Do you have any sympathy for women who wish men would approach them in real life more?

rft24 · 2021-05-03T16:48:32+00:00

sympathy? why? this isn’t enough of a big deal to warrant sympathy.

and men are still cold approaching. it happens to me often enough. on the street, a store, the park, etc. not just parties and clubs.

maybe your friend should work on having a more approachable demeanor. the amount of men who approached me doubled when i made an effort to be approachable and express nonverbal interest in men who caught my attention.

PunjabiPakistani_ · 2021-05-03T15:51:05+00:00

No. If these women want to be cold approached then they can either a) make themselves more available and/or b) hang out in areas men are more likely to cold approach.

I don’t have sympathy for people who whine about problems that are easily solvable.

PurplePill_Throwaway · 2021-05-03T16:01:44+00:00

No. What's stopping her from approaching guys she's interested in?

festethefoole1 · 2021-05-03T16:34:16+00:00

Wait wait wait, we're told time and again that women are constantly cat-called and hit on and so on and so forth and that its as regular as feeling the wind in your hair if you're a woman.

Given that, do you really expect me to believe that women don't have plenty of men approaching them overall and are just complaining that they aren't being approached by the top 10-20% who weren't interested, but they think *may* have approached if something wasn't stopping them?

Mossimo5 · 2021-05-03T16:38:16+00:00

I feel sympathy, yeah. But more so for the guys who are now too afraid to approach women in reality. The last 10 years have made the juice absolutely not worth the squeeze when approaching women in reality. The risk of them feeling assaulted is just too high. I understand on an intellectual level that the majority of women wouldn't care. But it only takes one bad actor to claim assault to ruin your entire life and future on words alone. I'm currently in a long term relationship and enjoy it greatly, but all of my single freinds (except 1 guy) are too scared to approach women in public. I'm talking about more than a dozen guys. Granted this is just anecdotal evidence, but the trends seem pretty clear to me. It's kind of a shame really, because your odds of getting a date rise dramatically if approached in reality and not online. When a woman can view you entirely, your personality, your energy your aura, etc. you have a much stronger chance of getting a yes, as opposed to a 0.5 second judgement based on a picture. So yeah, I feel for her, but I feel more for single guys who want to ask women out in public but are too scared to. Your mileage may vary though.

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-05-03T16:54:47+00:00

She's not the type to go to bars or clubs, which I think makes it harder for her.

This is the equivalent of men who refuse to go to parties/bars/clubs and complain that they're unsuccessful. I don't have sympathy for any of these people.

If you don't frequent venues that are conducive to approaching, then no shit you're not going to be approached. Cold approaching in broad daylight has always been a tiny sliver of the pie. Most approaches happen in some kind of social/party/drinking environment.

NarniaFox · 2021-05-03T16:13:20+00:00

Not really. I think women should do some approaching too and not expect that guy would keep always being the initiators. And if they want to get approached more, they should actually do something for it. Get out more often for example.

Plus, these women often complain not just about a lack of attention, but about less traditional society in general. Hard no.

alberto-hoff · 2021-05-03T16:55:47+00:00

I don't know a single woman who makes this complaint.

Henry_Blair · 2021-05-03T17:52:30+00:00

More women like her need to step up and oppose publicly the feminist oppression of human sexuality.

SaBahRub · 2021-05-03T16:37:10+00:00

Nope. Nada

philomexa · 2021-05-03T15:51:44+00:00

No, why would I have sympathy for anybody too chicken shit to get what they want?

wtknight · 2021-05-03T15:31:58+00:00

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SmurfESmurferson · 2021-05-03T16:08:41+00:00

She’s not putting herself out there, and I’m willing to bet she’s probably not giving off IOIs

She’s being a princess who wants men to approach her without giving them any cues. That’s not how it works - women give men permission to approach

Also, men approach regularly. Even my old ass - if I’m still getting approached at 40, I’m willing to bet that she’s somehow discouraging men

hesipullupjimbo445 · 2021-05-03T16:51:57+00:00

No, all they gotta do is just work on their personality

eatapeach18 · 2021-05-03T18:17:54+00:00

It depends.

How does she present herself? If she’s rolling up to places with a messy greasy bun on the top of her head, frumpy sweats, dirty nails, unwashed face, etc etc, then no, I don’t feel sorry for her.

