woman should contribute other than her existence and implying her being a HVW is good enough. When you think of a conservative relationship, you have clearer expectations of what the woman should bring to the table.

Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-20T20:10:26+00:00

Kind of. There’s still difference between conservative movements, Paleo conservatives aren’t as bad as fascists. So yeah, both are bad, one is considerably worse

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-12-20T21:42:27+00:00

Unattached sex is completely out of the question for everyone, and women who engage in it are shamed

Not at all. I've seen many posts on FDS about how the cock carousel doesn't exist and how men try to control women this way etc.

HumanSockPuppet · 2021-12-20T21:47:48+00:00

They are conservative in the sense that they are conserving a certain state of being. That state of being is alone, angry, and bitter.

ohdiddly · 2021-12-20T22:32:07+00:00

They are unironically conservative

Throwaway230306 · 2021-12-20T22:57:39+00:00

It's not quite conservative, but it is traditional in spirit about a woman's sexual imperative, minus the real talk about the importance of a woman's youth and beauty on the dating market.

Here's what old school FDS would sound like. From Anton Chekhov's story A Woman's Kingdom, 1894. Advice to a rich young twenty-something woman who's into a working class man:

There is no need for you to get married really like every one else. You’re rich and free, you are your own mistress; but yet, my child, it doesn’t seem the right thing for you to be an old maid. I’ll find you, you know, some trumpery and simple-witted man. You’ll marry him for appearances and then have your fling, bonny lass! You can hand him five thousand or ten maybe, and pack him off where he came from, and you will be mistress in your own house—you can love whom you like and no one can say anything to you....

You are handsome, Annushka, and very rich; but as soon as thirty-five or forty strikes for you your time is up. Don’t listen to any one, my girl; live, have your fling till you are forty, and then you will have time to pray forgiveness—there will be plenty of time to bow down and to sew your shroud.

SouthBendNewcomer · 2021-12-21T04:47:10+00:00

I don't have any original thoughts that haven't already been offered up by someone else in the comments, but I did recently run across this comment that breaks down FDS and other pilled communities the best way I've ever seen it done. It cuts right to the heart of it in my opinion.

Ou-tis · 2021-12-21T05:44:53+00:00

They are not "conservative" they are some kind of feminists with infinite requests and a bad attitude for dating. I suspect most of them make those standard so high that is not their fault if they can't get a man. But everyone have freedom to do what they want, so good luck for everybody.

youhavetheanswer · 2021-12-21T09:06:32+00:00

It's very conservative in its gender models

DXBrigade · 2021-12-21T10:05:45+00:00

They are tradcons but it's not ironic or a secret.

TheSquatchMann · 2021-12-21T13:59:14+00:00

They’re reactionary as hell. They don’t understand that women’s liberation means the abolition of capitalism and the liberation of everyone else. FDS is alarmingly classist, ableist, racist, and pro-capitalist, and I’ve watched them openly support eugenics.

HumanNumber348 · 2021-12-20T21:06:52+00:00

Yes. Add anti-lgbt to your list. And racism.

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2021-12-20T19:39:49+00:00

LoL no. Conservative women respect men and want to serve their husband and family.

FDS women hate men and want to be served by them.

IcarusKiki · 2021-12-20T20:22:31+00:00

Yes? Its not supposed to be a feminist sub its a socially conservative black womens’ sub

AutistNerd · 2021-12-21T00:58:04+00:00

Just a bunch of fat fucks low life that has nothing else to do other than bashing on man and other women. I wish someone take down that sub. Fcking contagious as fck.

KikiYuyu · 2021-12-20T21:09:52+00:00

I think FDS is more mental illness than political.

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-12-20T21:48:22+00:00

Don't they advocate keeping a FWB while trying to date husband material?

That's the worst of both worlds. I can deal with a conservative woman or a progressive woman, but not that shit.

Saborizado · 2021-12-20T22:40:08+00:00

FDS is a strange dimension in which they talk about "independence and empowerment" but at the same time want the advantages of traditional couples: to be independent but not responsible for their freedom. They yearn for egalitarianism, but want men to be the providers and be the ones to initiate courtship. It's madness.

The irony is that they agree with Red Pill on some things, but for different reasons.

The fundamental difference is that in TRP, it is your responsibility as a man to develop and be the best version of yourself, and to find a person who fits your frame.

In FDS, the responsibility is also the man's, but because all women are perfect creatures oblivious to the flaws of mere mortals, who deserve to be treated like princesses just for existing. They are women who adopt postures of hostility and think that they do not deserve to develop a personality and a character.

