Age Gap Relationships Discussion Thread

JobPlus2382 · 2021-08-14T17:56:56+00:00

As long as they kinda follow the age/2 +7 rule I think it's fine.

relish5k · 2021-08-14T15:20:41+00:00

Y'all who are so triggered by Woody Allen and Soon-Yi should probably also let Celine Dion know she has Stockholm Syndrome. Poor woman is mourning her husband and father of her children in blissful ignorance.

(The relationship between Celine Dion and her husband is totally squicky in its origins and almost certainly an example of grooming. And yet...it worked out, they were happy. Massive age differences in relationships have a high potential to be abusive and explorative but potential /= necessity)

Vectorable · 2021-08-14T12:02:14+00:00

Feminist here. My long term boyfriend is 6 years older that me, we've been together 8 years.

I can quiet honestly say that I have always liked older men. I find most younger men to be immature, have no focus and a bit annoying. Great as friends, I have a lot of male friends, but not for a relationship. Even the same age is difficult for me to comprehend but this might change when I'm in my 30s, as I like that age in men!

peachycreaam · 2021-08-14T02:23:14+00:00

this tired ass debate again.

secondly, I’ve said it before on this sub and I’ll say it again, I don’t know why you people think that all or most women in their 20s look like damn Kendall Jenner. Even so-called feminists make it seem like this is the case. Not all young women have the world at their fingertips so to speak. So they aren’t “losing” anything really by dating an older man.

ChadThundagaCock · 2021-08-13T05:13:59+00:00

Is age just a number or isn't it

billsull_02842 · 2021-08-13T02:22:26+00:00

maybe they are looking for mature men with mature bank accounts.

M_LaSalle · 2021-08-12T23:49:40+00:00

Does this mean that individuals who still choose to participate in age gap relationships are damaged or abnormal, or are they finding a way to get what they need out of the dating world?

An answer to this question depends on understanding what it is people actually want/need out of the dating world.

A young woman who chooses an older, established man over the slacker who age who lives in his parent's basement would not appear to be damaged or abnormal.

Neither would a young man who chooses an older woman who is feminine, pleasing to look at, has taken care of herself, and knows what she wants over a fat girl with bad ink in yoga pants who lives on instagram.

It's like gold. It's where you find it. I'm sure there are people who enter age gap relationships for bad reasons, but then there are people who enter same age relationships for bad reasons.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-08-12T18:43:33+00:00

If you break the ((n/2)+7) rule, you're getting judged.

PickleLine · 2021-08-12T17:26:51+00:00

Why do women act like older women are higher value than younger women?

"not being able to get women your age" doesn't mean anything when older women expect more but give less than younger women.

The younger woman is higher value because she gives more

InevitablePurple1183 · 2021-08-12T01:21:06+00:00

I could not give less of a shit what consenting adults of sound mind do with each other. It's none of my goddamn business, nor the business of anyone else not participating in the relationship, and the people that make it their business are pathetic busybodies that need to take a greater concern in their own lives.

goldenstatewaves · 2021-08-12T01:05:14+00:00

I'm in my 40s and I've had mostly Age Gap relationships over the last 6+ years. My biggest age gap was about 20 years, and I'm currently dating someone who is more than 15 years younger than I am.

The younger women I have dated are energetic. They like going out and doing shit. They like going to concerts and festivals and when we travel, they like doing exciting shit. They are adventurous. Women my age and older always seem tired, and they don't want to try new things.

The older women I have dated are locked into a 10-15 year music period and rarely are even open to listening to anyone new or a music genre outside of something they're already into. How boring is that? I don't want to listen to fucking Adele or Beyonce or fucking Coldplay or No Doubt all day and night on an endless fucking loop.

I hate nostalgia. People wallowing in their perceived past greatness, or their belief that things when they were young were better, is all so pathetic to me. The Friend's reunion. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reunion. #TBT social media posts. I don't want anything to do with that shit, but people in my age range, it's all they can talk about. I had a helluva time in my 20s and 30s...but you know what? I'm having an even better time NOW. I want a woman who lives in the present.