I respect a woman who follows “The Rules” (that is after all how I met my husband), but The Rules also state that you need to put your best self forward in order for men to approach you. Clean, flattering clothing, well-groomed hair, brows, and nails, a chic eye-catching accessory (my personal favorite is a long gold necklace paired with a low-cut top), and a couple spritzes of perfume should invite men to approach a woman.

EviessVeralan · 2021-05-04T00:24:10+00:00

If they arent a loud and proud feminist yes.

This being said, my sympathy to decent women looking for a decent guy doesn't blind me to the fact that a major contributing factor to why this happens is feminism.

M3taBuster · 2021-05-03T18:05:45+00:00

I have sympathy for women like your friend, because they are consistent in their views, and had no part in creating this mess. But I have zero sympathy for women who support social movements that demonize men for approaching women, or just male sexuality and romance in general, or hell, just men in general, and then turn around and lament how hard it is for them to meet men.

In short: trads get sympathy, libfems don't.

Robotemist · 2021-05-03T20:41:05+00:00

Absolutely not. Women are lazy as hell and completely risk averse when it comes to dating.

I'm what other situations on God's green earth is there a group of people that feel entitled to something and want so bad, yet they sit around and do nothing to get it? Name one thing.

FrivolousMood · 2021-05-04T00:24:49+00:00

She wants to meet more guys? Nothing prevents her approaching them.

Reisiluu · 2021-05-03T15:58:03+00:00

She's not the type to go to bars or clubs

Then no I don't have sympathy. Put on some makeup, grab your purse and go. Men won't approach you if you don't make yourself available.

There are plenty of men out there who aren't afraid of women. Who is worried about the frightened ones and why? Do they want pushover boyfriends who are afraid of them? Lol

Sage_Planter · 2021-05-03T15:35:08+00:00

No. I'm an attractive woman, and I rarely get approached in real life by men. I don't think a man has ever cold approached me ever. Despite that, I've had absolutely no issues dating because I tend to date within my social circles or online.

Medium_Drink5862 · 2021-05-03T16:13:31+00:00

No, Men were already scared to approach women before not as much as today, but the way society has become has definitely made it harder no doubt

While she is your friend this is just one woman's opinion, and you don't know what she's going to think about your approach until you approach her, which if you get bitched out can be very demoralizing if your not resilient enough

Not to mention there are some people who will step into interactions and tell you what your doing is wrong because they feel like it. Even though the girl is fine with it, but even then she won't say anything and leaving you to deal with said guy or whoever. Which if handled right can work in your favor

Not to mention, no offence to women your all lovely, but some women won't be honest about having a boyfriend, because they've either emotionally moved on, or they're just using the guy and he's blind. Next thing you know your eating Mexican food and this out of shape dude with a dad bod is screaming in your face threating to kill you

1Here4Bach · 2021-05-03T16:16:23+00:00

I think these women don’t know what they’re asking for. I’ve never been cold approached for dating but men have approached men to compliment me on my physical appearance.

I mean, they could ask their friends to set them up with a guy they know. That’s usually how most women find good guys.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-05-03T16:30:50+00:00

No. You can’t complain about something you’re not getting that you’re also doing nothing to make happen.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-05-03T17:19:59+00:00

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Novadina · 2021-05-03T17:30:51+00:00

She’s not the type to go to bars or clubs, which I think makes it harder for her.

Then where exactly does she want to be approached?

If she wants to meet men, and wants them to approach her (what’s stopping her from approaching them?), she should go where men are and where they do that. She can also go to singles activity groups.

nemma88 · 2021-05-03T17:31:13+00:00

approach women (I think that makes sense given the last 10 years of societal messaging) and as such, it's hard for her to meet guys. She's not the type to go to bars or clubs, which I think makes it harder for her.

Can't relate. I've avoided cold approaches with a 'nothankyou' *wanders off* all my life and never had an issue finding a partner within my social group. It's cool because you already vet their interests and persona via your other friends so *thumbs up*. And where I've wanted I've either approached or made very obvious, unmistakable IOI's.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-05-03T18:39:21+00:00

I probably the same sympathy as a man who wishes more women would approach him. I don't look down on either at all but would probably advice that it'd be easier to get what they want if they approach rather than waiting for something good to come to them.