2021-12-21T02:29:09+00:00

Nothing ironic about it. You guys basically make up what you believe FDS is and then when you find out what it really is you call it irony. FDS has always shat on the liberal feminist and has always said conservative men are better partners.

Diamond-Breath · 2021-12-21T03:01:38+00:00

Honestly, why is being a conservative a bad thing? Even if they are, I don't blame them. I'm conservative myself.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2021-12-20T20:47:39+00:00

Nah, it's mostly liberal. The conflicting views you list is the summary of a lot of people's views.

Of course in some cases there is cognitive dissonance but in other cases it is clear that not everyone on FDS holds the same values.

Let's go through the points.

This assumption is incorrect, they want a man that is financially well off but not to take care of the FDS member because she has money of her own. They just don't want a mooch.
A man should never whine or cry in front of you, we're not paid psychiatrists and he's not a toddler - I don't think this is their opinion. They just don't want somebody that is emotionally draining.
Unattached sex is completely out of the question for everyone, and women who engage in it are shamed - I have not seen this at all.
Free love, open relationships and polyamory are absolutely out of the question for everyone - I have not seen this as a general opinion there but there seems to be a general consensus that women don't benefit from polyamory.
A man MUST be conventionally attractive, tall, handsome, fit and muscular, well-endowed and overall terribly masculine. - not something I've seen as a general requirement .
If a man fails to satisfy, he needs to be shamed - not from what I've seen. Just frustration with men that don't try to satisfy.
A woman making more money and dating/marrying a man that makes less than her is BAD, she should be with a man that makes more than her. - not something I've seen, only saw one study posted on the subject that showed that men tend to cheat on their wives if the wife earns more than him.

All in all I think you did a very bad job summarizing what goes on there. I notice some extreme viewpoints that I don't agree with but I also notice that there is no 'one line' on many issues.

Most of the posts are examples of stupid shit men do.

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_Woodrow_ · 2021-12-20T22:43:36+00:00

In the same way that the red pill is.

Texan2116 · 2021-12-21T00:36:21+00:00

The one variance , is on their podcast, they have been supportive of dual mating, and having unattached sex.

jayda92 · 2021-12-20T21:42:42+00:00

I'm a libertarian leaning towards conservatism. Used to be more conservative. There was a post a few months ago that FDS is not a political sub and that women from all walks of life and political sides are welcome. I would say we're pretty mixed.

I became more of a hater to liberal third wave feminists, but my admiration grew for radical feminists.

TryLambda · 2021-12-20T18:55:29+00:00

No FDS.. for most part is called gold digging.... and getting railed by the football team.. while the rich patsy is away out of town on the business trip...

mackenzie013_02 · 2021-12-20T18:56:58+00:00

Well.. a rather large portion of their (vocal) members are conservative. Lots of their “guidelines” are conservative: - not paying on dates - guys initiating everything - no porn - marriage is end goal

..probably missing more obvious ones.

Available-Activity50 · 2021-12-20T20:25:04+00:00

I wonder how many FDS posts are written by RPD men posing as women.

sigma1932 · 2021-12-21T10:20:58+00:00

Considering it says right in their own guidelines that they're philosophy is amoral and all about maximizing female benefit, no.

They're SJW... Radical feminists/Female supremacists.

They don't want husbands, they want male slaves... they want men to be excessively "traditional" (i.e. to the point that their long-term health suffers), without having to be traditional wives themselves themselves.

Granted that's pretty much what all females want nowadays, FDS is just over-the-top bat-shit insane about it.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2021-12-21T10:35:38+00:00

I think its nothing but a bitter lesbian circle jerk sub that feels the need to rule over every man inside and outside of relationships. I checked that sub and only see a bunch of toxic info to make women become a bunch of misandrists.

ChadThundagaCock · 2021-12-20T20:41:32+00:00

Hmm, conservative huh? Maybe I have judged FDS too harshly. Ehh, I think Red Pill Women is probably a healthier version of conservative

2021-12-20T20:51:39+00:00

Liberal feminism has not resulted in better conditions for women.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2021-12-20T19:20:13+00:00

Yes it’s conservative, was it ever not? What ironic about those women being conservative?

XYZRGCMYK · 2021-12-20T20:12:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Starter91 · 2021-12-20T21:33:38+00:00

They are, funny how what goes around comes back around.

pubgmisc · 2021-12-20T22:23:47+00:00

People become conservative when they have kids I think, especially with dating stuff

bfangPF1234 · 2021-12-20T22:42:15+00:00

Yea it’s shockingly conservative lol.