Also, women my age have unbelievable fucking baggage. Look....I've had a fair amount of shitty relationships too, but I'm not going to carry those issues into my new relationships. I'm not going to carry those battles and wars into a new relationship. How hopeless would that be? Isn't the point of a relationship to be happy and to make your partner happy? How can you be happy if you're wallowing in past failures and past bullshit?

I am also dating a woman who is just two years younger than me - same age range - and she is adventurous and fun, she enjoys the past but isn't stuck in it...but holy fuck, does she have baggage. We revisit her baggage at least once or twice every month. If it isn't her tough upbringing, it's all the men that have fucked her over. My younger girlfriends might mention shit like that once...maybe...and it's in the context of "...geezus christ I was dating this loser, I'm glad I shook him and met you". That's the shit I want to hear.

ChadThundagaCock · 2021-08-11T21:37:35+00:00

At 23 I met a 15 year old turning 16 in college. Her maturity was much higher than her years would suggest. It was fun seeing each other and trying to play it off like we weren't going out. And lying about our ages. She turned 16 very quick which made me feel better. She was the one girl I could cry on her lap without getting disrespected after. To this day she is the only girl I would consider marrying. Sweet little Montana girl.

Washington state...before you come in and try to shame me. Everything was legal.

FuckinCreepy · 2021-08-11T19:58:26+00:00

I want to find an older guy just because I've always had that attraction. I'm 32. I think it's been so hard to find because pop culturally we don't have the same interests.

ArachnoPhobia19 · 2021-08-11T17:26:29+00:00

My personal two cents about this situation: People of both genders who pursue relationships with people who are much younger than them(or any other vulnerable situations) deliberately either don't get along with people having a similar demography as them or have some ulterior motives. Now I am not talking about DiCaprio types that only date PYTs under 20 or the pretty girls who "date" ugly but old rich kinda guys. Those are pretty standard and I can understand the reasons. I also understand girls liking hot older guys over ugly younger guys and younger guys going for old plus hot women. I would say the problematic relationships are older guys (even the considerably even high value ones) going for younger girls who bring nothing to the table except their supposedly tight vagina, and younger women going for weird shit older men who have nothing to offer.

Sewud · 2021-08-11T04:38:36+00:00

I mean it's pretty clear. The more men and women are equal, the more it's going to be equal pairing. Obviously men and women cannot be fully equal as long as one has testosterone and the other bears children, and as long as one is much more likely to rape the other, but by equality I mean access to jobs and money.

The ONLY reason for older men to date younger women was not "biology", it was that back in the day you needed to PURCHASE a woman, so the older men had accumulated enough money to PURCHASE women, and there was no point for women to wait to get married if they were not going to be accumulating money.

But as soon as women are expected to do the same amount of education and earn their own money, then the age gap disappears. It was never about biology.

The other thing that works against age gaps is that nowadays we have more means of sort of redistributing our earnings throughout our life. We get student loans and usually someone who is on a good path to get a good career is already fine even before they start their career. It's not true anymore that a man needs to be in his 30s and to have gotten to a certain place in his career to get a wife. Nowadays it's more like two young people will get together and just get old together and when they get a bit older they might upgrade their house or get more comfortable at least.

Aikido_Flow · 2021-08-11T04:04:19+00:00

No amount of social engineering will change the fact that men are attracted to youth and beauty in women and women are attracted to resources and status in men, exceptions notwithstanding. That's why such discussion are immaterial in the grand scheme of things.

PickleLine · 2021-08-11T02:11:10+00:00

One thing women don't understand is how scarce/valuable it is for a woman to be very attracted to a man. When that happens, everything else goes out the window and stops mattering.

Younger women have more of an ability to become very attracted to a man than older women. Older women have become jaded and of course, their higher N-count and prior dating experiences have ruined their ability to really like a man.

