Weekly FDS Chat/ Check In

quarterlyavocado · 2021-03-29T20:37:29+00:00

Ladies please. I’m begging you. STOP posting text message screenshots where you’re replying to LVM. Read the handbook, block, and delete.

Stop commenting on these threads to say “hur hur your reply is so clever, you should have told him to [blah blah blah blah]” NO. You tell him NOTHING because replying anything is rewarding his bad behavior with your time and attention. No “I’m a queen, don’t treat me like that!” No witty retort. No explaining what he did wrong. B-l-o-c-k.

HeavyMetalLobster · 2021-03-29T12:56:45+00:00

Browsing a certain anti-masturbation subreddit, reading posts and comments by MEN detailing exactly what FDS warns about over masturbation and ED is incredibly interesting

To loosely quote a comments I just read:

“I’m 21 and just starting to notice that’s it’s my fucking dick up” (as in his fault his dick doesn’t work)
“I’m 32 and married to my wife 4 years. The porn addiction is such a vicious cycle that when you abstain you can’t get regular erections while having sex because your penis doesn’t recognize that kind of stimulation. However it works when you do porn. So you fap thinking your brain needs that dopamine hit. Once you fap you get an erection but the sex never goes to completion. Plus it has been an issue getting her pregnant because the main issue has been ejaculating inside. Please stop this habit at all costs.”
“I’m 16 and I have ED”

And my favorite

“I was kissing and hugging with a hot girl I liked, and my erection was only 60%. But after she left, I started fantasizing about her, and my erection was hard as stone like 100%. With porn we are used to live only in illusions and fantasy”

Ladies if you ever wonder about how porn addicted men “get over it” - the answer is that they really don’t. Even after they’ve stopped, they’re left with permanent dick & brain damage

I’m really glad communities like that one exist. Being addicted to fiddling your junk is a sad, sad life. I wish them all the best, but I would never date a man who ruined his penis and brain over porn. It’s real

Gambit12345 · 2021-03-29T13:16:52+00:00

I saw my ex at the grocery store yesterday. After almost five months of strict no contact it threw me for a loop. When I noticed it was him I promptly walked the other way. I felt the worst, most sickening feeling and needed to get away from there. I read that our fight or flight response can be activated when we see exes which explains my reaction. I know it takes a long time to heal from a LTR and I want to get to a place where I feel indifference towards him without any negative reactions. I feel like that’s when I’ll know I’ve completely moved on. Idk how long it might take, but I’m content to take as much time as I need to thoroughly heal before even considering dating.

Kellianny · 2021-03-29T10:04:51+00:00

Do you ever feel your emotional or mental type VS. your sexual type are extremely different?

LR_today · 2021-03-29T15:37:24+00:00

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 my asexual wife won't let me degrade her booo hooo

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-29T16:45:21+00:00

LIBERAL FEMINISM IS SATAN

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-03-29T12:42:21+00:00

[deleted]

Hateorade_ · 2021-03-29T16:35:20+00:00

I’m keeping my distance from my pick me friend who won’t take a break from men or dating apps. She dates around and has a new guy pretty much every week and I’m not down for that. Also, I’m trying to eat a little bit healthier and try to go for a walk everyday this week.

I’m thinking of finally burning and getting rid of any photos and sentimental items from my LVM ex. However, going to his city and seeing him just makes me on edge. Anything that has to do with him makes me on edge and triggered.

I need to call a therapist and make an appointment. I already have about 15 therapists in mind but I just have to get myself to call them. I’m having less intrusive thoughts (although I still wonder why he did all that he did) and am not going to think about another guy for quite a while. I’ve never used a dating app before and I will never use one.

Original1one · 2021-04-01T04:02:57+00:00

queens,

Two nights ago, i was watching tv and saw my colleague's ex on tv talking about empathy and providing people with services for mental health.

..that guy left my colleague as she was diagnosed with cancer. literally as she was in the hospital.

i was so sickened...i am afraid to ask if she saw him but i do not want to trigger her...imagine your stupid ass ex who left you during the lowest point of your life on tv talking about FUCKING EMPATHY.

The fact that he's well and she's suffering makes me question life.

throwawaychick8357 · 2021-03-31T05:04:26+00:00

Hi all, I just broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago and after stumbling upon this sub I could identify with so so so many of the descriptions. I was basically a forever girlfriend, and I had such low self esteem for so many years that I just put up with it.

