Many young people nowadays say dating is more trouble than it's worth

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2023-04-21T15:46:30+00:00

Why did they survey 13 y/o's? They don't know what they are doing.

anon018274031 · 2023-04-21T16:58:22+00:00

Every time I’ve tried actively dating it’s taken twice as long to heal whatever damage the dating experience does.

It really isn’t worth it

HobbitShaker88 · 2023-04-21T15:48:42+00:00

I could see that. American society (dont know about other places) is very individualistic and self centered. People are seen as disposable and nobody wants to compromise or work on problems or have a not perfect relationship. People are less likely to want to make their partner happy and want to find someone who just will make THEM happy.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2023-04-21T16:37:51+00:00

I definitely agree.

Relationships are hard work and sometimes it’s not worth it. That’s why there’s a lot of casual situations nowadays.

I don’t necessarily blame people. The way we were raised was not conducive to a long term relationship.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-04-21T13:49:31+00:00

It seems like honestly, many young people nowadays are feeling like most of life is more trouble than it’s worth, definitely not just dating. Myself included to some degree, and I’m not even that young. Staring down adult life as an 18-21 yr old right now has got to be discouraging.

I just don’t agree that this is somehow all young women’s fault. They’re tired and discouraged too. We’re all looking at a shit economy where things like home ownership and having children seem out of reach or not worth it. Of course people get into relationships for other reasons, but the whole house and kids thing used to be a part of that vision for a lot of people. Add in the atomization of society, loss of third places, and general reduction in how much people socialize, and it all starts to make sense.

LarsBohenan · 2023-04-21T14:41:03+00:00

Men: If you're best friend had your gf's personality, would he be your best friend?

Dating is, near impossible.

Freezingrhyme · 2023-04-21T12:56:35+00:00

It's almost like men and women are being deliberately pitted against each other by disingenuous actors for political and ideology purposes while these same actors loot the country or something.

Someone should look into this instead of screaming about incels and misogyny while stuffing yourself on preservative saturated goyslop and watching tik tok.

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2023-04-21T16:58:31+00:00

Here is what dating looks like for an average dude:

Downloads tinder
Swipes 5,000 times over 3 months
Gets 50 matches
35 Don't Respond(15 Matches Left)
12 conversations fizzle out(3 Matches Left)
Setups up 3 dates
1 Ghosts(2 Matches Left)
1 Ghosted after date(1 Match Left)
Desperately tries to secure final match.

I even used higher numbers than the actual averages. Match Rate is 0.06%, I used 0.1%. Match to Date Conversion is also higher than average.

After all this, he was able to get 1 5/10 who doesn't offer anything other than her pussy to date her. Pumped and Dumped by chads in her prime. You got the older more used version.

But even this relationship sucks. She settled for you because she couldn't get a chad. Tired of getting pumped and dumped. The woman walks all over you because she knows she can easily replace you. You take it cause you know you have no other option.

So yeah for the average dude I would not say it's worth it. Kinda lit for chads tho. Just looksmax or mgtow. Anyone in the middle gets fucked. Play to win, or don't play at all.

Over_North8884 · 2023-04-21T15:00:10+00:00

USA obesity rates by decade:

1970: 15%

1980: 15%

1990: 12%

2000: 23%

2010: 34%

2020: 42.4%

glen_stefani69420 · 2023-04-21T20:12:11+00:00

Dating is absolutely worth it but people DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING DATE. I cannot scream this loud enough.

You can blame OLD, society, social media and all play a role. BUT, when dating, you have to take time to get to know someone. Seriously, before all the massive social media, OLD apps etc. you had to actually talk to someone a few times before you got to know them and determined if you liked them. Yes, some people are an instant hit, but that's seriously so few people. And yes, some people you instantly know "nope, not it", that is also fine.

Seriously though, how the fuck are you going to form a relationship with anyone if you just expect immediate butterflies and endless infatuation? Younger generations have absolutely Z E R O clue how to interact and socialize romantically. Growing up, in high school and university (midway through university Tinder took off), going out and socializing/school was the ONLY way to meet people. Seeing the same person time and time again made me like people, made me excited to see them. I can't tell you how many people I initially said no to in my head, but after exposure to them, I was like "wow, okay fuck yeah".

Every generation before, you only had what was physically in front of you, so guess what, you didn't treat everyone like just another dot on a graph. You didn't have 10 dates a week at your finger tips, you didn't have the ability to immediately choose better, different, or pick out specific traits as easily. IF YOU WANT TO DATE, YOU NEED TO INVEST IN YOUR OPTIONS AND NOT JUST SEEK IMMEDIATE VALIDATION.