All men really want is a woman who is attracted and truly loves them. Younger women are more able than older women to achieve this goal. Younger women have a lower N-count and are more valuable not just looks wise but also personality and relationship wise.

BitchMenudo · 2021-08-11T01:19:03+00:00

Im 20f and my boyfriend is 35. It’s only 15 years so I suppose that’s rookie numbers compared to most age gap relationships. Either way, I don’t mind. He’s the best person I know- I adore the fuck out of that old fart.

I have been working and living on my own since I was 18. There’s no power or money dynamic with him. I make my own money and have my own house. I haven’t met anyone my age who I can relate to at all. I had a rough childhood, Im not even old enough to purchase alcohol or cigarettes but I spent a majority of my teen years in rehab and I am no longer interested in partying. A lot of people my age are just getting into that type of thing while I’m retired from it.

My friends are 27+ so when I met my boyfriend and we started talking, it didn’t feel out of the ordinary. We met at work where he assumed I was around the same age as our other colleagues. That wasn’t the case as I am the youngest person (confirmed) who works in that building. We had already become good friends when he finally asked me how old I was. We were both surprised but I didn’t mind- he probably cared more than I did. I wasn’t going to stop being his friend because of that. Besides, one of my best friends is 35 too so it’s no biggie.

zerofeetpersecond · 2021-08-10T18:10:17+00:00

Women over a certain age have little to offer, men under a certain age have little to offer.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-08-10T17:07:00+00:00

Broadly, I have no problems with age gap relationships, as they make sense on the surface. Personally, my only standard is that I wouldn't want to date a woman seriously who is closer in age to my son than she is to me.

Zredbird13 · 2021-08-10T13:03:12+00:00

It depends on the age of the younger partner. Tbh once you’re over 24/25 then it doesn’t really matter. But, I stand by the fact that a 27+ year old has absolutely no place dating an 18-22 year old. From my experience of seeing friends in age gap relationships at this age, it is not healthy at all. There is firstly a power dynamic at play and secondly an 18-22 year old is not mature no matter how much they believe themselves to be and is very vulnerable to emotional manipulation especially from an older person (power play). This is literally coming from experience, I believed myself to be an adult and know everything at 18 but now I’m older I can see how deluded I was and how much I’ve grown since. I allow a lot less disrespect than I did at 18 and know how to stand up for myself, which I see the same in all my friends. We were all so immature aswell and silly. Also, 18 year olds still look very very young. Tv has us fooled by hiring mid-late 20s actors and actresses to play teenagers but this is not the reality in most cases. At 18 me and my friends were always mistaken for 15/16 year olds. My brother is 18 and him and all his friends look like children to me.

This goes both ways btw, it’s not based on gender. Just as 35 year old Scott Disick dating an 18 year Amelia Hamlin disgusts me, 42 year old Samantha Taylor-Wood dating an 18 year old Aaron Johnson disgusts me just as equally if not more.

relish5k · 2021-08-10T02:15:53+00:00

Big age gap relationships are a "yellow flag" but they can stand the test of time and work. Woody Allen and Soon Yi actually have a nice thing going. And the French PM and his wife. Both started out in dreadfully creepy scenarios but who the fuck cares now if these people are happy

angels-fan · 2021-08-10T01:39:11+00:00

Nearly every young girl would fuck and/or marry Ryan Reynolds or Ryan Gosling or Hugh Jackman.

LowCreddit · 2021-08-09T20:16:34+00:00

My wife is about 10 years younger than me. We are both a bit loony and enjoy each other. I have never had anyone have the guts to say anything to me. If anyone has said anything about it to her other than her sister, she hasn't said anything to me about it. Her sister thought it was weird but my wife and her sister barely tolerate each other.

LittyKitsune · 2021-08-09T17:31:39+00:00

Gotta love it when dudes insist that dating younger women is all good because once you're 18 you're an adult, not an impressionable child, and you can make your own decisions blah blah blah...