I was on dating apps for a bit but this sub has inspired me to delete the apps for now and just work on what I love. I think I'm going to try and do that until I don't feel "needy" anymore. This sub has also helped me realize that it's not just the men in my life.... it's my whole life.

tl;dr As a child I tried very very hard to be the "poster child" and get good grades, impress the adults, and all that, and a lot of stuff I did was never for myself but what was the "right" thing to do to get approval from adults. This got a little better (I started developing more of my own personality) in college but I clearly remember seeing other girls' walls decorated with stuff in the dorms and my own blank, boring desk + computer, and realizing that I had never done anything FOR MYSELF. Or even explored what /I/ like and what /I/ want to do rather than what "looks good" on paper, either for parents, school applications, teacher, later on men, yadda yadda.

I've gotten much better at this in the years since and have a much stronger sense of self, but still struggle all the time with people pleasing, being "nice," and weak boundary setting. I wouldn't say I agree with absolutely every little detail in the handbook (e.g. in certain situations I think it's fine to offer to pay for half) but overall I think it's so great that this sub encourages women to lift each other up and not compete against one another. The female friendships in my life have been some of the best and most wholesome, and I always hated how the media portrayed girls as catty and backstabbing to one another.

Anyway rambling aside nice to meet everyone and I'm glad to be here :)

Forest_Fanatic · 2021-03-29T11:26:56+00:00

I just wanted to post a comment about how thankful I am for having found FDS. I actually found the sub quite some time ago but didn't initially join - just visited most days to read the handbook and all the comments. It really was eye opening, and liberating, to read other women's posts about things I have felt for SO long, but was told were completely "crazy". Gaslighting and abuse really severely affects both your physical and mental health, but it's just so hard to see it when you're deep in it, and have been for so long.

That's why having women's voices on here and being given such informative commentary is so crucial. Finding this community of like-minded women has been amazing!

Since then I've left my 13 year marriage, started an honours program and am working part-time helping other abused women. I feel so much happier and more confident every day :)

The thing I still struggle with is 'finding my voice' and posting comments on here. It still feels daunting, since the women on here are on fire! Does anyone else feel like this?

Anyway, hugs to you all, and thank you :D

ComfortableHead3 · 2021-03-30T22:54:13+00:00

^{Currently reading}

Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All Hardcover – March 2, 2021

^by ^{Laura Bates} ^(Author)

^{I would suggest to those here...but be warned, it's not easy to read. Sorry, I don't know how to get the font right sized in the post.}

AineofTheWoods · 2021-03-31T23:48:55+00:00

I recently stopped online dating because I noticed that after a year of being on there my depression was returning and I was starting to get super low. What surprised me was that my depression improved by about 40% a few days after I deleted the dating app. In the space of one week, I did some sewing, bought myself a drill and taught myself how to use it, rearranged my garden and started working on my business.

Dating apps seem to drain my energy and make me very depressed, because I just can't seem to find who I am looking for on there. I'm looking for a man who is respectful, where there is mutual attraction, shared values and goals, maybe some shared hobbies so our lifestyles match, and for him to be a good person ie not a cheating abusive psychopath like my ex. Yet all I got, after YEARS of using these apps, were mostly disrespectful, half hearted men, who don't share my hobbies, interests, values or goals and where there is usually mismatched attraction. I found that all the men who were keen on me I was either not attracted to or they were what I call Red Flaggers, and all the ones I was interested in just ghosted me. I got a lot of likes and matches but I also got ghosted A LOT. I know that if I am rejecting men, I have to be ok with being rejected, but when I reject men, unless they are scary, I say why ie "I think you seem like a good bloke but I'm into xyz and you're into abc so I can't see us being a match."

Being ghosted means you're just left wondering what you said wrong, or was it that he met someone else, or was never bothered in the first place, or maybe it was my looks etc ie it triggers rumination and starts to wear away at your self esteem if it keeps happening.

I accept that I'm not in the best place in my life, and I'm working on that again, but I don't think I can ever use these apps again, because every time the whole process of being on there seems to make me extremely depressed. The dilemma is, how do I meet decent men when groups etc are illegal, and when every man I meet currently ie through work, is not single? I always return to the apps for this reason, then get very depressed and have to leave, so I've been a terrible cycle of this for years. Women who have found good, moral, attractive, non cheating men are really incredibly lucky.