Think about this, how many times a week do you go outside? How many times while in public or work do you actually come across someone you want to date and find attractive? How many times have you gotten to know someone, and your opinion of them changed for better or worse?

OLD which is probably what most people use, gives you and idea of who looks good in photos NOT whether you actually like this person or not. How many times i've gone on dates and its like wow, I felt nothing because guess what, a picture can't determine if you have a vibe or not. I've also gone on dates that were "meh", but I went on a few more and guess what, I actually got to know the person a bit more and often times was able to make a more clear decision as to whether I like them or not.

tl;dr:

- young people have no idea what it is to date. Dating isn't an instant validation. It takes time, effort, and happens slowly.
- Pictures don't tell you if you like someone, they tell you if you like a picture of them. That person can be totally different and you could have no vibes at all
- People are the cause of their own demise. You can be successful, and dating apps can be amazing, but people use them like its an endless shopping cart with unlimited funds.

stlmick · 2023-04-21T17:27:28+00:00

I'm 39m, and agree. At this stage in my life, I'm more concerned with funding my retirement and improving my quality of life than I am with dating. I'll get around to it if I do.

TheOrangeGhost · 2023-04-21T18:25:39+00:00

This is because we have put wayyy to much pressure on dating. The first 3 dates are not about finding your forever partner. The first 3 dates are just about having fun and deciding if you want to keep dating that person. People go on less dates now because everyone of both genders is superficially picky about dating partners.

Peacesquad · 2023-04-21T14:12:44+00:00

A basic Wyoming chick has access to a Dubai entrepreneur. The average guy has been fucked over worldwide

Katatonicsnake · 2023-04-21T19:47:17+00:00

Totally understandable. Dating is boring at best. I guess I was ahead of my time.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-04-21T12:41:31+00:00

Well the economy is doing poorly and inflation is killing everyone. If I was single at this moment in time I'd plan on staying that way for at least another year.

gofigure62 · 2023-04-21T14:59:14+00:00

Men and women aren't being pitted against one another. Men and women aren't finding people who are quality partners for themselves specifically. Many of the complaints that NORMAL men and women have are completely legitimate. My friends that are single who have tried to date have legitimate complaints about the men and women that exist in the modern dating pool.

Unavailable men and women who just want to have sex and don't actually want a relationship is a legitimate complaint. That isn't "pitting" men and women against each other.
Men and women that are flakey and can't make up their minds, constantly ghost and try to come back are legitimate complaints. A significant amount of men and women are relationally erratic and inconsistent. This is a legitimate complaint.
Men and women with severe mental illnesses that impede on their ability to function to a reasonable degree is a legitimate complaint. So many people are suffering from anxiety and depression which causes them to neglect their hygiene, neglect their relationships, and causes them to be volatile people to be around.
Men and women that are just out right abusive are legitimate complaints. There are men and women out there emotionally, financially, and physically abusing people. Especially hobosexuals that are simply looking for a place to stay, or someone to split the rent with. There are many people who exploit relationships because they simply cannot afford to live on their own, and sharing expenses with a romantic partner has more security than depending on being roommates with strangers.
Men and women simply not having the time or resources to commit to a relationship is a legitimate complaint. Many people are working multiple jobs and have multiple "gig" jobs on the side. Never seeing someone or rarely having time to be with that person is a legitimate complaint.
Men and women taking advantage of people because they can is a legitimate complaint. There are men and women who latch onto a person expecting them to be their parent. There are men and women who aren't capable of taking care of themselves and use relationships in order to get a servant or caretaker.
Men and women who can't get what they want and settling for someone they don't like and treating them poorly is a legitimate complaint. There are men and women who don't want to be alone and settle for anyone who gives them attention and treats that person like absolute dogshit out of resentment.
Men and women who are desperate for a relationship and desperate to settle down, and try to force who they settle with to change every aspect of themselves to be their perfect partner is a legitimate complaint.

Complaints about modern complaints about dating isn't ALWAYS regarding an imaginary gender war. I hate how people completely ignore that there are MANY LEGITITMATE complaints regarding modern dating for men and women that don't have anything to do with a social sex divide agenda. THERE ARE plenty of fucked up men and women in the dating pool that aren't worth dating. And if someone lives in an area that is oversaturated with these people, dating isn't worth the effort. The truth is that men and women who don't have the empathy, social skills, or mental stability required to date, exist. Just because many men and women are single, doesn't mean that those men and women are quality let alone good or safe dating options. And not it's not about finding the "perfect" person, some people are not even good company let alone good romantic partners.