And then turn around to let you know you only aren't attracted to older men because older women are brainwashing you. Huh?

King_D0ng · 2021-08-09T16:59:42+00:00

TL;DR: Age gap relationships make up less than half of the difference between young men vsyoung women singleness difference.

I've seen plenty of people claim the singleness differences between young men and women is mostly the result of age gap relationships. Basically that women dating men in the unaccounted for older age brackets is the main cause of the difference. But when you crunch the numbers it doesn't make sense. Here are the sources I used:

Singleness

Population breakdown by age

Age Gap data

From 18-29 there is a 5.5 million person difference between male singleness and female singleness. If you assume age gap relationships are the primary cause that means roughly NET 5.5 million women from 18-29 are dating 30+ men. Going into the 30-49 age bracket, single men still outnumber single women by 8% (3.4 million) despite 5 million 30+ men dating women below age 30. This means there is a NET 9 million of 30-49 women dating aged 50+ men.

Now to find the total women dating aged 50+ men since the 8.4m is difference between 30-49 women dating men over 50 minus the amount of 30-49 men dating women over 50. Using the age gap data we can estimate that there is roughly 3.5x times more older male partners than older female partners in relationships. Total 30-49 women dating aged 50+ men is 10.9 million or 25.8% of all women aged 30-49.

Assuming the amount of 18-29 women dating 50+ men is insignificant (only 1% according to age gap source) we can calculate the expected percentage of aged 30-49 women should be dating aged 50+ men. At age 30, 1% of women are dating aged 50+ men, 2.6% between 31-35, 7.6% from 36 to 40, 18.8% from 41 to 44, 31.6% from 45 to 46, and 51% from 47 to 49. Using weighted average the expected percentage is 17%, not the measured 25.8%. That's a 50% difference between these two numbers adds up to 3.6 million women, not something insignificant. I used the 30-49 age group for this as they are both the highest population and least single age group. Since this age group has the most relationships, the age gap data will be most accurate to this age group.

Alternate explanation, that 3.6 million difference comes mostly from the 18-29 age group where strict monogamy isn't as frequent as later age groups. Basically in the 18-29 age group there is roughly 3.6 million women (14% of 18-29 female population) "sharing" men and/or men and women in "situationships" where the women report as non-single but the men do.Given these numbers and assumption about half of the singleness difference in the 18-29 age group is due to women sharing men or difference in likelihood men/women to report singleness in a "situationship".

As for why the total single percentage is equal, several factors at play. Single men generallydying before married men, and all men generally dying before women all result in a lowering in men’s total singleness % and increasing of women’s total singleness % at the older age groups. Since women outnumber men you would expect men to have a lower singleness percentage than women in a monogamous society, yet they are equal.

wtknight · 2021-08-09T15:37:58+00:00

When the movie "Silver Linings Playbook" was filmed, Bradley Cooper was 37 and Jennifer Lawrence was 21. The movie was very popular and not many women had an issue with the age gap.

Women don't have a problem with age-gap relationships if the man is attractive and if there is seemingly a good love story behind it rather than the man just looking for sex with a much younger woman.

SaBahRub · 2021-08-09T14:38:43+00:00

Age gap relationships were the norm when no one, or at least half the population, couldn’t choose their own partner

Hmmmmmm

passepar2t · 2021-08-09T12:53:58+00:00

What's the youngest y'all have fucked?

I briefly dated a 24-year-old when I was 32 and slept with a 25-year-old when I was 35. It was fine.

otter6461a · 2021-08-09T12:44:51+00:00

Here’s what you need to lean to say:

“I think I’ll date who I want”

goatismycopilot · 2021-08-09T11:23:09+00:00

Most of the age gap relationships I have seen have been younger women/ older men. The LTR ones either ended with the younger woman getting bored and leaving/ divorcing the older man or the younger woman ended up taking care of him when his health declined and was more or less relieved when he died. I have one aquaintance who was married to a younger man and they are getting divorced. I never understood his appeal, he was not good looking and boring to converse with.