HlGHFIVE · 2021-04-01T21:43:17+00:00

Was talking to a guy who seemed invested, sweet, and highly interested in me.

We'd been sending video chats back and forth and I sent him one of me talking and he took some screenshots. He then showed me the screenshots and I asked him to delete them because I thought they were ugly.

He said "No.... they're not that bad. Plus, these are the only pictures I have of you."

I told him "that is a terrible reason not to delete them." I already knew I was going to block him by this point.

He said "Not as terrible as your reasoning for wanting me to delete them. Besides, these are just between me and you, no one else has them so they're special."

So, you're disrespecting me to my face over shitty screenshots of me talking, mid-sentence. Because you want to have "special" photos of me that no one else has. Do you not realize that you're getting ghosted for this? And now you're just the creep who has these pictures of me that I specifically asked you to delete, and now you're never going to see me again and we're never going to talk?

BTW this guy is handsome, jacked, and has a career, friends, and hobbies. Wolf in sheep's clothing much?

What a dumb fuck.

Mimieuxmieux · 2021-04-02T00:13:41+00:00

[deleted]

the_moocher80 · 2021-03-29T15:44:09+00:00

Grey rock him! Don’t get involved in any discussions regarding dating, sex or dogs! x

freakfollow · 2021-04-01T04:14:05+00:00

I got my second raise of the year this week, which was +10k in base pay and +40k in other compensation. My first raise was another +$15k in base and bonus.

The best part in all this is that I'm single and ain't none of that dough going to some LVM. Men don't appreciate anything anyway.

FDS taught me how to handle men at work, ngl I wouldn't be where I am without this subreddit.

GiraffeLibrarian · 2021-03-29T12:43:31+00:00

Permanently deleted the only dating app I’ve used, never looking back. Thank you ladies for helping!!

SlackLifesentence · 2021-04-01T10:30:21+00:00

Hey I’m a lit/philosophy student and I’m building an Anarchist Library of radical feminism and related topics! I looked through our book list and the books are mostly about dating and relationships . When I looked it up I was hoping to find more titles like

-Backlash, Susan Faludi -The Feminine Mystique, Betty Freidan -The Beauty Myth, Naomi Watts -Anarchism, Emma Goldman -Anything by Andrea Dworkin but particularly Pornography and Hating Women (these are both expensive out of print books for some reason???? Hating women is 100$ and you can’t get a digital copy, it’s crazy)

Most of these books I was originally recommended here on this sub.

I already bought and have started distributing most of the books above, all except Hating Women. looking for more books about radical feminist philosophy and related topics.

I know you guys have a wealth of knowledge about this, what else should we read?

logickilledthecat · 2021-03-29T10:36:22+00:00

I want to share two of the most savage female incelgram accounts that are out there. One roasts boomer men who set their age range to 16-30. The other is geared more towards bios. Both get shadowbanned regularly by incelgram so can't post their full names here in the open (male lurkers). The audiences should connect.

Dazzling_Moose_6575 · 2021-03-29T22:57:36+00:00

I was already seeing someone when I found FDS and he has a lot of green flags and is looking like he might be a HVM. How do I adjust expectations more towards FDS without it being weird? He was paying for everything at the beginning (I would cook for him and buy the groceries about once a week) but when we started dating I had just lost my job. Now that I'm working again, I started paying for things since that's how I always did it before. He never argued with me about it but would also just order dinner or buy my stuff at the convenience store without making a big deal of it. It feels weird. I haven't really offered to pay recently, but just telling him I'm hungry and expecting him to order take out (can't go out that much because of covid restrictions) feels weird. I say thank you every time, but I keep feeling like he thinks I'm entitled. This is all in my head, he's never said anything about it and always automatically pays when we go out, but it's hard to get over.

spicyshihtzu · 2021-03-30T22:14:49+00:00

Google Photos surprised me this morning after I realized it had been saving all the photos I took and saved, including screenshots of texts with ex boyfriends, for the past couple years. what a cringe fest! After reading FDS, learning to value myself, increasing my confidence, improving my life through hobbies/fitness, and listening to The Universe Guru's tips on avoiding "the girlfriend trap" never again will I settle for less than what I deserve and want. I've learned being trapped in a relationship is a myth, you can always get out and you should always be willing to leave! I mostly lurk on here but thank you to everyone who comments and preaches self love above everything else ♥

taroenthusiast · 2021-03-29T14:47:30+00:00

Been reading and connecting with myself these few days 💕💕

makesmetired · 2021-03-29T13:40:13+00:00

I only come on Reddit to read FDS and I think it's time for me to migrate to the official website instead. This site is like an angry LVM haven and I hate everything about it lol

whokilledhydra · 2021-03-30T18:09:03+00:00

Thought this fit here.