2021-05-03T19:51:03+00:00

Lol the feminists caused this society and now they dislike it, right

EffectiveBlackCat · 2021-05-03T20:07:16+00:00

Approaching a woman can get you arrested here in the u.k.

daniellederek · 2021-05-03T20:49:04+00:00

Zero sympathy. Strong independent woman should approach if she wants to interact. They still have zero clue how damaging #meetoo has been to social interaction.

yuckyuck13 · 2021-05-03T21:10:35+00:00

Oh my god yes. I work at a huge university and over hear a lot of women talking with their friends about this walking walk around campus. Overheard one the other day about one woman crushing hard on a guy and he wasn't even trying. Still feel bad for her.

Edit; the big reason why Jordan Peterson is wildly popular amongst young men is he articulates ideas and direction the majority of men never once heard in their lives.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-05-04T08:10:32+00:00

I can see what these ladies are saying , let's be frank here , depending on what generation you are , going to a bar or club atmosphere isn't considered an area to be looking for a LTR , that's the impression I received from people ,mostly men to be honest, and they frown on ladies of substance going to them establishments. So where do look for individuals looking for a LTR now n days ? I can see the dilemma ?!?!

superlurkage · 2021-05-03T16:06:20+00:00

I have never heard a woman complain about that

wtknight · 2021-05-03T15:29:31+00:00

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LMM-GT02 · 2021-05-03T18:44:35+00:00

Pffft, just pick a dude. I don’t even have choices, just low chances that I have to relentlessly pursue until appropriate reciprocation has been received to justify communicating with a new girl. Even then, it’s all me in these conversations. I feel like a medieval jester performing a comedic dance for an unfazed crowd.

Girls on the other hand? Just. Pick. One. It’s so easy it’s like breathing.

You’re already saved from the toxic algorithm of the dating landscape.

NellythiStallion · 2021-05-03T16:29:05+00:00

I mean, why would I not have sympathy for women like that? Some women like to be approached and some don’t. This situation isn’t a new phenomenon to me, so it’s not a big deal to me.

DumbDumbDatingPhD100 · 2021-05-03T16:09:22+00:00

Not really. There are many ways to date and meet people (online, social circle, school, activities, etc). The fact that one specific form of meeting people is not as prevalent is just too much pickiness for me to have sympathy. I guess it’s her loss

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-05-03T17:48:21+00:00

Nope. Get out there and hit on people. I also don't have sympathy for men who whine about the same thing.

nyclaurco · 2021-05-03T18:05:55+00:00

LOL, what? maybe it’s a regional thing, but men are still always approaching us, even after fourth wave feminism and hashtag metoo. i prefer it this way and hope that it stays the same since i think that online dating is a shitshow, even though some men occasionally irk me while i’m busy. i will say that it happens a bit less often due to the masks, as they hide most of our face and create a sort of alienated, less social vibe.

AceOfBlacks · 2021-05-04T11:02:57+00:00

None whatsoever, we lay in the bed we make, and it only gets worse from here on out. Do you know which men still cold-approach in this new world order? Scumbags who either don't know or care about current circumstances, this will only further feminist agenda untill all men are seen as predators. Any woman who thinks for a second that a decent man will risk serious repercussions over something as innocent as trying to get to know a woman is in for a rude awakening in the coming decade.

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-05-03T15:58:56+00:00

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aerial_coitus · 2021-05-03T16:07:35+00:00

Nope.

Rich-Calligrapher-36 · 2021-05-03T16:56:32+00:00

Do you think most women would have sympathy for a man if he said the same?

goatismycopilot · 2021-05-03T17:12:32+00:00

[deleted]

UsualSouthern2168 · 2021-05-03T17:14:01+00:00

Sure? I've never really had that problem so I don't particularly care.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-05-03T17:27:50+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-05-03T17:34:37+00:00

[removed]

badgersonice · 2021-05-03T17:48:44+00:00

Not really. I didn't get approached much (or the approaches were so subtle I had no idea they were approaches?). If you want to get approached more and what you're doing now isn't working, do something different.

Expecting men to change themselves to solve your problems without you doing or saying anything just because you want them to is incredibly dumb.

LukeMoonwalker101 · 2021-05-03T17:56:34+00:00

How ugly does a woman have to be to not have anyone approach her?

kevinbsmith006 · 2021-05-03T18:03:34+00:00

I won't approach a woman in public that I've never talked to. Obviously if we are closer then it's okay.