4derp · 2021-08-09T10:45:23+00:00

It's just gate keepers trying to force larger sections of available mates into their range through social shame. Having said that, dating/marrying someone much younger is a silly idea because you're more likely to get grifted - Gold diggers and such.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2021-08-09T09:28:32+00:00

I went on several dates with a woman who was 58 at the time (about 30 years older than me). She had kids (all of them had left home). Lookwise: average face, definitely overweight (which she didn't show on her photos).

First time we met, the conversation was decent, she did most of the talking. Second time we met, she stood me up and claimed she was ill. Third time we met, she stormed off after I didn't offer her a drink. Fourth time we met, we got on well, we kissed quite a bit, had drinks and a meal together which I paid for lol. Fifth time we met, we chatted a bit over a drink and kissed at the end.

The conversation on whatsapp turned to sex after the fifth date and she said she was asexual. For me, it was the last straw. She wanted me to pay for drinks and meals (or as she called it "treating her like a lady") while treating me with disrespect and never having sex with me. I should have cut it off after the 2nd date, definitely the 3rd date, but wanted an experience with an older woman so I continued.

Moral of the story: older women are no different to younger women. Most of them haven't mentally matured and are still just as entitled. Bear in mind she was overweight and average face, so I can't imagine what a more attractive older woman would demand.

What does everyone think about this? (in before "not all older women are like that")

EDIT: I met her off OkCupid btw

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2021-08-09T08:00:05+00:00

For me it was definitely related to my dating pool that I somehow ended up dating guys 5-10 years older than me. In my age (29) most people are just already in relationships. I kind of missed a good window to find someone by travelling a lot for internships etc between 23-26, and suddenly there were only a few single men left. And out of those, many are either not relationship material or commitment phobes. There are for sure some suitable singles my age but I didn't find a good match among the few that I met here. But there are lots of single men in their late 30s. In the last 3 years, I only successfully dated two men, and both were 10 years older and divorced.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-08-09T05:10:23+00:00

Consenting adults make decisions, that's pretty much my participation

NarniaFox · 2021-08-09T05:05:17+00:00

I think most people are okay with age gap relationships as long as there aren't red flags like:

huge age difference
the older partner is known for constantly chasing much younger partners
the older partner is known for wanting to "mold and raise a partner" for themselves
the younger partner is known for chasing older wealthy partners

And there are some practical downsides of age gap relationships like different lifestyles, tastes, preferences, higher chances to end up as a widow/widower, having far less active partner, age-related illnesses, erection issues etc.

Personally, I'm just not attracted to older men, these men hitting on me make my skin crawl. I think my acceptable for dating age range is around 3-4 years, but I think that the ideal spot is people of my age. I guess for women the range is a bit wider though, as older women don't really make me feel uneasy or disgusted as older men hitting on me do. I guess it's just because I've never been harassed by women.

Lateralanouncer · 2021-08-09T04:57:05+00:00

It’s perfectly natural. Add the cost of raising a family now days. A providing marriage minded male that didn’t find his high school sweetheart. Will take at least 10-15 years to become successful enough to raise a family. That’s around 35. He will naturally want a younger woman

simeneta_two · 2021-08-09T04:22:11+00:00

One thing I’ve noticed about age gap relationships is they usually look around the same age. For example I have a friend who started dating a 37yo at 23. Thing is she’s been passing for a women in her early 30s since she was in her late teens (not exaggerating…she used to complain to me that people thought she was her dad’s younger wife). Her bf could also pass for closer to his early than late 30s. If you saw them on the street you would have no idea there was a 14yr age difference. I’ve seen the same thing in a lot of large age gap relationships I’ve seen on social media as well.