Icefind · 2021-04-01T11:50:09+00:00

"Rough sex gone wrong, woman dead"

After you start to question porn and so called breath play, you start to see these 'incidents' in a whole new light. And when I say incidents, I mean murders.

notyourcouchpotato · 2021-04-02T13:27:14+00:00

I would looove to see the podcast address a few things:

1) How it’s now a disgrace to be vanilla (everyone should have kinds and fetishes, apparently) 2) Popular music of today (lots of misogyny, especially in rap music) 3) Comments such as “my throat is empty” and “I just wanna 🧎🏼‍♀️” on tiktok. Lots of young girls have been posting these things and I find it a wee bit concerning 4) Other podcasts such as CHD (are they good for feminism?)

I’ve listened to the first two podcasts so far and they were great! Keep up the excellent work!

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-03-29T09:47:02+00:00

sooo how does everyone avoid a marilyn monroe moment when wearing skirts and dresses😫 what kinds of materials should I avoid?

probably_a_weirdo · 2021-04-02T14:02:16+00:00

I’m new to the sub and didn’t want to clog up the regular feed (couldn’t find anything ruling against new member posts but not seeing any) but just have to spill my guts a bit.

This sub has brought me more relief and clarity about my own feelings in the last few days than anything else has in my whole life. I have stopped myself from crying (why?) a few times just from the sheer joy of finding a community I have been unknowingly seeking for a long time. I have so much more to say, but for now I just want to say hello and thank you. I’m so excited to be here.

_insert_username_01 · 2021-03-30T17:20:01+00:00

This morning, I posted onto another subreddit asking for tips and tricks. Could you ladies also answer my question too? Thank you!

Summary: Next year, I [19] will be a sophomore in university. This last year, I have been a remote student enrolled in online classes due to the COVID-19 pandemic. (In addition to this, I also saved $25,000+ due to being enrolled in online classes.) My parents are losing their control over me hence why last night, they physically and verbally abused me. I am currently applying for part-time jobs for the summer and plan to enroll in online classes for the summer too. I also have my dorm room and roommate selected too. What else can I do to prepare to move onto campus for fall semester in university?

myoklife · 2021-03-31T22:35:28+00:00

Just need to vent. Having a crappy, boring spring break off from work and my head has been drifting to some unpleasant topics. The usual - I'm ugly, gonna die alone, etc. I have been trying to keep my mind occupied and it kind of works but not super well.

I dated a guy over a year ago for about six months. He was a classic LVM. Porn addict, mommy issues, 0 emotional intelligence, 0 attempts at therapy despite great need, hung up on exes, self-obsessed, etc. He broke up with me over text and I moved on quick. Not to other men but I didn't miss his company for long since he really dragged me down. Unfortunately I internalized a lot of what he said and did to me, and while I don't think of him much, I am still trying to get over those issues.

So of course today is his bimonthly attempt to reach out and gaslight me! I don't know how he keeps getting around the block or if it's on my end. I always delete his messages and block immediately when they come, but he finds a way. This time the message went straight to my phone which makes me think he got another number but I can't verify this as I forget (deleted) his old number.

Allow me to paraphrase: Hi, I'm trying to contact you again with complete disregard for your request for me to never contact you again and lack of response to my last messages. I have spent the last months overanalyzing our relationship. First I blamed you, but now I figured it out! We are just different people who aren't compatible. It has nothing to do with my lack of respect for anyone except me. You just want what I can't give you and is unreasonable for you to expect of a man (respect)! Also, I know I used this as an excuse the whole time we were dating, but I just rediscovered I have ADHD. So my bad treatment of you wasn't because you are uninteresting or stupid, it's the ADHD! Anyways I'll contact you again in a few months, hope you don't still hate me!

exhalefierceness · 2021-04-01T03:54:24+00:00

I know this is out of fear and pure anxiety, but how can one stop believing that our LVM exes can turn into HVM and get their happy ending?