StunningEstates · 2021-05-03T18:24:27+00:00

I mean she’s scared enough to not do it at all, why would men be any different? Because 90% of us are literally forced to unless we want to be alone lol? We’re not naturally more confident, we just want sex more than women do which has given them all the cards relating to that.

TwoFirmFeet · 2021-05-03T18:31:33+00:00

Lol no

2021-05-03T18:34:45+00:00

When she says not getting approached by any men, she means attractive men. If she’s not getting approached by the men she wants, just tell her it’s bc of her looks.

Mustbeaight · 2021-05-03T18:44:11+00:00

I have sympathy for her.. she’s consistent

TodTheRod01 · 2021-05-03T18:45:18+00:00

None

IcarusKiki · 2021-05-03T18:51:29+00:00

No, I don’t really have much sympathy for people who whine about dating norms in general tbh

BeepBeepSaysTheJeep · 2021-05-03T18:59:15+00:00

How does feminism affect a man's approach, unless said approach is gross or too forward?

2021-05-03T19:16:23+00:00

Of course I empathize with people in any kind of pain. That doesn't mean I sign off on every action they've ever taken.

2021-05-03T20:48:02+00:00

Nop, I cannot have sympathy for those type of woman

Scores_Man_Mund · 2021-05-03T20:55:01+00:00

Honestly yeah. Not a ton, but that's one of the few female problems that I genuinely feel some sympathy for. I always think it's weird when TRP guys complain about girls not approaching. If we're supposed to want women to act feminine, I don't see why we get mad when they do lol.

That said, your friend's problem could probably be solved by going to bars more.

Classic_Touch · 2021-05-03T21:10:02+00:00

I could not agree with her more. I am tired of these sleezy guys coming up to me. I have started rushing threw stores don't make any eye contact. I assume they are just sleezy men. Society has created a mess.

toasterchild · 2021-05-03T21:10:19+00:00

If she doesn't go to bars where is she expecting to be approached? Teens historically have had the mall but for adults it's always been a bar thing.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-05-03T21:14:39+00:00

No they can ask a friend to set them up if they want to meet guys or go on a dating app or event if they don’t have any friends.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-05-03T21:31:30+00:00

All women prefer it, those that say they don't want it have just had a bad experience of it being with a creepy or mis calibrated guy and its was done incorrectly. Good game is when it feel like a purely serendipitous moment and chance encounter, as much as possible.

statsfodder · 2021-05-03T22:17:50+00:00

You mean a cute 6'er guy isn't going to just walk up to me in walmart and ask to marry me?!? Wtf!! "Where have all the real men gone!"

(6'er guy - over 6 foot, over 6 inches, over 6 figures)

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-05-04T02:19:47+00:00

Not really, I’m happy there seems to be less overtly flirtatious/ sexual behavior from strangers than in the past.

cuckspace · 2021-05-04T03:12:56+00:00

People are less open and friendly in general now with noses always in their phones. And another way people commonly used to meet was at work or they would meet people through their coworkers or people around at after work happy hours. And so many people are working from home now and things have been shut down that has stopped being a viable option. That being said even 15-20 years ago, very few men would randomly approach me outside of appropriate places that I would ever be interested in, so it wasn’t some type of golden age of chivalry Chad knights offering m’lady a hand with her coat and bonnet.

Where is she expecting men to approach her anyway?

No_Chemistry_660 · 2021-05-04T04:17:54+00:00

As a hot woman—that’s nonsense. If you see something you’re interested in, go for it. Quit bitching about it.

_-CHUBUT-_ · 2021-05-04T05:06:46+00:00

They will have to start approaching men or otherwise natural selection will do its job.

lillmama · 2021-05-04T05:27:31+00:00

A lil bit of 👀contact

Ballface8020 · 2021-05-04T09:07:12+00:00

Don't most women complain about being hit on too often? I'm not understanding this complaint.

Also feminism and #MeToo haven't changed human nature: men will still approach if given IOI's. Your friend either isn't sending out the signals or she is going after guys who are out of her league. Also could be a Covid thing, I dunno.