I think when people hear “age gap” they’re imagining a cute 20yo with a crusty looking 40yo. But in reality if the couple appears age/maturity matched no one actually cares.

neetykeeno · 2021-08-09T03:48:29+00:00

Well there is probably more difference between generations than at most times in history. What would I want with a man fifteen years older than me...or one fifteen years younger? The first would burden me with all his dumbass boomer nonsense and the second would burden me with all their gen y shite. Maybe things were different though, in the mediaeval era when people had much more limited options and the big change in the village over a generation would be something like the cobbler making a very slightly different style of shoe and sleeves being cut a different way...and one could rely upon shorter lifespans to end the whole mess rather earlier.

relish5k · 2021-08-09T03:33:52+00:00

This one is easy - half your age + 7. Don't go lower. Works every time.

Ladyofblades · 2021-08-09T02:53:18+00:00

Age gaps can work, but the people involved in them need to not have a history of chasing younger people. That’s indicative of something maladjusted imo.

A 28 year old with a 38 year old seems fine. A 21 year old with a 40 year old (all gender combinations) seems a red flag

flamingoinghome · 2021-08-09T01:42:51+00:00

Can we be honest about what we're actually referring to when we talk about "age gap relationships"? Is it more than 5 years? More than 10? And most importantly, surely the age of both people, in raw numbers, is relevant? Maybe even the most relevant factor?

I think a 35-year-old dating a 20-year-old is creepy as fuck. A 35-year-old dating a 50-year-old is unusual, but not ringing any great alarm bells. They're the same "age gap."

Willow-girl · 2021-08-09T01:35:30+00:00

Girls, don't do it! He may seem fine now but eventually you'll wear him out, and then what?!

i-am-not-clamscasino · 2021-08-09T01:33:19+00:00

add 7 then divide by 2 is a pretty good rule for it. If you're 25 and below stick to people around your age and try to find "the one". After 30 its free game.

ivy176 · 2021-08-09T01:13:11+00:00

I think its best to date in your age range, but you cant control who you fall for either. If both parties are over 30 then it's personal choice. But if anyone's a teenager or early 20s, age gaps are usually far more problematic. My husband is 10 years older but we're early 30s and early 40s. We feel no sense of generational differences or anything like that. But I had an age gap of just 6 years when I was a teenager and I now realise that was predatory. The younger a person is, the more significant a smaller gap will be. Also with my husband, he only had a history of dating women his age before me, so he had absolutely no fetish for younger. We'd both prefer we were closer in age for some practical and cultural reasons, but it doesn't affect our current life and we have both felt on the same level since the time we met. I was 25 and he was 35 at that time, but things fell into place romantically with him when I was about to turn 30 and he was about to turn 40. We were both going through large life changes a bit before that.. me getting divorced and selling a house.. him buying a house... we were having the same types of focus in our lives but for different reasons. Then we came together after that and our life goals aligned. Also we like a lot of the same music and have similar childhood memories etc. I can't speak for other generations but late gen X and early gen Y just arent very different.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-08-09T00:47:04+00:00

I’m 7 years younger than my partner. He’s the largest age gap I’ve experienced. Youngest I tried was 10 years younger, it was a disaster. I felt like his mom. My preference is same age or within 2 years.

OsoArrogant_Sah-Sah · 2021-08-09T00:19:06+00:00

Lol,the good old AGR topic

sosayeth · 2021-08-09T00:16:52+00:00

Older (thirty plus through early forties) women have gravitated towards me since I was in college. I'm in my early thirties now. Along with that, I've always been much more mature than my peers, so I've long considered many women in my age sphere and younger to be an annoyance. I used to think of this experience as a positive one and a sign of respect, but as I've dated more (in general), I realize it's neither.

Up until recently, two of my main homeboys and I hadn't seen eye to eye with regards to dating younger women, but over the last yearish or so, I've slowly come to the realization their position is the correct one. As (a male) approaching your late twenties and early thirties, pursuing women in your age range and older for marriage is a terrible idea. (Since we all know women hysterically assume an extreme position when someone presents a point they dislike, above statement assumes a reasonable age gap between an older male and younger female of around ten years or so.) To add more fuel to this fire, it was a few of Kevin Samuels' videos on this subject that shook me free of my bias and pushed me over the edge on this subject.