I guess I’ve watched way too many “romantic” movies/soaps and even the assholes get the woman at the end.

kami745 · 2021-04-01T14:19:48+00:00

Why do men hate women so much?

sadlibrarian · 2021-04-02T12:39:36+00:00

I get a kick out of reporting men with aggressively sexual OLD profiles. Feels so good knowing their thirsty musty asses will boohoo after losing their 'access' to free pussy

Would also love to report those terrible men who constantly delete and remake their profiles just because their desperate faces annoy me

numbers213 · 2021-04-02T13:08:40+00:00

The only male attention I'm willing to accept right now is from 2 of my cats. If being a "crazy" cat lady means having some amazing pets ill glad be that cat lady.

licoricespicedtea · 2021-03-29T14:05:06+00:00

My ex just keeps validating my decision to break up with him. It’s great. I posted in the last weekly thread that he went on a date 4 days after we broke up (3 year relationship and I’m still in the process of moving out). He also updated his tinder profile 5 days before I broke up with him. That was LOL enough already.

Since last Thursday he has: - sent me actually a very thoughtful apology email detailing the ways in which he was a dipshit after having a heart to heart with his brother. This was nice validation and seemed pretty genuine. He said he wanted to take some time to be single and work on his issues. Great good for him. But he must have short term memory loss because in the 3 days after that he: - asked me if I wanted to be fwb. I said “what? Because the sex was so good?” He said “I’m certain it would be better now!” Bro. Why would it be. This man could not find my clit in 3 years. I put his finger exactly on it once and he said he did not notice anything felt different than anywhere else in that area. - 12 hours after this proposition went on another date and said he’ll “probably be home tonight”. I told him to be careful of herpes.

I think he’s confused, selfish, and lacks self awareness more than malicious. Either way I don’t want to date him, but I’m actually excited for how much hilarity will ensue in the next month before I move out.

He’s also considering buying a $3000 dog.

gingerandlime · 2021-03-29T14:08:33+00:00

Finally made myself an FDS-only account so I can start participating instead of just lurking!

In a month I'll be fully vaccinated and ready to be open to dating again for the first time since starting to understand FDS (still playing it safe covid-wise, only outdoor dining, keeping an eye on local numbers and so on). I'm so curious how that'll go, I'm aware I may fall back into old patterns and have to catch myself along the way but I'm so hopeful for myself and the standards I now have for my own behavior.

secularwitch · 2021-03-31T10:22:02+00:00

What should I do with scrotes in my DMs here? I cannot report their messages from my browser. Can I report them? Should I give their names to mods, if so, which mods?

RoyallyDreamin · 2021-04-02T08:07:36+00:00

Hi, how can I stop being physically intimidated by men?

I absolutely hate it when men think they can beat you into submission or physically get in your space to control you. The males in my family have been doing this to make themselves feel like a man and now I flinch or hate being around men in general. I don't want their actions to affect how I act around men in the future. Please any advice?

Gargamel_and_Azrael · 2021-04-02T17:57:56+00:00

There is a top post asking 'sex workers what is the saddest request they've received from a client,' which demonstrates to me how much men just think of themselves and seek women's empathy. And here they seek it from potentially exploited women. They can't even see past themselves.

2021-04-01T00:19:01+00:00

Totally random but I had a comment auto-removed stating that I was identified as male? But I'm not!? Are there trigger words/phrases that I should be avoiding?

PossiblyJennay · 2021-04-02T01:15:16+00:00

What was the biggest aha moment when you were leveling up?

hsiskndkdk · 2021-04-02T04:06:24+00:00

Why aren’t we taught enough how selfish, greedy, and egotistical men are especially in their early 20s? We are so naive, innocent, giving and have to endure pain from them...for what?

Why don’t more women teach girls how to safeguard their heart, their self-esteem, their value?

I am bitter and hurt but lucky I found this subreddit at 21. Nobody taught me anything about dating. I feel like i’ve lost a part of myself after a bad relationship and i just can’t see the positives.

slowoceanic · 2021-04-02T18:54:42+00:00

Feeling really disappointed that I didn't take this all to heart sooner...