DeshaunWalt · 2023-04-21T13:02:24+00:00

Well dating does leave many men broke

So l can see why

Professional-You1235 · 2023-04-22T23:54:32+00:00

Yeah, who wants to work hard fulfilling women’s excessive checklist when you can just relax and enjoy porn and video games😄.

Cause thats pretty much what dating is: a dude down to have some fun and a chick with long list of terms and conditions that must be fulfilled before fun is permitted😂

Safinated · 2023-04-21T14:11:11+00:00

Dating is indeed trouble compared to social media, porn, games and other online entertainment

ROBYoutube · 2023-04-21T13:04:29+00:00

I'm glad to hear that not all men react to a dry spell by screaming at women. Some of them just stop caring and live normally and happily.

KirthWGersen · 2023-04-21T13:45:22+00:00

"the majority of single 13-39-year-olds say dating is more difficult now than it was in the past"

I can see how the 39-year-olds might say that. They dated in the past.

But half of that age group clearly have no idea what they are talking about, meaning it tells us more about their feelings than any facts.

CapsuleCorpLogo · 2023-04-21T19:04:56+00:00

Women.

KurtWagnersBamfSmoke · 2023-04-21T16:19:01+00:00

I don't want to be the guy who brings race into this. But Black people warned you of this!

It hurts seeing the very women who have the most power in their culture completely shit on their men and then get mad when men start looking for women of different races. Black men have been checking out a lot of times because we feel abandoned. Even my nephew who's 16 isn't interested in girls his age.

Wing_Puzzleheaded · 2023-04-22T04:41:14+00:00

35m here, I have always felt this way.

jacare_o · 2023-04-21T20:14:34+00:00

The answer, from a male perspective, is to stop contributing to a society that doesn't solve their mating problem. If enough men became homesteaders and left the system, the tax funded female welfare utopia will cease to exist.

Purple-Following-422 · 2023-04-21T22:19:45+00:00

How the hell are women going to say it's more trouble than it's worth? You don't ask, you don't plan the date, you don't contribute in keeping the conversation interesting, you don't pay, shit some of you don't even drive, you just get picked up and dropped off.

szclimber · 2023-04-21T13:14:57+00:00

No. Most young women are in relationships. When they are single they have many prospects and experiences

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RetainTheForce · 2023-04-21T13:06:12+00:00

Most women have too high bodycount these days.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-04-21T16:53:27+00:00

100% agree. 38M and always been single.

Went on my first date aged 36/37 during the pandemic but we didn't share much in common so I decided to end things between us. Looking back I don't quite know why I dated her to begin with. I was obviously lonely and needy at the time.

Luckily I've moved on since then, have redefined my personality and character and started developing standards.

Saying that I no longer date or do relationships, instead I focus on myself, work, hobbies and interests.

Made peace with being alone and found acceptance.

Gitanes · 2023-04-22T00:59:03+00:00

13 to 39 is a moronic age range sample

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-04-21T13:06:53+00:00

Cool, don’t date. Be single, buy some cool stuff. Make travel and vacation arrangements with friends. Get a hobby that takes up a lot of time that you get lost in.

Nothing wrong with all that.

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-04-21T18:12:36+00:00

Dating is actually okay if you follow red pill advice and employ pua techniques, otherwise noone should even bother

SteveSan82 · 2023-04-22T04:56:22+00:00

Dating is fine if you got game.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-04-21T20:18:15+00:00

First of all, surveying 13 year olds for dating purposes is creepy af. But I would say dating is pretty bad nowadays, especially for men. At least women can choose a good man if they want to, too bad they are too blinded by a bad boy's looks, while the good man is just ignored and ghosted.

Kobe_curry24 · 2023-04-22T00:34:26+00:00

People don’t have real expectations in dating most don’t even date to marry so of course it’s gonna be a Shit show and I’m here for the circus

Acrobatic_Bicycle726 · 2023-04-22T13:37:27+00:00

Dating isn’t the right terminology more like one night stands and flings

2023-04-23T20:24:51+00:00

Older people are saying "fuck it" too. Me being one of them.

I have kids, don't want more. Low libido. What do I need a woman in here for again?

Those fucked up kitchen table financial meetings?

Or my personal favorite... "We need to talk...."

Yeah, no.

ihave3babydaddies · 2023-04-28T10:36:07+00:00

For an average guy in the west nowadays, it’s either stay single or date an obese single mom with 3 kids & that’s if you get lucky

Title	Many young people nowadays say dating is more trouble than it's worth
Author	hodlbtcxrp
Upvotes	211
Comments	400
Date	April 21, 2023 12:34 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12u0ajd/many_young_people_nowadays_say_dating_is_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/many-young-people-nowadays-say-dating-is-more.1215017 https://theredarchive.com/post/1215017

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