'There's a reason she's in her thirties and has never been married.' Truer words have never been spoken. Up to now, I thought I just 'needed to find the right one,' but the negative characteristics and unhomely qualities found in never-married late twenties, thirty+ year old women are not infrequent - they are endemic.

EleanorAbernathyPhD · 2021-08-08T22:48:29+00:00

I believe age gap relationships are a case by case thing, it depends on the age and motives of each partner.

An 18 and a 23 year old? Dont see the problem. A 20 year old with someone over 30? yeah, I would like to know about the intentions of the older partner.

Ive talked about my former FWB, who I thought was 24 when I met him in 2015 (I was 32) and I just learned his real age last year - He was actually 20! and not only did he looked and behaved like someone much older (when I met him I thought he was 28), he also had more life experience than many of us here together (worked with narcos, dated women older than me since he was in high school, already had a kid and other stuff). He did wanted to have a serious relationship with me but I was very clear since the beginning that it wouldn't happen.

Theres also the case of my great grandparents. My great grandad escaped Mussolinni and hid in a ranch in Mexico where he married my great grandma - he was 32 and she was 14! I never met him but for what Ive heard is that he treated her like a daughter and even called her "nenita" - little girl. I think its super creepy but it was Mexico in the 1930s and it wasn't that weird back then.. They were very happy AFAIK.

And theres also cases like my dad. My dad is a Narcissist who has done a lot of damage to every person that has loved him. He started dating my mom when she was 15 and he was 23 and they got married when she was 19. They divorced in 1994 and my mom still deals with the trauma from their relationship. She's still in therapy and is very angry at how he groomed her and specifically dated her to shape her as he wanted. I honestly feel like he ruined her life (I mean Im glad im here but I would rather see her happy). He has been with his current partner for 20 years, again she was 19 but he was 50 when they met. The difference between her and my mom is that my mom was super naive and came from a good family and the new girl was dirt poor and looking for a sugar daddy. My dad, being the narcissist he is, couldnt feel prouder of dating a 19 year old (there were actually 2 of them who used to get into fist fights when they saw each other, super classy girls). Anyway, the now partner got pregnant on purpose and he still didnt want to marry her so she got pregnant a second time and my dad moved them in with him, still not married her tho. This woman is the most awful human being Ive ever met and now that my dad is 70 she treats him horribly and cheats on him constantly. Im very low contact with him but Ive heard their family life is awful and he doesn't leave because he is old and dont want to live alone anymore.

So, like I said, it depends on the situation. Ive never been attracted to older guys but I could make an exception for Christopher Meloni who looks amazing on the new Mens health lol.

Super-Peoplez-S0Lt · 2021-08-08T22:43:55+00:00

I'm honestly sick and tired of this discussion on this subreddit. Honestly, the average dating age gap is two to three years so most people date within in their age range. This makes sense given that most people date within their social networks; likewise, you are more likely to date people you already socialize with and you are more likely to to socialize with people within your age group.

Me personally, anything 5 below or 5 above my age is completely off limits for me. With that being said, people should care less who other people want to date. Granted a a 35 year old and a 47 year old falling in love is different than a 50 year old grooming someone who just turned 18. Anyone can obviously agree with that. However, if all adults (regardless of age) are consenting, mind your own fucking business. I'm dumbfounded by the amount of sour grapes and the amount of defending that is done on this stupid topic.

nemma88 · 2021-08-08T21:56:03+00:00

Things don't change that much, and large age gaps havnt been normal for the majority ever. In 1900 the average age of marriage differed by 4 years, today 2.9 years.

Edit ; Look at Einstein. First marriage to a physicist 3 years older than him, second marriage to his first cousin (also 2 years older).