SolunaJune · 2021-03-30T22:28:33+00:00

I removed a friend from my life a year ago by blocking and deleting. I got to the point I couldn't have this person in my life anymore. The constant drama, negativity, the outright meanness and hostility. It was causing me more stress than anything. I exiled that toxic monster out of my life. Yes, he was a NVM. Probably narcissistic. I was only friends with him because of a mutual hobby. But I finally blocked and deleted him.

I recently had a mutual male "friend" argue on their behalf, telling me I should call them and make up. And I told this mutual male friend a very polite fuck no and the reasons why. This mutual "friend" is clearly on this toxic monster's side, hence the quotes. And now they've started mentioning this toxic monster in conversation with me in an attempt to keep at me about it. Unfortunately, I have to work with this mutual "friend" so I don't know how to avoid it. I've taken to limiting my contact with them as much as possible, but I know they're going to try again when the chance arises. Anyone have any advice on what I could say to this "friend" to finally get them off my back about not having anything to do with toxic monster ever again?

As an aside, I'm mad at myself for explaining my reasons and having to defend them. I realized that next time a very pointed "I don't owe you any explanations, it's my life." is all I'm going to say, because it seems like people who fight you on your reasons have no interest in respecting them. They just want what they want.

PirateFairyPants8 · 2021-04-01T07:22:38+00:00

Can I just say this place has changed some deep fundamental things in me and I absolutely love how I feel. Thank you all!

MissMisnomer · 2021-04-02T01:23:41+00:00

Can we talk about MTV's Catfish? I'm watching the new season on Hulu and I just 🤮. All the red flags... on both sides, catfish and catfishee most times. Good grief. Thoughts?

Partypuppers · 2021-04-03T11:59:18+00:00

I wanted to do a '1 year on' post-break up check in.

As I mentioned above, I broke up with my ex just over a year ago after 7 years together. I was absolutely devastated at the time and was ugly crying into my pillow at night (for weeks I might add). At the time I thought I'd made a terrible mistake as he wasn't a terrible person and we had an overall good relationship. He was also my best friend.

However, we were long distance and when we were together he increasingly started relying on me to do ALL the emotional labour of the house and manage his life too. I would encourage him to brush his teeth 🤮, I would help him with his CV 🙃, I would have to nag him to clean up after himself 🤡, I would encourage him to go to therapy for his depression (which he didn't do) and a million other things that made me feel like a mum and made me feel resentful.

After the incredible amount of pain I had to go through to grieve the end of our relationship (not easy during lockdown!), I am in a much better place.

I'm so glad I didn't shackle myself to him, that I trusted myself and loved myself enough to walk away from a situation that was unfair on me. I see things more clearly as more time goes on and while (after some time with no contact) we have managed to remain amicable friends, I am so glad that we can maintain our friendship without having to be in a relationship together lol.

Hooray to being single, to finding your inner peace. Thank you to all you FDS sisters who kept me strong in my time of pain and reminded me I deserved better.

I wanted to write this so that anybody struggling with a breakup could know that it gets better ❤️

originallykoko · 2021-04-03T20:11:31+00:00

Should a woman offer to pay on the second or third date? Or do we just let them pay?

Still navigating this world of dating as a high value woman. Unfortunately, low value beliefs have been ingrained in the women around me.

2021-04-04T16:02:01+00:00

This is hella off-topic, but I don't know where else to post about it.

Do any of you remember the "Cash me outside" girl from Dr. Phil? Who then went on to have a pretty big social media following, under her rap name Bhad Bhabie? Well, she just turned 18, and the first thing she did was open an OF, bringing in $1mil on the first. I am just so saddened by the state of things. Sad that a young girl who already had fame and money chose to do this, and sad that so many people jumped on a subscription.

Meredeen · 2021-03-31T23:30:15+00:00

I saw a thread recently where the woman kicked her boyfriend out, and the pinned top comment from one mod said "don't break all of FDS rules and then post about it" and the post was like deleted and everything (the user was also deleted, maybe the user deleted? dunno). I read it via removeddit, mod had a point there, I agree. But then there was another comment in the thread that another mod commented on saying "approved for emphasis" that was against pornography which is obviously great but going through that person's comment history, they're a man, that's why she 'approved' it...?