PokePrincess95 · 2021-05-04T12:47:39+00:00

Maybe I have an advantage because I’m extroverted, but honestly if I like someone I’ll just go up to them and ask them to join me or ask them out on a date

zorpack · 2021-05-05T03:07:59+00:00

I approached my husband in a store he was working where I frequented. He said he would never have talked to me if I hadn’t given him my number. We haven’t separated since.

2021-05-05T05:17:11+00:00

I don't see why she can't approach men. If it irritates women I think that's an issue of ego. I think to be truly comfortable with yourself you have to learn how to be vulnerable and accept rejection. It's good for both genders.

SUEDE2BLACK · 2021-05-05T15:46:11+00:00

I think it depends on where you live to some extent but the men I know 30 and younger no longer aproach women these are successful HVM lawyers, finance some are in 6 figure blue collar jobs,they are strictly online the only guys I see really approaching women are bums and drug dealers wannabe rappers.

I used to see guys approaching women all the time it's very rare now.I used to approach women myself I was out of the game due to a long term relationship,in today's climate I wouldn't even bother who knows how many of those women subcribe to FDS and I'm MGTOW myself.

The only way I would ever date again is if a woman asked me out.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-05-05T19:21:36+00:00

It’s not so much that men don’t approach anymore, it’s that they only approach attractive women. So in that sense, I do have sympathy for women wondering why they never get approached because I was one of them. It’s not that I actually want/wanted to be approached so much, because it’s typically annoying if you’re just trying to go about your life. It’s wondering why it happens to apparently all other women but not you, wondering what’s wrong with you, and realizing it’s because you’re not that attractive. So it’s a double edged sword.

esmeraldasgoat · 2021-05-06T17:51:02+00:00

Being approached on the street is truly just embarrassing and uncomfortable, I can't fathom it ever leading to anything more than an awkward rejection. I think women who don't get approached AND men are both kinda under the illusion that it's this great ego boost to be a woman getting approached.. it's awkward, you're making me late, etc.

If a woman wants to be approached, she should be somewhat proactive. If you're in a bar and see a guy who you think is cute, make eye contact and smile, they normally come over if you signal that you'll be receptive. The current approach where men just appear next to you, make you jump, gesture you to take out your earphones.. nah it doesn't work. What are the chances this random stranger will be interested and single?

I think a lot of women are resistant to looking desperate in anyway, so give men literally nothing to go off and then wonder why they don't get approached. Like, didn't women in ancient China have signals they did with their fans if they were interested in a guy? The idea that dating is about trying to blindly approach an uninterested party is painful for everyone.

2021-05-10T14:25:30+00:00

No lol

There's a million things that can go wrong (or potentially even ruin your life) approaching Women as a Man.

If you have good Emotional Intelligence and Social Awareness it's generally fine but let's be honest; the vast majority of Men these days DON'T have these things 🥴

So why should my Gender feel bad for not putting themselves at risk because Women are sad guys aren't approaching them more?

Not our problem. Self Preservation is more important.

Elevatedheart · 2021-05-03T20:24:01+00:00

Feminism is just equal rights.. ( that’s all it means) I feel like it’s blown so out of proportion. Men’s fear of approaching women because women are now in the workplace, is an insecurity of the man. Some men don’t care.. they are content letting women ask them out, etc. Other men ( probably from more traditional upbringings) hold onto the value that they have to do the asking out. They may see it as role confusion if a woman comes on too strong.. I see aggressive women usually with beta males actually.. alpha men that have aggressive personalities and high testosterone are looking for the catch. They aren’t challenged by women in control because it makes them feel less masculine.. Beta males already feel less masculine up against alpha males, so they are perfectly fine with a women approaching them because it validates their low self esteem up against the alpha male.. I’m not an aggressive woman, but I’v had girlfriends in the past that have been aggressive chasing men and they would jump ahead of me trying to approach guys. Depending on the guy, some preferred a quieter more shy woman and would be more interested in me.. I think it’s personality and dynamic.. your friend may just want to take a different approach. Maybe try to be noticed somehow..

Title	Do you have any sympathy for women who wish men would approach them in real life more?
Author	youarockandnothing
Upvotes	104
Comments	317
Date	May 3, 2021 3:09 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/n3yhl7/do_you_have_any_sympathy_for_women_who_wish_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-have-any-sympathy-for-women-who-wish-men.776645 https://theredarchive.com/post/776645

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