Big-Menu-1559 · 2021-08-08T20:45:24+00:00

I think that Americans are a little paranoid. They literally think that a 20 years old dating a 17 years old is pedophilia. I am not saying that some age gaps aren't creepy. For example if an 18 years old is dating a 50 years old I would be pretty concerned. However, the Americans come across as needlessly paranoid and puritanical from a European perspective. A 20 years old dating a 17 years old is not pedophilia you weirdos.

DarkMindwithReason · 2021-08-08T20:41:16+00:00

It really is just another way to shame and demonise men to be fair. It's always the "innocent" petite 22 year old hot woman who's dating an objectively unattractive 40 year old who's a "victim" and who's pre-frontal cortex is not developed and who's being groomed. It's manipulation, training yada yada yada.

No one talks about other "power dynamics", especially a lot of power dynamics women may have in favour. It's just demonise men and women victim because feminist told me so and everything man bad.

2021-08-08T20:36:11+00:00

Maybe they’re finding a way to get what they ‘need’. But as someone with parents who are 20 years apart, I think it’s generally to do with settling, necessity, a last resort, money, and yeah it can be pretty gross (especially for younger people). I don’t think my folks are very happy (despite being still together in the name of the Lord) due to their generational gap. That causes irreconcilable differences

MadsMkay · 2021-08-08T20:31:11+00:00

I judge big age gaps unless the man is significantly wealthier. But I don’t care enough to hassle these people, I just cut them off socially and carry on with my life.

John_Oakman · 2021-08-08T20:30:37+00:00

As I said before, life experiences and struggles (which maturity is derived from to a certain extent) has more to do than raw amount of time spent orbiting the sun. At least, past the point where the brain is reasonably fully developed.

Bandit174 · 2021-08-08T20:29:54+00:00

I think a lot of the age gap creepiness is just discrepancy in looks. For example if 35 yo guy with perfect hairline and baby face dates 21 yo it will be perceived as less creepy than 21yo dating a fellow 21 yo with premature aging and bad skin even if everyone knows the ages.

Oh maybe a less realistic example, in Twilight the guy was over 1,000 years old but its accepted because he has the face and body of someone young.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-08-08T20:29:30+00:00

This is complex. On the biological side, men do 'age better' than women in terms of their mate value. Men don't have the same fertility window women do. Men wrinkle less, and a neotenous and smooth appearance is less important for male beauty. Female hypergamy also rewards the extra authority and competence men can acquire as they age.

That said, in any given culture, the extent to which culture forces encourage or discourage age gaps in mating varies. I would say that at this point in time, culture is more opposed to larger age gaps than ever.

We live longer and healthier. We have more leisure time. So erotic satisfaction, throughout the entire life cycle of a relationship, is more highly prized than ever. We are also a culture with weak extended families and who envision active retirements. A forty-five year old guy might be objectively hot to a 25-year old woman. But these days, culture encourages her to think the entire decision through. What about when she is 35 and he is 55? Probably still OK. But 45 and 65? 55 and 75? Sex could become an issue. Or if he dies on you when you are still young enough to want a partner, but too old to get a new one easily? Or he dies when you are relatively young and needed support--and there is no extended family to provide it. And if he doesn't die, what about when you are retired at 60+ and want to travel and have adventures, but he is too old, etc.?

Age gaps the other way--older woman--work even worse because not only is culture still against it, but now biology is too. You tend to see these kinds of relationships among richer people who have the money to have serial relationships without excessive financial hardship. Essentially, you go in knowing their a term limit on the relationship.

-QuestionReality- · 2021-08-08T20:13:43+00:00

Is this also a cultural thing? I saw a comment once from a Canadian that said 17 year olds dating 22 year olds isn’t weird, but here in the US, people would FLIP their shit. Maybe that was just one person tho.

Slyfer_Seven · 2021-08-08T20:04:31+00:00

What is an "age gap" 5+, 10+, 20+?

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Title	Age Gap Relationships Discussion Thread
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Upvotes	23
Comments	474
Date	August 8, 2021 8:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/p0lr01/age_gap_relationships_discussion_thread/
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