IMO rule 1 is rule 1 no matter what, dunno why mods can pick and choose when to enforce rules. Gave me kind of an off taste in my mouth.

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-03-30T21:57:59+00:00

Hahaha I'm so sick of college! I'm not going back after this semester. I genuinely can't take any more. I no longer get help with childcare. I'm struggling to complete homework on time because of it. The workload has only gotten worse with the pandemic. My grades are slipping. One of my teachers is the worst writing teachers I've ever had. She has insane expectations and she's condescending in nearly every interaction with the class. I'm regularly putting out university level work at a shitty community college and I'm getting F's because I don't write like a middle schooler.

I'm sorry for this, y'all. I'm trying to keep my cool because my top-tier analysis of Paradise Lost apparently has "too many words" for my peer-reviewer to keep up with. If he thinks I'm using too many words, he's clearly never read Milton. 🙄

extralargepeas · 2021-04-01T14:14:15+00:00

So I'm a complete newbie here, but I found this sub after posting on a relationship advice sub. One of the users here sent me a DM and told me about this place.

After doing some reading, I've wanted to discuss something with someone who might be more versed in FDS. So, we all know that men regularly avoid going to therapy or anything that involves working on their mental/emotional health. I've seen often that when they do go therapy often it can be weaponized. How can you tell if a man is discussing going to therapy in order to use it as a power play or if they're genuinely wanting to discuss their therapy? I feel confused by a lot of the games men play within the realm of dating in general and this topic is no exception. Any comments/ideas?

Sanne592 · 2021-04-03T20:31:37+00:00

So the guy I’ve been dating for the past 6 weeks broke it off cause he thought we weren’t a right match. I was a bit sad, but it’s so much easier not to get hung up on it thanks to FDS. If he really wanted to, he would’ve made it work. I deserve someone who would move mountains for me. 💁🏻‍♀️

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-04-04T02:40:04+00:00

I’ve noticed something with heterosexual couples that has me baffled. As a cashier, I’ve noticed a trend of the woman always paying whilst the man will either not come into the shop at all, or they will order together and stand as far away as possible from the cash register when it’s time to pay🤢🤢🤢 what is going on??? I KNOW FOR A FACT that she’s paying for his stuff too. The total is never more than £20 either.

throwawaychick8357 · 2021-03-31T05:11:19+00:00

I also wanted to share today with everyone because it was such a great day and I felt good about myself.

tl;dr got a haircut. decided to get a nice drink before. arrived almost when store was closing and they gave me the drink... FOR FREE! because they had extra anyway and due to coronavirus they were only taking online orders (despite me being only 1 min late and all the workers + ingredients are still there). then my ex kept bothering me to see where i got the free drink from so i told him to pay up for the intel and conned him out of $5. then i got a lovely haircut and the hairstylist even went as far as giving me some beautiful waves so i feel great and happy :) how is everyone else's day.

leafleaf7711 · 2021-04-01T00:47:44+00:00

I’m going out of town in three weeks, and I’ve been single since before the apocalypse started. I kind of want a confidence boost while I’m away (so I’ll never run into them again), but I have no idea how to go about it. Dating apps? Just hanging around places? How do I do it safely with Covid?

Haven’t dated like this ever. Always just dated friends or friends of friends, etc, so any advice on how to meet new people away from home would be appreciated.

Trinityblue93 · 2021-04-02T17:16:15+00:00

To my Anime watch queen that read Attack on Titan: How disappointed are we in Mikasa?

Edit: I've been disappointed but she just reached a new low for me

cici_sweetheart · 2021-04-03T13:46:59+00:00

Okay, I met a guy on spring break in Miami 🥴. From the little he has shown me he is a sweet man. We’ve been talking and texting on the phone for about a week now. I live on the east coast and he lives on the west coast. He has offered to fly me out and told me I could stay with him. I refused and told him I wanted to come out there with my friends first and make it a girls trip and he can take me out while I’m there. He was fine with that and started telling all the places he wanted to take me, but my friends say I’m crazy they would’ve taken the free flight. I said no because I don’t know him that well and I don’t want to be in a house alone or obligated or pressured to do anything while I’m there and if things go south I’m there alone with a psycho. I wanted to fill him out more. He has never brought up sex or anything but from my past experiences I just don’t feel safe. Did I do the right thing? Is not allowing him to fly me out FDS approved?