Whitewasabi69 · 2021-12-20T23:12:50+00:00

Good post

Whitewasabi69 · 2021-12-20T23:23:28+00:00

Has anybody listened to their podcast?

Reasonable-Steak1848 · 2021-12-20T23:24:12+00:00

I agree its mostly conservative

cuckspace · 2021-12-21T01:21:11+00:00

They just want to take, take, take all the benefits from conservatism as well as feminism and give nothing in return. All liberal feminists are in effect like this when the clock starts ticking, FDSers are just more honest about it under the mask of anonymity. Radical feminists are a dying breed. I almost miss those perpetually frustrated furry-legged man-hating creatures, spouting Dworkin quotes left and right and claiming that marriage is slavery and all heterosexual sex is rape. Almost.

SnooGrapes7454 · 2021-12-21T05:56:40+00:00

FDS doesn't advocate for relying on your partner for financial support, or relying on men in general. They also are strongly against the idea of being a SAHM. You'll find that these two things go against liberal feminism, which is a school of thought that boils down to "any choice is a feminist choice if you call yourself a feminist".

They are very conservative when it comes to casual sex though, I think, which goes against the liberal feminist ethos of sexual empowerment is a form of empowerment

SpecialistDesk9297 · 2021-12-21T10:30:10+00:00

I guess I was raised conservative.

Phuxsea · 2021-12-22T01:46:46+00:00

Yes, bingo 100%. It's a real horseshoe theory.

redheadbeauty15 · 2021-12-22T03:42:42+00:00

It’s a counter to the overt liberal feminism that wanted all women to be free whores. The pendulum is always going to swing back and forth get used to it

Black7057 · 2021-12-23T04:59:47+00:00

They are only conservative when it comes to standards for men, not standards for women.

However, this IS how a lot of conservative women are now. They expect Traditional Values to be applied to men, but women can take or leave it based on whatever's convenient at the time.

But I doubt anyone from FDS has conservative views on abortion or religion.

Desert_butterfries · 2021-12-23T05:39:29+00:00

Conservatives care about looks and looking good, status quo all that, FDS legit thinks they don't need to lose weight for a man.

They gon call me a pickme, but I prefer staying in shape and looking good, and I attracted a man that pays for everything. ESFJ (him) and I'm an ISFP. I think if I were 250 pounds, I'd have a hard time getting a good guy.

And I'm willing to bet FDS are the kind of ladies that hate it when men have hunting or fishing pics on their dating profiles. Opposite of conservative lol. We all love hunting and fishing. Best sausage I've ever had was deer, a farm pig just can't compete.

0ctoT1t · 2021-12-24T15:07:34+00:00

I thought everyone agreed it was conservative. I prefer women that focus on femininity connection. FDS talks so much about finding a perfect man but there’s no talk of being a women that the perfect man would even want to be with. Keep in mind the idea that a man will treat you bad no matter if you’re an amazing woman is true, but there’s gotta be a balance. Be a good person and also know how to weed out the people that will take advantage of that

2021-12-24T16:56:48+00:00

The FDS movement is very interesting and has a reasonable basis. Women have historically been treated poorly and unfairly in many ways and until recently, struggled to live a fulfilling and independent life due to men having more access, rights, and ability to things. Now that women are more able to pursue a career, live independently, and chase passions etc, there is less of a need to have a man in your life to be your partner. You don't need them to support you financially, emotionally, sexually. And women are also starting to realize their worth and that they deserve an equal man at the very least. If you pursue a partner, they should really be amazing and add some sweetness and spice to your life.

I think the big thing I take away from FDS is that a man should be an **addition** to an already fulfilling life rather than a way to complete your life. And I believe women are entitled to be treated respectfully, valued by their SOs, and to have someone who has their shit together. Now the issue I have with FDS is that it does push some extreme viewpoints, gives this idea of women benefiting from men on a materialistic level, and the idea that men are inherently not good people. While they certainly have grounds to have those beliefs, it's dangerous to just put out a black-and-white opinion on a group. There is nuance and levels to how people are. I would agree with you that the sub is "Trad w/ modern beliefs that benefit women", but a decent amount of the stuff posted on that subreddit is valid.

Title	Is FemaleDatingStrategy, ironically, conservative?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	238
Comments	521
Date	December 20, 2021 6:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rktux1/is_femaledatingstrategy_ironically_conservative/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-femaledatingstrategy-ironically-conservative.1212347 https://theredarchive.com/post/1212347

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