Great_username_kim · 2021-04-04T18:55:18+00:00

I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was a kid (36 F now). Ironically, my ex boyfriend introduced this sub to me. Needless to say he was very clearly not the “one”. I’m trying to concentrate on myself now, journaling out my anger about the many LVM I let into my life. You all have helped me more than you could ever know. I began to make appointments for a new therapist, and taking care of my body as well. I have my down days where I drink some Prosecco and eat pizza, but then I wake up thinking it’s okay to always begin your day one again. Continue to be strong you warriors, and thank you for everything!

AineofTheWoods · 2021-03-31T23:56:25+00:00

Also, what's the deal with men on dating apps always starting the conversation in an over familiar way saying 'Hey AineoftheWoods' rather than hi or hello. I know this seems like a trivial matter, but it bugs me, because in my opinion 'hey' is not respectful for a woman a man has just met and wants to date. 'Hey' means 'Yeah I'm not too bothered about you, I'm not too attracted to you and I'm only half hearted, but you'll do for sex I suppose.' Whereas Hi/Hello usually mean that they are interested, respectful and don't want to come across overly familiar ie it's more gentlemanly, like in the days of dating before dating apps and sites. Maybe I'm just old fashioned and was born in the wrong era but immediate over familiarity instantly makes me feel a bit fed up with them.

sikulet · 2021-04-04T23:20:35+00:00

The guy I’ve been talking to for a month installed Snapchat today and I reacted really badly. As in crying badly.

It was just so triggering that I’ve always pegged Snapchat as a cheating app where photos all disappear and it’s a huge giant red flag and it made my heart sink in disappointment so bad.

The guy in question got offended because he thinks Snapchat is just a fun social media site and that when my thinking went to this mode clearly I don’t trust him.

yoursultana · 2021-04-01T02:33:41+00:00

[removed]

cici_sweetheart · 2021-04-03T13:54:05+00:00

I had already planned to go to the west coast this summer with my friends

oddcharm · 2021-04-04T05:25:00+00:00

I found this comment on a thread about noticing an increase in the amount of incels on reddit: https://ibb.co/yyNJTdj

Wtf is this person trying to say? Men need special support to get them to go to therapy? (You know because why would they do that when they have women to use!) LMAO how do almost 300 people agree with this 😂

IllustriousBerry-422 · 2021-04-04T21:26:54+00:00

[deleted]

Subject_Ticket · 2021-04-04T22:52:35+00:00

HI does anyone have access to the Vindicta subreddit? I was browsing it a long time ago and it's definitely not for me, but some of the posts really stuck me and one post in particular!

It was one of the top posts of all time about how society only values effortless beauty and men shame both women who don't get plastic surgery, and the ones who do get surgery so women can't win.

That post and comments totally changed my life, the women on that subreddit have a great understanding of how the patriarchy works. I think it would be really beneficial for that post to be posted here too so FDS members can see it.

HlGHFIVE · 2021-04-05T11:39:57+00:00

I'm checking in again! Posting here has been helping me avoid romantic tragedy and heartbreak so I hope no one minds!

I'm socially active in a group which has really fun game nights of about 10 people at a time.

Theres a man who plays with us, and me and him have a certain chemistry. Recently he's made it clear that he has a crush on me and I feel the same. It was one of those slow-developing attractions. Staying up late and playing games, inadvertently learning about how his mind works, and his voice is so sexy which doesn't help.

It seems romantic on the surface. We have mutual interests, good chemistry, and we make each other laugh. The sexual tension is also delicious.

But it's also clear he has no idea how high my standards are, and he's already ruined everything within just two nights of us talking one on one.

I think I need to take a break from the group as a whole just to give myself distance from him until this fades. I know I don't even need to elaborate to you ladies on why it's a bad idea to let more feelings develop.

It just sucks. Haven't felt this way about someone in a while - truly attracted to who they are up until they change completely when you become a romantic prospect. We worked better as friends when he had no idea that our attraction was mutual. Farewell my sexy "love interest."

Title	Weekly FDS Chat/ Check In
Author	Unlikely-Marzipan
Upvotes	98
Comments	188
Date	March 29, 2021 9:14 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mflgwq/weekly_fds_chat_check_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/weekly-fds-chat-check-in.779098 https://theredarchive.com/post/779098